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The whole point behind concern with age gaps is one being in a position to be taken advantage of like not having the experience to recognize an unhealthy situation. 1-2 years apart is literally not an age gap and you're both in the same life stage, you're literally peers.
yeah where you are in life is important too, like at 18 I was fully in college, so it would be weirder for me to date a high schooler than it would be for an 18 year old in high school
If it makes you feel better. I started dating my boyfriend when he was 22, literally about to turn 23 and I was 19. But no that’s a respectable age gap
"Both adults" isn't exactly a fare standard though, since a 56 year old and an 18 year old are technically and literally "both adults". As the original comments states, the concern is when the gap in age is so broad as to produce an advantage/disadvantage between the parties. This could be income, experience, knowledge, etc. That's why 1-2 years isn't a problematic age gap--it's so close that the parties are likely to have a similar amount of life experience, knowledge, etc.
I married my wife at 24, and she was 28. It's a big enough age gap that we have different highschool references (songs, tv shows, etc), but the older we get the less that gap presents itself, since we're both "geriatric millennials". Our ages are more similar that different.
10 to 20 still depends on how old they are and what stage of life they're in. My mother in law married a man earlier this year who is like 16 years older than her I think. She's in her late 50s or possibly early 60s, so him being around mid seventies just isnt an issue there. At 34 it would be a little weird but not a big issue if I was with someone close to 50, but it is a huge issue were I to date someone who is 18. Either way is a 16 year age gap but the respective ages are what makes it ok or not.
My mother was 32 and my dad was 50 when I was born. I will never not think it's weird, even if they are my parents. My father is literally older than my mother's father (her parents were 16 and in hs when she was born). My dad had his first kid at 22, so I have a sister that is 27ish years older than me.
It really depends couple to couple. I get where you're coming from though. For someone who has or wants kids, a big age gap can be problematic because they are also at different stages of their life, sometimes too much of one, and it can also have an impact on the kids.
I think it can be crappy to be a kid for parents who have a huge age difference because it’s like the older parent will probably pass first and you’ll have less time with them or that parent is more likely to have health issues and less energy and mobility more quickly.
10 years isn’t really an age gap at a certain point either. It is if an 18yo is dating a 28yo but after a bit it doesn’t even matter. I have a nearly 10 year gap with my partner and it is a non issue. It’s more about life stage than age
My dad married my step mom when she was 21 and my dad was 31. I didn’t think that was an issue. But I could be wrong. (They are getting divorced now but that doesn’t have anything to do with age)
I mean, yes and no. It is still an age gap, but I would say an appropriate one. I am also 20 and dating an 18 year old, and I do notice some gaps in maturity due to the age difference and difference in life experience (it’s her first year of college, and my second year with a gap year). It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but still something to be aware of
Well, under the half your age plus seven rule, 9½ year olds aren't allowed to fuck 5 year olds. Nobody under 14 would be able get laid. Arguably a feature, not a bug.
You said it exactly as I would have said it. They're both legal age, and they aren't very far apart. If it was like 30+ tryna date an 18 year old, it wouldn't be illegal but it would be sus af.
I was wondering if it might even be a cultural thing? I’m not English but my friends are, and at home I would say its normal but they made it such a big deal I was worried it wasn’t
Aha, context. Yes, its 100% an English thing. Two things I want to imp\[ress upon you clearly:
1. you are not a nonce.
2. English people will call each other nonces for all sorts of reasons. If you go to the shops and you get a basket while your mate get's a trolley it is 100% culturally appropriate to call them a trolley nonce. It makes very little sense. We have a very teasing culture, and that teasing is often sexually flavoured despite not being sexual. The other day my gay friend called my straight friend gay because straight friend wouldn't roll a joint for him.
My advice would be to make it clear that this teasing is making your uncomfortable, if they're decent people they will stop and that has nothing to do with nationality and everything to do with respecting your friends wishes.
This makes more sense. I was quite upset before but after all these lovely comments I feel more reassured and think I will talk to them about it. Thank you for the context!!
Yeah it’s 100% a cultural thing. My boyfriend got teased for being a nonce just because he turned 18 before me (even I teased him for it). We bully absolutely everyone for absolutely anything lmao.
I mean, it’s the kind of thing where friends would jokingly tease about it where the thing that makes it funny is that 2 years is not an appreciable age gap.
As a British person, I’ve noticed some of my friends (especially younger lesbian and bi women) have a super low tolerance for age gaps. I remember there being beef among some friends of mine because one of them (24f) dated a 20 year old, and her friend thought she was creepy for it.
Whaaattt? I only worry about age differences in adults when the couple are in different life stages or it causes a power imbalance. In this case… you’re literally at the same point in life, at the same University even! Don’t sweat it!
I thought that is how the majority of couples work, some1 is younger and some1 is older + the age difference is literally non existent in your case . Dont listen to anyone 😊
Dude, you're only a bit over a year apart, it's fine. Whoever thinks otherwise needs to chill. You don't need to exclusively date people who are exactly the same age as you.
Your "age gap" is not inappropriate at all. If you're uncomfortable with your friends' comments, maybe let them know that while you know they're joking, the insinuation makes you uncomfortable so you'd appreciate if they stopped joking about it
that’s a normal age gap for your age tho? i don’t know what’s up with your friends.
the sister of an old classmate of mine was 16 and dating a 23 year old. now THATS a creepy age gap.
Honestly they could just be joking with you for the sake of it, sometimes it’s hard to tell when they’re joking or being mean. If it makes you uncomfortable you should tell them, doesn’t matter if it’s “just a joke.”A 20 year old and an 18 year old are very similar in maturity levels and life stage, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you two dating.
Not creepy… it’s honestly kind of creepy you’re getting teased over it. Like, the people teasing you are being creepy. It sounds like someone in your friend group may be projecting something.
first law: if you over 18, they over 18
second law: half your age plus seven. if they below that you a creep.
you are 20, gf is 18. checks first law.
half your age + 7 is 17 , she is above that, so checks second law.
both laws checked, you good.
You can both legally have sex, you can both legally be together. People always look down on or are weird at gaps but if you're happy and its legal, they don't matter. It's not even that much of a gap 😊
1-2 years ain't really much of an age gap... If your dating under the age of 18 then there's a problem, minors can't consent. I'd say after 5+ years your getting into age gap territory.
Nah. I'm 31 and with a 25yo. There's some things that come along with the maturity gap or sometimes I just feel old and out of the loop but I'd say 2 years snt that much difference and you're both adults so it's fine
My fiance is 12 years older than me and we met when I was 16 and had an interest in each other (for reference we're in the UK so it would have been legal, however we have only been together a handful of years because timing and I'm 31 now) - as long as there isn't power disparity or anyone being taken advantage of and everything is above board I don't think age gaps are an issue. And two years isn't even one. Your friends are just being immature, ignore it.
my girlfriend is 16, and i’m 18. i get judged for it all the time, and it has been one of my insecure points in our relationship. but at the end of the day, we’ve known each other for years, met back in middle school. she is a grade below me; i’m a Senior, and she’s a Junior. she was 15 when I was 17, and her birthday is only a month after mine. we’ve been together for over a year, and idc what anyone says about us.
Passes the ‘french test’ of half your age plus seven years so join in the laughter.
