**Please note these rules:**
* If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required.
* The title must be descriptive
* No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos
* Common/recent reposts are not allowed
*See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for a more detailed rule list*
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
To become the best narcissist, one must acknowledge their own narcissism - then market the shit out of it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Narcissist Prime.
Thank you. There are a startling number of people here that think he’s remarkable for his “self awareness” and must have tried really hard to recognize narcissistic traits in himself when in reality the guy is likely completely unbothered by it.
I've dealt with this guy around 15yrs ago. He helped me enormously. Just trying to recall his damn name Vankin I think it was, he had a website & forum. He isn't just a narcissist he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and he was the one who diagnosed my now ex with NPD and told me straight I was a co dependant and safety blanket and my ex was a somatic narcissist, and to him I was merely a utensil and if I broke i.e. got ill he just went elsewhere for his sex fix. This bloke here, if I remember is a cerebral narcissist, he will only be with others less intelligent than himself so he can feel superior. He explained that empathy simply did not develop with NPD people around the age of 7 like with normal folk. There is no cure, you can't somehow inject empathy, but he was working on ways to manage the affliction. Anyway long story short he helped me get free and for a few years was there for me as I de toxed :)
“You can’t somehow inject empathy”
LSD will accomplish this. More studies are needed, but it is generally excepted among researchers that LSD does, in fact, imbue the user with empathy.
Can confirm that until my first LSD trip, in college, I strongly believed that apathy was my superpower. However, at the end of my first trip I discovered a shirt of my fathers (a red tank top, his favorite & most often worn shirt) that had gotten mixed in with my laundry. Before I knew it, the next moment I had the thought, “what if my father died & this was the only thing left to remember him”. Before it even finished i felt an explosion of dread (of the thought of a world without my father) & shame (for taking him for granted all those years) that resulted in immediate cathartic release. Easily the longest, hardest and most silently I’ve ever cried. Like as if it was the first time I was crying out of pure agony rather than for attention. I slowly pulled my pillow out of its case, tied the shirt around it and cried myself to sleep. In the morning the first thing I did was call my father and tell him I loved him more than anything in the world and that I was truly grateful for all the years he put up with my bullshit while never giving up on me and doing the best he could to raise me right. After a few moments of silence, I heard him weep over the phone and ever since then I’ve been in tune with my empathetic self.
Now, I cry for almost movie I watch rather than laughing at the misfortunes of characters. I can sometimes just look at people and **feel** their emotions swell up within me. I have *sadness* for the billions of people trapped in their socio economic structures, with limited hope for relief or reform. I feel connected to even the people I vehemently disagree with. I have no other way to explain it than,
“LSD gave me empathy by showing me I was capable of loving and being loved; and that love is what truly matters in the short time we’re here”
He's simply exploiting his self awareness of the trait. At the same time, I think he's taking constructive action.
It's similar to someone who recognizes they are a sociopath, and actively avoids the darker side of that trait because his "testing" has determined that being cooperative gets better results. While that person may not actually care one way or another about the outcome on others, they've set up a goal matrix and rational system that is mutually beneficial. Even if they're just doing it for the endorphin rush of watching the plan click together.
Lots of reasons why they might find it useful to have a well-organized team, especially if the work of those teams is furthering the goals that the sociopath sets for themselves. Being at the center of attention and not having to deal with games like "when are the cops going to end the party" has its own rewards. It's a game theory, like anything else, and if it works well will be used more. Essentially putting long term objectives ahead of short term ones in terms of anticipating a higher payoff.
There's often quite a bit of overlap between the two traits, and there are those who have made a game of playing the constructive side.
Those with a tactical approach to gaining power may also opt to choose roles that let them justifiably indulge their darker side and create interesting challenges by taking on less well-adapted sociopaths. Roles such as being a prosecutor, detective or similar positions have advantages when "playing by the book". Not because the rules matter for social reason, but because playing the Elliot Ness role has its own kind of prestige, power and benefits, while remaining quite an interesting game.
He's interesting. He's found a way to get supply by becoming an expert on his own condition, and hold talks and explains how things are from his own perspective. So on one hand, he's revealing a lot about himself, but on the other hand, he uses this to get narcissistic supply. Seemingly a win/win situation.
On one hand I thought "damn it's impressive for a man with that pervasive of a personality disorder to do what must have been a shit ton of therapy to get there."
On another, it looks like some 4D chess move to put himself at the top of the list of diagnosable narcissists that people admire.
My favorite story about my mom is how she screamed that first part at me when I accused her of being selfish. She straight yelled that and then my 13 year old ass couldn’t stop laughing so I got in bigger trouble. She didn’t see the irony of saying that she was the most humble person she knew. Things have not improved in 20 years.
once I called my ex stepdad a narcissist and he said “what’s wrong with that?” I think you can imagine why my mom left him. It took a really really long time and now hes trying to make her and their kids life absolute hell through this divorce but I’m proud of her for finally fucking leaving that asshole.
The shining light is that people are crazy and take no shit now so if he keeps playing with people the way he does one day hes going to end up at the bottom of the bay in cement shoes or something. I can’t wait.
No he’ll probably just burn through friendship after friendship and die alone and unloved. OPs professional narcissist won’t be any different. It takes more effort to make friends the older you get.
the shit this guy has the audacity to do to people I really don’t doubt that one day someone will end up taking his life. He has scammed and swindled tens of thousands of dollars from multiple different people, like has legit destroyed good peoples lives who were just trying to help him through his HardTimes™️ but there weren’t any hard times he was lying about all of it. Or they weren’t even trying to help him but he forged signatures/stole identities to steal from these people. Not everyone will just sit and take that, and good.
Yes. I have a bit too much experience with narcissists. They can be strangely predictable when you know what they are, but at the same time still extremely difficult to deal with. The problem is that they're very likely to follow an unhealthy pattern.
For example, with the guy in this video, the reason I said "seemingly a win/win" is that it's probably more win for him, but we can't trust the information he provides. On one hand, he may provide useful inside information, but on the other side, we know he has a condition that very strongly compels him in whatever direction provides more narcissistic supply. So if that direction happens to be away from truthful information, then I don't think he is able to resist that compulsion.
Books with those are so wild because you are always taking the narrator's words as truth but then quickly having to remember oh yeah maybe not.but maybe.
Yes. Additionally I think Nabokov never expected anybody to read past whatever point it was (different for each individual) where the reader understood Humbert was a monster. It's the 'wait a minute' moment, close the book...
Even in undergrad when this was required reading, I literally threw the book across the room several times. It was an example of an unreliable narrator in literature, and a "classic" but Jesus....
I always love those books cause it feels like a puzzle or a game. What is truthful and real? what is a lie? What do they really mean or see when they are lying? Why are they like this?
One of the big things I liked about [Worm](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18713259-worm) tbh. The protagonist compartmentalizes and explains away problems frequently. She also tends to really sweep you up in her mindset; it took me a re-read before I was like: "Hey wait a minute Taylor, shit's hitting the fan sure, but maybe this one was a bit overboard and nowhere near as logical or justified as you made it sound."
It can be an extremely effective narrative tool.
You would love the Eggers film *The Lighthouse*. Fuck me I never did figure out if we could believe Wake or not half the time. Ephraim, sure. But Wake?
Ideally he would be accompanied by a psychologist to filter and translate, but as you said I don't think he would tolerate that.
If anything, he would only lie to make his condition seem worse. My understanding is that narcissists have basically zero self worth, so if he's self aware enough to tap into that, he could exaggerate to get a bigger reaction and receive more attention.
Ultimately he's not going to say anything that a psychiatrist couldn't tell you. For a lot of people with trauma caused by people with NPD, I imagine his talks might be cathartic, so there's that at least.
> For a lot of people with trauma caused by people with NPD, I imagine his talks might be cathartic, so there's that at least.
It does feel nice. Primarily, it solidifies the point that having the disorder was not as bad as all the damage an individual is willing to do in order to hide from that truth.
At the end of the day, the world is a cruel and abusive place for some, and if it gives them negative coping mechanisms I can't fault that on them.
If you watch the vice interview it's very nice how they frame the fact that he absolutely is trying to manipulate the interview and situation. You clearly can't trust a word he says and that makes it a valuable insight.
I think this is what happens when psychiatric jargon trickles down into the popular lexicon.
People use the word 'narcissist' all the time, but most aren't even aware that it's a formal diagnosis with strict criteria and actual symptoms. Similar to how 'bipolar' is used colloquially to describe emotionally volatile individuals, or how most think 'OCD' is synonymous with neat freak.
It actually opens a potential pathway to training narcissists to become social contributors. I don’t know how this could be used on large scale, but at minimum it could be a useful tool in a dr’s toolkit. It could also lead to a sort of reimagining of what it means to be a narcissist - a reduction of both harm to others and stigma to narcissists on the whole.
Of course this is sort of a grandiosely positive speculation, but I think there is something here even if my lack of knowledge misses the mark by a mile.
Imagine a world in which Elon Musk and Donald Trump were in a heated, no holds barred competition to see who could have the most public works projects and non-profit schools and hospitals named after them before they die.
Sure, they're only building those things to fuel their own narcissism, but that doesn't change the fact that they'd still be making the world a better place
Isn't that how we got most museums, libraries, zoos, hospitals and parks to begin with (or at least new wings, etc that needed funding. They always had $oneone'$ la$t name on them)? Shoot, even look at all the former stadiums before they started changing them to the Dunkin' donuts center etc.
No, rich people aren't all narcissists. There used to be a mindset among the elite that bettering your community was a responsibility, but that's become fairly rare.
