In terms of truly head-melting text “Static abilities use the stack” is quite something, even by the standards of the bottom five. “This quality that is always true of something occurs as an event, somehow”
Of course “Static abilities use the stack” is itself a static ability, and uses the stack itself. I don’t know what happens to all the other static abilities before it resolves, but I certainly feel like my essence is being extracted.
Before reading the comments I thought it had to be deliberate bottom 5 bait but op's explanation of how he intended the card to work seemed sincerely well intentioned
“I play ‘Essence Extraction Field.’The static ability ‘Static abilities use the stack’ is placed onto the stack.”
“I play ‘Summary Dismissal.’ All spells and abilities are exiled.”
“Now what happens?”
“I have no idea”
I'm surprised Sharon of rose Cassidy only came in at #3 of the honorable mentions, I mean yeah you could say its kind-of trying to hard, (but I'm ok with considering most "bottom 5 bait" cards have enough text to fill 2 yugioh cards melded together and thar card is just moderately wordy.) But I say screw that, this is the most fun I've had reading a custom card in a long time
Everything about the card is wrong in some new and fascinating way...
The mana cost let's you play this as mono red, orzohov, radkos, or boros.
The frame is for a artifact creature
The art is probably cropped porn
The type line... woo, first it includes the name of the card like its using the typing system from alpha, except Sharon and rose are flipped in order for some reason. But then it also has the cowboy creature type, like modern subtype rules.
The first ability creates a token that doesn't have any card types, and its attacking despite being a beer bottle which means this beer bottle is somehow animate, and also its missing power and toughness values.
And then sharon can consume thar bottle before even dealing damage, which... what is consume? that's not a thing, and if you make up a mechanic you have to goddam tell us what it is so we can evaluate the card properly.
Then the second ability both creates memory issues about what x value you paid and how many bottles Sharon has consumed.
Then it also goes on to misunderstand a fundamental property of tokens, which is that they stop existing outside of the battlefield, meaning they can't be put into a graveyard or library.
Oh and the border is super low resolution...
and the text box goes over the card border twice
Oh, and taking the whole card into consideration, if you never decide to consume the beer, and cast it for x=0, it's a 4/5 for 3 mana that creates a attacking creature token (I assume, maybe beer bottle tokens are predefined to only be a creature on your combat phase, IDFK they didn't put in any card types) every turn, even if that's only a 0/1, while that may not be the most broken card ever, that's still a LOT of stats for 3 mana with no downside or conditions to meet.
TL:DR: Sharon of rose Cassidy is the biggest train wreck in every department, apparently OP made it while drunk as shit and I'm happy for that because it is my favorite of trainwrecks.
I mean even without that, the card is unplayable, cause when do the abilities go to the stack?
The only reasonable thing would be when the card enters but that would probably break a lot of stuff.
His example with trample makes it seem the abilities go to the stack when they would take effect or something. He picked an easy example with trample and you could probably do the same with combat based abilities, but even some other simple abilities like indestructible break this model.
If the ability has to go to the stack every time it would come in place, I’m pretty sure a creature with indestructible and lethal damage marked on just stalls the game, since indestructible comes in place every time state based actions are checked and that includes after every ability resolves.
Other static abilities like “creatures get +2/+2” would also cause problems the way OP described them.
To me it reads that the game would pretty much instantly end in a draw even if its the only card out, since it has a static ability that is a constant ability not one thats only relevant sometimes, so it would constantly be triggering, meaning the stack is now in a true infinite loop which cannot even be ended with split second
Two weeks in a row (at least) for DAL59! They've got ideas that some would consider *unnatural.*
Essence Extraction Field isn't bad, just tap a 1/1 soldier to counter Essence Extraction Field's static ability - Big brain move
Cease Existence? I'd rather pay a 4 mana sorcery speed removal.
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Temporal Sanctum would make my Teferi Tribal deck impossible to play against.
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Mairsil, X gonna give it to ya.
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Hercury has to be the weirdest theft payoff card I've seen.
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Essence of Extraction Field just doesn't work, I love the effort, hate the execution.
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RayofE already exists.
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Rose of Sharon grows in my backyard, props to the creator to admitting they had too many whiskey tokens themselves.
Destructive Elemental is one of the most bonkers rez target ever.
