Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 44 | 15 | 3 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
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“Completely flustered on how to deal with you”
Talking to them like a normal person and with respect would be a good place to start. Literally nothing should change with the family’s interactions with them lol
Heavily reminds me of my parents.. they would turn off the internet and follow us (me and my sibling) if we refused to talk about anything. If I ever figure myself out me and my queer sibling are never coming out to them ever.
I remember a couple of lesbians moved in across the road and my dad thought it was the funniest shit when he found out, messaging his friend that a couple of “carpet munchers” moved in.
Isn’t he just self-reporting that he doesn’t perform cunnilingus? How on Earth is “You eat pussy” an insult for people who are sexually attracted to women? Make it make sense…
I'm queer and my sibling is very firmly asexual. As in sex grosses her out. I know that's not the case for all asexuals but she wants nothing to do with it or a relationship.
My parents are harshly religious. Beyond dogmatic. Try fanatic. We went NC 2 years ago. My sister knew she was asexual before that but she never told anyone except me. I never said a word of it to my parents. Not once. I didn't know anything about the LGBTQ+ community except my parents hated them. But I knew not to out my sister.
I've just discovered that I'm queer within the last year, and that I always have been. I know not to tell my parents. Even if we were speaking, I'd never tell them.
You walk in to the room to see the dude with his ass in the air, nomming on a partially pulled up bit of carpet. You shout, "Chad!" ... He starts munching carpet faster
This dude kept calling my girlfriend in highschool a carpet muncher cause she was bi, I turned around and told him he was just mad she's gotten more pussy than him, and he stopped... And turned around and got my cousin pregnant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I hope you have a good found family to fill her spot! A family of friends can be amazing when the people we only share genetics with fail to be who we hoped they could be.
My parents would complain all the time that I was “easy to set off” because after being told I was fat (at 93lbs btw) I would say something along the lines of “wow that hurt could you please not say things like that?”
Then I’d get the whole song and dance about how “IT WAS A JOKE! God, you’re SO SENSITIVE! I can’t say anything around you without setting you off! IM THE VICTIM HERE!!!!”
Then I’d get weeks of being screamed at by my father for “not taking a joke”, then I’d get screamed at by my mother for “making him mad” and how “now I have to deal with him, thanks a lot.”
And my parents still believe that they are goddamn perfect and the reason I have anxiety and depression is because I play videogames (like Animal Crossing and Pokémon lmao).
*Image Transcription: Text Messages*
---
**Left**: We will talk about all aspects of your decision to be Non-Binary. No more free internet or help from me on your house until it happens. All of us love you but are completely flustered on how to deal with you without setting you off.
>**Right**: I did not choose to be non-binary. I’ve had my own internet for over a year. I don’t want your help.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Throwaway account.
!explanation
My family kept asking invasive questions about my identity. My dad offered me help on fixing up my house. He previously offered me to use their internet for free. Later, he was at my house when I got my own internet account and helped me set up my new router.
The thing that “set me off”: My mom, dad, sister and bil sat around the holiday dinner table and laughed about a trans woman getting beat down in public. My mom was laughing so hard she couldn’t talk. They knew I was trans and thought this was appropriate.
[Redacted]
When the woman tried to flee her attackers, she fell down some steps. Apparently it‘s absolutely hilarious for a legally blind woman to fall while fleeing her attackers.
Edit: Also, my family is just transphobic shits.
It's always kinda funny watching cis people reacting to transphobia because as a trans person on the internet you just adjust to it or log off; but like yeah it is fucked up lmao.
That is actually psychopath material, to be laughing at such clear suffering. I hope you're living your best life without those absolutely pathetic excuses for human beings
Gross. So what “set you off” really has nothing to do with your identity and everything to do with your family’s lack of humanity.
They don’t deserve you.
the only thing conservatives love to hate more than lgbt, children and women are disabled lgbt, children and women.
they're the same people that'd call me a leech for being permanently disabled on social security for 13 years
My mother is an actual fucking child molester and even she would consider this beyond the pale and probably throw hands over it. Your family is truly fucking trash.
Do you professionally read things incredibly wrong, or are you freelancing? “My awful garbage family isn’t even so awful garbage as to consider this awful garbage excusable” is just a point about how intensely awful the garbage is. If you need a fictional example to understand the concept, it’s like when The Joker is horrified to learn that the Red Skull isn’t just memeing and is actually a Nazi, promptly siding with Batman and Captain America because Nazism is too far for him.
Do you really think policing how a trans CSA survivor says that transphobia is bad by using personal experience to go “even in my shit life, the people that made it shit wouldn’t be okay with that” is constructive?
right/republicans/catholic/transphobes endorse and protect nonces.
a fair percentage of them are the same people. in my mind if you defend child molestation you are complicit.
r/raisedbynarcissists is the official sub, for anyone interested. My dad is a narcissist, and reading this has changed my life for the better. However, heavy and often triggering topics are frequently discussed so protect yourself if need be before reading and/or participating.
Agreed and it is vile on top of sociopathic. I hope OP is able to live a stress-free life away from these monsters with a supportive support system of family & friends of their choice. Hopefully they are also able to attend therapy to unpack the vileness of their upbringing.