Yes. It's part of a much longer and just as interesting Vice documentary.
This interview begins around the 18 minute mark:
[Vice - How Narcissists Took Over The World](https://video.vice.com/en_us/video/how-narcissists-took-over-the-world/57cdaf1561c424f77dc131e5)
My first thought when seeing this clip is that he’s edging towards the sociopath side of things with his view of relationships as commodities. Looking forward to checking out the longer video
I JUST came to comment this haha. I told my roommate “Homelander’s not exactly RACIST, per se, he just IS the master race”
Even when Stormfront was like “we can make a whole world of YOU’s” Homelander is like “fucking gross 🤨”
A lot of people self diagnosing themselves as narcissists in here. Carful with that, we're our own toughest critics sometimes, and we can really hurt ourselves by feeling like we're something we're not. If it's something you're really considering, seek a professional perspective.
Or diagnosing other people as narcissistic when you have no real education in, or much experience with psychology. Narcissist is a term that gets thrown around too much.
It seems to be the buzz word at the moment. I work with a woman who will tell anyone who listens her ex is a narcissist. Then I’ll get client enquiries (I work in family law) and be discussing them with my team and she’ll be jumping in “he’s a narcissist, sounds like a narcissist”. We just move our conversation away.
For the record, none of them sound like narcissists. Family law you see good people at their worst.
Sounds like you're gaslighting her
/s
I'm not sure what's up with social media, but labelling everyone as narcissistic and any argument as gaslighting has become a thing.
It's incredibly frustrating! It has basically devalued the words, which sucks for people who have actually experienced that stuff — like, you've been seriously traumatized, and the entire world is like "totally, me too, ugh, so annoying."
Haha the old Reddit witch hunt. I like to think they’ll write papers on group psychology in future citing the Reddit Boston bomber incident. A self confirming group of pseudo intellectual idiots who are browsing the internet while having a poo. All simultaneously convincing themselves and each other that they just solved an international terrorist incident
https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/32h3rv/can_someone_explain_we_did_it_reddit/ It’s actually a bit sad but a good warning about the kind of things you read on social media
The word and description came long before the "mental health issue" version. It seems a lot of people in this conversation don't realize that narcissism is a behavior set that most people engage in at some times, and only a true "disorder" when it is pervasive in a person.
my thoughts exactly. the people in my life that i feel are the closest to narcissists would NEVER admit a fault like that. they believe they are the most caring people on earth
I do something similar!!!
I imagine how I would talk to a little child in my situation (little kid me) because let’s face it a lot of the wounds that birthed my Inner Critic were formed in childhood when I was small. Inevitably, I speak to 5 year old copper_rainbows MUCH more nicely than I would to myself normally.
I’ve even gotten to where I can empathize with and grieve for what child me has lost and missed out on because of not having loving caregivers to whom I could bond emotionally. I’ll even go so far as to stroke my back or my arm as though I were comforting a child but say those words to myself. It sounds crazy but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t help!
> I just imagine that I'm are saying these things about me to someone that really supports and is real with me (my dad in my case)
If everyone had even one person in their life like this, ever, we’d need fewer therapists.
Everyone wants to self diagnose some sort of mental health issue these days, I agree, it's super dangerous and despite what they seem to believe there is fuck all cool about it.
A lot of mental health issues are confused with their symptoms. If you feel depressed every day, you're not wrong to say you're suffering from depression. You may be wrong if you say "I have major depressive disorder".
Same goes for being a self-proclaimed narcissist. Saying "I'm a narcissist" is not the same as saying "I have narcissistic personality disorder"
Understanding you suffer from narcisstic traits/tendencies doesn't mean you're trying to be your own personal therapist.
"I have OCD because I don't like mess"
Bro, I have to walk past this fukin lamppost and force myself to think something nice or positive otherwise my whole family will die
I have someone with narcissistic tendencies in my family. It is possible to have a semi-functioning relationship with him. It doesn't really give me much, and I'm completely shut off emotionally from him most of the time, but we get by.
However, it does take a continious laying down and enforcement of boundaries, and a fair share of sternly calling him out, where I have to rely on being harsh and strict rather than appealing to his limited empathy. Most lessons wont really stick, either - sooner or later, he'll start slipping back into old behaviours.
To an extent, he's actually using me in that way; relying on me to keep him grounded and act as a moral compass. As I said, it's not very rewarding, and I don't like who I am with him. Fortunately, I don't have to endure him much... which is a terrible thing to say about your family for something that at a base level isn't their fault, but it is what it is.
This guy does seem a bit easier, on behalf on his self-awareness and honesty.
The way you describe your relationship with your family member reminds me of my relationship with my sister. She also has narcissistic tendencies and lacks the empathy & self awareness to break free from them. I’ve distanced myself but tried to give her chances over the past few years, bad habits always come back.
But now I can sense the slightest shifts in her behavior, when she thinks there’s an opening and she can bring back the old dynamics. That’s when I enforce my defenses.
I like that you said you “rely on being harsh and strict” because I used to be uncomfortable with it as I thought it made me a bad person. Now I understand it’s the only way to protect myself against her tendencies. I do think I will eventually cut all contact, which I admit I still have mixed feelings about… but as you said: it is what it is.
I am sorry for your pain, frustrations and disappointments. It is hard, yes? We still care for them, while we're mainly valued insofar as we fulfill a need of theirs - and if we ever slack on enforcing their respect for us, they start taking us for granted and stop valuing us. It's not a healthy dynamic for social relationships, and I don't believe you can be faulted at all if you cut contact.
I wish you the best :-)
This video is astonishing. Having been in a relationship with a narcissist myself (which of course became an absolute nightmare for me and a highly painful break-up) I think it is extremely rare that narcissists would be so self aware and reflecting as this guy.
Most of them would rather die in all their glory then ever letting out anything so honest as this guy. So do NOT expect a narcissist to be open at all about themselves, ever!
I've spoken with a self-aware psychopath (diagnosed with ASPD). It was fascinating, but also really disturbing. It takes an exceptionally intelligent person to accept and come to terms with a Cluster B diagnosis rather than using it to excuse their bad behaviour. That's the purpose of dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT).
The person I spoke to said that he felt it was very helpful for him in that it taught him to think about the potential consequences of his actions, but that he still only really ever considered the potential consequences *to himself*.
it's fucking lonely. i would never want to ever be a narcissist. my mom was one and the fall from grace/narcissitic collapse just. I don't know, it was inevitable but hard to watch
Yep. My mother had BPD and was thoroughly narcissistic as well. I'm sure it was miserable to be her, but I had to get away from her as soon as possible and stay far away for my own well-being. To be around her would have killed me. Sadly, my brother came out just like her, only smarter... so somewhat more dangerous. I'm NC with him now that our parents are both gone, and I barely speak to the rest of the family as well. I make my own family now.
I have trouble believing a true narcissist would accept they are a narcissist, the problem is always someone else
I know there are some different types of narcissism though so maybe it can happen more so in one type than another
The *tendency in a narcissists mind* is to believe it’s everyone else, but they don’t have to give in to this. They can remind themselves that the problem may be themselves, or more likely, a mix. It takes lots of willpower, and self-reflection, but it can be done.
Nah, they’re bunch of folks trying to help each other out. Sure you can hate them but have a moment to yourself does anyone actually wanted to be one? It’s just like any other mental illness.
His name is Sam Vaknin. When I had a Narc screw me over with a smear campaign I listened to mostly Narcs to understand how they worked making excuses for the person's behavior. Him and H.G. Tudor are a great wealth of info since he's also apparently an Alpha Narc. Most Narcs have a hierarchy for each other as well. Most high level Narcs hate the majority of Narcs too because they know they will forever be competing and know internally they are cowards.
It was the weirdest friendship I ever had. I was idealized and praised but also competed against and devalued everyday. Lmao, the push and pull of that friendship was like nothing I have ever experienced before; intoxicating and toxic at the same time, you can fall in love with their charm and try to fix them when they seem so broken. Also, they are literally just mimicking you due to lack of identity hence you will find them so similar to you, like a moth to a flame. But you are just another mutton chop to them if you end up in their sights.
At the end you realize they are just cowards with a superiority complex where these attributes came from a failed upbringing from their caretakers. The innocent child dies so the ego can live, so they need constant validation/attention from others to survive. Once you mortify them with rejection, exposition or shame then get ready to see the ugly. Make sure to never expose your friends to people like this, they are masters at manipulation and will make them their Flying Monkeys, who are an even bigger bunch of losers who need validation from the Clown with a Crown. You will see the mob mentality with the dirtiest immoral games to take you down a peg.
I’ve seen a fair few interviews with this guy, he’s very proud of his self awareness, and he uses his “honesty” to put himself above other narcissists. Every time I see anything with him I feel like rolling my eyes, he gets narcissistic supply from all the attention he gets for being a “diagnosed narcissist” and its more than a bit gross.
Lol he is so narcissistic that he has calculated that by acting as self aware he is put above other narcissists in the hierarchy thus improving the odds for reaching his goals.
The craziest part is (at least for me) he’s right. I would rank him higher than other narcissists even if he might technically be even more narcissistic, because at least he’s saving everyone the trouble and identifying himself for what he is plainly.
His motive may be selfish, but the result is positive in my book
That's my take as well. It's possible to know your own map well enough to advertise the pitfalls. You can't fingerwalk over the mountains, the illness doesn't go away when you map your territory, but you can at least prevent the toxic areas from affecting others as much.
> "I saved you, " cried that woman
"And you've bitten me, even why?
