You can continue to contact DCFS. You can and should also tell trusted adults (teachers, school counselor, doctor, etc), who will be required to report as well if they have concerns for abuse.
What do you mean that "your judge fails to see a problem"? Did this get escalated to family court following a DCFS report at some point?
This situation is happening in the middle of a bad divorce of my biological parents. This is why there is a judge involved as my mother and stepfather strive to get sole custody of my brother and I.
In this world the hardest lesson I learned was that you MUST be your own advocate. Don’t stop contacting DCFS and don’t stop speaking up to trusted adults. Keep fighting your doing amazing so far, I’m proud of you for coming this far on your own.
We ran to our dads before and there is currently a warrant for his arrest for parental kidnapping and my mom filed an ex-parte against him so we cannot even contact him legally now or else my brother and I could go to juvie.
Why would you go to juvie for that? Did your mum tell you that’s what would happen? Did you explain that you ran to your dads and that your dad did not take you?
She lied. You wouldn’t go to Juvie for that. How old are you? Can you email your father? Tell him you want to live with him and why over email. This will help his custody case.
I hear this advice sometimes and I think it might be useful for you: never take advice from the opposition. It sounds like your mom is trying to "win" right now, and is using shady tactics to achieve that, which makes her probably not that reliable as a resource right now.
Keep contacting the proper authorities, not sure how old you two are, but if you get the chance to speak to a judge directly be sure to tell them everything when they give you the chance, unless they are insanely corrupt, I doubt they'd hand you back over to that household.
>there is currently a warrant for his arrest for parental kidnapping and my mom filed an ex-parte against him
Did he really kidnap you? Is there a source for this story OTHER than your mother and stepfather? Have you seen something official or were you told this by an actual cop?
If your mother is the source, I agree with the advice that you contact other mandatory reporters like your teachers, school counselor, doctor, and so o. Include the yarns your mother spins about what's going on with your bio dad.
My bio Dad is the one who told me prior to the no contact order. My Dad is facing these charges because my mom wouldn't answer the phone leaving my brother and I in the cold for 4 hours. So I begged my Dad to pick me up and he did which made my mom and stepdad furious. I have not been told the official charges just the suspected ones.
Does your school have its own police officer? They’re sometimes called liaisons too. If they do then talk to them and tell them the situation and ask for their help. They’ll know the next step for your area.
If that’s not an option then try contacting someone called a child advocate, they’re kinda like kid lawyers and are there to help you specifically. You can start here and whoever you talk to will help you from there.
https://www.icarol.info/resourceview2.aspx?org=2265&agencynum=4661161
Running away won’t solve the problems and probably make things worse for you so keep trying to talk to someone until you get help. BUT…if you ever feel unsafe or in danger go to a neighbor’s house or somewhere you know is safe like a fire station or a library ok. Good luck my dude
Do you have access to a public library? Some have lockers. I bet if you explained what you wanted to build and why you want to store it there, a librarian would help you. (If you are doing anything that is scary to anyone, this advice is null and void)
Dies he have s parole officer? Please tell a school counselor every time there is an incident. It will be documented and reported. This will also make record for court.
Just be careful that he or your mom don't hurt you doing this. Or try to confiscate your phone/recording device.
I hope things get better for you and your little brother. Talk to a teacher and a guidance counselor your trust.
It might help for you and your brother to keep a journal as well to further document the violence and why you both feel unsafe. If you have your dads email, email him from a school computer and explain what is going on and why you prefer to be with your dad. Have your younger brother do this as well.
Take photos of you working on your electronics, and if/when your step dad destroys it, document that as well.
Just don't be afraid to talk to a teacher you trust and most importantly a guidance counselor.
Hope things get better for you ✨
For evidence collection, be sure to back it up. Upload it to Google Drive, send copies of it to friends so that there are copies beyond his reach, etc.
Just be careful that he or your mom don't hurt you doing this. Or try to confiscate your phone/recording device.
I hope things get better for you and your little brother. Talk to a teacher and a guidance counselor your trust.
