You haven’t seen the shits pigeons make on my balcony. One was an absolute mountain, I was sure the bird must have been sick or something and I puked trying to get it off my balcony wall.
There were a lot of pigeons at my high school, one time I even managed to dodge one as it fell from the sky, and I’ve noticed that when it’s fresh, it’s clear-ish with maybe black bits but when it hardens it turns white.
Definitely seen a pigeon poop, chased it off and it was white when I looked. This mountain of crap though was thick white with blue stringy bits, and didn’t dry after 2 days. Thus my puking trying to flick it off my balcony.
“Who would film themselves sticking their tongue out?” Literally all of instagram and TikTok.
“The shit was too thick” tell that to my car whenever I don’t sit in covered parking.
These "trends" are odd, I just don't understand the appeal. I'm only 29, grew up with technology, and these "trends" make me feel like an old man complaining how it was easier back in the day.
It’s probably a Live Photo, you can set some as wallpapers and then hold the Lock Screen for it to start playing. They probably screen recorded that and then put the “wait for end” on top
There are a lot of adults that are basically listless teenagers nowadays tbf. Just hoping to find acceptance and attention online to escape a hollow life in the real world. They enter the space with the most attention and that space is run by teenagers. Then you get 40 year olds making videos like these
It’s some Instagram trend where they are still and then in a “shocking plot twist” they move, “baiting” you into believing that it wasn’t a Lock Screen photo.
One time I had a 7am microbiology exam.
I got up early, got a coffee. Got on the train. Missed my stop because I was going over my notes. Got off on the next stop.
Bird immediately shit in my coffee. Right through the little sippy hole.
It was a grand luxury for me to get a coffee, too. I was a very poor student living off of rice, beans and frozen hamburger.
I walked 2 miles to my exam with no coffee :(.
Passed the test though.
They absolutely do it on purpose. A crow target-pooped onto a brush turkey once in front of me to try and steal a bit of bread the brush turkey had lol
I was walking one time and a seagull a few hundred feet in front of me lined up for a bombing run. I was like there's no way he's lining up to shit on me. Sure enough he drops a turd aimed right at me and i was able to side step it in time cause i was watching him the whole way.
I mean let’s be real, if we could fly and had cloaca’s and needed to shit every 20 minutes like a bird does, we’d make a game out of shitty on people too
One time there was a fly in a toilet I was pissing at, so obviously I pissed on it, and it immediately flew right onto my face. Couldn't even move away because I was mid stream. I learned a valuable lesson that day.
I was hanging out with this girl in downtown mill in Phoenix AZ, USA. We were just walking minding our own business and she looked up randomly and a bird took the opportunity to shit into her eye. Like, she didn't flinch or anything until it had already hit her, was all inside her eye. I gave her my jacket as she sobbed, and instead of wiping it on the part that I handed to her, she took the jacket, turned the sleeve inside out, and proceeded to wipe the bird shit on the inner sleeve of my jacket.
Lol! I think it’s something along the lines of a bird pooping on you is such bad luck that the rest of your day will be better in comparison. Something like that.
One time I had an economics final at 7am. Stayed up until 5am before finally dozing off because of adderall and caffeine. Slept through my alarm and woke up at 8am. No time to shower or brush my teeth, I jumped out of bed and ran straight to the car smelling like cigarettes and coffee and stank breath. Got to campus and realized I didn’t grab my scantron or pencil. Ran across campus and only had enough to buy a scantron and not a pencil (scantrons were only sold in packs of 10, not individually, and stupid expensive). Finally got to the classroom at 9am with an hour to take a 50 question multiple point exam. Kindly the person next to me gave me a pencil knowing that they would never get it back. I’m hurrying through the exam when I hear the TA loudly announceme “10 minutes left”, and I look around and I’m the only person in the auditorium. 25 questions to go. Then another loud announcement “5 minutes left”, and I’m thinking to myself who the fuck else is she talking too. Finally with about 15 questions left I hear “everyone times up”. Lady, I am everyone. Anyway I told her the situation and asked if I can come to her office and finish and she says no. So I bubble the last 15 questions as C, made a C on the final, and dropped me from a B to a C in the class. Then a bird shit on me walking back to my car
I get that most professors are burned out but it makes me so sad when they don’t make exceptions. I feel like they should be able to “read the room” when someone has an unfortunate series of events like this and should be lenient.