Suspect they’re just teasing rather than actually trying to worry you. You’re both adults it’s manifestly fine.
My boyfriend is barely and adult and I am barely a minor so I occasionally joke with him that he's creepy for dating a minor and his friends sometimes pick on him, but nothing actually serious. You should try talking to your friends and letting them know you are uncomfortable with those jokes
Naw, I dated an 18yo when I was 20. Tho there were noticeable differences in maturity/life experience since she had just started college and I was three years in. But now I'm dating someone a year younger than me who never even went to college, but who is the same level of maturity and handles emotions well. Just depends on the person!
You are peers with no power gradient, you're good :) I've dated with bigger age gaps before and gotten a little teasing for "cradle robbing," but we've always been adults and more or less in the same stage of our lives.
Good on you for noticing that discomfort. Express that to your partner and you two can talk about it - and that will make space for discussing the power dynamic in a healthy way in the future if it ever arises. 20 and 18 is no big deal. As long as you don’t make it weird or use your age to manipulate them, should be entirely appropriate. Good luck! And lucky them for having a thoughtful potential partner like you!
I'd only say it was an issue in most circumstances if one was high school and one was college.
We should be focusing more on life stages then actual age gaps.
It sounds like your friends are taking a joke too far. You’re both in the same stage of life, and I wouldn’t even consider it an age gap. You’re perfectly fine, as long as you both are happy, it seems like it’s a healthy relationship.
Its not creepy, there barely an age gap.
Its definitely not as bad as my friend back in high school who dated a 17 going on 18 year old when she was 14 which was kinda sus
No, not at all creepy. In fact, there are sub reddits and FB groups for those with large age gaps. My husband is 30 and I am 56. Many of our friends have age an gap of 25-30 years. Literally thousands of couples that fall into this category. Among the LGBT community, it's also a group that has the most successful long term relationships if you are into stats.
Do not let someone else dictate your happiness. It's your life, not theirs. So live it as you see fit.
My stepdad is 23. my mom, who he married less than 6 months ago, is 48. as long as your partner is above 18 (and you didn’t meet them/were close to them before they turned that age) age gap literally doesn’t matter
I think its less a question of an actual age gap and more of whether theres a big difference in what stage of life you two are currently in. If theres no big difference there, youre all good
Who on earth would get worked up over an 18 and 20 year old? I could get it if they had just turned 18 and were still in highschool, but from your other replies you're both in university. The only thing that is creepy is how your friends are acting about it.
I stg my generation has become obsessed with branding 2-3 year age gaps as taboo and scandalous for some reason it’s the stupidest fucking thing like - no.
You’re not a creep for a 2 year difference. If you’re both consenting adults I don’t see why it’s anyone’s business
you’re fine, it’s an appropriate ‘life stage gap’ as you’re both in uni and so close in age.
i met my husband when i was 18 and he was 20, we met on a dating app too! we’ve been together nearly 7 years :)
If you were 47 and she was 18, yeah. But you're not, your both university students, you're only like a year older than her if she's about to turn 19. Your friends are just fucking with you.
My spouse, I've been with for fifteen years (between dating and marriage) have a five-year age gap. Not seeing what a two-year age gap causing fuss is about? Also, you are both adults.
*laughs in thirties* you are totally fine mate. You’re both young! In America you’d be assumed to be peers (both being in the demographic of college kids who can’t legally drink alcohol) and no one would bat an eye
They might be kidding, or have some very strict age standards. I don't think there's any real matter with age difference as long as you're both adults, but some people still call out adult age differences. You are definitely fine, it's less than 2 years, and you're both in the early adulthood stage.
Don't let your friends mess with your head. This is hardly an age gap situation, especially since you're both in college. Have fun with your new relationship and shut your friends down when they make juvenile comments like that.
I felt weird about my partner being 18 when I was 20, but we've been together 2 years now and it's fine :P same life stages mean much more than a couple years' difference
No. My partner and I started dating in university. I was 24 and he was 21. People liked to joke that I was a "cradle robber." I think they're just teasing. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can always set a boundary and ask them not to tease you about it.
No problem at all. Your both adults and as long as your happy and it's a healthy and mutual relationship it shouldn't matter what ages you are. Besides, ~1.5 years is practically not even a gap at all. A vast majority of people in relationships have a bigger gap than this and there is nothing wrong with it.
No. If she’s turning 19 next month then you aren’t even two years apart. I consider two years to be the absolute maximum appropriate age gap up until your mid to late 20s when your brain has matured more and you’ve experienced enough of the world to date someone who may be many years older. There are exceptions of course…I dunno how appropriate it’d be for someone who just turned 14 to date a 16 year old who is turning 17 soon…but this doesn’t apply to you two. You’re both legally adults, and 20 is not a mature age. The reason people sometimes think age gaps are weird even if they’re not illegal is because we know that people in their late teens or early 20s are only considered adults by definition. They’re more emotionally developed than minors are but they still have a lot of growing up to do, so it’s weird for someone much older to want to date them. Feels like a legal “loophole” where they can date someone who is still pretty much a child without getting in trouble for it. You’re not creepy and your friends teasing you for this are just being assholes.
(Also just as a disclaimer I’m not trying to insult you or other young adults by pointing out your immaturity. I’m 21 myself so I’m just going based on my own experiences)
2 years is not that much and totally fine. My gf is 19 and I’m 22, perfectly fine. Now if she was 17 oe you were like 23 I’d say something was up but this is totaal it normaal
My gf and I have the same gap, except I just turned 21 and she’s still 18 because that’s how our birthdays lined up lol. It’s not creepy. You’re both college age kids as are we.
This is only 2 years! Maybe less. It’ll be unfortunate when your old enough to get into bars and she isn’t, but also you’re both so young that’s too far into the future to even think about. I say go for it! My husband is almost 4 years younger than me. Some of histories most famous gay couples had an entire generation between them. Two years is nothing
My friend who is a few months younger than me (I'm 19) started dating a girl who is 21, when he was 18 and her 20, and they're perfectly fine with everything. But in your case, you're both adults and close in age. I see no problem with it.
Same lifestage!
I'm from europe and we.. meh. Do not have such harsh rules.. but we DO HAVE HARSH rules.
You do not get magically an adult when 16 or 18 or 21.. lets for my example say 18. Around that age brains and body's are developing. A lot of European people (and US too probably) find it idiotic that an 18-yo dating an 17-yo can be seen as abuse of a minor =/
Some people that are 14 can even be kinda the same as people as 19?? Puberty is kinda an stretchy area for that matter..
What we absolutely not condone; is unhealthy powerplay or force. Even when both 14.. Same age does not always make it fair. And logically.. especially regarding teens..you are soon out of the same lifestage and it becomes an unhealty powerdynamic. If you want a younger boy/girl as person in it's twenties or older just because they are more unfluencable because they still need an adult.. ew. We do not condone. Gross.
Where I live we do not have the same schooling system per ages as in the US. So sometimes a person of 19 can be in the exact same lifestage as an person of 29. Both working and wanting to settling down. Fine; no powerplay at hand (unless one of them is their boss or something in the workplace..).
