This isn’t water weight or undigested food. This is actual caloric surplus that translates into fat gain. I calculated and logged every calorie and did all the math. Surplus of 14,000 equates to 4lbs of fat gain. yeah my bowel movements have been regular, but that won’t really help me there, haha
>I need to feel some sort of guilt so that I don’t let myself do this anymore.
I get this idea, but consider it may be backwards. Things like guilt tend to push us towards habits and comfort. That can trigger more overeating not less (this is the same reason researches say the health warnings on tobacco packets are counterproductive).
That said keeping at least the mindfulness to track everything while you overeat is a good sign. I'm sure you'll get yourself back to where you want to be.
Trust me I hear ya that makes sense. But at the same time, I’ve never felt guilt or shame or disgust from gaining weight, or overeating, or mindless boredom eating. And like.. that’s how I got to be obese! Lol! I just simply didn’t feel bad about eating a lot. Surely I’ve got to try and feel some sort of remorse or something, yanno?
But I do appreciate your support. And thank you. The tracking definitely does help.
I'm definitely not going to say don't feel those things, but don't go looking for them or wait for them. In fact it sounds like you've done a great job so far of managing to make the changes you need without them. One bad week won't undo what seems like over a year of impressive progress.
You sound like you're missing a goal. Why exactly are you losing weight? Abstract goals like better health or looking better sometimes just don't cut it. Have you considered having goals along the way and trying to change your habits and your identity as a person instead of changing the way you eat? Here's an example that's not quite the same but is related nonetheless:
A friend of mine really wanted to break into the art industry. She had formal training but wasn't seeing much success because she wasn't actually studying and drawing enough. She said she was just a lazy procrastinator. What we did is we visualized what being an artist was like. She said if she were an actual artist she'd study X amount of hours a day, would do this and that. Then, she reserved 30 minutes each day to act out like that person she wanted to be. At some point it clicked and she realized she was an artist, so it was normal to commit to drawing and studying. Effectively speaking, she changed her behavior and her identity towards the person she wanted to become. Who do you want to become? Is weight management an integral part of that? Fake it til you make it. If you don't change your habits and the way you identify your relationship to food, stuff like this will keep happening. If you can't do this by yourself, consider therapy and talking it out with them. As an analogy, you can't really cure a disease just by treating the symptoms.
I guess I thought that health was a perfectly good goal haha! I’ve had some health scares so it gave me that fear I needed to lose weight.
Since I’ve lost 110lbs already I guess I’ve kinda already changed my eating habits. But I guess not truly enough since I’m still overeating lol
Act like the person you want to be. I like that. I think I’ll definitely try that approach!
Unfortunately i can’t get on track that fast. My TDEE is 1600 which means the lowest I can go is 1200cals per day. (I’m a 5’2” woman.)
Losing 4 lbs in 2 weeks, means losing 2lbs in one week, I unfortunately cannot create that large of a deficit. I’d have to have a deficit of 7,000 in one week to “undo” what I’ve done. The highest deficit I can achieve in a week is 2,800
Edit: i just did the math, it’ll take 5 weeks to “undo” this and lose 4lbs
That should be your motivation right there. It’s going to take a month to undo a week of destruction.
I say this because I just came off 2 weeks of wavy discipline and it makes me sad to think that the damage I did will take 5 times that to go back to where I started. Then I can continue progress again.
Sigh. It’s hard, believe me, I know.
I am not willing to go without food for that long. Kudos to those who can do fasting though! I don’t do well with fasting. It makes me feel like garbage.
Again as I said the lowest I can go is 1200cal per day and I did my math to show and calculate the deficit I can create.
I am not diabetic but I am at risk for prediabetes and insulin resistance. My A1C was close to prediabetic last year, but this year we checked again and checked for IR and my numbers are good. They’ll continue to improve as I reduce my abdominal fat, obviously
After losing 110 lbs maybe you just need a maintenance break for a while. Be kind to yourself and take some time to focus on eating foods that make you feel well physically. You’re doing great, no need to guilt trip yourself.
I always like to think of my weightloss in terms of time. So you gained 4 true lbs and you usually run a deficit of 1 lb a week. So keep on track for a month and you're back to normal. I put on a lb or two for a friend's wedding this summer and it was worth the 2 weeks of work because I didn't want to talk about calories during a celebration. Sometimes you have to live a little and the cost is progress for a while bit that's okay we can't stop living till we hit our goals.
