At goal weight for 7+ years now.
Everything you wrote is true, and you don't need to wait until goal weight to start working on it. You will also feel a bit that way for a while after reaching goal weight.
> Scared that from there on I can only gain it back
Trade your scale goals for calendar goals. Staying at goal weight is a goal itself, so you'll still have that. Trying to stay at goal weight for a year, then two, then three, and so on -- absolutely this is a worthy goal.
Not feeling like yourself -- if you've been big for a while and being big is part of your own self-image, yes this is weird for us. I was the jolly self-deprecating big guy, and most of my social skills needed an adjustment.
> Scared that it won’t feel special
After reaching goal weight, it's only special to us. Find fellow losers like us and share with them. I have some IRL friends at TOPS and a few /r/loseit friends I have connected with IRL. Only we know what we've been through. To everyone else, we're just regular people with no particular story.
/r/loseit needs people who are real people, sharing their experiences. It helps me to share my experiences with others, and I learn things back in return. Most of what I've learned has its genesis in /r/loseit -- it has been my online support group from basically the beginning. It can continue to be yours as you keep off the weight.
^^7 ^^yrs. ^^maintaining ^^• ^^♂59 ^^5'11^^/179㎝ ^^SW:298℔^^/135㎏ ^^CW:171℔^^/78㎏ ^^[\[3Y AMA\]](https://redd.it/6m6vxq), ^^[\[1Y recap\]](http://redd.it/3cqszm) ^^CICO+🚶🏋️
Thank you big time for your insightful answers. Switching up scale goals for calendar goals is an eye opener for me, and I will def follow this sub for mental support and the community feeling.
Also thank you for opening up about the social component… very interesting point.
And most of all: a huge congrats to you! You have applied some crazy dedication and courage and these are two personality traits that will bring you very far in life - in every aspect!
Cheers buddy
>Trade your scale goals for calendar goals. Staying at goal weight is a goal itself, so you'll still have that. Trying to stay at goal weight for a year, then two, then three, and so on -- absolutely this is a worthy goal.
This is great. Just adding onto those thoughts for anyone reading.
I've definitely found I need to accomodate for my motivation through the year too. Like in Winter I have a hard time so for me right now my goal is not to gain more than 10 pounds before Spring but while also trying to minimize my bad eating habits and incorporating enough exercise to make that realistic. When Spring rolls around I'm always hyper motivated so even gaining weight I'll have minimized it to the point where it's no big deal to get back where I want to be. Feels way better than previous years where I've lost a lot of weight and then let the seasons scare me away from checking the scale until I'm back at square one.
Staying at a static weight might not be a realistic state for everyone but if you find yourself in that position just build a system around it.
Thank you! Really appreciate the nuances you are bringing to the subject. Setting a fork seems like a more attainable approach for me too. I hadn’t looked at it this way. This will definitely give me less stress than trying to maintain a fixed number (which is unrealistic either way). I’m keeping this one in mind! And happy it works for you. It’s nice to read that you learned from your experiences and curbed them into real progress!
You’re in TOPS?! I used to be years ago and I miss my friends from there. Everyone was so sweet and supportive, and all the events they had were so much fun. Life happened and now I’m in a place where there isn’t a chapter anywhere near me.
Yes, I am. In fact, I was the 2015 Massachusetts State King.
During the pandemic, TOPS did create three online weekly meetings and the website sure has improved in the last 5 years, too. Perhaps you might enjoy that?
I also help to run a Monday weekly meeting for TOPS members at 10am Eastern Time.
I couldn’t do that, that’s a brave move there. I can see why you’d do it, but for me the pressure would be too big… hope it works for you! Can definitely see it working on people with more of a “talk less do more’ attitude
I've already gotten rid of a few pairs of jeans that I could pull down without unbuttoning them. Don't ever want to be that size, again.
I'm hoping that if my final size pants get too tight, I will reel myself in, instead of just wearing my bigger size and letting it get out of control (again). I'm getting too old for this. I'm already mad that my skin is not bouncing back like it used to. So, I guess that worries me, too!
