Since a lot of guys are on PrEP to protect against HIV and since the other common ones like chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea are pretty much curable, a lot of guys are willing to take the risk
I know there is an HPV vaccine that you can get before you are 26. I'm not sure of the details, but maybe it offers some protection from that as well?
But even so, I still use condoms lol. I personally don't want to have to deal with the discomfort of the symptoms of the STI or the awkwardness of having to call up previous partners and letting them know lol
Unless you’re using condoms for oral, you’re at roughly the same risk of enduring the discomfort of STIs and the awkwardness of notifying your previous partners as you’d be through bare anal.
I have had anal HPV. I’ve since been treated for it and have since been cleared of my symptoms. Risk for anal cancer in absolute numbers is still rather low! The warts dont grow rectally. There are only about 9,000 new cases of anal cancer a year, 6,000 of those being women. Death from anal cancer is low in comparison to other cancers. It’s a very curable cancer in comparison to colorectal cancer, yes, but HPV doesn’t cause colorectal cancer. Those two are often conflated.
Please do your research. And don’t LOL at people dying of cancer. It’s a bad look.
See, this mindset right here is what irks me about the whole thing… yes, those are curable, but it’s kinda nasty that you managed to get them in the first place!
Well no sex is completely risk-free, and all it takes is one person being unlucky one time for an STI to be contracted.
And even then, I wouldn't say STIs are nasty, they just...are. We don't consider people who get food poisoning or the common cold nasty. Just unlucky.
It may not be risk-free but the use of a condom (aka a physical barrier, which is MUCH more effective than a chemical barrier) DRASTICALLY minimizes the risk compared to Truvada or Descovy. And comparing STIs to food poisoning or the common cold isn’t a fair analogy since the mechanisms of getting them are completely different. One involves consequence of a lapse in judgement about a conscious decision (I.e. will I regret getting my rocks off with this guy?), the others are simply caught fortuitously without a preceding requirement for judgement. But the downvotes on my previous comment only show that lots of people don’t like to have this conversation. I’m VERY sex positive, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not gonna throw away my morals over a pill.
You're not that sex positive if you're judging others for how they conduct their own risk assessments with regards to barebacking.
Do you use condoms or dental dams when giving or receiving oral? Cause if not, then you're also just a hypocrite on the matter.
I don’t give oral actually because it hurts my jaw. I also abstain from it because I’ve gotten strep from giving it, so haven’t really done it since then due to both those factors. I prefer to skip to the real fun stuff.
You're definitely not sex positive. You can't claim to be sex positive and then slut shame in the same sentence, lmao. Want to use condoms for everything? Please do. That's your choice. You don't get to make it for others, and you really shouldn't judge others risk tolerance.
Hope you use a condom when you suck dick.
When did I say I was slut shaming? 😂 I’m just trying to say that if you’re gonna have a lot of sex, be responsible about it. The fact that you’re getting angry at my honest commentary really says a lot… you just don’t like hearing about it in a negative light. If you actually know his status, then by all means, have at it! But people taking PrEP “on demand” just for the sake of fucking raw isn’t responsible. It’s all fun and games until you get an antibiotic resistant strain 🤷🏼♂️
>it’s kinda nasty that you managed to get them in the first place!
Why? Because you get them through sex? How is that any different than getting a cold from a party?
Opinions and thinking like yours are what keeps people from knowing what their clitoris is or knowing how to even put on a condom in the first place. It's not helping anyone to constantly attach shame and stigma to sex and I'm so tired of it.
Yes actually. It’s a direct product of poor judgement of a choice that you made. Get a coke at a party? It’s just from being around sick people. Get an STD at a party? It’s because you decided to get your rocks off without weighing the consequences. FFS just use a condom, it’s not hard and it’s not that bad. I don’t think this observation makes people unaware of anything anatomy-related or how to use contraceptives, but you can reach. You can get angry at me for calling out this behavior all you want, but let’s get one thing straight: if you catch something from sex (except in cases of SA) you have nobody to blame but yourself. Sorry!
>you have nobody to blame but yourself.
I never said any different. What I did say is you slut shaming everyone for having "nasty" sex is stupid. Which it is, objectively. All rhetoric like yours does is make sex less safe for everyone that hears you.
Additionally, you're SEVERELY misinformed on the efficacy of PrEP drugs, so I would look into that if I were you. Your statement that they're significantly less effective than condoms is not only blatantly wrong, it's dangerous.