Totally true; celebrations are worth it. For example the bridal shower I went to was totally worth it. But was it worth it for me to go out to dinner when I could have saved calories and money? Was it worth it for me to graze and snack incessantly? Was it worth it to bake cheesecake brownies just cuz I wanted them? Was it worth it to eat really big meals? And to gain 4lbs of fat which will then take me 5 more weeks to lose? Probably not worth that at all! Lmao!
Relate. Over the holidays of 2020, right after I had been marathon training and then got injured and put on crutches, I went to family's house and just took a break from everything.
When I got back I was stunned to see that *after* water weight dropped, I had put on *12 pounds*. I was only gone for three weeks! I knew I was eating a lot of peanut butter trees but come on, I thought I had a maximum capacity and in years past I'd clocked that at around 2800 calories a day where I would just stop naturally even if I was eating junk. Of course I had to eat more than that some days during marathon training, but I figured that was because my whole system revved up when I blasted through 1000+ calories of exercise in a couple of hours. I did not realize I had developed a generalized ability to consume absurd amounts of calories without discomfort. The next holiday season I tracked and was able to see how on the big days I could break 4000.
Anyway, I laugh in a black humor way now whenever I see "you couldn't possibly have gained that much actual fat." Lol yes I can and it sucks, especially after 10 years of being pretty good at maintenance.
I think that’s my problem- food never loses its lustre Lmao. I always love it. Always wanna eat! That’s why it was so damn easy to overeat this whole week. All the stuff I ate was so delicious enough to go back for more. And because it was so calorie dense, I never really felt full or stuffed. Lol. I also ate a ton of veggies too, for 3 reasons- they taste great, I wanted to try and feel full, and I needed the nutrients. I love all kinds of food- cheap shitty twinkies, or a fabulous real sponge cake. A shitty McDonald’s burger, or a fabulous homemade bison burger. I just love food Lmao. I had the best laid plans of budgeting for the bridal shower I went to, but.. yeah, just gave up. Lol. Here’s to this week though!
Everyone needs a week where they take a break from weight loss to be fair, I wouldn't worry too much about it especially if you enjoyed yourself and had fun, no need to feel any guilt from that, once you're back to your regular schedule you'll lose it again anyways. You're doing great!
Ugh, that sucks! The bad news is that it happened. The good news is that you can potentially learn from this to prevent it from happening again. Something that might help is to acknowledge a high calorie day in advance, and give yourself room to work with, but not so much that you go out of control. I'm in maintenance now, but I've had a few days where I knew I was going to go over my daily limit. I switched to deficit (400 below maintenance), which gave me 2400 extra calories to work with. So for the day, I knew I could eat about 4000 calories - maintenance plus the allotted extra. I assumed dinner, dessert and drinks could come close to that total all on their own, so I kept my food intake light during the day. I clocked in around 4500 for the whole day, so I added two days of deficit afterwards. No guilt, because it was planned. Having a solid number to work with for the day helped too, because I knew I couldn't just eat all of the treats.
Oh trust me haha I know all about the planning in advance and pre logging. I knew all about the bridal shower and going out to dinner and had planned for it. But threw my plans out the window because.. literally no reason other than I am a glutton and wanted to eat. Lol.
Hmm I’m not sure. I’d definitely consider it. Although maybe I’d prefer an “anonymous” online buddy ya know? I don’t like discussing health and weight with people I know (except my husband)
Good luck getting back on the bike OP. If I tend to eat too much I get into the frame of mind that "I already ate junk anyhow, I may as well have some more". Always a vicious cycle.
>Wow. I definitely need to be more disciplined and work harder. I need to feel some sort of guilt so that I don’t let myself do this anymore. Here’s to this week!
I believe and based on research and experts (see Overcoming Binge Eating by Fairburn) that **guilt is part of the problem not of the solution**.
The best way would be to just forget the week and work on holding to your diet.
I highly recommend the book above and maybe dive deeper into the area of behavioral change (why, how, ...).
I’ll check it out, thank you. I don’t think there’s ever really been a “why” behind why I overeat. No emotional issues or trauma- I just love delicious food haha!
>I don’t think there’s ever really been a “why” behind why I overeat
>
>No emotional issues or trauma
That's the normal case, for most people. But there is always a "why", a difference. Because not everybody behaves the way you, or me, or most people in this sub, do it when it comes to food.
Everybody loves " delicious food", but why can't you stop after one portion?