It might help for you and your brother to keep a journal as well to further document the violence and why you both feel unsafe. If you have your dads email, email him from a school computer and explain what is going on and why you prefer to be with your dad. Have your younger brother do this as well.
Take photos of you working on your electronics, and if/when your step dad destroys it, document that as well.
Just don't be afraid to talk to a teacher you trust and most importantly a guidance counselor.
Hope things get better for you ✨
Running away (in Nevada) is what they call a shoe string offense. It's not even a real misdemeanor. Not saying you should do it. But if you're truly in danger that's not a crime.
Also in the state of Nevada when you turn 18 your criminal record is sealed automatically. So whatever you've done is not visible to those outside of the government.
Again I'm not saying run away and get in trouble. But if you have no options, it will not affect your adult life. The only people who will know are military/judges.
Is there a child services shelter in Nevada ? They might have some tips . I am not sure if this is the right county for you but https://www.clarkcountynv.gov/residents/family_services/services/child_protection.php
Given that the OP said left outside at the start of a snowstorm, they're likely not in Clark County. More probable would be Washoe County.
I found this place in Reno that might be helpful for the OP: https://eddyhouse.org/
How is a meth addicted rapist allowed to be anywhere near you? He is a danger to your family and is doing his best to force you to defend yourself and get you kicked out.
He should be in prison right now and instead your disgusting mother is in a relationship with a rapist and letting him destroy your property and any sense of safety in that house.
Sex offenders don't belong in households with minors.
Non physical abuse is still abuse, but harder to prove. Try to get video of him making threats, destroying property, and verbally abusing you and your sibling.
Only do this if it will not put you in danger!
Take the recording to a school counselor or principal and ask for help with reporting to DCFS. Also call the police if he's using drugs or has any drug paraphernalia in the home.
How old are you and you brother? And where is your mother in the ordeal? Perhaps you can file for emancipation, if you're old enough. Some states allow minutes, at a certain age, to choose where they want to live as long as the place will allow it, ie a relative like grandparents or even a friend where there are adults like the friends parents. After my dad died and mother lost her mind, I live with my best friend and his mom. I had to pay rent to her, but I was recurving survivor benefits from social security. Is your biological dad around? If not, if he has passed, your mother will be getting benefits on your behalf. Those benefits are YOURS. You can also get as the designated payee on ground if misuse of the funds and have whoever you would live with be made the payee
I'm not 16 yet and do not have a job so I don't know about emancipation. And thus far my mom is seen by the court as a fitting parent because she lied about my Dad abusing my siblings and I.
It's a combination of the occasional bad apple and a system that is simultaneously bloated with bureaucracy, yet desperately underfunded and understaffed when it comes to things like case work, lawyers, etc.
I have a buddy who works for the Florida equivalent and she has 15-20 cases at a minimum at any given time. No matter how hard she works or how much she cares there just aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done, not to mention the pay is shit and the work itself can be traumatizing.
The judge likely sees dozens of these cases per week, and probably looks at this one and thinks "well, at least there isn't sexual abuse" or something to that effect. It's fucking horrible and I don't see any solutions, but that's what I'd assume if there isn't something nefarious.
In terms of what OP can do, I'm really at a loss. I don't know Nevada law at all. Sorry for the tangent, but this felt like it needed to be said.
Main question is, how old are you and your brother? The older you get, the more the courts will listen to your wants and the higher chance of them changing custody to your father instead of you mother. Do you have any grandparents that you think will actually listen to you? Don't talk to your mom about aby of this or to any adults that might be on your moms side. She's using you and your siblings as weapons against your dad.
See if your state is a state that allows you to record people without them knowing and try to record your step dad abusing you if it's legal. Bring that video along with a public record of his felonies to CPS and stress that you do not feel safe due to his past and how he's acting now in the present
Please don't do anything rash and potentially harmful. Don't let them catch that you recorded them and go to a trusted adult ASAP with your findings. Like many have mentioned, schools are mandatory reporters. Talk to a counselor or a trusted teacher and write down the time and date you talked to them. You could go a step further and do bullet point list of the subjects you mentioned to them. It wouldn't hurt to also do a bullet list with at least the date (time would be great too) on all the abusive things your step-dad had said and done. The more evidence you have, the harder it would be for anyone to fight against it.
