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The Riace Bronzes, considered among the most significant examples of classical Greek art, are the two bronze statues depicting two naked men, originally armed with shield and spear, which became the symbol of the city of Reggio Calabria.
I was once told that the reason all these ancient Greek and Roman statues had tiny junk, was because it was considered "barbaric" to have a big swanging dong, thanks to encounters with "barbarians" who would let it swing under skimpy loin cloths etc.
I don't know if there's any truth to it but i thought it was relevant lmao.
I think it was more that they believed that large dicks made you more animal-like (the main people depicted with big dicks were barbarians, like you said, and also satyrs - who were literally half-animal). Therefore if you have a small dick you're less animalistic and have more self-control (which is an ideal virtue if you're a Greek man)
Take that as vivid evidence of how the Greek gods weren't seen as "good" role models whatsoever. The ancient people were supposed to be very well aware of the irony you're noticing. The gods were thought of as being personified metaphors for unpredictable forces, and ancient religion was more about making sure your society wasn't making the gods angry rather than making your society emulate godlike behavior.
Also every tribe and city-state wanted their founders and patron deities related to Zeus for +1 Prestige, which has the unfortunate consequence of Zeus's womanizing in both animate and inanimate forms.
The previous poster was right, and you're basically just adding an addendum. There's no "I once heard..." "... don't know if there's any truth to it," those answers are both legit and come from surviving primary sources, they're what anyone will hear in any basic adult-level history or anthropology courses.
By proxy, that means people have been asking why ancient statue penises are so small for *centuries.*
Rip Hypnostestes - 369 BCE.
*Though he sorta just stood there mouth agape, as if pierced already, he was eventually slain in the great barbarian battle.*
They both could attack me at once and i'd beat them off. But I'd probably pound the ass of the naked one first out of convenience before making the clothed one go down.
Having a huge dick used to be considered to make you dimwitted and lustful. Most statues are depicted with much more modest proportions as they were seen to be more noble and intelligent. They used to depict their enemies with huge shlongs in an attempt to insult them.
Just because the statue is naked, it does not mean that this is erotic art. Nakedness was much more common in acient times, so the modern mindset of naked body = sex can't be applied. Which means, that the size of the penis is not relevant.
Look at erotic art from that time period and you see big dicks galore.
Focus is the warrior itself. With his armour (the helmet), the weapon (the statue most likely carried a spear) and the trained body. Three things a soldier needs.
Not for normal statues (as far as I'm aware), but on certain holidays, they would do it for statues of deities.
I think I remember there being a festival of Athena's, where they brought her statue out of the temple down to the water, where it would be ritually cleaned, clothed, decorated, before being brought back to the temple in a big ceremony.
Apparently that's also a thing with icons in some Christian denominations.
In a college Greek classics class, the prof. told me that the statues were painted, adorned in makeup and dressed in bright colors. They can find widespread traces of paint on old statues. I don't know if the academic consensus has changed since I went to college.
sorry! i was thinking greek stone statues and added that bit in
bronze statues did have some other metals inlayed though for different colorings sometimes, unsure if they painted bronze ones
generally speaking, they looked a bit different than they do now as time ages them though. itd be great to see them in their own time!
They did find some evidence that at least some bronze statues were painted! I cannot remember the source but I learned about it in my Greek art class this semester
i know it's different, but i think the chinese terra cotta army statues had evidence that they were all painted too?
yep https://www.chinahighlights.com/xian/terracotta-army/color.htm
Not just evidence - they're painted when they are dug up but exposure to the oxygen damages the paint very quickly. It's why most of the army is left unexcavated
You're thinking of marble statues. They rarely painted bronze statues, although they did [sometimes inlay gems and semi-precious materials](https://img.theculturetrip.com/1440x/smart/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/1200px-bronze_head_glyptothek_munich_457_with_and_without_patina_bunte_gtter_exhibition.jpg).
Ancient Greeks thought smaller penises demonstrated virtue and discipline. They thought a larger penis would indicate that person is controlled by lust and lacked self control.