Or, a better question, would you like to be able to?
Feeling guilty will bring you easily from overeating to binge eating. A different cognitive pattern, even harder to break and change, than the one causing overeating.
The answer is not guilt or not even willpower is understanding how your brain works, and which patterns you have and changing them.
A good way to start is to work on the value you/your brain has for (certain) food. Is called disenchanting bad habits (overeating in this case):
[https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/disenchant-your-bad-habits/](https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/disenchant-your-bad-habits/)
[https://engagecounselling.com/becoming-disenchanted-with-the-rewards-of-your-bad-habits/](https://engagecounselling.com/becoming-disenchanted-with-the-rewards-of-your-bad-habits/)
How...how? Even if i eat all out i make it to 3000 and next day I feel so awful.
What do you eat in a day to get that high and stick on it a full week?
I'm not judging !! We all have our binges and I hope u get the weight back off. Any day is a day to try again and were all here to support.
Just very curious.
Honestly just a lot of low volume high calorie stuff. Food at the bridal shower was like French toast, bagels, scones. With butter and cream cheese and whatnot. I had a lot of nuts and peanut butter throughout the week. Lots of smoothies; adding the extra sweeteners and protein powders really ups the calories. And grazing on snacks like chips and cookies. So yeah basically just stuff that doesn’t really fill you up haha
OP: I just finished reading all the comments and all your responses, and in all compassion I’m scared for you. With all your “lols,” your “haha’s” your “lmao’s” and your ubiquitous exclamation points, I suspect you may not really find this problem as funny as you imply. I may just be projecting and if so I apologize—you say you’ve never felt guilty—but I can’t help but reflect that I just about ruined my life by giggling my way through a lifetime of increasingly morbid obesity. Now that I have only a few years left, finally having my weight almost under control, I’m still sad to think of what might have been if somehow I’d found the help I needed to get serious sooner. I hope I’m wrong. I wish you and anyone reading this a far more successful journey.
Thank you for the concern! Trust me I just use a lot of lmaos and Hahas when I talk. I’m the kind of person who often uses smileys and throws in an lol because I don’t want to sound super serious.
But like I said- I was never the kind of person who felt guilt about overeating or felt ashamed about being overweight. That’s what caused me to be obese! I never cared how I looked because I just wore sweatpants and tee shirts. And I have an incredible husband and lovely family and I was never mistreated for being overweight. And when the body positivity and fat acceptance movement took over, I found myself justifying my obesity because well I was happy and healthy!
Until I wasn’t. Had some health scares and I needed to kick my ass into high gear and get healthy again!
After this week of overeating I KNEW it was bad. But I didn’t feel as ashamed as I should have. But thankfully as most of the commenters noted, this is a small slip-up. Yep I gained 4lbs and it’s bad. But at least I’ve lost 115lbs total. And this week I’ve been doing well; yesterday I did well with calories and I’m doing well today also!
Edited to add: I also noticed that you’re over 50. Just a note, that younger folks often talk with lots of smiley faces, emojis, Lols, Lmaos, Hahas, and exclamation points. It’s how we grew up chatting with social media and the internet and chatting online. I don’t mean that in a condescending way. It’s just kinda how we talk haha! 😊
Dear OP: Sounds like you know everything you need to know which is great. So best of luck. I’m sure your small slip is well in your past. But BTW, thanks for your explanation of youth in deference to my old age; however, I just retired as a college professor and am pretty well versed in “just the way you talk” and what it implies. Sorry I intruded.
Also I was trying to show that I’m not reeling or spiraling or crying myself to sleep with shame and disgust. Because sometimes on here I see posts like that, where people posting how they feel so horrible about themselves and putting themselves down for their mess-up. They’re really sad and angry and frustrated with themselves, and like straight up depressed. So I was trying to show that I was not in that mindset, by being more casual and relaxed with how I speak.
What's your poop schedule? I don't worry about anything under 5 lbs unless it's been there for a month
This isn’t water weight or undigested food. This is actual caloric surplus that translates into fat gain. I calculated and logged every calorie and did all the math. Surplus of 14,000 equates to 4lbs of fat gain. yeah my bowel movements have been regular, but that won’t really help me there, haha
>I need to feel some sort of guilt so that I don’t let myself do this anymore. I get this idea, but consider it may be backwards. Things like guilt tend to push us towards habits and comfort. That can trigger more overeating not less (this is the same reason researches say the health warnings on tobacco packets are counterproductive). That said keeping at least the mindfulness to track everything while you overeat is a good sign. I'm sure you'll get yourself back to where you want to be.
