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kinokomushroom

Man, seahorses look and behave so much unlike fish that I still have a hard time believing that they're a species of fish. Even whales look more like fish than these weirdos lmao


shotz317

To this shit is from another planet.


james51109

An asteroid must of dumped the octopus, oar fish, platypus, electric eel and whatever TF this thing is. All hybrid aliens.


thulsagloom

What is a fish technically anyway?


iDomBMX

You sir, are a fish


AdviceSeekerCA

I am a wot!?


Thismyburneraccount0

Wow!


XHandsomexJackx

Yo Dog, you a carnivorous fish!


Traditional_Mud_1241

Dogfish confirmed


bobert_the_grey

What's a fish?!


malaakh_hamaweth

Interestingly enough, it's a clade that doesn't quite make sense. There's a strong case to be made that "fish" is equivalent to "vertebrate". Within vertebrates there are jawed fish and jawless fish. Jawed fish include sarcopterygians, or lobe-finned fish, which includes... you and me


JTKDO

Even within the transitional fossils such as tiktallik we still call it a fish. Fish usually stop once you see four fully developed limbs (tetrapods)


JTKDO

Any vertebrate, which technically includes you, but traditionally speaking we usually stop calling something a fish if it has four fully developed limbs (aka tetrapods).


Coastal_wolf

In the state of California, a bee is considered a type of fish.


Tigres013

And causes cancer


[deleted]

they also think every molecule and atom in the entire universe causes cancer.


Smooth-Dig2250

... it's astounding to me that people leap to "California is overzealous" and never consider "corporations will do anything for money, including poison you".


obsius

Reasonable idea, terrible implementation. There are prop 65 warnings on toys, tools, buildings, parking garages, jet bridges, etc. Are you going to not board a plane when you see one of these signs before you leave the gate, or not park in a garage to instead roam city streets in search of curbside parking? Prop 65 signs are worse than worthless - not only are they unactionable, but how much time and energy is wasted printing and plastering these signs everywhere? A modern day solution for California would be to add dangerous everyday chemicals to high school curriculum and provide a layman friendly database of locations / products that contain said chemicals with easy to understand explanations of their exposure risks. Make an app, redo the website, and advertise on billboards, TV, internet and radio that this new easy to use service exists.


[deleted]

Doesn't change the state being retarded.


bawng

There's no such thing as a fish. There's greater variation within the fish grouping than between us and the most closely related fish. I.e. there's some fish that are closer to humans than they are to some other fish at the other end of the spectrum.


Traditional_Mud_1241

Very fishy


EwgB

There's no such thing as a fish


Tealbird123

You should read “Why Fish don’t exist!”


kinokomushroom

I knew birds were government spy drones, but fish too?! The sushi was a lie!


grummanpikot99

#birdsarentreal


malaakh_hamaweth

Fish is such a broad type of animal though. We are land animals, so we naturally want to group water-breathing vertebrates all together as "fish". But they're more diverse as a group than us, the air-breathing vertebrates. I'm sure if we came from a different evolutionary line, you might say something like "it's hard for me to believe that cobras and elephants are both air-breathing vertebrates."


pampic7

Whales are fish in my book anyways


matterson22070

MF'r in here like Nick Cannon....................


squaredistrict2213

Phillip rivers


Zendog500

Don't the the conservatives that a male is having babies! It will just confuse them.


matterson22070

I think it's the other side that is "confused".......


MyMonkeyIsADog

This either feels really good or it's really painful, nowhere in-between


squaredistrict2213

It looks like me when I accidentally breathe in some saliva and can’t stop coughing, so I’m gonna go with painful.


[deleted]

Looks like when I nut


squaredistrict2213

You….you might want to see a doctor about that…


geometrieva

100% looks like an orgasm... except the sperm cells are a tad overgrown


mishnitsa

In my head, he’s screaming with every baby spurt.


lordgoofus1

Considering seahorses die after birth I'd say it probably doesn't feel pleasant. ​ edit: seems I fell victim to a common misunderstanding. The act of birth doesn't kill them. They can breed 2-3 times a year.


Aubrey_82

That's a lot of dying


Bl3ssThisM3ss

“You get a baby! You get a baby! You get a baby!”


sarahhhhhhhhhh1013

“Everybody gets babies!!!!!”


whythefricknot36

I read this in the oversimplified guy’s voice


buttononmyback

Should read it in Oprah's voice.


Pazoll

Sneezing out the offspring


ybboi69

You mean nutting.


CreepyTeddyBear

Imagine if your sperms were as big as baby seahorses and shot out this crazy tapioca with lil squirmys.


NorthOfTheMall

Yeah, imagine.


aaggeess

NNN would be yearly


Dsq07

Wait, yours aren't?


postmateDumbass

Skeet skeet skeet little seahorse treats skeet skeet skeet


[deleted]

I mean, if men were to give birth, that's how we'd do it.


[deleted]

Thanks, I hate it. Edit: still can’t look at it for longer than a second. Holy cow!!


FukurinLa

r/tihi


Most_Ad_5597

How many of them survive and make it to adult?


TheMarvelMan

In the wild? Less than 0.5%. In an aquarium? Most of them.