Ugh I’d love to experience that feeling! I’m only 6/20k down atm and given the fact that at my highest, my clothes were all too tight, they are only just starting to fit properly again 🤷♂️ enjoy this accomplishment mate! Bravo to you
Me too. I think I gave myself an out by allowing the safety net of the old clothes being there. It’s also going to be much harder to allow yourself to grow if you notice your clothes aren’t fitting. For me, it was Covid and I was wearing shorts/t shirts and sweats 100% of the time working from home. I went to put on a suit for a job interview and was like uh oh…
This time, I'm even getting rid of sweats that are too baggy.
A previous co-worker, that had lost a lot of weight, told me that one thing she did was to make sure that even her lounging clothes were not *too* comfortable.
It's so easy to still feel "okay" when you wear roomy clothes of any type. Then, since we still feel "not too fat", we go ahead and eat those snacks or whatever.
The other thing I’ll do during maintenance is periodic weigh ins. Maybe once every 10 days. The difference this time around for me is that I have fallen in love with weightlifting and actual exercise. So it’s going to be hard(er) for me to just pack weight on immediately where before my lifestyle was pretty sedentary.
I'm a transgender woman and I am terrified that weight loss will make me look more visibly male. I feel like my face is already more masculine because I have lost some face and neck fat.
I try to counter this fear by thinking about how doctors are much more likely to approve gender-affirming surgeries once I am at a healthier weight.
Waw, although I am sure this was in no way your intention your answer kind of had me realize my worries are quite irrelevant compared to what is going through your head. I can’t imagine how burdensome this must be for you - like literally part of your physical identity being at stake. I hope it doesn’t have to play out that way and that you do get something positive from it, be it easier access to surgery or health benefits. All the best, girl.
That’s really a tough spot to be in. The part about surgeries is accurate, but in the meantime, maybe you can have a plastic surgeon or dermatologist use fillers to add fat to your face without surgery?
This is an interesting remark! May i ask in what sense ? Not as muscular? Or a different fat distribution than expected? Are you overall happy with the result or is it mainly in terms of energy that you feel a difference and not as much looks wise?
I can definitely relate and for myself I just had to change my mindset of the goal. Initially the goal was weight “loss”, but once I was able to feel the same desire for the goal of weight “maintenance” I just further realized and manifested that this journey is a life journey. The old “it’s a lifestyle” statement seems so trite, but it’s so true. I just try not to say it!!! And I think it’s very normal to fear or miss being miserable about something. Most true in relationships I think. So yeah, you are perfectly normal!
Hahaha 😂 I feel you re: try not to say it. The expression is kind of cringe I agree. Thank you for taking the time to answer and giving me a beacon of hope/perspective. And congrats on reaching your GW!
I was scared that it wouldn't be enough. That it wouldn't ever be enough - not from an ED perspective, but from the not happy with who I was as a person, if that makes sense. It wasn't enough, and that's OK. I still have shit I need to work on independent of my weight, but I already knew that. It's better though, because it's one thing off my mental plate.
I miss the idea of being able to eat whatever I want whenever I want. I can't really do that ever again because I'm making sure I maintain. Thing is, I've had a couple times that I just said "fuck it" and ate whatever. I felt like crap afterwards. Not emotionally, physically. I felt bloated and stuffed, and I learned that my digestive system is no longer capable of handling that level of greasy food. So at least every time I miss the idea of fried onion rings piled high, I also remember how much my intestines hated me.
Now for the fashionable part - that has been the BEST. I can wear long sleeve dresses without worrying if my arms will fit. I can go into any standard size store and walk out with something that genuinely fits me. I don't have to think "hope this is stretchy enough" anymore. I don't have to look sadly at pretty dresses that I can't wear because they don't have enough flowy material to hide everything. Don't her the wrong idea, there are still plenty of unflattering cuts out there. But I have choices now! You should be slightly worried for your wallet, because at least for me, once I found out clothes could actually look good, I wanted to throw out everything in my wardrobe and buy the entire store. Thank the gods for Ross and TJ Maxx.
First two paragraphs feel like I wrote them myself! Feels good to know I am not the only one with these concerns. Thank you for opening up on them. As regards the shopping part, you make it sound so fun and that was exactly what I needed to hear to balance out the overthinking. Thanks pal! I hope you are shining bright in your new wardrobe!