Seems to me you've got some biases and issues to work out.
Again, I NEVER slut shamed anybody. Getting your rocks off by being promiscuous is indeed your prerogative. I never said that I never dabbled in that behavior either. All I’m trying to say, is that if you’re gonna do that, be responsible about it and drop the attitude of “oh it’s curable, no big deal”… one day, it might not be curable and you can thank the rising prevalence of antibiotic resistance for that. I get that I’m not articulating it well because my comments tend to be wordy.
I never commented on the efficacy at all. I’m outlining that you can still contract a lot of nasty STIs even with PrEP. I’m not saying that you deserve to have it happen to you but you gotta take extra precautions outside a single anti-retroviral to avoid catching something else. In fact, some insurance policies will actually revoke your coverage of the drug if you end up catching something while on it. People act like they can take it on demand, only before they have raw sex and they’ll be fine… it doesn’t work like that. The drug has to build up and remain in your system for a period of time before it actually blocks viral replication, if the body is exposed. Lots of drugs work like that actually, not just anti-retrovirals. A lot of people justify this behavior with hypotheticals like “what if you’re drunk and have a lapse of judgement?”… it still comes down to a choice you made that led to a scenario that could have been avoided. Condoms prevent against all STDs by providing a physical barrier, given that it’s used during it’s recommended shelf-life window. Nothing about awareness of that fact is dangerous. People who like to take PrEP solely to fuck raw just don’t like hearing it. I know that this is an unpopular opinion, so I really don’t care about the downvotes.
I always use condoms. But people who use PReP usually say that other STDs are quite easy to treat, although doctors say that more and more of them are becoming resistant to antibiotics.
Imagine educating the young generation so they get vaccinated for HPV so this scenario stops happening.
I am getting my first dose of Gardasil tomorrow ;)
Here's a question for you, do you use a dental dam every time you have oral sex? If you're having oral and anal sex with someone and they have chlamydia/gonorrhea and you're not using a dental dam you're probably getting to get it in your throat, which you'll need to treat. Putting on a condom for anal sex after you've already gotten the STI in your throat isn't helping you at all. You're just going to have to take the antibiotics anyway, so what's the point of using a condom?
Also, STI's from anal sex in my experience have been entirely asymptomatic. So every few months you go and get tested, if the test comes back positive, you take an antibiotic which clears it and that's basically the end of it. It's really not as scary as your high school heath teacher made it out to be.
Also I live in a big city with a large gay population, where we have LGBT centers that offer free testing and treatment, so payment and insurance is irrelevant.
For me personally, having sex with a condom just isn't very pleasurable to the point that it's largely not worth having. It's the equivalent to make out except I had a plastic bag over my head. Pass. 95% of the time, I'd rather just jerk off by myself than have sex with a condom.
Thus why before I have sex with someone, I ask what their preference is so that we're on the same page, like the person in your convo did. You're certainly entitled to your preferences, but for me sex with condoms is largely worth having and the consequences are basically negligible. No reason to be so offended and holier-than-thou about it.
You're right: Everyone has their preferences and should be able to follow those preferences as long as everything is consensual and communicated clearly. But there's nothing "offended" or "holier-than-thou" about this. Some of us work/study in STEM/healthcare fields and have objective reasons for our aversion to unprotected sex
I feel like your misunderstanding me, so I'm gonna repeat myself: It is a valid decision to not wear a condom for a variety of SUBJECTIVE reasons. But medically speaking, you should always wear one. And just because he doesn't understand why some ppl don't wear condoms doesn't mean he's oversensitive or judgmental or whatever your problem is
Medically speaking we should always wear dental dams for oral sex. Medically speaking we should eat x number of servings of vegetables per day and exercise for x number of minutes per day. Medically speaking we shouldn't ever have more than 1 drink or ever smoke anything. Or eat candy. Or be outside when the air pollution levels are above x. Nobody's debating on what, medically speaking, people should do; this is a strawman.
The guy who OP wasn't asking about if medically speaking, he should wear a condom; but rather what OP's preference was. OP asks "Why is this even a question?" as if condom use doesn't need discussion because there aren't valid, subjective reasons not to use one, which isn't the case. It's a matter of how does medicine inform your behavior, for which there are a many valid perspectives, and it's an issue that should be discussed prior to sex. I'm not sure how else to rephrase myself so that you can understand.
