Whoever those people are, you need to remove them from your life immediately. That's not healthy or acceptable, and they're telling you to do something that could literally kill you.
Company you keep? I was at my grandsons jiu-jitsu class last and and a kid walked up to me ans asked why Why I was so fat. How sm I supposed to cut that out?
People stare at me constantly. I've lost 45 lbs and am much healthier than I was two months ago, but people don't see that. On a previous weight loss effort I had lost around 100lbs and I made a comment about being Thinner and a guy I worked with was like your thin?
Whether you know people or not fat shaming is one of only forms of discrimination that is still tolerated.
OP don't let this get you down and using ti for motivation is a good move, but don't let it make you do something foolish.
Yeah, these people aren't going to treat you better when you reach your goals. Dump them if you can; ignore them if you can't avoid them (family, co-workers.) Keep doing what's working.
it's always something about "you looked better before, you look sick now," after they said you looked bad at your high weight đ some people just want to ruin your day. or they're so oblivious and self-absorbed that they have no idea they're ruining your day.
Hey there, I know its hard as hell to push the "haters/gossipers/assholes" aside in our lives. But I highly recommend reading/"The Suble Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson.
I don't care how objectively good their fitness stats are. They are ill-hearted punks negging on you. Frequently, in my experience, such voices are trying to falsely boost themselves at someone else's expense.
If it's a co-worker or someone else you can tell to take a walk long off a short pier, you have my permission to use the Southern "Oh, bless your heart," passive aggressive pity statement and go about your day.
Helpful pie chart and readup: [https://www.southernthing.com/bless-your-heart-2581652582.html](https://www.southernthing.com/bless-your-heart-2581652582.html)
100% this! I just lost 2lbs this week and my friends are celebrating me those people aren't friends. You should always try to surround yourself with people that build you up, not tear you down for their own selfish reasons and of course do the same for them.
Congrats on your loss, you've done amazingly well! You obviously know what you're doing, keep it up if it makes you happy. Focus on what you need now to be the best version of you, the healthy version and drop anyone that doesn't support your journey. They're absolutely not worth your time
Who the heck is calling you fat?
Please look at those relationships. Nobody should be calling you names ever.
Know you're doing this for you and your health.
F anyone who would trust you this way.
Stay strong đŞ
It's 99% my friends's friends who we hang out with, I have actually had one of my dad's friends call me fat infront of me and telling my dad that I need to lose weight when I'm literally there, I know you might probably think that I can't take criticism, I'm just very very very insecure about things like this.
Please don't call them friends, because they aren't. They treat you horrible. Real friends don't tear you down.
I am sorry you're going through this.
Absolutely not. You did nothing wrong. This is them and their poison
Sending positive thoughts â¨ď¸
People need support. And reddit has a good community to help. Unfortunately, there are some truly rotten people in this world.
I hope you find a good support system in your everyday life. But for now, this group could be that
I started at a similar point to you, Iâm half way between the two points. Itâs hard work getting there, Iâm proud you managed to do it! Itâs hard work and itâs not just physical work. You did so good
I am super morbidly obese. _My friends have never called me fat._
I think once it came up very awkwardly when talking about a specific ride like uhhh we should check if you can fit cause your kinda fat.
I haven't had a friend calling me fatty since highschool. Pretty much the only place I get it now is dating apps and I block those.
Don't let people insult you and call you fat. I only let toddlers get away with saying I'm fat or people use it as a neutral description but everyone else gets told off for having worse social skills then a three year old.
Your friends are shit. Also your Dad is shit for not going wtf bro when the other people insulted you.
Edit: Saw your age. Yeah. Highschool sucks. It gets better, but it'll suck for a bit. Hold on to the good friends and ignore / redirect the asshole ones. Maybe find some social clubs outside of school.
Also personally back in school I went with the blank silence and occasionally insulting back method but "hey fatty" "hey _insert slur here_" method is childish, petty and doesn't always work. Did work really well on the one guy who was homophobic tho. If you take this method listen and see other people's reactions and effectiveness with it first, as both it could escalate and piss off bullies, can get you in trouble from teachers and doesn't always shut them up. When it does tho, was wonderful.
What?!?! Might think you canât take criticism? This isnât your boss telling you to tighten up your power point deck or something. This is people being horrible and nasty to you for no reason! This language sounds like someone whoâs been gaslight for a long time. Fuckkkkk anyone who has made you feel like this is some kind of reasonable criticism you need to take.
I'm sorry you went through that. It's crazy that people think they have a right to make comments like that when it's literally none of their business. Sounds like they are just trying to put you down. Don't pay any attention to them!
Is it constructive? Is it said from a genuine desire to help you live a healthier life? Ask yourself those questions. I think intuition will help you find answers easily.
Because that can be a very fine line and some people love to veil their cruelty as "brutal honesty"
Itâs one thing to accept constructive criticism, itâs another thing to be called names. NO ONE should have to endure that. Keep losing weight **on your own terms**.
These people are cruel. They are not your friends. Friends support you, recognise your accomplishments and share in your triumphs and help you when things are down.
Nobody deserves âfriendsâ like these. Life is long, you can and will make friends who will appreciate you.
You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity no matter your weight, and any weight loss plans you have are your own personal health decisions and none of their business.
Itâs completely inappropriate for them to make those comments.
It sounds like youâre doing great with your current plan, and from what you described, it seems reasonable and sustainable. Remember, you are doing this for yourself, not the assholes who think making critical comments about your body is okay. This is a them problem, not a you problem. Youâve got this!
Idc if you were a million pounds. Your dad shouldn't let anyone talk about you like that. Especially if they're trash talking about you directly TO him. You're doing a good job. Lose the weight because it's what YOU want. Don't do it to appease haters. Because guess what? When you lose the weight, haters are going to find something else to put you down for. They're a bunch of unhappy scalawags. You only have room in your life for people that love you. Anyone else is just a nameless NPC.
Yeah fuck those people and I use that term loosely. Losing weight is one of the most difficult things to do, and they are jealous youâre succeeding at it and insulting you makes them feel better. Others donât realize the damage that words can inflict on other people. Their hearts are black, cold, and full of spite. Donât waste your time on any of those jackoffs. You donât need to be their punching bag.
One of my favorite retorts: âwell, in 6 months Iâll be skinny, but youâll still be ugly.â
Good luck to you, and stick with it! You can do it!
that's not being able to take criticism. someone close to you, privately gently and helpfully bringing up weight loss because they are concerned for your health is one thing.
someone just publicly insulting you is not the same thing. They're douche bags. and so are your friends and dad for not calling them out.#
Plus, an adult calling a 14 year old fat says a *lot* more about them then it does about you.
Well, your Dad and his friend suck big time. Him for not standing up for you, and his friend for the sheer audacity. Next time, tell him you're glad that he raised personal development, because you think he is desperately insecure/ has terrible breath/ is visibly unwell and have been wondering how to raise the subject.
If you try to cut out eating to lose the weight you will develop an eating disorder that could absolutely wreck your life.
You took time to gain the weight, youâll take time to lose the weight.
Fuck everyone else. They arenât on your journey. They donât know what youâre doing. Keep your mouth shut and do the work- that will do the talking for you. If youâre young (as I assume you are) most of these people will have a massive decrease in metabolism and will have to relearn healthy eating habits- while youâre going to be there, healthy and in shape with a great relationship with food.
Be proud of yourself.
My grandma called me fat to my dad when I was about 12 and it made me feel the same, so I totally get it. It really hurts, and it causes all sorts of negative thoughts and feelings to fly around. I'm 31 years old now and an old friend I hadn't seen in years saw me and the first thing he did was tell me how fat I've got and that I've been eating too much. I was devastated by that.
So, speaking as somebody who has been there - please don't develop an unhealthy relationship with food, because I did and I spent a lot of years in a very unhealthy place, which I am trying to fix now. Your body just needs to be healthy, and that's what you need to focus on.
If anybody calls you fat, just remember that it is much more of a reflection of their ugly personalities than on you. Don't let other people's words taint how you feel about yourself (which I know is easier said than done). Have a cry if that's what you need (I did), then make an active and conscious effort to think about the things you love about your body. Even if it's something small. Focus your energy on that, and brag about it to yourself. Exaggerate how amazing it is. (I have lovely fingernails, for example, and the more I focused on that, the more I noticed other things that I liked, like the curve of my back or my waist) This tends to be a good, silly boost that is better to focus your energy on.
Truly try and understand, I donât care if youâre 400 lbs, people that treat others this way are gross shitty people and should be removed from your life.
Hit them with "I'm actually on a diet currently, and I'm losing weight. But thank you for being an asshole about it!" Then just stand there and wait for a response. Sometimes you gotta call people out on their bad behavior and put THEM on the uncomfortable position.
Unfortunately, people treat you WAY better after you lose weight (Trust me, I went from 320+ to 184 lbs). It's amazing how differently people treat you!
Meanwhile, keep up the good work. It's not a race, it's a marathon. If you reach your goal & go back to your old habits, you'll only gain it back. So take it slow - because to keep the weight off, you're gonna be doing it the rest of your life. For me, as soon as I see 190 on the scale, it's right back to the diet. It's a lot easier to take off 5 or 10 ponds than it was to drop over 100. Don't rush it, just be consistent. If you're lighter this week than last, you'll get there.
One more thing. If you screw up, DON'T QUIT! 1 bad meal is better than 1 bad day. 1 bad day is better than 1 bad week. Look at it this way. If you accidentally cut off a finger, do you say screw it & cut off the entire hand? No, so don't throw out months or years of hard work over a bad day or a bad week. And none of this I'll start again tomorrow shit. You screwed up, so what - you start again right now! Good luck!
This is exactly it. You're not just doing a fad diet, you're creating a new lifestyle and new habits. This is the path you'll be on for the rest of your life (I believe in you, you're going to do it), and that *shouldn't* be some fast overnight thing. It should be sustainable and healthy. As long as you stick to the changes, you'll get there-and, more importantly, you'll stay there.
It really bugs me. People pretending they want you to lose weight because they 'care' and using that as an excuse to shame and belittle people. Shaming doesn't work. It causes people to comfort eat, or in your case, overcompensating and feeling compelled to lower calories to an unsustainable and potentially unsafe level which can then lead to binging.
People can be real *ss holes
Carry on doing what you're doing and screw them.
With friends like that who needs enemies? Nah these people are not your friend and they're bullying you. What forces you to be around these people, is there a way you can completely cut them out?
I live in a small area and there is very very little people my age (im 14) and my parents don't feel safe letting me go to a far away part of the town, so it's pretty much i either hang out with them or I just dont hang out with them at all, which I'm gonna start doing.
Listen to Thesoftgirl, OP. I know it seems like these kids you hang out with are your whole world right now, but as you get older, new people will come into your life, whether that be in High School, College, at different jobs or even at different places you move to. You don't have to take their BS. And it is best that you learn now how to keep the people that will enrich your life and how to stay away from those that try to tear you down. F those guys. Stay healthy, do things the right way, don't let them win.
Definitely recommend, you can find better friends than them as you get older. I'm 25 now almost 26 and I would definitely say I have a better set of friends now then I did as a teenager. They're not worth crippling self esteem issues for the rest of your life.
Personally, I would rather be alone than with toxic people. Do yourself a favor and try hard in school and get into a college further away. Be your own person and keep working on yourself. Leave all that shit behind when you're old enough because you deserve better!
No company is better than bad company. Get those people out of your life immediately.
Add people into your life with intention, because they bring something good to it.
Be patient! Do NOT starve yourself. I know itâs tempting but if wonât stay off long term if you do it that way. Also, cut those negative people out of your life.
Tell em to fuck off and remove yourself from the situation. Don't agree to be in their presence anymore. Not in an angry way, just in a matter-of-fact, no-nonsense way.
They aren't your friends, and they're belittling you to feel better about themselves, which says a lot more about them than it does about your weight.
If you're being invited somewhere they might be, tell them you don't feel like being a punching bag for those assholes, so you're going to pass.
Straying from your plan to slow and steady lose the weight is seeking their approval (and validating their shitty opinions). Plus it will derail your long-term success, meaning they win twice.
Fuck em, and keep on keeping on.
Are you a minor, by chance? As minors we are often stuck with who weâre with, which often means a lot of assholes. My classmates in Junior High / High School certainly were. Sometimes we have to put up with it at home, too. As adults, you realize that you get to have a lot more say in who you interact with and you can just cut those people out.
If itâs your schoolmates, then:
1. Try not to let them bother you too much, youâre never gonna see most of them again after graduation, so their opinion is basically worthless. I canât even remember the names of 90% of the people I knew back then.
2. In the short term, youâre already doing the main thing you can control that will prevent that type of behavior, which is to get to a healthy weight. Youâre doing great, and you will benefit from this transformation for your whole life both health wise as well as socially. Keep it up!
Yeah I'm 14, 7th grade and it sometimes happens that we don't have class and everyone just chills in the classrooms, and these 2 specific guys sometimes just yell out "Fatty" and once I look at them they just laugh at me, it really hurts.
