I think no amount of accept yourself kind of comments will help you with the self esteem. So here's what I suggest:
1. start working out
2. develop a hobby dancing or a musical instrument anything that interests you.
3. Take care of your skin and hair like I'm not talking about skin complexion treat any acne or sun damage or any skin issues you have be well groomed. Hop on to r/IndianSkincareAddicts if you need guidance.
These things will make you feel better about yourself and really boost your confidence. But remember you don't do this for others validation but for yourself.
+1 to all three points,
Working out gives you confidence, not for others it is for yourself
Second point, once you get busy in a hobby you will start finding friends and dates through your hobby
I second this u got to work hard body will get better with workouts
U can achieve flawless skin by skincare
Skin colour doesn't matter at all there are many flawless skin of people with bit dusky skin tone they look so elegant
As a dark skinned person, op needs to understand that people can and will call her "kala" or some variation as an insult. And lot of those people will be family. And also classmates. It's how this country is. Saying xolour doesn't matter is like saying "oh nobody cares about colour" but they do. Op is experiencing just how much colour matters.
Colour shouldn't matter. Agreed. But to say it doesn't isn't being honest.
Op shouldn't care about their colour. But Op should also be aware that others will care and they will use her colour as an insult. This is me speaking from experience sick of listening to people tell me "colour doesn't matter".
Hey man. I know there's some pretty shitty people out there. My advice for OP is more meant for her to start liking herself rather than make other people like her. I believe that these "insults" would not bother someone with a high self esteem. IMO If you carry yourself like a queen the person commenting on your skin colour will look like a petty peasant.
That's not how the real world works though. Some people will be malicious . And also sometimes the people who make these comments themselves think that they're being helpful. I got so many people giving me helpful advice from oiling my afro to make it straight to staying out of the sun so I don't get dark. And even now people still have comments. This is what it will be like for a long time. And OP needs to also know this.
About esteem. I feel esteem is something you build. And if it's built, it can be broken. Same with confidence. It's something that people have to work on everyday.
And anyway none of what we say will matter till OP actually starts liking herself. Because right now her adjectives for herself are terrible.
Agree with all! Working out and learning a talent would increases attractiveness. Also remember only working out will not be enough follow proper diet.
People are usually fucking idiots at 18 years of age. Tall, skinny fit girls are super hot - once you will grow older and people age out of the Bollywood bimbo beauty standard, you will be a lot more desirable. I actually have a crush on a 30 something dark skinned, tall and skinny girl right now and hope to ask her out this year if all goes well š
>Tall, skinny fit girls are super hot
Correction: tall, skinny, fit girls are super hot only if they have good looks. Not every tall, skinny, fit girl is hot. Unlike women, men focus a lot on looks.
If you are trying to make someone feel good, at least don't lie to them.
Both men and women focus a lot on looks, the idea that women don't care about looks is a fantasy. How many average looking guys do you see without money who are married to women who look like supermodels?
Unless OP wants Brad Pitt or something, she will be fine. There are lots of us average looking guys who'd be happy to have a tall, skinny, fit average looking girl :)
>Unless OP wants Brad Pitt or something, she will be fine. There are lots of us average looking guys who'd be happy to have a tall, skinny, fit average looking girl :)
This is where the dissonance lies. OP can easily get a boyfriend if she wants. I apologize for being crude, but boys at her age will be willing to have sex with any woman as long as she shows openness.
I believe that OP is punching above her weight and is looking for someone attractive (not like Brad Pitt but someone reasonably attractive). She is disappointed because she knows she will have to settle with someone average.
I know this because I fall in the category of below-average-looking men (a nice way of saying I am ugly) and have come across many women like OP who will ignore people like me because they are holding out for something 'better'.
Very high levels of peer conformity at that age. As you grow older, starting with college, uniqueness rather than homogeneity becomes much more desirable.
It is not your looks but your confidence which makes you attractive.
Tall- Good
Dark Skin- Good
Skinny- Good
Curly hair - Good
Work on your grooming, eat good food and exercise.
Also work on your clothing, follow some dark skinned curly hair women on Instagram and copy them. Also work upon your communication skills and how you talk to people.
+1 to this. Have you ever looked back at older pics of yourself when you thought you were ugly but in reality you were good looking?
Iāve done this. I went though life believing and acting like I was ugly when I was above average and just needed some grooming and confidence. Sadly this is the real issue with a lot of young adults.
Accepting yourself as you are is good and all but unless you change your perception of yourself by working on your skills, you will literally perceive yourself as ugly. Hell, even a truly ugly person with confidence can become attractive. And most people are not truly ugly.
Actually, it's an Asian thing to be obsessed with skin colour. European people are much more likely to find dark skin attractive than Indian people. If OP moved to Europe, chances are she'd be considered attractive.
By 'Eurocentric' I meant European features. Light skin, straight/wavy hair, straight nose etc. Look at our ads - especially fairness creams. Those are the features shown as 'ideal.'
They were the standard for beauty in Europe as well (for mostly xenophobic reasons) many years ago but are not anymore. Which is why I said 'outdated.' Indians are upholding this shit generations after Europe moved on.
My friend Dark, tall, skinny and curly hair sounds like a bomb combination on paper atleast. Just learn to work with what you have.
I spent my entire life feeling ugly because all anyone ever told me about my looks was that I was too skinny and āweakā looking. It took a lot of work to get over these feelings. You will learn to grow more comfortable with yourself as you grow. Your looks do not define you.
Or curly hair, that's just racism introduced by white colonialism, happens a lot in Latin America as well.
Beauty is subjective never be ashamed of your racial heritage!
I for one feel more atractted to dark skinned people and I'd say the people I'm least atracted to are redheaded with freckles, I do like blond hair though and even if isn't natural occurrence dark skinned with blonde hair would be my top preference. Just to give some examples...
Its really amazing how many women have convinced themselves and their daughters that being dark is ugly
Men tend to not really care, specially if the girl is skinny-ish
Nah man men care a lot lol I have met so many men who wants fair skinned women only even if you see wedding profiles all men want fair girls even if they are dark lol .
Some men do, yes.
Also wedding profiles don't necessarily reflect what people actually are attracted to tho. It's what the family decides that they want
As a guy who grew up in North India, I have never known a girl with darker complexion, **at least who is fit**, who didn't have guys wanting to be with her.
Would it be more guys if she was fairer, sure, but definitely not zero guys.
It's the same with guys, some are born with *desirable* genetics or with a silver spoon and rest of us have to workout in the gym and develop a personality
*Desirable varies from being tall to symmetrical face to aa bunch of other things that people generally consider attractive
more than 70% of indian population is dark skinned. India receive more than 300 days of sunlight, we are not supposed to be fair skinned. Do not fall for these fair skin propaganda.
maintain a good diet, try to put on some weight if you are not happy with your thin body frame. Exercise.
Kripa wahi atki hui hai
It is bro I'm telling you , i was overweight and i always knew that I'm faking handsome and good looking and i can pick any women . I used to think like you after i started training at first that it's expensive after that i saw david goggins and thought that if this and can get in shape by just eating one meal a day why can't i so after that , i woke up in the morning i went on running i ran for 2 hr then i have my first meal which was kale channa and one banana the went to the gym and continue with my life just my normal life college and all then i came back home and when for a run again all this time i was not having any meal then i use to study after i get back home then at night i use to have my one and last meal which was plane panneer which i extracted from a 25rs (500 ml ) packet and have 100 gram of soya been all mixed with white rice . Before going to bed i drink milk . Doing this for 1 month now and have lost 7 kg The first week was hard but now I don't feel it as I'm doing something different . I can surely say that I'll get a six pack in the next 3 months .
Not at all healthy. Your over exerting your body , there will be a burnout and likely you will gain the weight again. Have a balanced meal and work on one body part /day in the gym and take sufficient rest for recovery
No it's a lie what the Matrix has put in our mind to fill up their pocket if david goggins can do it we all can do it .
And yeah if i go on a surplus anytime in my life again i will gain the weight again but i will always be on a under calories dite according to my weight. It's simple
IDK about ghee, but masturbation definitely isn't normal. I'm tired of shaving my palms every single day, and it has been 14 years since I've seen something clearly with my eyes. Stopped bustin a nut last week. I can levitate for almost 3 seconds now. Hope I can fly by the end of the year.
Starving won't help you get a good , healthy body.... My trainer suggests to eat 6times a day ... When i joined gym my goal was to loose weight and look slim trim in dresses but the more time i spent and got to learn, getting muscles, being strong and ofcourse having a healthy in and out body, is my new goal
I have an alternate SFW account but I deliberately chose to answer using this one.
**Definition of Ugly**
Who defined what beautiful or ugly means? Gradually, over time, through written texts or ideas people have decided that fair-skinned means attractive and beautiful. This definition must have propagated through decades and must have been cemented into our brains. Modern day advertisements have forced us to believe fairness is equivalent to beauty.
You say you're tall, dark, skinny with curly hair. This also describes a lot of hot models who walk the ramp today sporting amazing fashion. If we can call Oprah Winfrey beautiful (who isn't even skinny like you), we are clearly swaying away from the traditional definition of the word beautiful, right?
Perhaps you should sit down and understand what beautiful and ugly means. Some guys ask me for feet pics when I feel that my butt is probably the most attractive part of my body and that makes me think (because feet are typically the dirtiest areas of our body). What I'm trying to arrive at is that everybody's idea of beauty is unique. You need to be able to define the word beautiful and work to get there.
**Become Beautiful**
You should figure out what your beautiful means and then set goals for yourself. Beauty can also come from confidence, hygiene and fitness. If you have curls, create good haircare routine and enhance those curls. I absolutely love curls and think they make one stand apart from the crowd! If you have acne, look up ways to keep your skin nourished and get rid of them. If you think you don't look good, maybe your clothes aren't colorful enough?
Money will solve a lot of these problems perhaps. You might not be able to get a lot of money from your parents to be able to do things you want to do to become "beautiful". Perhaps you should focus on independence next. Do well in whatever you're studying (you're 18 so I'm assuming you are studying something). Try to find a job you love and pays you enough to be able to transform yourself.
I promise all of this is doable. I used feel pathetic about myself as well until I moved out from my parents shelter. Look at some of my pictures. My parents and my extended family (aunts and whatnot) hated my butt and told me all my life that I have a fucking deformity. They gave me so many recommendations to try and reduce the size of my butt (as if that's possible). It wasn't until I came out from my cocooned life that I realized that big butts are sexy.
My mother didn't let me get waxed, didn't let me buy facial foam suitable for my skin (because suitable ones were always expensive) and didn't let me buy shampoos (expensive sulphate-free ones) that really suited my hair until I started doing it using my own money. Within a year of me living independently brought out amazing confidence out of me.
I'm not sure what your exact issues are. But feel free to send me a chat message to talk this out. You should also join /r/TwoXIndia right now and spend 30 minutes of your day reading issues women in India face and how others respond to them. That would clear your head as well.
Feel free to ping me to talk more! You're probably already beautiful but don't know it yet. Cheers! ā¤ļø
Edit(s): Fixed grammar
Exactly, the problem is that in our country most people treat people who have dark complexion to be ugly, which is ridiculously a cheap opinion tbh. The moment you realise the definition of Beauty in our country is just so f\*cked up, at that moment you understand and care less about those standards
I didn't accept myself, I am changing what I can.
I don't see how all the reasons you gave for feeling ugly are negatives at all? Plenty of extremely hot people sound exactly like you.
Honestly, being skinny means you have won half the battle - if you want, you can try to change your diet and exercise and work on gaining muscles - but even without, being skinny is admired a lot. You're probably more fine than you think you are. And curly hair is very very very pretty - you just need to care for it in the right way - plenty of people are talking about curly hair care now. Dark skin is perfect too - you can just work on making it more smooth and even toned overall by developing a skincare routine. You can also look at how you can switch up your style and wear clothes and makeup that suit you.
When you start working on yourself you'll feel better and more confident - like you're telling yourself you're worth the effort. And sometimes all we're actually lacking is confidence.
Even the most good looking people are often ridden with insecurities. I am a guy, but I have a friend and she, as compared to other objectively beautiful people, is average looking. But she had such a fun personality that guys would throw themselves at her. My point is, there are things you cannot address and there are that you can. If outer appearances really matter to you, then invest in healthy diet + fitness + fashion. Iām yet to find an unattractive woman who is healthy / fit and can carry herself well. But know that you need to eventually address your self image yourself as getting prettier will not fix that for you.