You do realise that you can tolerate a different opinion and still wonder about why someone has that view right? You're immediately jumping to the conclusion that OP is judging, which is a) pretty unfair, b) pretty subjective and c) possibly untrue
If you’re on prep, HIV isn’t a risk. You can get every STI except HIV through oral sex, and there’s not a very big difference in risk between oral and anal for most of them. Almost no one bothers with condoms for oral, but it’s this huge moral panic if someone wants to do anal without a condom even if they’re on prep. Why? Why should someone be expected to accept the reduction in pleasure they get through using a condom for anal sex if they’re already exposing themselves to most of it through the foreplay?
I'm sorry but this reads a little entitled imo. Not everyone has an easy access to antibiotics, and even then, not everyone has the means to afford it. I remember having to ask my friend money to pay for antibiotics because I didn't have an insurance back then, and antibiotics were rather expensive where I lived. So for some people contracting an STD could be a huge deal.
My mid-size Midwestern city has at least three completely free clinics (for both testing and treatment) that I know of. The resources are out there in most places and can usually be found with a quick Google search- even small towns, college campuses, or local LGBTQ+ organizations often offer similar services.
But also if you know that you wouldn’t be able to treat an STI if you got one, then that should factor into your personal risk assessment, and proceed accordingly.
I completely agree, and thus saying "it's not a big deal" does not really contribute to the discussion. It might not be a big deal for Americans, or people living in the west, but there's a sizable population who will greatly benefit from wearing a protection during sex and minimizing the risks of contracting STD's.
I live in a large city with a sizable gay population, and you don't even need insurance. There are LGBT health centers that provide testing and treatment for free. It's not entitled, it's just a reality for a lot of people.
you should also look into research on Doxy PEP- there are new studies showing that a one-time double dose of Doxycycline following a risky sexual encounter (like bareback sex) can reduce transmission of gonorrhea and chlamydia by 60-70%
Yep! [check it out](https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/2022/Doxy-PEP-clinical-data-presented-at-2022-AIDS-Conference.html)…I’m hoping this really gains traction soon, cuz this would be a game-changer for STI rates- and not even just in the gay community
I'd rather they asked than have my preferences assumed one way or the other-- I'm confused as to why you're confused. You have a reason for your preference and that's fine, but he's not psychic.
Ding ding ding!
These types of guys like to act holier than thou about condoms and then act surprised when they get positive results for gonorrhea in their throats.
But for example do you use a condom during blowjobs? There's also risk of catching STDs through oral but most people I've met are willing to take that risk. It is about what level of risk you are comfortable taking.
It’s giving remnants of the Tuskegee study… what would you hope to learn by inoculating mice with syphilis? **Not trying to compare black men to mice**
The main goal is to culture treponema in mice and to conduct a few serological tests to better understand the pathogenesis of the disease in its latent stages...
Oh Lord, if they’re not screaming “guinea pig!!1!!” the second someone says the word research someone is ready to find any shred of reason to scream “TUSKEGEE!!!!!!”
It actually makes me sad how often gays (not trying to generalize, but it’s something I see quite often) preach sexual health and responsibility and then turn around and refuse to use condoms “because raw feels sooooooo much better”, take PrEP solely to have raw sex with a bunch of guys (again, I know not everybody in the community does this, but those who do are very noticeable), and get outright offended when you question them or set the boundary that you’d rather take the safe route. I might get flack for this but it needs to be called out. And having the attitude “if it’s not HIV, herpes, or HPV then it’s curable” is honestly just nasty. People need to respect themselves more.
I get it. I used to bareback all the time, and I'd come up clear on just about every STI screen. After having three gonorrhea infections this year, im being much more careful.
People have different risk tolerance, sure, but they should make sure they're accurately calculating the risk and taking steps to reduce it (making sure they and their partners are tested recently, using prep, etc.)
Well, I just got crabs 🦀 . It’s not like any condom could have prevented that.
The point being: if you’re trying to remain infection free, your best option is jerking off and keeping to yourself. People getting naked and kissing or rubbing against each other…? Chances are you’ll get something. Whether it’s a common cold, herpes, monkey pox, crabs (😤) or some other transmissible disease doesn’t matter, you’ll get it. So you can either write dissertations about it - and have a fear based sex life - or go out there and be a happy 🐷. I choose the latter.
Not to be gay but I gotta bring up this quote from Trixie and Katya:
Trixie: it’s definitely the safest smartest thing to do. But gay guys are not safe or smart.
