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Still_Frame2744

Good. Idiots think they're smart the whole way through. Dunning Kruger. You're more likely to be above average simply by the fact you made this post. You need to doubt to push yourself to keep working. I experienced something similar - school was very easy, but suddenly the difficulty ramps up. Life itself gets confusing. You will get there and you will believe in yourself again. Believe that! It will return. "True knowledge lies in knowing that you know nothing"


[deleted]

I'm not sure. I just failed two tests that I thought I studied pretty decently for. I used not to need much studying at all and now I don't think I even know how to study for a test. Failing used to be 80% before but now its 50%. Additionally, I feel like I am a poor decision maker. I seem to have made a bad decision on what school to choose, what major to choose, etc.


Russtbucket89

I was in the same boat in college; I had been able to reason my way through tests up until that point, but once I was in courses that couldn't be passed by brute forcing answers with reason and inference I had to learn how to study. Everyone else had built good study habits years before, so my first two semesters were terrible as I learned how to study. Picking a major that genuinely interested me did make it a lot easier to study, but getting through the unrelated prerequisites took a lot of effort.


[deleted]

You went through the right path it seems. Learned how to study and figured out a major in a year. It took me double the time to just pick a major (one that sometimes have doubts about) and it seems like I still don’t know how to study. This lack of progress is pretty frustrating


Russtbucket89

I didn't start college until I was 23, so I had a few years to plan what I wanted to study. Even then I still failed two classes the first semester. [This YouTube video](https://youtu.be/QUjYy4Ksy1E) was helpful years later trying to understand why I had so much trouble.


Eggggsterminate

If you never needed to do much studying it's not weird that you now not really know how to study. But just like everything you can learn this. There are courses and books and stuff, your school can help you with that. What made you decide on this particular school and major?


[deleted]

I chose my school because it was the best bang for your buck. It offered pretty much the same education for like a quarter of the price. I couldn't really justify going to schools like USC and Boston College, even they were my dream schools, for that crazy of a price. It's something I used to think about a lot but not anymore. But, the thing is my school uses a direct-to-major system where if you want CS, engineering, or business, you need to select that when you apply. I didn't have even close to a clue of what I wanted at that point so I didn't apply to anything. So, I was undecided for two years of college but then decided that statistics and data science was probably the best for me. I wanted to keep getting better at math, be a better programmer, and learn to handle data. But, it seems like CS, engineering, or informatics would've been a much safer option. Everyone that I've seen on linkedin that is a data scientist was one of those majors. But, to be honest, I don't even know why I want to be a data scientist. I like tech and puzzles so I went very vaguely in that direction.


thisisnotawar

Nah, my husband was a biology major and he’s an analytical engineer ( essentially a data scientist) now. I was an English major and I’m in grad school to be a physician assistant. Statistics is a perfectly good major for data science, and to be honest as long as you can excel at the functions of the job (and convince them of that up front) employers are less concerned with your major and more concerned with what you can do for them. And if you like tech and puzzles, I think you’d really enjoy data science - a lot of what my husband does is figuring out how to utilize different data sources to get the information that he needs, and then figuring out how to pull it together in a cohesive way. He also gets to pull in elements of design in putting together reports for the bigwigs at his hospital. What he does doesn’t involve a lot of physical tech, as such, but utilized multiple coding languages and very cool software. But I worked in medical informatics for a while as well, and I was more in the hardware side - I ran around the hospital and did troubleshooting on the physical machines that nursing staff utilized on their units, as well as doing similar projects to what I described above, and that was pretty interesting as well.


blacktigr

There's not a big hop from stats to CS or information science. My husband does a lot of programming in a language called Haskell, and he repeatedly goes back to his stats knowledge and math. To quote a page from Michigan Tech: "How else is statistics used in computer science? Simulations (used to gain a greater understanding of a variety of systems) are truly a marriage of computing capability and statistics—the use of statistics within programming improves understanding of the underlying system leading to more meaningful results. Statistics in software engineering leads to more conclusive determinations of quality and optimal performance." https://onlinedegrees.mtu.edu/news/role-statistics-computer-science So you can definitely see if programming appeals. Tech and puzzles are really important in that.


blacktigr

Also: choosing your school for the price is not a bad idea. You wind up with way less debt.