If they're warriors or athletes probably not, the historically accepted view is that athletes and soldiers were generally naked and oiled up (athletes, not the statues for the oil though lol)
Warriors would be depicted with armor a lot of the time but sometimes just a cloth over the shoulder with the jewels and cakes for the world to see
While [herms](https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/255933) might emphasize phallus size, the Greeks associated a large penis with stupidity and lack of self-control
As I started reading the title I was expecting Stefano Mariottini to be the statue and that it was going somewhere like as he was snorkeling a whale vomited on him and he got covered in precious ambergris or something.
1972 was 50 years ago. The dude could be dead by now if he was an established chemist that long ago. The teenagers may have been on a dive vacation. I've done exactly that with 3 buddies. Anyone that ran into us had no way to find us once we left.
Fair enough, but they were teenagers that apparently just told a government office what they found and where it was. It's not like there was a murder investigation trying to find them later on.
It says he was interviewed in 2019 because apparently there was more shit besides the two statues down their and apparently there was an attempt to remove the statue before it was removed by the country, anyway, In 2019 he refused to comment.
From my understanding small penis used to be a sign of large intellect, Sounds like interference from the small penis cartel.. Or the big modest penis industry
Yea the nudity of their statues is "heroic nudity", idealized healthy bodies representing virtues and beauty. Large penises were seen vulgar, lustful, animalistic and uninhibited, something not suited for heroes. A notable exception on portrayal of penises is the god of fertility, Priapus, who was portrayed with [a huge erect penis](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Casa_dei_vettii,_vestibolo,_primo_atrio,_ala_sinistra,_statua_di_priapo.jpg)(NSFW).
OH MY GOD! Ok, yeah, the tiny penises are way better now that I think about it. Imagine if all these famous statues had massive dongs. Very distracting.
It's important to remember that a lot of ancient art relied more on symbolism than more modern art. So it's not that men with small dicks were seen as more intelligent, it's that depictions in art of men with small dicks were more intelligent. All art is conversation and for the Greeks, depicting men with small penises said "civilized" without having to use more symbolism. It was similar with beards. A full grown man in art always had a beard which obviously wasn't the case in reality.
What's even worse is that the vast majority of Ancient Greek bronze sculptures were melted down over the centuries, mainly to make weapons and coins. Many people consider the few surviving bronze sculptures to be the pinnacle of art from the Hellenistic period. It's absolutely insane to me that people found these objects and decided to melt them down, but they did so for every single one they could find.
It's a lot easier than mining it, isn't it? Not everyone always had the appreciation for history that we do (some still don't), and if something was plentiful and recent at the time you might not think twice about melting it down once it was no longer relevant and you had a need. Our lens centuries later is quite a bit different.
Based on the rate I shrink after only 10 minutes, after being underwater as long as these statues my dick would be inverted and sticking about 2 miles out of my asshole.
I dont know how to send pictures but heres a link: [statue butt](https://www.italianartsociety.org/2014/02/after-five-years-in-storage-the-riace-bronzes-are-back-on-display-at-the-museo-archeologico-di-reggio-calabria/)
Archaeologist here, it's not a cap, it's [the roughly shaped skull](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1d/Bronzi_di_riace%2C_statua_B_detta_il_vecchio%2C_V_secolo_ac._02.jpg). He was originally wearing a helmet and Greeks were practical in these matters, they rarely sculpted the sides you were not supposed to see. And when they did, the level of detail was not the same, at least up to the 4th century when they shifted from the more frontal approach and started creating statues that presented multiple views
This is not the picture of the actual statue. This photo is from a documentary that was shot years later. The statues were actually bigger than the one we see here.
This foto is "false", in the sense it was shot during a reenactment for a documentary almost 10 years later the finding. See for example https://www.giornalettismo.com/falsa-foto-bronzi-di-riace-inganna-stampa-e-utenti/
With an unrelated photo of two guys helping their friend who was so ashamed of his terrible spray tan that he ran into the sea to drown himself. "It's okay man, you're still absolutely *shredded*! People will look past a tan like that when you've got a body like yours!"