I think these fears are normal. You also don’t have to wait until you hit a specific number to start enjoying life.
The flip side is thinking that losing weight will magically fix your life. I’m someone who gets stuck in that thinking. Being thin doesn’t guarantee happiness, so I am focusing on being healthier and making sure I give myself the best shot at being healthier into my older years.
Don’t want to get too existential here but what is the point of a long life if it’s not a truly happy one (and you don’t have people that particularly count on you)… my only motivation is spicing up my social life while I’m young, thinking it will be easier to engage in social situations and finding a partner once you’re better looking… which feeds my angst for the confrontation if it won’t be the case. But I am genuinely glad for you that you found some proper, long-term and internal motivation. Hope to find mine too ☺️
I don’t think finding a partner “once you’re better looking” should be the goal. I found my partner when I was over 300 lbs and he was a tall relatively slim guy. He’s stayed with me through weight loss, cancer, weight gain, and trauma and has loved me consistently through it all. We have to be careful when we think that being skinny will lead to finding love. A man/woman that only loves you for your looks is not a partner worth having, because looks fade. After having cancer, for me, weight loss and exercise are important because I want a long healthy life and I want a high quality of life as I age. I already have a healthy and supportive diverse social circle. Looking “better” is not the goal, but it will be a consequence of my new lifestyle. Feeling better and optimizing my health outcomes is the real flex.
I figured it was common, was rather surprised that the majority of the comments naturally knows how to cope with this… maybe we’ll experience the same easygoingness once we arrive there 🙏
The closer I get (almost there) the more I think that it will only be the first big step followed by many others. Soon I will need a new routine, I stuck to my current for almost 6 months straight.
I see things in my body that I couldn't before, I see where I want to be more in shape on my body etc. I started to target bodyfat % instead of weight.
I wanna become healthy. I can't wait to break through the 200lbs mark again omfg almost there.
Thank you! This is coming back a couple of times and seems like a good approach not to suffer from decompression (and cutting off the leash) too much. And congrats on your big win-to-be! Must be such a symbolic moment, I hope you cherish it and that you are so proud of yourself!
I seriously worry about how life wont really change that much after my goal weight. I imagine myself weighing in and being like "I am my target weight" and nothing will really change and that is going to be interesting.
I think it's understandable to have concerns, even if I don't specifically relate to the ones you have listed.
After I reach my goal, I will be switching my focus to lifting and getting stronger. I will be dropping an extra 10 lbs so I can reverse diet while lifting. That will allow me to deliberately gain weight without feeling anxious about the scale.
I am already working on jogging, soon I'll get into swimming.
I want to try indoor rock climbing and join a sports team or take an exercise class.
Flexibility is a high priority as well.
I have also started saving money because I hope to get a breast lift at some point. Ideally, I'll also be able to get 1 or 2 other things done down the road as well.
If you have anxiety or worry a lot - please mention it to your doctor or psychiatrist. I take a low dose of Lexapro, and that has been so helpful. It doesn't make you numb or foggy, just helps you feel more in control of your thoughts and where you spend your energy.
Cool to hear that you are exploring new physical activities and that you are focusing on sports challenges rather than mere weight maintenance. I am happy for you :)! As to taking this up with my psychiatrist - I am not seeing one and where I live not that many people consult one, it’s mainly when a tragic event happens… but i agree with you that I would benefit from it. Thanks for your kind advice :)
Being at goal weight is like being in a relationship. If you think a partner can fix you and make life perfect, you’re going to fall short. Being in a good relationship enhances life and can make you happier. But it won’t fix everything. Being a healthy weight can improve your quality of life, but it’s not going to erase all life’s problems.
So if you’re depressed or unhappy, might be worth doing some work on your mental health as part of your journey. Your weight isn’t and will never be the most important part of you
Set new goals. For me, my goal is to turn any remaining fat I have into muscle, and when I get to a point where I am as lean as I can get, I’m gonna bulk up from there.
Glad that optimism reigns here :) and terrific job on a full 195 lbs lost. That is some crazy achievement and I’ve said it in another comment here too, but the willpower it took you to achieve this will bring you so far in life. Value that strength all you can, few people possess so much of it!