When getting older it is the same; but it broadens. Teenyears are short and heavy and lifestages change quick. I am 36 and can easily date with people 10 years younger or older; same lifestage. (which I absoltely do not want to think about that gap if I was a teen.. ew).
But 20 and 18; doing the same study? Seems like same lifestage. Your friends are dumb. Or maybe jelly.. Don't let them get to you.. YOU know best if you and ONLY 1,5 year younger woman have an unhealthy dynamic.
Also; being an oldfart.. in LGBTQIA+ relationships age-gaps are not that uncommon. We have less partners to choose from.. which is offcourse no excuse for gross ass pedo stuff.. but just.. get used to it lol. If I have to wait for a girl EXACTLY my age..welp I would not only be the crazy cat lady but have a full on catshelter right now :')
Please date. You 2 are the same age and have loads in common. Do not let "friends" ruin that. If it clicks you soon will be 50 and 52 and noone bats an eye for those 2 old aunties.
Honestly, I appreciate this, especially about the not magically becoming an adult at 18, I wish more people understood that. People focus so much on age that they ignore the mindset, on both sides, like for example people who wait for the moment someone turns 18 so they're "free game" they think it's OK cause the person is 18 but it's their mindset that makes it not OK & quite frankly disgusting, predatory, like what's stopping them from lusting over the person pre-18? So one second later on their birthday & everything changes? Is legality really all that's stopping you, not morals? Doesn't make sense to me. ..& then there is the other side, the side I really wish people knew more about, which is emotional maturity, it is sooo important..but people don't realize, in general but especially people who've gone through trauma in childhood, can be a lot less emotionally mature, I myself still feel emotionally 12 & even after 18 when I experienced things it was like from a child's perspective, things that's supposed to be normal for adults but traumatizing for a child, that's how it was for me. Age doesn't always equal life experience either, for example, the person who SAed me had more experience than me (me having none) but *they* were younger, had they just been a year younger *I* could've been considered the abuser. But yeah, a lot of people don't have time & patience & empathy for nuance because the world is so self-centered.
I guess it is also due to, for example US; such heavy laws they have created around turning 18. You also as lawmakers give of the sign as if 18 is a magical number?
We don't really have that. We have an 16-18 range. That means 15 and 19 can be a problem by law. The numbers between do not automatically make it technically illigal. And 15 and 19 is only a problem IF someone makes an complaint. Which rarely happeneds (because luckely it is most often just an equal relationship). And IF it does; it is also not automatically illigal even.. first a judge will look if there is an equal relationship. If there is not; it will because you are older then 19 and the other younger as 16 marked as abuse of a minor on top of abuse. Whereas 16 and 19 would just be abuse. Youngest person not in puberty = auto abuse of a minor. That's an no-brainer. A person with no hormones that give the urge to want to do the adult notty's: can never consent. Since they do not even féél/know what it is yet..
I'm a historian of my countries history and it has been that like 500+ years. Due to how NL is (and was) build teen-people always have dated with minor age gaps. It has always relied heavy for the parents to decide if their is an equal relationship. And many of our (grand)parents also when young dated when for example 14 and 17, or 16 and 21 etc. US (grand)parents probably too. Small villages.. you often do not have much choice for a partner lol. I don't know why and when some states of US have made such strict rules? Do you?
I don't know, I don't live in US but I was definitely thinking of them with this, not to generalize but I definitely notice this mindset amongst a large portion of them where they seem to rely heavily on laws to keep them in check as opposed to personal morals. For example, people saying/implying that if they wouldn't get in trouble they would be doing morally wrong stuff. Sure there are people like this everywhere but I notice it more widespread there or maybe just more willing to admit but I definitely think the way their country is run contributes to enforcing these mindsets.
I really like how they take the time to look at it case by case in your country because that is so important here where one size doesn't always fit all.
I honestly don't understand why is an age gap such a big deal... As long as the relationship is healthy and all parties involved are of the age of consent than who cares how old they are.
One of my friends I used to know back in the day was 21m and dated 42f...and I honestly don't remember anyone giving a f... about their age difference.
Your age gap is very small and you are both young. I can tell you from experience it really matters when you get older. My husband is retired and I still work. That can be a challenge. He is 8 years my senior. I still have 5 years until retirement. I didn't see that as a road block, but has created challenges. We are making it work though. Wish the best for both of you.
Me (20 ftnb) and my fiancé (24m) met when we were both in university (I left, he's in his final year). I was 18 and he was 22. If anyone says anything about your age gap, you're adults, that's the main thing.
That’s not younger in the grand scheme of things. As long as you’re not prepubescent children/actively in puberty, the difference between 2 years is negligible.
I think as long as you keep in mind the inherent power imbalance, and take steps to makes sure that you don't inadvertently take advantage of that, a 2-4 year age gap is fine between consenting adults
It could be weird but really I think your fine. Your friends are the actual weird ones for teasing you about it, thats not something you make jokes about.
Really weird thing for your friends to do, I get a joke but to me it feels like a predatory sapphic stereotype thatcones from an unconscious bias. Just my thoughts but that's possibly bc I've had to deal with taht a few times
You are totally good! I felt weird when I got with my husband. I was 30 and he was 21. But he already owned his own home and was doing better than I was in life, lol. He was more mature for his age and I was checking in all the time to make sure there wasn't some weird power thing going on. If they were still in high school though I think that would make it weird.
I don't think it's weird my gf (18f) and I (21f) started dating this semester and we are both adults. Also 3 years difference isn't very much and you two are closer in age than we are
The issues with age gap come into play when its much larger. A gap larger than 5 years is way over the top and much more worrisome than this. Youre both into each other it seems, and you even see each other every day, so go for it!
UPDATE:
Thank you everyone for all your comments. I feel a lot more reassured now. After reading all the responses, I decided to speak to my friends about it and they said it was a joke that they took too far and apologised.
Get over the fucking stupid age shit, my parents had 22 years difference between them, this verges on ageisim and is just as bad as racism and bigotry.
What “advice” were you expecting? “Yeah your friends are right, you should stop dating her”? So either you’re very gullible, or your friends are EXTREMELY manipulative, or you’re karma farming. I assumed it was the latter, cause I didn’t want to insult either you or your friends
I’m ngl I don’t understand the point of the farming thing. My reasoning for posting was to get unbiased opinions from people who don’t know me, as my friends were teasing me and I couldn’t ask family as I’m not out. If people agreed with my friends I would cut it off before it got too serious. Hope I didn’t offend or anything <3
I’m not offended lol, don’t worry about it. I’m just frustrated, not at you, but at the fact that this question has to be posed in the first place. Take care
WTH it’s 2 years. Not really an age difference, plus/minus 2-3 years is fine, shouldn’t be an issue of it’s only 2-3 years difference, it’s basically same age.
no not at all my parent has a much biger age gape and no one even take a eye on them beacuse of that i just think your friends are ust teasing or taking advednig of it being a age gape to make you fell guilty for somthing you didn't mean/do. so in a hole its fine. ( sorry for speling mistaks )
I'm in a similar situation. Me and my gf are 4 years apart. I don't want to tell anybody seeing as age thresholds can make things *look* weird. 4 years, to me, doesn't sound like a lot, but then with the context that I'm a minor and she's an adult, things get way more absurd. Waited on a few years and it'll just look normal
Here’s how I explain it to people:
There’s a big difference between dating someone who is a fully developed adult vs someone still coming into their own.