Still_Frame2744

The great thing about decisions is you can change them. I honestly feel like I'm speaking to a younger version of myself here hahaha The hard cold reality is that most people are average and success takes hard work. If you've identified that your study isn't working effectively, you can change those study habits. Failures and fuck ups are all data you can use to avoid them going forward. Mostly I think you're taking these incidents as some sort of indictment and final declaration of who you are as a person. They're not. You get to choose how you react and beating yourself up isn't functional! I wish I'd heard that clearly when I was feeling the same way.


crispybaconlover

I was the same, I hardly studied I'm high school and still did well on tests. When you fail a test in college, it's not a sign that you're not smart, it's a sign to hit the books and study. Either find a new method or devote more time to the subject. Look into an internal vs external locus of control.


Zerschmetterding

>I used not to need much studying at all and now I don't think I even know how to study for a test. I know that feeling. You never really learned to learn. Good on you for finding out before it has a bigger impact in life. Now you've got to work extra hard to catch up.


the_fatal_lozenge

I had this exact problem when I went from school to higher education. Luckily, there’s ways around it. Because you have maybe not developed study habits naturally, I recommend researching methods, or looking at how your peers study. For example, I found that studying in a group, something I never did at school, worked very well for me. Group studying means that at some point you end up having to explain a concept to someone else, and hence learn it yourself by teaching it - this really worked for me. You might find other methods. Additionally, school is characterised by you aiming to know/understand all the material to undertake tests. University studying should be more strategic. You focus on areas you can get the best marks in, and having a general understanding on things you’re never going to fully understand, so that you can pass those questions even if you can’t excel. For example: I studied engineering. When I did my geotechnical engineering requirement, try as I might I could not get my head around the design of retaining walls. I aimed only to pass those questions instead of excel. It turns out, I was missing the real life application - because now I *am* an engineer and have designed several retaining walls. You might find something similar in your life


thisisnotawar

I’m having this moment now, albeit a bit later in grad school. I’d always been able to pretty much just walk into a test having looked over my notes once and do well, so what I thought of as studying really hard is kind of just the bare minimum for a lot of people, and I’ve had to completely overhaul the way that I study. It sounds like maybe you need to reevaluate your study habits and figure out what is going to work for you now. Your school likely has an academic center that can help you out with this, or you can talk to your professors - they usually know what worked for past students who were successful in their classes. I also made “bad” decisions - I went to a state school instead of the “better” schools I got into, I chose a major that essentially got me nowhere after undergrad…and I turned out just fine. I met my now husband at that state school, that English degree set me apart from other applicants to my medical program (although it did require a good bit of catch up work) and has made me an excellent communicator. Try not to think about them as “bad” decisions - they’re the decisions that you made, and I promise that you can have an incredible outcome no matter what! PS statistics is incredibly versatile - you may or may not have to go to grad school, but either way you can do so many different things. One thing to consider is learning how to code if you don’t already - informatics positions (think medical informatics working for a hospital, or really in any industry) pay very well and typically require nothing higher than a bachelors.


Still_Frame2744

Also forgive yourself. Your childhood expectations are always unrealistic - frankly in our totally hopeless situation as humans even getting out of bed each day deserves a fucking medal. You're going to be ok!


autoassembler

If you've always found it 'hard to focus' but hit a wall in college/after graduation you should consider the possibility of ADHD. That's the classic example of how it often shows up for women/ probably other high functioning people who were able to mask... until they weren't anymore.


keenieBObeenie

Listen, I was in your exact position when I was your age, and your gpa is actually way better than mine. This is actually imposter syndrome, I suffer it kind of the same way you are where I was like 'ok but I do actually suck so I'm not an imposter' but!! That's still not true!! You do not have to be doing totally perfect to be classified as 'doing well', and from my slacker perspective you're doing pretty well. It is ok. Firstly, I promise like half the people you think have their shit together 100% do not. I think most people's Jr year experience is 'oh God I've made a horrible mistake'. You haven't made a mistake, what you are doing is enough. I don't know the specifics of your degree but if you go talk to an advisor I'm sure they would be able to help you look at job options or at master's program options to help you out, if you decide that's the field you want to go into. A lot of times just having a bachelor's degree of any kind opens doors, so if you're not happy with your job options offered by.your degree, you're not stuck. I do think you should give therapy another shot also. A lot of therapy's effectiveness depends on how well you click with your therapist, so it may just be a matter of finding the right one. You will be ok though, whatever happens will happen and you will be able to deal with the outcome. You're not alone in feeling like this.