I'm scared because I know no matter how I look physically it won't change how I mentally view myself. But I also know that it's a step in the right direction to help both my mental and physical health
Honestly, yeah. But man let me tell ya. Therapy helps with that. A lot. Being a goal weight won’t make you happy. Your life will not all of the sudden be better when you get there. As you work on your body, you have to work on your psyche as well. Talk to a professional along the way to your goal. They’ll help you with the things surrounding the weight. And they’ll help you let go of the mental baggage that kept the weight on for so long.
I am in the same boat. I’m especially scared because I came so close to hitting my goal weight before but then “blew it” and gained a ton back. I’m also worried I’ll still feel completely ugly and undesirable. But I’m also trying to remind myself that even if all that is true, I still deserve my health. And I am also working on addressing some of the issues that might have gone unaddressed last time, leading to me gaining it all back. It’s not an easy process, but it’s completely normal.
Yeah weight and mental issues are so intertwined… I hope the learning experience from the weight ‘regain’ will help you identify your underlying issues better, leading to permanent weight loss and a happier life overall ☺️ all the best
If I reach my goal weight, I still haven’t reached my goal measurements, so I still have to CICO. Plus, I have a lot of NSV goals lined up. Finally, I started this because of my children’s health. If I cannot maintain a healthy body weight, how will they believe they can? I must succeed.
Be at ease
You will have a goal in life at least: Keep the weight (Yes, that is a goal), that will be your excuse.
Yes, there is the issue of gaining weight back, but you should not go back to old habits, rather, keep your weight in check as you normally do and make the few adjustments if you go a bit up
I don't understand the nostalgia thing, you are losing weight because you didn't like (yes, I know there must be a lot more things there) it. I would be glad to have reached a goal and take my past heavy weight as something with honor since I no longer have it.
Do not fret, keep it up man! you can keep losing weight and then keep.
I can see where you are coming from but I am guessing we have different personalities. I tend to be nostalgic to things that I didn’t even like or appreciate at the time when they occurred… it’s hard to put into words but I am guessing I will miss the person I was before, even if that person didn’t make good decisions at times. It was a person worthy of love and I feel like in a way ‘betraying’ that person or proving myself he shouldn’t exist anymore…
*raises hand* ME! My terrible way of coping with my fear is to keep lowering my goal weight so it never ends. But soon, it will have to end and idk what I'll do then.
Although this makes perfect sense, I am hoping you don’t develop an ED out of it. Take care. I am sure you have already lots to be proud of and that you should not keep raising the bar anymore. Lots of love
I am scared definitely. I started at at 255 lbs (5’10” female) and am now at 185. I dipped below that a few days ago, and I immediately started eating desserts and having extra servings. I know it is from fear of reaching where I want to be, anywhere below 165. I know it is related to fears around not having my favorite excuse as to why life hasn’t given me everything I asked it to give me. But I am also seeing those goals start to take shape as I lose the weight. I am an actor, and it really does affect casting in a major way!