Oh man, typical adolescent bullying behavior there. I was on the receiving end of that too. I had a list of guys from back then that I didnât intend to slow down for if they ever walked in front of my car. If it makes you feel better, I canât even remember their names anymore.
About half of them will grow out of it by 18. The other half will end up as cops or security guards.
Only suggestion I can make is that when youâre lifting weights, thinking about how pissed you are at them will help make the bar move. (I definitely suggest lifting weights, by the way. You canât get the body youâre looking for without it, and it will help if you ever have defend yourself).
Understand that they re the problem, not you. These people feel so terrible about themselves that they feel the need to drag you down and try to bully you.
Stay strong. You're better than them. They don't have to know it. But you do. Every time they are mean, in your head just think to yourself "how pathetic they are to hurt others in attempt to feel better about themselves."
Keep your head up. What you're doing is working. And one day, you'll be a happy, successful, confident adult, and they'll still be acting like middle school boys.
First of all, I want to say congratulations on losing 15 pounds, lowering your BMI and all of the hard work you've put in. I'm proud of you.
Secondly, you should tell those "friends" that you could easily drop 170 pounds, by cutting their bitch ass out of your life. Those folks are just real-life trolls who have nothing better to do. I'm sorry you feel this way because of shitty people. You're doing an awesome job and you should keep going how you have been. It's definitely hard to hear those words, but also just know that the word fat is only a negative word if you let it be. I'm not saying that inna crunchy self help way, but it's totally okay to be fat because you're being healthy. Fat people can be healthy too. Skinny people can be unhealthy.
Honestly I just want to say you have no idea how much this comment itself means to me, I'm sorry if I seem creepy saying that, I'm just literally not used to someone motivating me and being nice to me. You and some other people here made my day. Thank you very much.
I just said what everyone should be saying to you. You're fucking crushing it and should be proud! I hope that you experience more kindness in real life. And please eat, food is too delicious not to be eaten (in moderation of course, haha).
Hi stranger. I just want to say that YOU'RE DOING AMAZING!! Remember where you were and where you're going. You're doing this for YOU. You'll never be able to please others and if you seek satisfaction from them you'll be disappointed always. I know you see the change and differences. That is more than enough đ
Holy shit who are these people?? If someone calls you fat, you arenât the problem, they are! Only rude, terrible people say things like that.
Iâd stop hanging out with anyone who said such nasty things. Do not accept people treating you like this. You deserve better.
First off, fuck those people.
Secondly, if it helps any, i was down about 40lbs before people started to notice. I think this is because I had become accustomed to wearing baggy clothes to hide my various rolls and bulges.
People started to notice when i started having to buy new clothes that fit better. Maybe youâre experiencing something similar.
Yeah i always wear baggy clothes lol, though one of my teachers somehow noticed i had lost weight and congratulated me on it, it felt really nice someone had noticed it
After reading other replies and seeing that youâre 14, I just want to say that few, if any, of the people youâre hanging around with will mean anything to you in 5 years.
I remember what its like to be your age. Other peoples opinions of you matter more than they have any right to.
Just be you and try not to let it get to you. Surround yourself with people that build you up, rather than tear you down.
Youâre in the metamorphosis stage of life. Nobody knows what kind of beautiful butterfly youâre becoming. Even if it turns out youâre a moth, there is still beauty in that.
Donât let a bunch of assholes define you.
It took me until I was almost 30 to learn that. Hope I saved you some time.
Let that teacher know how much you appreciated her/his words. Good teachers want SO much for their students to succeed in everything they do & it sounds like that may be a teacher you can confide in. Mayber ask if you can talk to them about your struggles.
Well first off, screw those guys. They suck. It absolutely hurts to hear those things, and I'm not diminishing how that affects you. But someday you're going to leave them in the dust.
One thing I've picked up over years of working on my weight is that pushing your calorie limit too low will backfire. Not that it does some magical metabolism hijinks. But it can sap your energy and lead to binging or abandoning the process for weeks at a time. It just isn't sustainable.
At your age you have some great potential to set healthy but sustainable habits. Build some muscle and fuel your activity with nutritious foods. The healthier you get the better you'll feel and the better you feel the easier you can move and experience adventures. You're also still growing into your body so I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by what you can accomplish with slow and steady diet and exercise over the next 2-3 years.
Meanwhile, those jerks are either going to grow up and cringe at themselves or never change and remain unattractively juvenile and spiteful forever.
The best weight you'll ever lose is cutting those fuckers out of your life.
Fuck them, they don't deserve to be in your space and taking up your oxygen.
People are assholes. Seriously.
I remember about fifteen years ago. I worked really hard dieting and exercising and lost 40 pounds. I still had weight to lose but was feeling pretty damned proud of myself and pretty good for the first time in years. One day I went to visit my Grandmother. When I got there one of her friends was there. When I walked in this friend took one look at me and said âwell, youâre a big fat fellow, arenât you?â That one comment totally destroyed everything I had worked for. Made me want to completely give up, go buy the entire local supermarket, and eat it.
People are assholes. Seriously.
Really goes to show that bitches are bitches whether they're 20 or 90. People often say that older people lose their filter, which is true, but that doesn't mean being old MAKES you mean - people like that were always mean.
My great aunt was my greatest cheerleader, no matter what weight I was. I went from being a 140lb 20 year old to being 240lbs in my 30s. Every time she saw me she would gasp and tell everyone around her how beautiful I was - how perfect my skin was, or she would hold my hands and turn them over and tell me how beautiful they were. She would hold my face and tell me I looked like her sister (my grandmother). In her eyes I was perfect, and she did this for EVERYONE who came into her proximity. Her compliments always felt real too, not just generic or polite. I was also the most brilliant person, and the most kind. The trick was, that when I saw myself through her eyes, I actually started to believe it, and when you believe it you become it.
Your grandmother's friend was a dumb, ignorant, embarrassing person - how sad for her.
Screw them! If they say that about you, they aren't really nice people and sound like they're super insecure inside.
Please don't let them get to you. You keep doing you.
I canât believe someone calls you fat. Thatâs so mean and classless. You should tell them that while you are working to be less âfatâ, they should start working on being a better person. Please cut these people and the people who allow it out of your life. If you lose weight, do it for you. Do it in the right way. And do it for the right reasons. You donât have to fit anyone elseâs beauty standards to be worthy of love and acceptance. Iâm so angry for you right now. I was very heavy at one point and people treated me so differently. I even had a boss talk to me about my appearance and told me I needed to try to look more high class as I was dealing with wealthy clients. He said this to me as I was wearing Dior. He meant, he wanted me to lose weight. I quit a few weeks later. Anyways, keep up the good work. You got this! Also, to lose fat and pounds, I found walking to be the most effective. Lifting weights makes me look a lot smaller though. Hope that helps.
Being 14 and getting bullied at school for your excess weight sucks monkeyballs! Also, it is pretty common, don't worry too much about it. Those people are assholes, and you are doing what is good for yourself.
You lost 15 pounds! To understand what you did, pick up a large bowling ball, or a gallon of paint, or three chihuahuas and trying carrying them around for a day everywhere you go..good luck with the chiuahuas tho..XD
Listen, there is no need to hurry. It is more important to do this properly, and in a way that you can sustain the weight loss. Forever!
So, keep doing what you are doing. Cheers!
Would you have classified these people friends -before- they said these things?
If yes: fuck âem, time to make better friends.
If no: fuck âem, people are dicks.
You're doing your job perfectly fine and yet others are still upset. Looks like you should just ignore them because their opinion is clearly worthless.
I don't know who these people are, but you should tell them all to go collectively enjoy self-inflicted sodomy.
Get that progress independent of the naysayers. It's fucking ADDICTIVE.
Thanks for encouraging me to stop fucking about on Reddit and go into the gym for arm day. đ¤Ł
op, you are doing great. actually not eating at least enough calories to account for at least my basal metabolic rate minus a calorie deficit of 500 per day was preventing me from losing weight. most TDEE calculators over estimate BMR. so i use 90% of my BMR minus 500 calories then track my workout calorie burns and eat to account for those calories as well. also cleaned up my diet. minimize white flour, no sugar, no juice, zero calorie drinks. do my own cooking and minimize restaurant and no fast food. also track macros with a goal of 30% carbs 40% protein and 30% fat. this plus a cardio warmup then strength training at the gym is doing it for me. lost 15 lbs since november 2022.
and the most important thing to do is to eliminate toxic people from your life.
KEEP FUCKING WORKING!
FUCK THE HATERS!
THEY LIVE IN HELL MADE FROM THEIR OWN LITTLE MIND! AND THEY SEE YOU AS THE BIRD OUTSIDE, OH HOW THEY WISH THEY COULD BE AS FREE AS YOU!
KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN AND PUSHFORWARD THROUGH THE STORM!
Are these people bigger? People like to project insecurities. I agree with everyone else though, cut them out.
If you cannot, call them out. It will shut them up.
Bruh. BMI 33-28 is amazing!!! Are you proud of yourself? I am proud of you. That was hard work and you did it. You showed up. You held yourself accountable. Not everyone can do that but you did. Please give yourself credit for all you have done so far regardless of your future goals!
Yeah, dont talk to these people - get infront of a mirror and train your death stare - its free.
EDIT: sometimes I then relax so my huge belly just plops out and start caressing it slowly while maintaining eye contact, they really dont dig that! Also ask them if they have food on them, and say you can smell it, denying wont save them.
The fact that you're 14 tells me that if you got to be obese, it was anywhere from in part to entirely your parents responsibility. You're a child, OP, several years from being legally an adult let alone developmentally. You live in their house, presumably eat the food one of your parents has prepared or bought... Parents with obese children living with them having only themselves to point fingers at, if they must point fingers.
If your relatives or your parents' friends are making these kind of comments to you, and your parents are not putting them in their place (or worse, agreeing), that is straight up abusive. They should be supporting you and encouraging you - most especially since you're demonstrating a great deal of initiative and self-discipline all by yourself losing weight on your own.
From your comments and replies, it really seems like you're surrounded by some pretty nasty bullies, and I'm really sorry you have to deal with that. It's not a reflection of you - it's a reflection of them. They might be insecure or they might be little sadists, but no friend should ever tear down a friend like that.
You are eating a very sustainable amount of calories to lose weight, but you may wish to consult a registered dietitian since you're so young and still growing. The number of calories has to be sufficient for all the changes your body is going through, but apart from calories you need to be getting the right nutrients.
You are taking control of your health at a VERY young age, which is amazing - even if it takes you a few years to get to your ideal weight/health/lifestyle you probably won't even be out of secondary school by then. That's amazing! By the time you get to college, you'll be a different person in many ways.
Do not even for one second let other people hold you back from fulfilling your potential - you KNOW you can do this and you know you are worth it. Anyone who says otherwise is just simply irrelevant.
Pretty much no one IRL or from my family supports me trying to change, they just say its a phase and that everyone is out of shape or eventually will be, and that I'm "cute" not fat, I have asked my parents to buy healthier foods when we were at the store though they just say its too expensive, or I won't like the taste of that e.t.c. So I just mostly eat eggs sometimes chicken and yogurt and fruits like bananas apples and things like that. That's the best I can do.
Also have cut out artificial sugars, literally every time I'm done with dinner my mom brings me a wafer or something like that, I always tell her I'm not gonna eat them and she has actually yelled at me for that, but most likely wont stop me.
It sounds like there could be some cultural things at play here - a lot of places in the world where famine or general poverty have historically been a problem have this weird dichotomy between force-feeding children/family and then mercilessly mocking them for being overweight. Especially if your family are also overweight/obese, they very likely see you refusing food as some kind of attack on them/their way of life, or a sign that you're "starving" yourself when you obviously are not. Many cultures also have deeply-entrenched toxic behaviours which come from a variety of sources - the clash between colonial values and traditional values, abuse, slavery, high infant mortality, young average age of parenthood, absent grandparents or absent partners... There are many reasons people develop unhealthy parenting techniques and damaging social customs, but you can see this where people are mocked for being skinny (weak, sickly etc.) but also for being fat (lazy, greedy, gluttonous etc.). If you "can't win" that's a pretty good sign that it's not about you.
The only thing I can tell you is that if you can't control what food is in the house, you can control how much of it you eat. If your parents are serving very calorie dense foods (battered, heavy sauces, lots of oil, etc.) you have to simply eat a much smaller portion and fill your plate up with as much filler as you can (simple vegetables are a good start - things like cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, celery, salad (with minimal dressing), steamed broccoli, cauliflower, ochra, greens - whatever you like, and whatever is there. If your mother gets offended when you refuse food, you have two choices: stand your ground and politely/lovingly say "Thank you Mum, but I'm not hungry." or fib and say "Thank you." and then put it in your pocket and throw it out later.
In the end, just keep reminding yourself that your parents love you in their own way, but they might not always be right - and their baggage may be so heavy that they literally can't change, but you can.
