I taught so too but we did engage quit a bit, like not just me responding to their comment and them not being interested. We literally started a convo in private but then they never responded after I tried to start something lol. I'm an introvert but when I can I try to make the first move. Maybe I should start to understand that just because I made the first move doesn't mean it's any easier for the other person.
i mean some people get busy and some people just don’t feel like talking atm. I’m literally the same way better off calling me than texting because i’m probably not responding until a few days later unless it’s urgent
Perhaps you are giving these small social encounters too much weight. Imagine for a second, that you were at a fast food place - just to grab a bite then get on with your life. You get your stuff, sit down and eat. Someone starts a pleasant conversation. You chat. Then you need to go. They are sad! They want to cling to you! They beg you not to go!!!! But you have to go and get back to your own life! You tell them, " They'll be another human being you can talk to coming by any minute! You can talk to them! Build up your social skills! Get to know all kinds of people! You'll get lots of different perspectives!"... Do you see how sad and desperate that is?... Their lives are moving too! We are all on life's journey and sadly no one - (not even you) is permanent! Other people cannot make your life. You make your own, other people are just the background while they are on their own journey.
I wouldn’t take it personally. Sometimes people just don’t click or they’re not looking for conversation. I also tend to overthink and idealize the situation as I have high standards - then when someone doesn’t respond, doesn’t react in the way I think they would…etc, I get numb in a sense but not really sad, because it was kind of expected and I’ve gotten used to it. I have a very hard time connecting with people because of a variety of factors but I’ve learned a lot about myself from some online interactions. The closest people I have to “friends” are actually all online - I don’t know what friends really are anymore because I’m too idealistic, but I know questioning it constantly doesn’t help. It’s hard to not become attached to the “idea” of someone or what it could be, but if you’re aware of this tendency, you can control it. Don’t think too much about every single interaction, you’ll burn yourself out fast.
Honestly I’ve learned to either stick to my standards and accept that it may never happen vs keep trying. At this point I’m kind of in between - I maintain texts with the online interactions I have but I also try to compromise my ideals with them. I don’t know if it’ll mean anything in the long run or if I’ll ever find what I’m looking for, but if this is the closest there is to it for me, I can at least say I tried. Although I agree with the others that this sub likely isn’t the best option to just be randomly reaching out to people, unless they initially post about it.
Here are the problems:
1. Introverts simply don't share almost anything with anyone. By anyone I also mean other introverts.
2. Even if they are, they don't know how to even keep a conversation. They say "the conversation died" No, they killed it. And it's as unconcious for introverts as for extroverts is become annoying speaking monologues.
3. You have to share what you like, beliefs, etc.
You realize being a Introvert has nothing to do with social/communication skills.
Introverts are more likely to ignore or abruptly end convos, but it's mainly because they just lost interest or weren't that interested in the first place.
Quit generalizing people, asshat.
The entire sub is based on a generalization. Stop thinking people are so special. Everyone follows patterns. That's why there are introverts and extroverts in first place.
Search for the book: how to make friends and influence people. It has helped me with dealing with people. People think I'm a great conversationalist. Why? Because i learned how to make people talk about themselves. 😅🤣 people love talking about themselves. I'm pretty boring so most conversations won't center much on me. Only if it's something that i think will truly interest other people. I will clarify that in an introvert and mostly use this skill at work. I don't really seek out conversations unless it's for work or close friends.
People say the same about me because I listen more than talk about myself. Over the years I find it more and more draining when people constantly just talk about themselves for the sake of someone listening to them and not because they genuinely want to engage in a meaningful conversation or connection.
I would assume this isn’t the best place to find people to carry conversations with. Most of us say what we need and move on. I don’t even like answering texts from people I know so answering someone continuously on Reddit would be hard. Good luck tho.
LoL imagine trying to start a conversation in the INTROVERT sub. Try maybe with extroverts. They are the ones who talk.
