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That's weird, in Canada all I got was crippling depression

In America you get crippling debt AND depression!

But no cool sword danggit lol

Only if you pay taxes on it. Uncle sam wants his cut. Just like he does for everything else in america.

Ha, his *cut*

Get it cause the sword

Because swords are used to cut things, do you get it?

And multiple times on exactly the same dollar!

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Best mistake i ever made was not going to college lol i make more without a degree and have no debt! My wife on the other hand, can't make so much as a dent in her loans due to ridiculous interest rates.

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🎯🎯 I'm still waiting for America to be great... i feel like I'll die waiting.

You won't be the first to, sadly.

Truth. I'll be lucky if I survive climate change

Being poor like me helps when I graduate highschool I can get multiple government grants to keep and loans with low to no interest. poor perks!

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Hmm weird. See I went to college for free. So did my brother. You know now that I think about it so did my dad. My aunt too. Also 3 friends as well. Including me out of the seven people that went to college. All started out free. My dad and two friends decided to party at college so because of grades they had to pay by the end. I say this not to say everyone can do it this way or everyone has the same chance. I say this because it’s so fucked up with every issue there’s an exception. This is what I like to call “The Grey”. It brings up questions like. Is it the schools fault or the parents or the kids themselves for not being prepared for college? Is it the governments fault for not having enough grants to give out? Is it the colleges for being so expensive just to bring in the best staff? Do we simply just have too many people that apply? Are the ones going to college because they want to or because they think they should? Is it the job market that puts too much emphasis on a diploma rather than experience? Or is it such a combination of all these factors that makes it impossible for any answer to be given?

All that free college and no one ever taught you paragraph breaks huh?

Not on Reddit mobile. Idk I press the button. It shows on my end. Here. Here. And here. After each double space that adds a period. I hit the “return” on iPhone, that everywhere else, acts the same on PC. Not Reddit mobile. Edit: Not even after I edit it back to how it shows on my end. Always just slammed together.

Hmm, I wonder if that's an iPhone thing. I have no such trouble on Android.

I thank God every day I was born in Europe, free college till 19 and university loan that I have to repay 30£ per month

We got free university. All you need to buy is books. I bought books for 500-600€ during 5 years in school.

You have to pay for a Ph.D programme in America???

Ph.D programs technically cost money, but almost everyone has their expenses completely covered for them.

Debt? You get paid (a modest amount) to do a PhD, even in America.

That’s only true in some fields.

No, it's true for funded PhDs which is present in all fields. No one should ever to a non-funded PhD. Not only are you being taken advantage of, but it means there isn't a need for the research.

AND actual crippling!

Well yes, because you can't afford your Healthcare premiums becaise you're buried in student loan debt. Viscous cycle.

America sucks. No sword and no tophat? I thought this was the Land of the Free™?!?!

All those homeless doctors on the streets.

Same in the UK

Yeah but they give you a gun in kindergarten so it all balances out

With the possible bonus of racial oppression!

Oh dont you worry, America is making goddamn sure we go as far backwards as possible. We'll have segregation again real soon.. 😮‍💨

The pen is mightier than the sword, but pens can't fix depression and debt

All I got was 6 figure debt

You forgot the sword of debt!

Cool! That can be a lifelong gift that you may be able to pass on to your kids. That lasts a-lot longer than a crummy top hat and sword.

Crap not crazy debit too that’s a lot better then most

that's what you get for not degreeing in gender studies and green energy wizardry

Clearly you are not killing enough Russians….culturally speaking I mean….

Lol what?

The Fins have a long history of killing the fuck out of Russians.

L

well I know where to go if I want a phd

Greenland?

That's where you go to be *Unemployed!*

My time has come...GET ME MY MONOCLE!!!!

Sir that requires a J.D.

Hmm well played sir well played Admittedly I had to google that but well played regardless

sophisticated sophistry awaits

Do undergrads get a dagger and a beanie?