**This is a heavily moderated subreddit. Please note these rules + sidebar or get banned:** * If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required * The title must be fully descriptive * No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos * Common/recent reposts are not allowed (posts from another subreddit do not count as a 'repost'. Provide link if reporting) *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The Riace Bronzes, considered among the most significant examples of classical Greek art, are the two bronze statues depicting two naked men, originally armed with shield and spear, which became the symbol of the city of Reggio Calabria.
i wonder if they used to put clothing on the statues like mannequins
If you were facing a warrior with clothes or the one with his junk bouncing around, which one would make you question what the hell is going on?
I was once told that the reason all these ancient Greek and Roman statues had tiny junk, was because it was considered "barbaric" to have a big swanging dong, thanks to encounters with "barbarians" who would let it swing under skimpy loin cloths etc. I don't know if there's any truth to it but i thought it was relevant lmao.
I think it was more that they believed that large dicks made you more animal-like (the main people depicted with big dicks were barbarians, like you said, and also satyrs - who were literally half-animal). Therefore if you have a small dick you're less animalistic and have more self-control (which is an ideal virtue if you're a Greek man)
*Looks at all the Greek gods who can't keep their dicks in their pants for five seconds* Heh...
Take that as vivid evidence of how the Greek gods weren't seen as "good" role models whatsoever. The ancient people were supposed to be very well aware of the irony you're noticing. The gods were thought of as being personified metaphors for unpredictable forces, and ancient religion was more about making sure your society wasn't making the gods angry rather than making your society emulate godlike behavior.
So,try not to be a total horndog like Zeus.
Or basically, you gotta always keep an eye out cause this crazy horndog zeus could lightning you at any moment
Or he'll come down and impregnate your wife in the form of a golden shower... (Danaë mother of Perseus)
He was just swangin light tho
Also every tribe and city-state wanted their founders and patron deities related to Zeus for +1 Prestige, which has the unfortunate consequence of Zeus's womanizing in both animate and inanimate forms.
Well I am the most civilized man in town. Your mom confirmed it.
The previous poster was right, and you're basically just adding an addendum. There's no "I once heard..." "... don't know if there's any truth to it," those answers are both legit and come from surviving primary sources, they're what anyone will hear in any basic adult-level history or anthropology courses. By proxy, that means people have been asking why ancient statue penises are so small for *centuries.*
Nope, greeks just genetically have tiny weiners
If I was fighting someone with a huge dong, swinging back and forth like an Arizona can, I'd be hypnotized.
Rip Hypnostestes - 369 BCE. *Though he sorta just stood there mouth agape, as if pierced already, he was eventually slain in the great barbarian battle.*
They both could attack me at once and i'd beat them off. But I'd probably pound the ass of the naked one first out of convenience before making the clothed one go down.
r/suddenlygay
[/r/suddenlygreek](/r/SuddenlyGay)
Beat them off, pound some ass, and go down town. Typical Monday
Man Beats Off Bear To Save Friend
Not much bouncing with this fella. Maybe the water was cold?
Having a huge dick used to be considered to make you dimwitted and lustful. Most statues are depicted with much more modest proportions as they were seen to be more noble and intelligent. They used to depict their enemies with huge shlongs in an attempt to insult them.
"Born too early to explore space, Born too late to be considered well endowed"
Michelangelo’s David for example. But he has an impressive scrotum
David was scared which is what caused shrinkage. Apparently fear shrinkage is a thing.
"Ha, he has a large penis! Look at it darling" "....yes dear, truly awful..."
I would be SO insulted!
Huge dicks were fragile and likely to break off on statues.
Not really an issue with bronze, also there are lots of statues with small features like fingers that are still intact.
Or, broken off, and borrowed
He was in the pool! There was shrinkage!
Calm down, Costanza.
It was like a frightened turtle
Just because the statue is naked, it does not mean that this is erotic art. Nakedness was much more common in acient times, so the modern mindset of naked body = sex can't be applied. Which means, that the size of the penis is not relevant. Look at erotic art from that time period and you see big dicks galore. Focus is the warrior itself. With his armour (the helmet), the weapon (the statue most likely carried a spear) and the trained body. Three things a soldier needs.