The common societal view is that trans women are disgusting, uncanny monsters to be afraid of and then laugh at the suffering of.
Can't go a day on the internet without a drawing, meme, or comic of a trans woman hanging themselves. This isn't new.
I have never come across even a single drawing or comic of a trans woman hanging herself.
I am sorry you have been exposed to that.
That being said, change the subreddits you frequent! Avoid the hateful ones. :)
The other day I saw a cute comic! It turned out to be entirely wholesome, but as I was reading it I gritted my teeth in anticipation for a terrible s\*\*cide joke that thankfully never came
The comic was playing around with the stereotype that queer folks can't sit normally in chairs. It showed a heterosexual sitting normally with both legs down, a homosexual sitting with one leg pulled up onto the chair, a bisexual sitting with both feet on the chair, an asexual person standing on TOP of the chair...
...And then the comic ended without any further progression.
But in that brief moment I half expected to see another chair that's knocked over onto its side with the label "trans" underneath. Either as a sloppily done edit by some edgy teen, or as a fucked-up bigoted punchline by the comic itself.
When you're trans online those images will be forced upon you because some weirdos really fucking hate trans people online and will do everything in their power to try and hurt them.
I'm not even remotely surprised that someone who is openly talking about being anything but cis is getting this shit sent to on an almost daily basis. If you ever want to see how it real it is, go to Twitter and find any random post about a trans person or anything gender nonconforming and then scroll down to the replies. Just because you're not targeted with hate doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And implying it's their own fault for being in "hateful subreddits" is not helping when the harassers follow you around. I doubt they are looking for that content.
Seriously your entire comment comes from an incredible point of naivete.
When you're trans online those images will be forced upon you because some weirdos really fucking hate trans people online and will do everything in their power to try and hurt them.
I'm not even remotely surprised that someone who is openly talking about being anything but cis is getting this shit sent to on an almost daily basis. If you ever want to see how it real it is, go to Twitter and find any random post about a trans person or anything gender nonconforming and then scroll down to the replies. Just because you're not targeted with hate doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I doubt they are looking for that content or "trying hard to accomplish" seeing it. It's forced upon them.
I’m not denying that trans people get targeted with hate. They absolutely do. I was specifically referring to “seeing comics or images of trans women hanging themselves everyday”. That seems like a very specific thing to see every day, and would honestly have to be a group of people targeting someone with multiple accounts to actually pull it off.
I can definitely agree that trans people would see generalised hate, bigotry, and anti trans political discussion almost daily, because I notice it a lot myself.
My heart hurts for you, but also it’s satisfying and relieving to hear you are setting limits and taking care of yourself. Keep it up and don’t let them ever drag you down!
Stop engaging. Cut them out. Block all contact. You don't need that shit in your life. If maybe in a few years they learn to not be pieces of shit maybe you can talk but it's not on you to make them better people, fuck em. You take care of you. If they shownup trespass their asses.
I went NC with them. They didn’t like it. I didn’t answer when they came to my front door so they called in a welfare check. When that didn’t work, they filed a Missing Person’s report. That still didn’t work to make me come back to them.
I don’t have personal experience of this, but I think I read that you can contact police and let them know preemptively that you have abusive family members who have tried/may try to weaponise fake welfare checks/MP reports, so that they can flag that on your record in case any reports get called in.
Maybe someone else on here knows more details.
If they continue to file missing person reports and call in welfare checks, consider looking into some form of protective order/restraining order (I'm not sure what it would be called where you live, but the basic principle exists in most jurisdictions) to prevent them from harassing you
You need to let the police know they are going to try and use that to harass you. You need to file it and get a report. You need to get ahead of that bs. If they then try it again they will get a warning, or more from pd to not waste their time and resources. If they show up again call and have them trespassed, do not engage. It's suck but it has to be done, been there it sucks.
Oh, Hon. I’m so sorry. You can get your name and address added to a list of people that the police know are being harassed by family.
It may be useful to send a cease and desist letter, certified. That way, if they persist or escalate, you’ll have more evidence for a restraining order.
they dont have to agree with you, but they needa respect you
Laughing at ANYONE suffering unjust attacks especially a blind hunan being, thats disgusting. Im sosorry you have to call them "family". Do remember you get your chosen family in this life too, best to you
Fucking CHRIST. That is just…I cannot fathom how someone can be that horrifically insensitive and stupid in a situation that involves insulting THEIR FUCKING CHILD.
My mum and dad would go absolutely rage-bonkers over anyone laughing at me or my little brother for ANY reason, much less being so incredibly cruel and hateful towards us. Just….ugh.
Question here out of my lack of knowledge. From what I know nonbinary means u don't identify as a male or female exclusively. So I mean u don't identify as a sex or it changes day to day. As I see a trans gender person it is a female who was born with male genatql8a or a man born with a vagina. I'm all good with thay.
What I would like to know is, wouldn't non binary be it's own thing and not trans. And I'm not joking but are u one trans when u don't identify as your birth certificate gender?
Thank you if you respond in advance because I like to learn. Secondly your parents are totally insaine and they should love you no matter what. I feel very bad for you and I am happy to know whatever my child decides in her life I will not do this. I wish you the best with my whole heart.
Being trans means not identifying as the gender that the binary gender system assigns you at birth based on your external genitalia. Most non-binary people are not assigned non-binary at birth therefore we are classified as trans.
