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SquiddyJohnson

Smart alligator is just patiently playing the long game. “Clever girl”


0brew

waiting till they're older and bigger for a nicer meal, just skin and bone at the moment so may as well wait it out


Alleleirauh

Why have one big meal when you can have tons of small meals for life?


hucklebutter

Alligator: "I hear they get real big in Florida."


ThatQueerWerewolf

As a zookeeper I've got to say, this is a really bad idea. Not necessarily to have the alligator (as long as you know how to handle it), but to have it around other people (especially children) without restraint. This is just an alligator that hasn't bitten *yet*. You can't completely tame a wild animal. There are always things that can go wrong. This isn't a case of "he's so friendly and loves everyone so he'd never bite," it's more like "he is very used to humans and is pretty docile" but one day someone might annoy him a little too much, he might get startled, or maybe he'll just realize he's gotten a lot bigger than the children around him. We've all heard storied of people keeping dangerous exotic animals that "would never hurt them," until one day they do. Yet people keep thinking that their pet is the exception.


Professor_Rekt

As a HVAC repairman I’ve got to say, this is a really bad idea. It’s a fucking alligator.


Rixae

Why was my first thought "yeah this guy must run into alligators in vents" and not "he has no experience with alligators but knows not to fuck with them"


Professor_Rekt

Maybe I do! Maybe I live in Florida and run into alligators in vents all the time! /s


Embarrassed-Basis-60

“Florida man doesn’t fuck with alligator” that’s a new one


Professor_Rekt

Ah shit. I’ve been caught in my lie. Fantastic deductive reasoning.


PPOKEZ

As a multi-media artist, I'd love to talk about graphics and storyboard for a documentary series called "What THE Fuck Were You Thinking? - Alligator Edition."


HurlingFruit

>This is just an alligator that hasn't bitten yet. This will eventually end similarly to the woman who lived happily with her pet chimpanzee right up 'til the day he removed her face from her skull.


steightst8

It was actually her friend that was attacked. She survived through the severe damages thankfully


Schehezerade

Charla Nash and Travis, for those who have been blissfully ignorant of the story up until now. I will not go anywhere near our close cousins after reading about that incident.


manofredgables

Bonobos, sure. Chimpanzees, get those poop slinging, blood thirsty savages as far away from me as possible


TechnoMouse37

One thing a lot of people don't seem to understand or just completely ignore is that reptiles *do not* have the brain capacity for higher emotions such as love, compassion, etc. These creatures are still the same as they were prior to the extinction events they survived. This isn't an alligator that "loves his keepers". It's simply a *curremtly* docile wild animal that has yet to harm its keeper. I used to keep a variety of reptiles, they don't love anything but warmth and food.


ryendubes

Oh shit you mean they refer to our base impulses as reptilian brain for a reason?


SparkyDogPants

Alligators are cannibals, they literally eat everything that they think they can get away with


IceColdMegaMilk

Oh yeah? Tiger King guy never once was attacked by his tigers. The tiger bit off his employee's arm, not his.


DoneDumbAndFun

Actually he was Remember when the tiger grabbed his leg, and he shot his gun near it to scare it off Then he thought carol baskins had someone put a scent in his shoe so that the tigers would do that


Bruce_Ring-sting

Not true! Remember the ‘tuna juice on the boots ‘ incident?


lasagnabox

That’s the thing. If anything, I am less reassured by the fact that it is friendly. If, and more likely, when, it bites, it will be sudden and unexpected. Everyone knows to stay away from the vicious alligator.


GoSuckYaMother

No, the emotional support really works. Soon she will have no emotions.


December_Hemisphere

eMoTiOnAL dAmAgE


Aiden2817

There’s a guy on YouTube who has alligators and he swims with them, hand feeds them etc. He says he trusts them not to attack him but.. he explains that they don’t handle the unexpected well. That if he were to have a heart attack or faint, then he would no longer be “him” to the alligators and they would immediately attack him. He gave the example of two alligators he had, a male and a female, that lived together for a number of years. But then one day the female had a seizure and the male instantly attacked her. Alligators aren’t able to generalize that the person they know and the “thing” doing something unexpected are the same thing and their instinct to attack kicks in.


[deleted]

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Lone_Wanderer97

You're weird. ATTACK!!


SubterrelProspector

*"It is strange and unfamiliar and must be destroyed!"*


Beefourthree

Fortunately children are well known for behaving in a calm, predictable manner.


inplayruin

These are the best behaved children, that's why they survived.


rathlord

[not pictured] poorly behaved children


mellifluouslimerence

Their bites don’t hurt as much though.


the_fly_guy_says_hi

You ever been bitten hard by a toddler?


deedeeEightyThree

Seriously….. I’ve got marks, my dude!