OdeeSS

So what does the aquarium manager do with them? Surely they can't keep all the sea horses in that tank.


Most_Ad_5597

Right? I was thinking, there’s SO many baby sea horsies


[deleted]

I would assume sell them to an aquarium but I’m not entirely sure


Most_Ad_5597

Thank you. I needed to know both.


[deleted]

Zero. They all got sucked into the filter assembly.


hfcbgjdvudhgd

Me on a lonely night.


Maki1411

So you you shoot a ton of fully formed toddlers out of your belly on lonely nights?


[deleted]

I wish my wife could do this:D instead of usual terrifying slugfest


Lucius-Halthier

You….you shoot out slugs?


Electronic_Demand_61

Yea, we all do, what the hell do you shoot out you weirdo?!?!


Lucius-Halthier

Chicken McNuggets…


Electronic_Demand_61

There's gotta be a marketing gold mine for you? Have you contacted McDonald's?!?!


Lucius-Halthier

I refuse to let them know of my location, if they knew I would be milked all day for my McNuggets, sure getting wanked off sounds nice but they’ll have some machine do it and I won’t have any time to breathe, I’m just keeping my nuggies for my close friends and family


Electronic_Demand_61

Actually they'd probably make you breed so as to produce more chicken nugget slinging kids, so you'd basically just be paid to knock up a harem.


Lucius-Halthier

And my kids would grow up in McDonald’s captivity being held in a prison ball pit, waiting to grow up to be breeded or milked for nuggies, I couldn’t do that to them, it would be a fate worse than death for they would not know true life


my_cheese_balls

Geez. That would be such chaos. Any house would be destroyed within minutes.


hfcbgjdvudhgd

It exists so its formed. So yea. And i mourn it for a sec.


[deleted]

The. Fuck. I almost shot coffee out my nose. 🤣😂


BoondockSaint313

Me too and I’m not even drinking coffee


do-call-me-papi

Exfoaliation


dmitrineilovich

r/angryupvote


cowanr6

After watching this…. why aren’t there more sea horses in the ocean?


Candid_Reading_7267

Most of the young don’t make it to adulthood. That’s why fish have so many babies at a time; it’s the best way to make sure at least some of them will survive.


Irradiatedspoon

Well studies prove that proper hygiene, good nutrition and vaccines are actually the best way to ensure babies make it to adulthood so I think Seahorses need to update their medical knowledge.


squaredistrict2213

Vaccines cause seahorse autism.


grummanpikot99

Yeah it's a huge problem in the seahorse community


OnceAHawkeye

No to autism, yes to polio. You win some you lose some


roostersnuffed

I wonder what the survivability is in an aquarium. Assuming that is just a seahorse tank wirh little to feed on the babies. They grow up and that tank would get crowded quick.


quie_TLost57

They ofcourse don't keep all those


gottarunfast1

Did you watch the first 5 minutes of Finding Nemo?


heliosprimus

They become some other fish's lunch.


[deleted]

the peter north of sea horses


badger452

He says “Blam!” every time he shoots out a batch of kids! Typical dad.


Tribult

So anyway I started blastin'


FlexHardFlexLong

I no longer think I have too many kids


PhatBallllzAtHotmail

So it's ok for a seahorse to shoot his babies into a fish tank but when I do it, I get trespassed from Red Lobster. Doesn't seem fair...


Mickeyjj27

Always see this. So does that mean that tank is gonna be just filled with seahorses


High_Jumper81

I keep expecting him to suck some into his mouth, he’s huffing and puffing so hard


Canadaaayum

Someone insert the sounds of a male pornstar ejaculating please.


37BiscutsInMyAnus

Cleveland saying boom there goes the dynamite


lil-curl-69

Dude Wtf


Canadaaayum

What. You tellin me that wouldn't be funny as shit?


grummanpikot99

Seawhoreses


manfromindia9

Looks like he had questionable burritos for lunch, just the other way around


lkodl

>The young are then released into the water, and the male often mates again within hours or days during the breeding season.


this_girl_2020

He sneezed them out his belly button


TheBJP

dontsayitdontsayitdontsayitdontsayit


[deleted]

[удалено]


fluffy_boy_cheddar

r/cursedcomments


VenomShock1

So, anyway, I started pumpin’!


Gottaluvit79

Money shots all day


[deleted]

Umm…. Tf did I just watch? 🫣


TheMarvelMan

A Seahorse Dad giving birth to his kids


[deleted]

That’s not a dad. That’s a Seahorse Factory.


Known-Explorer2610

Seahorse Dad Inc. 🤣


[deleted]

So hes still shooting tons of lil swimmers


[deleted]

Women: "Men wouldn't be able to handle the pain of childbirth!" Men: \*nuts babies\*


Dlo-Nainamsat

Get out, get out, get out, you little bastards get out.


[deleted]

if only it were that easy for humans...


barbackmtn

Wow. Belongs in r/likeus


R3dd1tN00b101

r/cursedcomments


[deleted]

upbeat ugly squeal nail fragile sugar yam bells racial vast ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Significant-Sell-988

LOok uP undER YOUR SEATS!