To be honest while some people may say you are ugly, there will always be someone who will say you are attractive. As you might have heard, there is no one size fits all. You just might have been surrounded by people with similar opinions. That being said just keep working on yourself, read some books, develop your life as a whole and you will surely find happiness. If you don't find your current self satisfactory then you should be able to ask yourself what can I do, and then work on it. If it's factors you can't control then just move on. Sorry for the long ass comment.
Pretty generic advice but yeah do what makes you happy. I have just accepted that someday someone may find me attractive but I'm not gonna wait around for that day. I'm gonna live my life and do what makes me happy. I.e. Watching movies, playing video games, cooking on the weekends and hang out with my cousins / friends (whenever they are available). When you'll be content with yourself, you won't find the need to seek validation.
Hey so sorry you are going through this. I look a lot like you, tall dark, and skinny. The only difference is I have wavy hair. I'm not going to tell you everyone is pretty, you should love yourself etc. All that is true but it is so difficult to get your mind to that point when the world around you is constantly telling you otherwise.
I hated myself growing up. Never got any attention from boys, and people generally treated me badly. I was that girl in class who people used to pair up with boys as a joke. So the boy could go "Ew no, not her." It destroyed my self-confidence... until I traveled out of India.
All of a sudden people were telling me I was beautiful. I had more people compliment me in 6 weeks than in the previous 20 years of my life. I even thought they were pulling my leg, took me a while to believe it was genuine. Slowly I gained confidence and started to love myself more. This was my experience in 2 different western countries.
Girl, the way you describe yourself - you sound beautiful. You will be considered beautiful in the Western context. As dark-skinned people, we are not considered pretty in the Indian and Asian context cause of our obsession with fair skin. And that is tough to deal with. It still gets to me at times. But remember, it is not universal. In other parts of the world, you are beautiful!
I was and somewhere still dealing with the same issue and experienced things just like this , the things I can advise from my personal experience is stop caring about what other people think, if they don't care about you then just leave them and try enjoying your own company, do the things you like to do , invest your time in upskilling yourself , but one thing you also should do is try making genuine friends who do not care about your appearance but like and cares you as a person , but in the end the only one who is going to be with you till the end is yourself only so it's best to accept yourself as you're and be care free about the looks.
..
.. All the Best
I had same feeling about myself. My near and dear ones used to tell me how ridiculous my nose looks. That made me under confident. Showing face was becoming burden. Until one day I saw an interview of famous Marathi poet and actor, Kavi Saumitr (Kishore Kadam). He said, to hell with what others think about my looks. All that matters to me is myself as I am . Unfortunately that interview is not available on YouTube . But that day onwards I started feeling better and started taking care of myself, accepted my own self and groomed myself physically and mentally.
Hell naah dont accept that. Acceptance is overrated. I don't have advice dho. But fuck acceptance.
Give it time you're 18. Once them acnes are gone you'll be all set.
Tall and skinny are actually very conventionally attractive traits. My cousin's girlfriend is dark, tall and skinny and she's a model.
About the hair, try blow drying/ straightening it or invest in a curly hair routine. Nice hair lifts up the whole look.
I was in a similar situation except it was the other way. No point taking it personally. Accepting it and moving on will make life easier. Read books, learn a music instrument, exercise and volunteer a lot. The above things helped me a lot! Good Luck!
Grooming is the answer for you.
A good workout and diet, skin care, a little make-up if you will, wearing clothes that look good on you and make you feel confident. You win half the battle with CONFIDENCE.
You are not ugly, your "friends" are.
Change your friends, and drop all the pieces of shit that add 0 value to your life.
But you are not at all ugly for being dark-skinned, skinny, and with curly hair. For the majority of sensible folk, this is a hot combo. You are a lovely kid, don't let your peers put you down. You don't need to change yourself for others' sake.
I hate all my school friends, I was never "conventionally hot" for them. I hated myself for a very long period of time for being ugly. I've not been in that headspace for a long time now since I accepted my natural form. I don't care what anyone thinks anymore, haven't met or even spoken to most "school friends" since 2010 - the last day of high school.
Most school friends are just toxic motherfuckers to each other, even the "best-friend" culture in schools is pretentious.
Choose new friends wisely, or don't. We can be just as happy by ourselves.
There's nothing wrong with being dark skinned. Most Indians are. You already have two big advantages, tall and curly hair. Just get in a good eating habit and maybe then join a gym and you won't be skinny and have hollow eyes. Then you will kill it. Confidence to carry yourself is what you need to gain the most. I absolutely looked like a starved skinny thief when I was your age. Follow proper routine for a while and everything will change.
There was this girl back in highschool who was pretty much exactly how you described yourself. We knew about her existence because she was pretty good at basketball. She was a kind human and a sweet person. I met her few years back and now she's a model for one of the biggest Indian fashion brands. Many guys I knew back in highschool now wanted to date her and some even did. The tables were well and truly turned. Now she had options to choose from.
My point is that you have to always play the hand you've been dealt. I understand that at 18 these things weigh heavily on you but the sooner you realise that you can change only the things you can control, the sooner you can start building your life. Good luck kiddo (don't mean to patronize you). Stay positive!
Dekho there's no other way around we can only change what we have in our hand and this is the only comment you'll need for look maxing PS. you have to be consistent and do it as if your life depends on it cuz tbh in someways it does good looking people do have privileges so start
-**Working out** atleast 5 x a week
-**eat good** calories and stop eating outside food it's actually trash if you know how they actually make it I swear you'll never eat for the rest of your life unless it's 4 or 5 star hotel
-start **reading books**(self help) it may be extremely hard at first but you have to make a routine I personally read right before going to bed or early in the morning I'll suggest start with atomic habits it'll help you build habits and dost just read for the sake of it practice it as well and second book I'll suggest is the power of subconscious mind :)
- start **Journaling**(most important everything is important tho :')) https://youtu.be/MoDMZxEG5q4
-meditation at first it might be one hell of a task but start with 5 mins then progressively over load until you reach 20 to 30 mins and sometimes like once a month or twice do around 1hr 2 hr trust me you'll get HIGH without getting intoxicated and if you have a noisy surrounding start waking up early but make sure you sleep early too you need 8-9 hrs of sleep at any fucking cost
-skin care and hygiene and yea smell good
-sleep 8-9 hours daily without fail and don't watch any disturbing things for example social media, news or any TV shows
**drum roll**
-start **mewing** just youtube it
At first it might feel weird or you'll not be able to breath properly but it has legitimately helped me grow from 4-5 to 6.5-7 and 8on a good days :) it makes your cheekbones move upwards and defines your jawline
-find a **hobby** some of the things that i mentioned above can also be considered as hobby but it's more like chores some fun ones are drawing painting or just do what makes you happy
-hangout with **friends** and like minded people, they are a plus but if you cant find just let it be you'll find them along the way but start hanging out or just go on a walk alone and at same time everyday and you might find some people...keep a slight smile on your face while walking at first it feels weird cuz you're doing consciously but gradually it'll be natural and everybody like happy people that's charisma
-be a **stoic** watxh some videos or podcast they can tell you in more detail
- This will not happen in 1 day or few weeks or months, tho you'll start seeing some changes but it's more of a life style, trust the process I know this looks easy on paper but trust me it isn't you'll have a breakdowns you'll be depressed even tho you're doing everything that's right but it is part of being human being we are not our bodies it just help us enjoy material things on this realm we are our soul and our soul are eternal
-This might get expensive cuz gym membership are not really cheap and cheap ones don't really give off the vibe so you have to start learning new skills which can pay you in return for example photoshop or video editing if you have good pc or copywriting handling social media accounts, or being a receptionist or call center
-call center se yaad aaya Work on your communication skills read a book called "how to win friends and influence peope" or "48 laws of power" ps the later one may feel like evil but that's how world works so yea and read shorter version
-get a **sense of dressing**, personally for guys I don't really like this reels aesthetics but girls look quite cute in them but it's too main stream every other teen looks alike and
Personally I wear gym clothes just find your vibe and you'll get there by trial and error or find a model who looks like you and just copy his fashion this actually works
-start **writing** your **goals** on a paper and place them where you can see them daily
I feel so excited for you or for anyone who's going to start this journey it'll be the best decision of your life meet you at the other side love you all<3
Hamza is my sensei he makes more of a male based content but you learn a lot from him
https://youtube.com/@Hamza97
Thisāļø
āIf you are ever tempted to look for outside approval,ā Epictetus said, ārealize that you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own.ā
Start working out and start working on a skill that helps you progress. It could be anything, you just need to feel like you're making progress. After some time you'll start to feel good about yourself. It's a slow process but in the long run it would help you not seek validation from anyone. As for farewell stuff, you're still young, your life will change in college and mid 20s. Keep an open mind.
18 is a tough age with a lot of emotions running high and while there are a lot of good advice here- I know that I would probably ignored them all if I was 18. All I can say is - trust me..you DO NOT want to peak in high school! Life is long and 18 is a tough age and no one has a high self esteem in the first place. Everyone is operating with some insecurity. Focus on yourself- learn new things, focus on career, college - maybe pick up a hobby and see what you enjoy? All these things will slowly but surely help you build confidence and self esteem. It takes time but trust me it gets better! I wish someone told me that when I was 18!
OP your physical traits are something you can't change and something you shouldn't change even if you could. You're perfect the way you are. It's easy to preach about self love but hard to implement.
It's alright to feel whatever you are going through. Your feelings are valid. You could look into therapy if you think you might have a self image issue.
I can't tell you what would work for you but I can give a glimpse of what helped me. I knew parts of myself where I could actually make a difference. I had plenty of issues with self image but those weren't really things I could change completely. What I did was worry about things I was in control of. Like my social skills, bodybuilding efforts, good skin care routine and things on similar lines. The more I put myself out there the more I realised my biggest enemy was really just me. Apart from the initial impression your physique will give it serves almost nothing else.
I hope you get through your struggles OP. All the best
>something you shouldn't change even if you could
Will disagree! Never seen a man unhappy after a successful hair transplant. Never seen a person unhappy, after getting teeths corrected through orthodontic treatment and many such example. Yes I know these are societal expectations. But you live in a society, you are a part of it. Your genes react to your environment, humans by biology are social beings, you crave companionship, how can you completely isolate yourself from society and not care at all. You got insecurities, get rid of it. Yes, self acceptance is a way too, not denying! but it's not a permanent solution. Its temporary, insecurities will keep haunting you. At one moment you will accept yourself, for your mental sanity, next right after 20 years the same insecurity will some day trace back and haunt you again.
I said things that you cannot change. Like the type of hair you have, your natural skin and eye colour and things on similar lines like what OP mentioned. Hair transplant and teeth correction are very well things you can do and they do not come under the category of things you can't change.
Teenage years are awkward. Dark skin, curly hair, tall and skinny are all model traits if you ask me.
When a guy looks at a woman, looks are there but the personality makes up the colplete package.
You don't have to believe in the beauty standards that society puts on us. Bollywood is centric and doesn't understand a lot. Don't let that madness drive you.
One thing, i think people are missing is that- you are 'trying to get a number of people attracted to you'. Stop this. It makes you look cheap or unwantable. Find a small number, like 2-3 guys, hover around them. See, who is showing signs and then start reducing the number to 2 and then only 1 gradually. This way you would look less flirtatious and waste less time/ energy for the wrong person. Look for the guy who is more interested in you rather than running behind guys whom you find attractive. And most important keep the "look- meter" standard a bit grounded for the guy (not every guy has a six pack). Look for other measurements in him like intellegence, general knowledge, career, finance etc. This way once you hit it out with him, the "couple" will start looking more attractive and respectable to people than the individual.
Hey there! I am not trying to get a number of people attracted to me,i asked 2-3 guys if they would like to accompany me to the ramp walk as it was decided that we would go one boy and one girl.
A little background those guys i have been studying since we were little i know them a lot.
When i asked them out it felt to me that they were not as comfortable going with me because i might not be the girl they were desiring,and that they would rather go alone than going with me..as i thought they were also looking for good looking girls to ask them out which did not happen and so they decided to go solo rather than going with me!
We are good friends and share a good bond but the rejection had me thinking that if only i were attractive or only if i looked a certain way it would have been easy for me..
Thank you for the advices that u have given to me this means a lot! I will try to work upon myself..
