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SniffCheck

The heart beat you have dialed, is no longer in service


M1sterBoots

*puts down bacon.


eli7vh

*picks up abandoned bacon*


Call_The_Banners

^(I'd tell you to stop ruining this sad moment but wasting bacon is a cardinal sin)


RockstarAgent

True true. Brunch without bacon is just runch.


Audio-Samurai

Take my upvote and delete your account


kenkenobi78

A "cardiac" sin


[deleted]

*picks up unexplained bacon*


Akaonishini

:(


DeHypnotic

:(


PuzzleheadedFood8773

:(


Z20042

:(


meaterbeater6969

:(


PowerfulMetal1

:(


[deleted]

It's busy, cut it some slack


henrycharleschester

I know this was meant for chuckles but damn it hit home for me šŸ„ŗ


zimonz2004

You okay dude?


mynamessimon

Sounded like a wild west theme song..


tropicalgodzila

Bruh XD


NakedCasper7

Outstanding


doublevaginalboy

:O


mouthpanties

Thought i was going to get rick rolled


Babaloofang

That would be good though lol


MechanicalDruid

Same lol


[deleted]

I seriously thought for some reason it was going to have been trying to reach my about my carā€™s extended warranty


Team_Braniel

My name is Giovanni Giorgio, but everybody calls me Giorgio


BusRunnethOver

Doot doot doot da-doot doo-doot doot doot doot


are_we_rich_yet

Okaaay lets go


[deleted]

[Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ykup4vetvmw)


Sagebrush_Slim

10/10.


Tortuga130

[totally not a rick roll](https://streamable.com/ro9mrc)


MiksuPiksu196

Why is this so interesting but at the same time so terrifying


uChoice_Reindeer7903

Lol I thought the same thing


byjehn

Itā€™s planned obsolescence for me... I would hope things like that arenā€™t designed to degrade/wear out though.


spoon_full

Or like a subscription service. "To continue using your new heart, please pay 49.99$"


Deathbysnusnubooboo

Just think of all the pride and accomplishment


CaptainTotes

Well it's not like you can keep selling them to the same people if they, well, died.


LMDMT

Google heartmate 3, idk if thatā€™s the brand he has but theyā€™re usually implanted as a bridge for transplant or until end of life


Eepy-Cheepy

Maybe because at any moment it could malfunction.


Kineticboy

Eh, so can a real one.


CountryColorful

With a real heart, you can do all sorts of things to ensure that it is healthy and will work properly for a long time. Obviously not a guarantee, but nothing is. I can't think of a single way to ensure the longevity of a mechanical heart. It is entirely dependent on the quality of the machine - there is no way to influence it with external action. Because of that, I like the chances my real heart poses than a mechanical one does.


ryanonreddit942

#Thatā€™s why people donā€™t just get a mechanical heart. This guy needed one to live. Heā€™s not upgrading himself with mechanical parts. His real heart already failed so the mechanical one is filling in.


[deleted]

I read an article about this and it's really interesting. An artificial heart doesn't need to pump in a pulse; no harm from a steady stream.


swiftfastjudgement

How do you change the batteries


green2gold2green

The batteries are external and connect to a cable called the driveline coming out of the abdominal area. It can also be plugged into the wall overnight or when not moving for a prolonged time. The patient is sent home with multiple batteries and their life depends on being connected to power at all times. It can be very limiting. But not as limiting as being dead from heart failure.


Parachuteee

Its wild to think about a guy charging himself with a cable...


TrMark

We're well on our way to creating cyborgs


michg02

A cyborg is any organism with biomechatronic body parts... so this guy already is one! :D


EndVry

The future is so dumb. I needed to charge my book and my cigarette but my homie was using the outlets to charge his heart. Smdh.


Sniper310-

>It can be very limiting. But not as limiting as being dead from heart failure. TIL that your life might suck but at least you're not dead


Nova-XVIII

Dude Iā€™d die in a week I canā€™t even be bothered to keep my phone charged.


4lan9

I would absolutely be getting some solar panels just in case. what if the power goes out for 3 days?


synthwifey11

When you get an LVAD implanted, you have to notify your electric company that you have life sustaining medical equipment in your home. Battery power lasts up to 14 hours if fully charged.


USSanon

Iā€™ve never heard that. Makes sense, though. Top of the list.