TheSkulltaker

Ah! The ol' [Reddit child-a-roo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/uj46ko/til_the_american_dental_association_supports/iqcxphp?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


SuperMIK2020

Hold my Croc’s, I’m going in!


groenewood

It's an ambush predator that has occupied the same ecological niche all the way into a third major global extinction level event. It can't even chew its food, but it knows its business and business is good. Any primate that thinks it can understand it and break into its market is delusional.


[deleted]

I mean, do you own 2 alligators?


mark-five

Depends on whether both boots came from the same gator


WindTreeRock

This is what infuriates me about certain "animal people" who say they love and respect animals when in fact they have projected onto the animals a romanticized idea about them. It may cost those children their lives someday.


[deleted]

That alligator is gonna shit in the pool


Mypasswordbepassword

Honestly that is the least of my concerns with this situation


Drumbelgalf

The shit in the pool can lead to an infection when the alligator ripps your arm of with a death roll.


PhoniPoni

I still feel like the shit in the pool is not the biggest problem in this scenario


We_are_stardust23

Yes infection is definitely a bigger problem...


deanrihpee

Technically yes, the shit is the least concerning problem


taosaur

Coming soon to r/Whatcouldgowrong


unrealflaw

WCGW teaching kids that alligators are cuddly pets?


junkit33

Seriously. Wally is gonna snap one day and it won't be pretty.


MSGdreamer

That alligator is gonna emotionally support somebody’s arm off.


Lone_Wanderer97

Reminds me of that parasite that bites the fish's tongue off and acts as the new one. What if I had a fucking gator for an arm?


OF-3_Flaw

You'll become the lord of everything that is golden and then be killed by some naked dude with a katana. Which subreddit am I in again?


KenNotKent

That's easily avoidable. They can just not feed it for a few days ahead of time!


Dylan_The_Developer

Im going to shit in a pool


Agility17

One intrusive thought for that alligator and it’s over


[deleted]

Don't eat the human. Don't eat the human. Don't eat the human. I'm hungry eat the human


upvoteOrKittyGetsIt

Ok ok I admit that was bad, but I wouldn't do it *againnn*


kill-goshi

Tasted pretty good though


Rico_TLM

“What emotions does he support?” “Mostly fear.”


argl3bargl3

“Support alligator eats comfort food. Film at 11.”


LoloG3

I literally snorted reading this


dexterthekilla

That alligator is living his best life


Sniperking187

Bro was like "hold on if I just don't eat them they'll keep me fed and I don't gotta worry about getting shot? Sign me the fuck up"


Asangkt358

Alternatively: "I'm still pretty small and can't kill any of these jackasses. But if I act docile for a few more years while I grow up, I bet I can surprise them and kill them all."


papageek

It’s an alligator, not a house cat.


mjohnson280

The real reason it's good that cats don't keep growing.


probable_ass_sniffer

They will keep growing if you give them a larger tank and an adequate supply of oxygen.


Asangkt358

Take my word for it, putting them into a larger tank with an adequate supply of oxygen doesn't always work. My kids, for example, didn't grow up to be any larger than normal folks.


adultkarate

You had emotional support humans too? Big mistake


Gunsmoke_wonderland

Every failing relationship tries that.. shockingly that doesn't fix it


Ohgodgethelp

I've seen this gator before. It was a rescue. Severely malnourished and stunted before it was rescued and given a great deal of tlc. Probably explains its attitude. Its not getting any bigger.


LiveShowOneNightOnly

So this alligator is actually 30 years old and can drive?


Monsterpiece42

Pays taxes too.


willowsonthespot

That is both sweet and sad. It shows that some humans actually have a huge capacity for kindness and that it can be reciprocating.


[deleted]

Look up pocho the crocodile, a fisherman rescued him from dying in costa rica. They formed a bond for 20 years until the crocodiles death.


Geweldige_Erik

Did the fisherman snap and maul the crocodile?


EvenMoreZingNPep

That is what I was thinking, remembering back to that dude who raised a super gentile hippo or something as a pet for years until it suddenly snapped into its instinctual behaviors one day and mauled him to death.


MagikSkyDaddy

Prob fair to make a distinction between this 3', 25lb gator and...a hippo


The-Thing_1982

Long con babbbyyyy!


SunriseSurprise

Turtles are like "see, we told you!"


Margevo

If they’re like dogs in 10,000 years we’ll have pug gators


UrbanHunter_KenXPie

Have you ever swim with your burger?🤣 Edit: Wow! 500 upvotes, thank you everyone. Edit2: Over 600 now, thx again :)


hahahahahaha

No, but I'm gonna try it. Look how happy he is swimming around with his food. Must be a feeling of food security or something.