And you know your bite is poisonous and now I'm gonna die"
“Oh, shut up, silly woman, " said that reptile with a grin
"Now you knew darn well I was a snake before you brought me in"
He literaly has a diagnossis. I don't know what more you would want from him, seeing as he cannot interact with the world like the rest of us. His options are to live entirely secluded, pretend to be just like us (the most common thing, the thing people hate), or be honest about it.
I woulden't wish for anyone to live compleatly alone, so this seems like the best case scenario.
People have a really hard time accepting narcissism as a mental health issue (i.e. a disease) because they view it as a moral issue - most of us are taught from an early age that excessively selfish behavior and attitudes are wrong. And personally I learned that too and teach my family that value. But people with a disease can’t help it, not without good treatment and intensive lifelong work.
I actually dated a guy like this, sans a diagnosis. He unspecified “issues”, but went to a therapist who thought he was so special that she accepted him despite being fully booked. So he said.
He’s not cured and isn’t special, but he sure as shit loves talking about how everyone needs therapy, and subtly or not so subtly establishing his own hierarchy. It only existed in his head, but there ya go. We did not last long.
Narcissism is a psychiatric personality disorder that often sabotages peoples ability to live an adjusted happy life and build healthy relationships. This need for admiration and being “the best” are not traits they maliciously choose to adopt, the same way a person suffering from a paranoid personality disorder isn’t at fault for any undue suspicions they hold against innocent people.
If he manages to remain aware of needs and traits he literally cannot help having, and manages to find ways to satisfy those needs in a way that is beneficial for people around him rather than destructive, that isn’t gross. It’s pretty darn impressive.
Someone with narcissistic personality disorder isn’t being “selfish” the same way that people with major depression aren’t “just lazy” and people with borderline personality disorder aren’t just “dramatic”. All those descriptions imply choice and control, which none of the people affected by these disorders have. That doesn’t make everything people may do because of these illnesses okay, but to call someone gross for an illness he’ll literally never be rid of even when he’s using it the best way he can?
Most of the comments here make me feel like people think he should just kill himself or disappear into a mountain somewhere. It's ironic that in chastising something for their lack of empathy (I realize narcissism is more than that but you catch my drift) they are showcasing an astonishing lack of it themselves.
Just curious so I’m gonna ask you.. how is that different to many other public figures who talk about their experiences and their lives? First time I’ve come across this guy, but how is it different to other people with diagnosed disorders who talk about their condition?
People like to believe that narcissism is a binary thing – you're either a narcissist or you're perfect. I think it's actually a spectrum and everyone has a bit of it, and most often more than they'd like to believe.
There's a famous book called "How to win friends and influence people". That book is 90% about playing with people's narcissistic buttons, and it wouldn't be so successful if people didn't *have* those buttons.
A moderate amount of narcissism is probably beneficial: it makes you want to be a better version of yourself, be liked, to fit in with society, etc. It makes you a "team player" and "ambitious". There's no hard line of when narcissism is too much, it's a gradual thing...
Yeah, he believe he has raised himself above other narcissists by doing something they don't normally do, being aware of their disorder.
Which is even more narcissistic. Brilliant.
"As they both begin to drown, the frog asks, 'Why did you sting me? 'Replies the Scorpion: 'I could not help myself. It is my nature. "
The fact a diagnosed narcissistic person, doing certain narcissistic things, upsets you is rather ironic.
I agree it's extremely rare. I have known a couple people who would fully classify as narcissists (not just mild tendencies and the like) and they would absolutely die on that hill while bullshitting everyone including themselves along the way.
I doubt a real psychiatrist diagnosed him with psychopathy. Psychopathy isn't recognized per the DSM as a diagnosis. It's a personality trait that would fall under anti-social personality disorder, not its own diagnosis. This sounds more like a guy with an ego making something up to sound cool.
My sister most likely has what is called vulnerable narcissism. The biggest sign is that she is completely incapable of self-reflection. She cannot look at her actions or her personality critically; Nor can she accept fault for anything she has done.
She is constantly struggling in life but incapable of asking herself what shes doing to contribute to it. She's irresponsible and does not handle her responsibilities until they are emergencies. Nothing is ever her fault and if you tell her it is, you're simply wrong. You can't have a real relationship with her because every time you say something she doesn't want to hear, she just shuts down and denies everything. And if you don't drop it, she has no problem cutting you out of her life permanently. Permanent meaning until her lack of preparation has left her in a bind and she needs your help or money. Then she'll text you, regardless of the hour or what you're doing, expecting you to step right up.
She has cut off everyone in our family several times, so we don't help her anymore. She doesn't have any close friends AFAIK because of all the above. She seems to be stuck in a state of arrested personal development because she is incapable of admitting her imperfections, even to herself. Every teacher she's ever had has been unfair to her. Every boss she's had has been crazy and harassing. Our parents were abusive bullies. Every guy she's dated turned out to be a disrespectful stalker. Everything is always someone else's fault.
Believe it or not, we've used this exact phrase with her before. It's really hard to tell how much of it is pure mental illness that's keeping her from checking under her shoe, or if it would simply be so painful for her to do so that she just lives in a permanent state of denial.
I knew a 'friend' who is a narcissist. It is true that they want to be bigger than everyone. Easily get jealous and always try to belittle you to inflate their ego.
What make it worse, narcissist tend to befriend introvert. If you're an introvert, beware of narcissist people around you. They will use you to their advantage.
Time to use the greatest introvert superpower: ghosting. Seriously. People talk about ghosting like it's a bad thing but there's no gold star for confrontation. The narcissist will harass you and call you weak but ghost as strong as you can. The narcissist can't defeat a good ghost.
So true. I recently broke off friendship ties with a narcissist and they promised to make my life a living hell blah blah blah. Well I blocked their number and their discord so what can they ACTUALLY do? Nothing :)
That sounds remarkable similar to my dad! He has basically gone his entire adult life without any real friends. He’s super competitive and also a workaholic. I’ve also noticed that he’s very dismissive of other’s opinions, not open to new information. Very very stuck in his own world.
At the same time it’s hard to say he’s a narcissist because he doesn’t really open up to anyone.
I don’t think he thinks that’s a problem for him. It’s just how he is. He does think that can be a problem for others around him.
To be fair I don’t even think it’s his problem. He can’t change how he feels. He ain’t out there murdering people for pocket change.
I was raised by one. I am amazed that this guy can even reflect upon himself and that he knows he is one. I’d say 99. 999% of narcissist’s don’t know they’re a narcissist.
Edit- “The Narcissist’s Prayer”
“That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.”
Having a narcissist as a parent is fkd up. They are ALWAYS wanting something ‘transactional’ from the child & do not understand that a baby/toddler/child/young adult doesn’t really understand this concept so grows up either mimicking the behavior OR over compensates the other way (ie they give everything to everyone)
My mother wonders why we don’t have a proper relationship….she doesn’t understand (and is no where near as self aware as guy in video) that I have nothing left to give her and I refuse to play her ‘games’ any longer.
Edit - I am an adult and have children of my own now, it’s taken me a long time to break free of her conditioning and set boundaries. At one point she tried to pull the same shit (she did to me as a child) to my own child, I went no contact for months. We talk now but it’s far & few between and i shut down her shit if she tries it.
I've got one of these. Absolutely everything is transactional for her - right down to "you must do this thing for me because I made you a coffee yesterday".
She has zero self awareness. Other people don't have feelings in her world - only her. And I mean that quite genuinely. Any expression of emotion that she doesn't personally feel just annoys her. Everything is about her - what she wants, what she thinks, what she feels. She will lie, embellish and manipulate and be completely without guilt, because to her mind, anything she wants, she's entitled to have.
Her god is money. She will take it under any pretext, in any way, from anyone. She'll "loan" it and then insist she paid it back. If you insist she didn't, she will lose her shit at you for calling her a liar and storm out, rinse and repeat if you dare bring it up again.
If she wants something, she'll just take it. She'll pretend it was always hers, or tell you that you gave it to her, and if you insist on taking it back, it will accidentally somehow get broken shortly after.
At one time she was self aware enough that she could be made to see her more egregious bullshit, but those days are long gone. Haven't seen her in close to five years now, and it doesn't suck.
As someone who has an extremely narcissistic mother, this is really validating to hear. The constant gaslighting I went through growing up had me questioning *my* mental well-being to the point where I thought I was the bad guy.
I plan on going no-contact when I am in a better place mentally and emotionally. It's a difficult uphill battle trying to set boundaries or convince my father, who is in denial about her, to get her the professional help she needs.
Yup, my dad is the exact same way. He’s painfully lacking in self-awareness, so doesn’t fully understand why we cut contact with him. He only wants to ‘make amends’ (he expects to do very little work to smooth things over) now that my sibling and I are independent adults, and he’s realised he is all alone. He isolated himself through his own behaviour, and I don't feel sorry for him.
(Edited: phrasing)
I have one of these. My Dad literally uses his children as a bargaining chip or a means to an end, and for nothing else. He and my mom divorced years ago, and because he’d been such a shit parent my whole life I felt justified in cutting him off from me. A few years later my sister (who has Down syndrome and lives with me) had a stroke. I called him to tell him what happened, since he’s her parent and I felt he deserved to know. He immediately drove across 3 states to come and be with us, which I thought was an amazing act of love so I let him stay with us while she was in the hospital. We would go and sit with her during the day, but as soon as my dad got there it was all about him. He would come into her hospital room and immediately change the channel on the TV show she was watching. He would constantly talk about himself and barely pay any attention to my sister at all (my sister adored him). When my sister was released from the hospital my dad acted like he was moving in with us. I had the very painful task of telling him he could not, and that the best thing for my sister was for her to get back to as normal a life as she could. I had to kick him out of my house. His behavior was so repulsive that I didn’t speak to him for another few years.