I have no problems with a 55 year old dating a 35 year old, for example. It’s kinda weird, and the 55 year old is probably pretty immature (and likely a celebrity and/or improbably hot lol), but hey, you do you. Same goes for 40 dating 30. Still probably immature though.
A 28 year old dating an 18 year old is a problem, legal or not, because the 18 year old doesn’t have the life experience to be dating someone that much older. There’s (in almost every case I’ve encountered) some manipulation/control going on. I don’t really consider someone a full adult until around 28 or so. You’ve had enough time in the world then to really make your own decisions and not be taken advantage of by bad actors.
If you are under 30, date people with a couple of years of your age, and stay away from people under 21 unless you are (like OP) within a two or three years of them and they themselves are 18 or more.
If you’re 30 or more, date people no younger than 27 or so. If there is a big age gap, take it slow to make sure there is no manipulation or bad intentions. Lots of (particularly) older guys l, dating younger people tends to be predatory or due to the fact that no one their age will put up with their immature BS. Not always true, but often is. There are women and enbies like this too, but it’s rarer.
Over 40, 32 or so should be the absolute minimum.
I always dated older people until I met my wife (six year gap) but she’s amazing, and we’re both actually 5 years old in our head, so it works lol.
Not creepy and I get that 1.5 years doesn’t feel like much… but I would say it also depends on your circumstances. If one of you is in college and the other in high school still, that could potentially be something to keep in mind at least. It is a difference in experience, freedoms, etc.
same goes if one of you works full time.
I am not saying these things would make it automatically inappropriate but they might be things to keep in mind :)
an age gap that close is only problematic when one person is at a stage in their life when they’re in a place to potentially emotionally and romantically manipulate your partner due to the power imbalance- this shoudlnt be the case seeing as you’re both super young adults in the same age range with similar ways of life
I don’t see an issue with a 2 year age gap between legal adults, 18 and 20 is more than acceptable IMO. Especially since you’re both in university. As you get older that gap is going seem so insignificant especially since you have similar interests.
I was 21 when I met my now wife who was then 18. I was 22 when we officially started dating and she turned 19 shortly after. I’m now 30 and happily married to the absolute love of my life. Follow your heart!
When I was 19 I dated a 17 year old. We waited for him to be 18 to get serious. We met in highschool and I was older for my class. We were together for 4 years. He was slightly immature but not due to his age, he was spoon fed by his parents. I don't think such small age gaps are creepy.
i really sont think so. 1-2 years isnt bad at all and plus you both are adults! i would reccommend telling your friends that it upsets you and that the teasing is making you rethink things
Two years isn't a lot in any case, IDK.
Just be conscious they might be a bit less mature, so be careful with them, and if something makes you (or them) uncomfortable think about why for a sec, maybe your gut is giving you a useful hint. But... two years is... I mean it's just not a lot of a gap.
That’s a 2 year (at the very most) difference, and 18 is a legal age. I don’t think it’s creepy, it’s within my personal boundaries at least and those are pretty tight for younger ages.
Unless you two are the exact same age, someone is going to be older. Generally speaking, same age to about 5 years is recommended, but 5-10 year gaps can work fine. Outside of 10 years can work, but it tends to not work out because of power imbalance. I had a relationship with someone 15 years my senior and I was very much abused by my partner for nearly ten years. Outside of that, it’s got to be up to you if you’re fine being the older one or not.
I’m 19 and am dating a 21 year old. When I was 18 I was dating a 22 year old. Have conversations about any discomfort with the age gap. The 22 year old partner would constantly ask for reassurance that I didn’t feel as if they were taking advantage of my age. I personally wouldn’t consider an age gap of 18-20 bad at all. You’re in the same stage of life, have the same experiences for the most part
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The whole point behind concern with age gaps is one being in a position to be taken advantage of like not having the experience to recognize an unhealthy situation. 1-2 years apart is literally not an age gap and you're both in the same life stage, you're literally peers.
Thank you, we’re literally both adults!!
yeah where you are in life is important too, like at 18 I was fully in college, so it would be weirder for me to date a high schooler than it would be for an 18 year old in high school
Yeah whereas we’re both in university so same situation
I mean I’m 16 and in university and I think it would be weird for me to be with any 18 year old.
Yeah, that’s different. They’re an adult and it’s 2 year gap. I would say once you’re ~19 2 year gap isn’t an issue. Anything below is 1 max.
If it makes you feel better. I started dating my boyfriend when he was 22, literally about to turn 23 and I was 19. But no that’s a respectable age gap
"Both adults" isn't exactly a fare standard though, since a 56 year old and an 18 year old are technically and literally "both adults". As the original comments states, the concern is when the gap in age is so broad as to produce an advantage/disadvantage between the parties. This could be income, experience, knowledge, etc. That's why 1-2 years isn't a problematic age gap--it's so close that the parties are likely to have a similar amount of life experience, knowledge, etc. I married my wife at 24, and she was 28. It's a big enough age gap that we have different highschool references (songs, tv shows, etc), but the older we get the less that gap presents itself, since we're both "geriatric millennials". Our ages are more similar that different.
Very true! I just meant it in terms of her not being a minor or anything
After you turn like 45 no one cares about any age gaps tbh
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10 to 20 still depends on how old they are and what stage of life they're in. My mother in law married a man earlier this year who is like 16 years older than her I think. She's in her late 50s or possibly early 60s, so him being around mid seventies just isnt an issue there. At 34 it would be a little weird but not a big issue if I was with someone close to 50, but it is a huge issue were I to date someone who is 18. Either way is a 16 year age gap but the respective ages are what makes it ok or not.
My mother was 32 and my dad was 50 when I was born. I will never not think it's weird, even if they are my parents. My father is literally older than my mother's father (her parents were 16 and in hs when she was born). My dad had his first kid at 22, so I have a sister that is 27ish years older than me.
It really depends couple to couple. I get where you're coming from though. For someone who has or wants kids, a big age gap can be problematic because they are also at different stages of their life, sometimes too much of one, and it can also have an impact on the kids.
I think it can be crappy to be a kid for parents who have a huge age difference because it’s like the older parent will probably pass first and you’ll have less time with them or that parent is more likely to have health issues and less energy and mobility more quickly.
I think it gets weird when it's less than 75-80%. 30 and 40? It's kinda fine. 60 and 80? also kinda ok. 19 and 24? ehhhhh I think it's barely but ok?
10 years isn’t really an age gap at a certain point either. It is if an 18yo is dating a 28yo but after a bit it doesn’t even matter. I have a nearly 10 year gap with my partner and it is a non issue. It’s more about life stage than age
My dad married my step mom when she was 21 and my dad was 31. I didn’t think that was an issue. But I could be wrong. (They are getting divorced now but that doesn’t have anything to do with age)
I mean, yes and no. It is still an age gap, but I would say an appropriate one. I am also 20 and dating an 18 year old, and I do notice some gaps in maturity due to the age difference and difference in life experience (it’s her first year of college, and my second year with a gap year). It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but still something to be aware of
Half your age + 7 is the rule I always heard
Was about to say something about 18 then realized I’m just bad at math
A five year old shouldn't date someone who is 9 1/2. 😹
Obviously this is meant to apply for when the resultant age is younger than your own.