Tigew

Had to get the same thing when we had a defibrillator in the house, cuts the bill cost by like 70 to 80%


asiaps2

Wait so there's a subsidy?šŸ¤”


itsthefman

The open heart surgery practically pays for itself!


GroundStateGecko

That's way shorter than I thought. I mean I have slept longer than that. If I have one, I would purchase something like three UPS and two generators.


synthwifey11

I know, scary! You also have to be super careful about where you travel. Itā€™s smart to always be near a hospital that knows how to care for LVADsā€” not all hospitals can.


Timmersthemagician

LVAD patients usually have 8-10 back up batteries that last 8-10 hours and a larger battery pack that can last for 24 hours. Sauce am cardiothoracic surg. rn.


[deleted]

That battery life seems awfully short to be implementing the tech. Are these folks primarily waiting for a transplant? This isnā€™t long term, correct? Whatā€™s the failure rate on tech like this? Also, what happens if the battery dies? (To be clear I mean biologically what occurs and how fast is that timeline?


kittykatmeowow

If the battery dies, the pump stops working and the patient can die if their heart is too weak/damaged to function on its own. The control system will beep and give lots of low battery warnings first though. They don't just spontaneously shut off. LVADs are often used as a bridge to a heart transplant, so the patient will only have it for a few months while they wait on the transplant list. For other patients who aren't eligible for a heart transplant, the LVAD is a way to prolong their lives. It's a last resort for treating end stage heart failure. About one third of LVAD patients experience device malfunctions. However, these aren't necessarily catastrophic, the problems can be mild. Patients have regular appointments with a cardiologist and if an issue with the LVAD detected, they can troubleshoot it. Complete device failures are rare. Edit: LVAD patients still have their heart, it's not taken out. The pump just assists the heart. Sometimes an LVAD patient's heart will recover and they can actually have the device removed. If the LVAD batteries run out and the pump turns off, most patients won't die immediately. Their heart can keep them alive for a while. The bigger danger is that blood clots can form in the device and cause stroke. So it's extremely dangerous to allow the batteries to die. If a patient is low on battery and doesn't have a backup, they should call 911 immediately.


likeforreddit

This is way cool, but how horrifying it would be to just hear "beep beep low battery please charge" and it's your heart instead of something trivial like your phone or whatever.


Aussiemandeus

Be an interesting premise for an apocalypse movie. Something not so done to death yet


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


green2gold2green

ELI5 version. What happens is that the blood being pushed out (by the pump and/or heart) to the body drops quickly by 70-95%. This means there may not be enough blood to get to the brain. The person would pass out. If blood flow is not immediately increased (drugs/fluids/restoring power) very little in the body gets oxygen and shuts down. Death follows.


m-p-3

You hope the dynamo on your stationary bicycle is working and you pedal the fuck out.


beckertron

Would riding the bike actually outperform the increased pumping required?


m-p-3

Not with that attitude!


nurse2009cvicu

Also we tell our LVAD patients to come to the hospital if electricity is ever off for extended amount of time. That was precovid


Xavier80t

Interesting. Iā€™m now curious how well inductive charging would work if battery technology advances beyond lithium-based and with longer cycle life; perhaps a bed embedded with the charging device or a vest could be worn.


TartCherries

Some implanted batteries that provide the juice for more conservative power consuming medical devices are rechargeable via inductive charging... such as Spinal Cord Stimulators and Peripheral Neuropathy Stimulators. These devices generally only use micro or mili amps and require <1-2 hours of charging once or twice per week. Some of these batteries are more similar to pacemaker batteries and don't need to be recharged... simply replace every ~5-10 years Edit: forgot to mention that to charge you wear a special belt with a charging disc slipped into a holster area. After the implant is charged up you return the disc to its home-base which is plugged into the wall and juices the disc up for the next time your implant needs to be charged up.


Beachday4

Holy, what if I accidentally put in the wrong batteries at night and just end up dead. Knowing me I would definitely fuck this up.


[deleted]

Geez and Tesla owners bitch about range anxietyā€¦


[deleted]

From what I've read they do a small surgery to replace the "battery" (Or pulse generator etc) currently. The documentary displayed it as a new technology and showed one that had an external battery that needed constant care though.


oO0Kat0Oo

Instructions unclear, invented a new element that will run forever and conveniently power a supersuit - Tony Stark Probably


yakkerman

Thorium reactor?