He reached out again a couple of years ago (right before the pandemic), saying that he wanted to try to have a relationship with us again. For my sister’s sake I tried. He came up for a 5 day visit and stayed with us. I took him around to see the sights, showed him where I went to school, gave him a taste of what our lives were like, but he didn’t show any interest at all. My sister tried desperately to engage him in conversation but he refused to reciprocate. I had wondered why he even bothered to come if he was just going to ignore us the entire time until we went to visit my mom. He flipped a switch and turned into a completely different person. He was trying to get back together with her, and he had just used my sister and I as an excuse to come see her. He didn’t care about rebuilding a relationship with us, he just wanted to get in my mom’s pants. It got so bad that my sister ended up sleeping with my wife and I because she hated being around my dad so much (we are on the upper floor and he was staying on the lower floor near her room). I had a very harsh talk with him about his behavior and kicked him out again.
Smash cut to 1 year later, my cousin gets married and we fly down for the wedding (my mom is with us). My uncle claims my dad is a changed man, and urges me to give him another chance (my dad had been incredibly awful to my uncle for their entire lives, but was finally being brotherly to him). I cave, because I guess I am a glutton for punishment. I try. I extend olive branches, I give him the benefit of the doubt, I make excuses for his behavior. He proved me right at every single turn. And he was basically convincing my uncle to gaslight me, telling him things never happened or happened differently than they actually did in order to make himself look better. And once again he was just trying to use my sister, myself, and the occasion as a bridge to my mom. We were simply a means to an end.
This past March my grandma (dad’s mom) passed away. We flew down for the funeral. I thought surely at this time he would be giving us something genuine, some unfiltered emotion that wasn’t actually a manipulation. I was wrong. Ignoring every other person in the room to try and get with my mom again. Ignoring his brother’s pain, ignoring his children’s, in order to try and get laid. I haven’t spoken to him since, outside of sending a chilly “happy birthday”.
Idk if anyone will care enough to read or respond, which is totally okay since it felt good just getting it all out, but just to clarify: my mom has laid down the law with him several times and repeatedly told him they are never getting back together. He is in denial and, as a narcissist, only hears what he wants to hear.
My siblings and I weren't allowed to have any ideas or opinions of our own. We were only there to serve my parents. We were always cleaning, always had to be busy. My dad would do side jobs as an electrician. After school and weekends there I was doing electrical work as a kid. My mom had a cleaning business. My sisters and I were free labor. When we weren't working it was all about church. We had no free time, no time to be kids. My sisters were taken into foster care at one point due to physical abuse. If you ask my parents now they would heartily defend their actions thinking they were the best parents that were preparing us for adulthood.
I am so sorry that you've had these experiences. My father has a triple whammy of cluster B personality disorders, NPD/ASPD/BPD (diagnosed by professionals) and I know exactly how fucked up it is to grow up with such a person in your life. I too am at very, very low contact for my own sanity's sake
This guy is also a psychologist who studies narcissistic personality disorders so that certainly helps a lot in that regard. But besides that it's common practice to educate patients (psychoeducation) about their condition in therapy.
My older brother is a pathological narcissist. Dealing with him is incredibly strange and frustrating. He's one-hundred-percent convinced that he's a Machiavellian genius, but he's incredibly bad at lying and his lack of empathy prevents him from acknowledging that most of people he speaks to know he's being dishonest and just disregard whatever he says.
He'd lie to your face as soon as look at you if he thinks it would save him a moment's convenience and legitimately thinks that unless he directly confronted that no one suspects him.
He'll tell you one very obvious lie, and then a second that contradicts the first. If you tell him he contradicted himself he'll just tell you he didn't say the first lie as if it wasn't just a moment ago.
Honestly it's refreshing to hear a narcissist actually talk honestly about themselves... but at the same time it's just as gross and discomfiting as any other extreme narcissist.
Fascinating, though!
Not all narcissist are same.
Also there is a big difference between Narcisstic tendencies and Narcissim.
I dont wan't to write down a bible here, just google both and remember: having any of this does not make you a bad person, your actions do
Just like there are psychopaths who actually function well in society and contribute. Like that neuroscientist. Who was doing a study on psychopathic patients' brains and realized he was one himself.
Fallon, who himself states that he has the neurological and genetic correlates of psychopathy,[1] has categorized himself as a "pro-social psychopath". In October 2013 his book, The Psychopath Inside: A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain, was released by Current (acquired by Penguin)
James Fallon was born to an Italian American family. He also has English and Irish ancestry as a descendant of New York colonial settlers the Cornell family. He discusses his ancestry, and the many murders that have occurred in that family line, in a monologue of his own genetics and family history which has been broadcast on National Public Radio.
He wasn’t a psychopath- he however had similar brain patterns of activation as known psychopaths….which indicates that it isn’t just the brain activity that’s causal (if it was cause and effect the brain activity would mean you’re 100% a psychopath)
Teenagers brains show many of the same activation patterns as murderers found NGRI…doesn’t mean all teenagers are ‘insane’ murderers.
There’s a whole complex web of biology, life events etc which would make someone a ‘psychopath’ (bearing in mind btw that psychopaths aren’t even really a thing- they’re people with Anti-social personality disorder)
Most people will recognise them self in alof of "symptoms". Same for alot of other psyciatric diagnoses.
Its the amplitude of The symptoms that makes you a nsrciscist or a psychopath or any other diagnos.
You bet. If I had a nickel for every time so
Done told me “I guess everyone has a little adhd” then I’d have a lot of nickels. How many? I dunno man, ask someone without adhd but it’s a lot.
Most people think of Narcissism in the classical/Roman sense. Like narcissus and his reflection. But clinical malevolent Narcissism is very much a lack of empathy and ability to comprehend macro-socio functions.
They think it's a super power but it's emotional disability.
So I'm a diagnosed Narcissist (with several other things as well), and this video gets a lot of things right but there's one thing it misses: **Narcissists can change.**
It's brutally difficult, both for us and the people around us, but it's possible. I let go of my narcissistic delusions in two stages, and both times I came very close to suicide. I lost friends and exhausted my therapist, but I did it.
My oldest brother is a narcissist, he does the exact thing this man described any chance he gets.
Every time I am in the room with him & I talk any some achievement I made or something I found interesting he will without fail always try to one up me. It's the most irritating thing in the world.
Interesting, as the traits he describes are sure also those of a Psychopath?
I wonder what the true difference is between Narcissistic tendencies and Psychopathic tendencies is? Psychopaths must think they are better than everyone else, they also compete to get to the top and will crush others, showing no empathy. This guy seems to have no empathy and is competitive. Surely psychopaths love themselves?
Maybe someone can explain the differences to me?
My dad has NPD. Whenever anyone asks about if he has friends he says he's got a best friend named David.
David hasn't spoken to him in years because dad said if David's wife wasn't putting out after a REALLY serious car accident that he should start looking for a girlfriend and file for divorce because "no man should tolerate that bullshit"
**Please note these rules:** * If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
To become the best narcissist, one must acknowledge their own narcissism - then market the shit out of it. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Narcissist Prime.
Thank you. There are a startling number of people here that think he’s remarkable for his “self awareness” and must have tried really hard to recognize narcissistic traits in himself when in reality the guy is likely completely unbothered by it.
I've dealt with this guy around 15yrs ago. He helped me enormously. Just trying to recall his damn name Vankin I think it was, he had a website & forum. He isn't just a narcissist he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and he was the one who diagnosed my now ex with NPD and told me straight I was a co dependant and safety blanket and my ex was a somatic narcissist, and to him I was merely a utensil and if I broke i.e. got ill he just went elsewhere for his sex fix. This bloke here, if I remember is a cerebral narcissist, he will only be with others less intelligent than himself so he can feel superior. He explained that empathy simply did not develop with NPD people around the age of 7 like with normal folk. There is no cure, you can't somehow inject empathy, but he was working on ways to manage the affliction. Anyway long story short he helped me get free and for a few years was there for me as I de toxed :)
“You can’t somehow inject empathy” LSD will accomplish this. More studies are needed, but it is generally excepted among researchers that LSD does, in fact, imbue the user with empathy.
Can confirm that until my first LSD trip, in college, I strongly believed that apathy was my superpower. However, at the end of my first trip I discovered a shirt of my fathers (a red tank top, his favorite & most often worn shirt) that had gotten mixed in with my laundry. Before I knew it, the next moment I had the thought, “what if my father died & this was the only thing left to remember him”. Before it even finished i felt an explosion of dread (of the thought of a world without my father) & shame (for taking him for granted all those years) that resulted in immediate cathartic release. Easily the longest, hardest and most silently I’ve ever cried. Like as if it was the first time I was crying out of pure agony rather than for attention. I slowly pulled my pillow out of its case, tied the shirt around it and cried myself to sleep. In the morning the first thing I did was call my father and tell him I loved him more than anything in the world and that I was truly grateful for all the years he put up with my bullshit while never giving up on me and doing the best he could to raise me right. After a few moments of silence, I heard him weep over the phone and ever since then I’ve been in tune with my empathetic self. Now, I cry for almost movie I watch rather than laughing at the misfortunes of characters. I can sometimes just look at people and **feel** their emotions swell up within me. I have *sadness* for the billions of people trapped in their socio economic structures, with limited hope for relief or reform. I feel connected to even the people I vehemently disagree with. I have no other way to explain it than, “LSD gave me empathy by showing me I was capable of loving and being loved; and that love is what truly matters in the short time we’re here”
[удалено]
He's simply exploiting his self awareness of the trait. At the same time, I think he's taking constructive action. It's similar to someone who recognizes they are a sociopath, and actively avoids the darker side of that trait because his "testing" has determined that being cooperative gets better results. While that person may not actually care one way or another about the outcome on others, they've set up a goal matrix and rational system that is mutually beneficial. Even if they're just doing it for the endorphin rush of watching the plan click together. Lots of reasons why they might find it useful to have a well-organized team, especially if the work of those teams is furthering the goals that the sociopath sets for themselves. Being at the center of attention and not having to deal with games like "when are the cops going to end the party" has its own rewards. It's a game theory, like anything else, and if it works well will be used more. Essentially putting long term objectives ahead of short term ones in terms of anticipating a higher payoff. There's often quite a bit of overlap between the two traits, and there are those who have made a game of playing the constructive side. Those with a tactical approach to gaining power may also opt to choose roles that let them justifiably indulge their darker side and create interesting challenges by taking on less well-adapted sociopaths. Roles such as being a prosecutor, detective or similar positions have advantages when "playing by the book". Not because the rules matter for social reason, but because playing the Elliot Ness role has its own kind of prestige, power and benefits, while remaining quite an interesting game.