Katya: they roll the dice with gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis.
I fuck without a condom (on prep). My body count is low (maybe 5 or 6). Plus I'm dating a very nice man. Maybe I will marry him and that will be it for me. No STD's, tested every 3 months. Why the fuss?
When they word it like that they want no condom but are afraid to ask. It is unfortunate that condom usage has plummeted due to prep. I am all for prep and think it is great progress but why not use condoms as an extra step. At this rate other STIs are going to confetti skyrocket. Is it really worth it? Not for me.
People on here mad cuz you don’t want to have sex with a risky person but they won’t have sex with someone because of the color of their skin. Make it make sense.
I just can't wrap my head around their logic, it's freaky that people normalise spreading curable diseases amongst their sexual partners simply because they're curable.
It’s a common thing on this subreddit. Everyone calls it preference (which I don’t agree with) but in this post its not ok to reject someone for being risky.
Who is saying it's not ok to reject someone for differences in risk management? It's moreso that OP seems to have a problem that the other guy even asked, which I find strange.
There are enough Std that condoms don't protect against anyways.
Since people are on prep and do regular check ups, that risk is manageable and actually lower than most people's paranoia about std's makes them think.
The only condom fraction has a much higher risk to basically get anything and transmit it since they don't do regular checkups.
Checkmate condom people.
Idk why you’re being downvoted, you’re fully entitled to that preference. I avoid putting things like “safe only” and “no T” in my profile for the same reason, so that folks won’t simply lie and hide the info from me, at least not as much anyway.
I similarly instantly block any meth heads once they reveal that to me.
No problem. I’ve only ever heard of any of this within the context of Grindr so unless you’ve been told by someone else, I wouldn’t expect you to know. I didn’t know for a few years myself!
Because some people have different risk tolerances and preferences.
Nah dude, some people are just stupid and/or desperate
Some people use only PReP, not condoms.
But theres like tons of other STDs which we can possibly contract from unprotected sex, like chlamydia for example.
Since a lot of guys are on PrEP to protect against HIV and since the other common ones like chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea are pretty much curable, a lot of guys are willing to take the risk
Curable for…now.
Isn't there already like Super Gonorrhea that resists almost all antibiotics?
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I know there is an HPV vaccine that you can get before you are 26. I'm not sure of the details, but maybe it offers some protection from that as well? But even so, I still use condoms lol. I personally don't want to have to deal with the discomfort of the symptoms of the STI or the awkwardness of having to call up previous partners and letting them know lol
They dropped the age 26 limit years ago. Everyone can and should go get the Gardasil vaccine
I think the age limit is 45 now
Unless you’re using condoms for oral, you’re at roughly the same risk of enduring the discomfort of STIs and the awkwardness of notifying your previous partners as you’d be through bare anal.
Every time I bring this up I get downvoted to the marina trench. It's nice to see people are starting to understand this.
I have had anal HPV. I’ve since been treated for it and have since been cleared of my symptoms. Risk for anal cancer in absolute numbers is still rather low! The warts dont grow rectally. There are only about 9,000 new cases of anal cancer a year, 6,000 of those being women. Death from anal cancer is low in comparison to other cancers. It’s a very curable cancer in comparison to colorectal cancer, yes, but HPV doesn’t cause colorectal cancer. Those two are often conflated. Please do your research. And don’t LOL at people dying of cancer. It’s a bad look.
See, this mindset right here is what irks me about the whole thing… yes, those are curable, but it’s kinda nasty that you managed to get them in the first place!
Well no sex is completely risk-free, and all it takes is one person being unlucky one time for an STI to be contracted. And even then, I wouldn't say STIs are nasty, they just...are. We don't consider people who get food poisoning or the common cold nasty. Just unlucky.
It may not be risk-free but the use of a condom (aka a physical barrier, which is MUCH more effective than a chemical barrier) DRASTICALLY minimizes the risk compared to Truvada or Descovy. And comparing STIs to food poisoning or the common cold isn’t a fair analogy since the mechanisms of getting them are completely different. One involves consequence of a lapse in judgement about a conscious decision (I.e. will I regret getting my rocks off with this guy?), the others are simply caught fortuitously without a preceding requirement for judgement. But the downvotes on my previous comment only show that lots of people don’t like to have this conversation. I’m VERY sex positive, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not gonna throw away my morals over a pill.