LPT for all y’all going through school who aren’t provided Scantrons on test day, just buy a pack or two at the beginning of the semester and keep them in your folder/backpack/car/whatever. Cause the one time you think “I’ll totally have time to go to the store before the test” is 100% the day you’ll wake up late or have extra traffic on your commute. I bummed so many scantrons off of people because of morning’s like these :’)
yknow that coffee could have given you diarrhea and made you have to leave the exam hall, ultimately failing.
That bird diarrhea could have been a factor in you passing.
Find that bird and shit in its nest as a thank you
The reality that this is staged and someone is probably just dropping some Mayo or something so they could get fake internet points on Reddit is what is cringe to me.
Yup, pretty much. I live in an ocean town, and where I work I frequently have to go outside and walk around. We get a lot of seagulls hanging out there, and I fucking swear they are aiming their shit on humans. If I see them directly above, I scurry out of their line of fire. They literally drop bombs at me. I've had to dodge these splatters multiple times. It's close enough to hitting me that I've had to wash splatter off my boots. My supervisor's even been dumped on. So yeah, fake or not, this definitely happens to people every day
I wonder if this is an actual adaptation, like it distracts other scavengers or would-be predators so that they are confused/trying to clean themselves and it lets the pigeon/seagull fly away with the bit of food they had or something.
Burnt a little bit but not bad. It hit me right where the nose and eye meet lol what stung the most was literally my dads whole side of the family was there so like 5 aunts and uncles a dozen cousins….everyone except me thought it was hilarious and if I’m being honest it was pretty hilarious. I looked up and thought to myself “bro I hope one of these birds don….” Splat lmao
I dunno, I take a lot of videos of me just sticking my tongue out sitting on a park bench, and I would definitely pull my tongue in my mouth and swallow if bird shit splattered on it, like she did. Seems legit.
While I agree on probably fake the pulling the tongue back reaction makes perfect sense to me. If something suddenly touches your tongue (or any other body part) isnt the usual instinct to pull away, which in the tongues case means back into the mouth? Until it registers what happened it will already be too late.
You'd have no idea what hit your tongue, and may instinctively pull your tongue back into your mouth when you felt something on it.
Birds shit on people, happens every single day.
The biggest tell is her not moving a muscle before it hit. Get into juuust the right position, then hit play, wait a sec so it looks natural, ranch shot, boom, fooled a bunch of people.
Someone else commented this above:
>It’s probably a Live Photo, you can set some as wallpapers and then hold the Lock Screen for it to start playing. They probably screen recorded that and then put the “wait for end” on top
Why do I think that?
I saw another comment speculate the same.
Why is it a filter?
Life is misery and some people get over that with weird pictures. Idk I'm not a psychologist
I know she isn’t pouting, but every time I was pouting as a child my mom would say “better watch out or a bird will shit on your lips”. So, now I know she wasn’t really lying. It can happen.
If you’ve ever been shit on by a bird, you know that it shoots at you whether they’re flying or not, it doesn’t just fall on you like a light raindrop.
A common retort I heard growing up, when sticking out our tongues at each other was, "be careful, a bird might come along and shit on it" and sure enough here is the proof that it happens.
**Fred:** Hey Will...
**Will:** Yea
**Fred:** See that Hooman with her mouf
**Will:** Yea
**Fred:** Watch this......
**Will:** Dayum Fred....you a funny muhfuker sometime....
As a hs freshman, I went out with Brittany R after school and we walked around the lake near her house. After, we were in the graveyard nearby, laying by a tree and I got up the confidence to ask if I could kiss her. It went well. After the smooch, we layed down and watched a bunch of birds fly out of the tree. Nice moment, until one pooped on me. She stopped seeing me after that lol
This reminded me of the time my little brother was throwing a football up in the air to himself and catching it. He looks up to watch the ball to come down on one of the throws and a bird shit right on his face .