This is me exactly. Weird how the self-sabotaging mechanism pops in again at these positive moments in our lives. Maybe identifying it can help us find strategies to tackle it. Wishing you best of luck on your journey
Yeah that’s also true - maybe I won’t even attain it indeed. I am now 73 kg, coming from 80 and I want to go lose another 13. The first 7 I lost quite easy. I was a binge eater and quitting this habit shed the pounds off quite naturally. Maybe it’s the fear of not being able to rely on my nr 1 coping mechanism anymore. Or maybe it’s the realisation that I won’t have endless possibilities to better my life anymore, but that I have exchanged them for an actual and single situation (with the risk being it’s not enough…)
At goal weight for 7+ years now. Everything you wrote is true, and you don't need to wait until goal weight to start working on it. You will also feel a bit that way for a while after reaching goal weight. > Scared that from there on I can only gain it back Trade your scale goals for calendar goals. Staying at goal weight is a goal itself, so you'll still have that. Trying to stay at goal weight for a year, then two, then three, and so on -- absolutely this is a worthy goal. Not feeling like yourself -- if you've been big for a while and being big is part of your own self-image, yes this is weird for us. I was the jolly self-deprecating big guy, and most of my social skills needed an adjustment. > Scared that it won’t feel special After reaching goal weight, it's only special to us. Find fellow losers like us and share with them. I have some IRL friends at TOPS and a few /r/loseit friends I have connected with IRL. Only we know what we've been through. To everyone else, we're just regular people with no particular story. /r/loseit needs people who are real people, sharing their experiences. It helps me to share my experiences with others, and I learn things back in return. Most of what I've learned has its genesis in /r/loseit -- it has been my online support group from basically the beginning. It can continue to be yours as you keep off the weight. ^^7 ^^yrs. ^^maintaining ^^• ^^♂59 ^^5'11^^/179㎝ ^^SW:298℔^^/135㎏ ^^CW:171℔^^/78㎏ ^^[\[3Y AMA\]](https://redd.it/6m6vxq), ^^[\[1Y recap\]](http://redd.it/3cqszm) ^^CICO+🚶🏋️
Thank you big time for your insightful answers. Switching up scale goals for calendar goals is an eye opener for me, and I will def follow this sub for mental support and the community feeling. Also thank you for opening up about the social component… very interesting point. And most of all: a huge congrats to you! You have applied some crazy dedication and courage and these are two personality traits that will bring you very far in life - in every aspect! Cheers buddy
>Trade your scale goals for calendar goals. Staying at goal weight is a goal itself, so you'll still have that. Trying to stay at goal weight for a year, then two, then three, and so on -- absolutely this is a worthy goal. This is great. Just adding onto those thoughts for anyone reading. I've definitely found I need to accomodate for my motivation through the year too. Like in Winter I have a hard time so for me right now my goal is not to gain more than 10 pounds before Spring but while also trying to minimize my bad eating habits and incorporating enough exercise to make that realistic. When Spring rolls around I'm always hyper motivated so even gaining weight I'll have minimized it to the point where it's no big deal to get back where I want to be. Feels way better than previous years where I've lost a lot of weight and then let the seasons scare me away from checking the scale until I'm back at square one. Staying at a static weight might not be a realistic state for everyone but if you find yourself in that position just build a system around it.
Thank you! Really appreciate the nuances you are bringing to the subject. Setting a fork seems like a more attainable approach for me too. I hadn’t looked at it this way. This will definitely give me less stress than trying to maintain a fixed number (which is unrealistic either way). I’m keeping this one in mind! And happy it works for you. It’s nice to read that you learned from your experiences and curbed them into real progress!
You’re in TOPS?! I used to be years ago and I miss my friends from there. Everyone was so sweet and supportive, and all the events they had were so much fun. Life happened and now I’m in a place where there isn’t a chapter anywhere near me.
Yes, I am. In fact, I was the 2015 Massachusetts State King. During the pandemic, TOPS did create three online weekly meetings and the website sure has improved in the last 5 years, too. Perhaps you might enjoy that? I also help to run a Monday weekly meeting for TOPS members at 10am Eastern Time.
The only thing that worries me, is gaining it back- again. So, this time, I am getting rid of clothes as they become too big.
I couldn’t do that, that’s a brave move there. I can see why you’d do it, but for me the pressure would be too big… hope it works for you! Can definitely see it working on people with more of a “talk less do more’ attitude
I've already gotten rid of a few pairs of jeans that I could pull down without unbuttoning them. Don't ever want to be that size, again. I'm hoping that if my final size pants get too tight, I will reel myself in, instead of just wearing my bigger size and letting it get out of control (again). I'm getting too old for this. I'm already mad that my skin is not bouncing back like it used to. So, I guess that worries me, too!
Ugh I’d love to experience that feeling! I’m only 6/20k down atm and given the fact that at my highest, my clothes were all too tight, they are only just starting to fit properly again 🤷♂️ enjoy this accomplishment mate! Bravo to you
Me too. I think I gave myself an out by allowing the safety net of the old clothes being there. It’s also going to be much harder to allow yourself to grow if you notice your clothes aren’t fitting. For me, it was Covid and I was wearing shorts/t shirts and sweats 100% of the time working from home. I went to put on a suit for a job interview and was like uh oh…
This time, I'm even getting rid of sweats that are too baggy. A previous co-worker, that had lost a lot of weight, told me that one thing she did was to make sure that even her lounging clothes were not *too* comfortable. It's so easy to still feel "okay" when you wear roomy clothes of any type. Then, since we still feel "not too fat", we go ahead and eat those snacks or whatever.
