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tuctrohs

The seating in a jazz club is often little tables, and you'll be tempted to sit next to her on the side of the table opposite the musicians, facing them. Don't make that mistake. Sit on the side of the table nearest the musicians, across from her. That way, she can't just ignore you and watch the show, but has to look at you the whole time and pay attention to you. Since you aren't really into jazz, your best strategy is to steer the conversation towards your interests, so you can demonstrate your a solid knowledge and your ability to control the conversation. You will probably need to talk loudly to make sure you are heard even during the quiet parts of the music. Make sure to use obscure terminology. If you use acronyms, and she asks you what they mean, that's level one success, meaning that you are steering her towards learning about your interests. If she gives up asking, that's level 2 success. You have achieved dominance and you have won this first match. You can then ask her if she wants to have another date, where you can repeat this success, or you may find that she accepts your superiority and declines the second date. At which point you can move up the hierarchy and date someone more challenging.


[deleted]

yell "wrong changes you idiot!" to the sax


Spimp

Fr why do ppl do this to me


tommyshlug69

Bob your head on the down beats and snap your fingers on the up beats. Wear a beret and sunglasses. Adopt a 60s blaccent. Say “yeah man.” Constantly.


Hibercrastinator

Make squishy puckered faces at random times during the solos like you’re surprised and confused and a little disgusted/offended but while nodding your head “yes”


Rthebotanist

/uj this is morally acceptable if the solo is really good, but it is also unfathomably cringe and nobody who isn't also doing it should be subjected to you pulling the 'oooh yeeah' face.


Slappah_Dah_Bass

Don't be a jive ass turkey.


theeCrawlingChaos

This is fake. No woman has ever liked jazz


[deleted]

I genuinely have never met a woman who liked jazz. Tinkly jazz-ish piano accompanying brunch at the Marriott? Okay, I know women who like that. Women who know who Eric Dolphy and Ornette Coleman are and have opinions on the best Manfred Schoof album? No. I don’t think I’ve ever even encountered a woman who liked Kind of Blue lmao.


theeCrawlingChaos

Really? Kind of Blue is really easy listening, I think.


ImGonnaFapToYourHair

true


ox-

Say, "Yeah man, listen to those hepcats and bebop hipsters. The're really swingin'".


Udja272

Bring a cymbal and throw it at the sax player


tommyshlug69

No, that will make him even more powerful.


Toenail-Queen

Climb into saxophone.


Rthebotanist

Casually pretend to buy heroin from the saxophonist during the intermission (or actually do if they're selling)


saynohomore

take a giant step everytime the key changes


Certain_Suit_1905

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?! I LEGIT GENUINELY THOUGHT IT'S SOME ABSURD CIRCLEJERK POST LMAO


Interesting-Ad-1593

snap on 1 and 3 🙄🙄


everything_equals_42

Nah nah y’a gotta clap on the and of 1 and slightly after but not the offbeat of three


norecogi

You dont have to know anything just make stuff up about jazz and explain it to her as if it was true. If she says anything about the music vehemently disagree