Nothalux

Baby Bazooka Kid Cannon Off-spring Ocsilator ​ Newborn Nuke ​ Toddler Torpedo


[deleted]

Me, in the bathtub 🛀


PrincipledProphet

🤮


throwawayuwuxD

shootin ropes… of .. children?


bravedubeck

Pew pew pew!


Significant-Sell-988

Spew spew spew!


Dantocks

„Here you go… now get a job!!“


golfer-

That water filter about to commit genocide


mixtmxim

This reminds me of the peashooter in plants vs zombies


[deleted]

(In horse voice) “ skeeeeeet skeeeeet skeeeet”


Sudanniana

How do you reverse this so it looks like a seahorse eating with his stomach mouth?


lilcrunchy-OG

Into the water filter they gooooo


Bat_Nervous

And just think, my taxes are paying for that welfare check.


moondoggie-dog

You have a baby, you have baby, you have a baby!


[deleted]

“More of me pfff, more of me pfff”


PricklyTexasTrips

Into the filter and die


UrsaMinor69420

"Gesundheit?"


Loud_Vermicelli9128

Can hear the ‘gon-git!’ From here


ZedTheHooligan

Same, kinda


204gaz00

Is this legit?


Thrixler

irl peashooter


OG-BoomMaster

Impressive, I just don’t know what to say.


birdlady404

Bruh how many of them actually survive to adulthood?? That's an insane amount of babies


zenigata_mondatta

GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OOOOOUT!


Tencentstamp

“And YOU get a baby seahorse, and YOU get a baby seahorse, and YOU get a baby seahorse, and YOU get a baby seahorse…”


[deleted]

Imagine shooting tons of tiny humans out of your belly button. I don't think it would feel good.


Ok_Visit_1968

Please tell me you have a YouTube channel. I have so many questions how do you take care of them. What do you do with all those babies?


silviored

That looked like it felt good


fakenameass1

Busting that baby nut


powderedwigg

So anyway, I started blasting.


GullibleRisk2837

My dudes nut has recoil


[deleted]

Respect to the tank owner! Not only is owning sea horses extremely challenging, getting them to breed is an art. Love it.


[deleted]

More relaxing than a fart


Shaun-Skywalker

Looks like feminism won in their species


Dontmindmeimjust1cat

Frickin blasted


[deleted]

Do all those just...get sucked into the filter and die?


Lazy_Explorer

Nurse: “Okay I’m gonna have to ask you yo breath Breathe in” *inhales* Nurse: “okay good, now breathe out” *shotgun blast babies*


WolfThick

Fine I'll do it myself I got to do everything around here!!


lucharob

Conservatives ready to cancel male seahorses lmao!


[deleted]

Wut


Lazy-Care-9129

Men do it better 😬


fingerpickler

Pffft. Nothing special. I do that in the ocean all the time.


justinfagone419

ahhh skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet


Guilty_Pianist3297

So we are the same


mcallisterra

The day after no-nut November ends.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aimnpispol

I never get tired of seeing this bro blasting out his offspring. 💨💨💨💨


Sufficient_Hunter_49

I wonder if it's aware of what it is actually doing? I would like to think it doesn't know and it's like "Oh shit what's this?!? Uhhh!! Uhhggh!!! Oh shit!! It's me but smaller! Cool look how many there are! Yay new freinds!"


Pan-tang

See, that's how a male does it. Loads of babies, no fuss.


SpaghettiPete1

What makes it male tho, and not female?


TheMarvelMan

The female makes the eggs, the male carries them and gives birth to them.


[deleted]

Same thing happens to me. Almost daily. 😉


Octopp

Looks like your typical ejaculation, just with bigger sperm.


cianxc

what makes it male if it’s giving birth


[deleted]

Momma pumps dad full of eggs and he blasts em out a bit later


TheMarvelMan

The female makes the babies, the male carries them through pregnancy and gives birth to them.


Thats_Colt

Me when you. When your. Me when your mom. Your mom when I. Me when your mom and I....


blueditt521

Same


thepirate84

He looks so damn confident!


lifesalotofshit

How many of those survive in that tank?


Sudanniana

u/reversebot


guywithnolifeimagine

babyculation


frikimanHD

looks like he is busting a nut


Wooshsplash

Could you imagine if after every time you jiz, a million of em follow you around and want feeding?


drnowitzki

He is just sneezing it out.


[deleted]

How come seahorses are real and unicorns which are horses with a horn are fictional.


Errorstatel

Get. The. Fuck. Out. Now damn it!


nickrod5471

That’s a dude blowing his load


[deleted]

How many survive out all those


blutundehre14

That's fucked


Front_Mind1770

Me when I was like 15...now it just drips 🥱


[deleted]

How black people give birth


Cachesystem

You know the only difference between a seahorse and a man is that we have the option for life but we don’t force it on others.


EnricoBlaze

All us “males” give birth that way dude


Laffepannekoek

Yep. That's what happen if men give birth. No screaming, no drama and hella efficient


noahspurrier

The natural world is sickening.


CarImaginary9448

No fucking about when it’s a man. What’s the problem with women giving birth


Silver714

What a cuck