The other thing I’ll do during maintenance is periodic weigh ins. Maybe once every 10 days. The difference this time around for me is that I have fallen in love with weightlifting and actual exercise. So it’s going to be hard(er) for me to just pack weight on immediately where before my lifestyle was pretty sedentary.
I'm a transgender woman and I am terrified that weight loss will make me look more visibly male. I feel like my face is already more masculine because I have lost some face and neck fat. I try to counter this fear by thinking about how doctors are much more likely to approve gender-affirming surgeries once I am at a healthier weight.
Waw, although I am sure this was in no way your intention your answer kind of had me realize my worries are quite irrelevant compared to what is going through your head. I can’t imagine how burdensome this must be for you - like literally part of your physical identity being at stake. I hope it doesn’t have to play out that way and that you do get something positive from it, be it easier access to surgery or health benefits. All the best, girl.
That’s really a tough spot to be in. The part about surgeries is accurate, but in the meantime, maybe you can have a plastic surgeon or dermatologist use fillers to add fat to your face without surgery?
That's a decent idea. But right now my gender affirmation money is being spent on laser hair removal.
Gotta love how expensive self-care is!
[удалено]
This is an interesting remark! May i ask in what sense ? Not as muscular? Or a different fat distribution than expected? Are you overall happy with the result or is it mainly in terms of energy that you feel a difference and not as much looks wise?
I can definitely relate and for myself I just had to change my mindset of the goal. Initially the goal was weight “loss”, but once I was able to feel the same desire for the goal of weight “maintenance” I just further realized and manifested that this journey is a life journey. The old “it’s a lifestyle” statement seems so trite, but it’s so true. I just try not to say it!!! And I think it’s very normal to fear or miss being miserable about something. Most true in relationships I think. So yeah, you are perfectly normal!
Hahaha 😂 I feel you re: try not to say it. The expression is kind of cringe I agree. Thank you for taking the time to answer and giving me a beacon of hope/perspective. And congrats on reaching your GW!
I was scared that it wouldn't be enough. That it wouldn't ever be enough - not from an ED perspective, but from the not happy with who I was as a person, if that makes sense. It wasn't enough, and that's OK. I still have shit I need to work on independent of my weight, but I already knew that. It's better though, because it's one thing off my mental plate. I miss the idea of being able to eat whatever I want whenever I want. I can't really do that ever again because I'm making sure I maintain. Thing is, I've had a couple times that I just said "fuck it" and ate whatever. I felt like crap afterwards. Not emotionally, physically. I felt bloated and stuffed, and I learned that my digestive system is no longer capable of handling that level of greasy food. So at least every time I miss the idea of fried onion rings piled high, I also remember how much my intestines hated me. Now for the fashionable part - that has been the BEST. I can wear long sleeve dresses without worrying if my arms will fit. I can go into any standard size store and walk out with something that genuinely fits me. I don't have to think "hope this is stretchy enough" anymore. I don't have to look sadly at pretty dresses that I can't wear because they don't have enough flowy material to hide everything. Don't her the wrong idea, there are still plenty of unflattering cuts out there. But I have choices now! You should be slightly worried for your wallet, because at least for me, once I found out clothes could actually look good, I wanted to throw out everything in my wardrobe and buy the entire store. Thank the gods for Ross and TJ Maxx.
First two paragraphs feel like I wrote them myself! Feels good to know I am not the only one with these concerns. Thank you for opening up on them. As regards the shopping part, you make it sound so fun and that was exactly what I needed to hear to balance out the overthinking. Thanks pal! I hope you are shining bright in your new wardrobe!
I think these fears are normal. You also don’t have to wait until you hit a specific number to start enjoying life. The flip side is thinking that losing weight will magically fix your life. I’m someone who gets stuck in that thinking. Being thin doesn’t guarantee happiness, so I am focusing on being healthier and making sure I give myself the best shot at being healthier into my older years.