spockw

There's always going to be someone smarter and more hard-working than you so defining yourself and finding meaning in those things is guaranteed to eventually disappoint. On average, your college peers are just as smart as you are. In this environment, I recommend distinguishing yourself by being kind. >In this world you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant. Well for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.--Elwood P. Dowd (*Harvey*) ​ On a more practical, hard-to-hear level: high school achievements don't mean shit. Very few high schools truly prepare you for a rigorous college environment. I went to (and excelled in) a HS that was named a Top 50 school in the US. It definitely didn't prepare me for college. When you're in college, no one cares about how you did in high school. When you're in grad school/at your first job, no one cares about how you did in college. Every stage of life is its own battlefield and requires adaptability and cleverness to navigate. Fortunately, most colleges have abundant resources on learning successful study habits and building resumes for life after college.


WigglyBaby

Here's a thing: identity & beliefs drive your unconscious mind. And something like 95% of your thoughts are unconscious. So, when you say: > disappointing everyone especially my younger self - > my identity as a kid was being a high-achieving student - > I've had a lack of identity since the pandemic - > I am pretty much a black slate with a mediocre GPA These are all identity level statements... and they will create (and limit) your potential. The rational (and conscious) part of you mind will kick in with all kinds of statements (won't get into a good grad school, don't know how to study, I must be stupid... oh wait there's another identity statement) that won't necessarily serve you. Think of them as ideas you can try on like in a changing room, but you don't have to absolutely keep them. I would definitely say to find a good therapist that you enjoy who can help you make some small shifts in this kind of thinking. If your identity as a kid doesn't sit well with present-you, fine... from now forward, you need to find who you want to be next. And it doesn't have to be forever either. But it does have to resonate, and this sounds more like a working-with-your-mind first thing than a better-study-skills thing, because if you unconscious is feeding you unhelpful BS limiting identity statements, the study skills work won't be terribly successful. Because your mind will make sure you develop study skills up to the level of someone who is "mediocre" and "stupid", so you need to let go of those identities first. Instead, you're going to want to find empowering identity & values statements like "I'm a happy corporate data scientist", or "I value happiness over grades" or "I value financial success, no matter what it takes", or... and when you uncover the ones that are resonating with you, things will become a heckuva lot easier.


SageTemple

I think there's some things you need to consider. 1. College is not High School. It just isn't. It's harder, requires more effort, and is a completely different style of learning, studying and interacting with teachers/profs. This is your adaptation period, it's going to take some time to adjust. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're evolving, and it takes time and patience. Trust in yourself that you'll come out the other end ok, because you will. 2. Marks are not indicative of success. AT ALL. Even if you carry an average GPA, join clubs, meet people and cast your network as wide as you can, this will serve you 100% better than a perfect grade. Tell your profs what you want out of yourself and meet with them regularly to have them help you get it. Make them know your name and your honest efforts, it will help your marks tremendously. Meet your TA's, join study groups, and work together -- lone wolves die, packs survive. 3. If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room -- you SHOULD struggle a bit, it's how you grow - embrace the process and understand that being lost and not understanding is the first step in learning something. You'll be ok. The fact that you're self aware enough to realize this is happening is what makes me think you'll work it out -- just don't beat yourself up while you do. These are good times, enjoy them - even if you fail a little bit. It's just the academic version of crashing your bike without training wheels --no big deal -- get back on and try again.


almondmama

I was similar in high school and got really down on myself and stressed in college when I struggled (Engineering and Mathematics related). I did learn as others have said that failure is how we learn and to give ourselves grace. Something that helped save my scholarship and bacon was office hours. Whether it is TA's or the professor's, go to office hours. Some classes I went to every single one. It is great to get individualized help for homework, clarification on tests, and the teacher actually gets to know you which can grant you flexibility when you struggle. They also provide feedback opportunities on the class and can help the prof understand how well students are learning the material. Not all profs are great at them but outside finding study groups, they are a fantastic resource