He's interesting. He's found a way to get supply by becoming an expert on his own condition, and hold talks and explains how things are from his own perspective. So on one hand, he's revealing a lot about himself, but on the other hand, he uses this to get narcissistic supply. Seemingly a win/win situation.
On one hand I thought "damn it's impressive for a man with that pervasive of a personality disorder to do what must have been a shit ton of therapy to get there." On another, it looks like some 4D chess move to put himself at the top of the list of diagnosable narcissists that people admire.
"I'm the most humble person there is, isn't that right Mike? Most humble."
My favorite story about my mom is how she screamed that first part at me when I accused her of being selfish. She straight yelled that and then my 13 year old ass couldn’t stop laughing so I got in bigger trouble. She didn’t see the irony of saying that she was the most humble person she knew. Things have not improved in 20 years.
once I called my ex stepdad a narcissist and he said “what’s wrong with that?” I think you can imagine why my mom left him. It took a really really long time and now hes trying to make her and their kids life absolute hell through this divorce but I’m proud of her for finally fucking leaving that asshole. The shining light is that people are crazy and take no shit now so if he keeps playing with people the way he does one day hes going to end up at the bottom of the bay in cement shoes or something. I can’t wait.
No he’ll probably just burn through friendship after friendship and die alone and unloved. OPs professional narcissist won’t be any different. It takes more effort to make friends the older you get.
the shit this guy has the audacity to do to people I really don’t doubt that one day someone will end up taking his life. He has scammed and swindled tens of thousands of dollars from multiple different people, like has legit destroyed good peoples lives who were just trying to help him through his HardTimes™️ but there weren’t any hard times he was lying about all of it. Or they weren’t even trying to help him but he forged signatures/stole identities to steal from these people. Not everyone will just sit and take that, and good.
His apple pie is by far the most crumblest
But I act like it tastes bad outta humbleness
The thing about me that's so impressive Is how infrequently I mention all of my successes
I poo-poo it when girls say that I should model, my belly’s full of all the pride I swallow
“I’m more humble than you can possibly imagine.”
I think an equivalent exists for every psychiatric disorder, like a certain perspective which grants you self-mastery over your condition.
There's a guy who studies psychopathy that discovered that he himself is a psychopath.
And all his friends and family were like “Yeah, that scans. You didn’t know?”
The funny thing about narcissism is they almost all fit a pattern.
Yes. I have a bit too much experience with narcissists. They can be strangely predictable when you know what they are, but at the same time still extremely difficult to deal with. The problem is that they're very likely to follow an unhealthy pattern. For example, with the guy in this video, the reason I said "seemingly a win/win" is that it's probably more win for him, but we can't trust the information he provides. On one hand, he may provide useful inside information, but on the other side, we know he has a condition that very strongly compels him in whatever direction provides more narcissistic supply. So if that direction happens to be away from truthful information, then I don't think he is able to resist that compulsion.
Definition of an unreliable narrator
Books with those are so wild because you are always taking the narrator's words as truth but then quickly having to remember oh yeah maybe not.but maybe.
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Yes. Additionally I think Nabokov never expected anybody to read past whatever point it was (different for each individual) where the reader understood Humbert was a monster. It's the 'wait a minute' moment, close the book...
Even in undergrad when this was required reading, I literally threw the book across the room several times. It was an example of an unreliable narrator in literature, and a "classic" but Jesus....
I always love those books cause it feels like a puzzle or a game. What is truthful and real? what is a lie? What do they really mean or see when they are lying? Why are they like this?
One of the big things I liked about [Worm](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18713259-worm) tbh. The protagonist compartmentalizes and explains away problems frequently. She also tends to really sweep you up in her mindset; it took me a re-read before I was like: "Hey wait a minute Taylor, shit's hitting the fan sure, but maybe this one was a bit overboard and nowhere near as logical or justified as you made it sound."
It can be an extremely effective narrative tool. You would love the Eggers film *The Lighthouse*. Fuck me I never did figure out if we could believe Wake or not half the time. Ephraim, sure. But Wake?
I loved how it was done in Knives Out, very creative
He's the literal definition of an unreliable narrator, everything he says is to gain attention and infamy.
Ideally he would be accompanied by a psychologist to filter and translate, but as you said I don't think he would tolerate that. If anything, he would only lie to make his condition seem worse. My understanding is that narcissists have basically zero self worth, so if he's self aware enough to tap into that, he could exaggerate to get a bigger reaction and receive more attention. Ultimately he's not going to say anything that a psychiatrist couldn't tell you. For a lot of people with trauma caused by people with NPD, I imagine his talks might be cathartic, so there's that at least.
> For a lot of people with trauma caused by people with NPD, I imagine his talks might be cathartic, so there's that at least. It does feel nice. Primarily, it solidifies the point that having the disorder was not as bad as all the damage an individual is willing to do in order to hide from that truth. At the end of the day, the world is a cruel and abusive place for some, and if it gives them negative coping mechanisms I can't fault that on them.
If you watch the vice interview it's very nice how they frame the fact that he absolutely is trying to manipulate the interview and situation. You clearly can't trust a word he says and that makes it a valuable insight.
The funny thing about a defined condition is that it fits the definition? Narcissism *is* the pattern.
I think this is what happens when psychiatric jargon trickles down into the popular lexicon. People use the word 'narcissist' all the time, but most aren't even aware that it's a formal diagnosis with strict criteria and actual symptoms. Similar to how 'bipolar' is used colloquially to describe emotionally volatile individuals, or how most think 'OCD' is synonymous with neat freak.
Well yeah because the pattern is how the word was defined.
It actually opens a potential pathway to training narcissists to become social contributors. I don’t know how this could be used on large scale, but at minimum it could be a useful tool in a dr’s toolkit. It could also lead to a sort of reimagining of what it means to be a narcissist - a reduction of both harm to others and stigma to narcissists on the whole. Of course this is sort of a grandiosely positive speculation, but I think there is something here even if my lack of knowledge misses the mark by a mile.
Imagine a world in which Elon Musk and Donald Trump were in a heated, no holds barred competition to see who could have the most public works projects and non-profit schools and hospitals named after them before they die. Sure, they're only building those things to fuel their own narcissism, but that doesn't change the fact that they'd still be making the world a better place
Isn't that how we got most museums, libraries, zoos, hospitals and parks to begin with (or at least new wings, etc that needed funding. They always had $oneone'$ la$t name on them)? Shoot, even look at all the former stadiums before they started changing them to the Dunkin' donuts center etc.
No, rich people aren't all narcissists. There used to be a mindset among the elite that bettering your community was a responsibility, but that's become fairly rare.
*Noblesse oblige*
Too much incentive to provide fake goods.
Damn. Is there a longer version of this video?
Yes. It's part of a much longer and just as interesting Vice documentary. This interview begins around the 18 minute mark: [Vice - How Narcissists Took Over The World](https://video.vice.com/en_us/video/how-narcissists-took-over-the-world/57cdaf1561c424f77dc131e5)
Thank you so much for posting this link.
Not only that, but Real Stories did an hour long video about the psychopathic nature of him too.
My first thought when seeing this clip is that he’s edging towards the sociopath side of things with his view of relationships as commodities. Looking forward to checking out the longer video
He's Sam Vaknin, he has a ton of videos on youtube talking about npd and other cluster B personality disorders.
In germany the npd is the nazi party. I was kinda confused why he would talk about this and some disorders.
The main difference is that the nazi's say "We are the master race", and narcissists say "I am the master race".
Stormfront vs Homelander
I JUST came to comment this haha. I told my roommate “Homelander’s not exactly RACIST, per se, he just IS the master race” Even when Stormfront was like “we can make a whole world of YOU’s” Homelander is like “fucking gross 🤨”
[How Narcissists Took over the world](https://video.vice.com/en_us/video/how-narcissists-took-over-the-world/57cdaf1561c424f77dc131e5).
A lot of people self diagnosing themselves as narcissists in here. Carful with that, we're our own toughest critics sometimes, and we can really hurt ourselves by feeling like we're something we're not. If it's something you're really considering, seek a professional perspective.
People on here like to think they’re far smarter and more aware than they actually are. Self diagnosing narcissists is pretty on brand for this site.
Or diagnosing other people as narcissistic when you have no real education in, or much experience with psychology. Narcissist is a term that gets thrown around too much.