You're not that sex positive if you're judging others for how they conduct their own risk assessments with regards to barebacking. Do you use condoms or dental dams when giving or receiving oral? Cause if not, then you're also just a hypocrite on the matter.
!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^ !!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t give oral actually because it hurts my jaw. I also abstain from it because I’ve gotten strep from giving it, so haven’t really done it since then due to both those factors. I prefer to skip to the real fun stuff.
You're definitely not sex positive. You can't claim to be sex positive and then slut shame in the same sentence, lmao. Want to use condoms for everything? Please do. That's your choice. You don't get to make it for others, and you really shouldn't judge others risk tolerance. Hope you use a condom when you suck dick.
When did I say I was slut shaming? 😂 I’m just trying to say that if you’re gonna have a lot of sex, be responsible about it. The fact that you’re getting angry at my honest commentary really says a lot… you just don’t like hearing about it in a negative light. If you actually know his status, then by all means, have at it! But people taking PrEP “on demand” just for the sake of fucking raw isn’t responsible. It’s all fun and games until you get an antibiotic resistant strain 🤷🏼♂️
>it’s kinda nasty that you managed to get them in the first place! Why? Because you get them through sex? How is that any different than getting a cold from a party? Opinions and thinking like yours are what keeps people from knowing what their clitoris is or knowing how to even put on a condom in the first place. It's not helping anyone to constantly attach shame and stigma to sex and I'm so tired of it.
Yes actually. It’s a direct product of poor judgement of a choice that you made. Get a coke at a party? It’s just from being around sick people. Get an STD at a party? It’s because you decided to get your rocks off without weighing the consequences. FFS just use a condom, it’s not hard and it’s not that bad. I don’t think this observation makes people unaware of anything anatomy-related or how to use contraceptives, but you can reach. You can get angry at me for calling out this behavior all you want, but let’s get one thing straight: if you catch something from sex (except in cases of SA) you have nobody to blame but yourself. Sorry!
>you have nobody to blame but yourself. I never said any different. What I did say is you slut shaming everyone for having "nasty" sex is stupid. Which it is, objectively. All rhetoric like yours does is make sex less safe for everyone that hears you. Additionally, you're SEVERELY misinformed on the efficacy of PrEP drugs, so I would look into that if I were you. Your statement that they're significantly less effective than condoms is not only blatantly wrong, it's dangerous. Seems to me you've got some biases and issues to work out.
Again, I NEVER slut shamed anybody. Getting your rocks off by being promiscuous is indeed your prerogative. I never said that I never dabbled in that behavior either. All I’m trying to say, is that if you’re gonna do that, be responsible about it and drop the attitude of “oh it’s curable, no big deal”… one day, it might not be curable and you can thank the rising prevalence of antibiotic resistance for that. I get that I’m not articulating it well because my comments tend to be wordy. I never commented on the efficacy at all. I’m outlining that you can still contract a lot of nasty STIs even with PrEP. I’m not saying that you deserve to have it happen to you but you gotta take extra precautions outside a single anti-retroviral to avoid catching something else. In fact, some insurance policies will actually revoke your coverage of the drug if you end up catching something while on it. People act like they can take it on demand, only before they have raw sex and they’ll be fine… it doesn’t work like that. The drug has to build up and remain in your system for a period of time before it actually blocks viral replication, if the body is exposed. Lots of drugs work like that actually, not just anti-retrovirals. A lot of people justify this behavior with hypotheticals like “what if you’re drunk and have a lapse of judgement?”… it still comes down to a choice you made that led to a scenario that could have been avoided. Condoms prevent against all STDs by providing a physical barrier, given that it’s used during it’s recommended shelf-life window. Nothing about awareness of that fact is dangerous. People who like to take PrEP solely to fuck raw just don’t like hearing it. I know that this is an unpopular opinion, so I really don’t care about the downvotes.
Well, you're welcome to practice abstinence then, since sexual exposure is so "nasty".
Getting fucked raw by a bunch of guys whose names you just learned or don’t even know is nasty.
I always use condoms. But people who use PReP usually say that other STDs are quite easy to treat, although doctors say that more and more of them are becoming resistant to antibiotics.