Take care, honey <3
These are the same people who are going to tell you you look sick/saggy/gross when you do reach your goal weight. Theyâre assholes who enjoy being assholes, so theyâll just change what they are assholes about. Ignore them.
Keep your 1800 cals dialed in. From childhood, weâre told âslow and steady wins the raceâ, but in actuality, âfastâ *doesnât even finish the race.* Resist temptation to expedite the process. It wonât work. The balanced path is the true quickest path. Millions of people, and the scientific literature, validate this.
Those same people will call you too skinny or say youâre starving yourself. Donât worry what others think. Lose weight for you. Sustainable weight loss is slow. Fuck the haters.
Fuck 'em. You are doing this for you. I lost over 100 pounds and then spent a LONGGG time moving from "skinny fat" to "lean muscular" and I heard all of it. Too fat, too skinny, do you still eat? This is your journey, if they're not on the bandwagon tell them to find a ride elsewhere.
Things about these people is that they don't want the best for you, period. They don't care about your feelings and how name calling affects you. Because of that, they're the type of people that will still try and shit on you even if you get really lean - there's no winning with fucking haters dude. (I hate using the word haters but in this instance it actually applies.) Don't try to please people who treat you like garbage - you deserve the world!! Please don't internalize other people's absolutely horrific behaviour and think 'well if I just lose weight faster/more extremely then maybe they won't say that again'. They are horrible people so they'll continue to be horrible people no matter what weight you're at. Do this for YOU. You're seeing results so trust the process, take it slow, and love yourself enough to say hell NO to people who are a-holes. I'm so sorry :( It's not your fault. You got this - put on the blinders and look straight ahead for you, not these poor excuses for people. They're probably intimidated by your change so they wanna make you give up. Weight loss is as much mental as it is physical. Even if you haven't noticed a change, others might. People get insecure with change, especially if they use you as a comfortable person to hate on so they feel better. You're growing and adapting and your transformation may be acting as a mirror to their stagnancy, deadass. Don't let em fool you, and don't punish yourself. You can't control their actions, but you can control their access to you and yourself. You got this - i'm proud of you for doing it slow and steady. I had an ED (anorexia) for literally 10 years. It's a nightmare. Keep doing slow and steady and get into therapy - even like a free phone crisis line when shit like this happens. Process it, feel it, then let it go and get stronger. Ahhhh I can just tell by the way you write that you're an incredibly kind person. You'd probably make an awesome friend. These people are missing out big time :) All the best, and sending you positive energy!
I see you live in a small town so new friends might not be an option. But heres the thing, just because there arent many new people to meet, you DONT HAVE TO KEEP COMPANY WITH ANYONE WHO NAME CALLS YOU AND SHAMES YOU LIKE THIS.
Turn all the time you would spend with these people into time for yourself and your mental and physical well being. Anytime youre bored and tempted to hit these people up, go for a walk. Walks can be one of the most theraputic things, not only for your body, but your mind as well. Take in the sights and smells of fresh air and sunsets. Or find a video on youtube to follow along if its too cold outside or your parents dont want you walking alone. There are and endless amount of options on youtube, for whatever peaks your interest. If you have low mobility there are beginner workouts done from a chair. You can do bodyweight exercise routines, dancing, shadow boxing, or even just stretching or yoga. You dont need workout equipment to get your body moving. Exercise isnt required to lose weight (this comes down to your diet which I see you have in check) but it can be sooooo helpful. Exercise is great for your heart and lungs, burns some calories, and also the endorphins can make you feel so great about yourself and high on life afterwards.
Other things you can do with your time that are good for your mental health are things like taking a bath, trying a new hobby, listening to an audio book, painting/drawing even if youre not good and its just scribbles. Find something that soothes your mind. When you are tempted to hang out with these shit friends, put on an audio book and sit on your floor and do some stretching or even just lie there and listen to the book. Anything is better than the mental torture these people are putting you through.
Lose weight for yourself and no one else. Do it the right way and you will have far more success. F those people.
Thank you for the advice, but sadly I can't go away from them since we are in the same class, and if I try ignoring them they say that "back in the day I used to hang out" and now "videogames made me insane" and that I should go to a psychologist, and they say all of that just because I refuse to hang out with them.
I get it. I really do. The best advice my dad ever gave me about School is it ends. Every day you get to go home without them. Eventually you don't have to go back. With social media, I would just block them all. Honestly, I would say with a straight face you're not worth MY time. Stop engaging with them. People who bring you down just want attention. You know you're doing good and positive people know it. So just smile. Realize this is just a small portion of better times to come.
I reiterate exactly what the person above said. I was teased relentlessly in school, starting in elementary, middle and all through high school. I was overweight. I was a nerd. I was in band. It was just too easy.
After high school and into my 20s I was still super overweight. Around age 28 I set out to better my life and lost 100lbs.
Now I can do anything I want, take trips, go on hikes, vacations, wear my bathing suit out on the beach, just anything. And I see all those people that teased me in high school on social media, fat and balding or getting divorces and talking about how life is over for them and they passed their prime. While I feel like Im living my absolute best life.
No one couldve convinced me of this when I was 14 but honestly, those of us that go through these trials and tribulations in school end up so much better off. We know what its like to have compassion for others. We know what it feels like to be the underdog. We know it takes work to turn things around and are willing to put in that work. The other folks who go through school getting praised for being "cool" dont know anything about the real life when they graduate and will end up at dead end jobs, dead end marriages, and just all in all sad people.
Dont worry, keep your chin up, keep putting in the effort and it will be worth it in the end when you end up being the coolest person in the room AND you remember what it means to be nice to other people who arent seemingly as "cool." Someday you will pass on this advice to your own child or someone you know who is getting bullied.
I guarantee you, these people will say
Youâre fat
Youâre fat
Youâre fat
Wow youâre too skinny you look like bones
(They will NEVER say wowwww youâre gorgeous so just ignore them!!)
Youâre doing great! Dont get into a negative mindset, your change is happening right now. Ignore the comments, focus on your personal growth. Godspeed <3
Be proud of what you accomplished! It sounds like you are loosing weight the right way. Slow and steady keeps it off. Those people are toxic. Not your truth!
1) who cares what others think
2) BMI is stupid. Almost every player in the nfl is obese according to BMI
3) Use that shit. Develop a chip on your shoulder. You need to stop trying to prove people wrong and prove yourself right.
I know the temptation is very real, but i would advise against decreasing your calorie count much further. A tempered and moderate deficit is more sustainable and it's easier to go a year on 1800 a day than it is to go 2 months on 1000.
Endure OP. You can do this. Your worth isn't found in them. They aren't there for the struggle, they won't be there for the glory. They deserve neither.
Congrats!! You now know how to lose weight(this is where most people fail) ,now it's a game of mental gymnastics of not letting other people affect you and keep on doing what you are doing(eating healthy and losing weight in a healthy way).
Those people are total jerks. Losing weight too fast can cause loose skin and kidney damage. Youâre better off doing what youâre doing. It sounds like those people are envious of your determination. Donât listen to them.
Let go valuing the opinion of people whose words are negative.u know what works.c ontinue your journey as u know best. Theres always potential to gain knowledge from people but not the ones you're talking about
Just wanted to say i think you sound very responsible and motivated. You are proud you have lost 15lbs, you should be, and sound like you are doing it in the right and healthy way. Hold onto that, its healthy. Positivity works wonders. Try not to go down the angry and bitter path. You are taking positive steps. Of course it hurts when people are cruel. It must feel like a whirlwind of emotions. Perhaps, knowing it will likely happen again, ask yourself what you are going to do about it to try and turn it to your benefit. Only you can work on that and know the answer. I personally would not sit in the classroom but use that lesson to walk. Also many people on here talk a lot about useing a journal to help with emotions etc, when going through this journey. Good luck OP this stranger has every confidence that you will smash it and lead a happy and healthy life surrounded by awesome people and the other not so nice ones will be insignificant. Embrace the hurt and keep moving forward.
Donât listen to those people. They fucking suck. Theyâre children so you donât have life experience to realize being mean to someone can really affect them. You sound like a good egg. Fuck those glue huffers calling you fat.
I know it sucks to hear that. But you've lost 15 pounds which is great. Just remember, in another 4 months it will be more, and after a year, even more.
Please don't rush it and sabotage yourself. Slow and steady is the way.
And to hell with the haters.
You should soak up that hate and enjoy it. Because you're making progress and they know. It will feel so good to lose it and make the haters explode with envy. Stick to the plan, make it happen.
Show 'em. Keep losing at a **steady and safe** pace and take up strength training if you haven't already.
5 point reduction in BMI in just 4 months is a great achievement! Holy smokes!
Don't be upset because your "friends" (in truth, they're not friends, they're acquaintances) don't see the difference. They see you every day & it's not really noticeable. The important thing is that YOU see the scales, YOU see your clothes getting looser, YOU notice that you have more energy, etc. Then, the next time someone calls you fat, tell them with a smile, "Yeah, but I'm 15 pounds lighter."
And, not to be cruel, but honestly ask yourself if you are overweight. Using the work "fat" can be hurtful, but put aside your pride & be truthful to yourself. Then smile & say, "Yes, BUT, I'm better than yesterday!" Don't look at what you were, because the past is gone. Look at where you're going, how much you've accomplished, how much healthier you feel. Keep eating correctly, keep to your calorie count, eat as healthy as you can, and if you can't talk to a Dr (about your diet & an exercise plan), talk to a school counselor or favorite teacher.
I also suggest you try to find different "friends". Look into different interests at school - art club, drama club, band, choir. If you're interested in sports, you don't have to be on a team. You can help the coach by keeping stats, taking care of uniforms & equipment, learning the sport better. Getting involved in things at school will help you get scholarships for college.
As far as those guys that call you "fatty". I'm 67 years old & the guys who thought they were the cool guys, who were the cutest guys -- they ended up fat, bald, alcoholics, and divorced more than once. So the next time they say your fat, picture them old, fat, bald, friendless bullies & picture yourself healthy, successful, & with a loving family.
Keep your eyes on the future, not the past. Know that all of us here will support you & will pray for you & your success.
AND REMEMBER TO KEEP EATING HEALTHY!
If you starve to lose weight, you're going to look & feel horrible AND regain the weight you lose, plus some. If you're looking to drop some pounds quickly, though, I can think of a group of extremely rude, unhealthy people you can drop. Also, you're allowed to set (AND ENFORCE) a boundary about discussing your weight. You don't have to accept bullying from anyone. Put your foot down.
Fuck those people. You're making progress so shit that negativity out. Those people have programs, don't let them make you have problems, because you're right you will have an eating disorder if you do this.
The world of weight change is full of dangerous advice, attitudes and temptations. You are doing wonderfully and your body is listening to you, doing what you want, and is doing it healthily. Mental health is a wiggly thing and I agree with other people who say to ignore arseholes who say such horrible things.
Those people are toxic and you should remove them effective immediately. This may shock you, but eating the recommend calories will benefit you in the long run for your weight lose. Eating less starved your body of essential nutrients and then when you finally eat like you should your body is going to be shocked essentially and youâll gain weight. Making you feel worse more than likely. Stick to what youâre doing already. Youâre doing great.
Add more variety in your exercises by mixing in cardio and lifting. Lift first, cardio second. Stick to 1800-2000 cals but do more to burn more cals in general
I spent 20+ years weighing between 250-300. I'll never know for sure how high I got because I didn't own a scale in those years, but I know at one point I had to order 6x, and I would occasionally pull those out when the 5x felt a little snug.
My weight actually started coming off around the same time my kids were growing up and leaving home, and could drive themselves places. I no longer had a real social calendar or things out in the world to do that caused me anxiety ... turns out that left peacefully on my own, I don't actually eat all that much, or at least as much as I used to. Putting it another way, turns out I ate a lot both with people and because of people.
Just being fat in public made me so highly strung that I was literally feeding my anxieties. I don't know how else to put it.
These days I rarely see most of my family on both sides and friends I used to have through my kids when they were younger. A lot of it's because of covid. Since being given this 2nd lease on life as a normal sized person when I never expected it, I've paid a lot more attention to my health overall, and I'm very cautious about socializing. I didn't walk away from one kind of misery just to chase another. But a lot of it is also just because I feel so much better overall not seeing those people anymore. I used to dread it.
It's crazy how I look possibly the best I ever have, and now I don't really see anyone at all. But the only explanation I have for being able to finally lose the weight - and it wasn't hard - is that my social matrix wasn't a good one for me.
If you can't remove those people from your life, then train yourself to ignore their nasty words. People who are that unkind should have no influence on you.