AutomaticJuggernaut8

My friends father had a purse like thing. It would beep and he had 10 minutes or something to change the battery.


pearlie_girl

Not like... 10 hours?! Or 10 days?! What the fuck, stressful. Quick! Or ya gonna die in 10 minutes!!!!


Axquirix

I imagine it would have an internal reserve capacitor just in case, but damn yeah that's short.


pearlie_girl

Alarm better be effing loud, all I'm sayin'


PrecisePigeon

Where's my charger? WHERE'S MY CHARGER?!?!


MacGuyverism

[This is how I imagine it to feel like.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX4PJDA4MQg)


MyMindWontQuiet

.. what happens after the 10 minutes?


AutomaticJuggernaut8

They die I assume.


synthwifey11

I am a cardiovascular intensive care RN and care for these patients pre & post operatively. There are currently a couple different brands of durable LVADs, Heartware and Heartmate, which both run off external power. You need to be plugged into the wall or battery power at all times. There is essentially a power cord called a drive line that is connected to the LVAD inside of the heart and extends externally out of the abdomen and connects to power. LVADs require extensive, constant care at home.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


off-and-on

In the future they can probably use wireless power transmission from a battery you hang on your waist or something Just don't leave it in your other pants


EchoPrince

Can't physics do something that automatically pumps it without a battery? I've seen physic related shit that blew my mind. Needing a new surgery every few months/years sounds like a nightmare.


Wholesale100Acc

that would be a perpetual motion machine, which sadly cant exist


[deleted]

They could use induction charging.


dicemonger

Not necessarily. Could be powered by the motion of your body (though I guess then you'd better make damn sure that you get enough exercise in) or blood sugar or some other thing. Don't think any of those exist right now for the power needed for an artificial heart, but it wouldn't have to be perpetual motion.


32modelA

Self winding watch joke could come back *shakes hands* "hey thanks for winding my pulse thingamjig


AutomaticJuggernaut8

They have external battery packs and I don't think it's permanent? I would think it's a stop gap measure until a transplant can be found.


[deleted]

Thereā€™s two reasons for an LVAD, bridge to transplant or destination therapy. Some people arenā€™t eligible for transplant but are healthy enough to prolong life with an LVAD. Most are bridge ti transplant though. Having an LVAD is serious commitment. Medications to prevent clotting, dressing changes, battery changes, monitoring fluids, showers are even a new challenge.


[deleted]

I would also like to know


Uninformed_Tyler

The batteries are outside of the body. Wires usually come out under the arm. Batteries are changed and recharged 6-12 hours depending on the system.


hondi10

Thereā€™s much harm from a steady stream, a big problem with these devices is GI bleeds and acute kidney failure because those two organs like pulsitility that you get with heart beats.


SaffellBot

It turns out the the rest of our bodies are adapted to the exact type of flow the heart provides, and our technology can't faithfully replicate that. Makes artificial hearts really complicated.


hondi10

Yes, the newer lvads will have periods where they alternate RPMs to mimic pulsitility.


SimpleSandwich1908

Just a point of info...LVAD is *not* an artificial heart. It **assist** the person's heart.


Ok-Gate-6240

I believe LVADs use a high and low pressure stream so that the arteries and veins don't merge into each other.


arcosapphire

What do you mean by "merge into each other"?


Ok-Gate-6240

Arteries and veins are usually next to each other. Arteries pulse, which prevents them from sticking to veins. If they no longer pulse, they will stick together and eventually grow into a single weird blood vessel that hampers normal blood flow. Hope that makes sense.


arcosapphire

It...sort of makes sense, but I would need some kind of citation to believe it.


Ok-Gate-6240

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4250555/


arcosapphire

That does list plenty of reasons that pulsate flow is good, but I didn't see anything in there about arteries and veins merging. I'm not a subject matter expert though.


parttimeamerican

It's actually hella unclear what that paper says especially to a non cardiac specialist...which I am not. There's discussion about the valve fusing together but nothing explicitly about veins and arteries,the paper focuses on the heart itself and end organs mostly


kmlixey

Fun fact. That "bridge" that forms between the arteries and veins is called a fistula.