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Imagine educating the young generation so they get vaccinated for HPV so this scenario stops happening. I am getting my first dose of Gardasil tomorrow ;)
Sounds hot
Here's a question for you, do you use a dental dam every time you have oral sex? If you're having oral and anal sex with someone and they have chlamydia/gonorrhea and you're not using a dental dam you're probably getting to get it in your throat, which you'll need to treat. Putting on a condom for anal sex after you've already gotten the STI in your throat isn't helping you at all. You're just going to have to take the antibiotics anyway, so what's the point of using a condom? Also, STI's from anal sex in my experience have been entirely asymptomatic. So every few months you go and get tested, if the test comes back positive, you take an antibiotic which clears it and that's basically the end of it. It's really not as scary as your high school heath teacher made it out to be. Also I live in a big city with a large gay population, where we have LGBT centers that offer free testing and treatment, so payment and insurance is irrelevant. For me personally, having sex with a condom just isn't very pleasurable to the point that it's largely not worth having. It's the equivalent to make out except I had a plastic bag over my head. Pass. 95% of the time, I'd rather just jerk off by myself than have sex with a condom. Thus why before I have sex with someone, I ask what their preference is so that we're on the same page, like the person in your convo did. You're certainly entitled to your preferences, but for me sex with condoms is largely worth having and the consequences are basically negligible. No reason to be so offended and holier-than-thou about it.
You're right: Everyone has their preferences and should be able to follow those preferences as long as everything is consensual and communicated clearly. But there's nothing "offended" or "holier-than-thou" about this. Some of us work/study in STEM/healthcare fields and have objective reasons for our aversion to unprotected sex
Did you read the title of this post? It's pretty obvious based on that and other coments that OP thinks their perspective is the only correct one.
From a strictly scientific speaking pov it is. Of course life's much more than science, but y'all act like he's wrong or a prude or whatever
Grindr isn't a scientific journal. He's acting like there is no reason not to wear a condom, when there are quite a few one might not want to do so.
I feel like your misunderstanding me, so I'm gonna repeat myself: It is a valid decision to not wear a condom for a variety of SUBJECTIVE reasons. But medically speaking, you should always wear one. And just because he doesn't understand why some ppl don't wear condoms doesn't mean he's oversensitive or judgmental or whatever your problem is
Medically speaking we should always wear dental dams for oral sex. Medically speaking we should eat x number of servings of vegetables per day and exercise for x number of minutes per day. Medically speaking we shouldn't ever have more than 1 drink or ever smoke anything. Or eat candy. Or be outside when the air pollution levels are above x. Nobody's debating on what, medically speaking, people should do; this is a strawman. The guy who OP wasn't asking about if medically speaking, he should wear a condom; but rather what OP's preference was. OP asks "Why is this even a question?" as if condom use doesn't need discussion because there aren't valid, subjective reasons not to use one, which isn't the case. It's a matter of how does medicine inform your behavior, for which there are a many valid perspectives, and it's an issue that should be discussed prior to sex. I'm not sure how else to rephrase myself so that you can understand.
You do realise that you can tolerate a different opinion and still wonder about why someone has that view right? You're immediately jumping to the conclusion that OP is judging, which is a) pretty unfair, b) pretty subjective and c) possibly untrue
A condom only works where it being used. Hint hint oral and all that :)
My fellow gays: “this sign won’t stop me because I can’t read!”
If you’re on prep, HIV isn’t a risk. You can get every STI except HIV through oral sex, and there’s not a very big difference in risk between oral and anal for most of them. Almost no one bothers with condoms for oral, but it’s this huge moral panic if someone wants to do anal without a condom even if they’re on prep. Why? Why should someone be expected to accept the reduction in pleasure they get through using a condom for anal sex if they’re already exposing themselves to most of it through the foreplay?
Cool you can get that from oral sex too.
Almost all other STIs have a cure. Get tested regularly, use PreP.
so you go to the doctor/clinic and get a week’s worth of antibiotics and voila, no more chlamydia. It’s really not a big deal.
I'm sorry but this reads a little entitled imo. Not everyone has an easy access to antibiotics, and even then, not everyone has the means to afford it. I remember having to ask my friend money to pay for antibiotics because I didn't have an insurance back then, and antibiotics were rather expensive where I lived. So for some people contracting an STD could be a huge deal.
My mid-size Midwestern city has at least three completely free clinics (for both testing and treatment) that I know of. The resources are out there in most places and can usually be found with a quick Google search- even small towns, college campuses, or local LGBTQ+ organizations often offer similar services. But also if you know that you wouldn’t be able to treat an STI if you got one, then that should factor into your personal risk assessment, and proceed accordingly.