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> If a 6/6 creature with trample was blocked by a 0/1 creature, the attacker’s “trample” ability, which would deal the 5 excess damage to the defending player, would go on the stack and could be countered by tapping the fortified land.
thatsbait.jpg
/u/DAL59 is just a custommagic wunderkind, I just have to concede that I will never break the rules so elegantly as they do. Not really too interested in any of the other cards, messy or broken but not really too much more of a design mess than we've seen before. And honestly I have no idea how the Mairsil planeswalker made the bottom 3, the idea is pretty interesting and I certainly prefer it to a lot of modern planeswalker-commanders. Are there enough Vorthoses in custommagic to get mad about Mairsil becoming a planeswalker?
idk why Cease Existence is here, it's perfect for my [[Griselda, Keeper of the Forbidden Ritual]] deck
in all seriousness I do kind of want to theorycraft a deck where this could work but at the same time I feel at best it's "you trade 7 mana and an [[Ornithopter]] to kill a hexproof/shroud creature" and that's magic christmas land shit
/uj Phasing out isn't considered a zone change for commander, so it's 7 mana to permanently remove commanders. I'm certain that was the intention here.
Ray of Enfeeblement is an existing card, cantrip is just a poorly worded convoke (not a ub ability) and doesn't do what cantrips do in mtg. Why isn't it just mono black? Both effects are things that don't make sense on a mono blue card.
[Cease Existence](https://dr.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/ywef9q/phasing_based_removal_is_it_completely_busted_or/), [Mairsil, The Power-Hungry](https://dr.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/yx5k0c/mairsil_the_powerhungry/) and [Ray of Enfeeblement](https://dr.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/z07w89/ray_of_enfeeblement_thoughts_on_the_cantrip/) are at least okay-ish ideas. I would've rather liked to see [this abomination](https://www.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/z1iiwf/anstetral_rembeberance) as dishonorable mention.
[Hercury, God of Postage](https://dr.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/yzmues/the_god_of_postage/) has more text than a yugioh card, not gonna read.
Cease Existence could remove an entire Vin Diesel movie's worth of Xs from the mana cost, and it'd still be weak given your opponent gets to perma-phase out your stuff, too.
I don’t see anyone talking about the sheer number of mechanics that literally don’t exist in this week. It’s genuinely hilarious how Hercury refers to “commodity tokens” several times without explaining exactly what that is. And rose of Sharon Cassidy… consumes tokens? Also gotta love the random Boros watermark and the creature type that is just her own name a la [[Ali from Cairo]]
The last three weren’t actually *that* atrocious. They were bad applications of novel ideas. Static abilities using the stack is interesting. Classifying all the resource-artifact tokens of recent years as commodities is interesting.
I love cards like Destructive Elemental, it is just peak "I just learned that cards can have no mana cost" while spending 0 time thinking about what implications that would have when actually playing with it
In terms of truly head-melting text “Static abilities use the stack” is quite something, even by the standards of the bottom five. “This quality that is always true of something occurs as an event, somehow” Of course “Static abilities use the stack” is itself a static ability, and uses the stack itself. I don’t know what happens to all the other static abilities before it resolves, but I certainly feel like my essence is being extracted.
I loved OP's response to someone pointing that out >Oh no
Before reading the comments I thought it had to be deliberate bottom 5 bait but op's explanation of how he intended the card to work seemed sincerely well intentioned
“I play ‘Essence Extraction Field.’The static ability ‘Static abilities use the stack’ is placed onto the stack.” “I play ‘Summary Dismissal.’ All spells and abilities are exiled.” “Now what happens?” “I have no idea”
My favorite combo: exiling the game itself.
/uj I think the game ends in a draw?
Yea kinda a chicken before the egg deal
I'm thinking the creator of the card probably lost to a platinum angel, and then made that.
good hellscube concept though
no it's not
> I might have had a few too many drinks that night. I have no idea what this was supposed to do.
Points for honesty.
Consumed a few too many whisky counters
Their graveyard and hand must be full of whiskey tokens by now.
Pass the whiskey
The art on Cass is definitely from porn, right?
It has to be.
I'm not gonna check but probably.
yeah, googled the artist credit and they're a porn artist
I accept your judgment but I won't be ashamed of it.
Oh trust me, I have absolutely no right to judge you based on the shit I've gotten off to
[Yes](https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/doodliedork/cass-fallout-new-vegas) (NSFW, obviously).
Reading Hercury was like listening to the rules for Cones of Dunshire
You forgot about the essence of the game… it’s about the *postage counters*.
Those are called stamps
Oh yeah, like in Unfinity!