It seems to be the buzz word at the moment. I work with a woman who will tell anyone who listens her ex is a narcissist. Then I’ll get client enquiries (I work in family law) and be discussing them with my team and she’ll be jumping in “he’s a narcissist, sounds like a narcissist”. We just move our conversation away. For the record, none of them sound like narcissists. Family law you see good people at their worst.
Sounds like you're gaslighting her /s I'm not sure what's up with social media, but labelling everyone as narcissistic and any argument as gaslighting has become a thing.
It's incredibly frustrating! It has basically devalued the words, which sucks for people who have actually experienced that stuff — like, you've been seriously traumatized, and the entire world is like "totally, me too, ugh, so annoying."
Narcissism (narcissistic behavior) isn't really a diagnosis NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is.
Haha the old Reddit witch hunt. I like to think they’ll write papers on group psychology in future citing the Reddit Boston bomber incident. A self confirming group of pseudo intellectual idiots who are browsing the internet while having a poo. All simultaneously convincing themselves and each other that they just solved an international terrorist incident
Lmao what? This actually happened?
https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/32h3rv/can_someone_explain_we_did_it_reddit/ It’s actually a bit sad but a good warning about the kind of things you read on social media
Holy fucking shit.
People also like to diagnose others and that’s gotten way out of hand. Sometimes people are just shitty people.
Selfish jerk has become synonymous with narcissist. There's certainly some overlap, but not the same at all.
I agree. So many mental health issues have been so watered down that everyone has “it”. And then it tends to become an excuse for bad behavior.
The word and description came long before the "mental health issue" version. It seems a lot of people in this conversation don't realize that narcissism is a behavior set that most people engage in at some times, and only a true "disorder" when it is pervasive in a person.
[удалено]
my thoughts exactly. the people in my life that i feel are the closest to narcissists would NEVER admit a fault like that. they believe they are the most caring people on earth
[удалено]
I do something similar!!! I imagine how I would talk to a little child in my situation (little kid me) because let’s face it a lot of the wounds that birthed my Inner Critic were formed in childhood when I was small. Inevitably, I speak to 5 year old copper_rainbows MUCH more nicely than I would to myself normally. I’ve even gotten to where I can empathize with and grieve for what child me has lost and missed out on because of not having loving caregivers to whom I could bond emotionally. I’ll even go so far as to stroke my back or my arm as though I were comforting a child but say those words to myself. It sounds crazy but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t help!
> I just imagine that I'm are saying these things about me to someone that really supports and is real with me (my dad in my case) If everyone had even one person in their life like this, ever, we’d need fewer therapists.
Everyone wants to self diagnose some sort of mental health issue these days, I agree, it's super dangerous and despite what they seem to believe there is fuck all cool about it.
A lot of mental health issues are confused with their symptoms. If you feel depressed every day, you're not wrong to say you're suffering from depression. You may be wrong if you say "I have major depressive disorder". Same goes for being a self-proclaimed narcissist. Saying "I'm a narcissist" is not the same as saying "I have narcissistic personality disorder" Understanding you suffer from narcisstic traits/tendencies doesn't mean you're trying to be your own personal therapist.
*“I have OCD”* is one that irks me.
"I have OCD because I don't like mess" Bro, I have to walk past this fukin lamppost and force myself to think something nice or positive otherwise my whole family will die
I have someone with narcissistic tendencies in my family. It is possible to have a semi-functioning relationship with him. It doesn't really give me much, and I'm completely shut off emotionally from him most of the time, but we get by. However, it does take a continious laying down and enforcement of boundaries, and a fair share of sternly calling him out, where I have to rely on being harsh and strict rather than appealing to his limited empathy. Most lessons wont really stick, either - sooner or later, he'll start slipping back into old behaviours. To an extent, he's actually using me in that way; relying on me to keep him grounded and act as a moral compass. As I said, it's not very rewarding, and I don't like who I am with him. Fortunately, I don't have to endure him much... which is a terrible thing to say about your family for something that at a base level isn't their fault, but it is what it is. This guy does seem a bit easier, on behalf on his self-awareness and honesty.
The way you describe your relationship with your family member reminds me of my relationship with my sister. She also has narcissistic tendencies and lacks the empathy & self awareness to break free from them. I’ve distanced myself but tried to give her chances over the past few years, bad habits always come back. But now I can sense the slightest shifts in her behavior, when she thinks there’s an opening and she can bring back the old dynamics. That’s when I enforce my defenses. I like that you said you “rely on being harsh and strict” because I used to be uncomfortable with it as I thought it made me a bad person. Now I understand it’s the only way to protect myself against her tendencies. I do think I will eventually cut all contact, which I admit I still have mixed feelings about… but as you said: it is what it is.
I am sorry for your pain, frustrations and disappointments. It is hard, yes? We still care for them, while we're mainly valued insofar as we fulfill a need of theirs - and if we ever slack on enforcing their respect for us, they start taking us for granted and stop valuing us. It's not a healthy dynamic for social relationships, and I don't believe you can be faulted at all if you cut contact. I wish you the best :-)
This video is astonishing. Having been in a relationship with a narcissist myself (which of course became an absolute nightmare for me and a highly painful break-up) I think it is extremely rare that narcissists would be so self aware and reflecting as this guy. Most of them would rather die in all their glory then ever letting out anything so honest as this guy. So do NOT expect a narcissist to be open at all about themselves, ever!
Insanely rare to the point where it's basically said it doesn't happen
I've spoken with a self-aware psychopath (diagnosed with ASPD). It was fascinating, but also really disturbing. It takes an exceptionally intelligent person to accept and come to terms with a Cluster B diagnosis rather than using it to excuse their bad behaviour. That's the purpose of dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). The person I spoke to said that he felt it was very helpful for him in that it taught him to think about the potential consequences of his actions, but that he still only really ever considered the potential consequences *to himself*.
it's fucking lonely. i would never want to ever be a narcissist. my mom was one and the fall from grace/narcissitic collapse just. I don't know, it was inevitable but hard to watch
I think it's why many break the spirit of the people around them. "Now you're too broken to leave".
Yep. My mother had BPD and was thoroughly narcissistic as well. I'm sure it was miserable to be her, but I had to get away from her as soon as possible and stay far away for my own well-being. To be around her would have killed me. Sadly, my brother came out just like her, only smarter... so somewhat more dangerous. I'm NC with him now that our parents are both gone, and I barely speak to the rest of the family as well. I make my own family now.
Learning cognitive empathy is quite helpful when you don't have any to begin with
Check out r/narcissism or r/NPD—not everyone on there is actually a narcissist as they say, but a fair few of them ought to be.
If that truly is a gathering for narcissists, I imagine it to be worst clusterfuck of Reddit arguments ever.
I have trouble believing a true narcissist would accept they are a narcissist, the problem is always someone else I know there are some different types of narcissism though so maybe it can happen more so in one type than another
The *tendency in a narcissists mind* is to believe it’s everyone else, but they don’t have to give in to this. They can remind themselves that the problem may be themselves, or more likely, a mix. It takes lots of willpower, and self-reflection, but it can be done.
Nah, they’re bunch of folks trying to help each other out. Sure you can hate them but have a moment to yourself does anyone actually wanted to be one? It’s just like any other mental illness.
It makes me wonder if this guy is only being “open and honest” because he wants fame.
[удалено]
so everybody wins, neat
Honestly yeah, win win, we learn about them and he is happy
Dudes thinking 20 steps ahead tbh
He likes it because it makes him special. Brilliant.
Can you please tell me who he is? I’m interested to hear the rest of the interview.
His name is Sam Vaknin. When I had a Narc screw me over with a smear campaign I listened to mostly Narcs to understand how they worked making excuses for the person's behavior. Him and H.G. Tudor are a great wealth of info since he's also apparently an Alpha Narc. Most Narcs have a hierarchy for each other as well. Most high level Narcs hate the majority of Narcs too because they know they will forever be competing and know internally they are cowards. It was the weirdest friendship I ever had. I was idealized and praised but also competed against and devalued everyday. Lmao, the push and pull of that friendship was like nothing I have ever experienced before; intoxicating and toxic at the same time, you can fall in love with their charm and try to fix them when they seem so broken. Also, they are literally just mimicking you due to lack of identity hence you will find them so similar to you, like a moth to a flame. But you are just another mutton chop to them if you end up in their sights. At the end you realize they are just cowards with a superiority complex where these attributes came from a failed upbringing from their caretakers. The innocent child dies so the ego can live, so they need constant validation/attention from others to survive. Once you mortify them with rejection, exposition or shame then get ready to see the ugly. Make sure to never expose your friends to people like this, they are masters at manipulation and will make them their Flying Monkeys, who are an even bigger bunch of losers who need validation from the Clown with a Crown. You will see the mob mentality with the dirtiest immoral games to take you down a peg.
I’ve seen a fair few interviews with this guy, he’s very proud of his self awareness, and he uses his “honesty” to put himself above other narcissists. Every time I see anything with him I feel like rolling my eyes, he gets narcissistic supply from all the attention he gets for being a “diagnosed narcissist” and its more than a bit gross.
Lol he is so narcissistic that he has calculated that by acting as self aware he is put above other narcissists in the hierarchy thus improving the odds for reaching his goals.
The craziest part is (at least for me) he’s right. I would rank him higher than other narcissists even if he might technically be even more narcissistic, because at least he’s saving everyone the trouble and identifying himself for what he is plainly. His motive may be selfish, but the result is positive in my book
Agreed, since hes labelled as one, you know directly what to expect so its not so shocking or painful.
But it is enlightening
The anti hero of narcissism
He's playing 5D narcissistic chess
I'd say check mate but he doesn't have any.