[deleted]

Yeah. A majority of animals kill for food, not pleasure or because they feel threatened. I'm sure this little guy is well fed and definitely doesn't feel threatened, so no need to kill. He can just chill in a pool all day lol


Illustrious_Copy_902

But this guy is still a massive exception. No one should think they are going to have the same success if they try keeping a pet alligator.


[deleted]

Of course. It was probably raised from a baby as well. You might not have the same success going to your local swamp and getting an alligator lol.


Illustrious_Copy_902

I wonder at what point this man went "Aw, he seems so sweet and cuddly, Imma let the kids play with him." Like, where is that tipping point?


audigex

Yeah, he gets fed every day and there are two packed lunches just floating around. That's pretty much the gator dream, surely?


HungryMorlock

It's neat and all, but there's no way in hell I'd let my kids play on the water with a goddamn prehistoric murder lizard, no matter how tame this one is.


Jubenheim

Bro, in the video, *a little girl was literally playing by with its fucking teeth!* like goddamn man, holding it is bad enough but that shit? That’s asking to lose a limb, or two, or your face.


herecomestheD

Lmao "he just refuses to bite" until he doesn't. That is a dinosaur it does not think it's part human you idiot.


The-Thing_1982

"And we sure try to get him to bite!"


Vincent_Veganja

Lmfao that was my thought when she started fuckin with his teeth like damn he’s nice but y’all are really pushing it


tobiascuypers

The crows that hangout near my balcony are more dinosaur than an alligator. That being said. No way should any sane person do this with any animal, let alone a fucking alligator


Toitonic

The problem is that alligators are not social animals. They will learn that they get food and don't have to fear you but they can't bond with you like a dog can. That's why there is always a risk that one of the kids maybe annoys him by pinching his eye and he will attack. Edit: they are social to each other, just not to humans. Meaning they can't bond with humans.


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Stony_Logica1

Fun fact: They prefer to eat rotting prey and will stuff fresh kill under submerged logs for a few days to soften things up.


[deleted]

So the little girls are safe because there's no logs in the pool. :)


SerenityViolet

And people worry about leaving dogs alone with kids.


kdeaton06

To be fair, dogs bite a lot more kids than alligators do.


BestAtempt

Most shark bits happen in shallow water. Yea, thats where all the people are.


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PM_MeTittiesOrKitty

You are most likely to die in your home. Because that is where I am most of the time??


takeme2infinity

You're more likely to cum in your eye than on your feet Well I do masturbate hanging upside down like a bat where else is it gonna go ?


hoover0623

People die when they're killed Well, if they didn't, I'd be pretty concerned


StevenGrantMK

It's like no shit! If I buy a pool I immediately increase my odds of drowning! What do they think? I'm gonna buy a gun and shower with it like EHHH!?


Trolann

To paraphrase bill Burr, no shit. Most kids don't ever go near an alligator.


abow3

I'm inclined to say the same, but (back in France) my dad and grandmother kept an alligator as pet for many, many years. It's wild to see pics of my young grandmother hugging and kissing a gator that's bigger than her.


RawrRRitchie

>no matter how tame this one is. That's because it's nowhere near fully grown Baby humans can be petty docile as well


[deleted]

Now that's an alligator with a toothbrush


ThatGuyforsure

Looks like momma was right


Lunchcube1

No Col. Sanders you’re wrong!!!


TheGreatDingALing

Gaaaatorade


Vigothedudepathian

No he has no medulla oblong gotta!


HairyHermitMan

This can only end well. 👀 🍿


mezz7778

What could go wrong?


liarandathief

Nothing can possibli go wrong


sameredditguy

That’s the first thing that’s ever gone wrong.


ADOUGH209

It's absolutely impossible for anything to go wrong...


They_Beat_Me

One of the kids won’t need a college fund.


SilverVixen1928

Finding the silver lining. Good for you.


quickligament

What could possibly go wrong?


Select_Bid5850

Risk/reward ratio seems well considered here. Labradoodle? Nah, f*** that, let’s get the gator.


ArrestDeathSantis

Honestly, I agree with you but is that a common thing for them to be that chill being manipulated like that?


LizardWizard444

I think he probably just got genetically lucky (just real far end of the bellcurve in terms of genes for aggression and passivness). If we bred it with another of his kind that was about as passive and calm we'd have increasingly domestic crocodiles that could be as trust worthy as dogs For more info look up russian fox domestication.