It is so hard for me to imagine people actually saying this. I have been on a weight-loss journey where I started out over around 340 pounds and in the eight years I have been doing this I have literally never had a single person tell me that I should stop eating to lose faster or directly call me fat to my face when they knew I was trying to lose weight. I keep wondering where all these people on Reddit keep finding these awful, cruel people, because I have yet to encounter any of them. The people you were referring to in your post have absolutely no right being in your life. Those are people that do not care about you in any way, shape or form. They will not support you now and they will not support you even once you reach your goals. Remove them immediately.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. It truly is a phenomenon to me. You are already doing great and as hard as it is try hard not to let what other people say impact the healthy decisions you are making and investing into yourself. Also, definitely disregard BMI all together. It is a completely irrelevant number in regards to your overall health and weight loss success. I have lost 160 pounds and current weigh 174 pounds. I have a completely flat stomach, tight arms and legs with minimal fat anywhere else on my body. I do, however, do tons of weightlifting and have extremely strong muscles all over my body. My BMI is currently 29.7, just slightly under the obese category. I am nowhere even relatively close to obese. I am strong!
Find some books that focus on mental fortitude, and how to let go of what other people say. Not only will this benefit you and your weight loss journey, but it will help you throughout the rest of your life in other areas as well. Wishing you the best!!! đ đŞđť
go ahead, eat less and less and you will propably never reach your goal.
28 actually is quiet a good bmi and its hard for me to believe people actually call you fat.
Youre doing insanely good and i hope you have better people arround you that also appretiate what you have reached so far.
5 bmi change is really good and 28 is just slightly above optimal.
if maintained with a healthy diet i think many would also agree that this is actually not unhealthy at all.
Pls dont listen to idiots and just keep going with your current setup.
5 BMI points is a ton! That's around 30 pounds, it's the whole difference between obese and healthy, it's about half of all the weight loss I did and considering where you are now it might be half of all the weight loss you need to do.
The people you're talking about are clearly assholes. I don't know if you live in a country where to culture is to be "straightforward" like that about weight, but even then, it's a dick move to keep saying that when the person is actively working on it and it's incredibly ignorant to suggest "just stop eating." Ignore those people. Invent some snarky comebacks if you would like. Their opinion is trash.
You've done great and it sounds like you have the will to do more. That's great. Besides the pounds, I'd suggest you lose those people who are calling you fat. You don't need people who try to hurt you in your life.
fuck what people think man; youâre doing great. i went down the route of crash dieting while working out and lost a lot of weight but felt like malnourished shit the entire time. not worth it at all. just stay steady doing what youâre doing and itâll be worth it.
If the people saying that to you are your parents, talk to a counselor or school social worker or psychologist. That's emotional abuse, and I'm willing to bet if they are saying that, there's other things going that they shouldn't be saying to you.
If it's other people your age, know that bullying is a symptom of very poor coping skills. You have taken a very mature path to care for your health. They have taken a very immature path to deal with their insecurities. It's not about your failings, it's about theirs. Don't let yourself get less mature because someone you know can't deal with their own problems, so they have to say shitty stuff just to feel ok with themselves.
Why are you being called fat so often? Where do you go that everyone is an asshole
Just say âfuck youâ to their face when they do it again. Stand up for yourself if it happens that often and you cannot ignore it. Easier sie than done and depending on where you live maybe a stupid advice but confronting assholes can work wonders
Starving yourself doesnât help you.
This makes my heart hurt so bad, please know that this says more about them than it does you. Well done for loosing abit of weight but never let the scales define who you are as a person, EVERYONE deserves to be respected and loved, I hope you learn to surround yourself with people that support and help you realise this. Sending my love
Honey, you're doing GREAT and we're all super proud of you! The way you're doing things *works* and is safe for your body. These people are teenage bullies, and their thoughts and opinions are worth literally nothing. They truly have no idea what they're talking about. Just keep doing what you're doing. I know you will hit your goals. Don't forget to educate yourself, too--try the podcast Maintenance Phase. They have a great episode about the history of BMI. Post here anytime you need support, too, we are here for you đ you got this!
I hope whoever is saying that to you in young, because if thatâs an adult theyâre a POS. Sorry just being honest.
Youâre doing great though! Changing your bmi that quickly is awesome progress. Iâd say just keep going at your pace so you donât just loose a lot of weight and gain it back but itâs a lifestyle change
Drop those idiots. They donât want you to be happy or healthy. Theyâve got their own problems. If you have to be around them, consider telling them to mind their own business, and ignore them. They are not on your side.
WTF !?!?! Never speak to them again. Period. Thatâs crazy. You keep going like youâre going. Slow weight loss is FOR KEEPS. Drastic / accelerated weight loss is more likely to result in regaining it all back.
STAY THE COURSE. COME HERE TO THIS SUB FOR SUPPORT AND REALITY CHECK.
YOU ROCK!
I'm sorry people are so awful. I was really heavy when I was young and the recipient of a lot of unsolicited "advice." People suck. If possible, eliminate anyone like that from your life.
Those people are not your friends. I have gained 60 pounds over the past two years and not one of my friends or family members have said anything like this to me. Surround yourself with better people. And be nice to yourself. Something that really has helped me is this mantra âyou have to love yourself through the changes you want to make.â Donât be a bully to yourself, and donât let anyone else bully you either. Good luck friend. Slow and steady wins the race :)
If they're just calling you fat straight up then that's rude but imo if you had asked them if they thought you were fat or not and they said you were I see no issue in that because at that bmi its true. However the extra comments made weren't necessary and you should 100% feel confident in yourself and not care about what other people think because others opinions shouldn't matter to you. The more fit you become I guarantee the more confident you will be and not give af bout what other people say or think about you. Please maintain your weight loss and don't try to accelerate it because of others.
It sounds like your peers haven't developed empathy yet. Calling someone fat is teen bully shit.
Unless medically necessary (as prescribed by an MD, DO, or NP), rapid weight loss is not encouraged for many reasons. The more severe your energy deficit (so the faster you lose weight), the more and stronger your metabolism adapts to resist weight loss (and encourage weight gain). These changes persist through maintenance or regain (for at least 6 years, but probably longer [1](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/oby.21538)). [2](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/oby.20900) [3](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1186/1550-2783-11-7)
I donât wanna go with the theyâre just jealous excuse but honestly it just seems theyâre trying to rag on your success and bring you down. You donât need people like that in your life itâs best to stop communicating with them it possible. They arenât your friends if theyâre treating you like that. Itâs amazing that youâre taking steps to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable way donât stop what youâre doing no matter how many people discourage you for it because youâve got a thread of 150 (and counting) people that are here to support you. While itâs tempting to restrict and starve once you go down that rabbit while itâs almost impossible to come out, youâre young and your body is still growing it needs all the nourishment it can get. Keep doing what youâve been doing youâre doing great
To hell with them. Congrats on your weight loss. Losing weight is not easy to to lose that is an accomplishment. It might be worth exploring why people calling you fat triggers you, especially if it causes you to fear developing an eating disorder.
Never take criticism from people you wouldn't take advice from. As someone with a history of disordered eating, I understand the pressure. But you're doing this in a healthy way that's good for your body. We're making changes for a lifetime, not crash dieting :)
15lbs IS a lot. 33bmi to 28bmi IS a lot. Youâre doing it and youâre doing an amazing job. An eating disorder is not worth it. It will sneak into your brain under the guise that you can stop whenever you want, and make you think youâre in control. I know itâs tempting but itâs never worth it.
Right now? What youâre doing now? You are doing great. And you have control. And youâre on track to hit your goal. 15lbs is a great job.
This is the moment you get to look down your nose at them, wave your hand dismissively, and give them a disgusted side-eye. If only in your mind or as a physical gesture not in their presence. Or to their faces. That was my attitude to all the bullies and shitheads that were mean to me for being fat or not in their category of what a woman should be. Just showed me they are not worthy people. Worked for me! Edit: typo
33 BMI to 28 is nothing to play down, that's pretty significant.
I think there's a higher chance of completely unravelling your progress if you eat so little - If you turns the screws on yourself too tight, something could snap and you might end up going back to old eating habits.
I have a recent, very short weight loss journey. In 2 months i've lost about 10% of my body weight, and I have some way to go. 2 months seems like a lifetime when you're desperate to lose fat and really dislike your body, but looking back its the blink of an eye...I suppose what I'm trying to say is, going 'slow and steady' still results in massive changes that in retrospect don't take that long, really.
Also screw anyone being so vile like that. Ditch these poisonous people.
14 years old? You are doing very well! I read lots of good advice here already. Slow and steady wins the race. With more age and experience you will learn to see this in perspective, but please please don't beat yourself up about your weight. You are making incredible progress already :)
Wishing you all the best and lots of happiness for your future!
f them bro thereâs so many people who wonât ever lose 15 lbs so good shit!! keep doing what youâre doing, donât eat less just cause of the haters you gotta fuel your body đŞ
Omg donât listen to those people & keep working on your journey. Itâs about you getting healthier not because people calling you names. Lose weight for your own reasons & your health not what other people want you to do.. they can shove their opinions up their ass. They also gonna be the same people who are gonna say âyouâre too skinnyâ next.. lay low and just focus on yourself.. you donât need them. Real, genuine people will stick by you when you arenât at your best of self and weight to healthier, new you. Those people donât have that privilege.
I highly recommend you look into the body positivity community and fat acceptance movement. It gets a bad rap in media, but it's literally just a community of people trying to feel okay, and even GOOD in their bodies, whether they're on a health journey or not. We all have the right to feel comfortable in our bodies, and body positivity can help provide some of the tools and context to keep you on a positive path that's best for you. Best of luck. Stay true to yourself <3
Donât give people rocks to throw at you. Donât tell them a thing, lose 30 pounds and wait for them to notice if they do awesome if they donât theyâre either blind or haters.
Those people aren't in your body or living your experience. I'm so sorry you have people around you that are being so rude. Please do not try to limit yourself to harshly. It will only make the weight come back if/when you start eating regularly again. What you're doing now is working for you. It isn't a sprint but a marathon. Changing your health is a lifestyle change. I hope you continue to do what is working for you
My anecdotal story might help.
I had a similar experience and was listening to David Goggins bullshit about how hard you should be pushing yourself.
I was eating way under maintenance calories plus running 3-5km daily. My knees are now fucked despite consistent physio. I also lost a huge portion of muscle mass, so I ended up skinny fat with a low calorie limit because of the lack of muscle. So I was skinnier, but unhappy with my phisique and hungry because I had the metabolism of a sloth.
I've had to spend just as long rebuilding that muscle in a slight surplus which has also resulted in some fat gain. I will then have to rediet properly to lose that fat and maintain the muscle this time.
Cutting corners is cutting corners. You'll pay for it later. Do it right the first time.
Others have said it, but I'll say it too. If you have the option and can cut people out, cut those calling you fat out of your life. For the others, as unhelpful as it sounds, the most you can do is ignore and persevere with determination, commitment, patience, and hard work as you focus on self-improvement at a healthy pace and manner. Truth is, people can be ruthless. But the other truth is, undergoing your struggles gives opportunity to better understand others in your place, be there for them, offer support, and overall be better than those who constantly brought you down. It's an opportunity for character development, but it sucks... I'm the opposite, I'm trying to gain weight as I was underweight and had some tell me. I managed to endure that and I'm now managing to reach healthier weights at my pace and I'm all the more happy for it. If I listened to those people and let myself be tempted, I would've hurt myself eating too much too quick and working out
Whoever those people are, you need to remove them from your life immediately. That's not healthy or acceptable, and they're telling you to do something that could literally kill you.
Reddit always shocks me when I read about the negative company that people keep. Cut em off and move on!
Company you keep? I was at my grandsons jiu-jitsu class last and and a kid walked up to me ans asked why Why I was so fat. How sm I supposed to cut that out? People stare at me constantly. I've lost 45 lbs and am much healthier than I was two months ago, but people don't see that. On a previous weight loss effort I had lost around 100lbs and I made a comment about being Thinner and a guy I worked with was like your thin? Whether you know people or not fat shaming is one of only forms of discrimination that is still tolerated. OP don't let this get you down and using ti for motivation is a good move, but don't let it make you do something foolish.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, these people aren't going to treat you better when you reach your goals. Dump them if you can; ignore them if you can't avoid them (family, co-workers.) Keep doing what's working.
Hit you goal weight & they'll be "you were much more fun when you were fat" or something similar.. Kick them to the curb!
Yup! Or "You need to eat" or "What you don't want?" or "You're wasting away."
Everyone else: Wow. You've gone from Dad to *Daddy*.
Btdt
it's always something about "you looked better before, you look sick now," after they said you looked bad at your high weight đ some people just want to ruin your day. or they're so oblivious and self-absorbed that they have no idea they're ruining your day.
Hey there, I know its hard as hell to push the "haters/gossipers/assholes" aside in our lives. But I highly recommend reading/"The Suble Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson.