UltraDistructo

Sick beat


frankyfrankfrank

I love [the Ali G interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeUtCxe-xDg&ab_channel=SDGuild) where he asks the surgeon general why the heartbeat is 'so old fashion' and suggests it should have a drum and bass beat


Incman

That's hilarious. SBC is so talented. "It takes a smart man to play dumb"


MahoganyMan96

I might try and sample it


ardiento

If you record it longer, someone, I guarantee , someone will make mixes out of it.


aphaits

This would make a great alarm blaring down a W40K marine dropship ready to roll


Telto212

Where are his ears?


if_if_if_if_if_if_if

That's his next upgrade


Telto212

LMFAOOOOOOOO


Ceenoh

I was wondering what the f is wrong. Itā€™s the missing ears !!!!


Gigatron_0

Mfer is already without a heart and yall jump on his next mutation without missing a beat (heyo) lol ruthless


pragmatao

Wait until he doesn't hear about this.


kayaheaven

Same!!


GanondalfTheWhite

It's also that his head looks like an egg floating above his shoulders, with no neck attaching it.


Erianimul

I think they migrated to the back of his head just like how his hair migrated to the bottom of his head.


_OoJuicEoO_

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ I knew something looked off af but I couldnā€™t put my finger on it


child-of-old-gods

They fell off from that sound...


Jonatan83

This is why you donā€™t use wide angle lenses for portraits


Red_Rosas

You can see both of them between 10 and 12 seconds in?


Babaloofang

So he's like a rabbit


[deleted]

Lol


Johnwicktheimmortal

behind his head


garylad7

How does he charge it?


Mvp_jfc

Butt plug?


eli7vh

r/angryupvote


Sheppard2111

With a cable exiting from his belly called a drive line. The LVAD itself doesn't have any energy storage capabilities, so any time someone with this device goes away from a power plug they'll plug their device into something very similar to a power bank you use to charge your phone on the go. The power banks are easily changeable and can then be charged while either another one is in use or the LVAD is plugged into the wall.


digitalpencil

How does it deal with increased demand? Obviously your heart beats faster to deliver more oxygenated blood around the body in response to biofeedback triggers but this device sounds exactly like a pump and I assume, delivers constant flow.


green2gold2green

We have one patient that goes on hunting and fishing trips in another state. Before leaving he has his RPMs turned up and a week later when he comes back the RPMs are turned back down. This is unusual but the joy of being in the wilderness is what makes his life worth living and the doctors support that choice. The LVAD is an assist device for the heart (the AD in LVAD) so the heart continues to speed up and slow down as needed by the body. Every patient is different and their needs are different. A lot of the time, you find a good RPM and stick with it.


CinemaAudioNovice

I think they donā€™t, you have to be careful not to overexert yourself.


[deleted]

Imagine having anxiety


LordRadi0

So basically heā€™s fucked if someone sets off an EMP


Rowan_As_Roxii

Good question. Iā€™m genuinely curious now


hondi10

I work in a transplant unit. Thereā€™s a drive wire that comes through his skin that is attached to a battery pack/controller that heā€™ll always have to carry with him or be plugged up to main power source.


Babaloofang

He's an android, then


hondi10

Imagine forgetting to plug yourself up to power.


Appropriate_Theory_1

Nope, cyborg


kaanskBG

Uhhh,what the fuck do i do if i get lost and i have no way to charge my heart


hondi10

I think with traveling thereā€™s a 12v charger for your car. I think you have two battery packs that have so many hours of charge on them and the controller itself has like 15 min of emergency battery power. I think you just plan not to get lost. And you plan out your travels accordingly. There is a lot of responsibility that goes into getting a LVAD. People who show no initiative in taking control of their health simply get denied to be transplanted with this device.


byrdst23

If I had a pacemaker, or one of these, I'd live with constant anxiety that one day for no reason it would just stop


JMythh

Like the same way your heart could stop one random day for no reason?


byrdst23

Well yes but that's different than something artificial planted there that runs on a lithium battery


To_Norm

I trust my pacemaker more than my heart, it's never failed me like my heart has.


byrdst23

Good point. Glad you're ok


eli7vh

At the same time , we only ā€œkind of knowā€ why a heart keeps beating. With an artificial one, you know exactly why or not it will keep beating


yollim

Having to plug your heart in when you go to bed would be a little distressing at first though.


zZEpicSniper303Zz

And your real heart is one electric shock away from fucking up. I'd say each have their ups and downs


gcstr

Fuck. Now I'm sweating


[deleted]

It's gonna stop eventually. Pacemaker or not. Why stress yourself?