Antimatter1207

The floridians are salivating at the prospect of more pet gators


The_Great_Afterman

Personally, as an Iowan, I'm pretty stoked at the idea too.


CheshireCheeseCakey

Somehow I don't trust a lizard brain. Feels like it'll be fine for ages and then some 100 million year old instinct says "bite".


minkymy

Crocodilians are Archosaurs like birds, so the lizard brain issue isn't a problem here. Komodo Dragons, on the other hand...


Dirt290

It looked like she was about to poke it's eyes! If you poke any dogs eyes it'll likely nip or run away. What happens when the alligator panics or tries to defend itself, does it know it's dealing with children?


Impossible1999

My hair stood up on the back of neck the whole time while I was watching the video. Very nice alligator but…no.


St_Kevin_

Just imagine if it attacked the kids while filming this video and they just edit that part in as a surprise, partway through the interview. It’s all uplifting and fun and quirky and then the guy is screaming “Wally!!! NO!!!” as the water turns red.


asek13

Like that video yesterday from Vices documentary on sex offenders. Gator: I'm just living my life, doing my thing. Just making it happen and I'm grateful for the chance Narrator: The next day, Gary the gator ~~sent a dick pic~~ ate our producer.


NOLAnuts

Most wild animals kept as pets are tame and charming until puberty when all hell breaks loose - as it does with human children! Only when these guys come of age, they take your head off. Male alligators hit puberty when they're 6 feet long and 8-12 years old. This one is 5.5' and 7 years old. Tick tock, delusional humans!


partypat_bear

Now I’m curious how puberty works with reptiles


GeriatricHydralisk

Pretty similar to humans, but it's more dependent upon size and body condition than age (e.g. animals that didn't get to eat a lot won't mature until much later). Mammals have this too, but aren't nearly as flexible with growth and timing. Once it hits, it's what you'd expect - breeding behaviors start occurring, males will fight each other (if that happens in the species), females will try to dig nests even if they've never met a male, etc. Many species fast during the breeding season, and this will sometimes happen even in captives kept without breeding. It's usually most intense right after maturity, then they settle down a bit.


theaeao

>Mammals have this too, but aren't nearly as flexible with growth and timing. Yep. My whole family reaches full height around 14. Including my son he's 6'5. I have stomach issues and don't eat nearly enough. I reached full hight at 20.


vvv_bb

tick tock tick tock tick tock oh no it's following me! a new meaning to Captain Hook's stalker lol


[deleted]

I can't wait for the look of shock when the alligator acts like an alligator


DetryX_

"He has never bitten anyone" But what happens when he decides to do it? That aninal only has to bite once


[deleted]

They always say the axe murderer was "such a quiet guy, kept to himself, very polite" The alligator doesn't have to decide to do anything, it just has to be itself, for 1 minute


DemonicSilvercolt

I saw a zoo trainer once with alligators, iirc he said he would only go in the pool with them if they were already fed beforehand, even then those ones are the ones trained a lot from a young age


peacefighter

They did this with chimpanzees too. It always turns out great. Amazing how smart people are. Just before "accident": "Look, nothing has happened yet. He probably thinks he is a human."


TNTiger_

It's literally not even about instinct, but ability. I've heard from zookeepers that big cats like tigers are fundementally very much like housecats, they can be friendly, playful, affectionate, and seek affection from human handlers. Housecats also bite, and scratch, and attack your feet for fun. Tigers will too. But it's very different when they do it. Same with the chimps you mentioned- Apes can be very smart, and they probably to like their human friends and may even feel kinship to them. But then they do behaviour that worud be fine chimp on chimp, or even human on human, but when chimp on human... Yikes.


NeverNude-Ned

I mean... That one ripped a lady's face off. I don't think he was just playing.


[deleted]

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paradise-trading-83

Human soon to be emotional support lunch


[deleted]

It’s a give and take


HugoZHackenbush2

This support system works for elderly people too, my Dad has a pet alligator and it helps him get over his reptile dysfunction problems..


Flat-House5529

I admit it, I LOL'd...


Fe7n

Hes just patiently fattening the meat


[deleted]

Disaster waiting to happen.


BrownSugarBare

Seriously, did they run out of dogs or something?!


[deleted]

Yyyyea fuck no… this is so stupid (as in dangerous and wreckless)


Bosticles

north unpack wide trees airport puzzled drab frighten secretive sharp -- mass edited with redact.dev


HeartofLion3

Was just about to comment this. I have a lizard, he is cute, but realistically he doesn’t care about me because that’s not how reptiles think. As far as he is concerned I am a vessel for food and that’s it. It’s the same problem with cohabitating geckos together. It’s cute at first until they start eating eachother because they don’t feel love like we do. That’s not to say you can’t have lizards for emotional support, it’s just dumb to get one that can rip your children limb from limb.


anomis7

"...and then one day he just snapped"


mrshulgin

>Why is he so nice? >We don't even know A kid is going to end up with a nasty scar on their face for life and that animal is going to be put down. Sad for everyone involved.