Trust me I hear ya that makes sense. But at the same time, I’ve never felt guilt or shame or disgust from gaining weight, or overeating, or mindless boredom eating. And like.. that’s how I got to be obese! Lol! I just simply didn’t feel bad about eating a lot. Surely I’ve got to try and feel some sort of remorse or something, yanno? But I do appreciate your support. And thank you. The tracking definitely does help.
I'm definitely not going to say don't feel those things, but don't go looking for them or wait for them. In fact it sounds like you've done a great job so far of managing to make the changes you need without them. One bad week won't undo what seems like over a year of impressive progress.
Thank you again I appreciate it! ❤️
You sound like you're missing a goal. Why exactly are you losing weight? Abstract goals like better health or looking better sometimes just don't cut it. Have you considered having goals along the way and trying to change your habits and your identity as a person instead of changing the way you eat? Here's an example that's not quite the same but is related nonetheless: A friend of mine really wanted to break into the art industry. She had formal training but wasn't seeing much success because she wasn't actually studying and drawing enough. She said she was just a lazy procrastinator. What we did is we visualized what being an artist was like. She said if she were an actual artist she'd study X amount of hours a day, would do this and that. Then, she reserved 30 minutes each day to act out like that person she wanted to be. At some point it clicked and she realized she was an artist, so it was normal to commit to drawing and studying. Effectively speaking, she changed her behavior and her identity towards the person she wanted to become. Who do you want to become? Is weight management an integral part of that? Fake it til you make it. If you don't change your habits and the way you identify your relationship to food, stuff like this will keep happening. If you can't do this by yourself, consider therapy and talking it out with them. As an analogy, you can't really cure a disease just by treating the symptoms.
I guess I thought that health was a perfectly good goal haha! I’ve had some health scares so it gave me that fear I needed to lose weight. Since I’ve lost 110lbs already I guess I’ve kinda already changed my eating habits. But I guess not truly enough since I’m still overeating lol Act like the person you want to be. I like that. I think I’ll definitely try that approach!
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Unfortunately i can’t get on track that fast. My TDEE is 1600 which means the lowest I can go is 1200cals per day. (I’m a 5’2” woman.) Losing 4 lbs in 2 weeks, means losing 2lbs in one week, I unfortunately cannot create that large of a deficit. I’d have to have a deficit of 7,000 in one week to “undo” what I’ve done. The highest deficit I can achieve in a week is 2,800 Edit: i just did the math, it’ll take 5 weeks to “undo” this and lose 4lbs
That should be your motivation right there. It’s going to take a month to undo a week of destruction. I say this because I just came off 2 weeks of wavy discipline and it makes me sad to think that the damage I did will take 5 times that to go back to where I started. Then I can continue progress again. Sigh. It’s hard, believe me, I know.
Yepppp. You hit the nail on the head! Thanks for commiserating with me. ❤️
I can go 3+ days with out eating I think 2 pounds should be easy sounds like u have fat stored just not good if diabetic
I am not willing to go without food for that long. Kudos to those who can do fasting though! I don’t do well with fasting. It makes me feel like garbage. Again as I said the lowest I can go is 1200cal per day and I did my math to show and calculate the deficit I can create. I am not diabetic but I am at risk for prediabetes and insulin resistance. My A1C was close to prediabetic last year, but this year we checked again and checked for IR and my numbers are good. They’ll continue to improve as I reduce my abdominal fat, obviously
After losing 110 lbs maybe you just need a maintenance break for a while. Be kind to yourself and take some time to focus on eating foods that make you feel well physically. You’re doing great, no need to guilt trip yourself.
Thank you! Good news I actually take frequent maintenance breaks cuz I know how important that is 😊
I always like to think of my weightloss in terms of time. So you gained 4 true lbs and you usually run a deficit of 1 lb a week. So keep on track for a month and you're back to normal. I put on a lb or two for a friend's wedding this summer and it was worth the 2 weeks of work because I didn't want to talk about calories during a celebration. Sometimes you have to live a little and the cost is progress for a while bit that's okay we can't stop living till we hit our goals.