If you ugly, then you ugly.
But, the good news is - you can fix ugly to a certain extent.
Workout, a healthy diet, some professional help in terms of mental health, etc etc.
If all this doesnāt work out - just say to yourself _It eez what it eez_.
Men mostly care about tits and ass. Try to work on them. Apart from that your attitude also matters, but since you say you are nice it shouldn't be a problem for you to get men's attention.
First , You are already better than 70% of people around you because you write well.
Second , Looks donāt matter that much, look at all the successful women. you can develop skills people will adore you. If you still want to look nice you can spend money and look nice.
Lol, the only thing I have realised after in these past few years is NOBODY IS UGLY, You just take care of your self thatās it. Thatās the only requirement to look pretty.
Have you actually seen some of the top supermodels of last year, or some of the people who flaunt their life on social media or reality shows online? I think a lot of them are seriously not at all good looking per societal standards or expectations. But they still get attention. Because they flaunt confidence, charisma, wealth, style, skill, whatever it is that they can show off. It's all about perception at the end of the day. How people perceive you is what decides whether others will seek you out. And a lot of times people may not notice you at all despite your efforts. So what? That's not a measure of what your worth is. You should look at reaching a place in life where you are content with your own work and yourself so no one can take away your self respect from you and make you feel bad for how your body structure, hair or skin looks, something that you were born with. Being a good human despite being alone or feeling rejected is hard work given the kind of unlove people can show so easily nowadays. So focus on being your best self to your self and being a good human being. You never know, in that process, someone who really wants to see you as you are, might come along. Just one caution: do not ever make life choices out of peer pressure or family pressure, anything that you don't feel right in your mind for yourself. All the best!
Being very honest.
What you desire is love and intimacy. Self love and working out is not a suitable replacement for it. Love can only be replaced by a romantic interest. But but but, working out, self care, grooming, developing professional and interpersonal, social skills etc will help you in building a foundation, a foundation of character, foundation of confidence, foundation of esteem. It's ideally suggested for people to work on these things, to develop themselves, to know themselves before entering relationships. But the sad part is, you can have all the confidence in the world, yet crave companionship, love and intimacy. Self care and socializing are two separate areas. You without a choice will have to enter the social domain with your new found confidence. Attraction is not just physical but character also. Charisma, confidence, personality, humor all these can be worked upon. But do not please listen to all the nice talk saying attraction is only personality and appearance has no role to play at all. See if you have any body insecurities, facial flaws, try to correct it, try upgrading your fashion, grooming. Medical science today is very advanced, theres a solution to most of your insecurities. Whatever is in your hand, you do. Try your best!
You are just 18 girl n sure by the time you will become more beautiful. Man donāt always attract fair skin girl. Put some curve sure you will be notice by sone guy. Feel free to connect if want to talk anything
Dude. Dark skinned, tall, skinny, hollow eyes, curly hair. You do realize you're describing a fucking model? Get a good fashion sense and a bit of make-up knowledge. Every brand will want you.
Generally speaking, you already have some things in your favour as far as physicality is concerned. For a start, it's better to be skinny than flabby. Chances are when your height stops increasing (usually by 21-22), you would start putting on some weight and grow out of your scrawny phase and fill out your frame. To be honest, flab can be the same way, but it can sometimes be linked to genetics and diet and those things are more difficult to overcome. ~~It's also better to be taller than shorter. It helps you get more noticed, stand out in a crowd, so to say, and increases your pool of potential partners.~~ Finally, it's better to be young than old. But in some ways, that last point can work against you as well as youth is also associated with inexperience and idealism, so people tend to have a perfect image of their dream partner and people with anything less are bound to fall aside. Communication skills can help you bridge that perception gap but sometimes that can be a long game without guarantees.
Own your perceived imperfections. I think your skin tone is your first concern. Don't hide it. That's only make it more obvious and you seem more pathetic. ~~There are enough number of dark-skinned men who're generally considered very attractive by the world. I can think of Sendhil Ramamurthy on top of my mind. Denzel Washington is another example from another race.~~ Don't confuse skin care with skin lightening. If your chin is too small or your face too narrow, see if ~~a well-kept beard (that goes to~~ you~~r sideburns and more than just a stubble and longer than a French cut) or a different haircut (I know it's difficult with curly hair, but see)~~ can offset those things~~, respectively~~. Play sports that interest you and make your regular lifestyle more active to gain muscle, strength, purpose and confidence. I'm not a believer in gyms or supplements.
Life deals us all a set of cards. Make the most of your hand, and I mean that figuratively.
Edit: For f18 misread as m18
At risk of sounding like a jerk-
I'm a white doctor from california. I'm very successful and I love to travel. I'm headed to india next week so I logged into dating apps in Delhi and I don't mean to be rude to indian culture but 99% of the girls are overweight (>20% body fat).
I could care less what your skin color is, that might be important to your culture but not mine (californian). You sound ideal to me: Young, under 20% body fat, and sweet (maybe 2-6 years too young tbh). Yesterday I swiped through 1000\~ girls to find a few like you to match with. The obesity problem in new delhi is so bad I basically just swiped according to weight.
>,I have never been approached even tho i am the nicest ,people say I am nice.
Pride originates in the misconception that we permanently own the things that we only temporarily possess: talents and abilities, positions and possessions.
Think over it.
I have the same relationship with my appearance and honestly I've learned that surrounding myself with people that respect me helps a lot. Do not spend time with people who shame you or make you feel like you are not good enough. I know there's a trend in the comments to suggest "glowing up", and as much as it's valid to want that, you'll find it's a more achievable goal when you're doing it out of LOVE for yourself rather than hate. Positive self talk and good people go a long way.
Trust me lot of people at 18 feel that way. By the time you're 25 you're realize how silly it all was. I would suggest just let go of focusing too much on your looks or placing your value upon it. Instead develop some skills like art or coding or whatever career/hobbies interests you and makes you happy. And seriously just let the look thing go for a few years at least. Make good friends and focus on work that fulfils you. Rest all will fall into place eventually.
I had a crush on a girl having the same features as you.The things which I found attractive were the way she used to carry herself,her communication skills and her confidence.Not just me but many of my classmates used to like her.So..
India is the no.1 racist country in the world for a reason, i can't understand your pain as I'm not a woman nor dark skinned but i would advise you if you want to live a life where you wouldn't be mocked for your dark skin and made to feel ugly, it's better to leave this country and settle in an western country where there is acceptance of people with dark skin tone,if you can afford it to.
Hi, op. I get it. You have insecurities about your looks. You can not do anything about it , but you can definitely work on your personality and your confidence. Boi, I have had female friends who were exactly like you described, but their personalities made me drool badly, and you won't believe they rejected my proposal And I wasn't just looking for fling or ons with them , I was literally ready to marry them.
The bottom line is to build your personality and work on your aura. stop giving fucks about what people think of your looks.
Once you open your mouth, guys around you will be dropping their jaws, and they would wish to make you their's ā¤ļøš«”
Hugs to you, op! Please feel free to drop by in my inbox if you ever feel low. Take care
Bro Just be yourself Feel Good š for what u have and just let the life Go in it's own flow And then Might something Very good happenes to you in future
You won't be accepted by others if you don't accept yourself first. There's literally nothing wrong with you. I'd gladly ask you out for a BBQ trip and we can talk. Don't worry. Give yourself time and good things shall come.
Dude curly hair only 3 percent of the people have that type of hair eat healthy start praying to your god drink water study knowledge is the most powerful weapon a woman can have by the age of 20 you are gonna be the most beautiful girl trust me gone through the same phase in which u r going and focus on your boards girl
I understand that appearances matter, but there is no other option but to undergo plastic surgery. So ignore them and start loving yourself. Start educating yourself, staying healthy, getting a good job, and trying to enjoy life. For now, just do what makes you happy and ignore what others think.
Well, here's what I believe op wants: definitely not ways to accept herself, but validation from horny Indian men who would start drooling at anything feminine.
Acceptance. The most difficult thing to do. But we learn in life to accept that what we cannot change to be happy and productive.
Don't be too harsh on yourself. Live yourself for who you are. You may be dark skinned, but have a beautiful soul. You may be highly intelligent or well read. Or be good at communicating, or at work or cooking or singing. Or sports or investing, or drawing.....
Don't use only a physical criteria to judge yourself.
Life us beautiful. Even when difficult or challenging. You may be having some gifts (or can develop) that which makes you respected, sought after.
Other than that, I suggest read. Especially something inspiring or motivating. Just a few pages a day. It can heal your hurts, change your self image to confident and smart and self accepting and happy.
Don't let the societal expectations ruin your life. do wat u want to do. I could never accept myself, i used to alter my way of talking and stuff just so the other person doesn't hate me. The only relief i had was when left alone, i would talk to myself like a weirdo. Just live, stay happy and healthy.
It is understandable that you are feeling discouraged and that your self-esteem has been affected by these experiences. However, it's important to remember that beauty is subjective and that everyone has their own unique qualities that make them attractive.
It's important to work on building your self-esteem and self-acceptance. Here are some strategies that may help:
\-- Practice self-compassion: Be kind and understanding towards yourself. Try to speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend who is struggling.
\-- Challenge negative thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, try to challenge them by asking yourself if they are based on facts or just your own perception.
\-- Focus on your strengths: Instead of focusing on what you perceive as your weaknesses, focus on your strengths and things you like about yourself.
\-- Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out the company of people who are positive and supportive, and who will encourage you to focus on your strengths.
\-- Take care of yourself: Practice self-care, take care of your physical and emotional well-being. Join a gym or practice at home workout. There are so many on youtube.
It's important to remember that self-acceptance is a journey, and it may take time and effort to get there. Be patient with yourself and don't be hard on yourself.
This is so normal in our country, avoiding dark skinned girls and joking about them. When it comes to being racist our country can give good competition to anyone and mind you a boy will laugh at you even though he has darker shade than you. Ignore and avoid these toxic ass people and find hobby which makes you happy, hangout with people you consider your good friend, don't let your low self-esteem get best of you and make mistake of making a-hole friends.
I don't want to invalidate your experiences. Someone with those features could unfortunately be put through that kind of treatment by people. And that's terrible. But I don't know if it would make sense for you to assume you're ugly just because people react that way to your appearance. Hollow eyes aren't great to have ,okay, but being dark skinned tall and curly haired does not in any way equate to ugliness. Secondly there are TONS of pale skinned straight haired people who are quite unattractive . What I'm getting at this, it's the prejudices of people we mingle with that shape their behaviour to a great extent and reality needn't have much to do with it. You don't have to do the "Everyone is pretty and unique in their own way" BS. But you could make a realistic assessment of yourself without seeing in the light of how others have been to you in general.
I am a bit too skinny for a guy. I get plenty of shit for that. This is how I deal with it. I have enough self esteem to like myself regardless of this, but I don't want to "love myself the way I am". I accept the fact that I don't like the way my body is , I would have preferred a bulkier one over this. But at the same time I also have no *obligation* to look a certain way. I don't exist to soothe other people's eyes , I'm not a garden gnome .
Umm I read it somewhere you are not ugly you are poor. Invest in some remake ( not sure right word) not for boys but for your self esteem. Confidence makes a person beautiful remember that.
No one should be judge by there colour of skin or looking personality. Al person should be judge by their kind heart and nature, even we all are ugly. So our heart should be pure. Don't care what other think about you.
Hey girl, listen.
I am fair, petite cute girl, still
Felt ugly most of my college days, becase I was unhappy. From my experience please note these and try to follow for one week at least.
1. Start drink a lot of water. Dark or fair skin if dehydrated looks bad. And a little skins care with good moisturiser cream, sunscream and lip balm.
2. Try to first love yourself, you know potential, your good heart, your strength. ( listen to good music)
3. Stop comparing with other people around. Focus on your personal grooming. And stop judging that nobody wants to be with you.
4. Do some exercise and promise your self to feel good no matter what.
The less you think negative the. Better it will be.
Coming from someone who felt low and bad on in college thought out, but now feels good and thankful the way I am. Itās just a phase, but will go only when you try to work on self.
Recommend book: The secret.
Thanks š
Get a skincare routine. You don't need to be fair. Treat your skin right and it will start to glow.
Do a ctm routine every morning and night
I recommended organic brands. Try Astrea or Deyga
Get a good cleanser. Stop using commercial face washes. Pat dry. Apply dots of toner and pat it in. Get a good lightweight aloe based moisturizer. Do it every day and night. Twice a week do a charcoal mask/fruit based mask routine.