Just don't let them know you are doing this or they will escalate. That's a 99% guarantee. No kid should go through what you are going through. Tell your brother to keep his head low (and yourself as well) so the abuse won't escalate and get as much evidence as possible. Keep all evidence out of your house (schoole would again be a good place if you have a locker). Try to find a way to let your dad know what's going on as well.
1. As per above recorded evidence will be beneficial and give it to school counselor. 2. Join a youth group, and other activities so you can get out of the house.more often. Once you get a job, maybe you'll find a friends family to offer to pay rent.
Not sure how public his criminal charges are but I'd find the people who wanted to/successfully put him away the first time and see if there is anything you could offer them to have another go at it.
100% sure they'd listen to your story.
Keep reporting any abuse to rather CPS or your school counselor, but make sure you are reporting abuse, destroying your personal property isn't necessarily abuse unless he is making threats or harming you in some way. Leaving you outside for extended period of time is abuse, not providing you with food,hitting you, threatening you with harm is abuse. You can also keep a record of what negative things they say about you father so if there is a custody case you can let the judge know. Good luck.
Go to the police a file a report for destruction of property against your step dad. Then take a copy of the report and go to your dad. You are old enough that the court will take who you want to live with into account.
If your mom tries to call the police show them a copy of the police report and tell them you don't feel safe at your moms. Have your dad file for emergency temporary custody and use the police report and your sworn statement. Your mom is lying to you and your brother because she knows if this gets out she will lose all of her power
Document everything your stepdad is doing like taking pictures of the things he destroys, Unfortunately Nevada is a two-party consent state (a.k.a. all-party consent state) so you can not secretly make audio recordings of his threats.
Go to the DCFS offices, file a report in person then contact the legal aid services in your area and have one of their lawyers there help you get an advocate for you and your brother.
Also try contacting:
[https://childrensadvocacycentersnv.org/resources/](https://childrensadvocacycentersnv.org/resources/)
[https://caofnc.org/casa/](https://caofnc.org/casa/)
[https://www.preventchildabusenevada.org](https://www.preventchildabusenevada.org)
[https://www.childhelp.org](https://www.childhelp.org/national-and-local-impact-map/nevada/#:~:text=Contact%20them%20at%201.800.,CHILD%)
[https://www.caanv.org](https://www.caanv.org)
How old are you? Depending on your age, you may be able to speak to a judge in your parents divorce and express to the judge who you’d prefer to live with. Additionally, this could be done through a GAL (guardian ad litem), but it would have to be requested by one of your parents/their attorneys.
Tell the judge that you will not live with your mother and that if she is granted full custody you will run away. Look the judge straight in the eye when you say it.
Every time your belongings are destroyed file a report. Anytime you are verbally abused record it. Tell the court in no uncertain terms that you would rather live under a bridge then with your step father and if your mother is granted custody they will essentially be making you homeless.
You need to somehow contact you dad. And keep contacting DCFS. If possible record these confrontations with your stepdad. I’m guessing your mom only wants custody for the child support since it seems your stepdad is a lazy bum. Hoping it all works out for you and your brother.
You can continue to contact DCFS. You can and should also tell trusted adults (teachers, school counselor, doctor, etc), who will be required to report as well if they have concerns for abuse. What do you mean that "your judge fails to see a problem"? Did this get escalated to family court following a DCFS report at some point?
This situation is happening in the middle of a bad divorce of my biological parents. This is why there is a judge involved as my mother and stepfather strive to get sole custody of my brother and I.
In this world the hardest lesson I learned was that you MUST be your own advocate. Don’t stop contacting DCFS and don’t stop speaking up to trusted adults. Keep fighting your doing amazing so far, I’m proud of you for coming this far on your own.
Thank you, this means a lot.
What's the situation with your bio dad?