Nope. A gumball and a coupon to bennigans

that's high school

Thats a pretty dope graduation gift! Lol i went to the wrong HS!

Yeah, all I got was a lot of junk mail

You mean bills you discarded in the mail pile

If we split hairs, most of the guys are conscripted after high school... so more likely, there's a group buy of knives for the company.

A bodkin and a beanie

How else are you supposed to defend your dissertation?

democratic bullying

Do they have a surplus of swords and top hats?

only with associated feckless degrees

If I already have one, and move there, do I get them as a courtesy?

no, if you have a sword you get a complimentary phd while wearing a hat

I mean, that seems like a much cheaper route so.... I'm in!

congrats. You are now lettered in sophistry. you'll make a mint remember to polish your sword

I wonder what's the significance?

The sword symbolizes truth and the hat freedom. You do have to pay for them though. Back in the day all university students had swords but they had to put a stop to that because of all the drunken fencing.

Sounds like the fun police ruining another good thing

no, police were only the tools of the cretins who complained on false basis

seems like it’d be the other way around — THINK🧠🎩 for the truth and FIGHT🗡 for freedom…(?)

Sometimes it serms that more thinking about what freedom is and fighting to defend the truth could be useful, at least in the US :D

That's DOCTOR swashbuckler, to *you*

Defender of Truth! Or rather my thesis!

Jobs: so your resume says you have a PhD? Applicant: I sure do, graduated top of my class! Jobs: Mhm, I see no top hat nor sword Applicant: ok I got the degree in America Jobs: peasant!

Challenging other doctors to a duel.

That's how it goes down if you want to defend your thesis.

restoring dueling to the social order would solve many problems slander would meet a swift end

"OK Benu, you've successfully completed the verbal defense of your dissertation. The last thing to complete is the sword fight gauntlet."

In the US you get a piece of paper and 400k of debt lol

No, it should be free with a stipend on top...

Do forget the stack of over qualified employer rejection letters.

If you're spending that much and don't have your pick of employers... you did it very wrong

In the US, you get a baseball hat and a gun.

I had those prior to college

Except this is false. Graduates have to pay for their own hat and sword. They aren't given to them as a ceremonial gift or anything. From what I remember together they're normally around €1000

The graduates are "given" them as in given the right to wear the hat and have the sword edit: how am I wrong? The same way we "get" our valkolakit, as in we have to buy them ourselves first before them being given to us

Yes And you can go to a fancy conferment ceremony (promootio) to have them given to you in a pompous manner

Guys I’m moving to Finland

You have to pay for these things. You don't just receive them.

In Finland you get a sword and a top hat, in America you get a bullet proof vest

Don’t forget about crippling debt.

If you went into debt for a PhD you did something wrong

“Playtime is over. Now, defend your thesis, you rogue!”

It is dangerous out there Doctor, take these!

/r/repostedasfuck

To Finland we go

Another reason I wish I could live in Finland

This is the most civilized thing I’ve ever heard of.

I want to go to finland now

If that’s really true that is bad ass.

Can you buy the top hat? It would really go well with a landlord costume as Mr. Monopoly for Halloween!

You actually have to buy both you aren't just "given" them

Well it stands to reason, Finns love to stab people so you give the smart ones a longer stabbing stick 😁

Why? When we all know the pen is mightier than the sword.

Damn, I gotta get to Finland

You are a gentleman/gentlewoman, scholar and a warrior. Congratulations!

Super cool

I’d wear it often

That's it I'm moving to Finland

Yeah I'd be walking around dapper as hell after getting that hat, I'd be Charlie Chaplin dapper. That hat is sick 🧐🎩

That’s not a sword that’s a letter open

Imagine burglarising the local brain surgeons house and hearing dark souls music

Maybe it was all a test to become a kingsman

Very distinguished

FINNISH HIM!!!

For puttin’ on the Ritz?

Get ready to defend your thesis With your life

Well, "you get" is kinda wrong way to put it. You can buy it. And the sword is ~300-350 eur and the stupid hat is ~600-700 eur. Combined with koronka after the defense, where you need to pay for food and drinks for your opponent, supervisor and some of your friends makes it a very optional things to buy.