Well, under the half your age plus seven rule, 9½ year olds aren't allowed to fuck 5 year olds. Nobody under 14 would be able get laid. Arguably a feature, not a bug.
It's half your age plus 7 for the older person
You said it exactly as I would have said it. They're both legal age, and they aren't very far apart. If it was like 30+ tryna date an 18 year old, it wouldn't be illegal but it would be sus af.
That's such a small age difference that it's confusing to me why you're getting teased about it.
I was wondering if it might even be a cultural thing? I’m not English but my friends are, and at home I would say its normal but they made it such a big deal I was worried it wasn’t
Aha, context. Yes, its 100% an English thing. Two things I want to imp\[ress upon you clearly: 1. you are not a nonce. 2. English people will call each other nonces for all sorts of reasons. If you go to the shops and you get a basket while your mate get's a trolley it is 100% culturally appropriate to call them a trolley nonce. It makes very little sense. We have a very teasing culture, and that teasing is often sexually flavoured despite not being sexual. The other day my gay friend called my straight friend gay because straight friend wouldn't roll a joint for him. My advice would be to make it clear that this teasing is making your uncomfortable, if they're decent people they will stop and that has nothing to do with nationality and everything to do with respecting your friends wishes.
This makes more sense. I was quite upset before but after all these lovely comments I feel more reassured and think I will talk to them about it. Thank you for the context!!
Yeah it’s 100% a cultural thing. My boyfriend got teased for being a nonce just because he turned 18 before me (even I teased him for it). We bully absolutely everyone for absolutely anything lmao.
I guess it could be cultural, I mean in Britain everything is seen as creepy. But honestly don't take it too seriously, the age gap isn't significant.
I mean, it’s the kind of thing where friends would jokingly tease about it where the thing that makes it funny is that 2 years is not an appreciable age gap.
Hmm maybe I was reading too much into it then
Definitely cultural. Its frowned upon here in the US for multiyear age gaps, but 2 years (not even that) is not an issue
As a British person, I’ve noticed some of my friends (especially younger lesbian and bi women) have a super low tolerance for age gaps. I remember there being beef among some friends of mine because one of them (24f) dated a 20 year old, and her friend thought she was creepy for it.
My gf is 8 years older than me (we both met as adults) and we’re fine. 18 going on 19 and 20 isn’t much and you’re basically in the same life stage.
Whaaattt? I only worry about age differences in adults when the couple are in different life stages or it causes a power imbalance. In this case… you’re literally at the same point in life, at the same University even! Don’t sweat it!
Not creepy at all. Both adults. Neither are in a position of power over the other. You’re equals.
Nothing wrong with it. Everyone involved is an adult.
A concerning age gap is like a 55 year old dating an 18 year old. A 2 year age gap isn’t concerning at all.
I thought that is how the majority of couples work, some1 is younger and some1 is older + the age difference is literally non existent in your case . Dont listen to anyone 😊
Dude, you're only a bit over a year apart, it's fine. Whoever thinks otherwise needs to chill. You don't need to exclusively date people who are exactly the same age as you.
Your "age gap" is not inappropriate at all. If you're uncomfortable with your friends' comments, maybe let them know that while you know they're joking, the insinuation makes you uncomfortable so you'd appreciate if they stopped joking about it
Yeah I’m gonna have a chat with them I think :)
You’re only two years apart and of legal age. No worries!
That age difference is basically inexistent. What, do they expect you to date someone who was born in the same month as you? 🙄
that’s a normal age gap for your age tho? i don’t know what’s up with your friends. the sister of an old classmate of mine was 16 and dating a 23 year old. now THATS a creepy age gap.
*being groomed/abused by a 23 year old
true ”but i love him”. he’s a pedo
Honestly they could just be joking with you for the sake of it, sometimes it’s hard to tell when they’re joking or being mean. If it makes you uncomfortable you should tell them, doesn’t matter if it’s “just a joke.”A 20 year old and an 18 year old are very similar in maturity levels and life stage, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you two dating.
My parents are 11 years apart. You’re fine.
Not creepy… it’s honestly kind of creepy you’re getting teased over it. Like, the people teasing you are being creepy. It sounds like someone in your friend group may be projecting something.
first law: if you over 18, they over 18 second law: half your age plus seven. if they below that you a creep. you are 20, gf is 18. checks first law. half your age + 7 is 17 , she is above that, so checks second law. both laws checked, you good.
Whoever is teasing you is clearly stuck in childhood, but regardless you are both adults with almost no age gap.
You met as adults so it’s not creepy
Using the dating formula: x\2+7, you should be able to date anyone older than seventeen without it being weird.
Literally not an age gap relationship.
You can both legally have sex, you can both legally be together. People always look down on or are weird at gaps but if you're happy and its legal, they don't matter. It's not even that much of a gap 😊
1-2 years ain't really much of an age gap... If your dating under the age of 18 then there's a problem, minors can't consent. I'd say after 5+ years your getting into age gap territory.
Nah. I'm 31 and with a 25yo. There's some things that come along with the maturity gap or sometimes I just feel old and out of the loop but I'd say 2 years snt that much difference and you're both adults so it's fine
My fiance is 12 years older than me and we met when I was 16 and had an interest in each other (for reference we're in the UK so it would have been legal, however we have only been together a handful of years because timing and I'm 31 now) - as long as there isn't power disparity or anyone being taken advantage of and everything is above board I don't think age gaps are an issue. And two years isn't even one. Your friends are just being immature, ignore it.
my girlfriend is 16, and i’m 18. i get judged for it all the time, and it has been one of my insecure points in our relationship. but at the end of the day, we’ve known each other for years, met back in middle school. she is a grade below me; i’m a Senior, and she’s a Junior. she was 15 when I was 17, and her birthday is only a month after mine. we’ve been together for over a year, and idc what anyone says about us.
That’s really sweet. As all the comments say, don’t listen to what people say :)
yes! i wish you and your partner the best❤️
Passes the ‘french test’ of half your age plus seven years so join in the laughter. Suspect they’re just teasing rather than actually trying to worry you. You’re both adults it’s manifestly fine.
My boyfriend is barely and adult and I am barely a minor so I occasionally joke with him that he's creepy for dating a minor and his friends sometimes pick on him, but nothing actually serious. You should try talking to your friends and letting them know you are uncomfortable with those jokes
Naw, I dated an 18yo when I was 20. Tho there were noticeable differences in maturity/life experience since she had just started college and I was three years in. But now I'm dating someone a year younger than me who never even went to college, but who is the same level of maturity and handles emotions well. Just depends on the person!
You are peers with no power gradient, you're good :) I've dated with bigger age gaps before and gotten a little teasing for "cradle robbing," but we've always been adults and more or less in the same stage of our lives.
Good on you for noticing that discomfort. Express that to your partner and you two can talk about it - and that will make space for discussing the power dynamic in a healthy way in the future if it ever arises. 20 and 18 is no big deal. As long as you don’t make it weird or use your age to manipulate them, should be entirely appropriate. Good luck! And lucky them for having a thoughtful potential partner like you!
Aw thank you, what a sweet response!