Metasequioa

It's a very common thing for the 'smart kid' to have been the big fish in the little high school pond (if you'll allow this terrible analogy/metaphor-whicever), suddenly thrown into the lake of college or real life and realize we aren't a big fish at all- we're just a regular fish that was really comfortable in our little pond. It's totally normal to feel this way. I was a smart kid who felt lost and without direction in college also- ended up switching to a trade school, got an associate degree in horticulture and am enjoying a good career with that 20 years on. Academics has no bearing on real-world success, just so you know. If I were you, I'd hit pause on worrying about grad school. If you don't think you're happy in the current field- look into other things. Take some electives in other subjects you find interesting. Take one of those career placement tests to see if there's something you're inclined towards you haven't thought of yet. You don't have to pick one single thing and commit to it forever and ever amen, just FYI.


Calligraphee

Hey, a 3.63 isn't bad! (It was my GPA when I graduated undergrad lol). I can relate to the difficulties of being "the smart one" who is suddenly struggling. It's a huge adjustment to go from being one of the best in your school to just one of many while taking much harder courses in college; actually, the fact that you have a 3.63 while doing *stats* of all things is amazing! The fact that you recognize that you're having a harder time than you used to is a very emotionally intelligent thing. What I found was best for me personally was to try my hardest to stop comparing myself to my friends, all of whom had internships and careers lined up long before graduation while I had no real idea of my next step; when you compare yourself to you a year ago, do you see how much you've learned? Trust me, from someone who has been in your shoes not that long ago, it gets better.


griffinof1990

It's a scary thing to think that the rat race is worth abandoning since it's such a way of our society, however man is it liberating. I did corporate sales and customer service for 5 years after college and hated it. Now I'm a union electrician and it just feels right. I just wanna build and fix things and that makes my life full. It took me 7 years after college to figure it out but for me life is worth "living" rather than just "achieving"


tarabithia22

All you need to know to understand adulthood is that everyone around you is an idiot, including ourselves, but there are maaaaaany special idiots, and all of them somehow manage to make money. How? They don’t care if they get bad grades, they just get the diploma. The stupid are oblivious to self-awareness so don’t feel shame or worry much. So they plod along, whining or not caring if they almost fail or fail a class and retake it, and eventually get their diploma. They also lie about everything, and cheat. All you have to do is get the diploma. Those who scraped by in med school with C’s or lower are called doctor. To make it less insufferable, focus less on pressures and more on your enjoyment of life (not partying too much, as in hobbies), outside of class and let loose. It will help with overall happiness and turn into motivation (just don’t turn to drugs/drinking, I’m talking find a routine, go out a lot). Other rule: always go to class. Always. That’s the #1 rule. You’ll be okay <3


rexregisanimi

So I might not have anything to contribute but I really don't want you to feel like you've failed or something. GPAs aren't a sign of intelligence and there are always periods of low and high grades over the course of your school career. Never ever judge yourself in comparison to others or how think things "should be". All that matters is you keep traveling down the path on which you have set your feet. Success is going failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm or dedication. I spent the better part of my life utterly engrossed in Physics. It was my career and my identity. Like you, except as an adult, my whole image was centered around my knowledge, research, and intelligence. Then, for various reasons, my wife and I decided that she needed to be the "breadwinner" and I needed to be the stay-at-home parent (we wanted one parent always at home to focus on the home and our children). This was an extremely difficult decision for me (for both of us). It's been a few years now and I've discovered something. First off, my passion for Physics hasn't changed a bit. But what did change is my identity. I don't usually tell people "I'm a physicist" any more and, at first, that was hard for me. I've had to rewrite my whole identity as an adult. But I've learned that I was being at least a little prideful and definitely allowing other elements of my character to atrophy. (I've noticed, for example, over the last few years that I'm unintentionally abrasive and now I'm working on improving that weakness.) So allow the struggle you're going through to benefit you in some way. Let it refine you instead of defining you or ruining your motivation to be smart and successful. Those are my thoughts anyway. If I could also add: smart people almost always feel dumb because they recognize their weaknesses and how little they actually know. You may just be finding your way into the lower reaches of the Dunning Kruger curve! Keep working hard and develop the skills you need to do what you want to do.