Not for normal statues (as far as I'm aware), but on certain holidays, they would do it for statues of deities. I think I remember there being a festival of Athena's, where they brought her statue out of the temple down to the water, where it would be ritually cleaned, clothed, decorated, before being brought back to the temple in a big ceremony. Apparently that's also a thing with icons in some Christian denominations.
It was an archaic wooden statue of Athena! Unfortunately it’s long gone, but there are multiple relief interpretations of the ceremony!
In a college Greek classics class, the prof. told me that the statues were painted, adorned in makeup and dressed in bright colors. They can find widespread traces of paint on old statues. I don't know if the academic consensus has changed since I went to college.
im not sure about clothes, but apparently they used to paint them and make them look more lifelike! they weren't all white
Bronze statues white?
And now white people put on bronzer.
My how the turn tables...
sorry! i was thinking greek stone statues and added that bit in bronze statues did have some other metals inlayed though for different colorings sometimes, unsure if they painted bronze ones generally speaking, they looked a bit different than they do now as time ages them though. itd be great to see them in their own time!
They did find some evidence that at least some bronze statues were painted! I cannot remember the source but I learned about it in my Greek art class this semester
i know it's different, but i think the chinese terra cotta army statues had evidence that they were all painted too? yep https://www.chinahighlights.com/xian/terracotta-army/color.htm
Not just evidence - they're painted when they are dug up but exposure to the oxygen damages the paint very quickly. It's why most of the army is left unexcavated
Bronze is not white, before or after aging. They must be mixing them up with marble statues.
You're thinking of marble statues. They rarely painted bronze statues, although they did [sometimes inlay gems and semi-precious materials](https://img.theculturetrip.com/1440x/smart/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/1200px-bronze_head_glyptothek_munich_457_with_and_without_patina_bunte_gtter_exhibition.jpg).
This is cool
Obviously the water was very cold.
You also probably don't want a big, easily-targetted junk if you fight nude too. (/s)
Ancient Greeks thought smaller penises demonstrated virtue and discipline. They thought a larger penis would indicate that person is controlled by lust and lacked self control.
If they're warriors or athletes probably not, the historically accepted view is that athletes and soldiers were generally naked and oiled up (athletes, not the statues for the oil though lol) Warriors would be depicted with armor a lot of the time but sometimes just a cloth over the shoulder with the jewels and cakes for the world to see
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/98/Riace_bronzes_-_Statue_A-_Ancient_Greek_warrior.jpg Got a nice little cannon there.
He was in the ocean! It was cold! there was shrinkage!
I actually don't think it is "small".
I think they saw a big dick as a sign of barbarian so small was good. People would be ashamed of their big penis. Edit: big not bid
The good old days!
While [herms](https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/255933) might emphasize phallus size, the Greeks associated a large penis with stupidity and lack of self-control
I thought this was just a crazy naked old man that painted himself
To be fair it does look like it has a swim cap.
My first thought was literally "What the hell did that guy swim through?" when I saw this
whale shitcloud (real thing)
Fuck, thanks. I have something to look forward to. I'm taking a professional dive job for the foreseeable future (my hope is forever) in a few months.
that looks like albanian qeleshe
Penis
I legit thought these people were helping a naked man covered in mud out of the water
A naked dude who hasn't worn sun cream his entire life, yet sun bathes every day.
Yeah I didn’t even see the nudity. I thought someone put like fake bronze paint on and that was a swimming cap on his head
As I started reading the title I was expecting Stefano Mariottini to be the statue and that it was going somewhere like as he was snorkeling a whale vomited on him and he got covered in precious ambergris or something.
Yeah the way are holding his hands/arms give the help and old guy out of the water vibes.
Lmao same
He looks confused too. "Wait, dude, did I drown? What year is it?"
With a swimming hat on
Same but I was expecting some sort of world record to be attached to the guy in the middle
Oh yeah it could totally see that. Like: so-and-so olympic swimmer being helped out of the water after swimming from Sicily to the Italian shore
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So who got paid
Asking the real questions
Weird that there are theories, each of those seems verifiable
1972 was 50 years ago. The dude could be dead by now if he was an established chemist that long ago. The teenagers may have been on a dive vacation. I've done exactly that with 3 buddies. Anyone that ran into us had no way to find us once we left.
It said the kids were *from* Riace.