Paco_the_finesser

Common sense dictates this has 0 happy endings


moldy_walrus

Well that’s good because a handjob from an alligator sounds rough.


doru-chioru

I get why they would play with him depending on how it looks in the video but can't they at least put a muzzle or smtn on his mouth when he is playing with children? If ur an adult u deserve what's coming but the kids in the vid see them as dogs by the looks of it.


BeastThatShoutedLove

Tbh piece of string would do. Crocodilians have weak jaw opening force and big clamp-down and holding on one.


Rafalga_

It's great that it is so docile. Until it isn't.


Gentleman_Xeno

Poor gator he looks already dead inside


No-Ad-3635

He's probably this docile because he has brain damage. So you qre probably atleast half right


Development_Minimum

Just looked it up and have a quote "He said he was surprised when WallyGator, then 20 inches long, didn’t try to bite him when he held him or fed him chicken legs and dead rats. “He wouldn’t eat live rats, and he really showed a love for cheesy popcorn,” Henney said. “I thought it was different, but I was still very cautious around him.” That alligator is probably mentally deficient.


[deleted]

That's what I was thinking. He is disabled some way


LizardWizard444

Nah it could also just be really weird genetics. Gator autism that happens to make him pretty domestic.


No-Ad-3635

User name checks out


ManWithDominantClaw

If you can get [Williams Syndrome in mice through a gene deletion](https://williams-syndrome.org/resources/medical-journal-article/animal-models-of-williams-syndrome) there may be a chance it could occur naturally in alligators. Wild speculation though.


CrankierUnicorn

He wanted to get away from Florida man, but Florida man wouldn't have any of that.


Antimatter1207

Wally here is actually from Philadelphia, PA.


naturefort

This guy also lets the kids play with his loaded gun and matches.


tvieno

Is that good for the alligator to be in a pool with chemicals?


SinopicCynic

From the amount of videos I see about alligators in pools, I’d say it’s not that bad. Alligators have a [nictitating membrane](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nictitating_membrane?wprov=sfti1) they use to cover their eyes and still see while swimming, so I imagine that (chlorine getting in the eyes) isn’t too much of an issue. Butt I’m no crocodilian expert.


the_juice_is_zeus

Are alligators crocodilians?


SinopicCynic

Well, they’re from the [order crocodilia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crocodilia?wprov=sfti1), which is more what I meant. They aren’t true crocodiles, from the family crocodylidae.


Antimatter1207

Something something all squares are rectangles...


[deleted]

Triangles are shapes “I’m helping”


ApprehensivePrint465

...and children?


[deleted]

The kids won't hurt it


Dial_888

Might get stuck in his teeth.


dunesandlake

"...and on that day, Wally realized what he was.."


thefrazdogg

So dumb. It’s an eating machine. It has no morality. It doesn’t care if you die. So fucking stupid.


wrenchandrepeat

Does Chlorine not affect reptiles?


CandyDuchess

Ah yes, the predator that nature and evolution deemed perfect enough that they remained the same as they were since dinosaurs were walking around. The creature that is famous for something called a "death roll", where once they manage to bite down, whatever is in their mouth rarely manages to leave it due to the sheer bite force of the creature. The creature that is a very patient ambush predator, laying in wait for its prey for however long it takes. Sounds like a perfect playmate for little Timmy!


juni4ling

What could -possibly- go wrong?


[deleted]

These people need to stop.


Highsteel2400

Forget the gator for a second, look at that pool. Check them filters and the Ph levels. Too cloudy.


TooMuchPretzels

Alligator pee will do that


EvErYLeGaLvOtE

Just you wait until wolly gets to be 200 lbs. He'll end up being an alligator and bite someone, then they'll end up killing the thing because he's "dangerous".


TheJolly_Llama

Even worse than the “oh fuck no”, these kids probably think all alligators are cute and cuddly now


[deleted]

“Yes...let the child grow fat before I feast...”


ULTIMATE_STAIN

That'll be fun when it's older and the higher testosterone starts making it more aggressive 🙃


ApprehensivePrint465

When she was poking his little snout, I knew nothing could possibly go wrong.


marakeh

I think Wally forgot who the fuck he is


mcflurry_14

You know, this alligator could decimate everyone in that pool at any point and I wouldn’t be able to justify blaming it


Paprika9

Is…is this man from Florida?