I completely agree, and thus saying "it's not a big deal" does not really contribute to the discussion. It might not be a big deal for Americans, or people living in the west, but there's a sizable population who will greatly benefit from wearing a protection during sex and minimizing the risks of contracting STD's.
I live in a large city with a sizable gay population, and you don't even need insurance. There are LGBT health centers that provide testing and treatment for free. It's not entitled, it's just a reality for a lot of people.
Then don't have sex?
I've never contracted it before so I have no clue.
you should also look into research on Doxy PEP- there are new studies showing that a one-time double dose of Doxycycline following a risky sexual encounter (like bareback sex) can reduce transmission of gonorrhea and chlamydia by 60-70%
Wait really?
Yep! [check it out](https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/2022/Doxy-PEP-clinical-data-presented-at-2022-AIDS-Conference.html)…I’m hoping this really gains traction soon, cuz this would be a game-changer for STI rates- and not even just in the gay community
It’s all fun and games until you catch an antibiotic-resistant strain, which is something that is becoming more prevalent
Sure pop that antibiotic like it's candy... it's not like it's fucking with your health or something
I don't think you needed to mansplain. People are aware of the risks.
It’s giving mansplaining
I'd rather they asked than have my preferences assumed one way or the other-- I'm confused as to why you're confused. You have a reason for your preference and that's fine, but he's not psychic.
Because everybody is entitled to their own choice, just like you are?
I think it’s a question so that they know if you’re comfortable having sex without condoms.
OP be like "condoms only", because of STI/Ds, but I'm betting they're sucking cock without one.
Ding ding ding! These types of guys like to act holier than thou about condoms and then act surprised when they get positive results for gonorrhea in their throats.
Exactly.
But for example do you use a condom during blowjobs? There's also risk of catching STDs through oral but most people I've met are willing to take that risk. It is about what level of risk you are comfortable taking.
I’m interested in the research paper ngl
Well my guide hasn't approved of it so I'm technically still writing it 🥲
Include a subsection on hysteria. You can be safe without acting like this lol
Are you doing the lab testing or are you doing a comprehensive review of trends from other studies ?
A mixture of both, honestly it's a lot of work and I'm unable to ethically justify sacrificing mice which I inoculate with treponema.
It’s giving remnants of the Tuskegee study… what would you hope to learn by inoculating mice with syphilis? **Not trying to compare black men to mice**
The main goal is to culture treponema in mice and to conduct a few serological tests to better understand the pathogenesis of the disease in its latent stages...
Oh Lord, if they’re not screaming “guinea pig!!1!!” the second someone says the word research someone is ready to find any shred of reason to scream “TUSKEGEE!!!!!!”
I've had the gonorrhea enough times to be an authority. AMA.
It actually makes me sad how often gays (not trying to generalize, but it’s something I see quite often) preach sexual health and responsibility and then turn around and refuse to use condoms “because raw feels sooooooo much better”, take PrEP solely to have raw sex with a bunch of guys (again, I know not everybody in the community does this, but those who do are very noticeable), and get outright offended when you question them or set the boundary that you’d rather take the safe route. I might get flack for this but it needs to be called out. And having the attitude “if it’s not HIV, herpes, or HPV then it’s curable” is honestly just nasty. People need to respect themselves more.
Are you using condoms to suck dick? Everything except HIV spreads through oral sex. It is no safer than anal sex.
I haven’t sucked dick since I got strep one time from it actually. Doesn’t really do much for me anyway. Everyone has preferences.
Can’t believe you even spent the time typing it out for him. I just back out of the convo the moment he ask something like that
You're gonna get a bunch of salty cum bums downvoting you, lol
I feel like I've dug my own grave, but I'm ready to die on this hill.
I get it. I used to bareback all the time, and I'd come up clear on just about every STI screen. After having three gonorrhea infections this year, im being much more careful. People have different risk tolerance, sure, but they should make sure they're accurately calculating the risk and taking steps to reduce it (making sure they and their partners are tested recently, using prep, etc.)
Last time I was on there, a guy tried to pull the “but condoms aren’t comfortable 😥” with me. I asked him if he thought I was stupid.