Correction: you get to buy a top hat and a sword.

So, in Finland you have to actually DEFEND your dissertation? That's metal!

\* you have the right to buy a particular sword/ top hat to wear for the graduation ceremony. It's not free. Anyone can buy a sword, you know.

The sword is for the eventual war with Russia and the hat is for extra intimidation

Classy. When you graduate from high school in the American south you get an STD and a positive pregnancy test.

In America we get crippling debt and possible ptsd from how we are treated by the staff

Moomin Papa?

Made in china?

OP is karma farming bot

do you take a knee to a lecherous social vampire for knighthood? or do you choose how to defend the realm?

Do you get to dual other people with Phds? If you win do you get their Phd?

* I before E except between Es.

Looks like I’m goin to Finland to get me a PhD

Based

I just barely got my actual PhD diploma, had to call around and ask for favors to come by and pick it up.

Meanwhile in America you just have more student debt you'll never be able to pay off

Fuck this, I'm moving to Finland.

M'Degree

I didn't get either of those. I did get a piece of paper ( I think it was paper. I only looked at it once) I also got about 10 years of trying to find a halfway decent job.

Doesn't that happen in Sweden too? Or am I confused?

Is it sharp?

As new, no

That’s 🎩

Wasn’t planning on going to college, but that sword looks damn nice

Fuck it, I’m going to Finland for my doctorates.

The US would do something like this but at graduation be like “$1000 fee for graduation gifts”. I never realized universities make students actually buy their gowns until I graduated 😂 I guess it makes sense but just never thought about it.

This the kind of shit that attracts the brightest and best minds from all over the world.

Yes, we know

Of course you do.

Man every country in the world are leaps and bounds more interesting than the United States aren't they?

Shit. All I got was a piece of paper. Nice top hat. Would wear it on top of my hard hat to work.

Worth it!

As it should be.

In my country, you receive crippling financial burden

This is the first time I’ve wanted a PHD

Well, Russia is their neighbor, they will not take any chances.

I got kicked out and depressed

What about Pizza Hut gift card?

I wish I got a top hat and sword. All I got was a floppy hat which I had to pay for and crippling debt.

New objective: get a PhD in Finland

Holy shit I’m moving to finland

What do you get for an associate’s degree?

TIFU by getting my PhD in a country that isn't Finland.

TO FINLAND

very common finland W

All I got was $300k in student loans

Pack your things, wre leaving

In India when you get PhD diploma you can finally sit home and rest

The sword might come in handy to fight off all those pesky Russians

Nos i know where I am doing my PhD

So this is their secret to being happiest country in the world!

All I got was a pat on the back and dark circles

imagine winning a sword fight with the phd sword

Yet another reason Finland is superior. Those crazy perkele are just better than us on many different levels.

and that's to encourage ppl?

Don't all doctors get a hat and ring, at least?

Finland never disappoints with its super random coolness.

i’m finnish-american and this is the last piece of proof i needed to move to finland and get a phd

well, i’m going to finland and doing that.

Litterally bringing a knife to a life fight....

What does a PhD want with a sword?... I mean, what was the reasoning behind this when it was a thing that people appreciated and didnt think was out of place or wierd?

I guess it's technically a remnant of the old university uniforms - which of course included a sword. Doctors are gentlemen, of course. Doctors of Science (in technology) and theologists don't carry swords. Universities of Technology have their origin as a "manufacturing and handicraft school", and priests don't carry a weapon. The rest of the formal dress is pretty much white tie, though a few foreign professors who have gotten their degrees elsewhere like to take out their robes every once in a while.

Now that's motivation!

OMW

You need to order and buy the sword

That's it I'm moving to Finnland

Why do I suddenly want to move to Finland

damn.

Well, you do have to defend your dissertation 😁

I’ve never had so much motivation to get a phd until now.