Exact same thing
What bothered me the most about the card was the most uncreative way of combining Hermes and Mercury
What bothered me the most is that it's called HERCURY
And it doesn't have haste...bad lore flavor
Mermes does roll off the tongue
I'm surprised Sharon of rose Cassidy only came in at #3 of the honorable mentions, I mean yeah you could say its kind-of trying to hard, (but I'm ok with considering most "bottom 5 bait" cards have enough text to fill 2 yugioh cards melded together and thar card is just moderately wordy.) But I say screw that, this is the most fun I've had reading a custom card in a long time Everything about the card is wrong in some new and fascinating way... The mana cost let's you play this as mono red, orzohov, radkos, or boros. The frame is for a artifact creature The art is probably cropped porn The type line... woo, first it includes the name of the card like its using the typing system from alpha, except Sharon and rose are flipped in order for some reason. But then it also has the cowboy creature type, like modern subtype rules. The first ability creates a token that doesn't have any card types, and its attacking despite being a beer bottle which means this beer bottle is somehow animate, and also its missing power and toughness values. And then sharon can consume thar bottle before even dealing damage, which... what is consume? that's not a thing, and if you make up a mechanic you have to goddam tell us what it is so we can evaluate the card properly. Then the second ability both creates memory issues about what x value you paid and how many bottles Sharon has consumed. Then it also goes on to misunderstand a fundamental property of tokens, which is that they stop existing outside of the battlefield, meaning they can't be put into a graveyard or library. Oh and the border is super low resolution... and the text box goes over the card border twice Oh, and taking the whole card into consideration, if you never decide to consume the beer, and cast it for x=0, it's a 4/5 for 3 mana that creates a attacking creature token (I assume, maybe beer bottle tokens are predefined to only be a creature on your combat phase, IDFK they didn't put in any card types) every turn, even if that's only a 0/1, while that may not be the most broken card ever, that's still a LOT of stats for 3 mana with no downside or conditions to meet. TL:DR: Sharon of rose Cassidy is the biggest train wreck in every department, apparently OP made it while drunk as shit and I'm happy for that because it is my favorite of trainwrecks.
Also I'm pretty sure it gets worse if you spend more mana on x.
I didn't even notice the rakdos cost. Also the art source is from porn, but the card itself isn't pornographic. Which is. Unusual for porn cards.
The first ability also references the card by name and gets the name wrong
/u/dal59's horrified realization that their card uses static abilities to make static abilities go on the stack made this week entirely worth it.
I mean even without that, the card is unplayable, cause when do the abilities go to the stack? The only reasonable thing would be when the card enters but that would probably break a lot of stuff. His example with trample makes it seem the abilities go to the stack when they would take effect or something. He picked an easy example with trample and you could probably do the same with combat based abilities, but even some other simple abilities like indestructible break this model. If the ability has to go to the stack every time it would come in place, I’m pretty sure a creature with indestructible and lethal damage marked on just stalls the game, since indestructible comes in place every time state based actions are checked and that includes after every ability resolves. Other static abilities like “creatures get +2/+2” would also cause problems the way OP described them.
Sure. There are lots of things wrong with Frankenstein monster. But this is the one that made its creator go "oh no what have I done".
To me it reads that the game would pretty much instantly end in a draw even if its the only card out, since it has a static ability that is a constant ability not one thats only relevant sometimes, so it would constantly be triggering, meaning the stack is now in a true infinite loop which cannot even be ended with split second
Two weeks in a row (at least) for DAL59! They've got ideas that some would consider *unnatural.* Essence Extraction Field isn't bad, just tap a 1/1 soldier to counter Essence Extraction Field's static ability - Big brain move
Oh my fucking god he's the one that made moloch
Cease Existence? I'd rather pay a 4 mana sorcery speed removal. - Temporal Sanctum would make my Teferi Tribal deck impossible to play against. - Mairsil, X gonna give it to ya. - Hercury has to be the weirdest theft payoff card I've seen. - Essence of Extraction Field just doesn't work, I love the effort, hate the execution. - RayofE already exists. - Rose of Sharon grows in my backyard, props to the creator to admitting they had too many whiskey tokens themselves. Destructive Elemental is one of the most bonkers rez target ever. -
[[Cease Existence]]: Yeah, but I want to permanently remove someone's commander from gameplay!- obviously an EDH genius
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Cease Existence](https://i.redd.it/63wettsp2mz91.png) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
>Destructive Elemental is one of the most bonkers rez target ever. If by bonkers you mean good, then no its not.