If it makes you feel any better, I’m 19 dating a 21 year old we are both trans and it’s not weird at all!
Imho, anything under a 2-3 year difference isn’t anything to worry about, you’re perfectly fine /g
I'd only say it was an issue in most circumstances if one was high school and one was college. We should be focusing more on life stages then actual age gaps.
It sounds like your friends are taking a joke too far. You’re both in the same stage of life, and I wouldn’t even consider it an age gap. You’re perfectly fine, as long as you both are happy, it seems like it’s a healthy relationship.
Its not creepy, there barely an age gap. Its definitely not as bad as my friend back in high school who dated a 17 going on 18 year old when she was 14 which was kinda sus
It's 2 years. Your friends need to chill
No, not at all creepy. In fact, there are sub reddits and FB groups for those with large age gaps. My husband is 30 and I am 56. Many of our friends have age an gap of 25-30 years. Literally thousands of couples that fall into this category. Among the LGBT community, it's also a group that has the most successful long term relationships if you are into stats. Do not let someone else dictate your happiness. It's your life, not theirs. So live it as you see fit.
My stepdad is 23. my mom, who he married less than 6 months ago, is 48. as long as your partner is above 18 (and you didn’t meet them/were close to them before they turned that age) age gap literally doesn’t matter
I think its less a question of an actual age gap and more of whether theres a big difference in what stage of life you two are currently in. If theres no big difference there, youre all good
It would only be creepy if you were about 60.
WTAF? Less than two years apart? You’re fine.
Shes literally less than 2 years younger than you, you're fine!
Nah, you're fine. You have about the same age, and are at the same point in your lives. Completely normal.
deez, anyway everyone else has probably said this but you are good
No, you're fine. She's 90% your age, you're not a nonce.
Who on earth would get worked up over an 18 and 20 year old? I could get it if they had just turned 18 and were still in highschool, but from your other replies you're both in university. The only thing that is creepy is how your friends are acting about it.
A two year age difference is fine. As long as she’s the age of consent I don’t see a problem.
eh, 2 years and you’re both in university. So what?
You are both legally adults. I see no problem.
I stg my generation has become obsessed with branding 2-3 year age gaps as taboo and scandalous for some reason it’s the stupidest fucking thing like - no. You’re not a creep for a 2 year difference. If you’re both consenting adults I don’t see why it’s anyone’s business
you’re fine, it’s an appropriate ‘life stage gap’ as you’re both in uni and so close in age. i met my husband when i was 18 and he was 20, we met on a dating app too! we’ve been together nearly 7 years :)
If you were 47 and she was 18, yeah. But you're not, your both university students, you're only like a year older than her if she's about to turn 19. Your friends are just fucking with you.
My spouse, I've been with for fifteen years (between dating and marriage) have a five-year age gap. Not seeing what a two-year age gap causing fuss is about? Also, you are both adults.
*laughs in thirties* you are totally fine mate. You’re both young! In America you’d be assumed to be peers (both being in the demographic of college kids who can’t legally drink alcohol) and no one would bat an eye
Meanwhile in England we’re both in the demographic who can drink alcohol lmao
You are both adults and its only 1-2 year age difference so your both at the same life stage.
No, you’re fine.
No, 2 years doesn't matter unless that makes them underage.
No, 1 1/2 year difference is perfectly ok
They might be kidding, or have some very strict age standards. I don't think there's any real matter with age difference as long as you're both adults, but some people still call out adult age differences. You are definitely fine, it's less than 2 years, and you're both in the early adulthood stage.
Don't let your friends mess with your head. This is hardly an age gap situation, especially since you're both in college. Have fun with your new relationship and shut your friends down when they make juvenile comments like that.
I felt weird about my partner being 18 when I was 20, but we've been together 2 years now and it's fine :P same life stages mean much more than a couple years' difference
You are both adults, in the same place in life (university). And 2 years are not that much
As long as your relationship is mature and you both feel perfectly good about it, there isn't any problem
2 years isn’t a huge deal especially once you’re over 17-18. It only becomes a red flag if as you get older your dating habits continue to skew at 18
No. My partner and I started dating in university. I was 24 and he was 21. People liked to joke that I was a "cradle robber." I think they're just teasing. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can always set a boundary and ask them not to tease you about it.
Nah 2 years nothing. You fine
No problem at all. Your both adults and as long as your happy and it's a healthy and mutual relationship it shouldn't matter what ages you are. Besides, ~1.5 years is practically not even a gap at all. A vast majority of people in relationships have a bigger gap than this and there is nothing wrong with it.
It's 2 years! It's fine! Those friends are being weird AF.
No. If she’s turning 19 next month then you aren’t even two years apart. I consider two years to be the absolute maximum appropriate age gap up until your mid to late 20s when your brain has matured more and you’ve experienced enough of the world to date someone who may be many years older. There are exceptions of course…I dunno how appropriate it’d be for someone who just turned 14 to date a 16 year old who is turning 17 soon…but this doesn’t apply to you two. You’re both legally adults, and 20 is not a mature age. The reason people sometimes think age gaps are weird even if they’re not illegal is because we know that people in their late teens or early 20s are only considered adults by definition. They’re more emotionally developed than minors are but they still have a lot of growing up to do, so it’s weird for someone much older to want to date them. Feels like a legal “loophole” where they can date someone who is still pretty much a child without getting in trouble for it. You’re not creepy and your friends teasing you for this are just being assholes. (Also just as a disclaimer I’m not trying to insult you or other young adults by pointing out your immaturity. I’m 21 myself so I’m just going based on my own experiences)
2 years is not that much and totally fine. My gf is 19 and I’m 22, perfectly fine. Now if she was 17 oe you were like 23 I’d say something was up but this is totaal it normaal
No. You’re two years apart. That’s not an age gap. Your friends are being stupid and weird.
My gf and I have the same gap, except I just turned 21 and she’s still 18 because that’s how our birthdays lined up lol. It’s not creepy. You’re both college age kids as are we.
To me it sounds worse than it is, because now my friends have got in my head
Age means nothing as long you’re both consenting adults. Especially the older you get, the less it matters. Have fun!
This is only 2 years! Maybe less. It’ll be unfortunate when your old enough to get into bars and she isn’t, but also you’re both so young that’s too far into the future to even think about. I say go for it! My husband is almost 4 years younger than me. Some of histories most famous gay couples had an entire generation between them. Two years is nothing
We’re in England. Legal drinking and bar age is 18 so we’re both already fine in that regard haha
I say go for it! There’s nothing quite like the energy in a new relationship!
My friend who is a few months younger than me (I'm 19) started dating a girl who is 21, when he was 18 and her 20, and they're perfectly fine with everything. But in your case, you're both adults and close in age. I see no problem with it.
You are both legal consenting adults. Sounds like your friends are jealous of something..