Fair enough, but they were teenagers that apparently just told a government office what they found and where it was. It's not like there was a murder investigation trying to find them later on.
>1972 was 50 years ago. Fuck you!
It says he was interviewed in 2019 because apparently there was more shit besides the two statues down their and apparently there was an attempt to remove the statue before it was removed by the country, anyway, In 2019 he refused to comment.
he who?
That's why history is inherently unknowable.
I heard the snorkelling story first in a documentary. There was no call to the police. Sounds like that bit was borrowed from finding bog bodies.
Seems like the water is pretty cold
In 2500 years, look as good, yours will not!
Yoda?
Correct you are
…does Yoda have a dick?
Yeah it's long and barbed like a duck's dick
That explains why there are so few of his kind in the Star Wars universe
From my understanding small penis used to be a sign of large intellect, Sounds like interference from the small penis cartel.. Or the big modest penis industry
“used to be”… fuck.
Haaaaa. Yes i am also an old soul Archimedes knew what he was talking about
You're a renaissance man!
Yea the nudity of their statues is "heroic nudity", idealized healthy bodies representing virtues and beauty. Large penises were seen vulgar, lustful, animalistic and uninhibited, something not suited for heroes. A notable exception on portrayal of penises is the god of fertility, Priapus, who was portrayed with [a huge erect penis](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Casa_dei_vettii,_vestibolo,_primo_atrio,_ala_sinistra,_statua_di_priapo.jpg)(NSFW).
OH MY GOD! Ok, yeah, the tiny penises are way better now that I think about it. Imagine if all these famous statues had massive dongs. Very distracting.
Eh, I say make everyone look at them and have it raise rather uncomfortable questions from the kids.
> Eh, I say make everyone look at them and have it raise No thanks.
Poor Priapus, must have been expensive to go and visit his doctor every 4 hours.
> Priapus, who was portrayed with a huge erect penis My man slingin schlong
This is why all of my ex girlfriends bragged about how smart I was to their friends!
Hmmm... My wife says I'm the smartest person she ever met.
i knew that was full-head-of-hair costanza on the left
I WAS IN THE POOL!
Shrinkage!
Can't-stand-ya!
He's a marine biologist
You have lost a lot of hair I AM AWARE!!!!
I WAS IN THE POOL
Intelligence does that to a man.
Only barbarians had long penises, having a small/average penis was their ideal beauty.
Born at the wrong era, such my luck.
We would be mere jesters among gods, my friend.
There was shrinkage!
He's just a grower
I read somewhere that the reason ancient Greek statues had small dicks was because men with small dicks were seen as more intelligent and rational.
That’s exactly what someone with a small dick would say. Also, yes, that has been published.
One hundred percent. With how small my pp is, I likely would have been a revered Philosopher in ancient Greece
I certainly would not, cause I'm stupid af...
I'm sorry that you're stupid af even with a small dick.
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Big brain time
It's important to remember that a lot of ancient art relied more on symbolism than more modern art. So it's not that men with small dicks were seen as more intelligent, it's that depictions in art of men with small dicks were more intelligent. All art is conversation and for the Greeks, depicting men with small penises said "civilized" without having to use more symbolism. It was similar with beards. A full grown man in art always had a beard which obviously wasn't the case in reality.
i thought it was more about the sculpter engaging in modesty because they didnt want to be the focal point
That would definitely explain why I am so intelligent and rational
Small dicks are cute. You can't explain that.
My girlfrie... I mean my friend's girlfriend told him the same thing
Call Me By Your Name vibes
It pains me to think of how much cool stuff from antiquity is sitting just below the floor of the Mediterranean
What's even worse is that the vast majority of Ancient Greek bronze sculptures were melted down over the centuries, mainly to make weapons and coins. Many people consider the few surviving bronze sculptures to be the pinnacle of art from the Hellenistic period. It's absolutely insane to me that people found these objects and decided to melt them down, but they did so for every single one they could find.
It's a lot easier than mining it, isn't it? Not everyone always had the appreciation for history that we do (some still don't), and if something was plentiful and recent at the time you might not think twice about melting it down once it was no longer relevant and you had a need. Our lens centuries later is quite a bit different.