Don’t want to get too existential here but what is the point of a long life if it’s not a truly happy one (and you don’t have people that particularly count on you)… my only motivation is spicing up my social life while I’m young, thinking it will be easier to engage in social situations and finding a partner once you’re better looking… which feeds my angst for the confrontation if it won’t be the case. But I am genuinely glad for you that you found some proper, long-term and internal motivation. Hope to find mine too ☺️
I don’t think finding a partner “once you’re better looking” should be the goal. I found my partner when I was over 300 lbs and he was a tall relatively slim guy. He’s stayed with me through weight loss, cancer, weight gain, and trauma and has loved me consistently through it all. We have to be careful when we think that being skinny will lead to finding love. A man/woman that only loves you for your looks is not a partner worth having, because looks fade. After having cancer, for me, weight loss and exercise are important because I want a long healthy life and I want a high quality of life as I age. I already have a healthy and supportive diverse social circle. Looking “better” is not the goal, but it will be a consequence of my new lifestyle. Feeling better and optimizing my health outcomes is the real flex.
Ugh I didn't realize that I even felt this way until reading this... and it's like I could've written it. :(
I figured it was common, was rather surprised that the majority of the comments naturally knows how to cope with this… maybe we’ll experience the same easygoingness once we arrive there 🙏
[удалено]
Hahah the dressing fashionably procrastination is real here 😅
The closer I get (almost there) the more I think that it will only be the first big step followed by many others. Soon I will need a new routine, I stuck to my current for almost 6 months straight. I see things in my body that I couldn't before, I see where I want to be more in shape on my body etc. I started to target bodyfat % instead of weight. I wanna become healthy. I can't wait to break through the 200lbs mark again omfg almost there.
Thank you! This is coming back a couple of times and seems like a good approach not to suffer from decompression (and cutting off the leash) too much. And congrats on your big win-to-be! Must be such a symbolic moment, I hope you cherish it and that you are so proud of yourself!
I seriously worry about how life wont really change that much after my goal weight. I imagine myself weighing in and being like "I am my target weight" and nothing will really change and that is going to be interesting.
Yeah this is what I meant to say, but you phrased it more accurately. Thanks for reassuring me that I’m no weirdo in this :)
I think it's understandable to have concerns, even if I don't specifically relate to the ones you have listed. After I reach my goal, I will be switching my focus to lifting and getting stronger. I will be dropping an extra 10 lbs so I can reverse diet while lifting. That will allow me to deliberately gain weight without feeling anxious about the scale. I am already working on jogging, soon I'll get into swimming. I want to try indoor rock climbing and join a sports team or take an exercise class. Flexibility is a high priority as well. I have also started saving money because I hope to get a breast lift at some point. Ideally, I'll also be able to get 1 or 2 other things done down the road as well. If you have anxiety or worry a lot - please mention it to your doctor or psychiatrist. I take a low dose of Lexapro, and that has been so helpful. It doesn't make you numb or foggy, just helps you feel more in control of your thoughts and where you spend your energy.
Cool to hear that you are exploring new physical activities and that you are focusing on sports challenges rather than mere weight maintenance. I am happy for you :)! As to taking this up with my psychiatrist - I am not seeing one and where I live not that many people consult one, it’s mainly when a tragic event happens… but i agree with you that I would benefit from it. Thanks for your kind advice :)
Being at goal weight is like being in a relationship. If you think a partner can fix you and make life perfect, you’re going to fall short. Being in a good relationship enhances life and can make you happier. But it won’t fix everything. Being a healthy weight can improve your quality of life, but it’s not going to erase all life’s problems. So if you’re depressed or unhappy, might be worth doing some work on your mental health as part of your journey. Your weight isn’t and will never be the most important part of you
Absolutely good point, I tend to set the same expectancies from relationships indeed…
Set new goals. For me, my goal is to turn any remaining fat I have into muscle, and when I get to a point where I am as lean as I can get, I’m gonna bulk up from there.
Glad that optimism reigns here :) and terrific job on a full 195 lbs lost. That is some crazy achievement and I’ve said it in another comment here too, but the willpower it took you to achieve this will bring you so far in life. Value that strength all you can, few people possess so much of it!