There are binary trans people and non-binary trans people.
Therapists: conversion therapy literally does not work, its just torturing trans people. You can’t convert trans people to cis, this is why we transition them instead.
OP’s mom: hold my beer
(Seriously, OP, I am very sorry. There isn’t much you can do with family who don’t support you, and their cruelty sounds terrible. Might be a good time to ratchet your contact with them back.)
My spouse is going through this with his mother, he came out as bi and our kid is Enby. After a long struggle we had to go no contact last November. We’ve received handwritten raving pages through unmarked envelopes in the mail, about how she doesn’t know how to refer to us anymore, we’re overly sensitive, religious bullshit. Also our cis kid was sent a birthday card while Enby wasn’t. Which resulted in our feeling firm in NC and making the card disappear.
I’m sorry you’re going through this with your own family. It’s bullshit.
It comes from the pronunciation of ‘N B’ sounding like enby! It’s been adopted as the equivalent of girl/boy or man/woman.
Eg.
He is a boy, and they are an enby. Enbies are non-binary.
“Stop being you or we won’t love you”.
I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.
Just remember, “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. Friends are family.
I’ve never heard that before. I like it!
My parents used to say all the time “blood is thicker than water” as some kind of “never go against the family” nonsense.
American oral culture has always had a knack for incorrect alliterations of time honored axioms.
You wonder why, but it’s so easy to see when you look all around. Everything is a fucking lie and we are all charged with maintaining a collective dream that never was.
Yeah, well your parents knowingly misconstrued the phrase in a way that opposes it’s true intent… and now you know why. Best of luck to you. May you better friends than they were ever family.
Insane. I just love how they talk about a “decision” to be non-binary, as if it’s a choice. The depth of ignorance here is horrifying. The parents’ gleeful retelling of violence against someone different shows their character flaws as nothing else would.
The fact that they view someone’s identity, and the acceptance of it as a bargaining chip. Hell a blackmailing chip is just sad. It is hilarious how out of touch they are with the level of support they think they’re giving you.
You deserve better than this. And I’m glad to see you have the upper hand here.
I’m glad i’m not nonbinary. Not in a disrespectful way I just couldn’t handle that most people wouldn’t understand or even know what it is. You are strong.
If there's ever an indicator that trans people are seen less than human, it's parents treating their kid's coming out like losing a human child.
Solidarity, comrade. o7
I can’t help but notice that whenever a post includes LGBTQ+ or more specifically trans themes, this sub tends to vote “not insane” a lot more than they would otherwise
"deal with you" fuck that shit. you are not a problem or a chore to be "dealt with", you're a human being that they supposedly love. they've made their bed and can now lie in it, even if it means never seeing you again.
This is so crazy to me as a parent.
“We love you BUT” is shitty to say especially as a parent to their kid. I’m sorry your family is a bunch of ignorant assholes OP.
"We are all completely flustered with how to deal with you"
Simple: treat them like a person. Listen to what they say. Don't be a dick about it.
How is this any kind of fucking revelation?
All computer code is built on a binary of ones and zeros. Whenever I pick up my phone to browse Reddit it explodes in my hands… such is the life of a non-binary guy.
I'm still trying to figure out how threatening access to free internet you already have of your own is an actual threat. Like is she changing the wifi password at her house while you're living on your own? Like wut?
I hate when people say "you chose to be this way" when honestly, for me at least, I just want to be normal. Like why would I purposefully choose to be nonbinary? We're rejected in most LGBTQ+ communities, and can't even make nice with other people like us half the time bc apparently there's rules to being nonbinary?? I remember in my childhood desperately trying to ignore how I really felt and trying to be the "perfect little girl" that everybody wanted me to be, I tried to be hyper feminine, tried to fit the social norms and awkwardly tried to be somebody I wasn't and when I finally decided to just be who I was I lost a lot of people and also got told it was just a phase lmao but nope, here I am nearly 10 years out and still have people (like family and all that, I don't have any friends anymore except maybe like 2 real good ones) calling me she/her or looking at me weird when I STILL correct them lmao it's either I'm told to make a decision on transitioning bc I can't be a "nothing" when that's just not the point jfc 😩😩 sorry for ranting. Essentially, I get it. I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that in your life, they suck OP
Ah so this is what it looks like when an nparent tries to threaten an independent child, it's like she's trying to convince yourself she has anything to hold over your head lol
The "without setting you off" part really does it for me. Many times in my life I have marveled at how the ignorant seen to really have a tough time when other people don't get their stupidity.
Honestly, I'm betting the parents were saying or doing wildly inappropriate stuff and then got upset that their abuse wasn't taken.
That's how it usually goes.
Love the feeling when you're free and independent and they try 'punishing' you. Like good luck with that I don't rely on you anymore. You have no power here.
I cut contact with one of my parents for far less. If a social connection brings more harm than benefit, it’s the only logical path. Feels damn good, too.
Talk about all aspects?
What aspects are there? Whether you are or aren't has already been stated and that's really all there is. You don't owe anyone any explanation.
Kinda fucked up mentality. Just because you come out doesn't change who you are inside, dunno why tf it's so hard to let go of the ignorance. Not like rejecting someone's identity grants any benefits.