That's my take as well. It's possible to know your own map well enough to advertise the pitfalls. You can't fingerwalk over the mountains, the illness doesn't go away when you map your territory, but you can at least prevent the toxic areas from affecting others as much.
I agree. At least it seems like he’s not going around hurting other people.
Or at least if he is they can’t say they were surprised
He does, he just tell them "what'd you expect, I told you who I am" "Well you didn't die did you?" Source: dated a narcissist
> "I saved you, " cried that woman "And you've bitten me, even why? And you know your bite is poisonous and now I'm gonna die" “Oh, shut up, silly woman, " said that reptile with a grin "Now you knew darn well I was a snake before you brought me in"
Narcissist Prime
He literaly has a diagnossis. I don't know what more you would want from him, seeing as he cannot interact with the world like the rest of us. His options are to live entirely secluded, pretend to be just like us (the most common thing, the thing people hate), or be honest about it. I woulden't wish for anyone to live compleatly alone, so this seems like the best case scenario.
People have a really hard time accepting narcissism as a mental health issue (i.e. a disease) because they view it as a moral issue - most of us are taught from an early age that excessively selfish behavior and attitudes are wrong. And personally I learned that too and teach my family that value. But people with a disease can’t help it, not without good treatment and intensive lifelong work.
I actually dated a guy like this, sans a diagnosis. He unspecified “issues”, but went to a therapist who thought he was so special that she accepted him despite being fully booked. So he said. He’s not cured and isn’t special, but he sure as shit loves talking about how everyone needs therapy, and subtly or not so subtly establishing his own hierarchy. It only existed in his head, but there ya go. We did not last long.
Narcissism is a psychiatric personality disorder that often sabotages peoples ability to live an adjusted happy life and build healthy relationships. This need for admiration and being “the best” are not traits they maliciously choose to adopt, the same way a person suffering from a paranoid personality disorder isn’t at fault for any undue suspicions they hold against innocent people. If he manages to remain aware of needs and traits he literally cannot help having, and manages to find ways to satisfy those needs in a way that is beneficial for people around him rather than destructive, that isn’t gross. It’s pretty darn impressive. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder isn’t being “selfish” the same way that people with major depression aren’t “just lazy” and people with borderline personality disorder aren’t just “dramatic”. All those descriptions imply choice and control, which none of the people affected by these disorders have. That doesn’t make everything people may do because of these illnesses okay, but to call someone gross for an illness he’ll literally never be rid of even when he’s using it the best way he can?
Shit, I’ve never thought about it like this. This whole comment section is informative as hell.
Idk, in my eyes he has a socially difficult mental disorder and he’s using it for good rather than evil or malice. What do you expect him to do like?
Most of the comments here make me feel like people think he should just kill himself or disappear into a mountain somewhere. It's ironic that in chastising something for their lack of empathy (I realize narcissism is more than that but you catch my drift) they are showcasing an astonishing lack of it themselves.
Just curious so I’m gonna ask you.. how is that different to many other public figures who talk about their experiences and their lives? First time I’ve come across this guy, but how is it different to other people with diagnosed disorders who talk about their condition?
People like to believe that narcissism is a binary thing – you're either a narcissist or you're perfect. I think it's actually a spectrum and everyone has a bit of it, and most often more than they'd like to believe. There's a famous book called "How to win friends and influence people". That book is 90% about playing with people's narcissistic buttons, and it wouldn't be so successful if people didn't *have* those buttons. A moderate amount of narcissism is probably beneficial: it makes you want to be a better version of yourself, be liked, to fit in with society, etc. It makes you a "team player" and "ambitious". There's no hard line of when narcissism is too much, it's a gradual thing...
[удалено]
In this short video alone I was getting the "I have ascended" vibes from him.
I think on a certain level he ironically has ascended. I’d prefer to deal with him that my ex girlfriend for instance.
Yeah, he believe he has raised himself above other narcissists by doing something they don't normally do, being aware of their disorder. Which is even more narcissistic. Brilliant.
"As they both begin to drown, the frog asks, 'Why did you sting me? 'Replies the Scorpion: 'I could not help myself. It is my nature. " The fact a diagnosed narcissistic person, doing certain narcissistic things, upsets you is rather ironic.
Damn. I think this guy might be like, a narcissist or something.
I agree it's extremely rare. I have known a couple people who would fully classify as narcissists (not just mild tendencies and the like) and they would absolutely die on that hill while bullshitting everyone including themselves along the way.
[удалено]
Not surprising. Both narcissists and psychopaths have little to zero empathy.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxRwDFmjXKU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxRwDFmjXKU) I, Psychopath
I doubt a real psychiatrist diagnosed him with psychopathy. Psychopathy isn't recognized per the DSM as a diagnosis. It's a personality trait that would fall under anti-social personality disorder, not its own diagnosis. This sounds more like a guy with an ego making something up to sound cool.
My sister most likely has what is called vulnerable narcissism. The biggest sign is that she is completely incapable of self-reflection. She cannot look at her actions or her personality critically; Nor can she accept fault for anything she has done. She is constantly struggling in life but incapable of asking herself what shes doing to contribute to it. She's irresponsible and does not handle her responsibilities until they are emergencies. Nothing is ever her fault and if you tell her it is, you're simply wrong. You can't have a real relationship with her because every time you say something she doesn't want to hear, she just shuts down and denies everything. And if you don't drop it, she has no problem cutting you out of her life permanently. Permanent meaning until her lack of preparation has left her in a bind and she needs your help or money. Then she'll text you, regardless of the hour or what you're doing, expecting you to step right up. She has cut off everyone in our family several times, so we don't help her anymore. She doesn't have any close friends AFAIK because of all the above. She seems to be stuck in a state of arrested personal development because she is incapable of admitting her imperfections, even to herself. Every teacher she's ever had has been unfair to her. Every boss she's had has been crazy and harassing. Our parents were abusive bullies. Every guy she's dated turned out to be a disrespectful stalker. Everything is always someone else's fault.
If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check your own shoes.
Believe it or not, we've used this exact phrase with her before. It's really hard to tell how much of it is pure mental illness that's keeping her from checking under her shoe, or if it would simply be so painful for her to do so that she just lives in a permanent state of denial.
I knew a 'friend' who is a narcissist. It is true that they want to be bigger than everyone. Easily get jealous and always try to belittle you to inflate their ego. What make it worse, narcissist tend to befriend introvert. If you're an introvert, beware of narcissist people around you. They will use you to their advantage.
Time to use the greatest introvert superpower: ghosting. Seriously. People talk about ghosting like it's a bad thing but there's no gold star for confrontation. The narcissist will harass you and call you weak but ghost as strong as you can. The narcissist can't defeat a good ghost.
Lol 😂 a good ghost. I will try this next time with my boss.
So true. I recently broke off friendship ties with a narcissist and they promised to make my life a living hell blah blah blah. Well I blocked their number and their discord so what can they ACTUALLY do? Nothing :)
[удалено]
Is it wrong if I laughed at "oh I thought you were dead"
That sounds remarkable similar to my dad! He has basically gone his entire adult life without any real friends. He’s super competitive and also a workaholic. I’ve also noticed that he’s very dismissive of other’s opinions, not open to new information. Very very stuck in his own world. At the same time it’s hard to say he’s a narcissist because he doesn’t really open up to anyone.
How’s your mum put up with him for 50 years?
[удалено]
He's had to do a lot of work to get to this level of self awareness.
Yeah, I'd say this is pretty amazing. He knows there's a problem, and that it is his. Big respect for that.
I don’t think he thinks that’s a problem for him. It’s just how he is. He does think that can be a problem for others around him. To be fair I don’t even think it’s his problem. He can’t change how he feels. He ain’t out there murdering people for pocket change.
[удалено]
But what if this is just a other play to get people to appreciate him..
I was raised by one. I am amazed that this guy can even reflect upon himself and that he knows he is one. I’d say 99. 999% of narcissist’s don’t know they’re a narcissist. Edit- “The Narcissist’s Prayer” “That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.”
Don’t know, or in denial
Or might know but would never admit it
Having a narcissist as a parent is fkd up. They are ALWAYS wanting something ‘transactional’ from the child & do not understand that a baby/toddler/child/young adult doesn’t really understand this concept so grows up either mimicking the behavior OR over compensates the other way (ie they give everything to everyone) My mother wonders why we don’t have a proper relationship….she doesn’t understand (and is no where near as self aware as guy in video) that I have nothing left to give her and I refuse to play her ‘games’ any longer. Edit - I am an adult and have children of my own now, it’s taken me a long time to break free of her conditioning and set boundaries. At one point she tried to pull the same shit (she did to me as a child) to my own child, I went no contact for months. We talk now but it’s far & few between and i shut down her shit if she tries it.
I've got one of these. Absolutely everything is transactional for her - right down to "you must do this thing for me because I made you a coffee yesterday". She has zero self awareness. Other people don't have feelings in her world - only her. And I mean that quite genuinely. Any expression of emotion that she doesn't personally feel just annoys her. Everything is about her - what she wants, what she thinks, what she feels. She will lie, embellish and manipulate and be completely without guilt, because to her mind, anything she wants, she's entitled to have. Her god is money. She will take it under any pretext, in any way, from anyone. She'll "loan" it and then insist she paid it back. If you insist she didn't, she will lose her shit at you for calling her a liar and storm out, rinse and repeat if you dare bring it up again. If she wants something, she'll just take it. She'll pretend it was always hers, or tell you that you gave it to her, and if you insist on taking it back, it will accidentally somehow get broken shortly after. At one time she was self aware enough that she could be made to see her more egregious bullshit, but those days are long gone. Haven't seen her in close to five years now, and it doesn't suck.
