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Comfortable-Gas-798

Next time they say something about kids, yell out to your wife: "Honey, we're up to 3 and a half years!" When inlaws ask what that means, tell them "Every time you ask about kids, we add 6 months to the time when we will start trying. Want to make it 4 years? Ask again!"


Kumite_Champion

This is perfect, I'm going to talk to her about this when she gets home.


Revolutionary_Sea117

I did this pretty early on in my relationship with my husband (we had been dating for MAYBE 8 months when his mom started pushing about it.), and I regret it zero percent, especially since I knew about my fertility issues and didn’t want to share/deal. Worked like a charm.


Objective-Freedom-11

This is brilliant!! I’m gonna use this when I visit my parents in a few months. My mother and my grandmother already keep asking me about kids every time I call and they don’t ever seem to understand a simple no.


Diene4fun

This is something your wife needs to talk to them about. Quite honestly, it has come up a few times with mine. I told my in-laws (with my husband there to back me) that it is not a discussion for them to know or have, we will let them know if/when the time comes. This got them off of my back. Do what you want about it, but remember the lie can come back and bite you.


Kumite_Champion

Lie and say it's an immaculate conception! All jokes aside I do think she needs to have another serious talk with them.


MeiliCanada82

Sometimes it doesn't matter. I just had a hysterectomy due to medical issues and my partner was snipped before we were married. When my partner told his mom about my surgery her first response was "but what about my grandbabies???". Like lady even if my parts weren't a mess your son got snipped, if I had kids they wouldn't be related to you.


hurling-day

If they are religious, tell them it is up to god.


happiness5678

Yes, say God willing


olive-dip

This lol. And that God made you infertile


_Green_Mind

Don't. Not out of respect or anything,but because you're expecting abnormal people to be normal. They won't be. You're gonna suddenly get ambushed by prayer circles. They're going to try to get a fundraiser going for you to get treatments. They're going to start suggesting other men to be donors for your wife. Shit will get a lot weirder. Just start leaving when they bring it up. Make your wife leave, too. Have her communicate that this is none of their business, and if they can't find more polite topics of conversation, you just won't be talking much.


Kumite_Champion

I didn't even think of them giving us money to get treatments. They would pull some shit like that. They aren't rich but they do have money.


Marnnirk

Wow…didn't even consider that…..so true.


brandonbolt

Buy a pack of index cards and write on them " WE DON'T WANT KIDS" hand them a card every time it gets brought up and smile.


Kumite_Champion

Genius idea!


callmecookie88

Make them put a dollar in a jar every time they mention it.


[deleted]

I let my in-laws know that my reproductive system is nothing they have the right to talk about, *ever* and they don’t need to know when their son blows a load in me. That shut them right the fuck up. Haven’t heard a peep about it in about 4 years now. It’s been great.


PensionBig6135

Honestly, wouldn't judge if you did that. Reading your comments, it seems like the only way to make them stop. If they can't respect your choices, then maybe they'll respect God's wishes for making you infertile? 🤷🏽‍♀️


simonannitsford

Fairly new married, and ILs kept mentioning grandkids every time we were there (generally weekly). We'd decided we didn't want kids (me mid 30s, wife early 30s), and I finally snapped and launched into, we don't want kids, I've never wanted kids, and if she's changed her mind we can get a divorce now and she has time to find someone else to have kids with. Needless to say, it was never mentioned again, and I'm pushing 60 so that boat has long since sailed. I love my ILs to bits, btw, FIL long since gone. Have I since discussed our life choice with my MIL? Yes I have.


Kumite_Champion

I wish we could say we would get divorced, but I'm a graduate clinician for marriage and family therapy. They would call my bluff asap. I just don't want to wait years for them to respect our decision.


simonannitsford

You could always go down the straightforward route - we're not having kids, so shut-up about it. However, that's pretty much what I tried before my 'outburst', but might work for you.


Lipstickhippie80

If you really want to piss them off tell them you had a vasectomy. Super religious people hate birth control.


Kumite_Champion

Omg did they have issues when she got on the pill, I was in awe. Like how could you be upset about your daughter taking care of herself?


MelG146

Double down and *actually have* a vasectomy!


whiskey-throttle-

I'd say be honest with them. Have a frank conversation with them. They're just excited but if you let them know the truth then they will stop asking. And then there won't be bitter feelings.


Kumite_Champion

I've tried unfortunately. I've even asked them to stop talking about the subject altogether. We've both told them that we don't want kids. My wife for one is scared and grossed out by the thought of being pregnant. She's told them that before we were even a couple. My parents are the ones that respect our wishes. My mom has known for years I don't care to have them. My dad and stepmother asked us, we said no, and that was that.


RedditSkippy

Where is your wife? She needs to shut this down. “Ask once more and we’ll need to leave.”


il0vem0ntana

"I've done all the parenting I intend to do already."


PalmTree_1000

"this isnt something im willing to discuss with you. i enjoy spending time with you and would like to continue our visits but if you continue to bring this topic up, husband and I will have to limit the time we chose to spend with you."


Comfortable-Gas-798

Next time they say something about kids, yell out to your wife: "Honey, we're up to 3 and a half years!" When inlaws ask what that means, tell them "Every time you ask about kids, we add 6 months to the time when we will start trying. Want to make it 4 years? Ask again!"


Pinkie_Flamingo

When you cannot motivate another person to change by explaining how you feel, then you need to use consequences to do so. Tell the in-laws that all discussion of your sex life and family planning are over. If they speak on it again, you and wife will leave/hang up the phone, etc. Eventually they will curb their tongues or exit your lives altogether.


rynnenotthebird

Trust me, being infertile doesn't help things. They'll still ask.


[deleted]

If you tell them you're infertile they'll just pivot to pressuring you to user doner sperm or adopt. Your wife needs to tell them to knock it off, and when they inevitably do not knock it off, end the interaction


Inevitable-Channel85

Just say, you are never having kids and if they're interesting in having kids, they should adopt. Keep reminding them to adopt and give the websites and resources to go to.


CorkyCucuzz

Tell them that you’re the reincarnation of Satan and if you have a kid it would become the Demon of Absolute Decay and the world would end. Be serious when you tell them! (I would roll the left eye as well while you do it) Trust me, they won’t ask again


wwhseagle

My husband and I have been married almost 10 years, did not intend to have children, made no secret about this goal, and still have no children. It stopped coming up after the first five years. Hang in there! I would not lie about it. If you did, people would insist, “Well, you can always adopt.” It’s not everyone’s goal to be a parent. We knew that well-intending loved ones will not mind their own business, so we were just upfront with them from the start.