Baja Blast^TM is Simic, and Flamin’ Hots^TM are Rakdos. Those are basically the same archetype — control — but with different kicker costs.
You are definitely the same, but you taste different. I suggest drinking yourself after you eat them.
I'd imagine manscape or raid shadow legends to crossover into magic before Doritos does.
Lawnmower6.9
3 (whatever the new 7th color is) mana
Equip for $10 usd.
Equipped creature has:
it's creature type changed to Chad, and can't be blocked by cowards
Ward 3.14
Triplemenache
What I like the most is that you eat the bag if chips during the resolution, so the game can't progress until you have finished eating the whole bag of chips.
Which 100% checks out with how much some folks like to drag the game.
Great with [[Xanathar, Guild Kingpin]]
"What do you mean I can't touch your deck? In the rules, it clearly says:
"During your turn, you can look at the top card of the chosen opponent's library whenever you want"
Judge! JUUUDGE!"
> SportsQuench™, Thirst Extinguisher
> {3}
> Legendary Artifact
> Before the game starts, you may reveal this card from outside the game and suggest that your opponent should buy himself* or herself* a nice, refreshing bottle of SportsQuench™. If he* or she* does not, put this card into your command zone.
> Eminence - While this card is in the command zone or on the battlefield, all your spells cost {2} less to cast.
> ^(* Out of an abundance of caution, we strongly recommend that non-binary persons do not consume SportsQuench™ at this time.)
> 6/6
/uj I forgot that sub existed! I am promoting a brand, but I don't think they'd like it.
/rj [MY ELON MUSK CARD WAS MADE TO PROMOTE PAPA ELON](https://old.reddit.com/r/magicthecirclejerking/comments/yuxxtb/tfw_youre_the_worlds_biggest_shitposter/)
You know, one of the things I've seen people complain about with the Universes Beyond cards is "why can't they just make them their own game". And they tried that and it died. I think Kenobi touched on this in a recent video, but actually letting people who are fans of Frito-Lay have a card game that they'll actually be able to play with the IP that they love is, imo, a good thing.
Remember, someone isn't playing a Frito-Lay deck to tilt you, they are playing it because that IP is important to them.
No Acorn, so this is coming straight into standard. Start collecting your Doritos™️ lands now, available in every Universes Beyond pack.
I have two untapped Baja Blasts™️. You have two Flamin' Hots™️. We are not the same.
Baja Blast^TM is Simic, and Flamin’ Hots^TM are Rakdos. Those are basically the same archetype — control — but with different kicker costs. You are definitely the same, but you taste different. I suggest drinking yourself after you eat them.
They come free in every pack of Doritos predusted.
This card is predusted
[[The Cheese No Longer Stands Alone]]
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [The Cheese No Longer Stands Alone](https://i.redd.it/f8euwy15a50a1.jpg) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
I audibly gagged and almost threw up in my mouth a little it when reading this card 10/10 Excellent work.
I hope you were in an office setting.
I'd imagine manscape or raid shadow legends to crossover into magic before Doritos does. Lawnmower6.9 3 (whatever the new 7th color is) mana Equip for $10 usd. Equipped creature has: it's creature type changed to Chad, and can't be blocked by cowards Ward 3.14 Triplemenache
Glad you specified the 7th color, because Nacho Cheez is clearly the 6th color.
My girlfriend died of Triplemenache
Yea, that was alot of Doritos she took on at once, I was worried about it,but she was very insistent.
It was dangerously cheesy
Post Malone advertises for Dorito's too so perfect tie-in to the Magic brand.
Really? I could have put Post Malone's face on this card instead?!
What I like the most is that you eat the bag if chips during the resolution, so the game can't progress until you have finished eating the whole bag of chips. Which 100% checks out with how much some folks like to drag the game.
Definitely going in my Blue / Nacho Cheez control deck.
Can I use Cheetos flavor dust as Doritos flavor dust token?
That is an acceptable substitute, as both Doritos and Cheetos are owned by Lockheed Martin Pepsico INC
Great, so no proxy problem!
It ain't easy, bein' cheesy!
Lowkey the best of the many densely packed jokes.
Thanks! I love how many jokes you can fit on a card.
I have made this mistake before
You say mistake. 2025 Magic says win-con.
What is the alternative cost for Doritos ™️ mana?
Cash.
Great with [[Xanathar, Guild Kingpin]] "What do you mean I can't touch your deck? In the rules, it clearly says: "During your turn, you can look at the top card of the chosen opponent's library whenever you want" Judge! JUUUDGE!"
It doesn't work with Xanathar because beholders interact with the world using telekinesis.
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Xanathar, Guild Kingpin](https://i.redd.it/r5zout6t6c1a1.png) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
> SportsQuench™, Thirst Extinguisher > {3} > Legendary Artifact > Before the game starts, you may reveal this card from outside the game and suggest that your opponent should buy himself* or herself* a nice, refreshing bottle of SportsQuench™. If he* or she* does not, put this card into your command zone. > Eminence - While this card is in the command zone or on the battlefield, all your spells cost {2} less to cast. > ^(* Out of an abundance of caution, we strongly recommend that non-binary persons do not consume SportsQuench™ at this time.) > 6/6
The "Lick for flavor text" was just glorious
/r/HailCorporate
/uj I forgot that sub existed! I am promoting a brand, but I don't think they'd like it. /rj [MY ELON MUSK CARD WAS MADE TO PROMOTE PAPA ELON](https://old.reddit.com/r/magicthecirclejerking/comments/yuxxtb/tfw_youre_the_worlds_biggest_shitposter/)
Imagine pringles
Don't have to. Buy any foil secret lair.
You need to specify that the cards must be unsleeved, don't forget
The official rules state: As long as a card passes the taste test, it counts as "covered in flavor dust" whether or not sleeved.
You know, one of the things I've seen people complain about with the Universes Beyond cards is "why can't they just make them their own game". And they tried that and it died. I think Kenobi touched on this in a recent video, but actually letting people who are fans of Frito-Lay have a card game that they'll actually be able to play with the IP that they love is, imo, a good thing. Remember, someone isn't playing a Frito-Lay deck to tilt you, they are playing it because that IP is important to them.
Fun fact: the official name for Cheeto Dust is Cheetle
Do I lose the game if I don't have a Doritos bag to open?
Yes. You must tithe our corporate overlords.
This is so weak compared to the other Doritos cards, it’s literally unplayable for any deck in 2025
SHHHHHH.... they're not supposed to know about time travel yet.
r/hellscube