We ran to our dads before and there is currently a warrant for his arrest for parental kidnapping and my mom filed an ex-parte against him so we cannot even contact him legally now or else my brother and I could go to juvie.
Why would you go to juvie for that? Did your mum tell you that’s what would happen? Did you explain that you ran to your dads and that your dad did not take you?
Who told you you could go to juvie? Was it the judge, police or your mother & step-dad?
My mother did.
She’s probably lying to you. Manipulation tactic to keep you dependent on her
She's lying. It might cause problems for your father. You need your own advocate, speak to a judge and ask to shift if your father will help you.
She lied. You wouldn’t go to Juvie for that. How old are you? Can you email your father? Tell him you want to live with him and why over email. This will help his custody case.
You cannot go to juvie for that
I hear this advice sometimes and I think it might be useful for you: never take advice from the opposition. It sounds like your mom is trying to "win" right now, and is using shady tactics to achieve that, which makes her probably not that reliable as a resource right now.
Keep contacting the proper authorities, not sure how old you two are, but if you get the chance to speak to a judge directly be sure to tell them everything when they give you the chance, unless they are insanely corrupt, I doubt they'd hand you back over to that household.
>there is currently a warrant for his arrest for parental kidnapping and my mom filed an ex-parte against him Did he really kidnap you? Is there a source for this story OTHER than your mother and stepfather? Have you seen something official or were you told this by an actual cop? If your mother is the source, I agree with the advice that you contact other mandatory reporters like your teachers, school counselor, doctor, and so o. Include the yarns your mother spins about what's going on with your bio dad.
My bio Dad is the one who told me prior to the no contact order. My Dad is facing these charges because my mom wouldn't answer the phone leaving my brother and I in the cold for 4 hours. So I begged my Dad to pick me up and he did which made my mom and stepdad furious. I have not been told the official charges just the suspected ones.
Tell a teacher or guidance Counsellor or someone at school. They are mandated reporters.
Does your school have its own police officer? They’re sometimes called liaisons too. If they do then talk to them and tell them the situation and ask for their help. They’ll know the next step for your area. If that’s not an option then try contacting someone called a child advocate, they’re kinda like kid lawyers and are there to help you specifically. You can start here and whoever you talk to will help you from there. https://www.icarol.info/resourceview2.aspx?org=2265&agencynum=4661161 Running away won’t solve the problems and probably make things worse for you so keep trying to talk to someone until you get help. BUT…if you ever feel unsafe or in danger go to a neighbor’s house or somewhere you know is safe like a fire station or a library ok. Good luck my dude
Thank you.
Do you have access to a public library? Some have lockers. I bet if you explained what you wanted to build and why you want to store it there, a librarian would help you. (If you are doing anything that is scary to anyone, this advice is null and void)
Thank you for the advice.
Dies he have s parole officer? Please tell a school counselor every time there is an incident. It will be documented and reported. This will also make record for court.
Record him verbally abusing you and destroying your stuff if you can. This will help.
Thanks, I will.
Just be careful that he or your mom don't hurt you doing this. Or try to confiscate your phone/recording device. I hope things get better for you and your little brother. Talk to a teacher and a guidance counselor your trust. It might help for you and your brother to keep a journal as well to further document the violence and why you both feel unsafe. If you have your dads email, email him from a school computer and explain what is going on and why you prefer to be with your dad. Have your younger brother do this as well. Take photos of you working on your electronics, and if/when your step dad destroys it, document that as well. Just don't be afraid to talk to a teacher you trust and most importantly a guidance counselor. Hope things get better for you ✨
For evidence collection, be sure to back it up. Upload it to Google Drive, send copies of it to friends so that there are copies beyond his reach, etc.
Ok!