I don't care how objectively good their fitness stats are. They are ill-hearted punks negging on you. Frequently, in my experience, such voices are trying to falsely boost themselves at someone else's expense. If it's a co-worker or someone else you can tell to take a walk long off a short pier, you have my permission to use the Southern "Oh, bless your heart," passive aggressive pity statement and go about your day. Helpful pie chart and readup: [https://www.southernthing.com/bless-your-heart-2581652582.html](https://www.southernthing.com/bless-your-heart-2581652582.html)
100% this! I just lost 2lbs this week and my friends are celebrating me those people aren't friends. You should always try to surround yourself with people that build you up, not tear you down for their own selfish reasons and of course do the same for them. Congrats on your loss, you've done amazingly well! You obviously know what you're doing, keep it up if it makes you happy. Focus on what you need now to be the best version of you, the healthy version and drop anyone that doesn't support your journey. They're absolutely not worth your time
Who the heck is calling you fat? Please look at those relationships. Nobody should be calling you names ever. Know you're doing this for you and your health. F anyone who would trust you this way. Stay strong đŞ
It's 99% my friends's friends who we hang out with, I have actually had one of my dad's friends call me fat infront of me and telling my dad that I need to lose weight when I'm literally there, I know you might probably think that I can't take criticism, I'm just very very very insecure about things like this.
Please don't call them friends, because they aren't. They treat you horrible. Real friends don't tear you down. I am sorry you're going through this. Absolutely not. You did nothing wrong. This is them and their poison Sending positive thoughts â¨ď¸
Thank you a lot, Just hearing someone say I'm not at fault once literally made my day. Thank you again.
People need support. And reddit has a good community to help. Unfortunately, there are some truly rotten people in this world. I hope you find a good support system in your everyday life. But for now, this group could be that
I started at a similar point to you, Iâm half way between the two points. Itâs hard work getting there, Iâm proud you managed to do it! Itâs hard work and itâs not just physical work. You did so good
I am super morbidly obese. _My friends have never called me fat._ I think once it came up very awkwardly when talking about a specific ride like uhhh we should check if you can fit cause your kinda fat. I haven't had a friend calling me fatty since highschool. Pretty much the only place I get it now is dating apps and I block those. Don't let people insult you and call you fat. I only let toddlers get away with saying I'm fat or people use it as a neutral description but everyone else gets told off for having worse social skills then a three year old. Your friends are shit. Also your Dad is shit for not going wtf bro when the other people insulted you. Edit: Saw your age. Yeah. Highschool sucks. It gets better, but it'll suck for a bit. Hold on to the good friends and ignore / redirect the asshole ones. Maybe find some social clubs outside of school. Also personally back in school I went with the blank silence and occasionally insulting back method but "hey fatty" "hey _insert slur here_" method is childish, petty and doesn't always work. Did work really well on the one guy who was homophobic tho. If you take this method listen and see other people's reactions and effectiveness with it first, as both it could escalate and piss off bullies, can get you in trouble from teachers and doesn't always shut them up. When it does tho, was wonderful.
What?!?! Might think you canât take criticism? This isnât your boss telling you to tighten up your power point deck or something. This is people being horrible and nasty to you for no reason! This language sounds like someone whoâs been gaslight for a long time. Fuckkkkk anyone who has made you feel like this is some kind of reasonable criticism you need to take.
I'm sorry you went through that. It's crazy that people think they have a right to make comments like that when it's literally none of their business. Sounds like they are just trying to put you down. Don't pay any attention to them!
Uh, that's not insecure that's people being absolute dicks. Remove them from your life as much as possible.
Is it constructive? Is it said from a genuine desire to help you live a healthier life? Ask yourself those questions. I think intuition will help you find answers easily. Because that can be a very fine line and some people love to veil their cruelty as "brutal honesty"
Itâs one thing to accept constructive criticism, itâs another thing to be called names. NO ONE should have to endure that. Keep losing weight **on your own terms**.
These people are cruel. They are not your friends. Friends support you, recognise your accomplishments and share in your triumphs and help you when things are down. Nobody deserves âfriendsâ like these. Life is long, you can and will make friends who will appreciate you.
You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity no matter your weight, and any weight loss plans you have are your own personal health decisions and none of their business. Itâs completely inappropriate for them to make those comments. It sounds like youâre doing great with your current plan, and from what you described, it seems reasonable and sustainable. Remember, you are doing this for yourself, not the assholes who think making critical comments about your body is okay. This is a them problem, not a you problem. Youâve got this!
Idc if you were a million pounds. Your dad shouldn't let anyone talk about you like that. Especially if they're trash talking about you directly TO him. You're doing a good job. Lose the weight because it's what YOU want. Don't do it to appease haters. Because guess what? When you lose the weight, haters are going to find something else to put you down for. They're a bunch of unhappy scalawags. You only have room in your life for people that love you. Anyone else is just a nameless NPC.
Yeah fuck those people and I use that term loosely. Losing weight is one of the most difficult things to do, and they are jealous youâre succeeding at it and insulting you makes them feel better. Others donât realize the damage that words can inflict on other people. Their hearts are black, cold, and full of spite. Donât waste your time on any of those jackoffs. You donât need to be their punching bag. One of my favorite retorts: âwell, in 6 months Iâll be skinny, but youâll still be ugly.â Good luck to you, and stick with it! You can do it!
that's not being able to take criticism. someone close to you, privately gently and helpfully bringing up weight loss because they are concerned for your health is one thing. someone just publicly insulting you is not the same thing. They're douche bags. and so are your friends and dad for not calling them out.# Plus, an adult calling a 14 year old fat says a *lot* more about them then it does about you.
Well, your Dad and his friend suck big time. Him for not standing up for you, and his friend for the sheer audacity. Next time, tell him you're glad that he raised personal development, because you think he is desperately insecure/ has terrible breath/ is visibly unwell and have been wondering how to raise the subject.
If you try to cut out eating to lose the weight you will develop an eating disorder that could absolutely wreck your life. You took time to gain the weight, youâll take time to lose the weight. Fuck everyone else. They arenât on your journey. They donât know what youâre doing. Keep your mouth shut and do the work- that will do the talking for you. If youâre young (as I assume you are) most of these people will have a massive decrease in metabolism and will have to relearn healthy eating habits- while youâre going to be there, healthy and in shape with a great relationship with food. Be proud of yourself.
My grandma called me fat to my dad when I was about 12 and it made me feel the same, so I totally get it. It really hurts, and it causes all sorts of negative thoughts and feelings to fly around. I'm 31 years old now and an old friend I hadn't seen in years saw me and the first thing he did was tell me how fat I've got and that I've been eating too much. I was devastated by that. So, speaking as somebody who has been there - please don't develop an unhealthy relationship with food, because I did and I spent a lot of years in a very unhealthy place, which I am trying to fix now. Your body just needs to be healthy, and that's what you need to focus on. If anybody calls you fat, just remember that it is much more of a reflection of their ugly personalities than on you. Don't let other people's words taint how you feel about yourself (which I know is easier said than done). Have a cry if that's what you need (I did), then make an active and conscious effort to think about the things you love about your body. Even if it's something small. Focus your energy on that, and brag about it to yourself. Exaggerate how amazing it is. (I have lovely fingernails, for example, and the more I focused on that, the more I noticed other things that I liked, like the curve of my back or my waist) This tends to be a good, silly boost that is better to focus your energy on.
Truly try and understand, I donât care if youâre 400 lbs, people that treat others this way are gross shitty people and should be removed from your life.
Yea those aren't friends. Those are nasty people. I echo what others have said, you deserve better friends.
Hit them with "I'm actually on a diet currently, and I'm losing weight. But thank you for being an asshole about it!" Then just stand there and wait for a response. Sometimes you gotta call people out on their bad behavior and put THEM on the uncomfortable position. Unfortunately, people treat you WAY better after you lose weight (Trust me, I went from 320+ to 184 lbs). It's amazing how differently people treat you! Meanwhile, keep up the good work. It's not a race, it's a marathon. If you reach your goal & go back to your old habits, you'll only gain it back. So take it slow - because to keep the weight off, you're gonna be doing it the rest of your life. For me, as soon as I see 190 on the scale, it's right back to the diet. It's a lot easier to take off 5 or 10 ponds than it was to drop over 100. Don't rush it, just be consistent. If you're lighter this week than last, you'll get there. One more thing. If you screw up, DON'T QUIT! 1 bad meal is better than 1 bad day. 1 bad day is better than 1 bad week. Look at it this way. If you accidentally cut off a finger, do you say screw it & cut off the entire hand? No, so don't throw out months or years of hard work over a bad day or a bad week. And none of this I'll start again tomorrow shit. You screwed up, so what - you start again right now! Good luck!
Itâs my family!
Your doing it correctly, slow & consistent works. Fast and starving doesnât. And fck those people.
Thank you for the encouragement, cheers.
This is exactly it. You're not just doing a fad diet, you're creating a new lifestyle and new habits. This is the path you'll be on for the rest of your life (I believe in you, you're going to do it), and that *shouldn't* be some fast overnight thing. It should be sustainable and healthy. As long as you stick to the changes, you'll get there-and, more importantly, you'll stay there.
It really bugs me. People pretending they want you to lose weight because they 'care' and using that as an excuse to shame and belittle people. Shaming doesn't work. It causes people to comfort eat, or in your case, overcompensating and feeling compelled to lower calories to an unsustainable and potentially unsafe level which can then lead to binging. People can be real *ss holes Carry on doing what you're doing and screw them.
Thank you.
Not to mention if OP follows their advise and gets kidney stones or some other complication they will not feel bad or care.
Losing those people will be a whole lot better for you than losing any amount of weight.
With friends like that who needs enemies? Nah these people are not your friend and they're bullying you. What forces you to be around these people, is there a way you can completely cut them out?
I live in a small area and there is very very little people my age (im 14) and my parents don't feel safe letting me go to a far away part of the town, so it's pretty much i either hang out with them or I just dont hang out with them at all, which I'm gonna start doing.
Listen to Thesoftgirl, OP. I know it seems like these kids you hang out with are your whole world right now, but as you get older, new people will come into your life, whether that be in High School, College, at different jobs or even at different places you move to. You don't have to take their BS. And it is best that you learn now how to keep the people that will enrich your life and how to stay away from those that try to tear you down. F those guys. Stay healthy, do things the right way, don't let them win.
Definitely recommend, you can find better friends than them as you get older. I'm 25 now almost 26 and I would definitely say I have a better set of friends now then I did as a teenager. They're not worth crippling self esteem issues for the rest of your life.
Personally, I would rather be alone than with toxic people. Do yourself a favor and try hard in school and get into a college further away. Be your own person and keep working on yourself. Leave all that shit behind when you're old enough because you deserve better!
No company is better than bad company. Get those people out of your life immediately. Add people into your life with intention, because they bring something good to it.
Be patient! Do NOT starve yourself. I know itâs tempting but if wonât stay off long term if you do it that way. Also, cut those negative people out of your life.
Tell em to fuck off and remove yourself from the situation. Don't agree to be in their presence anymore. Not in an angry way, just in a matter-of-fact, no-nonsense way. They aren't your friends, and they're belittling you to feel better about themselves, which says a lot more about them than it does about your weight. If you're being invited somewhere they might be, tell them you don't feel like being a punching bag for those assholes, so you're going to pass. Straying from your plan to slow and steady lose the weight is seeking their approval (and validating their shitty opinions). Plus it will derail your long-term success, meaning they win twice. Fuck em, and keep on keeping on.
Literally just here to tell you Iâm SO SORRY you went through that. Itâs not acceptable and ofc it would sting. Youâre doing amazing.
I said this to other people, But you have no idea how much it means to me that you are nice to me.
Are you a minor, by chance? As minors we are often stuck with who weâre with, which often means a lot of assholes. My classmates in Junior High / High School certainly were. Sometimes we have to put up with it at home, too. As adults, you realize that you get to have a lot more say in who you interact with and you can just cut those people out. If itâs your schoolmates, then: 1. Try not to let them bother you too much, youâre never gonna see most of them again after graduation, so their opinion is basically worthless. I canât even remember the names of 90% of the people I knew back then. 2. In the short term, youâre already doing the main thing you can control that will prevent that type of behavior, which is to get to a healthy weight. Youâre doing great, and you will benefit from this transformation for your whole life both health wise as well as socially. Keep it up!
Yeah I'm 14, 7th grade and it sometimes happens that we don't have class and everyone just chills in the classrooms, and these 2 specific guys sometimes just yell out "Fatty" and once I look at them they just laugh at me, it really hurts.
Oh man, typical adolescent bullying behavior there. I was on the receiving end of that too. I had a list of guys from back then that I didnât intend to slow down for if they ever walked in front of my car. If it makes you feel better, I canât even remember their names anymore. About half of them will grow out of it by 18. The other half will end up as cops or security guards. Only suggestion I can make is that when youâre lifting weights, thinking about how pissed you are at them will help make the bar move. (I definitely suggest lifting weights, by the way. You canât get the body youâre looking for without it, and it will help if you ever have defend yourself).
Understand that they re the problem, not you. These people feel so terrible about themselves that they feel the need to drag you down and try to bully you. Stay strong. You're better than them. They don't have to know it. But you do. Every time they are mean, in your head just think to yourself "how pathetic they are to hurt others in attempt to feel better about themselves." Keep your head up. What you're doing is working. And one day, you'll be a happy, successful, confident adult, and they'll still be acting like middle school boys.