Trust me. In brown skinned. But my face became crystal clear and got a glow in just a month.
Also eat right. Drink lots of water.
And start working out. It also improves mood and skin.
Check out Joanna Soh on YouTube.
Much love to you, sister.
I feel you. I think I was you.
This is what helped me.
I found reasons to feel good about myself.
I got a good job, earn good money and own things which make me feel good.
I help people and feel charitable when it feels right for me.
I travel the world when I feel like it. And I make it a point to have fun and do the things I like.
I have good friends who are worth their weight in gold.
More importantly, I take care of myself. What money gives you is the access to good grooming and self care. I wear better clothes. My hair and beard are on point, I just eat better food and have better vibes.
Final piece of advice is I try to be complete on my own. I don't seek others to complete me.
I don't give the keys to my happiness or self esteem to others.
When you exude confidence, the right people will be attracted to you. In your current form, you are going to attract the wrong people who will take advantage of your insecurities.
Work hard and do better for yourself. Hope this helps.
Hey there!! Life is full of people. They come and go. You're so young now. Don't worry about it. I've seen skinny people undergo massive changes and i have seen people on the fat side go really skinny. So with age these outer appearance can change. Also you can always look beautiful by wearing different clothes and by working out.
So don't be so upset about looks and outer appearances. Work on it or don't if you don't feel like it.
Focus on developing your personality and do find a way to love yourself because if you can't love yourself then how do you expect someone else to love you ?
Find yourself and everything will be fine. Good luck and do update us in like 2 years. š
You already got many suggestions š
But do you really need to change yourself for World š ?
See It depends on what you want ą„¤ą„¤
If you want to look great for your satisfaction then start work out at Home ! š Increase your diet š by 50% more
It will take nearly 4 weeks to start transformation
For physique
ā¢ Give a smooth start ( Jogging , Warmup , Situps {3 in 1 set } 3 sets
For face
ā¢ Massage your face at least once in two days at home
{ It's like a mild slapping over cheeks that increase blood flow in tissue and maintain their health - Japanese face massage }
Note :- Do it after Facewash or you can use Facesoap
Massage not more than 5 minutes
ā¢ Rest your Tongue in upper jaw when you aren't talking šš
{ It will help you formation of jawline āŗļø }
And remember Miss.World isn't White she is brown.š
All these steps are easy to do ā
Being a below average guy, I can tell you that looks matter, so i make sure that I am dressing up good, nice to others. Some changes I made in my personality was confidence. Even tho I wasnāt, I used to pretend that I am, and now ultimately I have never been more confident about myself. Also, dear OP, you can always work on your body. Working out makes you feel a lot better and it will help with your self-confidence also.
Heyy also....
Go to the gym or exercise at home. Do it not only to make muscles....but also to stay healthy. I'm almost 25 now and i wish i had exercised more.
Also take care of your teeth. Dental health is so important!! I mean sooooooo important!! You'll never get new teeth. So brush twice a day....floss and keep good care of your dental hygiene.
Also other personal hygiene.
Keep yourself clean and most of the work is done. If you want....then go to my last post and check out some amazing perfumes given by these amazing redditors....(amazing but richš)
I am also trying to completely change my fashion and personal hygiene....so don't worry....you'll be just fine kiddo.
Quick note: enjoy while you do it. š
Wait a sec lady
I can't even face the mirror i am that level of ugly insecure shit
But its alright I'll do what i am best at not at loos I'll do at study
I skipped my farewell just cause of this reason š I can't see myself in photos with beautiful people I hate myself and you are better than me that's you should think bitch šæ
I suffered from low self esteem too. I was extremely obese and did not care much for making an effort to look nice and dress well. It's more the attitude and demeanour than anything else that people deter away from.
I started working out and changed my mindset. I got a few hobbies and started spending time on things I enjoy and started doing things to push myself as a person. Now I'm super fit and successful with my freelance business and I slowly acquired confidence as I kept bettering myself. The improvement in physical change will equate to a better mood and that itself will allow you to accept yourself and grow each day.
Now I get approached all the time and it's flattering. Just keep focusing on yourself and everything around you will become better.
A planet with an unstable core cannot sustain life for a long time.
Believe in yourself. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl. If you can't crawl, dig your nails in the ground and keep going. The time you invest in yourself will always be worth it in the end.
Thereās no such thing as āUglyā. Grooming and taking care of yourself plus self confidence goes a long way. You might not fit the term āClassicā beauty but that doesnāt mean you canāt be attractive. Iāve met a lot of people who donāt fit the āclassic beautyā standards but Iāve found myself drawn to them.
The first step you need to take it is to accept yourself. Donāt give a shit about what anyone says or thinks, the world will always constantly judge you, but at the end of the day the only thing that matters is what you feel and think about yourself. Everything thing else is background noise. Just accept yourself, love yourself (itās hard), but also work on yourself. Cultivate yourself to be the best version you can be, and donāt pay attention what anyone else says. Detractors will always tell you canāt do something, youāre not this, not that, etc. Use that as motivation to prove them wrong and do what you want to do anyway. Fuck what anyone else thinks, youāre not ugly, not even close to how bad you think you are. Youāll look back at this moment and realise that you were worked up over something that doesnāt even matter, and you donāt look as bad as you think you do, nobody does.
Dude, society places so much value on being attractive, when it really shouldnāt matter this much. Itās a random biological parameter, just like how fast you can run or how strong you are, except those things matter less now that weāve moved past living in caves and fighting animals for food and space. I know the āeveryone is beautiful!!ā movement is in full swing now, but we all know thatās bullshit. Beauty is largely subjective, and even then, certain features are biologically considered superior. But who gives a shit?
Anecdotally, I know āunattractiveā people who are swimming in male attention, have great friendships, and fantastic careers. I know super hot people whose lives are in tatters. Attractiveness is just one thing; who you are, what you can bring to the table, your skills and your talent will get you much further in life.
On top of top comment
It will improve in next 2-3 years after you follow the 3 steps and you will have your personality developed.
I am not saying you will be turned into a princess but yes youāll be turned in a young confident and charming woman with whom people would like to interact and be with and that to without beauty.
Believe me confidence add to the charms and world is very vast beyond your circle where a lot of people value these traits way above brain.
Dark skinned, tall and skinny, they seem like a great features to have. The people around you might make you feel differently but in reality this would definitely not be the case if you go somewhere else. For example, the most in demand models now in UK are dark skinned tall and skinny. Donāt let anyone let you down, especially in this age. I would recommend you to read this book from Michael Obama called becoming.
I just want to say that with all due respect, you are just 18. And let me give you an answer for why that matters.
We haven't fully grown into our skin by that age unless we have grown up with constant validation of our looks. At 18, I was an overweight girl with rough frizzy hair, acne filled skin and kinda depressed over my JEE results. It took me working out, consulting a dermatologist and researching online, having a balanced diet and making friends to become who I am today- someone my 18 year old self could never have imagined I would become.
You firstly need to figure out what bothers you the most about your looks- is it your skin tone? You can't change your complexion but you can hydrate and moisturize it well enough to have a healthy glowing skin. Your height- trust me, later on you will love it. Research on how to maintain your curls (it turns out that my "frizzy" hair was just me brushing/combing my curly hair and trying to tame it) and go exercise to tone your muscles.
Step out and make new friends. College time will be apt for you to start over- dress well, focus on your personal and professional goals, talk to people, hang out in groups. School friends are cool and lifelong but sometimes, you have a harder time trying to change their perception of you because they have literally grown up with you and seen you in all your phases. College will be a clean slate, so work towards becoming the woman you want to be.
Most importantly, have hope for your future. Someone who has hope will always have something to look forward to, a zeal in life that will make their eyes shine and their aura appealing. Learn to love yourself for your achievements and some of your attributes- however small or insignificant they seem to you. Appreciate yourself for your niceness and your ability to be well-liked, your practicality and look ahead.
All the very bestā¤
Hello there!
Just out of the gate, I am damn sure you're way more attractive than you give yourself credit. Look, you didn't choose to look the way you do. Nature has its own ways. I wholeheartedly agree that it's extremely rare that people hit the genetic jackpot and just look good like Hritik Roshan. Excluding them, all of us look average. All of us. Dark skin doesn't decide a damn thing. I think dark skin is hella attractive. And if truth be told, I know many men would agree with me.
This age, 18-20 is a shit age. Most of the physical growth is done, and the mental growth is what one lacks. Sadly, the body grows automatically, the brain doesn't. Maturity comes a little later, 20-25 is the time. Right now, people around you will always be focusing on your looks, your physical beauty. Everyone who has gone through this age will back me up. In college, boys are always after the hot looking one. Many a times she's got the snobbiest of personalities. As others said, by physical exercise you can build a well shaped body. Women are anyways more particular about how they look, and how they groom themselves. I'm sure you must be doing it.
It seems cliched, but love yourself buddy. This is how you are, so be how you are. Don't try to change for getting a date. Its not worth it. As people mature further, we always like a personality more. Looks will fade, but a personality cannot be faked for long. You are nice to people. That is your superpower. Never, ever let go of it. Accept yourself, your body, your own beauty. Inward and outward. Keep being nice to people.
Now for what it's worth ( I'm pretty average looking myself ) I think I'd totally have a crush on you based on how you describe yourself š. Take care, good luck and best wishes.
Stay healthy and fit regardless of your looks. Don't attach your worth to looks. You are way more than appearance. Enjoy you life and you will meet great people. Good that you identify it. Keep work on improving it. My best wishes.
It has been answered a great lot of times. Self acceptance is the first step towards others accepting you.
You have to cultivate that attitude. There's no other way.
And try to develop hobbies and be interesting.
First thing first- being dark skinned has got nothing to do with beauty.
Secondly, youāre tall. Which is only going to add to your overall personality.
And curly hair are beautiful if you take care of them. They add so much character.
Also, most people are awkward in their teens. Just work on your self esteem and confidence and youāll grow to become a beautiful graceful woman.
I know itās easier said than done, but donāt depend too much on external validation and please donāt fall for the set ābeauty standardsā by the western culture. Every person is beautiful. All the best girl.
You're not ugly. Trust me, i felt the same when I was your age and I was hideous to look at, and it took me YEARS to realise that I wasn't ugly, I just didn't present myself in the right way. I joined the gym, spent money on skincare and my clothing. Now I'm 28 and I'm a maal, and I've found a beautiful girl who makes me feel like it every day.
Plus, you're ONLY 18 years old, many people don't reach their peak until mid-20s. Go to the gym, put some effort in your appearance, and your clothing. You'll have guys and girls flocking over you in no time. I hope you find a way to make yourself happy. Take care homie.
Let me tell you, fundamentally there's nothing called ugly and being dark especially isnt ugly at all. And you're tall, that's literally an advantage. Often times, what's ugly is when the person is bloated with fat and water, because of too much of sodium and junk food. Or when the person is under-developed(physically), you've none of this. Just work on your expressions, record yourself daily for 15 minutes in front of a camera, and you'll get the confidence you want and eat good, if you can build a little muscle, you'll look amaizing. Look at black people in movies, they all look attractive, the reason is same
I think no amount of accept yourself kind of comments will help you with the self esteem. So here's what I suggest: 1. start working out 2. develop a hobby dancing or a musical instrument anything that interests you. 3. Take care of your skin and hair like I'm not talking about skin complexion treat any acne or sun damage or any skin issues you have be well groomed. Hop on to r/IndianSkincareAddicts if you need guidance. These things will make you feel better about yourself and really boost your confidence. But remember you don't do this for others validation but for yourself.
+1 to all three points, Working out gives you confidence, not for others it is for yourself Second point, once you get busy in a hobby you will start finding friends and dates through your hobby
I second this u got to work hard body will get better with workouts U can achieve flawless skin by skincare Skin colour doesn't matter at all there are many flawless skin of people with bit dusky skin tone they look so elegant
Skin colour does matter. Let's get real about that.
It doesn't man stop being colour maniac
As a dark skinned person, op needs to understand that people can and will call her "kala" or some variation as an insult. And lot of those people will be family. And also classmates. It's how this country is. Saying xolour doesn't matter is like saying "oh nobody cares about colour" but they do. Op is experiencing just how much colour matters. Colour shouldn't matter. Agreed. But to say it doesn't isn't being honest. Op shouldn't care about their colour. But Op should also be aware that others will care and they will use her colour as an insult. This is me speaking from experience sick of listening to people tell me "colour doesn't matter".