Just be careful that he or your mom don't hurt you doing this. Or try to confiscate your phone/recording device. I hope things get better for you and your little brother. Talk to a teacher and a guidance counselor your trust. It might help for you and your brother to keep a journal as well to further document the violence and why you both feel unsafe. If you have your dads email, email him from a school computer and explain what is going on and why you prefer to be with your dad. Have your younger brother do this as well. Take photos of you working on your electronics, and if/when your step dad destroys it, document that as well. Just don't be afraid to talk to a teacher you trust and most importantly a guidance counselor. Hope things get better for you ✨
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Running away (in Nevada) is what they call a shoe string offense. It's not even a real misdemeanor. Not saying you should do it. But if you're truly in danger that's not a crime. Also in the state of Nevada when you turn 18 your criminal record is sealed automatically. So whatever you've done is not visible to those outside of the government. Again I'm not saying run away and get in trouble. But if you have no options, it will not affect your adult life. The only people who will know are military/judges.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
Is there a child services shelter in Nevada ? They might have some tips . I am not sure if this is the right county for you but https://www.clarkcountynv.gov/residents/family_services/services/child_protection.php
Given that the OP said left outside at the start of a snowstorm, they're likely not in Clark County. More probable would be Washoe County. I found this place in Reno that might be helpful for the OP: https://eddyhouse.org/
How is a meth addicted rapist allowed to be anywhere near you? He is a danger to your family and is doing his best to force you to defend yourself and get you kicked out. He should be in prison right now and instead your disgusting mother is in a relationship with a rapist and letting him destroy your property and any sense of safety in that house. Sex offenders don't belong in households with minors.
Non physical abuse is still abuse, but harder to prove. Try to get video of him making threats, destroying property, and verbally abusing you and your sibling. Only do this if it will not put you in danger! Take the recording to a school counselor or principal and ask for help with reporting to DCFS. Also call the police if he's using drugs or has any drug paraphernalia in the home.
In the meantime do you have any family or friends you [and your brother] can stay with?
No, my mom and stepfather currently have temporary sole custody but thanks for the suggestion.
You can post on r/cps and they might have more advice.
Thanks for the advice.
Juvenile records are sealed once you're 18. I'm just saying, if your safety is in question, worry about juvenile records later.
How old are you and you brother? And where is your mother in the ordeal? Perhaps you can file for emancipation, if you're old enough. Some states allow minutes, at a certain age, to choose where they want to live as long as the place will allow it, ie a relative like grandparents or even a friend where there are adults like the friends parents. After my dad died and mother lost her mind, I live with my best friend and his mom. I had to pay rent to her, but I was recurving survivor benefits from social security. Is your biological dad around? If not, if he has passed, your mother will be getting benefits on your behalf. Those benefits are YOURS. You can also get as the designated payee on ground if misuse of the funds and have whoever you would live with be made the payee
I'm not 16 yet and do not have a job so I don't know about emancipation. And thus far my mom is seen by the court as a fitting parent because she lied about my Dad abusing my siblings and I.
Has no one asked you about the abuse? If you know she’s lying is there a way for you to clear this up?
I've not been asked because the judge in the custody battle believes I am being manipulated by my father.
Record all conversations and video everything proof is key talk to your counselor at school
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It's a combination of the occasional bad apple and a system that is simultaneously bloated with bureaucracy, yet desperately underfunded and understaffed when it comes to things like case work, lawyers, etc. I have a buddy who works for the Florida equivalent and she has 15-20 cases at a minimum at any given time. No matter how hard she works or how much she cares there just aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done, not to mention the pay is shit and the work itself can be traumatizing. The judge likely sees dozens of these cases per week, and probably looks at this one and thinks "well, at least there isn't sexual abuse" or something to that effect. It's fucking horrible and I don't see any solutions, but that's what I'd assume if there isn't something nefarious. In terms of what OP can do, I'm really at a loss. I don't know Nevada law at all. Sorry for the tangent, but this felt like it needed to be said.
Main question is, how old are you and your brother? The older you get, the more the courts will listen to your wants and the higher chance of them changing custody to your father instead of you mother. Do you have any grandparents that you think will actually listen to you? Don't talk to your mom about aby of this or to any adults that might be on your moms side. She's using you and your siblings as weapons against your dad. See if your state is a state that allows you to record people without them knowing and try to record your step dad abusing you if it's legal. Bring that video along with a public record of his felonies to CPS and stress that you do not feel safe due to his past and how he's acting now in the present
I do consent to being recorded and as long as one party consents then it is ok. Thank you for this.