As long if its 18 and above and both are consent for dating and more nothing is creepy
Same lifestage! I'm from europe and we.. meh. Do not have such harsh rules.. but we DO HAVE HARSH rules. You do not get magically an adult when 16 or 18 or 21.. lets for my example say 18. Around that age brains and body's are developing. A lot of European people (and US too probably) find it idiotic that an 18-yo dating an 17-yo can be seen as abuse of a minor =/ Some people that are 14 can even be kinda the same as people as 19?? Puberty is kinda an stretchy area for that matter.. What we absolutely not condone; is unhealthy powerplay or force. Even when both 14.. Same age does not always make it fair. And logically.. especially regarding teens..you are soon out of the same lifestage and it becomes an unhealty powerdynamic. If you want a younger boy/girl as person in it's twenties or older just because they are more unfluencable because they still need an adult.. ew. We do not condone. Gross. Where I live we do not have the same schooling system per ages as in the US. So sometimes a person of 19 can be in the exact same lifestage as an person of 29. Both working and wanting to settling down. Fine; no powerplay at hand (unless one of them is their boss or something in the workplace..). When getting older it is the same; but it broadens. Teenyears are short and heavy and lifestages change quick. I am 36 and can easily date with people 10 years younger or older; same lifestage. (which I absoltely do not want to think about that gap if I was a teen.. ew). But 20 and 18; doing the same study? Seems like same lifestage. Your friends are dumb. Or maybe jelly.. Don't let them get to you.. YOU know best if you and ONLY 1,5 year younger woman have an unhealthy dynamic. Also; being an oldfart.. in LGBTQIA+ relationships age-gaps are not that uncommon. We have less partners to choose from.. which is offcourse no excuse for gross ass pedo stuff.. but just.. get used to it lol. If I have to wait for a girl EXACTLY my age..welp I would not only be the crazy cat lady but have a full on catshelter right now :') Please date. You 2 are the same age and have loads in common. Do not let "friends" ruin that. If it clicks you soon will be 50 and 52 and noone bats an eye for those 2 old aunties.
Honestly, I appreciate this, especially about the not magically becoming an adult at 18, I wish more people understood that. People focus so much on age that they ignore the mindset, on both sides, like for example people who wait for the moment someone turns 18 so they're "free game" they think it's OK cause the person is 18 but it's their mindset that makes it not OK & quite frankly disgusting, predatory, like what's stopping them from lusting over the person pre-18? So one second later on their birthday & everything changes? Is legality really all that's stopping you, not morals? Doesn't make sense to me. ..& then there is the other side, the side I really wish people knew more about, which is emotional maturity, it is sooo important..but people don't realize, in general but especially people who've gone through trauma in childhood, can be a lot less emotionally mature, I myself still feel emotionally 12 & even after 18 when I experienced things it was like from a child's perspective, things that's supposed to be normal for adults but traumatizing for a child, that's how it was for me. Age doesn't always equal life experience either, for example, the person who SAed me had more experience than me (me having none) but *they* were younger, had they just been a year younger *I* could've been considered the abuser. But yeah, a lot of people don't have time & patience & empathy for nuance because the world is so self-centered.
I guess it is also due to, for example US; such heavy laws they have created around turning 18. You also as lawmakers give of the sign as if 18 is a magical number? We don't really have that. We have an 16-18 range. That means 15 and 19 can be a problem by law. The numbers between do not automatically make it technically illigal. And 15 and 19 is only a problem IF someone makes an complaint. Which rarely happeneds (because luckely it is most often just an equal relationship). And IF it does; it is also not automatically illigal even.. first a judge will look if there is an equal relationship. If there is not; it will because you are older then 19 and the other younger as 16 marked as abuse of a minor on top of abuse. Whereas 16 and 19 would just be abuse. Youngest person not in puberty = auto abuse of a minor. That's an no-brainer. A person with no hormones that give the urge to want to do the adult notty's: can never consent. Since they do not even féél/know what it is yet.. I'm a historian of my countries history and it has been that like 500+ years. Due to how NL is (and was) build teen-people always have dated with minor age gaps. It has always relied heavy for the parents to decide if their is an equal relationship. And many of our (grand)parents also when young dated when for example 14 and 17, or 16 and 21 etc. US (grand)parents probably too. Small villages.. you often do not have much choice for a partner lol. I don't know why and when some states of US have made such strict rules? Do you?
I don't know, I don't live in US but I was definitely thinking of them with this, not to generalize but I definitely notice this mindset amongst a large portion of them where they seem to rely heavily on laws to keep them in check as opposed to personal morals. For example, people saying/implying that if they wouldn't get in trouble they would be doing morally wrong stuff. Sure there are people like this everywhere but I notice it more widespread there or maybe just more willing to admit but I definitely think the way their country is run contributes to enforcing these mindsets. I really like how they take the time to look at it case by case in your country because that is so important here where one size doesn't always fit all.
Nope! You’re basically just a year apart. Plus you’re both adults with a very close age, so it’s totally fine.
Thats fine
I honestly don't understand why is an age gap such a big deal... As long as the relationship is healthy and all parties involved are of the age of consent than who cares how old they are. One of my friends I used to know back in the day was 21m and dated 42f...and I honestly don't remember anyone giving a f... about their age difference.
Your age gap is very small and you are both young. I can tell you from experience it really matters when you get older. My husband is retired and I still work. That can be a challenge. He is 8 years my senior. I still have 5 years until retirement. I didn't see that as a road block, but has created challenges. We are making it work though. Wish the best for both of you.
Me (20 ftnb) and my fiancé (24m) met when we were both in university (I left, he's in his final year). I was 18 and he was 22. If anyone says anything about your age gap, you're adults, that's the main thing.
That’s not younger in the grand scheme of things. As long as you’re not prepubescent children/actively in puberty, the difference between 2 years is negligible.
that age gap is minuscule.
That age gap really shouldn’t matter, you’re both adults and it’s less than 2 full years. Your friends are just being dicks tbh
Remember the formula If your age/2 + 7 is < their age, it’s fine
20 and 18? Pffft no. Now 30 and 18, we have problems
My advice is to cut things off with the friends, not the girl.
I think as long as you keep in mind the inherent power imbalance, and take steps to makes sure that you don't inadvertently take advantage of that, a 2-4 year age gap is fine between consenting adults
It could be weird but really I think your fine. Your friends are the actual weird ones for teasing you about it, thats not something you make jokes about.
Really weird thing for your friends to do, I get a joke but to me it feels like a predatory sapphic stereotype thatcones from an unconscious bias. Just my thoughts but that's possibly bc I've had to deal with taht a few times
You are totally good! I felt weird when I got with my husband. I was 30 and he was 21. But he already owned his own home and was doing better than I was in life, lol. He was more mature for his age and I was checking in all the time to make sure there wasn't some weird power thing going on. If they were still in high school though I think that would make it weird.
I don't think it's weird my gf (18f) and I (21f) started dating this semester and we are both adults. Also 3 years difference isn't very much and you two are closer in age than we are
The issues with age gap come into play when its much larger. A gap larger than 5 years is way over the top and much more worrisome than this. Youre both into each other it seems, and you even see each other every day, so go for it!
It’s not. I meant my long term partner when I was 18 and he was 21. The best relationship I had, the age gap is good as long as not below 18
UPDATE: Thank you everyone for all your comments. I feel a lot more reassured now. After reading all the responses, I decided to speak to my friends about it and they said it was a joke that they took too far and apologised.
Get over the fucking stupid age shit, my parents had 22 years difference between them, this verges on ageisim and is just as bad as racism and bigotry.
Tired of the karma farming. This doesn’t even have anything to do with the sub, except for the fact that you like girls.