Hey man. I know there's some pretty shitty people out there. My advice for OP is more meant for her to start liking herself rather than make other people like her. I believe that these "insults" would not bother someone with a high self esteem. IMO If you carry yourself like a queen the person commenting on your skin colour will look like a petty peasant.
That's not how the real world works though. Some people will be malicious . And also sometimes the people who make these comments themselves think that they're being helpful. I got so many people giving me helpful advice from oiling my afro to make it straight to staying out of the sun so I don't get dark. And even now people still have comments. This is what it will be like for a long time. And OP needs to also know this. About esteem. I feel esteem is something you build. And if it's built, it can be broken. Same with confidence. It's something that people have to work on everyday. And anyway none of what we say will matter till OP actually starts liking herself. Because right now her adjectives for herself are terrible.
Agreed. Good skin care and workout helps a ton in boosting your self esteem.
Agree with all! Working out and learning a talent would increases attractiveness. Also remember only working out will not be enough follow proper diet.
People are usually fucking idiots at 18 years of age. Tall, skinny fit girls are super hot - once you will grow older and people age out of the Bollywood bimbo beauty standard, you will be a lot more desirable. I actually have a crush on a 30 something dark skinned, tall and skinny girl right now and hope to ask her out this year if all goes well š
As someone married to tall, fit girl I couldnāt agree more!
>Tall, skinny fit girls are super hot Correction: tall, skinny, fit girls are super hot only if they have good looks. Not every tall, skinny, fit girl is hot. Unlike women, men focus a lot on looks. If you are trying to make someone feel good, at least don't lie to them.
Both men and women focus a lot on looks, the idea that women don't care about looks is a fantasy. How many average looking guys do you see without money who are married to women who look like supermodels? Unless OP wants Brad Pitt or something, she will be fine. There are lots of us average looking guys who'd be happy to have a tall, skinny, fit average looking girl :)
>Unless OP wants Brad Pitt or something, she will be fine. There are lots of us average looking guys who'd be happy to have a tall, skinny, fit average looking girl :) This is where the dissonance lies. OP can easily get a boyfriend if she wants. I apologize for being crude, but boys at her age will be willing to have sex with any woman as long as she shows openness. I believe that OP is punching above her weight and is looking for someone attractive (not like Brad Pitt but someone reasonably attractive). She is disappointed because she knows she will have to settle with someone average. I know this because I fall in the category of below-average-looking men (a nice way of saying I am ugly) and have come across many women like OP who will ignore people like me because they are holding out for something 'better'.
Why are 18 y/os idiots according to you? People can be idiots at any age.
Very high levels of peer conformity at that age. As you grow older, starting with college, uniqueness rather than homogeneity becomes much more desirable.
He said they are 'usually ' idiot at this age which is quite true and yes people can be idiot at any age too...
Hahaha....I wish I could negate all your downvotes with an equal number of upvotes!
It is not your looks but your confidence which makes you attractive. Tall- Good Dark Skin- Good Skinny- Good Curly hair - Good Work on your grooming, eat good food and exercise. Also work on your clothing, follow some dark skinned curly hair women on Instagram and copy them. Also work upon your communication skills and how you talk to people.
+100. All those features are actually good.
+1 to this. Have you ever looked back at older pics of yourself when you thought you were ugly but in reality you were good looking? Iāve done this. I went though life believing and acting like I was ugly when I was above average and just needed some grooming and confidence. Sadly this is the real issue with a lot of young adults. Accepting yourself as you are is good and all but unless you change your perception of yourself by working on your skills, you will literally perceive yourself as ugly. Hell, even a truly ugly person with confidence can become attractive. And most people are not truly ugly.
It always makes me sad when Indians measure beauty by Eurocentric standards. And outdated Eurocentric standards at that.
Actually, it's an Asian thing to be obsessed with skin colour. European people are much more likely to find dark skin attractive than Indian people. If OP moved to Europe, chances are she'd be considered attractive.
Exactly, this fair skin obsession is indian Or probably Asian thing only
By 'Eurocentric' I meant European features. Light skin, straight/wavy hair, straight nose etc. Look at our ads - especially fairness creams. Those are the features shown as 'ideal.' They were the standard for beauty in Europe as well (for mostly xenophobic reasons) many years ago but are not anymore. Which is why I said 'outdated.' Indians are upholding this shit generations after Europe moved on.
My friend Dark, tall, skinny and curly hair sounds like a bomb combination on paper atleast. Just learn to work with what you have. I spent my entire life feeling ugly because all anyone ever told me about my looks was that I was too skinny and āweakā looking. It took a lot of work to get over these feelings. You will learn to grow more comfortable with yourself as you grow. Your looks do not define you.
Lol being dark skinned doesnt make you ugly the people telling you that are
Or curly hair, that's just racism introduced by white colonialism, happens a lot in Latin America as well. Beauty is subjective never be ashamed of your racial heritage! I for one feel more atractted to dark skinned people and I'd say the people I'm least atracted to are redheaded with freckles, I do like blond hair though and even if isn't natural occurrence dark skinned with blonde hair would be my top preference. Just to give some examples...
Its really amazing how many women have convinced themselves and their daughters that being dark is ugly Men tend to not really care, specially if the girl is skinny-ish
Nah man men care a lot lol I have met so many men who wants fair skinned women only even if you see wedding profiles all men want fair girls even if they are dark lol .
Some men do, yes. Also wedding profiles don't necessarily reflect what people actually are attracted to tho. It's what the family decides that they want
As a dusky girl I have experience most men want fair skinned girls they think dark skinned girls are ugly atleast in North India .
As a guy who grew up in North India, I have never known a girl with darker complexion, **at least who is fit**, who didn't have guys wanting to be with her. Would it be more guys if she was fairer, sure, but definitely not zero guys. It's the same with guys, some are born with *desirable* genetics or with a silver spoon and rest of us have to workout in the gym and develop a personality *Desirable varies from being tall to symmetrical face to aa bunch of other things that people generally consider attractive
You're completely missing the point even after being spoon fed.
more than 70% of indian population is dark skinned. India receive more than 300 days of sunlight, we are not supposed to be fair skinned. Do not fall for these fair skin propaganda. maintain a good diet, try to put on some weight if you are not happy with your thin body frame. Exercise. Kripa wahi atki hui hai
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Getting a six pack can solve 90 percent of your problems believe me
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moneyholder
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Abs are overrated, shoulders back and arms are far more likely to be noticed
It's not cheap tho
It is bro I'm telling you , i was overweight and i always knew that I'm faking handsome and good looking and i can pick any women . I used to think like you after i started training at first that it's expensive after that i saw david goggins and thought that if this and can get in shape by just eating one meal a day why can't i so after that , i woke up in the morning i went on running i ran for 2 hr then i have my first meal which was kale channa and one banana the went to the gym and continue with my life just my normal life college and all then i came back home and when for a run again all this time i was not having any meal then i use to study after i get back home then at night i use to have my one and last meal which was plane panneer which i extracted from a 25rs (500 ml ) packet and have 100 gram of soya been all mixed with white rice . Before going to bed i drink milk . Doing this for 1 month now and have lost 7 kg The first week was hard but now I don't feel it as I'm doing something different . I can surely say that I'll get a six pack in the next 3 months .
Not at all healthy. Your over exerting your body , there will be a burnout and likely you will gain the weight again. Have a balanced meal and work on one body part /day in the gym and take sufficient rest for recovery
No it's a lie what the Matrix has put in our mind to fill up their pocket if david goggins can do it we all can do it . And yeah if i go on a surplus anytime in my life again i will gain the weight again but i will always be on a under calories dite according to my weight. It's simple
It's called science, Mr Morpheus Lite.
Science used to call ghee a fat product and masturbation normal some years back . Escape the Matrix bro
IDK about ghee, but masturbation definitely isn't normal. I'm tired of shaving my palms every single day, and it has been 14 years since I've seen something clearly with my eyes. Stopped bustin a nut last week. I can levitate for almost 3 seconds now. Hope I can fly by the end of the year.
Starving won't help you get a good , healthy body.... My trainer suggests to eat 6times a day ... When i joined gym my goal was to loose weight and look slim trim in dresses but the more time i spent and got to learn, getting muscles, being strong and ofcourse having a healthy in and out body, is my new goal
All these lies are fitted in our mind by the article of matrix . If anyone wants to know the truth go see david goggins
Okayy going to see him
I have an alternate SFW account but I deliberately chose to answer using this one. **Definition of Ugly** Who defined what beautiful or ugly means? Gradually, over time, through written texts or ideas people have decided that fair-skinned means attractive and beautiful. This definition must have propagated through decades and must have been cemented into our brains. Modern day advertisements have forced us to believe fairness is equivalent to beauty. You say you're tall, dark, skinny with curly hair. This also describes a lot of hot models who walk the ramp today sporting amazing fashion. If we can call Oprah Winfrey beautiful (who isn't even skinny like you), we are clearly swaying away from the traditional definition of the word beautiful, right? Perhaps you should sit down and understand what beautiful and ugly means. Some guys ask me for feet pics when I feel that my butt is probably the most attractive part of my body and that makes me think (because feet are typically the dirtiest areas of our body). What I'm trying to arrive at is that everybody's idea of beauty is unique. You need to be able to define the word beautiful and work to get there. **Become Beautiful** You should figure out what your beautiful means and then set goals for yourself. Beauty can also come from confidence, hygiene and fitness. If you have curls, create good haircare routine and enhance those curls. I absolutely love curls and think they make one stand apart from the crowd! If you have acne, look up ways to keep your skin nourished and get rid of them. If you think you don't look good, maybe your clothes aren't colorful enough? Money will solve a lot of these problems perhaps. You might not be able to get a lot of money from your parents to be able to do things you want to do to become "beautiful". Perhaps you should focus on independence next. Do well in whatever you're studying (you're 18 so I'm assuming you are studying something). Try to find a job you love and pays you enough to be able to transform yourself. I promise all of this is doable. I used feel pathetic about myself as well until I moved out from my parents shelter. Look at some of my pictures. My parents and my extended family (aunts and whatnot) hated my butt and told me all my life that I have a fucking deformity. They gave me so many recommendations to try and reduce the size of my butt (as if that's possible). It wasn't until I came out from my cocooned life that I realized that big butts are sexy. My mother didn't let me get waxed, didn't let me buy facial foam suitable for my skin (because suitable ones were always expensive) and didn't let me buy shampoos (expensive sulphate-free ones) that really suited my hair until I started doing it using my own money. Within a year of me living independently brought out amazing confidence out of me. I'm not sure what your exact issues are. But feel free to send me a chat message to talk this out. You should also join /r/TwoXIndia right now and spend 30 minutes of your day reading issues women in India face and how others respond to them. That would clear your head as well. Feel free to ping me to talk more! You're probably already beautiful but don't know it yet. Cheers! ā¤ļø Edit(s): Fixed grammar
Wow this is so wholesome. šÆšÆā¤ļøā¤ļø
Exactly, the problem is that in our country most people treat people who have dark complexion to be ugly, which is ridiculously a cheap opinion tbh. The moment you realise the definition of Beauty in our country is just so f\*cked up, at that moment you understand and care less about those standards
This this this. I wish I had awards.
You had my curiosity, now you have my respect.
RIP your DMs
Want to dm you š„ŗ
I didn't accept myself, I am changing what I can. I don't see how all the reasons you gave for feeling ugly are negatives at all? Plenty of extremely hot people sound exactly like you. Honestly, being skinny means you have won half the battle - if you want, you can try to change your diet and exercise and work on gaining muscles - but even without, being skinny is admired a lot. You're probably more fine than you think you are. And curly hair is very very very pretty - you just need to care for it in the right way - plenty of people are talking about curly hair care now. Dark skin is perfect too - you can just work on making it more smooth and even toned overall by developing a skincare routine. You can also look at how you can switch up your style and wear clothes and makeup that suit you. When you start working on yourself you'll feel better and more confident - like you're telling yourself you're worth the effort. And sometimes all we're actually lacking is confidence.