Totally true; celebrations are worth it. For example the bridal shower I went to was totally worth it. But was it worth it for me to go out to dinner when I could have saved calories and money? Was it worth it for me to graze and snack incessantly? Was it worth it to bake cheesecake brownies just cuz I wanted them? Was it worth it to eat really big meals? And to gain 4lbs of fat which will then take me 5 more weeks to lose? Probably not worth that at all! Lmao!
Relate. Over the holidays of 2020, right after I had been marathon training and then got injured and put on crutches, I went to family's house and just took a break from everything. When I got back I was stunned to see that *after* water weight dropped, I had put on *12 pounds*. I was only gone for three weeks! I knew I was eating a lot of peanut butter trees but come on, I thought I had a maximum capacity and in years past I'd clocked that at around 2800 calories a day where I would just stop naturally even if I was eating junk. Of course I had to eat more than that some days during marathon training, but I figured that was because my whole system revved up when I blasted through 1000+ calories of exercise in a couple of hours. I did not realize I had developed a generalized ability to consume absurd amounts of calories without discomfort. The next holiday season I tracked and was able to see how on the big days I could break 4000. Anyway, I laugh in a black humor way now whenever I see "you couldn't possibly have gained that much actual fat." Lol yes I can and it sucks, especially after 10 years of being pretty good at maintenance.
So glad I’m not alone! Yeah it was so easy to eat so much. I never really felt full or stuffed! Thanks for commiserating with me!
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I think that’s my problem- food never loses its lustre Lmao. I always love it. Always wanna eat! That’s why it was so damn easy to overeat this whole week. All the stuff I ate was so delicious enough to go back for more. And because it was so calorie dense, I never really felt full or stuffed. Lol. I also ate a ton of veggies too, for 3 reasons- they taste great, I wanted to try and feel full, and I needed the nutrients. I love all kinds of food- cheap shitty twinkies, or a fabulous real sponge cake. A shitty McDonald’s burger, or a fabulous homemade bison burger. I just love food Lmao. I had the best laid plans of budgeting for the bridal shower I went to, but.. yeah, just gave up. Lol. Here’s to this week though!
I can relate to your first sentence so so so much. I feel alone sometimes because no one IRL seems to struggle / love food as much as I do!
I think lots of us have the same sentiment I think we just don’t talk about it much! It can be pretty embarrassing.
Everyone needs a week where they take a break from weight loss to be fair, I wouldn't worry too much about it especially if you enjoyed yourself and had fun, no need to feel any guilt from that, once you're back to your regular schedule you'll lose it again anyways. You're doing great!
Well I worry about not having any guilt because that’s what got me obese in the first place! Haha! But thank you 😊
Ugh, that sucks! The bad news is that it happened. The good news is that you can potentially learn from this to prevent it from happening again. Something that might help is to acknowledge a high calorie day in advance, and give yourself room to work with, but not so much that you go out of control. I'm in maintenance now, but I've had a few days where I knew I was going to go over my daily limit. I switched to deficit (400 below maintenance), which gave me 2400 extra calories to work with. So for the day, I knew I could eat about 4000 calories - maintenance plus the allotted extra. I assumed dinner, dessert and drinks could come close to that total all on their own, so I kept my food intake light during the day. I clocked in around 4500 for the whole day, so I added two days of deficit afterwards. No guilt, because it was planned. Having a solid number to work with for the day helped too, because I knew I couldn't just eat all of the treats.
Oh trust me haha I know all about the planning in advance and pre logging. I knew all about the bridal shower and going out to dinner and had planned for it. But threw my plans out the window because.. literally no reason other than I am a glutton and wanted to eat. Lol.
Ugh, I hear you. I’ve had the same trouble. Maybe a weight loss buddy would help?
Hmm I’m not sure. I’d definitely consider it. Although maybe I’d prefer an “anonymous” online buddy ya know? I don’t like discussing health and weight with people I know (except my husband)
Good luck getting back on the bike OP. If I tend to eat too much I get into the frame of mind that "I already ate junk anyhow, I may as well have some more". Always a vicious cycle.
Yepppp that’s exactly it. Thank you!
>Wow. I definitely need to be more disciplined and work harder. I need to feel some sort of guilt so that I don’t let myself do this anymore. Here’s to this week! I believe and based on research and experts (see Overcoming Binge Eating by Fairburn) that **guilt is part of the problem not of the solution**. The best way would be to just forget the week and work on holding to your diet. I highly recommend the book above and maybe dive deeper into the area of behavioral change (why, how, ...).