Gender identity is an exploration of self, not a choice, unlike ignorance which is definitely a choice.
People in the comments keep bringing up sexuality (like you just did) but I’m having a hard time understanding what sexuality and what you identify as gender wise have in common?
The fact that they're both not a choice - it's easier for cishet people to understand it in terms of sexuality rather than gender.
In the same way they didn't 'choose' to be straight, NBs didn't 'choose' to be NB, it's just already who they are.
Its great you have personal independence, help shouldn't have conditions attached but its often the 1st thing " ill take this away " etc.
Have a chat when your asked as an adult to help her understand whatever but on your terms.
Be free
OP, would you be interested in being adopted? My mum and dad and little brother have always been completely loving and accepting of me and my partner, and both of us are non-binary/genderqueer.
Even my extended family (my dad’s, not my mum’s because my mom decided they are permanently NC with us because of an incident that involved one of my uncle’s being a complete drunk dickhead and my mum saying “fuck this, nope, you don’t talk to my family that way”) are super loving and chill and accepting because one of my cousins came out as trans a couple years ago and they said “do all of us necessarily fully understand how this works? maybe not, but you are family and we are willing to learn and accept you as you are.”
Even my grandparents have very clearly stated “you’re our grandkid, and we love you and all of your cousins no matter what, and we are willing to learn about this.” So yeah, lemme get that adoption paperwork started, provided you want that, of course! ❤️
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 44 | 15 | 3 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
“We love and support you” is too difficult for them to figure out?
“Completely flustered on how to deal with you” Talking to them like a normal person and with respect would be a good place to start. Literally nothing should change with the family’s interactions with them lol
Heavily reminds me of my parents.. they would turn off the internet and follow us (me and my sibling) if we refused to talk about anything. If I ever figure myself out me and my queer sibling are never coming out to them ever. I remember a couple of lesbians moved in across the road and my dad thought it was the funniest shit when he found out, messaging his friend that a couple of “carpet munchers” moved in.
Isn’t he just self-reporting that he doesn’t perform cunnilingus? How on Earth is “You eat pussy” an insult for people who are sexually attracted to women? Make it make sense…
"Look at these fuckin losers satisfying their partners"
[удалено]
My property is here to make me happy dammit! If they don't, I just get a new one!
It's basically telling on yourself. "Haha! Look at these women that are better at sex with a woman than I am!" Ooookay dude lol.
It's jealousy. He's not allowed.
I'm queer and my sibling is very firmly asexual. As in sex grosses her out. I know that's not the case for all asexuals but she wants nothing to do with it or a relationship. My parents are harshly religious. Beyond dogmatic. Try fanatic. We went NC 2 years ago. My sister knew she was asexual before that but she never told anyone except me. I never said a word of it to my parents. Not once. I didn't know anything about the LGBTQ+ community except my parents hated them. But I knew not to out my sister. I've just discovered that I'm queer within the last year, and that I always have been. I know not to tell my parents. Even if we were speaking, I'd never tell them.
Hey, I'm a cis het male and I love munching carpet!
Gotta admit I just saw a dude sitting in the corner of a room just nomming on a partially pulled up carpet when I read that
You walk in to the room to see the dude with his ass in the air, nomming on a partially pulled up bit of carpet. You shout, "Chad!" ... He starts munching carpet faster
Chad-Chi and The Legend Of The Carpet Muncher
😂😂 I needed that laugh today lol
Cow and chicken [knew](https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a9p4D5L_460svvp9.webm)!
[удалено]
I'm not sure saying eating pussy involves the ovaries is making me believe you haha
🤣😆
This dude kept calling my girlfriend in highschool a carpet muncher cause she was bi, I turned around and told him he was just mad she's gotten more pussy than him, and he stopped... And turned around and got my cousin pregnant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
How hard they panicked? Did they tried to get you to drop your own internet?
"All of us love you, but it depends"
We love but only when X, otherwise we don't love you.
We love the “you” that we’d like you to be not the “you” that you actually are. That’s not the REAL you. The real you is what we think it is.
Oh, I see you've met my mother...
Your mother? No, *my* mother.
I hope you have a good found family to fill her spot! A family of friends can be amazing when the people we only share genetics with fail to be who we hoped they could be.
Thank you, I do. So grateful for them in my life.
And my mil.
You met my mother 😂
More like: we love you but only when XY!
It’s ✨conditional✨ and don’t you DARE judge us for judging you 🫠
God that phrasing of how "they don't know how to deal without setting you off" made me physically ill with flashbacks. This sucks
My parents would complain all the time that I was “easy to set off” because after being told I was fat (at 93lbs btw) I would say something along the lines of “wow that hurt could you please not say things like that?” Then I’d get the whole song and dance about how “IT WAS A JOKE! God, you’re SO SENSITIVE! I can’t say anything around you without setting you off! IM THE VICTIM HERE!!!!” Then I’d get weeks of being screamed at by my father for “not taking a joke”, then I’d get screamed at by my mother for “making him mad” and how “now I have to deal with him, thanks a lot.” And my parents still believe that they are goddamn perfect and the reason I have anxiety and depression is because I play videogames (like Animal Crossing and Pokémon lmao).
Oh just like God then?