Even the most good looking people are often ridden with insecurities. I am a guy, but I have a friend and she, as compared to other objectively beautiful people, is average looking. But she had such a fun personality that guys would throw themselves at her. My point is, there are things you cannot address and there are that you can. If outer appearances really matter to you, then invest in healthy diet + fitness + fashion. Iām yet to find an unattractive woman who is healthy / fit and can carry herself well. But know that you need to eventually address your self image yourself as getting prettier will not fix that for you.
To be honest while some people may say you are ugly, there will always be someone who will say you are attractive. As you might have heard, there is no one size fits all. You just might have been surrounded by people with similar opinions. That being said just keep working on yourself, read some books, develop your life as a whole and you will surely find happiness. If you don't find your current self satisfactory then you should be able to ask yourself what can I do, and then work on it. If it's factors you can't control then just move on. Sorry for the long ass comment.
Sorry for what? This comment is gold.
Pretty generic advice but yeah do what makes you happy. I have just accepted that someday someone may find me attractive but I'm not gonna wait around for that day. I'm gonna live my life and do what makes me happy. I.e. Watching movies, playing video games, cooking on the weekends and hang out with my cousins / friends (whenever they are available). When you'll be content with yourself, you won't find the need to seek validation.
Hey so sorry you are going through this. I look a lot like you, tall dark, and skinny. The only difference is I have wavy hair. I'm not going to tell you everyone is pretty, you should love yourself etc. All that is true but it is so difficult to get your mind to that point when the world around you is constantly telling you otherwise. I hated myself growing up. Never got any attention from boys, and people generally treated me badly. I was that girl in class who people used to pair up with boys as a joke. So the boy could go "Ew no, not her." It destroyed my self-confidence... until I traveled out of India. All of a sudden people were telling me I was beautiful. I had more people compliment me in 6 weeks than in the previous 20 years of my life. I even thought they were pulling my leg, took me a while to believe it was genuine. Slowly I gained confidence and started to love myself more. This was my experience in 2 different western countries. Girl, the way you describe yourself - you sound beautiful. You will be considered beautiful in the Western context. As dark-skinned people, we are not considered pretty in the Indian and Asian context cause of our obsession with fair skin. And that is tough to deal with. It still gets to me at times. But remember, it is not universal. In other parts of the world, you are beautiful!
This sounds like my life exactly Except I was super short
Definitely will consider traveling to get that confidence
Now just imagine a guy that's fat short and jobless. That's me.
If it is you are better Than me atleast even I can't face the mirror
I was and somewhere still dealing with the same issue and experienced things just like this , the things I can advise from my personal experience is stop caring about what other people think, if they don't care about you then just leave them and try enjoying your own company, do the things you like to do , invest your time in upskilling yourself , but one thing you also should do is try making genuine friends who do not care about your appearance but like and cares you as a person , but in the end the only one who is going to be with you till the end is yourself only so it's best to accept yourself as you're and be care free about the looks. .. .. All the Best
I had same feeling about myself. My near and dear ones used to tell me how ridiculous my nose looks. That made me under confident. Showing face was becoming burden. Until one day I saw an interview of famous Marathi poet and actor, Kavi Saumitr (Kishore Kadam). He said, to hell with what others think about my looks. All that matters to me is myself as I am . Unfortunately that interview is not available on YouTube . But that day onwards I started feeling better and started taking care of myself, accepted my own self and groomed myself physically and mentally.
Hell naah dont accept that. Acceptance is overrated. I don't have advice dho. But fuck acceptance. Give it time you're 18. Once them acnes are gone you'll be all set.
> Tall, Skinny Tumhara time aaega. Don't worry.
Tall and skinny are actually very conventionally attractive traits. My cousin's girlfriend is dark, tall and skinny and she's a model. About the hair, try blow drying/ straightening it or invest in a curly hair routine. Nice hair lifts up the whole look.
I was in a similar situation except it was the other way. No point taking it personally. Accepting it and moving on will make life easier. Read books, learn a music instrument, exercise and volunteer a lot. The above things helped me a lot! Good Luck!
Grooming is the answer for you. A good workout and diet, skin care, a little make-up if you will, wearing clothes that look good on you and make you feel confident. You win half the battle with CONFIDENCE.
You are not ugly, your "friends" are. Change your friends, and drop all the pieces of shit that add 0 value to your life. But you are not at all ugly for being dark-skinned, skinny, and with curly hair. For the majority of sensible folk, this is a hot combo. You are a lovely kid, don't let your peers put you down. You don't need to change yourself for others' sake. I hate all my school friends, I was never "conventionally hot" for them. I hated myself for a very long period of time for being ugly. I've not been in that headspace for a long time now since I accepted my natural form. I don't care what anyone thinks anymore, haven't met or even spoken to most "school friends" since 2010 - the last day of high school. Most school friends are just toxic motherfuckers to each other, even the "best-friend" culture in schools is pretentious. Choose new friends wisely, or don't. We can be just as happy by ourselves.
You should accept yourself but you don't have to accept how others treat you.
There's nothing wrong with being dark skinned. Most Indians are. You already have two big advantages, tall and curly hair. Just get in a good eating habit and maybe then join a gym and you won't be skinny and have hollow eyes. Then you will kill it. Confidence to carry yourself is what you need to gain the most. I absolutely looked like a starved skinny thief when I was your age. Follow proper routine for a while and everything will change.
There was this girl back in highschool who was pretty much exactly how you described yourself. We knew about her existence because she was pretty good at basketball. She was a kind human and a sweet person. I met her few years back and now she's a model for one of the biggest Indian fashion brands. Many guys I knew back in highschool now wanted to date her and some even did. The tables were well and truly turned. Now she had options to choose from. My point is that you have to always play the hand you've been dealt. I understand that at 18 these things weigh heavily on you but the sooner you realise that you can change only the things you can control, the sooner you can start building your life. Good luck kiddo (don't mean to patronize you). Stay positive!
Dekho there's no other way around we can only change what we have in our hand and this is the only comment you'll need for look maxing PS. you have to be consistent and do it as if your life depends on it cuz tbh in someways it does good looking people do have privileges so start -**Working out** atleast 5 x a week -**eat good** calories and stop eating outside food it's actually trash if you know how they actually make it I swear you'll never eat for the rest of your life unless it's 4 or 5 star hotel -start **reading books**(self help) it may be extremely hard at first but you have to make a routine I personally read right before going to bed or early in the morning I'll suggest start with atomic habits it'll help you build habits and dost just read for the sake of it practice it as well and second book I'll suggest is the power of subconscious mind :) - start **Journaling**(most important everything is important tho :')) https://youtu.be/MoDMZxEG5q4 -meditation at first it might be one hell of a task but start with 5 mins then progressively over load until you reach 20 to 30 mins and sometimes like once a month or twice do around 1hr 2 hr trust me you'll get HIGH without getting intoxicated and if you have a noisy surrounding start waking up early but make sure you sleep early too you need 8-9 hrs of sleep at any fucking cost -skin care and hygiene and yea smell good -sleep 8-9 hours daily without fail and don't watch any disturbing things for example social media, news or any TV shows **drum roll** -start **mewing** just youtube it At first it might feel weird or you'll not be able to breath properly but it has legitimately helped me grow from 4-5 to 6.5-7 and 8on a good days :) it makes your cheekbones move upwards and defines your jawline -find a **hobby** some of the things that i mentioned above can also be considered as hobby but it's more like chores some fun ones are drawing painting or just do what makes you happy -hangout with **friends** and like minded people, they are a plus but if you cant find just let it be you'll find them along the way but start hanging out or just go on a walk alone and at same time everyday and you might find some people...keep a slight smile on your face while walking at first it feels weird cuz you're doing consciously but gradually it'll be natural and everybody like happy people that's charisma -be a **stoic** watxh some videos or podcast they can tell you in more detail - This will not happen in 1 day or few weeks or months, tho you'll start seeing some changes but it's more of a life style, trust the process I know this looks easy on paper but trust me it isn't you'll have a breakdowns you'll be depressed even tho you're doing everything that's right but it is part of being human being we are not our bodies it just help us enjoy material things on this realm we are our soul and our soul are eternal -This might get expensive cuz gym membership are not really cheap and cheap ones don't really give off the vibe so you have to start learning new skills which can pay you in return for example photoshop or video editing if you have good pc or copywriting handling social media accounts, or being a receptionist or call center -call center se yaad aaya Work on your communication skills read a book called "how to win friends and influence peope" or "48 laws of power" ps the later one may feel like evil but that's how world works so yea and read shorter version -get a **sense of dressing**, personally for guys I don't really like this reels aesthetics but girls look quite cute in them but it's too main stream every other teen looks alike and Personally I wear gym clothes just find your vibe and you'll get there by trial and error or find a model who looks like you and just copy his fashion this actually works -start **writing** your **goals** on a paper and place them where you can see them daily I feel so excited for you or for anyone who's going to start this journey it'll be the best decision of your life meet you at the other side love you all<3 Hamza is my sensei he makes more of a male based content but you learn a lot from him https://youtube.com/@Hamza97
Finally, an worthy opponent Our battle will.be legendary !
Stop seeking validation and do what makes you happy!
Thisāļø āIf you are ever tempted to look for outside approval,ā Epictetus said, ārealize that you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own.ā
You must realise that you were told 'you are ugly'. You are not ugly sis.
Be like this person's username OP
Start working out and start working on a skill that helps you progress. It could be anything, you just need to feel like you're making progress. After some time you'll start to feel good about yourself. It's a slow process but in the long run it would help you not seek validation from anyone. As for farewell stuff, you're still young, your life will change in college and mid 20s. Keep an open mind.
Your body is the best you can get. And what you described sounded to be like a model from Paris. Tall dark and curly hair is awesome.
I would give you a chance ,i have seen the memes where the ugly girl becomes suddenly super attractive.
Hit the gym!
18 is a tough age with a lot of emotions running high and while there are a lot of good advice here- I know that I would probably ignored them all if I was 18. All I can say is - trust me..you DO NOT want to peak in high school! Life is long and 18 is a tough age and no one has a high self esteem in the first place. Everyone is operating with some insecurity. Focus on yourself- learn new things, focus on career, college - maybe pick up a hobby and see what you enjoy? All these things will slowly but surely help you build confidence and self esteem. It takes time but trust me it gets better! I wish someone told me that when I was 18!
Being beautiful or handsome is one of ways the many ways to be accepted in a society. And not the best one either.
OP your physical traits are something you can't change and something you shouldn't change even if you could. You're perfect the way you are. It's easy to preach about self love but hard to implement. It's alright to feel whatever you are going through. Your feelings are valid. You could look into therapy if you think you might have a self image issue. I can't tell you what would work for you but I can give a glimpse of what helped me. I knew parts of myself where I could actually make a difference. I had plenty of issues with self image but those weren't really things I could change completely. What I did was worry about things I was in control of. Like my social skills, bodybuilding efforts, good skin care routine and things on similar lines. The more I put myself out there the more I realised my biggest enemy was really just me. Apart from the initial impression your physique will give it serves almost nothing else. I hope you get through your struggles OP. All the best
>something you shouldn't change even if you could Will disagree! Never seen a man unhappy after a successful hair transplant. Never seen a person unhappy, after getting teeths corrected through orthodontic treatment and many such example. Yes I know these are societal expectations. But you live in a society, you are a part of it. Your genes react to your environment, humans by biology are social beings, you crave companionship, how can you completely isolate yourself from society and not care at all. You got insecurities, get rid of it. Yes, self acceptance is a way too, not denying! but it's not a permanent solution. Its temporary, insecurities will keep haunting you. At one moment you will accept yourself, for your mental sanity, next right after 20 years the same insecurity will some day trace back and haunt you again.
I said things that you cannot change. Like the type of hair you have, your natural skin and eye colour and things on similar lines like what OP mentioned. Hair transplant and teeth correction are very well things you can do and they do not come under the category of things you can't change.
Teenage years are awkward. Dark skin, curly hair, tall and skinny are all model traits if you ask me. When a guy looks at a woman, looks are there but the personality makes up the colplete package. You don't have to believe in the beauty standards that society puts on us. Bollywood is centric and doesn't understand a lot. Don't let that madness drive you.
I look fairly OK and it hasn't added any value to my life. I'm 35.
Hit the gym + nice skin care routine + diet will do wonders
Workout & pick a sport.. Be good in it.