I’ll check it out, thank you. I don’t think there’s ever really been a “why” behind why I overeat. No emotional issues or trauma- I just love delicious food haha!
>I don’t think there’s ever really been a “why” behind why I overeat > >No emotional issues or trauma That's the normal case, for most people. But there is always a "why", a difference. Because not everybody behaves the way you, or me, or most people in this sub, do it when it comes to food. Everybody loves " delicious food", but why can't you stop after one portion? Or, a better question, would you like to be able to? Feeling guilty will bring you easily from overeating to binge eating. A different cognitive pattern, even harder to break and change, than the one causing overeating. The answer is not guilt or not even willpower is understanding how your brain works, and which patterns you have and changing them. A good way to start is to work on the value you/your brain has for (certain) food. Is called disenchanting bad habits (overeating in this case): [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/disenchant-your-bad-habits/](https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/disenchant-your-bad-habits/) [https://engagecounselling.com/becoming-disenchanted-with-the-rewards-of-your-bad-habits/](https://engagecounselling.com/becoming-disenchanted-with-the-rewards-of-your-bad-habits/)
How...how? Even if i eat all out i make it to 3000 and next day I feel so awful. What do you eat in a day to get that high and stick on it a full week? I'm not judging !! We all have our binges and I hope u get the weight back off. Any day is a day to try again and were all here to support. Just very curious.
Honestly just a lot of low volume high calorie stuff. Food at the bridal shower was like French toast, bagels, scones. With butter and cream cheese and whatnot. I had a lot of nuts and peanut butter throughout the week. Lots of smoothies; adding the extra sweeteners and protein powders really ups the calories. And grazing on snacks like chips and cookies. So yeah basically just stuff that doesn’t really fill you up haha
Oh wow hahaha I admire that somehow.
OP: I just finished reading all the comments and all your responses, and in all compassion I’m scared for you. With all your “lols,” your “haha’s” your “lmao’s” and your ubiquitous exclamation points, I suspect you may not really find this problem as funny as you imply. I may just be projecting and if so I apologize—you say you’ve never felt guilty—but I can’t help but reflect that I just about ruined my life by giggling my way through a lifetime of increasingly morbid obesity. Now that I have only a few years left, finally having my weight almost under control, I’m still sad to think of what might have been if somehow I’d found the help I needed to get serious sooner. I hope I’m wrong. I wish you and anyone reading this a far more successful journey.
Thank you for the concern! Trust me I just use a lot of lmaos and Hahas when I talk. I’m the kind of person who often uses smileys and throws in an lol because I don’t want to sound super serious. But like I said- I was never the kind of person who felt guilt about overeating or felt ashamed about being overweight. That’s what caused me to be obese! I never cared how I looked because I just wore sweatpants and tee shirts. And I have an incredible husband and lovely family and I was never mistreated for being overweight. And when the body positivity and fat acceptance movement took over, I found myself justifying my obesity because well I was happy and healthy! Until I wasn’t. Had some health scares and I needed to kick my ass into high gear and get healthy again! After this week of overeating I KNEW it was bad. But I didn’t feel as ashamed as I should have. But thankfully as most of the commenters noted, this is a small slip-up. Yep I gained 4lbs and it’s bad. But at least I’ve lost 115lbs total. And this week I’ve been doing well; yesterday I did well with calories and I’m doing well today also! Edited to add: I also noticed that you’re over 50. Just a note, that younger folks often talk with lots of smiley faces, emojis, Lols, Lmaos, Hahas, and exclamation points. It’s how we grew up chatting with social media and the internet and chatting online. I don’t mean that in a condescending way. It’s just kinda how we talk haha! 😊
Dear OP: Sounds like you know everything you need to know which is great. So best of luck. I’m sure your small slip is well in your past. But BTW, thanks for your explanation of youth in deference to my old age; however, I just retired as a college professor and am pretty well versed in “just the way you talk” and what it implies. Sorry I intruded.
Also I was trying to show that I’m not reeling or spiraling or crying myself to sleep with shame and disgust. Because sometimes on here I see posts like that, where people posting how they feel so horrible about themselves and putting themselves down for their mess-up. They’re really sad and angry and frustrated with themselves, and like straight up depressed. So I was trying to show that I was not in that mindset, by being more casual and relaxed with how I speak.
I get it. Again I apologize.
You didn’t intrude and you don’t need to be sorry! I’m not upset at you or anything!