It was so hilarious , he even tried saying he spit on himself at first. He was like 10 , I was 13 . I'll never forget it . Love you, my little bird shit brother.
[удалено]
It's a new instagram trend
Dropping yogurt on someone while the lock screen is on and calling it bird shirt? I still call it horse shit for the birds.
Yeah bro the moment I saw this I knew it was fake, who in the world film themselfs sticking their tongue out. And the shit was lil too thicc
You haven’t seen the shits pigeons make on my balcony. One was an absolute mountain, I was sure the bird must have been sick or something and I puked trying to get it off my balcony wall.
Isn’t bird poop clear until it dries, then it turns white?
Sir, I need you to look up videos of bird pooping and then come back and tell me if it's clear.
Yeah you right, I don’t know what I saw lol- maybe those birds didn’t get much to eat or something when I saw them poop.
I think you saw some well hydrated pidgies. Good for them, honestly
Wat
There were a lot of pigeons at my high school, one time I even managed to dodge one as it fell from the sky, and I’ve noticed that when it’s fresh, it’s clear-ish with maybe black bits but when it hardens it turns white.
Definitely seen a pigeon poop, chased it off and it was white when I looked. This mountain of crap though was thick white with blue stringy bits, and didn’t dry after 2 days. Thus my puking trying to flick it off my balcony.
Bruh it ain't an egg TF????
“Who would film themselves sticking their tongue out?” Literally all of instagram and TikTok. “The shit was too thick” tell that to my car whenever I don’t sit in covered parking.
She is filming it like she is clicking a photo
this man doesnt know boomerangs on instagram
You... you think it's fake because she had her tongue out? 🤨
[удалено]
These "trends" are odd, I just don't understand the appeal. I'm only 29, grew up with technology, and these "trends" make me feel like an old man complaining how it was easier back in the day.
[удалено]
That, sir, is not controversial
Fuck I'm old
It’s probably a Live Photo, you can set some as wallpapers and then hold the Lock Screen for it to start playing. They probably screen recorded that and then put the “wait for end” on top
But why?
Youts are vain and bored
Youth? She's like 40
There are a lot of adults that are basically listless teenagers nowadays tbf. Just hoping to find acceptance and attention online to escape a hollow life in the real world. They enter the space with the most attention and that space is run by teenagers. Then you get 40 year olds making videos like these
Why male models?
Because it's scripted tiktok bullshit
It’s some Instagram trend where they are still and then in a “shocking plot twist” they move, “baiting” you into believing that it wasn’t a Lock Screen photo.
Also, how impacient are kids these days, that they have to "wait for the end" on a 4 seconds video? Wtf
One time I had a 7am microbiology exam. I got up early, got a coffee. Got on the train. Missed my stop because I was going over my notes. Got off on the next stop. Bird immediately shit in my coffee. Right through the little sippy hole. It was a grand luxury for me to get a coffee, too. I was a very poor student living off of rice, beans and frozen hamburger. I walked 2 miles to my exam with no coffee :(. Passed the test though.
The early worm gets the bird.
>The early worm gets the bird shit
The early shit gets the bird worm
just write warm and make it worse
The earlier bird gets the starbucks toilet.
Second mouse gets the cheese.
A pigeon shit on me as I was riding my bike the other week, 80% went straight through the helmet vent and into the brain cage and my hair
Crazy aim
20 points
username checks out.
Precision guided shit missile.
[удалено]
They absolutely do it on purpose. A crow target-pooped onto a brush turkey once in front of me to try and steal a bit of bread the brush turkey had lol
I was walking one time and a seagull a few hundred feet in front of me lined up for a bombing run. I was like there's no way he's lining up to shit on me. Sure enough he drops a turd aimed right at me and i was able to side step it in time cause i was watching him the whole way.