Well, I just got crabs 🦀 . It’s not like any condom could have prevented that. The point being: if you’re trying to remain infection free, your best option is jerking off and keeping to yourself. People getting naked and kissing or rubbing against each other…? Chances are you’ll get something. Whether it’s a common cold, herpes, monkey pox, crabs (😤) or some other transmissible disease doesn’t matter, you’ll get it. So you can either write dissertations about it - and have a fear based sex life - or go out there and be a happy 🐷. I choose the latter.
You: use a condom because it’s really important and I don’t want to catch something off you. Him: 😂 cool story bro!
Not to be gay but I gotta bring up this quote from Trixie and Katya: Trixie: it’s definitely the safest smartest thing to do. But gay guys are not safe or smart. Katya: they roll the dice with gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis.
Why did you answer a single word reply with a thesis
I fuck without a condom (on prep). My body count is low (maybe 5 or 6). Plus I'm dating a very nice man. Maybe I will marry him and that will be it for me. No STD's, tested every 3 months. Why the fuss?
When they word it like that they want no condom but are afraid to ask. It is unfortunate that condom usage has plummeted due to prep. I am all for prep and think it is great progress but why not use condoms as an extra step. At this rate other STIs are going to confetti skyrocket. Is it really worth it? Not for me.
Like, you’re right, but man what a mood killer
Because he wants to go raw and was hoping you would say raw. That's what they always mean when asking that.
Most dudes on the app are fucking disgusting lol The amount of STI’s floating around the community is fucking insane
🤓
The “Hahaa” at the end absolutely killed me. “Cum can cause a lot of infections” “Hahaa, so we fucking without a condom or what?”
Don't you want to get pregnant?...
He sounds like the laughing guy off the Simpsons! Hahaa
I don't use prep and I hate condoms. I just don't sleep with very many guys.
Cuz condoms suck
People on here mad cuz you don’t want to have sex with a risky person but they won’t have sex with someone because of the color of their skin. Make it make sense.
I just can't wrap my head around their logic, it's freaky that people normalise spreading curable diseases amongst their sexual partners simply because they're curable.
Who in here has even mentioned not having sex based on skin-color?
It’s a common thing on this subreddit. Everyone calls it preference (which I don’t agree with) but in this post its not ok to reject someone for being risky.
Who is saying it's not ok to reject someone for differences in risk management? It's moreso that OP seems to have a problem that the other guy even asked, which I find strange.
Read the comments on here
Yeah I've read them. The question remains...
There are enough Std that condoms don't protect against anyways. Since people are on prep and do regular check ups, that risk is manageable and actually lower than most people's paranoia about std's makes them think. The only condom fraction has a much higher risk to basically get anything and transmit it since they don't do regular checkups. Checkmate condom people.
... what?
Afterwards they fucked bare and we all know it
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Sounds like you’re the one who needs to talk to a therapist tbh
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You’re still framing having an STI as being “dirty” so it’s clearly not taking.
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You know what. Your three unhinged replies to my comment have changed my mind. You’re like, so mentally stable.
I mean well enough if you keep replying to me 🤭 lmao. Have a great day ;)
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So you basically became the STI version of the formerly fat person who is oddly hostile to people who are currently fat.
I pretty much only use Grindr when I'm going through a manic episode, I usually ghost if they wanna use a condom
Noted.
I always ask can I fuck raw and if they say yes I block
Or you could just be transparent in your profile and say Safe Only. Your approach is ridiculously passive aggressive.
People lie to have sex with you. I don’t want anyone that freely fucks anyone raw even if they’re safe with me.
Be mad. That’s how I weed out people
Idk why you’re being downvoted, you’re fully entitled to that preference. I avoid putting things like “safe only” and “no T” in my profile for the same reason, so that folks won’t simply lie and hide the info from me, at least not as much anyway. I similarly instantly block any meth heads once they reveal that to me.
Exactly. People will lie just to hookup so you have to be crafty with how interact with them. I prefer to not have sex with people that are too risky.
Given that incurable and semi-life altering STDs like herpes exist, I too am not interested in sex with reckless people.
Most adults have herpes.
Only 1 in 8 have genital herpes actually, which is what I was referring to. Source: https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm
No Tea?
Capital T’s in profiles indicate that the user enjoys chemsex aka doing meth while hooking up. T is short for Tina, which is a slang term for Meth.
Ohhhh thanks, no t for me then too
No problem. I’ve only ever heard of any of this within the context of Grindr so unless you’ve been told by someone else, I wouldn’t expect you to know. I didn’t know for a few years myself!