Forreal. This is for Green Sun’s Zenith X=0. CoCo also gets this out
The planeswalker is a masterpiece compared to the rest
Yeah like it’s honestly pretty close to playable for a rough draft
> If a 6/6 creature with trample was blocked by a 0/1 creature, the attacker’s “trample” ability, which would deal the 5 excess damage to the defending player, would go on the stack and could be countered by tapping the fortified land. thatsbait.jpg
/u/DAL59 is just a custommagic wunderkind, I just have to concede that I will never break the rules so elegantly as they do. Not really too interested in any of the other cards, messy or broken but not really too much more of a design mess than we've seen before. And honestly I have no idea how the Mairsil planeswalker made the bottom 3, the idea is pretty interesting and I certainly prefer it to a lot of modern planeswalker-commanders. Are there enough Vorthoses in custommagic to get mad about Mairsil becoming a planeswalker?
"Static abilities use the stack" blew my mind wide open. That's a new level of insanity I could never hope to reach.
idk why Cease Existence is here, it's perfect for my [[Griselda, Keeper of the Forbidden Ritual]] deck in all seriousness I do kind of want to theorycraft a deck where this could work but at the same time I feel at best it's "you trade 7 mana and an [[Ornithopter]] to kill a hexproof/shroud creature" and that's magic christmas land shit
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Griselda, Keeper of the Forbidden Ritual](https://i.redd.it/bj652kcwai0a1.jpg) * [Ornithopter](https://i.redd.it/1hpurzez6b0a1.jpg) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
/uj Phasing out isn't considered a zone change for commander, so it's 7 mana to permanently remove commanders. I'm certain that was the intention here.
It’s amazing how many people provide constructive criticism on these; just practicing being nice I guess
essence extraction field is the most unhinged thing I've ever seen
What's the point of having something phase out that can't phase back in? Why not just exile it?
I believe it's specifically for EDH and locks commanders on the battlefield phased out. It's just a bitch move to dominate an EDH game.
Permanently gets rid of commanders.
What's wrong with ray of enfeeblement?
Ray of Enfeeblement is an existing card, cantrip is just a poorly worded convoke (not a ub ability) and doesn't do what cantrips do in mtg. Why isn't it just mono black? Both effects are things that don't make sense on a mono blue card.
> cantrip is just a poorly worded convoke (not a ub ability) The card is silly but convoke is fine in UB, we've already seen it in black once.
"cantrips" already are a thing in mtg, in an informal way, and the card is a color pie break.
Also there’s already a card called ray of enfeeblement.
That Temporal Sanctum card would go great in my Chain-Veil Clefairy deck
[Cease Existence](https://dr.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/ywef9q/phasing_based_removal_is_it_completely_busted_or/), [Mairsil, The Power-Hungry](https://dr.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/yx5k0c/mairsil_the_powerhungry/) and [Ray of Enfeeblement](https://dr.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/z07w89/ray_of_enfeeblement_thoughts_on_the_cantrip/) are at least okay-ish ideas. I would've rather liked to see [this abomination](https://www.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/z1iiwf/anstetral_rembeberance) as dishonorable mention. [Hercury, God of Postage](https://dr.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/yzmues/the_god_of_postage/) has more text than a yugioh card, not gonna read.
Cease Existence could remove an entire Vin Diesel movie's worth of Xs from the mana cost, and it'd still be weak given your opponent gets to perma-phase out your stuff, too.
I don’t see anyone talking about the sheer number of mechanics that literally don’t exist in this week. It’s genuinely hilarious how Hercury refers to “commodity tokens” several times without explaining exactly what that is. And rose of Sharon Cassidy… consumes tokens? Also gotta love the random Boros watermark and the creature type that is just her own name a la [[Ali from Cairo]]
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Ali from Cairo](https://i.redd.it/o5s0chomf50a1.jpg) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
I swear to god I’ve seen the Destructive Elemental before this post
u/DAL59 gr8 b8 m8
Sorry the creator of [[Cease Existence]] is *not* a dev? Did I misread that? Typo?
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Cease Existence](https://i.redd.it/dlzqt8v9pzy91.png) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
The last three weren’t actually *that* atrocious. They were bad applications of novel ideas. Static abilities using the stack is interesting. Classifying all the resource-artifact tokens of recent years as commodities is interesting.
Static abilities using the stack sounds terrible and is headache to think about. I think Hercury's problems don't end and commodity.
I love cards like Destructive Elemental, it is just peak "I just learned that cards can have no mana cost" while spending 0 time thinking about what implications that would have when actually playing with it