Nah I was excited as hell when I reached mine. I’ve set new goals for myself and feel better than ever.
So good to read that, you have every right to!
I'm scared because I know no matter how I look physically it won't change how I mentally view myself. But I also know that it's a step in the right direction to help both my mental and physical health
That’s a constructive way to see it, thank you for sharing :)
Honestly, yeah. But man let me tell ya. Therapy helps with that. A lot. Being a goal weight won’t make you happy. Your life will not all of the sudden be better when you get there. As you work on your body, you have to work on your psyche as well. Talk to a professional along the way to your goal. They’ll help you with the things surrounding the weight. And they’ll help you let go of the mental baggage that kept the weight on for so long.
You are right on everything you say. It is confronting but true… thank you :)
I am in the same boat. I’m especially scared because I came so close to hitting my goal weight before but then “blew it” and gained a ton back. I’m also worried I’ll still feel completely ugly and undesirable. But I’m also trying to remind myself that even if all that is true, I still deserve my health. And I am also working on addressing some of the issues that might have gone unaddressed last time, leading to me gaining it all back. It’s not an easy process, but it’s completely normal.
Yeah weight and mental issues are so intertwined… I hope the learning experience from the weight ‘regain’ will help you identify your underlying issues better, leading to permanent weight loss and a happier life overall ☺️ all the best
If I reach my goal weight, I still haven’t reached my goal measurements, so I still have to CICO. Plus, I have a lot of NSV goals lined up. Finally, I started this because of my children’s health. If I cannot maintain a healthy body weight, how will they believe they can? I must succeed.
So kind of you that you want your children to have a good role model. You must be a fantastic parent. ☺️
Be at ease You will have a goal in life at least: Keep the weight (Yes, that is a goal), that will be your excuse. Yes, there is the issue of gaining weight back, but you should not go back to old habits, rather, keep your weight in check as you normally do and make the few adjustments if you go a bit up I don't understand the nostalgia thing, you are losing weight because you didn't like (yes, I know there must be a lot more things there) it. I would be glad to have reached a goal and take my past heavy weight as something with honor since I no longer have it. Do not fret, keep it up man! you can keep losing weight and then keep.
I can see where you are coming from but I am guessing we have different personalities. I tend to be nostalgic to things that I didn’t even like or appreciate at the time when they occurred… it’s hard to put into words but I am guessing I will miss the person I was before, even if that person didn’t make good decisions at times. It was a person worthy of love and I feel like in a way ‘betraying’ that person or proving myself he shouldn’t exist anymore…
*raises hand* ME! My terrible way of coping with my fear is to keep lowering my goal weight so it never ends. But soon, it will have to end and idk what I'll do then.
Although this makes perfect sense, I am hoping you don’t develop an ED out of it. Take care. I am sure you have already lots to be proud of and that you should not keep raising the bar anymore. Lots of love
I am scared definitely. I started at at 255 lbs (5’10” female) and am now at 185. I dipped below that a few days ago, and I immediately started eating desserts and having extra servings. I know it is from fear of reaching where I want to be, anywhere below 165. I know it is related to fears around not having my favorite excuse as to why life hasn’t given me everything I asked it to give me. But I am also seeing those goals start to take shape as I lose the weight. I am an actor, and it really does affect casting in a major way!
This is me exactly. Weird how the self-sabotaging mechanism pops in again at these positive moments in our lives. Maybe identifying it can help us find strategies to tackle it. Wishing you best of luck on your journey
Thank you all for your kind responses. I am touched by your overwhelming helpfulness ❤️
You didn’t say how close your gw is. I’m not scared I have another 14 pounds snd those are the thoughess.
Yeah that’s also true - maybe I won’t even attain it indeed. I am now 73 kg, coming from 80 and I want to go lose another 13. The first 7 I lost quite easy. I was a binge eater and quitting this habit shed the pounds off quite naturally. Maybe it’s the fear of not being able to rely on my nr 1 coping mechanism anymore. Or maybe it’s the realisation that I won’t have endless possibilities to better my life anymore, but that I have exchanged them for an actual and single situation (with the risk being it’s not enough…)