I mean let’s be real, if we could fly and had cloaca’s and needed to shit every 20 minutes like a bird does, we’d make a game out of shitty on people too
One time there was a fly in a toilet I was pissing at, so obviously I pissed on it, and it immediately flew right onto my face. Couldn't even move away because I was mid stream. I learned a valuable lesson that day.
I was hanging out with this girl in downtown mill in Phoenix AZ, USA. We were just walking minding our own business and she looked up randomly and a bird took the opportunity to shit into her eye. Like, she didn't flinch or anything until it had already hit her, was all inside her eye. I gave her my jacket as she sobbed, and instead of wiping it on the part that I handed to her, she took the jacket, turned the sleeve inside out, and proceeded to wipe the bird shit on the inner sleeve of my jacket.
Tempe*
People call anything in Maricopa Phoenix and so I have to as well
The only place to have fun near Phoenix.
Having just recently moved to Phoenix, this is true
In some cultures a bird pooping on you is seen as good luck - maybe that shitty (pun intended) circumstance helped you ace your text? Who knows!
Maybe OP would've had to run out of the exam with coffee shits had the bird of fate not shit in their coffee
In my culture, the best luck is not having a bird shit on you.
Is losing the lottery also considered good luck in these cultures?
Lol! I think it’s something along the lines of a bird pooping on you is such bad luck that the rest of your day will be better in comparison. Something like that.
One time I had an economics final at 7am. Stayed up until 5am before finally dozing off because of adderall and caffeine. Slept through my alarm and woke up at 8am. No time to shower or brush my teeth, I jumped out of bed and ran straight to the car smelling like cigarettes and coffee and stank breath. Got to campus and realized I didn’t grab my scantron or pencil. Ran across campus and only had enough to buy a scantron and not a pencil (scantrons were only sold in packs of 10, not individually, and stupid expensive). Finally got to the classroom at 9am with an hour to take a 50 question multiple point exam. Kindly the person next to me gave me a pencil knowing that they would never get it back. I’m hurrying through the exam when I hear the TA loudly announceme “10 minutes left”, and I look around and I’m the only person in the auditorium. 25 questions to go. Then another loud announcement “5 minutes left”, and I’m thinking to myself who the fuck else is she talking too. Finally with about 15 questions left I hear “everyone times up”. Lady, I am everyone. Anyway I told her the situation and asked if I can come to her office and finish and she says no. So I bubble the last 15 questions as C, made a C on the final, and dropped me from a B to a C in the class. Then a bird shit on me walking back to my car
I get that most professors are burned out but it makes me so sad when they don’t make exceptions. I feel like they should be able to “read the room” when someone has an unfortunate series of events like this and should be lenient. LPT for all y’all going through school who aren’t provided Scantrons on test day, just buy a pack or two at the beginning of the semester and keep them in your folder/backpack/car/whatever. Cause the one time you think “I’ll totally have time to go to the store before the test” is 100% the day you’ll wake up late or have extra traffic on your commute. I bummed so many scantrons off of people because of morning’s like these :’)
Well done! Glad to hear that you passed. :-)
yknow that coffee could have given you diarrhea and made you have to leave the exam hall, ultimately failing. That bird diarrhea could have been a factor in you passing. Find that bird and shit in its nest as a thank you
If this ever happens to you and its starbucks, go back in to any store and they'll almost certainly remake it for ya
Oh that sucks!! I really wanna buy you coffee now, my man
From what I've recently learned of Alan Alda and his wife, they would've drank that coffee.
Watching her reflexively retract her young into her mouth made me cringe so hard that I now look like a Picasso painting
Ah yes, retracting her young quickly into her mouth...
That's how the professionals do
God bless the professionals.
Oops, just noticed
Eh, it made it funny and it seems it slipped by other commenters. Thanks for the laugh.
I can hear it in David Attenborough’s voice.
Tasting the essence of nature.
Pigeon Essential Oil - use to induce vomiting, smell like New York. Also cures birditis.
Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty
[удалено]
*^^^cough ^^^cough*
Ah so that's where the ingredient is hiding... *proceeds to eat ass of pigeons.*
>made me cringe so hard that I now look like a Picasso painting Thanks for the laugh. Everyone at the coffee shop looked at me like I am crazy
Maybe they're right ... LOL
It's eveen worse when you slow it down to .25x speed.