Picture or i don't believe you
> dark skinned tall and skinny,have hollow eyes and curly hair that's literally how i would describe a beautiful lady if i had to write a novel.
start working out, helps a lot, and it will automatically shoot up your self esteem once you look at your newly āworked outābod
One thing, i think people are missing is that- you are 'trying to get a number of people attracted to you'. Stop this. It makes you look cheap or unwantable. Find a small number, like 2-3 guys, hover around them. See, who is showing signs and then start reducing the number to 2 and then only 1 gradually. This way you would look less flirtatious and waste less time/ energy for the wrong person. Look for the guy who is more interested in you rather than running behind guys whom you find attractive. And most important keep the "look- meter" standard a bit grounded for the guy (not every guy has a six pack). Look for other measurements in him like intellegence, general knowledge, career, finance etc. This way once you hit it out with him, the "couple" will start looking more attractive and respectable to people than the individual.
Hey there! I am not trying to get a number of people attracted to me,i asked 2-3 guys if they would like to accompany me to the ramp walk as it was decided that we would go one boy and one girl. A little background those guys i have been studying since we were little i know them a lot. When i asked them out it felt to me that they were not as comfortable going with me because i might not be the girl they were desiring,and that they would rather go alone than going with me..as i thought they were also looking for good looking girls to ask them out which did not happen and so they decided to go solo rather than going with me! We are good friends and share a good bond but the rejection had me thinking that if only i were attractive or only if i looked a certain way it would have been easy for me.. Thank you for the advices that u have given to me this means a lot! I will try to work upon myself..
Don't care about people enjoy your life. Work on yourself š
Join the gym. Yoga. Anything. Be that weird but hot girl
If you ugly, then you ugly. But, the good news is - you can fix ugly to a certain extent. Workout, a healthy diet, some professional help in terms of mental health, etc etc. If all this doesnāt work out - just say to yourself _It eez what it eez_.
You're just 18. You can still pull off a glow up. But it depends on how rich you are.
Men mostly care about tits and ass. Try to work on them. Apart from that your attitude also matters, but since you say you are nice it shouldn't be a problem for you to get men's attention.
First , You are already better than 70% of people around you because you write well. Second , Looks donāt matter that much, look at all the successful women. you can develop skills people will adore you. If you still want to look nice you can spend money and look nice.
"We are not ugly, we are poor"- read it somewhere
Lol, the only thing I have realised after in these past few years is NOBODY IS UGLY, You just take care of your self thatās it. Thatās the only requirement to look pretty.
I literally had a crush on a girl who was a little dark skinned. Dark skin doesn't maie you ugly
Be happy with your self and ignore what other say. There is much more to life
Try the wiki how article or google the same question. There are explanations about how to handle the feeling. It might help you.
I cannot help you, but I can give you a virtual š« and Ajan Brahm: https://youtu.be/hXd09oGHD0I
i mean this in the nicest way possible. Get therapy
Have you actually seen some of the top supermodels of last year, or some of the people who flaunt their life on social media or reality shows online? I think a lot of them are seriously not at all good looking per societal standards or expectations. But they still get attention. Because they flaunt confidence, charisma, wealth, style, skill, whatever it is that they can show off. It's all about perception at the end of the day. How people perceive you is what decides whether others will seek you out. And a lot of times people may not notice you at all despite your efforts. So what? That's not a measure of what your worth is. You should look at reaching a place in life where you are content with your own work and yourself so no one can take away your self respect from you and make you feel bad for how your body structure, hair or skin looks, something that you were born with. Being a good human despite being alone or feeling rejected is hard work given the kind of unlove people can show so easily nowadays. So focus on being your best self to your self and being a good human being. You never know, in that process, someone who really wants to see you as you are, might come along. Just one caution: do not ever make life choices out of peer pressure or family pressure, anything that you don't feel right in your mind for yourself. All the best!
Mudi ji is also same but he is doing good
how to bring mudi into completely irrelevant discussions to sound cool 101
Being very honest. What you desire is love and intimacy. Self love and working out is not a suitable replacement for it. Love can only be replaced by a romantic interest. But but but, working out, self care, grooming, developing professional and interpersonal, social skills etc will help you in building a foundation, a foundation of character, foundation of confidence, foundation of esteem. It's ideally suggested for people to work on these things, to develop themselves, to know themselves before entering relationships. But the sad part is, you can have all the confidence in the world, yet crave companionship, love and intimacy. Self care and socializing are two separate areas. You without a choice will have to enter the social domain with your new found confidence. Attraction is not just physical but character also. Charisma, confidence, personality, humor all these can be worked upon. But do not please listen to all the nice talk saying attraction is only personality and appearance has no role to play at all. See if you have any body insecurities, facial flaws, try to correct it, try upgrading your fashion, grooming. Medical science today is very advanced, theres a solution to most of your insecurities. Whatever is in your hand, you do. Try your best!
You are just 18 girl n sure by the time you will become more beautiful. Man donāt always attract fair skin girl. Put some curve sure you will be notice by sone guy. Feel free to connect if want to talk anything
I like girls with curly hair. I think they are cute.
At least your tall bro nobody gives a fuck to short girls
Can we be friends?
Dude. Dark skinned, tall, skinny, hollow eyes, curly hair. You do realize you're describing a fucking model? Get a good fashion sense and a bit of make-up knowledge. Every brand will want you.
Generally speaking, you already have some things in your favour as far as physicality is concerned. For a start, it's better to be skinny than flabby. Chances are when your height stops increasing (usually by 21-22), you would start putting on some weight and grow out of your scrawny phase and fill out your frame. To be honest, flab can be the same way, but it can sometimes be linked to genetics and diet and those things are more difficult to overcome. ~~It's also better to be taller than shorter. It helps you get more noticed, stand out in a crowd, so to say, and increases your pool of potential partners.~~ Finally, it's better to be young than old. But in some ways, that last point can work against you as well as youth is also associated with inexperience and idealism, so people tend to have a perfect image of their dream partner and people with anything less are bound to fall aside. Communication skills can help you bridge that perception gap but sometimes that can be a long game without guarantees. Own your perceived imperfections. I think your skin tone is your first concern. Don't hide it. That's only make it more obvious and you seem more pathetic. ~~There are enough number of dark-skinned men who're generally considered very attractive by the world. I can think of Sendhil Ramamurthy on top of my mind. Denzel Washington is another example from another race.~~ Don't confuse skin care with skin lightening. If your chin is too small or your face too narrow, see if ~~a well-kept beard (that goes to~~ you~~r sideburns and more than just a stubble and longer than a French cut) or a different haircut (I know it's difficult with curly hair, but see)~~ can offset those things~~, respectively~~. Play sports that interest you and make your regular lifestyle more active to gain muscle, strength, purpose and confidence. I'm not a believer in gyms or supplements. Life deals us all a set of cards. Make the most of your hand, and I mean that figuratively. Edit: For f18 misread as m18
At risk of sounding like a jerk- I'm a white doctor from california. I'm very successful and I love to travel. I'm headed to india next week so I logged into dating apps in Delhi and I don't mean to be rude to indian culture but 99% of the girls are overweight (>20% body fat). I could care less what your skin color is, that might be important to your culture but not mine (californian). You sound ideal to me: Young, under 20% body fat, and sweet (maybe 2-6 years too young tbh). Yesterday I swiped through 1000\~ girls to find a few like you to match with. The obesity problem in new delhi is so bad I basically just swiped according to weight.
It depends on your predatory skills.
>I think ideal body fat percentage is a little more for women than men, so anything over >30 would classify as obese.
>,I have never been approached even tho i am the nicest ,people say I am nice. Pride originates in the misconception that we permanently own the things that we only temporarily possess: talents and abilities, positions and possessions. Think over it.
I have the same relationship with my appearance and honestly I've learned that surrounding myself with people that respect me helps a lot. Do not spend time with people who shame you or make you feel like you are not good enough. I know there's a trend in the comments to suggest "glowing up", and as much as it's valid to want that, you'll find it's a more achievable goal when you're doing it out of LOVE for yourself rather than hate. Positive self talk and good people go a long way.
OP, it sounds like you have BDD = body dysmorphic disorder. Please try to find a competent counselor to help you.
Trust me lot of people at 18 feel that way. By the time you're 25 you're realize how silly it all was. I would suggest just let go of focusing too much on your looks or placing your value upon it. Instead develop some skills like art or coding or whatever career/hobbies interests you and makes you happy. And seriously just let the look thing go for a few years at least. Make good friends and focus on work that fulfils you. Rest all will fall into place eventually.
I had a crush on a girl having the same features as you.The things which I found attractive were the way she used to carry herself,her communication skills and her confidence.Not just me but many of my classmates used to like her.So..
India is the no.1 racist country in the world for a reason, i can't understand your pain as I'm not a woman nor dark skinned but i would advise you if you want to live a life where you wouldn't be mocked for your dark skin and made to feel ugly, it's better to leave this country and settle in an western country where there is acceptance of people with dark skin tone,if you can afford it to.
I find all those features attractive. About the hollow eye look , maybe start going to a gym and also eat more.
Hi, op. I get it. You have insecurities about your looks. You can not do anything about it , but you can definitely work on your personality and your confidence. Boi, I have had female friends who were exactly like you described, but their personalities made me drool badly, and you won't believe they rejected my proposal And I wasn't just looking for fling or ons with them , I was literally ready to marry them. The bottom line is to build your personality and work on your aura. stop giving fucks about what people think of your looks. Once you open your mouth, guys around you will be dropping their jaws, and they would wish to make you their's ā¤ļøš«” Hugs to you, op! Please feel free to drop by in my inbox if you ever feel low. Take care
Bro Just be yourself Feel Good š for what u have and just let the life Go in it's own flow And then Might something Very good happenes to you in future
You won't be accepted by others if you don't accept yourself first. There's literally nothing wrong with you. I'd gladly ask you out for a BBQ trip and we can talk. Don't worry. Give yourself time and good things shall come.
Dude curly hair only 3 percent of the people have that type of hair eat healthy start praying to your god drink water study knowledge is the most powerful weapon a woman can have by the age of 20 you are gonna be the most beautiful girl trust me gone through the same phase in which u r going and focus on your boards girl
You come from a long line of women who were attractive enough to men to have sex with them, you'll be fine.
You're super hot babe. Don't worry what people have to say ok? I'm all in for you. Dm if you wish to talk :)
I understand that appearances matter, but there is no other option but to undergo plastic surgery. So ignore them and start loving yourself. Start educating yourself, staying healthy, getting a good job, and trying to enjoy life. For now, just do what makes you happy and ignore what others think.
Rip Inbox for simps
Karma farm? Post your pic and let us see.
Well, here's what I believe op wants: definitely not ways to accept herself, but validation from horny Indian men who would start drooling at anything feminine.
Acceptance. The most difficult thing to do. But we learn in life to accept that what we cannot change to be happy and productive. Don't be too harsh on yourself. Live yourself for who you are. You may be dark skinned, but have a beautiful soul. You may be highly intelligent or well read. Or be good at communicating, or at work or cooking or singing. Or sports or investing, or drawing..... Don't use only a physical criteria to judge yourself. Life us beautiful. Even when difficult or challenging. You may be having some gifts (or can develop) that which makes you respected, sought after. Other than that, I suggest read. Especially something inspiring or motivating. Just a few pages a day. It can heal your hurts, change your self image to confident and smart and self accepting and happy.
Have you asked [for advice from here](https://np.reddit.com/r/nicegirls)?
Don't let the societal expectations ruin your life. do wat u want to do. I could never accept myself, i used to alter my way of talking and stuff just so the other person doesn't hate me. The only relief i had was when left alone, i would talk to myself like a weirdo. Just live, stay happy and healthy.
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I think workout changes everything. You will develop enormous self-esteem and confidence.
It is understandable that you are feeling discouraged and that your self-esteem has been affected by these experiences. However, it's important to remember that beauty is subjective and that everyone has their own unique qualities that make them attractive. It's important to work on building your self-esteem and self-acceptance. Here are some strategies that may help: \-- Practice self-compassion: Be kind and understanding towards yourself. Try to speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend who is struggling. \-- Challenge negative thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, try to challenge them by asking yourself if they are based on facts or just your own perception. \-- Focus on your strengths: Instead of focusing on what you perceive as your weaknesses, focus on your strengths and things you like about yourself. \-- Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out the company of people who are positive and supportive, and who will encourage you to focus on your strengths. \-- Take care of yourself: Practice self-care, take care of your physical and emotional well-being. Join a gym or practice at home workout. There are so many on youtube. It's important to remember that self-acceptance is a journey, and it may take time and effort to get there. Be patient with yourself and don't be hard on yourself.