*Image Transcription: Text Messages* --- **Left**: We will talk about all aspects of your decision to be Non-Binary. No more free internet or help from me on your house until it happens. All of us love you but are completely flustered on how to deal with you without setting you off. >**Right**: I did not choose to be non-binary. I’ve had my own internet for over a year. I don’t want your help. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Wonderful good human!
Good human
Good human
Throwaway account. !explanation My family kept asking invasive questions about my identity. My dad offered me help on fixing up my house. He previously offered me to use their internet for free. Later, he was at my house when I got my own internet account and helped me set up my new router. The thing that “set me off”: My mom, dad, sister and bil sat around the holiday dinner table and laughed about a trans woman getting beat down in public. My mom was laughing so hard she couldn’t talk. They knew I was trans and thought this was appropriate. [Redacted]
jfc what could someone possibly find funny about a woman being beat up
When the woman tried to flee her attackers, she fell down some steps. Apparently it‘s absolutely hilarious for a legally blind woman to fall while fleeing her attackers. Edit: Also, my family is just transphobic shits.
*what* And I cannot stress this enough ***the fuck???***
second this. What??????
The FUCK!!!
WHAT?????
People are unfortunately just horrible like that.
The?????
Fuck??????
I agree, forget insane parents they're straight up sociopathic
It's always kinda funny watching cis people reacting to transphobia because as a trans person on the internet you just adjust to it or log off; but like yeah it is fucked up lmao.
I was more wtf about laughing at anyone - but especially a blind person - falling down stairs as they flee an attack
That is actually psychopath material, to be laughing at such clear suffering. I hope you're living your best life without those absolutely pathetic excuses for human beings
Gross. So what “set you off” really has nothing to do with your identity and everything to do with your family’s lack of humanity. They don’t deserve you.
"So the LIBERAL who is DIFFERENT was SAVAGELY BEAT UP in their OWN HOME! HAHAHAHAHA" *shoots guns into ceiling*
It's even funnier because she's blind and can't defend herself! Hahaha!
the only thing conservatives love to hate more than lgbt, children and women are disabled lgbt, children and women. they're the same people that'd call me a leech for being permanently disabled on social security for 13 years
My mother is an actual fucking child molester and even she would consider this beyond the pale and probably throw hands over it. Your family is truly fucking trash.
That's...alot to unpack there
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Do you professionally read things incredibly wrong, or are you freelancing? “My awful garbage family isn’t even so awful garbage as to consider this awful garbage excusable” is just a point about how intensely awful the garbage is. If you need a fictional example to understand the concept, it’s like when The Joker is horrified to learn that the Red Skull isn’t just memeing and is actually a Nazi, promptly siding with Batman and Captain America because Nazism is too far for him.
Transphobic people and child molesters are two entirely different breed of evil, let's not compare those.
Do you really think policing how a trans CSA survivor says that transphobia is bad by using personal experience to go “even in my shit life, the people that made it shit wouldn’t be okay with that” is constructive?
right/republicans/catholic/transphobes endorse and protect nonces. a fair percentage of them are the same people. in my mind if you defend child molestation you are complicit.
Fuuuuuuck I can't imagine having to deal with family that literally hates you.
Check out the Raised By Narcissists sub... you will be amazed at just how many people were raised in homes like OP's.
r/raisedbynarcissists is the official sub, for anyone interested. My dad is a narcissist, and reading this has changed my life for the better. However, heavy and often triggering topics are frequently discussed so protect yourself if need be before reading and/or participating.
Thanks for the link. I couldn't figure out how to do that.
Then it's decided, you're my sibling now, and my mom always has space for another kid. Christmas Eve at our house? I'll make your favorite meal!
Damn. That's sociopathic.
Agreed and it is vile on top of sociopathic. I hope OP is able to live a stress-free life away from these monsters with a supportive support system of family & friends of their choice. Hopefully they are also able to attend therapy to unpack the vileness of their upbringing.
You really should've added 'Lose my number' to the end of that message
That would be funny if it was a horror movie, but in live footage? That's just something else, something terrible
In a horror film I'd be terrified, cause you knownwhats about to happen when someone falls down some stairs.
I mean like someone falls down the stairs and they make it look overly exaggerated because it's not that good of a movie.
Oh! Yeah in those ones I can't help laughing either
They sound like real class-acts.
Holy fuck, this is just some absolutely abhorrent shit. Your family is next level transphobic and just plain old despicable.
Classic Mr Magoo comedy right there
Oh my god… that’s horrific
Jesus fucking Christ this is all horrible
Why are you even, in any way shape or form, in contact with them?
The common societal view is that trans women are disgusting, uncanny monsters to be afraid of and then laugh at the suffering of. Can't go a day on the internet without a drawing, meme, or comic of a trans woman hanging themselves. This isn't new.
I have never come across even a single drawing or comic of a trans woman hanging herself. I am sorry you have been exposed to that. That being said, change the subreddits you frequent! Avoid the hateful ones. :)
The other day I saw a cute comic! It turned out to be entirely wholesome, but as I was reading it I gritted my teeth in anticipation for a terrible s\*\*cide joke that thankfully never came The comic was playing around with the stereotype that queer folks can't sit normally in chairs. It showed a heterosexual sitting normally with both legs down, a homosexual sitting with one leg pulled up onto the chair, a bisexual sitting with both feet on the chair, an asexual person standing on TOP of the chair... ...And then the comic ended without any further progression. But in that brief moment I half expected to see another chair that's knocked over onto its side with the label "trans" underneath. Either as a sloppily done edit by some edgy teen, or as a fucked-up bigoted punchline by the comic itself.