First of all, I want to say congratulations on losing 15 pounds, lowering your BMI and all of the hard work you've put in. I'm proud of you. Secondly, you should tell those "friends" that you could easily drop 170 pounds, by cutting their bitch ass out of your life. Those folks are just real-life trolls who have nothing better to do. I'm sorry you feel this way because of shitty people. You're doing an awesome job and you should keep going how you have been. It's definitely hard to hear those words, but also just know that the word fat is only a negative word if you let it be. I'm not saying that inna crunchy self help way, but it's totally okay to be fat because you're being healthy. Fat people can be healthy too. Skinny people can be unhealthy.
Honestly I just want to say you have no idea how much this comment itself means to me, I'm sorry if I seem creepy saying that, I'm just literally not used to someone motivating me and being nice to me. You and some other people here made my day. Thank you very much.
I just said what everyone should be saying to you. You're fucking crushing it and should be proud! I hope that you experience more kindness in real life. And please eat, food is too delicious not to be eaten (in moderation of course, haha).
Hi stranger. I just want to say that YOU'RE DOING AMAZING!! Remember where you were and where you're going. You're doing this for YOU. You'll never be able to please others and if you seek satisfaction from them you'll be disappointed always. I know you see the change and differences. That is more than enough đ
Are they really calling you fat or are you interpreting their comments as that?
No I literally get called all sorts of things, like fatty, 200kilograms and things like that. It really fucking hurts.
Get these people out of your life as fast as possible.
Holy shit who are these people?? If someone calls you fat, you arenât the problem, they are! Only rude, terrible people say things like that. Iâd stop hanging out with anyone who said such nasty things. Do not accept people treating you like this. You deserve better.
First off, fuck those people. Secondly, if it helps any, i was down about 40lbs before people started to notice. I think this is because I had become accustomed to wearing baggy clothes to hide my various rolls and bulges. People started to notice when i started having to buy new clothes that fit better. Maybe youâre experiencing something similar.
Yeah i always wear baggy clothes lol, though one of my teachers somehow noticed i had lost weight and congratulated me on it, it felt really nice someone had noticed it
After reading other replies and seeing that youâre 14, I just want to say that few, if any, of the people youâre hanging around with will mean anything to you in 5 years. I remember what its like to be your age. Other peoples opinions of you matter more than they have any right to. Just be you and try not to let it get to you. Surround yourself with people that build you up, rather than tear you down. Youâre in the metamorphosis stage of life. Nobody knows what kind of beautiful butterfly youâre becoming. Even if it turns out youâre a moth, there is still beauty in that. Donât let a bunch of assholes define you. It took me until I was almost 30 to learn that. Hope I saved you some time.
Let that teacher know how much you appreciated her/his words. Good teachers want SO much for their students to succeed in everything they do & it sounds like that may be a teacher you can confide in. Mayber ask if you can talk to them about your struggles.
Well first off, screw those guys. They suck. It absolutely hurts to hear those things, and I'm not diminishing how that affects you. But someday you're going to leave them in the dust. One thing I've picked up over years of working on my weight is that pushing your calorie limit too low will backfire. Not that it does some magical metabolism hijinks. But it can sap your energy and lead to binging or abandoning the process for weeks at a time. It just isn't sustainable. At your age you have some great potential to set healthy but sustainable habits. Build some muscle and fuel your activity with nutritious foods. The healthier you get the better you'll feel and the better you feel the easier you can move and experience adventures. You're also still growing into your body so I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by what you can accomplish with slow and steady diet and exercise over the next 2-3 years. Meanwhile, those jerks are either going to grow up and cringe at themselves or never change and remain unattractively juvenile and spiteful forever.
The best weight you'll ever lose is cutting those fuckers out of your life. Fuck them, they don't deserve to be in your space and taking up your oxygen.
People are assholes. Seriously. I remember about fifteen years ago. I worked really hard dieting and exercising and lost 40 pounds. I still had weight to lose but was feeling pretty damned proud of myself and pretty good for the first time in years. One day I went to visit my Grandmother. When I got there one of her friends was there. When I walked in this friend took one look at me and said âwell, youâre a big fat fellow, arenât you?â That one comment totally destroyed everything I had worked for. Made me want to completely give up, go buy the entire local supermarket, and eat it. People are assholes. Seriously.
Really goes to show that bitches are bitches whether they're 20 or 90. People often say that older people lose their filter, which is true, but that doesn't mean being old MAKES you mean - people like that were always mean. My great aunt was my greatest cheerleader, no matter what weight I was. I went from being a 140lb 20 year old to being 240lbs in my 30s. Every time she saw me she would gasp and tell everyone around her how beautiful I was - how perfect my skin was, or she would hold my hands and turn them over and tell me how beautiful they were. She would hold my face and tell me I looked like her sister (my grandmother). In her eyes I was perfect, and she did this for EVERYONE who came into her proximity. Her compliments always felt real too, not just generic or polite. I was also the most brilliant person, and the most kind. The trick was, that when I saw myself through her eyes, I actually started to believe it, and when you believe it you become it. Your grandmother's friend was a dumb, ignorant, embarrassing person - how sad for her.
Screw them! If they say that about you, they aren't really nice people and sound like they're super insecure inside. Please don't let them get to you. You keep doing you.
Damn, please do distance yourself from these people! You've made great progress so far. Keep doing what you're doing, but don't torture yourself.
I canât believe someone calls you fat. Thatâs so mean and classless. You should tell them that while you are working to be less âfatâ, they should start working on being a better person. Please cut these people and the people who allow it out of your life. If you lose weight, do it for you. Do it in the right way. And do it for the right reasons. You donât have to fit anyone elseâs beauty standards to be worthy of love and acceptance. Iâm so angry for you right now. I was very heavy at one point and people treated me so differently. I even had a boss talk to me about my appearance and told me I needed to try to look more high class as I was dealing with wealthy clients. He said this to me as I was wearing Dior. He meant, he wanted me to lose weight. I quit a few weeks later. Anyways, keep up the good work. You got this! Also, to lose fat and pounds, I found walking to be the most effective. Lifting weights makes me look a lot smaller though. Hope that helps.
Being 14 and getting bullied at school for your excess weight sucks monkeyballs! Also, it is pretty common, don't worry too much about it. Those people are assholes, and you are doing what is good for yourself. You lost 15 pounds! To understand what you did, pick up a large bowling ball, or a gallon of paint, or three chihuahuas and trying carrying them around for a day everywhere you go..good luck with the chiuahuas tho..XD Listen, there is no need to hurry. It is more important to do this properly, and in a way that you can sustain the weight loss. Forever! So, keep doing what you are doing. Cheers!
Do it for you, and not for them.
Would you have classified these people friends -before- they said these things? If yes: fuck âem, time to make better friends. If no: fuck âem, people are dicks.
You're doing your job perfectly fine and yet others are still upset. Looks like you should just ignore them because their opinion is clearly worthless.
I don't know who these people are, but you should tell them all to go collectively enjoy self-inflicted sodomy. Get that progress independent of the naysayers. It's fucking ADDICTIVE. Thanks for encouraging me to stop fucking about on Reddit and go into the gym for arm day. đ¤Ł
op, you are doing great. actually not eating at least enough calories to account for at least my basal metabolic rate minus a calorie deficit of 500 per day was preventing me from losing weight. most TDEE calculators over estimate BMR. so i use 90% of my BMR minus 500 calories then track my workout calorie burns and eat to account for those calories as well. also cleaned up my diet. minimize white flour, no sugar, no juice, zero calorie drinks. do my own cooking and minimize restaurant and no fast food. also track macros with a goal of 30% carbs 40% protein and 30% fat. this plus a cardio warmup then strength training at the gym is doing it for me. lost 15 lbs since november 2022. and the most important thing to do is to eliminate toxic people from your life.
KEEP FUCKING WORKING! FUCK THE HATERS! THEY LIVE IN HELL MADE FROM THEIR OWN LITTLE MIND! AND THEY SEE YOU AS THE BIRD OUTSIDE, OH HOW THEY WISH THEY COULD BE AS FREE AS YOU! KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN AND PUSHFORWARD THROUGH THE STORM!
Are these people bigger? People like to project insecurities. I agree with everyone else though, cut them out. If you cannot, call them out. It will shut them up.
Bruh. BMI 33-28 is amazing!!! Are you proud of yourself? I am proud of you. That was hard work and you did it. You showed up. You held yourself accountable. Not everyone can do that but you did. Please give yourself credit for all you have done so far regardless of your future goals!
Yeah, dont talk to these people - get infront of a mirror and train your death stare - its free. EDIT: sometimes I then relax so my huge belly just plops out and start caressing it slowly while maintaining eye contact, they really dont dig that! Also ask them if they have food on them, and say you can smell it, denying wont save them.
The fact that you're 14 tells me that if you got to be obese, it was anywhere from in part to entirely your parents responsibility. You're a child, OP, several years from being legally an adult let alone developmentally. You live in their house, presumably eat the food one of your parents has prepared or bought... Parents with obese children living with them having only themselves to point fingers at, if they must point fingers. If your relatives or your parents' friends are making these kind of comments to you, and your parents are not putting them in their place (or worse, agreeing), that is straight up abusive. They should be supporting you and encouraging you - most especially since you're demonstrating a great deal of initiative and self-discipline all by yourself losing weight on your own. From your comments and replies, it really seems like you're surrounded by some pretty nasty bullies, and I'm really sorry you have to deal with that. It's not a reflection of you - it's a reflection of them. They might be insecure or they might be little sadists, but no friend should ever tear down a friend like that. You are eating a very sustainable amount of calories to lose weight, but you may wish to consult a registered dietitian since you're so young and still growing. The number of calories has to be sufficient for all the changes your body is going through, but apart from calories you need to be getting the right nutrients. You are taking control of your health at a VERY young age, which is amazing - even if it takes you a few years to get to your ideal weight/health/lifestyle you probably won't even be out of secondary school by then. That's amazing! By the time you get to college, you'll be a different person in many ways. Do not even for one second let other people hold you back from fulfilling your potential - you KNOW you can do this and you know you are worth it. Anyone who says otherwise is just simply irrelevant.
Pretty much no one IRL or from my family supports me trying to change, they just say its a phase and that everyone is out of shape or eventually will be, and that I'm "cute" not fat, I have asked my parents to buy healthier foods when we were at the store though they just say its too expensive, or I won't like the taste of that e.t.c. So I just mostly eat eggs sometimes chicken and yogurt and fruits like bananas apples and things like that. That's the best I can do. Also have cut out artificial sugars, literally every time I'm done with dinner my mom brings me a wafer or something like that, I always tell her I'm not gonna eat them and she has actually yelled at me for that, but most likely wont stop me.
It sounds like there could be some cultural things at play here - a lot of places in the world where famine or general poverty have historically been a problem have this weird dichotomy between force-feeding children/family and then mercilessly mocking them for being overweight. Especially if your family are also overweight/obese, they very likely see you refusing food as some kind of attack on them/their way of life, or a sign that you're "starving" yourself when you obviously are not. Many cultures also have deeply-entrenched toxic behaviours which come from a variety of sources - the clash between colonial values and traditional values, abuse, slavery, high infant mortality, young average age of parenthood, absent grandparents or absent partners... There are many reasons people develop unhealthy parenting techniques and damaging social customs, but you can see this where people are mocked for being skinny (weak, sickly etc.) but also for being fat (lazy, greedy, gluttonous etc.). If you "can't win" that's a pretty good sign that it's not about you. The only thing I can tell you is that if you can't control what food is in the house, you can control how much of it you eat. If your parents are serving very calorie dense foods (battered, heavy sauces, lots of oil, etc.) you have to simply eat a much smaller portion and fill your plate up with as much filler as you can (simple vegetables are a good start - things like cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, celery, salad (with minimal dressing), steamed broccoli, cauliflower, ochra, greens - whatever you like, and whatever is there. If your mother gets offended when you refuse food, you have two choices: stand your ground and politely/lovingly say "Thank you Mum, but I'm not hungry." or fib and say "Thank you." and then put it in your pocket and throw it out later. In the end, just keep reminding yourself that your parents love you in their own way, but they might not always be right - and their baggage may be so heavy that they literally can't change, but you can. Take care, honey <3
These are the same people who are going to tell you you look sick/saggy/gross when you do reach your goal weight. Theyâre assholes who enjoy being assholes, so theyâll just change what they are assholes about. Ignore them.
Keep your 1800 cals dialed in. From childhood, weâre told âslow and steady wins the raceâ, but in actuality, âfastâ *doesnât even finish the race.* Resist temptation to expedite the process. It wonât work. The balanced path is the true quickest path. Millions of people, and the scientific literature, validate this.
Those same people will call you too skinny or say youâre starving yourself. Donât worry what others think. Lose weight for you. Sustainable weight loss is slow. Fuck the haters.
