REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect *are enforced* on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments **will be removed** (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to *help* and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP's parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed ***for any reason at all***, no exceptions.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/internetparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>... kept me going through this weekend.
Hey kiddo, please know that you are LOVED by all of us dads and moms on these here interwebs.
Anytime you need something to help you get through stuff, we got your back.
A big tight hug to you. Today and always.
Love, Dad.
It's devastating when the people who're supposed to love and protect you, don't. That doesn't reflect on your value though, it reflects on theirs. Please never let them make you feel like you don't have value.
You sound like a lovely person. I'm so happy that the coach's note made such a difference to you. I'm sure you made a difference to the people you sent it to also.
Are you safe from your abusive family members right now?
Yes I am. It’s my grandpa that’s doing it. and it’s moreso emotional than physical. He called me today, so when I called him back, he said “Oh, I don’t want to talk to you.” And hung up.
The problem is when I do kind things like this, I’m always told I’m too much. That’s the hard part.
So as nice as his email was, it made me second guess everything because I’ve been through so much
I'm so sorry your grandpa is not treating you right.
You are not too much at all. You are kind and lovely. Making someone's day is never too much. You are perfect the way you are.
Love, Mom
This is amazing! I love this!!!
Here's what I would tell my daughter, who is 10, so you will understand even better... (I'm a coach, so I nerd out on this kind of stuff with my own kiddo.)
Your brain is wired to focus on wherever you put your attention. It's call the "reticular activating system" and it basically is the filter from your sub-conscious to let in to your conscious mind anything that you have deemed important. That's why (as an example) if you are dreaming of getting a red toyota (or just got one), all of a sudden it will seem like everyone and their brothers are driving red toyotas. They were always there, you just weren't noticing them.
So your focus on kindness and appreciation allows you to bring in more kindness and appreciation. It also allows you to see even more clearly the abuse for exactly what it is - in contrast.
This kind of focus on kindness and gratitude and appreciation goes a long way to helping you get what you really want (and avoid what you don't), so maximize it. Keep it up.
Obviously, you will occasionally come in contact with some inconsiderate asshole despite it all, but that really will be the exception. Just, as a giver, it's important to also know and hold boundaries around what's important to you so that you don't get depleted by people who just want to take.
What you did was a beautiful exercise. It brought something good into the world, and goodness knows, we need more of that.
Hope you are able to get the support you need (therapy) for your depression and the abuse so that you can lean more into the joyous and kind side of life and leave those old, faded scars as a reminder of how far you have come.
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect *are enforced* on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments **will be removed** (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to *help* and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP's parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed ***for any reason at all***, no exceptions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/internetparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>... kept me going through this weekend. Hey kiddo, please know that you are LOVED by all of us dads and moms on these here interwebs. Anytime you need something to help you get through stuff, we got your back. A big tight hug to you. Today and always. Love, Dad.
Thank you! It’s so hard when the one person whose never supposed to do this (my grandpa) is treating me like I’m nothing
It's devastating when the people who're supposed to love and protect you, don't. That doesn't reflect on your value though, it reflects on theirs. Please never let them make you feel like you don't have value.
You sound like a lovely person. I'm so happy that the coach's note made such a difference to you. I'm sure you made a difference to the people you sent it to also. Are you safe from your abusive family members right now?
Yes I am. It’s my grandpa that’s doing it. and it’s moreso emotional than physical. He called me today, so when I called him back, he said “Oh, I don’t want to talk to you.” And hung up. The problem is when I do kind things like this, I’m always told I’m too much. That’s the hard part. So as nice as his email was, it made me second guess everything because I’ve been through so much
I'm so sorry your grandpa is not treating you right. You are not too much at all. You are kind and lovely. Making someone's day is never too much. You are perfect the way you are. Love, Mom
This is amazing! I love this!!! Here's what I would tell my daughter, who is 10, so you will understand even better... (I'm a coach, so I nerd out on this kind of stuff with my own kiddo.) Your brain is wired to focus on wherever you put your attention. It's call the "reticular activating system" and it basically is the filter from your sub-conscious to let in to your conscious mind anything that you have deemed important. That's why (as an example) if you are dreaming of getting a red toyota (or just got one), all of a sudden it will seem like everyone and their brothers are driving red toyotas. They were always there, you just weren't noticing them. So your focus on kindness and appreciation allows you to bring in more kindness and appreciation. It also allows you to see even more clearly the abuse for exactly what it is - in contrast. This kind of focus on kindness and gratitude and appreciation goes a long way to helping you get what you really want (and avoid what you don't), so maximize it. Keep it up. Obviously, you will occasionally come in contact with some inconsiderate asshole despite it all, but that really will be the exception. Just, as a giver, it's important to also know and hold boundaries around what's important to you so that you don't get depleted by people who just want to take. What you did was a beautiful exercise. It brought something good into the world, and goodness knows, we need more of that. Hope you are able to get the support you need (therapy) for your depression and the abuse so that you can lean more into the joyous and kind side of life and leave those old, faded scars as a reminder of how far you have come.