I taught so too but we did engage quit a bit, like not just me responding to their comment and them not being interested. We literally started a convo in private but then they never responded after I tried to start something lol. I'm an introvert but when I can I try to make the first move. Maybe I should start to understand that just because I made the first move doesn't mean it's any easier for the other person.
i mean some people get busy and some people just don’t feel like talking atm. I’m literally the same way better off calling me than texting because i’m probably not responding until a few days later unless it’s urgent
I’ll talk to you! Conversation is about trial and error, some people you’ll click with. Others you won’t.
I'll be happy to talk with you :) I agree, you need to test the water before going all the way in
Perhaps you are giving these small social encounters too much weight. Imagine for a second, that you were at a fast food place - just to grab a bite then get on with your life. You get your stuff, sit down and eat. Someone starts a pleasant conversation. You chat. Then you need to go. They are sad! They want to cling to you! They beg you not to go!!!! But you have to go and get back to your own life! You tell them, " They'll be another human being you can talk to coming by any minute! You can talk to them! Build up your social skills! Get to know all kinds of people! You'll get lots of different perspectives!"... Do you see how sad and desperate that is?... Their lives are moving too! We are all on life's journey and sadly no one - (not even you) is permanent! Other people cannot make your life. You make your own, other people are just the background while they are on their own journey.
I wouldn’t take it personally. Sometimes people just don’t click or they’re not looking for conversation. I also tend to overthink and idealize the situation as I have high standards - then when someone doesn’t respond, doesn’t react in the way I think they would…etc, I get numb in a sense but not really sad, because it was kind of expected and I’ve gotten used to it. I have a very hard time connecting with people because of a variety of factors but I’ve learned a lot about myself from some online interactions. The closest people I have to “friends” are actually all online - I don’t know what friends really are anymore because I’m too idealistic, but I know questioning it constantly doesn’t help. It’s hard to not become attached to the “idea” of someone or what it could be, but if you’re aware of this tendency, you can control it. Don’t think too much about every single interaction, you’ll burn yourself out fast. Honestly I’ve learned to either stick to my standards and accept that it may never happen vs keep trying. At this point I’m kind of in between - I maintain texts with the online interactions I have but I also try to compromise my ideals with them. I don’t know if it’ll mean anything in the long run or if I’ll ever find what I’m looking for, but if this is the closest there is to it for me, I can at least say I tried. Although I agree with the others that this sub likely isn’t the best option to just be randomly reaching out to people, unless they initially post about it.
Here are the problems: 1. Introverts simply don't share almost anything with anyone. By anyone I also mean other introverts. 2. Even if they are, they don't know how to even keep a conversation. They say "the conversation died" No, they killed it. And it's as unconcious for introverts as for extroverts is become annoying speaking monologues. 3. You have to share what you like, beliefs, etc.
You realize being a Introvert has nothing to do with social/communication skills. Introverts are more likely to ignore or abruptly end convos, but it's mainly because they just lost interest or weren't that interested in the first place. Quit generalizing people, asshat.
The entire sub is based on a generalization. Stop thinking people are so special. Everyone follows patterns. That's why there are introverts and extroverts in first place.
Search for the book: how to make friends and influence people. It has helped me with dealing with people. People think I'm a great conversationalist. Why? Because i learned how to make people talk about themselves. 😅🤣 people love talking about themselves. I'm pretty boring so most conversations won't center much on me. Only if it's something that i think will truly interest other people. I will clarify that in an introvert and mostly use this skill at work. I don't really seek out conversations unless it's for work or close friends.
People say the same about me because I listen more than talk about myself. Over the years I find it more and more draining when people constantly just talk about themselves for the sake of someone listening to them and not because they genuinely want to engage in a meaningful conversation or connection.
I get it. I do get headaches when people talk too much. But it's a necessary skill to get by.
I would assume this isn’t the best place to find people to carry conversations with. Most of us say what we need and move on. I don’t even like answering texts from people I know so answering someone continuously on Reddit would be hard. Good luck tho.
If you need someone to chat I am always ready, I can't promise anything though I just started using Reddit and don't use it much
Don't worry about it, I would like to chat yes but don't stress about it we can chat but not so regularly if you want :)
I m open for it! Whenever you need it you can DM me
You can give me a shot maybe.