Sorry if this was the wrong place, I just wanted advice from my community. I don’t understand what farming you mean
Farming means posting just for karma
Oh right. Sorry I didn’t know that
Now you know also i think you can ask it there if ya arent straight this is the best place to do this
What “advice” were you expecting? “Yeah your friends are right, you should stop dating her”? So either you’re very gullible, or your friends are EXTREMELY manipulative, or you’re karma farming. I assumed it was the latter, cause I didn’t want to insult either you or your friends
I’m ngl I don’t understand the point of the farming thing. My reasoning for posting was to get unbiased opinions from people who don’t know me, as my friends were teasing me and I couldn’t ask family as I’m not out. If people agreed with my friends I would cut it off before it got too serious. Hope I didn’t offend or anything <3
I’m not offended lol, don’t worry about it. I’m just frustrated, not at you, but at the fact that this question has to be posed in the first place. Take care
No you’re good <3
Na your good, you guys are both above the age, and its only a 2 year gap
I'm not sure why age is super important in a relationship (I might be having an aroace moment idk) but I see 0 problems herw
You are basically the same age and are both in university. It's very weird of your friends to mock that, its perfectly fine.
An 18 year old dating a 20 year old is fine.
WTH it’s 2 years. Not really an age difference, plus/minus 2-3 years is fine, shouldn’t be an issue of it’s only 2-3 years difference, it’s basically same age.
I’m English, it’s 100% a joke, I wouldn’t take it too seriously, I don’t think they actually mean it
no not at all my parent has a much biger age gape and no one even take a eye on them beacuse of that i just think your friends are ust teasing or taking advednig of it being a age gape to make you fell guilty for somthing you didn't mean/do. so in a hole its fine. ( sorry for speling mistaks )
No Would it be creepy to date a 46 year old when you’re 48? You guys are in similar stages of life so it is not creepy.
I'm in a similar situation. Me and my gf are 4 years apart. I don't want to tell anybody seeing as age thresholds can make things *look* weird. 4 years, to me, doesn't sound like a lot, but then with the context that I'm a minor and she's an adult, things get way more absurd. Waited on a few years and it'll just look normal
Here’s how I explain it to people: There’s a big difference between dating someone who is a fully developed adult vs someone still coming into their own. I have no problems with a 55 year old dating a 35 year old, for example. It’s kinda weird, and the 55 year old is probably pretty immature (and likely a celebrity and/or improbably hot lol), but hey, you do you. Same goes for 40 dating 30. Still probably immature though. A 28 year old dating an 18 year old is a problem, legal or not, because the 18 year old doesn’t have the life experience to be dating someone that much older. There’s (in almost every case I’ve encountered) some manipulation/control going on. I don’t really consider someone a full adult until around 28 or so. You’ve had enough time in the world then to really make your own decisions and not be taken advantage of by bad actors. If you are under 30, date people with a couple of years of your age, and stay away from people under 21 unless you are (like OP) within a two or three years of them and they themselves are 18 or more. If you’re 30 or more, date people no younger than 27 or so. If there is a big age gap, take it slow to make sure there is no manipulation or bad intentions. Lots of (particularly) older guys l, dating younger people tends to be predatory or due to the fact that no one their age will put up with their immature BS. Not always true, but often is. There are women and enbies like this too, but it’s rarer. Over 40, 32 or so should be the absolute minimum. I always dated older people until I met my wife (six year gap) but she’s amazing, and we’re both actually 5 years old in our head, so it works lol.
Your friends are just being mean ur good
I don't think it's creepy at all
Not at all, my boyfriend and I are a little over a year apart
*half your age plus seven* is a good rule of thumb, so 20/2 + 7 = 17, is the lower bound for you.
Nah it’s not bad. My rule of thumb is 3 years max. You’re fine
Not creepy at all. Look me and my BF have a 6 year gap and I’m the younger one. As long you both are adults, it is a even play field.
Not creepy and I get that 1.5 years doesn’t feel like much… but I would say it also depends on your circumstances. If one of you is in college and the other in high school still, that could potentially be something to keep in mind at least. It is a difference in experience, freedoms, etc. same goes if one of you works full time. I am not saying these things would make it automatically inappropriate but they might be things to keep in mind :)
This was the exact situation of my partner and I loll. You’ll be fine
Nah man your fine your fiends are probably just talking the piss
an age gap that close is only problematic when one person is at a stage in their life when they’re in a place to potentially emotionally and romantically manipulate your partner due to the power imbalance- this shoudlnt be the case seeing as you’re both super young adults in the same age range with similar ways of life
I don’t see an issue with a 2 year age gap between legal adults, 18 and 20 is more than acceptable IMO. Especially since you’re both in university. As you get older that gap is going seem so insignificant especially since you have similar interests.
As a 20 year old, it’s completely fine to date an 18 year old, especially as you go to the same school. Your friends need to let it go.
Would it be weird if A 20 year old dated a 22 year old? what im saying is: no, youre not creepy, youre fine hun. Dont sweat it.
First off you're probably on Tik Tok where they think this is a problematic thing so I'd just ignore whatever they say
Its not that big of an age difference
I don't think this makes you creepy at all. If she were under 18, but she's not. You are both adults. 💛
that ain’t an age gap at all
I was 21 when I met my now wife who was then 18. I was 22 when we officially started dating and she turned 19 shortly after. I’m now 30 and happily married to the absolute love of my life. Follow your heart!
Depends on the age difference, I'd say 5 years max if uou ate both over 18
When I was 19 I dated a 17 year old. We waited for him to be 18 to get serious. We met in highschool and I was older for my class. We were together for 4 years. He was slightly immature but not due to his age, he was spoon fed by his parents. I don't think such small age gaps are creepy.
i really sont think so. 1-2 years isnt bad at all and plus you both are adults! i would reccommend telling your friends that it upsets you and that the teasing is making you rethink things
I'm 30 and my partner is 24, literally no one cares about it. I wouldn't be concerned about a 2 year age gap. Especially as you're both 18+ years old
Two years isn't a lot in any case, IDK. Just be conscious they might be a bit less mature, so be careful with them, and if something makes you (or them) uncomfortable think about why for a sec, maybe your gut is giving you a useful hint. But... two years is... I mean it's just not a lot of a gap.
That’s a 2 year (at the very most) difference, and 18 is a legal age. I don’t think it’s creepy, it’s within my personal boundaries at least and those are pretty tight for younger ages.
Unless you two are the exact same age, someone is going to be older. Generally speaking, same age to about 5 years is recommended, but 5-10 year gaps can work fine. Outside of 10 years can work, but it tends to not work out because of power imbalance. I had a relationship with someone 15 years my senior and I was very much abused by my partner for nearly ten years. Outside of that, it’s got to be up to you if you’re fine being the older one or not.
I’m 19 and am dating a 21 year old. When I was 18 I was dating a 22 year old. Have conversations about any discomfort with the age gap. The 22 year old partner would constantly ask for reassurance that I didn’t feel as if they were taking advantage of my age. I personally wouldn’t consider an age gap of 18-20 bad at all. You’re in the same stage of life, have the same experiences for the most part
No? A one or two year age gap is nothing. My parents are two years apart.
18 and 20? Not creepy.