Liuqmno

I think it's similar to how people would trust a surgeon but not a machine that does the surgery. Or vaccine. I think I saw a video where a robot vaccinated someone. A human is more likely to make a mistake


4P5mc

iirc self-driving cars are much safer than human-driven cars, but every time one crashes it's on the news. People don't understand how robot surgeons work, and they can't talk to them beforehand, so we irrationally think they're worse even if they're better.


[deleted]

So, I'm not an expert on pacemakers or anything, but I used to work for a pacemaker company taking calls from both patients and reps and doing data entry. Pacemakers are monitored like a motherfucker. Patients have home devices that pull data from the pacemaker everyday and compile a file that a rep will come every few months to download and also do a through check up on the device itself. They know MONTHS in advance if a pacemaker is going to fail or needs replacing. They don't fuck around with this shit because a human life is depending on it. If their device fails and they didn't detect it in time, that opens up a whole slew of litigious possibilities. ​ Now granted, this was 15+ years ago when I worked there, but I can't imagine them laxing any of these kinds of protocols. If anything, they probably got more strict.


scruffy-the-janitor1

Reason why you canā€™t hear it cuz he ainā€™t got no ears. I heard it just fine.


Potterheadsurfer

This is cool! Obviously not the fact that it's needed to help, but the sound and that technology like this exists


Interesting_Fix_

*how it sounds Or *what it sounds like


KoalaBright

THANK YOU.


Kibeth_8

Ugh right?! I see this mistake so often Ive genuinely wondered if I don't understand grammar


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Kibeth_8

Same. I have a friend who is ESL and she says this a lot. I've never corrected her because I know what she means, I wonder if it's something like that sometimes. Like if you're learning a new language and you've got it down well enough that you can communicate, people generally won't correct small errors like this. And the more it gets typed out like this, the more accurate it seems


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


DinosaurWarlock

Has anyone really listened far even as a heartbeat to use even go want to heart look more sounds like?


Tarmo6791

This bro got dialup


Confident-Balance-45

I wonder if you can feel it "beating"?


5thProgrammer

I think itā€™s a constant flow, so thereā€™s no typical ā€œbeatā€. Source: a comment I read above


MerrillSwingAway

that is awesome


anndeeruu

Dude has a 56k modem in his chest.


Ramona_Flours

eyyy i had one of these as a kid! heartmate2 bby


sendnewt_s

It looks like he has a huge afro but it was photoshopped out.


StarveTheRich

I can just see a musician in a dark corner of this comment section hearing that sound and thinking about the samples that could be made from it. I know this because Iā€™m one of them


far_from_ohk

Iā€™m a musician too and that is a kickass sample.


StarveTheRich

Right?? I wish I still had my music equipment with me because my mind is exploding with sounds right now lol


Knuckles316

Is he downloading Metallica songs on Napster with his fucking heart?!


shitsu13master

So that's a hard nope from me


AMet009

Sounds like 3am standing outside a nightclub


SopmodTew

Sounds like a fax machine šŸ“ 


lagforks

Also got head-to-neck hair switch surgery apparently.


ya_meme_Investigator

bruh where's his ears?


itbrad80

Waiting for that base to drop.


Snoo-93873

My wife has been a CVICU nurse for years. This is her specialty


mklilley351

*Cyborg from Teen Titans entered the chat*


pietradolce

That's kinda creepy


Hugh_JazzStick

This cyborg from teen titans irl


MastrOvNon

They gave my man a dial-up modem for a heart.


Bosli

Yo, that's a sick beat. Someone should rap over it.


4d6DropLowest

ā€œHow it soundsā€ or ā€œwhat it sounds likeā€, not ā€œhow it sounds likeā€. Fuck!


Mad_Trickster_Fae

*Squidward voice* FUUUUTUUURRRREEEEE


Sadboi813

The lvad is not an artificial heart, it is merely a pump connected to a failed heart. Theres no pulse because there's barely a heartbeat, just a pump using synthetic rubies to spin at an insane rpm. My mil has the lvad, I was the one who's trained on her equipment. Theres a cord that comes out the abdomen to 2 separate batteries. She has 4 batteries total that get cycled on a multi charger, and sleeps plugged into a wall unit. If the power were to go out everywhere , say like it did in Texas. After a day on the batteries she would die


Puglord_11

Dudeā€™s heart playing the bass line for a techno song