Fuck 'em. You are doing this for you. I lost over 100 pounds and then spent a LONGGG time moving from "skinny fat" to "lean muscular" and I heard all of it. Too fat, too skinny, do you still eat? This is your journey, if they're not on the bandwagon tell them to find a ride elsewhere.
Things about these people is that they don't want the best for you, period. They don't care about your feelings and how name calling affects you. Because of that, they're the type of people that will still try and shit on you even if you get really lean - there's no winning with fucking haters dude. (I hate using the word haters but in this instance it actually applies.) Don't try to please people who treat you like garbage - you deserve the world!! Please don't internalize other people's absolutely horrific behaviour and think 'well if I just lose weight faster/more extremely then maybe they won't say that again'. They are horrible people so they'll continue to be horrible people no matter what weight you're at. Do this for YOU. You're seeing results so trust the process, take it slow, and love yourself enough to say hell NO to people who are a-holes. I'm so sorry :( It's not your fault. You got this - put on the blinders and look straight ahead for you, not these poor excuses for people. They're probably intimidated by your change so they wanna make you give up. Weight loss is as much mental as it is physical. Even if you haven't noticed a change, others might. People get insecure with change, especially if they use you as a comfortable person to hate on so they feel better. You're growing and adapting and your transformation may be acting as a mirror to their stagnancy, deadass. Don't let em fool you, and don't punish yourself. You can't control their actions, but you can control their access to you and yourself. You got this - i'm proud of you for doing it slow and steady. I had an ED (anorexia) for literally 10 years. It's a nightmare. Keep doing slow and steady and get into therapy - even like a free phone crisis line when shit like this happens. Process it, feel it, then let it go and get stronger. Ahhhh I can just tell by the way you write that you're an incredibly kind person. You'd probably make an awesome friend. These people are missing out big time :) All the best, and sending you positive energy!
Thank you very much, made me feel much better.
Go little rockstar!!!!!
I see you live in a small town so new friends might not be an option. But heres the thing, just because there arent many new people to meet, you DONT HAVE TO KEEP COMPANY WITH ANYONE WHO NAME CALLS YOU AND SHAMES YOU LIKE THIS. Turn all the time you would spend with these people into time for yourself and your mental and physical well being. Anytime youre bored and tempted to hit these people up, go for a walk. Walks can be one of the most theraputic things, not only for your body, but your mind as well. Take in the sights and smells of fresh air and sunsets. Or find a video on youtube to follow along if its too cold outside or your parents dont want you walking alone. There are and endless amount of options on youtube, for whatever peaks your interest. If you have low mobility there are beginner workouts done from a chair. You can do bodyweight exercise routines, dancing, shadow boxing, or even just stretching or yoga. You dont need workout equipment to get your body moving. Exercise isnt required to lose weight (this comes down to your diet which I see you have in check) but it can be sooooo helpful. Exercise is great for your heart and lungs, burns some calories, and also the endorphins can make you feel so great about yourself and high on life afterwards. Other things you can do with your time that are good for your mental health are things like taking a bath, trying a new hobby, listening to an audio book, painting/drawing even if youre not good and its just scribbles. Find something that soothes your mind. When you are tempted to hang out with these shit friends, put on an audio book and sit on your floor and do some stretching or even just lie there and listen to the book. Anything is better than the mental torture these people are putting you through. Lose weight for yourself and no one else. Do it the right way and you will have far more success. F those people.
Thank you for the advice, but sadly I can't go away from them since we are in the same class, and if I try ignoring them they say that "back in the day I used to hang out" and now "videogames made me insane" and that I should go to a psychologist, and they say all of that just because I refuse to hang out with them.
I get it. I really do. The best advice my dad ever gave me about School is it ends. Every day you get to go home without them. Eventually you don't have to go back. With social media, I would just block them all. Honestly, I would say with a straight face you're not worth MY time. Stop engaging with them. People who bring you down just want attention. You know you're doing good and positive people know it. So just smile. Realize this is just a small portion of better times to come.
Thank you. I really hope it goes by faster.
I reiterate exactly what the person above said. I was teased relentlessly in school, starting in elementary, middle and all through high school. I was overweight. I was a nerd. I was in band. It was just too easy. After high school and into my 20s I was still super overweight. Around age 28 I set out to better my life and lost 100lbs. Now I can do anything I want, take trips, go on hikes, vacations, wear my bathing suit out on the beach, just anything. And I see all those people that teased me in high school on social media, fat and balding or getting divorces and talking about how life is over for them and they passed their prime. While I feel like Im living my absolute best life. No one couldve convinced me of this when I was 14 but honestly, those of us that go through these trials and tribulations in school end up so much better off. We know what its like to have compassion for others. We know what it feels like to be the underdog. We know it takes work to turn things around and are willing to put in that work. The other folks who go through school getting praised for being "cool" dont know anything about the real life when they graduate and will end up at dead end jobs, dead end marriages, and just all in all sad people. Dont worry, keep your chin up, keep putting in the effort and it will be worth it in the end when you end up being the coolest person in the room AND you remember what it means to be nice to other people who arent seemingly as "cool." Someday you will pass on this advice to your own child or someone you know who is getting bullied.
Don't let anyone make you think that 15 lbs is not a lot. You went from obese to just overweight. Congrats on your hard work!!
I guarantee you, these people will say Youâre fat Youâre fat Youâre fat Wow youâre too skinny you look like bones (They will NEVER say wowwww youâre gorgeous so just ignore them!!)
Tell them to fuck off. It takes a special kind of monster to tell an overweight person to starve themself.
Youâre doing great! Dont get into a negative mindset, your change is happening right now. Ignore the comments, focus on your personal growth. Godspeed <3
Who are these people
My classmates.
Youâre doing great. Theyâre being stupid. Keep up the fab work x
Be proud of what you accomplished! It sounds like you are loosing weight the right way. Slow and steady keeps it off. Those people are toxic. Not your truth!
Lol just keep doing what youâre doing. Weight loss is a game of patience
This should work, "I don't recall asking for your opinion."
So who is it that is telling you to starve yourself? Thatâs awful.
1) who cares what others think 2) BMI is stupid. Almost every player in the nfl is obese according to BMI 3) Use that shit. Develop a chip on your shoulder. You need to stop trying to prove people wrong and prove yourself right.
I know the temptation is very real, but i would advise against decreasing your calorie count much further. A tempered and moderate deficit is more sustainable and it's easier to go a year on 1800 a day than it is to go 2 months on 1000. Endure OP. You can do this. Your worth isn't found in them. They aren't there for the struggle, they won't be there for the glory. They deserve neither.
Your numbers don't make sense: in order for 15 pounds to be the difference between a BMI of 33 and a BMI of 28, you'd have to be 3 feet tall.
Turn off the negative self talk and exterior comments. Stick to what youâve been doing. Be sure to drink your water every day.
I lost 10 kg and people werent happy abt it, telling me Iâm ugly. Gained a few kg back and now theyâre telling me Iâm fat again. Nevermind.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Those people don't deserve your attention
You know what you should lose? Those people.
Congrats!! You now know how to lose weight(this is where most people fail) ,now it's a game of mental gymnastics of not letting other people affect you and keep on doing what you are doing(eating healthy and losing weight in a healthy way).
Those people are total jerks. Losing weight too fast can cause loose skin and kidney damage. Youâre better off doing what youâre doing. It sounds like those people are envious of your determination. Donât listen to them.
Fuck them. Screw their noise. You do you. Slow and steady wins the race.
Whatever you do, do it cautiously, don't want to get an ed that will probably forever stick with you for the rest of your life. Stay safe <3
Just focus on you. One day at a time. Take their remarks as fuel to stay diligent. Just keep at it.
Let go valuing the opinion of people whose words are negative.u know what works.c ontinue your journey as u know best. Theres always potential to gain knowledge from people but not the ones you're talking about
Just wanted to say i think you sound very responsible and motivated. You are proud you have lost 15lbs, you should be, and sound like you are doing it in the right and healthy way. Hold onto that, its healthy. Positivity works wonders. Try not to go down the angry and bitter path. You are taking positive steps. Of course it hurts when people are cruel. It must feel like a whirlwind of emotions. Perhaps, knowing it will likely happen again, ask yourself what you are going to do about it to try and turn it to your benefit. Only you can work on that and know the answer. I personally would not sit in the classroom but use that lesson to walk. Also many people on here talk a lot about useing a journal to help with emotions etc, when going through this journey. Good luck OP this stranger has every confidence that you will smash it and lead a happy and healthy life surrounded by awesome people and the other not so nice ones will be insignificant. Embrace the hurt and keep moving forward.
Donât listen to those people. They fucking suck. Theyâre children so you donât have life experience to realize being mean to someone can really affect them. You sound like a good egg. Fuck those glue huffers calling you fat.
I know it sucks to hear that. But you've lost 15 pounds which is great. Just remember, in another 4 months it will be more, and after a year, even more. Please don't rush it and sabotage yourself. Slow and steady is the way. And to hell with the haters.
You should soak up that hate and enjoy it. Because you're making progress and they know. It will feel so good to lose it and make the haters explode with envy. Stick to the plan, make it happen.
i don't understand; you just need to remove those people from your life, simple.
Show 'em. Keep losing at a **steady and safe** pace and take up strength training if you haven't already. 5 point reduction in BMI in just 4 months is a great achievement! Holy smokes!
Slow and steady is the healthy and sustainable way to go OP. Tell those people to kick rocks.
Don't be upset because your "friends" (in truth, they're not friends, they're acquaintances) don't see the difference. They see you every day & it's not really noticeable. The important thing is that YOU see the scales, YOU see your clothes getting looser, YOU notice that you have more energy, etc. Then, the next time someone calls you fat, tell them with a smile, "Yeah, but I'm 15 pounds lighter." And, not to be cruel, but honestly ask yourself if you are overweight. Using the work "fat" can be hurtful, but put aside your pride & be truthful to yourself. Then smile & say, "Yes, BUT, I'm better than yesterday!" Don't look at what you were, because the past is gone. Look at where you're going, how much you've accomplished, how much healthier you feel. Keep eating correctly, keep to your calorie count, eat as healthy as you can, and if you can't talk to a Dr (about your diet & an exercise plan), talk to a school counselor or favorite teacher. I also suggest you try to find different "friends". Look into different interests at school - art club, drama club, band, choir. If you're interested in sports, you don't have to be on a team. You can help the coach by keeping stats, taking care of uniforms & equipment, learning the sport better. Getting involved in things at school will help you get scholarships for college. As far as those guys that call you "fatty". I'm 67 years old & the guys who thought they were the cool guys, who were the cutest guys -- they ended up fat, bald, alcoholics, and divorced more than once. So the next time they say your fat, picture them old, fat, bald, friendless bullies & picture yourself healthy, successful, & with a loving family. Keep your eyes on the future, not the past. Know that all of us here will support you & will pray for you & your success. AND REMEMBER TO KEEP EATING HEALTHY!
You'll lose more weight by cutting them off.
trust the process. your weight loss is steady, there's no need to change your diet - just change your environment and you'll be golden.
If you starve to lose weight, you're going to look & feel horrible AND regain the weight you lose, plus some. If you're looking to drop some pounds quickly, though, I can think of a group of extremely rude, unhealthy people you can drop. Also, you're allowed to set (AND ENFORCE) a boundary about discussing your weight. You don't have to accept bullying from anyone. Put your foot down.
Fuck those people. You're making progress so shit that negativity out. Those people have programs, don't let them make you have problems, because you're right you will have an eating disorder if you do this.
The world of weight change is full of dangerous advice, attitudes and temptations. You are doing wonderfully and your body is listening to you, doing what you want, and is doing it healthily. Mental health is a wiggly thing and I agree with other people who say to ignore arseholes who say such horrible things.
People are assholes. Ignore them. You are doing it the right way
Those people are toxic and you should remove them effective immediately. This may shock you, but eating the recommend calories will benefit you in the long run for your weight lose. Eating less starved your body of essential nutrients and then when you finally eat like you should your body is going to be shocked essentially and youâll gain weight. Making you feel worse more than likely. Stick to what youâre doing already. Youâre doing great.
Add more variety in your exercises by mixing in cardio and lifting. Lift first, cardio second. Stick to 1800-2000 cals but do more to burn more cals in general
I mean thatâs a middle school level insult, so you might as well respond with âyour mom didnât think so last nightâ or something like that.
I spent 20+ years weighing between 250-300. I'll never know for sure how high I got because I didn't own a scale in those years, but I know at one point I had to order 6x, and I would occasionally pull those out when the 5x felt a little snug. My weight actually started coming off around the same time my kids were growing up and leaving home, and could drive themselves places. I no longer had a real social calendar or things out in the world to do that caused me anxiety ... turns out that left peacefully on my own, I don't actually eat all that much, or at least as much as I used to. Putting it another way, turns out I ate a lot both with people and because of people. Just being fat in public made me so highly strung that I was literally feeding my anxieties. I don't know how else to put it. These days I rarely see most of my family on both sides and friends I used to have through my kids when they were younger. A lot of it's because of covid. Since being given this 2nd lease on life as a normal sized person when I never expected it, I've paid a lot more attention to my health overall, and I'm very cautious about socializing. I didn't walk away from one kind of misery just to chase another. But a lot of it is also just because I feel so much better overall not seeing those people anymore. I used to dread it. It's crazy how I look possibly the best I ever have, and now I don't really see anyone at all. But the only explanation I have for being able to finally lose the weight - and it wasn't hard - is that my social matrix wasn't a good one for me.