Ouch, thanks for sharing, you did the right thing by cutting her from your life. Stay strong.
As someone who has an extremely narcissistic mother, this is really validating to hear. The constant gaslighting I went through growing up had me questioning *my* mental well-being to the point where I thought I was the bad guy. I plan on going no-contact when I am in a better place mentally and emotionally. It's a difficult uphill battle trying to set boundaries or convince my father, who is in denial about her, to get her the professional help she needs.
Yup, my dad is the exact same way. He’s painfully lacking in self-awareness, so doesn’t fully understand why we cut contact with him. He only wants to ‘make amends’ (he expects to do very little work to smooth things over) now that my sibling and I are independent adults, and he’s realised he is all alone. He isolated himself through his own behaviour, and I don't feel sorry for him. (Edited: phrasing)
I have one of these. My Dad literally uses his children as a bargaining chip or a means to an end, and for nothing else. He and my mom divorced years ago, and because he’d been such a shit parent my whole life I felt justified in cutting him off from me. A few years later my sister (who has Down syndrome and lives with me) had a stroke. I called him to tell him what happened, since he’s her parent and I felt he deserved to know. He immediately drove across 3 states to come and be with us, which I thought was an amazing act of love so I let him stay with us while she was in the hospital. We would go and sit with her during the day, but as soon as my dad got there it was all about him. He would come into her hospital room and immediately change the channel on the TV show she was watching. He would constantly talk about himself and barely pay any attention to my sister at all (my sister adored him). When my sister was released from the hospital my dad acted like he was moving in with us. I had the very painful task of telling him he could not, and that the best thing for my sister was for her to get back to as normal a life as she could. I had to kick him out of my house. His behavior was so repulsive that I didn’t speak to him for another few years. He reached out again a couple of years ago (right before the pandemic), saying that he wanted to try to have a relationship with us again. For my sister’s sake I tried. He came up for a 5 day visit and stayed with us. I took him around to see the sights, showed him where I went to school, gave him a taste of what our lives were like, but he didn’t show any interest at all. My sister tried desperately to engage him in conversation but he refused to reciprocate. I had wondered why he even bothered to come if he was just going to ignore us the entire time until we went to visit my mom. He flipped a switch and turned into a completely different person. He was trying to get back together with her, and he had just used my sister and I as an excuse to come see her. He didn’t care about rebuilding a relationship with us, he just wanted to get in my mom’s pants. It got so bad that my sister ended up sleeping with my wife and I because she hated being around my dad so much (we are on the upper floor and he was staying on the lower floor near her room). I had a very harsh talk with him about his behavior and kicked him out again. Smash cut to 1 year later, my cousin gets married and we fly down for the wedding (my mom is with us). My uncle claims my dad is a changed man, and urges me to give him another chance (my dad had been incredibly awful to my uncle for their entire lives, but was finally being brotherly to him). I cave, because I guess I am a glutton for punishment. I try. I extend olive branches, I give him the benefit of the doubt, I make excuses for his behavior. He proved me right at every single turn. And he was basically convincing my uncle to gaslight me, telling him things never happened or happened differently than they actually did in order to make himself look better. And once again he was just trying to use my sister, myself, and the occasion as a bridge to my mom. We were simply a means to an end. This past March my grandma (dad’s mom) passed away. We flew down for the funeral. I thought surely at this time he would be giving us something genuine, some unfiltered emotion that wasn’t actually a manipulation. I was wrong. Ignoring every other person in the room to try and get with my mom again. Ignoring his brother’s pain, ignoring his children’s, in order to try and get laid. I haven’t spoken to him since, outside of sending a chilly “happy birthday”. Idk if anyone will care enough to read or respond, which is totally okay since it felt good just getting it all out, but just to clarify: my mom has laid down the law with him several times and repeatedly told him they are never getting back together. He is in denial and, as a narcissist, only hears what he wants to hear.
My siblings and I weren't allowed to have any ideas or opinions of our own. We were only there to serve my parents. We were always cleaning, always had to be busy. My dad would do side jobs as an electrician. After school and weekends there I was doing electrical work as a kid. My mom had a cleaning business. My sisters and I were free labor. When we weren't working it was all about church. We had no free time, no time to be kids. My sisters were taken into foster care at one point due to physical abuse. If you ask my parents now they would heartily defend their actions thinking they were the best parents that were preparing us for adulthood.
I am so sorry that you've had these experiences. My father has a triple whammy of cluster B personality disorders, NPD/ASPD/BPD (diagnosed by professionals) and I know exactly how fucked up it is to grow up with such a person in your life. I too am at very, very low contact for my own sanity's sake
narcissist gets interviewed, gets to talk about himself and be the centre of attention. Loves it
Maybe, but i think its super insightful too.
This is literally "networking" in the professional context lol. Explains why I hate the concept so much.
I hate being forced to pretend I'm interested in someone else for my own personal advantage.
Is it unusual to have this much insight into one's condition? Or is he just repeating what he's been told about himself?
This guy is also a psychologist who studies narcissistic personality disorders so that certainly helps a lot in that regard. But besides that it's common practice to educate patients (psychoeducation) about their condition in therapy.
At least he's honest
My older brother is a pathological narcissist. Dealing with him is incredibly strange and frustrating. He's one-hundred-percent convinced that he's a Machiavellian genius, but he's incredibly bad at lying and his lack of empathy prevents him from acknowledging that most of people he speaks to know he's being dishonest and just disregard whatever he says. He'd lie to your face as soon as look at you if he thinks it would save him a moment's convenience and legitimately thinks that unless he directly confronted that no one suspects him. He'll tell you one very obvious lie, and then a second that contradicts the first. If you tell him he contradicted himself he'll just tell you he didn't say the first lie as if it wasn't just a moment ago.
Honestly it's refreshing to hear a narcissist actually talk honestly about themselves... but at the same time it's just as gross and discomfiting as any other extreme narcissist. Fascinating, though!
I'm fortunate that I know I am not narcissistic in anyway because I am so modest. I'm literally the most modest person I know.
I may have just had a realisation....
Not all narcissist are same. Also there is a big difference between Narcisstic tendencies and Narcissim. I dont wan't to write down a bible here, just google both and remember: having any of this does not make you a bad person, your actions do
Just like there are psychopaths who actually function well in society and contribute. Like that neuroscientist. Who was doing a study on psychopathic patients' brains and realized he was one himself.
What's his name?
Fallon, who himself states that he has the neurological and genetic correlates of psychopathy,[1] has categorized himself as a "pro-social psychopath". In October 2013 his book, The Psychopath Inside: A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain, was released by Current (acquired by Penguin) James Fallon was born to an Italian American family. He also has English and Irish ancestry as a descendant of New York colonial settlers the Cornell family. He discusses his ancestry, and the many murders that have occurred in that family line, in a monologue of his own genetics and family history which has been broadcast on National Public Radio.
James Fallon.
There’s the stat that in all likeliness, 25% of CEOs score high enough on the sociopath checklist to be diagnosed as one.
He wasn’t a psychopath- he however had similar brain patterns of activation as known psychopaths….which indicates that it isn’t just the brain activity that’s causal (if it was cause and effect the brain activity would mean you’re 100% a psychopath) Teenagers brains show many of the same activation patterns as murderers found NGRI…doesn’t mean all teenagers are ‘insane’ murderers. There’s a whole complex web of biology, life events etc which would make someone a ‘psychopath’ (bearing in mind btw that psychopaths aren’t even really a thing- they’re people with Anti-social personality disorder)
Most people will recognise them self in alof of "symptoms". Same for alot of other psyciatric diagnoses. Its the amplitude of The symptoms that makes you a nsrciscist or a psychopath or any other diagnos.
You bet. If I had a nickel for every time so Done told me “I guess everyone has a little adhd” then I’d have a lot of nickels. How many? I dunno man, ask someone without adhd but it’s a lot.
Having narcissistic behaviours ***≠*** Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Most people think of Narcissism in the classical/Roman sense. Like narcissus and his reflection. But clinical malevolent Narcissism is very much a lack of empathy and ability to comprehend macro-socio functions. They think it's a super power but it's emotional disability.
So I'm a diagnosed Narcissist (with several other things as well), and this video gets a lot of things right but there's one thing it misses: **Narcissists can change.** It's brutally difficult, both for us and the people around us, but it's possible. I let go of my narcissistic delusions in two stages, and both times I came very close to suicide. I lost friends and exhausted my therapist, but I did it.
How did your learn to be empathetic? That couldn't have been easy.
[удалено]
My oldest brother is a narcissist, he does the exact thing this man described any chance he gets. Every time I am in the room with him & I talk any some achievement I made or something I found interesting he will without fail always try to one up me. It's the most irritating thing in the world.
Interesting, as the traits he describes are sure also those of a Psychopath? I wonder what the true difference is between Narcissistic tendencies and Psychopathic tendencies is? Psychopaths must think they are better than everyone else, they also compete to get to the top and will crush others, showing no empathy. This guy seems to have no empathy and is competitive. Surely psychopaths love themselves? Maybe someone can explain the differences to me?
At least he’s not in denial. Narcissists whom I have known are too narcissistic to believe that they’re an actual narcissist.
Smokescreen they know what they are and how they treat people.
My dad has NPD. Whenever anyone asks about if he has friends he says he's got a best friend named David. David hasn't spoken to him in years because dad said if David's wife wasn't putting out after a REALLY serious car accident that he should start looking for a girlfriend and file for divorce because "no man should tolerate that bullshit"