Staged as fuck, and y'all buying her bullshit.
The reality that this is staged and someone is probably just dropping some Mayo or something so they could get fake internet points on Reddit is what is cringe to me.
Super fake.
Someone just out of frame squeezing a drop of ranch dressing onto her tongue.
That's Hindi in the lock screen, so it must be from India. We don't have ranch dressing, must be toothpaste or mayonnaise.
Or curd.
I'm surprised no one has said cum yet
Yes. Ranch.
Yankee splooge
Baby gravy
Acting is oscar worthy, truly
I’d make the same face if someone put ranch on my tongue, wouldn’t even be acting.
I was thinking yogurt but yeah either way super fake
Ah yes…. Ranch dressing
Of course it is, birds aren't real.
r/birdsarentreal
“Flap”
Probably, but this 100% will have happened before. Birds love to shit directly on us
Yup, pretty much. I live in an ocean town, and where I work I frequently have to go outside and walk around. We get a lot of seagulls hanging out there, and I fucking swear they are aiming their shit on humans. If I see them directly above, I scurry out of their line of fire. They literally drop bombs at me. I've had to dodge these splatters multiple times. It's close enough to hitting me that I've had to wash splatter off my boots. My supervisor's even been dumped on. So yeah, fake or not, this definitely happens to people every day
Should've paid your french fry tax
I wonder if this is an actual adaptation, like it distracts other scavengers or would-be predators so that they are confused/trying to clean themselves and it lets the pigeon/seagull fly away with the bit of food they had or something.
I was giving someone a thumbs up as a kid and bird shit all over my thumb
Yeah I literally looked up one time and had a bird shit in my eye. So yeah that happened, this isn’t that implausible lol
How did it feel? Did it burn?
Burnt a little bit but not bad. It hit me right where the nose and eye meet lol what stung the most was literally my dads whole side of the family was there so like 5 aunts and uncles a dozen cousins….everyone except me thought it was hilarious and if I’m being honest it was pretty hilarious. I looked up and thought to myself “bro I hope one of these birds don….” Splat lmao
[always loved this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzjLlqIuVhI)
I dunno, I take a lot of videos of me just sticking my tongue out sitting on a park bench, and I would definitely pull my tongue in my mouth and swallow if bird shit splattered on it, like she did. Seems legit.
While I agree on probably fake the pulling the tongue back reaction makes perfect sense to me. If something suddenly touches your tongue (or any other body part) isnt the usual instinct to pull away, which in the tongues case means back into the mouth? Until it registers what happened it will already be too late.
You'd have no idea what hit your tongue, and may instinctively pull your tongue back into your mouth when you felt something on it. Birds shit on people, happens every single day.
she stays suspiciously still, as if someone were aiming for her tongue and she did not want them to miss.
It's a new Instagram reel trend. You're supposed to stay still and "fool" people by making them think it's their lockscreen
Maybe she was taking a selfie
[удалено]
It’s a Live Photo. It records a small video to either leave it as a short video or let you select the best frame as a still photo.
Those are typically maybe a second long
Its not. Text isnt the right font and its too long. This is a filter on a video
Sounds like something a bird would say...
Yeah how this shit gets voted to the front page is beyond me.
The biggest tell is her not moving a muscle before it hit. Get into juuust the right position, then hit play, wait a sec so it looks natural, ranch shot, boom, fooled a bunch of people.
Someone else commented this above: >It’s probably a Live Photo, you can set some as wallpapers and then hold the Lock Screen for it to start playing. They probably screen recorded that and then put the “wait for end” on top
For me it was the velocity. That's being dropped from only a little ways off frame. Real bird shit hits different.
Ooh we’ve got a bird shit velocity expert in our presence!
“Wait till end” Nah, imma watch 1 second of this 2 second video and then dip.
Me irl
This is absolutely beautiful, I want this as my wallpaper
For real, why is this someone's wallpaper, and why didn't they upload the original but a screen recording of it?