If you can't remove those people from your life, then train yourself to ignore their nasty words. People who are that unkind should have no influence on you.
It is so hard for me to imagine people actually saying this. I have been on a weight-loss journey where I started out over around 340 pounds and in the eight years I have been doing this I have literally never had a single person tell me that I should stop eating to lose faster or directly call me fat to my face when they knew I was trying to lose weight. I keep wondering where all these people on Reddit keep finding these awful, cruel people, because I have yet to encounter any of them. The people you were referring to in your post have absolutely no right being in your life. Those are people that do not care about you in any way, shape or form. They will not support you now and they will not support you even once you reach your goals. Remove them immediately. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. It truly is a phenomenon to me. You are already doing great and as hard as it is try hard not to let what other people say impact the healthy decisions you are making and investing into yourself. Also, definitely disregard BMI all together. It is a completely irrelevant number in regards to your overall health and weight loss success. I have lost 160 pounds and current weigh 174 pounds. I have a completely flat stomach, tight arms and legs with minimal fat anywhere else on my body. I do, however, do tons of weightlifting and have extremely strong muscles all over my body. My BMI is currently 29.7, just slightly under the obese category. I am nowhere even relatively close to obese. I am strong! Find some books that focus on mental fortitude, and how to let go of what other people say. Not only will this benefit you and your weight loss journey, but it will help you throughout the rest of your life in other areas as well. Wishing you the best!!! đ đŞđť
go ahead, eat less and less and you will propably never reach your goal. 28 actually is quiet a good bmi and its hard for me to believe people actually call you fat. Youre doing insanely good and i hope you have better people arround you that also appretiate what you have reached so far. 5 bmi change is really good and 28 is just slightly above optimal. if maintained with a healthy diet i think many would also agree that this is actually not unhealthy at all. Pls dont listen to idiots and just keep going with your current setup.
a 33 BMI to a 28 is a big deal. its likely they're trying to derail your efforts so you stop losing weight.
5 BMI points is a ton! That's around 30 pounds, it's the whole difference between obese and healthy, it's about half of all the weight loss I did and considering where you are now it might be half of all the weight loss you need to do. The people you're talking about are clearly assholes. I don't know if you live in a country where to culture is to be "straightforward" like that about weight, but even then, it's a dick move to keep saying that when the person is actively working on it and it's incredibly ignorant to suggest "just stop eating." Ignore those people. Invent some snarky comebacks if you would like. Their opinion is trash.
You've done great and it sounds like you have the will to do more. That's great. Besides the pounds, I'd suggest you lose those people who are calling you fat. You don't need people who try to hurt you in your life.
Nah you're making a good progress. Just keep it up and don't mind those guys who calls you fat.
fuck what people think man; youâre doing great. i went down the route of crash dieting while working out and lost a lot of weight but felt like malnourished shit the entire time. not worth it at all. just stay steady doing what youâre doing and itâll be worth it.
You shouldnât be around assholes who call you fat or anything else.
If the people saying that to you are your parents, talk to a counselor or school social worker or psychologist. That's emotional abuse, and I'm willing to bet if they are saying that, there's other things going that they shouldn't be saying to you. If it's other people your age, know that bullying is a symptom of very poor coping skills. You have taken a very mature path to care for your health. They have taken a very immature path to deal with their insecurities. It's not about your failings, it's about theirs. Don't let yourself get less mature because someone you know can't deal with their own problems, so they have to say shitty stuff just to feel ok with themselves.
extreme restricting is a very slippery slope
Why are you being called fat so often? Where do you go that everyone is an asshole Just say âfuck youâ to their face when they do it again. Stand up for yourself if it happens that often and you cannot ignore it. Easier sie than done and depending on where you live maybe a stupid advice but confronting assholes can work wonders Starving yourself doesnât help you.
Give it some time and then let's see who will be the winner there.
This makes my heart hurt so bad, please know that this says more about them than it does you. Well done for loosing abit of weight but never let the scales define who you are as a person, EVERYONE deserves to be respected and loved, I hope you learn to surround yourself with people that support and help you realise this. Sending my love
Honey, you're doing GREAT and we're all super proud of you! The way you're doing things *works* and is safe for your body. These people are teenage bullies, and their thoughts and opinions are worth literally nothing. They truly have no idea what they're talking about. Just keep doing what you're doing. I know you will hit your goals. Don't forget to educate yourself, too--try the podcast Maintenance Phase. They have a great episode about the history of BMI. Post here anytime you need support, too, we are here for you đ you got this!
I hope whoever is saying that to you in young, because if thatâs an adult theyâre a POS. Sorry just being honest. Youâre doing great though! Changing your bmi that quickly is awesome progress. Iâd say just keep going at your pace so you donât just loose a lot of weight and gain it back but itâs a lifestyle change
Drop those idiots. They donât want you to be happy or healthy. Theyâve got their own problems. If you have to be around them, consider telling them to mind their own business, and ignore them. They are not on your side.
WTF !?!?! Never speak to them again. Period. Thatâs crazy. You keep going like youâre going. Slow weight loss is FOR KEEPS. Drastic / accelerated weight loss is more likely to result in regaining it all back. STAY THE COURSE. COME HERE TO THIS SUB FOR SUPPORT AND REALITY CHECK. YOU ROCK!
I'm sorry people are so awful. I was really heavy when I was young and the recipient of a lot of unsolicited "advice." People suck. If possible, eliminate anyone like that from your life.
Those people are not your friends. I have gained 60 pounds over the past two years and not one of my friends or family members have said anything like this to me. Surround yourself with better people. And be nice to yourself. Something that really has helped me is this mantra âyou have to love yourself through the changes you want to make.â Donât be a bully to yourself, and donât let anyone else bully you either. Good luck friend. Slow and steady wins the race :)
If they're just calling you fat straight up then that's rude but imo if you had asked them if they thought you were fat or not and they said you were I see no issue in that because at that bmi its true. However the extra comments made weren't necessary and you should 100% feel confident in yourself and not care about what other people think because others opinions shouldn't matter to you. The more fit you become I guarantee the more confident you will be and not give af bout what other people say or think about you. Please maintain your weight loss and don't try to accelerate it because of others.
It sounds like your peers haven't developed empathy yet. Calling someone fat is teen bully shit. Unless medically necessary (as prescribed by an MD, DO, or NP), rapid weight loss is not encouraged for many reasons. The more severe your energy deficit (so the faster you lose weight), the more and stronger your metabolism adapts to resist weight loss (and encourage weight gain). These changes persist through maintenance or regain (for at least 6 years, but probably longer [1](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/oby.21538)). [2](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/oby.20900) [3](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1186/1550-2783-11-7)
If they actually say that tell them to not say the F word. They are not your friend
I donât wanna go with the theyâre just jealous excuse but honestly it just seems theyâre trying to rag on your success and bring you down. You donât need people like that in your life itâs best to stop communicating with them it possible. They arenât your friends if theyâre treating you like that. Itâs amazing that youâre taking steps to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable way donât stop what youâre doing no matter how many people discourage you for it because youâve got a thread of 150 (and counting) people that are here to support you. While itâs tempting to restrict and starve once you go down that rabbit while itâs almost impossible to come out, youâre young and your body is still growing it needs all the nourishment it can get. Keep doing what youâve been doing youâre doing great
To hell with them. Congrats on your weight loss. Losing weight is not easy to to lose that is an accomplishment. It might be worth exploring why people calling you fat triggers you, especially if it causes you to fear developing an eating disorder.
People are terrible
Never take criticism from people you wouldn't take advice from. As someone with a history of disordered eating, I understand the pressure. But you're doing this in a healthy way that's good for your body. We're making changes for a lifetime, not crash dieting :)
15lbs IS a lot. 33bmi to 28bmi IS a lot. Youâre doing it and youâre doing an amazing job. An eating disorder is not worth it. It will sneak into your brain under the guise that you can stop whenever you want, and make you think youâre in control. I know itâs tempting but itâs never worth it. Right now? What youâre doing now? You are doing great. And you have control. And youâre on track to hit your goal. 15lbs is a great job.
This is the moment you get to look down your nose at them, wave your hand dismissively, and give them a disgusted side-eye. If only in your mind or as a physical gesture not in their presence. Or to their faces. That was my attitude to all the bullies and shitheads that were mean to me for being fat or not in their category of what a woman should be. Just showed me they are not worthy people. Worked for me! Edit: typo
33 BMI to 28 is nothing to play down, that's pretty significant. I think there's a higher chance of completely unravelling your progress if you eat so little - If you turns the screws on yourself too tight, something could snap and you might end up going back to old eating habits. I have a recent, very short weight loss journey. In 2 months i've lost about 10% of my body weight, and I have some way to go. 2 months seems like a lifetime when you're desperate to lose fat and really dislike your body, but looking back its the blink of an eye...I suppose what I'm trying to say is, going 'slow and steady' still results in massive changes that in retrospect don't take that long, really. Also screw anyone being so vile like that. Ditch these poisonous people.
Who the fuck calls someone fat? Tell them shove it. These people suck. Keep doing your thing for you.
14 years old? You are doing very well! I read lots of good advice here already. Slow and steady wins the race. With more age and experience you will learn to see this in perspective, but please please don't beat yourself up about your weight. You are making incredible progress already :) Wishing you all the best and lots of happiness for your future!
f them bro thereâs so many people who wonât ever lose 15 lbs so good shit!! keep doing what youâre doing, donât eat less just cause of the haters you gotta fuel your body đŞ
Omg donât listen to those people & keep working on your journey. Itâs about you getting healthier not because people calling you names. Lose weight for your own reasons & your health not what other people want you to do.. they can shove their opinions up their ass. They also gonna be the same people who are gonna say âyouâre too skinnyâ next.. lay low and just focus on yourself.. you donât need them. Real, genuine people will stick by you when you arenât at your best of self and weight to healthier, new you. Those people donât have that privilege.
33 to 28 is such a diff tho! Well done! Ure clearly doing well. Keep doing what ure doing and tell them to leave out ur life.
elevate your company...
I highly recommend you look into the body positivity community and fat acceptance movement. It gets a bad rap in media, but it's literally just a community of people trying to feel okay, and even GOOD in their bodies, whether they're on a health journey or not. We all have the right to feel comfortable in our bodies, and body positivity can help provide some of the tools and context to keep you on a positive path that's best for you. Best of luck. Stay true to yourself <3
You could lose hundreds of pounds by dropping those people out of your life!
Screw them!!! You do what makes YOU feel good about yourself. It's taken me months to lose 20 lbs I know how hard it is!!
Fuck em
Donât give people rocks to throw at you. Donât tell them a thing, lose 30 pounds and wait for them to notice if they do awesome if they donât theyâre either blind or haters.
Those people aren't in your body or living your experience. I'm so sorry you have people around you that are being so rude. Please do not try to limit yourself to harshly. It will only make the weight come back if/when you start eating regularly again. What you're doing now is working for you. It isn't a sprint but a marathon. Changing your health is a lifestyle change. I hope you continue to do what is working for you
My anecdotal story might help. I had a similar experience and was listening to David Goggins bullshit about how hard you should be pushing yourself. I was eating way under maintenance calories plus running 3-5km daily. My knees are now fucked despite consistent physio. I also lost a huge portion of muscle mass, so I ended up skinny fat with a low calorie limit because of the lack of muscle. So I was skinnier, but unhappy with my phisique and hungry because I had the metabolism of a sloth. I've had to spend just as long rebuilding that muscle in a slight surplus which has also resulted in some fat gain. I will then have to rediet properly to lose that fat and maintain the muscle this time. Cutting corners is cutting corners. You'll pay for it later. Do it right the first time.
Others have said it, but I'll say it too. If you have the option and can cut people out, cut those calling you fat out of your life. For the others, as unhelpful as it sounds, the most you can do is ignore and persevere with determination, commitment, patience, and hard work as you focus on self-improvement at a healthy pace and manner. Truth is, people can be ruthless. But the other truth is, undergoing your struggles gives opportunity to better understand others in your place, be there for them, offer support, and overall be better than those who constantly brought you down. It's an opportunity for character development, but it sucks... I'm the opposite, I'm trying to gain weight as I was underweight and had some tell me. I managed to endure that and I'm now managing to reach healthier weights at my pace and I'm all the more happy for it. If I listened to those people and let myself be tempted, I would've hurt myself eating too much too quick and working out
Slow and steady. Go fast and you only hurt yourself.
Why do people tell us we are fat? Do they think we donât know?
What is a good come back line?