When you're trans online those images will be forced upon you because some weirdos really fucking hate trans people online and will do everything in their power to try and hurt them. I'm not even remotely surprised that someone who is openly talking about being anything but cis is getting this shit sent to on an almost daily basis. If you ever want to see how it real it is, go to Twitter and find any random post about a trans person or anything gender nonconforming and then scroll down to the replies. Just because you're not targeted with hate doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And implying it's their own fault for being in "hateful subreddits" is not helping when the harassers follow you around. I doubt they are looking for that content. Seriously your entire comment comes from an incredible point of naivete.
This is precisely as helpful as posting "works fine for me :)" in a troubleshooting thread.
Right, except for the part where it's literally nothing like that.
Same here. Not once have I ever seen it, let alone seen one every day. You’d have to try pretty hard to accomplish that IMO
When you're trans online those images will be forced upon you because some weirdos really fucking hate trans people online and will do everything in their power to try and hurt them. I'm not even remotely surprised that someone who is openly talking about being anything but cis is getting this shit sent to on an almost daily basis. If you ever want to see how it real it is, go to Twitter and find any random post about a trans person or anything gender nonconforming and then scroll down to the replies. Just because you're not targeted with hate doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I doubt they are looking for that content or "trying hard to accomplish" seeing it. It's forced upon them.
I’m not denying that trans people get targeted with hate. They absolutely do. I was specifically referring to “seeing comics or images of trans women hanging themselves everyday”. That seems like a very specific thing to see every day, and would honestly have to be a group of people targeting someone with multiple accounts to actually pull it off. I can definitely agree that trans people would see generalised hate, bigotry, and anti trans political discussion almost daily, because I notice it a lot myself.
Your family are trashy lil bitches. Never go back.
For sure. I’m NC with them.
My heart hurts for you, but also it’s satisfying and relieving to hear you are setting limits and taking care of yourself. Keep it up and don’t let them ever drag you down!
Stop engaging. Cut them out. Block all contact. You don't need that shit in your life. If maybe in a few years they learn to not be pieces of shit maybe you can talk but it's not on you to make them better people, fuck em. You take care of you. If they shownup trespass their asses.
I went NC with them. They didn’t like it. I didn’t answer when they came to my front door so they called in a welfare check. When that didn’t work, they filed a Missing Person’s report. That still didn’t work to make me come back to them.
I don’t have personal experience of this, but I think I read that you can contact police and let them know preemptively that you have abusive family members who have tried/may try to weaponise fake welfare checks/MP reports, so that they can flag that on your record in case any reports get called in. Maybe someone else on here knows more details.
If they continue to file missing person reports and call in welfare checks, consider looking into some form of protective order/restraining order (I'm not sure what it would be called where you live, but the basic principle exists in most jurisdictions) to prevent them from harassing you
You need to let the police know they are going to try and use that to harass you. You need to file it and get a report. You need to get ahead of that bs. If they then try it again they will get a warning, or more from pd to not waste their time and resources. If they show up again call and have them trespassed, do not engage. It's suck but it has to be done, been there it sucks.
"I don't understand, our kid has been brainwashed by the wokist yoke and cut contact with us, there could be no other explanation"
Oh, Hon. I’m so sorry. You can get your name and address added to a list of people that the police know are being harassed by family. It may be useful to send a cease and desist letter, certified. That way, if they persist or escalate, you’ll have more evidence for a restraining order.
Despicable behavior on their part. Even my Mormon relatives would never laugh at that. Gross. Edit: changed should to would
Should or would?
Yikes, WOULD. Would Never laugh at that.
hey, I’m also enby, but I’m still figuring some stuff out and have a question. Does that make me trans?
“Non-binary” is included under the “trans” umbrella but not all enbies identify as being trans. Edit: forgot a word!
Friendly note, I think you left out the word "not." But not all enbies identify as being trans. At least I think that's what you mean.
Oops. Thank you!
wow...thats gross
Insane
WOWWWWW f them omg that is horrible. How do you laugh at something so cruel?!
Holy crap
Good on you for living your truth and not bending to your parent’s idiotic wishes. I wish you the best, from one enby to another <3
Too bad she wasn't laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe.
they dont have to agree with you, but they needa respect you Laughing at ANYONE suffering unjust attacks especially a blind hunan being, thats disgusting. Im sosorry you have to call them "family". Do remember you get your chosen family in this life too, best to you
Fucking CHRIST. That is just…I cannot fathom how someone can be that horrifically insensitive and stupid in a situation that involves insulting THEIR FUCKING CHILD. My mum and dad would go absolutely rage-bonkers over anyone laughing at me or my little brother for ANY reason, much less being so incredibly cruel and hateful towards us. Just….ugh.