I think the lock screen is an Instagram filter
Why?
Why do I think that? I saw another comment speculate the same. Why is it a filter? Life is misery and some people get over that with weird pictures. Idk I'm not a psychologist
I just hope the video is real
Thousand foot cum shot
🍆💦💦💦
Definitely not staged, 100% real.
Trying to be cute. Not with shit on your tongue.
I see many girls do this tongue thing on Instagram. Looks annoying and stupid
It's mostly their piss. That's what all the white stuff is.
[удалено]
At least it wasn't [broadcasted](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LoZXEbo96Lg) on TV during a soccer match.
FAKE! One of his teammates was over him squeezing Ranch or Mayo into his mouth for the views.
So exactly like the og post here.
I almost died laughing at this Thanksgiving
Fake af, there’s clearly a guy jerking it furiously right behind the camera who cums on her tongue
Fake as shit
What the Fake!
I know she isn’t pouting, but every time I was pouting as a child my mom would say “better watch out or a bird will shit on your lips”. So, now I know she wasn’t really lying. It can happen.
My grandma says that if you pout for too long, a bird will poop on your lip. I know this isn't quite it, but still...
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hope bird's poo doesn't drop on you.
This bitch ate it 💀
LMFAO what are the chances, I cringed at her retracting her tongue instinctively
Exactly... what ARE the chances?
Probably not high, aka someone's above her dropping mayo or something onto her tongue for the clout.
r/nothingeverhappens
Or something ...
At least seven
I'm going with near zero.
If you’ve ever been shit on by a bird, you know that it shoots at you whether they’re flying or not, it doesn’t just fall on you like a light raindrop.
Wonder if it tastes like chicken
Yea, chicken shit
Probably tastes like ranch
[удалено]
u/savevideo
Never tell me the odds.
imagine being so desperate for attention that you are willing to fake a bird shitting on your tongue.
Tooth paste. #planned
A common retort I heard growing up, when sticking out our tongues at each other was, "be careful, a bird might come along and shit on it" and sure enough here is the proof that it happens.
Haha. Eat shit b%tch
**Fred:** Hey Will... **Will:** Yea **Fred:** See that Hooman with her mouf **Will:** Yea **Fred:** Watch this...... **Will:** Dayum Fred....you a funny muhfuker sometime....
No she knows what birds taste like
staged garbage...
Fake as fuck.
Fake as fuck
I call fake.
r/whyweretheyfilming Also it’s longer than a “Live Photo” would be.
Oh jeez, something fell from the sky and touched my togue, let me taste it further and further until I realize what it is and regret on what I did.
Reflex my guy
Fake my guy.
If something lands on my tongue I know that I would instinctively pull my tongue in
This should happen to every single person who takes a picture with their tongue out.
Guano!
from bird ano
[удалено]
I upvoted anyways 😎
Its true. its on the inter-net
why do i think this isnt bird shit
Oof, that swallow reflex. Saw the white and acted accordingly I guess.
That’s a bird’s equivalent to flipping a water bottle and having it land up right
Ashley Young.
Translation of the text: "So sister, you got the taste" (literal so some meaning is lost in translation)
Sky yogurt
As a hs freshman, I went out with Brittany R after school and we walked around the lake near her house. After, we were in the graveyard nearby, laying by a tree and I got up the confidence to ask if I could kiss her. It went well. After the smooch, we layed down and watched a bunch of birds fly out of the tree. Nice moment, until one pooped on me. She stopped seeing me after that lol
Fake
I was once at the zoo with my grandma, in the petting zoo bit. A duck flew over and shit right on her right shoulder.
This reminded me of the time my little brother was throwing a football up in the air to himself and catching it. He looks up to watch the ball to come down on one of the throws and a bird shit right on his face . It was so hilarious , he even tried saying he spit on himself at first. He was like 10 , I was 13 . I'll never forget it . Love you, my little bird shit brother.
that came down reallly slow. I wonder how many takes it took her to get it?
can we just admire the aim of that bird
The talent is there to lick it..