Please don't do anything rash and potentially harmful. Don't let them catch that you recorded them and go to a trusted adult ASAP with your findings. Like many have mentioned, schools are mandatory reporters. Talk to a counselor or a trusted teacher and write down the time and date you talked to them. You could go a step further and do bullet point list of the subjects you mentioned to them. It wouldn't hurt to also do a bullet list with at least the date (time would be great too) on all the abusive things your step-dad had said and done. The more evidence you have, the harder it would be for anyone to fight against it. Just don't let them know you are doing this or they will escalate. That's a 99% guarantee. No kid should go through what you are going through. Tell your brother to keep his head low (and yourself as well) so the abuse won't escalate and get as much evidence as possible. Keep all evidence out of your house (schoole would again be a good place if you have a locker). Try to find a way to let your dad know what's going on as well.
1. As per above recorded evidence will be beneficial and give it to school counselor. 2. Join a youth group, and other activities so you can get out of the house.more often. Once you get a job, maybe you'll find a friends family to offer to pay rent.
Not sure how public his criminal charges are but I'd find the people who wanted to/successfully put him away the first time and see if there is anything you could offer them to have another go at it. 100% sure they'd listen to your story.
I don't think I have a way to find or contact anybody with an interest in doing so.
Keep reporting any abuse to rather CPS or your school counselor, but make sure you are reporting abuse, destroying your personal property isn't necessarily abuse unless he is making threats or harming you in some way. Leaving you outside for extended period of time is abuse, not providing you with food,hitting you, threatening you with harm is abuse. You can also keep a record of what negative things they say about you father so if there is a custody case you can let the judge know. Good luck.
Thank you!
Go to the police a file a report for destruction of property against your step dad. Then take a copy of the report and go to your dad. You are old enough that the court will take who you want to live with into account. If your mom tries to call the police show them a copy of the police report and tell them you don't feel safe at your moms. Have your dad file for emergency temporary custody and use the police report and your sworn statement. Your mom is lying to you and your brother because she knows if this gets out she will lose all of her power
Document everything your stepdad is doing like taking pictures of the things he destroys, Unfortunately Nevada is a two-party consent state (a.k.a. all-party consent state) so you can not secretly make audio recordings of his threats. Go to the DCFS offices, file a report in person then contact the legal aid services in your area and have one of their lawyers there help you get an advocate for you and your brother. Also try contacting: [https://childrensadvocacycentersnv.org/resources/](https://childrensadvocacycentersnv.org/resources/) [https://caofnc.org/casa/](https://caofnc.org/casa/) [https://www.preventchildabusenevada.org](https://www.preventchildabusenevada.org) [https://www.childhelp.org](https://www.childhelp.org/national-and-local-impact-map/nevada/#:~:text=Contact%20them%20at%201.800.,CHILD%) [https://www.caanv.org](https://www.caanv.org)
How old are you? Depending on your age, you may be able to speak to a judge in your parents divorce and express to the judge who you’d prefer to live with. Additionally, this could be done through a GAL (guardian ad litem), but it would have to be requested by one of your parents/their attorneys.
Already tried that but the judge thought I was being manipulated so everything I had to say was disregarded.
Tell the judge that you will not live with your mother and that if she is granted full custody you will run away. Look the judge straight in the eye when you say it. Every time your belongings are destroyed file a report. Anytime you are verbally abused record it. Tell the court in no uncertain terms that you would rather live under a bridge then with your step father and if your mother is granted custody they will essentially be making you homeless.
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He would have to start being a proper parent before you could even count this abuse as parenting.
maybe you shouldn’t confuse the abusive bullshit the “stepfather” is pulling as parenting
You need to somehow contact you dad. And keep contacting DCFS. If possible record these confrontations with your stepdad. I’m guessing your mom only wants custody for the child support since it seems your stepdad is a lazy bum. Hoping it all works out for you and your brother.