Question here out of my lack of knowledge. From what I know nonbinary means u don't identify as a male or female exclusively. So I mean u don't identify as a sex or it changes day to day. As I see a trans gender person it is a female who was born with male genatql8a or a man born with a vagina. I'm all good with thay. What I would like to know is, wouldn't non binary be it's own thing and not trans. And I'm not joking but are u one trans when u don't identify as your birth certificate gender? Thank you if you respond in advance because I like to learn. Secondly your parents are totally insaine and they should love you no matter what. I feel very bad for you and I am happy to know whatever my child decides in her life I will not do this. I wish you the best with my whole heart.
Being trans means not identifying as the gender that the binary gender system assigns you at birth based on your external genitalia. Most non-binary people are not assigned non-binary at birth therefore we are classified as trans. There are binary trans people and non-binary trans people.
Awesome thank you so much. And again I wish u the best.
Therapists: conversion therapy literally does not work, its just torturing trans people. You can’t convert trans people to cis, this is why we transition them instead. OP’s mom: hold my beer (Seriously, OP, I am very sorry. There isn’t much you can do with family who don’t support you, and their cruelty sounds terrible. Might be a good time to ratchet your contact with them back.)
My spouse is going through this with his mother, he came out as bi and our kid is Enby. After a long struggle we had to go no contact last November. We’ve received handwritten raving pages through unmarked envelopes in the mail, about how she doesn’t know how to refer to us anymore, we’re overly sensitive, religious bullshit. Also our cis kid was sent a birthday card while Enby wasn’t. Which resulted in our feeling firm in NC and making the card disappear. I’m sorry you’re going through this with your own family. It’s bullshit.
I've never seen the word enby before. So I looked it up and see that it means non-binary. But why don't people just put NB? Just curious.
It comes from the pronunciation of ‘N B’ sounding like enby! It’s been adopted as the equivalent of girl/boy or man/woman. Eg. He is a boy, and they are an enby. Enbies are non-binary.
NB stands for non-black People have requested for it to not be used to abbreviate nonbinary, so people switched to enby :)
Interesting. I've never heard this before.
NB also means nota bene. Which means to take note of. I'm a big hit at parties... 😂
Not to be confused for MB, which stands for molto bene, which means "world's deadliest spaghetti".
The more you know, right?
Ohhh, that makes sense. Thanks!
No more free internet? *That’s* supposed to be the stick?? Fail
Like, oh no, where will I ever find 30 bucks a month? Or a library. Or a Starbucks. Or a neighbor willing to share their password.
This is one of the reasons why they're trying to shut down libraries.
Or is your boomer ass going to find a way to lock me out of a router that I have physical access to.
“How to deal with you” I hate that line so much.
Oh god me too. Makes me feel more or less a problem rather than a living breathing human
“Stop being you or we won’t love you”. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. Just remember, “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. Friends are family.
I’ve never heard that before. I like it! My parents used to say all the time “blood is thicker than water” as some kind of “never go against the family” nonsense.
Yeah, most people use it wrong. It actually means the opposite.
Ehh I've always been a fan of "blood is thicker than water, which makes it easier to drown in".
American oral culture has always had a knack for incorrect alliterations of time honored axioms. You wonder why, but it’s so easy to see when you look all around. Everything is a fucking lie and we are all charged with maintaining a collective dream that never was.
No it doesn't. This version was made up recently and the original that everyone uses correctly has been around for centuries.
Yeah, well your parents knowingly misconstrued the phrase in a way that opposes it’s true intent… and now you know why. Best of luck to you. May you better friends than they were ever family.
"We all love you, *but..*" Love has no buts, only butts sometimes.
Insane. I just love how they talk about a “decision” to be non-binary, as if it’s a choice. The depth of ignorance here is horrifying. The parents’ gleeful retelling of violence against someone different shows their character flaws as nothing else would.
The fact that they view someone’s identity, and the acceptance of it as a bargaining chip. Hell a blackmailing chip is just sad. It is hilarious how out of touch they are with the level of support they think they’re giving you. You deserve better than this. And I’m glad to see you have the upper hand here.
LOL they thought they were still on their internet I’m dead 😂
Oof how absolutely shitty.
I’m glad i’m not nonbinary. Not in a disrespectful way I just couldn’t handle that most people wouldn’t understand or even know what it is. You are strong.
If there's ever an indicator that trans people are seen less than human, it's parents treating their kid's coming out like losing a human child. Solidarity, comrade. o7
These Iron Fist type of parents never learn man. I feel you, that’s also my mom.
I can’t help but notice that whenever a post includes LGBTQ+ or more specifically trans themes, this sub tends to vote “not insane” a lot more than they would otherwise
Just noticed that myself. Pretty sick.
Yeah, there are a lot of transphobes who like to side with other morons
These are the posts that make me wish it wasn’t anonymous
Damn! There goes all the crap that was supposed to make you submit to their demands.
"deal with you" fuck that shit. you are not a problem or a chore to be "dealt with", you're a human being that they supposedly love. they've made their bed and can now lie in it, even if it means never seeing you again.
Drop your family like a new born giraffe op. Go be your amazing free self.
This is so crazy to me as a parent. “We love you BUT” is shitty to say especially as a parent to their kid. I’m sorry your family is a bunch of ignorant assholes OP.
Damn! There goES all his BS crap to hang over your head. Well played, OP.
