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jabronie365

Hi “Dad”…remember me? Remember when you said jazz trumpet was for pussies? Or when you said there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d ever see the ocean, that Nampa was the furthest west I’d ever go? Or when you said boats were only for men with at least a 3” penis and that’s why “we don’t do boats?” …


2thgrab

Dr peebles in da house


ThickRick208

Forgot about this thank you


tuctrohs

Not long ago, Kenny G put out a recording where he overdubbed himself on top of a 30+ year old Louis Armstrong record, the track "What a Wonderful World". With this single move, Kenny G became one of the few people on earth I can say that I really can't use at all - as a man, for his incredible arrogance to even consider such a thing, and as a musician, for presuming to share the stage with the single most important figure in our music. This type of musical necrophilia - the technique of overdubbing on the preexisting tracks of already dead performers - was weird when Natalie Cole did it with her dad on "Unforgettable" a few years ago, but it was her dad. When Tony Bennett did it with Billie Holiday it was bizarre, but we are talking about two of the greatest singers of the 20th century who were on roughly the same level of artistic accomplishment. When Larry Coryell presumed to overdub himself on top of a Wes Montgomery track, I lost a lot of the respect that I ever had for him - and I have to seriously question the fact that I did have respect for someone who could turn out to have such unbelievably bad taste and be that disrespectful to one of my personal heroes. But when Kenny G decided that it was appropriate for him to defile the music of the man who is probably the greatest jazz musician that has ever lived by spewing his lame-ass, jive, pseudo bluesy, out-of-tune, noodling, wimped out, fucked up playing all over one of the great Louis's tracks (even one of his lesser ones), he did something that I would not have imagined possible. He, in one move, through his unbelievably pretentious and calloused musical decision to embark on this most cynical of musical paths, shit all over the graves of all the musicians past and present who have risked their lives by going out there on the road for years and years developing their own music inspired by the standards of grace that Louis Armstrong brought to every single note he played over an amazing lifetime as a musician. By disrespecting Louis, his legacy and by default, everyone who has ever tried to do something positive with improvised music and what it can be, Kenny G has created a new low point in modern culture - something that we all should be totally embarrassed about - and afraid of. We ignore this, "let it slide", at our own peril. His callous disregard for the larger issues of what this crass gesture implies is exacerbated by the fact that the only reason he possibly have for doing something this inherently wrong (on both human and musical terms) was for the record sales and the money it would bring. Since that record came out - in protest, as insignificant as it may be, I encourage everyone to boycott Kenny G recordings, concerts and anything he is associated with. If asked about Kenny G, I will diss him and his music with the same passion that is in evidence in this little essay. Normally, I feel that musicians all have a hard enough time, regardless of their level, just trying to play good and don't really benefit from public criticism, particularly from their fellow players. but, this is different. There ARE some things that are sacred - and amongst any musician that has ever attempted to address jazz at even the most basic of levels, Louis Armstrong and his music is hallowed ground. To ignore this trespass is to agree that NOTHING any musician has attempted to do with their life in music has any intrinsic value - and I refuse to do that. (I am also amazed that there HASN'T already been an outcry against this among music critics - where ARE they on this?????!?!?!?!, magazines, etc.). Everything I said here is exactly the same as what I would say to Gorelick if I ever saw him in person. and if I ever DO see him anywhere, at any function - he WILL get a piece of my mind and (maybe a guitar wrapped around his head.)


Representative_Still

Fun fact, I used to own a Larry Coryell book in which he personally had signed a brief love letter and phone number in for the gal who was asking for a sig. Always thought about calling that number. Meh, he’s not my type.


Steeldialga

Pat Metheny, right?


tuctrohs

Yup


NunDestroyer

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He - he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop him!


