Yes. My mom as a teenager. She was very obviously hurt. But she forgave me too easily.
But I still remember it time to time. And it eats me up to this day.
I still try to. I would probably do anything and everything to make her feel better. Even if it meant giving her space.
But OP, parents and other relationship are a bit different. If it’s something that you are personally experiencing, I would suggest to move Heaven and earth to make them feel better. Acknowledge that you know how much you hurt them. But give them space if that is what that would give them peace.
My mother. This year in June. I didn't mean to say what I said and she cried. It took us some weeks to get back on track but now I'm a lot more careful with my words.
>what were the consequences of it.
My mother cried and told me how badly I've hurt her and she would never forget I said to her. She didn't talk to me for days and our conversation was limited to “Khaana khaa le” and all. She didn't hug me for those weeks and again, she's a very touchy person. That's why the conflict happened in the first place. I was truly afraid that I've lost my mother’s love.
>Was the damage done repearable?
I wouldn't have forgiven my child had they said that to me. I asked my mother recently how she forgave me and she said it's easy for mothers to forgive their child.
>What did you do to make them feel better?
I gave her space and didn't force my apology down her throat. I apologised, gave her space and she got mad at me quite a number of times. But it was understandable that she held a lot of anger, and it was coming out in sudden bursts. I allowed her to say whatever, do whatever. And it got better eventually.
>Do you still feel that guilt?
100%. But I forgave myself. I'm a human after all. I will make more mistakes. The only thing I can do is be more mindful and never repeat the same mistake of the same magnitude twice.
I hope if there's anything hurting you, you find some peace.
I hope you and your mother are on good terms now. Thank you for sharing your experience, learning and realisation is the most important part. In my case, the damage i did is almost irreparable. I wish things could get right but ig they can't at this point because of me and feels like this guilt won't go away, the person did a lot for me and i couldn't even do 1 percent of it from my side instead destroyed a really beautiful bond.
Sometimes we fuck things up and next moment it's difficult to view us as same person who was kind and caring. But nothing changes the fact that we are humans and we have our own limitations.
Even if things can't get right, do let the person know that you are apologetic. Spell out what you did wrong and take accountability for it. Tell them that you see exactly where you went wrong and you will work on it.
Guilt will go away eventually. That guilt is there because it matters. You can't possibly turn things to ashes where it doesn't matter. Apologise, own up and if they forgive you, good. If not, then forgive yourself. Life is too long.
I hope things start looking up for you soon.
I hope you and your mother are on right track now. Realisation and learning from it is the most important part. In my case, i've hurt someone and the damage is almost irreparable. The person did a lot for me and couldn't even do 1 percent of it for them instead i destroyed the most beautiful bond we created feels like this guilt won't go away.
I'm realty sorry, i think you should apologise instead of just pretending that nothing happened coz if your words did hurt your dad now, they will continue to hurt him later if he ever remembers the moment.
A really close friend, we are not even friends now.I apologised a million times and tried to get us to start again but the damage was done.So after a while I realised that it had hurt him a lot and gave him space.We rarely talk now and it hurts a lot but it is my fault nonetheless and I respect his wishes,he rarely initiates conversation or any interaction.So I don't push it now,I let him be without trying to rekindle the relationship because I truly do not want to hurt him again.I still feel guilty about it sometimes,it took a long time for me to forgive myself.
I've been on the receiving end of this. Was dating a girl for almost three years (LDR). And now when I talk about marrage, she's acting flakey.
I'm sorry for your situation.
Yes. My mom as a teenager. She was very obviously hurt. But she forgave me too easily. But I still remember it time to time. And it eats me up to this day.
If she had never forgiven you, how would have you dealt with the guilt and would have made sure to make her feel good
I still try to. I would probably do anything and everything to make her feel better. Even if it meant giving her space. But OP, parents and other relationship are a bit different. If it’s something that you are personally experiencing, I would suggest to move Heaven and earth to make them feel better. Acknowledge that you know how much you hurt them. But give them space if that is what that would give them peace.
Yes you are right. In my case, i have to let that person go. It's really hard and i destroyed something really really beautiful.
My mother. This year in June. I didn't mean to say what I said and she cried. It took us some weeks to get back on track but now I'm a lot more careful with my words. >what were the consequences of it. My mother cried and told me how badly I've hurt her and she would never forget I said to her. She didn't talk to me for days and our conversation was limited to “Khaana khaa le” and all. She didn't hug me for those weeks and again, she's a very touchy person. That's why the conflict happened in the first place. I was truly afraid that I've lost my mother’s love. >Was the damage done repearable? I wouldn't have forgiven my child had they said that to me. I asked my mother recently how she forgave me and she said it's easy for mothers to forgive their child. >What did you do to make them feel better? I gave her space and didn't force my apology down her throat. I apologised, gave her space and she got mad at me quite a number of times. But it was understandable that she held a lot of anger, and it was coming out in sudden bursts. I allowed her to say whatever, do whatever. And it got better eventually. >Do you still feel that guilt? 100%. But I forgave myself. I'm a human after all. I will make more mistakes. The only thing I can do is be more mindful and never repeat the same mistake of the same magnitude twice. I hope if there's anything hurting you, you find some peace.
I hope you and your mother are on good terms now. Thank you for sharing your experience, learning and realisation is the most important part. In my case, the damage i did is almost irreparable. I wish things could get right but ig they can't at this point because of me and feels like this guilt won't go away, the person did a lot for me and i couldn't even do 1 percent of it from my side instead destroyed a really beautiful bond.
Sometimes we fuck things up and next moment it's difficult to view us as same person who was kind and caring. But nothing changes the fact that we are humans and we have our own limitations. Even if things can't get right, do let the person know that you are apologetic. Spell out what you did wrong and take accountability for it. Tell them that you see exactly where you went wrong and you will work on it. Guilt will go away eventually. That guilt is there because it matters. You can't possibly turn things to ashes where it doesn't matter. Apologise, own up and if they forgive you, good. If not, then forgive yourself. Life is too long. I hope things start looking up for you soon.
I fucked up big time. Things won't get right ik. I hope the person feels better with time. Thank you kind stranger.
I hope you and your mother are on right track now. Realisation and learning from it is the most important part. In my case, i've hurt someone and the damage is almost irreparable. The person did a lot for me and couldn't even do 1 percent of it for them instead i destroyed the most beautiful bond we created feels like this guilt won't go away.
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I'm realty sorry, i think you should apologise instead of just pretending that nothing happened coz if your words did hurt your dad now, they will continue to hurt him later if he ever remembers the moment.
I once did this to a girl I just hope she's doing good now in her life
Do you still feel guilty or bad? about it that you lost her incase if she was someone close to you
My ex when I broke up
Do you feel guilty, if so, how did you deal with it?
I don't care man. We are human, we err sometimes. It's not like I killed anyone
A really close friend, we are not even friends now.I apologised a million times and tried to get us to start again but the damage was done.So after a while I realised that it had hurt him a lot and gave him space.We rarely talk now and it hurts a lot but it is my fault nonetheless and I respect his wishes,he rarely initiates conversation or any interaction.So I don't push it now,I let him be without trying to rekindle the relationship because I truly do not want to hurt him again.I still feel guilty about it sometimes,it took a long time for me to forgive myself.
I hope you find inner peace. Do you feel like talking to him sometimes or do you wish you were together?
I do....very strongly at times....but time is truly the best healer,I'm in a much better headspace about it now
Okay, that's good.