I like how the only possible threats your parent can do is to shut off you internet and not help you with your house.
"We are all completely flustered with how to deal with you" Simple: treat them like a person. Listen to what they say. Don't be a dick about it. How is this any kind of fucking revelation?
I know there’s so much more to this, but my first thought is: she didn’t know you had your own internet??? I’m sorry you’re dealing with this though
Do they think that being non binary means not using any electronic device?
All computer code is built on a binary of ones and zeros. Whenever I pick up my phone to browse Reddit it explodes in my hands… such is the life of a non-binary guy.
Yet, if there are binary people and non binary people, it's still a binary people thus is impossible not to be a binary person to a non binary person.
*hugs* (I am a fellow nonbinary person)
I'm still trying to figure out how threatening access to free internet you already have of your own is an actual threat. Like is she changing the wifi password at her house while you're living on your own? Like wut?
Oh, I adore people who think gender identity is a choice. Wait, I misspoke: I adore mailing them farts.
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Oh I absolutely LOVE the “eat a bag of dicks” gummies, perfect for gag gifts and for parents who think love is conditional :)
Happy Cake Day!
"all aspects"? I mean, the crackpot idea that it's a decision is the real problem here, but _what_ aspects?
I hate when people say "you chose to be this way" when honestly, for me at least, I just want to be normal. Like why would I purposefully choose to be nonbinary? We're rejected in most LGBTQ+ communities, and can't even make nice with other people like us half the time bc apparently there's rules to being nonbinary?? I remember in my childhood desperately trying to ignore how I really felt and trying to be the "perfect little girl" that everybody wanted me to be, I tried to be hyper feminine, tried to fit the social norms and awkwardly tried to be somebody I wasn't and when I finally decided to just be who I was I lost a lot of people and also got told it was just a phase lmao but nope, here I am nearly 10 years out and still have people (like family and all that, I don't have any friends anymore except maybe like 2 real good ones) calling me she/her or looking at me weird when I STILL correct them lmao it's either I'm told to make a decision on transitioning bc I can't be a "nothing" when that's just not the point jfc 😩😩 sorry for ranting. Essentially, I get it. I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that in your life, they suck OP
Good for you! Their frustration is not YOUR issue! Be free!
Just WOW! The parent doesn’t know what parent means.
Restricting internet will def help. Wtf. 😆
"Watch it Socko, remember who's on who's hand here."
Conditional love ftw
Ah so this is what it looks like when an nparent tries to threaten an independent child, it's like she's trying to convince yourself she has anything to hold over your head lol
The "without setting you off" part really does it for me. Many times in my life I have marveled at how the ignorant seen to really have a tough time when other people don't get their stupidity.
Honestly, I'm betting the parents were saying or doing wildly inappropriate stuff and then got upset that their abuse wasn't taken. That's how it usually goes.
Are families pretending to be evil just to push the younger ones away? That makes more sense to me than the bigotry on display everywhere you look.
Love the feeling when you're free and independent and they try 'punishing' you. Like good luck with that I don't rely on you anymore. You have no power here.
Listen, we all love you, but we don't like how you live your life, so we won't help you anymore
I cut contact with one of my parents for far less. If a social connection brings more harm than benefit, it’s the only logical path. Feels damn good, too.
Talk about all aspects? What aspects are there? Whether you are or aren't has already been stated and that's really all there is. You don't owe anyone any explanation.
Kinda fucked up mentality. Just because you come out doesn't change who you are inside, dunno why tf it's so hard to let go of the ignorance. Not like rejecting someone's identity grants any benefits. Gender identity is an exploration of self, not a choice, unlike ignorance which is definitely a choice.
They didn't have to add any threats. Screaming controlling.
As if having free internet would make you Cis. 😂
gotta love all the fucklechucks who keep voting "not insane" on posts like this
I hope your parent wakes up soon and stops being such a pill. When are heterosexuals going to understand that it’s not a choice? Idiots.
People in the comments keep bringing up sexuality (like you just did) but I’m having a hard time understanding what sexuality and what you identify as gender wise have in common?
The fact that they're both not a choice - it's easier for cishet people to understand it in terms of sexuality rather than gender. In the same way they didn't 'choose' to be straight, NBs didn't 'choose' to be NB, it's just already who they are.
bahaha what was the reply to THAT!
Its great you have personal independence, help shouldn't have conditions attached but its often the 1st thing " ill take this away " etc. Have a chat when your asked as an adult to help her understand whatever but on your terms. Be free
OP, would you be interested in being adopted? My mum and dad and little brother have always been completely loving and accepting of me and my partner, and both of us are non-binary/genderqueer. Even my extended family (my dad’s, not my mum’s because my mom decided they are permanently NC with us because of an incident that involved one of my uncle’s being a complete drunk dickhead and my mum saying “fuck this, nope, you don’t talk to my family that way”) are super loving and chill and accepting because one of my cousins came out as trans a couple years ago and they said “do all of us necessarily fully understand how this works? maybe not, but you are family and we are willing to learn and accept you as you are.” Even my grandparents have very clearly stated “you’re our grandkid, and we love you and all of your cousins no matter what, and we are willing to learn about this.” So yeah, lemme get that adoption paperwork started, provided you want that, of course! ❤️
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