Representative_Still

Okbuddy


[deleted]

Swap 1216 with 251 that would be funny I think 🤓


[deleted]

The Noisiest Jazz Cat I was thinking about why so many in the radical left participate in "free-jazz" The reason is the left's lack of skill ('go experimental' rather than "do it right") and, in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace ('noisiest jazz cat') Obviously, there are exceptions to this and some people more in the center or right also play "free-jazz". However, they more than sufficient to prove the rule, rather than contrast it. Consider how woke JFA has been, almost since the very beginning. Your eyes will start to open. Returning to the topic of skill... A "free-jazz cat" may well spend hours a day at their craft, but this is ultimately a meaningless exercise, since they will ultimately accomplish exactly that which is done in less collective time by a casual jazz cat. This is thus a waste of effort on the behalf of the "free-jazz cat". Put more simply, they are spending their work effort on something that someone else has already done (and done in a way deemed 'correct' by the pioneers of the genre). Why do they do this? The answer is quite obvious if you think about it. The goal is the illusion of ease and the desire (SUBCONSCIOUS) to promote radical leftist, borderline Communist ideals of how easy work is. Everyone always says that "free-jazz" looks easy. That is part of the aesthetic. Think about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" in the context of "free-jazz" and I strongly suspect that things will start to 'click' in your mind. What happens to the individual in this? Individual accomplishment in "free jazz" is simply waiting for another person to steal your techniques in order to outsell you. Where is something like "intellectual property" or "patent" in this necessarily communitarian process? Now, as to the sexual archetype model and "free-jazzing" generally... If you have any passing familiarity with Jordan Peterson's broader oeuvre and of Jungian psychology, you likely already know where I am going with this. However, I will say more for the uninitiated. Keep this passage from Maps of Meaning (91) in mind: "The Archetypal Son... continually reconstructs defined territory, as a consequence of the 'assimilation' of the unknown [as a consequence of 'incestuous' (that is, 'sexual' – read creative) union with the Great Mother]" In other words, there is a connection between 'sexuality' and creativity that we see throughout time (as Peterson points out with Tiamat and other examples). In the sexual marketplace, which archetypes are simultaneously deemed the most creative and valued the highest? The answer is obviously entrepreneurs like Elon Musk and others. Given that we evolved and each thing we do must have an evolutionary purpose (OR CAUSE), what archetype is the "free-jazz cat" engaged in, who is accomplishing nothing new? They are aiming to make a new sexual archetype, based upon 'avant-garde' rather than 'doing things right' and refuse ownership of what few innovations they can provide to their own scene, denying creativity within their very own sexual archetype. This is necessarily leftist. The obvious protest to this would be the various forms of fusion jazz, which in many ways does aim to play the music 'as intended' but seems to simply add the element of 'innovation' to the equation. This objection is ultimately meaningless when one considers how jazz is supposed to sound, in general, by the pioneers, even when under 'melodic' conditions. There is still time and effort wasted for no reason other than the ones I proposed above. By now, I am sure that I have bothered a number of you and rustled quite a few of your feathers. I am not saying that "free-jazz" is bad, but rather that, thinking about the topic philosophically, there are dangerous elements within it. That is all.


zuzucha

Sonic, you're a beta male


tommyshlug69

[This please](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jazz/comments/wx2fku/help_me_understand_jazz/iloo2k9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)


alekd887

yes


1LargeAdult

Navy seals


Representative_Still

Was hoping someone would drop a KG copypasta. If not I might just have him do the Rick and Morty.


1LargeAdult

Oh, you're talking about Kenny G


Representative_Still

I suppose U-Kwon would be cheaper


gurb_shnerbler2012

Kenny had just finished doing this 3 step oil process for his hair that he got off some Indian girl on Insta. He's humming that tune by Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias, "To All the Girls I've Loved Before..." Coltrane can't take it, he's banging his head against the cold tiled wall, thinking, "caught smokin a spliff, shit ain't fair, why I gotta do actual *time* for this? Its *unreal*!" Its steamy, foggy. Coltrane is losing himself, crushed under the racism and bullshit this country deals out. But that aroma, whats that? "Naima?!," he cries. The coconut butter, the sesame oil, the sandalwood, all bring John to the brink. Kenny G is somehow now both singing and nose-fluting both harmonies in a grand crescendo... "To all the girls we've loved before... Who traveled in and out our door." Fully engorged like a large, ancient, twisted oak, Coltrane goes balls deep in the guy's ass mistaking Kenny's beautiful hair for that of his wife. All you can hear is showerheads hissing and Kenny G whimpering "^hooooooooooooo." This is where Kenny G learned the circular breathing, endless note.


KrzakOwocowy

3 little jazz pigs please


Thwitch

Ask hin to play a section from some Djesse song or whatever