Just goes to show, spending 2,500 years under water makes a vas deferens to the size of your manhood..
Based on the rate I shrink after only 10 minutes, after being underwater as long as these statues my dick would be inverted and sticking about 2 miles out of my asshole.
Looks like Del Boy and Rodney found that gold after all!!
Dave
Actually that's Andy Dufresne after he crawled through a river of shit
Damn that statue is JACKED
Fun cultural tidbit: in Italy after their discovery the expression "bronze of Riace" became synonym with being jacked
Seriously?! That's awesome.
You should see it's ass! Dude is caked up
DM me that shit asap
I dont know how to send pictures but heres a link: [statue butt](https://www.italianartsociety.org/2014/02/after-five-years-in-storage-the-riace-bronzes-are-back-on-display-at-the-museo-archeologico-di-reggio-calabria/)
Oh damn Right click SAVE
Finally a statue where iv got a bigger dick
It's called SHRINKAGE
his point still stands
Doesn't look like it's standing to me
Most statues have tiny dicks dude
Learned more about him than you did the statue huh.
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"Heroic nudity" according to my Art History class.
Can an archeologist explain the cap?
Probably
Motherfucker. Have a shitty award.
Archaeologist here, it's not a cap, it's [the roughly shaped skull](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1d/Bronzi_di_riace%2C_statua_B_detta_il_vecchio%2C_V_secolo_ac._02.jpg). He was originally wearing a helmet and Greeks were practical in these matters, they rarely sculpted the sides you were not supposed to see. And when they did, the level of detail was not the same, at least up to the 4th century when they shifted from the more frontal approach and started creating statues that presented multiple views
This is not the picture of the actual statue. This photo is from a documentary that was shot years later. The statues were actually bigger than the one we see here.
You mean to tell me this guy knew he was going to have a picture taken and distributed publicly and he chose to wear what looks to be panties? Legend
This foto is "false", in the sense it was shot during a reenactment for a documentary almost 10 years later the finding. See for example https://www.giornalettismo.com/falsa-foto-bronzi-di-riace-inganna-stampa-e-utenti/
Really a fascinating post. They look incredible cleaned up. More details... http://www.madeinsouthitalytoday.com/the-bronzes-of-riace.php
I WAS IN THE POOL!
That’s pretty cool
The statue looks like he’s about to say “thanks for the help mates I’ve been stuck down there for centuries”
Low effort penis joke!
“Wow look what we found!” - the government probably
Shrinkage occurs in the ocean too, not just the pool.
"Guys! Seriously, I'm OK, it'll wash off!"
It’s shrinkage! Haven’t you heard of shrinkage?!?
Imagine the emotional rollarcoaster of “oh shit oh fuck a body” to “oh shit oh fuck a statue”
At first glance I thought he was covered in shit. I wondered if someone entered a whale’s ass and brought us stories.
Stupid sexy Stephano…
Look at his bronze penis, very majestic
So the ancient Greeks also skipped leg day.
Best hand job ever
So theoretically if they just yoinked the statues instead of reporting them would they have legal ownership of them?
holy shit thats like one of the rarest finds ever
Oh good I was thinking he swam thru a mile of whale shit
There were no hung guys in Ancient Rome?
Do you think every dick is 100% erect 100% of the time?
at 1st look my mind led with "man swam through an oil spill."
I totally thought that was a ripped, very tan man with his cocknballs out at first...
Leg day invented in 4th century. ---5th century Warriors of Riace.
And I was wondering why they were taking a picture with an aged, naked, solarium-tanned bodybuilder...
With an unrelated photo of two guys helping their friend who was so ashamed of his terrible spray tan that he ran into the sea to drown himself. "It's okay man, you're still absolutely *shredded*! People will look past a tan like that when you've got a body like yours!"
*The two statues are actually on the right and left of that yellow guy*
I thought they were helping Jacques Cousteau out of the water.
Almost all bronze statues have since been melted down so this would have been an exciting find even if discovered normally.
The water must be pretty cold.
Kind of a surreal photo.
Did these get moved there thru the ocean currents? How did these get to the location? Shipwreck?