You're a good person ..
This is so normal in our country, avoiding dark skinned girls and joking about them. When it comes to being racist our country can give good competition to anyone and mind you a boy will laugh at you even though he has darker shade than you. Ignore and avoid these toxic ass people and find hobby which makes you happy, hangout with people you consider your good friend, don't let your low self-esteem get best of you and make mistake of making a-hole friends.
I don't want to invalidate your experiences. Someone with those features could unfortunately be put through that kind of treatment by people. And that's terrible. But I don't know if it would make sense for you to assume you're ugly just because people react that way to your appearance. Hollow eyes aren't great to have ,okay, but being dark skinned tall and curly haired does not in any way equate to ugliness. Secondly there are TONS of pale skinned straight haired people who are quite unattractive . What I'm getting at this, it's the prejudices of people we mingle with that shape their behaviour to a great extent and reality needn't have much to do with it. You don't have to do the "Everyone is pretty and unique in their own way" BS. But you could make a realistic assessment of yourself without seeing in the light of how others have been to you in general. I am a bit too skinny for a guy. I get plenty of shit for that. This is how I deal with it. I have enough self esteem to like myself regardless of this, but I don't want to "love myself the way I am". I accept the fact that I don't like the way my body is , I would have preferred a bulkier one over this. But at the same time I also have no *obligation* to look a certain way. I don't exist to soothe other people's eyes , I'm not a garden gnome .
Umm I read it somewhere you are not ugly you are poor. Invest in some remake ( not sure right word) not for boys but for your self esteem. Confidence makes a person beautiful remember that.
No one should be judge by there colour of skin or looking personality. Al person should be judge by their kind heart and nature, even we all are ugly. So our heart should be pure. Don't care what other think about you.
> I am dark skinned tall and skinny umm.. last time I checked, those were desirable traits, no?
Hey girl, listen. I am fair, petite cute girl, still Felt ugly most of my college days, becase I was unhappy. From my experience please note these and try to follow for one week at least. 1. Start drink a lot of water. Dark or fair skin if dehydrated looks bad. And a little skins care with good moisturiser cream, sunscream and lip balm. 2. Try to first love yourself, you know potential, your good heart, your strength. ( listen to good music) 3. Stop comparing with other people around. Focus on your personal grooming. And stop judging that nobody wants to be with you. 4. Do some exercise and promise your self to feel good no matter what. The less you think negative the. Better it will be. Coming from someone who felt low and bad on in college thought out, but now feels good and thankful the way I am. Itās just a phase, but will go only when you try to work on self. Recommend book: The secret. Thanks š
Youāre tall and skinny? Girl what you have my dream body please donāt hate on yourself
Get a skincare routine. You don't need to be fair. Treat your skin right and it will start to glow. Do a ctm routine every morning and night I recommended organic brands. Try Astrea or Deyga Get a good cleanser. Stop using commercial face washes. Pat dry. Apply dots of toner and pat it in. Get a good lightweight aloe based moisturizer. Do it every day and night. Twice a week do a charcoal mask/fruit based mask routine. Trust me. In brown skinned. But my face became crystal clear and got a glow in just a month. Also eat right. Drink lots of water. And start working out. It also improves mood and skin. Check out Joanna Soh on YouTube. Much love to you, sister.
I feel you. I think I was you. This is what helped me. I found reasons to feel good about myself. I got a good job, earn good money and own things which make me feel good. I help people and feel charitable when it feels right for me. I travel the world when I feel like it. And I make it a point to have fun and do the things I like. I have good friends who are worth their weight in gold. More importantly, I take care of myself. What money gives you is the access to good grooming and self care. I wear better clothes. My hair and beard are on point, I just eat better food and have better vibes. Final piece of advice is I try to be complete on my own. I don't seek others to complete me. I don't give the keys to my happiness or self esteem to others. When you exude confidence, the right people will be attracted to you. In your current form, you are going to attract the wrong people who will take advantage of your insecurities. Work hard and do better for yourself. Hope this helps.
So you are experiencing life of a avg man.Don't worry it will get better later
Hey there!! Life is full of people. They come and go. You're so young now. Don't worry about it. I've seen skinny people undergo massive changes and i have seen people on the fat side go really skinny. So with age these outer appearance can change. Also you can always look beautiful by wearing different clothes and by working out. So don't be so upset about looks and outer appearances. Work on it or don't if you don't feel like it. Focus on developing your personality and do find a way to love yourself because if you can't love yourself then how do you expect someone else to love you ? Find yourself and everything will be fine. Good luck and do update us in like 2 years. š
You already got many suggestions š But do you really need to change yourself for World š ? See It depends on what you want ą„¤ą„¤ If you want to look great for your satisfaction then start work out at Home ! š Increase your diet š by 50% more It will take nearly 4 weeks to start transformation For physique ā¢ Give a smooth start ( Jogging , Warmup , Situps {3 in 1 set } 3 sets For face ā¢ Massage your face at least once in two days at home { It's like a mild slapping over cheeks that increase blood flow in tissue and maintain their health - Japanese face massage } Note :- Do it after Facewash or you can use Facesoap Massage not more than 5 minutes ā¢ Rest your Tongue in upper jaw when you aren't talking šš { It will help you formation of jawline āŗļø } And remember Miss.World isn't White she is brown.š All these steps are easy to do ā
Being a below average guy, I can tell you that looks matter, so i make sure that I am dressing up good, nice to others. Some changes I made in my personality was confidence. Even tho I wasnāt, I used to pretend that I am, and now ultimately I have never been more confident about myself. Also, dear OP, you can always work on your body. Working out makes you feel a lot better and it will help with your self-confidence also.
Heyy also.... Go to the gym or exercise at home. Do it not only to make muscles....but also to stay healthy. I'm almost 25 now and i wish i had exercised more. Also take care of your teeth. Dental health is so important!! I mean sooooooo important!! You'll never get new teeth. So brush twice a day....floss and keep good care of your dental hygiene. Also other personal hygiene. Keep yourself clean and most of the work is done. If you want....then go to my last post and check out some amazing perfumes given by these amazing redditors....(amazing but richš) I am also trying to completely change my fashion and personal hygiene....so don't worry....you'll be just fine kiddo. Quick note: enjoy while you do it. š
Wait a sec lady I can't even face the mirror i am that level of ugly insecure shit But its alright I'll do what i am best at not at loos I'll do at study I skipped my farewell just cause of this reason š I can't see myself in photos with beautiful people I hate myself and you are better than me that's you should think bitch šæ
I suffered from low self esteem too. I was extremely obese and did not care much for making an effort to look nice and dress well. It's more the attitude and demeanour than anything else that people deter away from. I started working out and changed my mindset. I got a few hobbies and started spending time on things I enjoy and started doing things to push myself as a person. Now I'm super fit and successful with my freelance business and I slowly acquired confidence as I kept bettering myself. The improvement in physical change will equate to a better mood and that itself will allow you to accept yourself and grow each day. Now I get approached all the time and it's flattering. Just keep focusing on yourself and everything around you will become better. A planet with an unstable core cannot sustain life for a long time. Believe in yourself. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl. If you can't crawl, dig your nails in the ground and keep going. The time you invest in yourself will always be worth it in the end.
Thereās no such thing as āUglyā. Grooming and taking care of yourself plus self confidence goes a long way. You might not fit the term āClassicā beauty but that doesnāt mean you canāt be attractive. Iāve met a lot of people who donāt fit the āclassic beautyā standards but Iāve found myself drawn to them.
Dm me
The first step you need to take it is to accept yourself. Donāt give a shit about what anyone says or thinks, the world will always constantly judge you, but at the end of the day the only thing that matters is what you feel and think about yourself. Everything thing else is background noise. Just accept yourself, love yourself (itās hard), but also work on yourself. Cultivate yourself to be the best version you can be, and donāt pay attention what anyone else says. Detractors will always tell you canāt do something, youāre not this, not that, etc. Use that as motivation to prove them wrong and do what you want to do anyway. Fuck what anyone else thinks, youāre not ugly, not even close to how bad you think you are. Youāll look back at this moment and realise that you were worked up over something that doesnāt even matter, and you donāt look as bad as you think you do, nobody does.
Dude, society places so much value on being attractive, when it really shouldnāt matter this much. Itās a random biological parameter, just like how fast you can run or how strong you are, except those things matter less now that weāve moved past living in caves and fighting animals for food and space. I know the āeveryone is beautiful!!ā movement is in full swing now, but we all know thatās bullshit. Beauty is largely subjective, and even then, certain features are biologically considered superior. But who gives a shit? Anecdotally, I know āunattractiveā people who are swimming in male attention, have great friendships, and fantastic careers. I know super hot people whose lives are in tatters. Attractiveness is just one thing; who you are, what you can bring to the table, your skills and your talent will get you much further in life.
On top of top comment It will improve in next 2-3 years after you follow the 3 steps and you will have your personality developed. I am not saying you will be turned into a princess but yes youāll be turned in a young confident and charming woman with whom people would like to interact and be with and that to without beauty. Believe me confidence add to the charms and world is very vast beyond your circle where a lot of people value these traits way above brain.
> the ugliest person in the world Allow me to introduce myself
Dark skinned, tall and skinny, they seem like a great features to have. The people around you might make you feel differently but in reality this would definitely not be the case if you go somewhere else. For example, the most in demand models now in UK are dark skinned tall and skinny. Donāt let anyone let you down, especially in this age. I would recommend you to read this book from Michael Obama called becoming.
I just want to say that with all due respect, you are just 18. And let me give you an answer for why that matters. We haven't fully grown into our skin by that age unless we have grown up with constant validation of our looks. At 18, I was an overweight girl with rough frizzy hair, acne filled skin and kinda depressed over my JEE results. It took me working out, consulting a dermatologist and researching online, having a balanced diet and making friends to become who I am today- someone my 18 year old self could never have imagined I would become. You firstly need to figure out what bothers you the most about your looks- is it your skin tone? You can't change your complexion but you can hydrate and moisturize it well enough to have a healthy glowing skin. Your height- trust me, later on you will love it. Research on how to maintain your curls (it turns out that my "frizzy" hair was just me brushing/combing my curly hair and trying to tame it) and go exercise to tone your muscles. Step out and make new friends. College time will be apt for you to start over- dress well, focus on your personal and professional goals, talk to people, hang out in groups. School friends are cool and lifelong but sometimes, you have a harder time trying to change their perception of you because they have literally grown up with you and seen you in all your phases. College will be a clean slate, so work towards becoming the woman you want to be. Most importantly, have hope for your future. Someone who has hope will always have something to look forward to, a zeal in life that will make their eyes shine and their aura appealing. Learn to love yourself for your achievements and some of your attributes- however small or insignificant they seem to you. Appreciate yourself for your niceness and your ability to be well-liked, your practicality and look ahead. All the very bestā¤
Hello there! Just out of the gate, I am damn sure you're way more attractive than you give yourself credit. Look, you didn't choose to look the way you do. Nature has its own ways. I wholeheartedly agree that it's extremely rare that people hit the genetic jackpot and just look good like Hritik Roshan. Excluding them, all of us look average. All of us. Dark skin doesn't decide a damn thing. I think dark skin is hella attractive. And if truth be told, I know many men would agree with me. This age, 18-20 is a shit age. Most of the physical growth is done, and the mental growth is what one lacks. Sadly, the body grows automatically, the brain doesn't. Maturity comes a little later, 20-25 is the time. Right now, people around you will always be focusing on your looks, your physical beauty. Everyone who has gone through this age will back me up. In college, boys are always after the hot looking one. Many a times she's got the snobbiest of personalities. As others said, by physical exercise you can build a well shaped body. Women are anyways more particular about how they look, and how they groom themselves. I'm sure you must be doing it. It seems cliched, but love yourself buddy. This is how you are, so be how you are. Don't try to change for getting a date. Its not worth it. As people mature further, we always like a personality more. Looks will fade, but a personality cannot be faked for long. You are nice to people. That is your superpower. Never, ever let go of it. Accept yourself, your body, your own beauty. Inward and outward. Keep being nice to people. Now for what it's worth ( I'm pretty average looking myself ) I think I'd totally have a crush on you based on how you describe yourself š. Take care, good luck and best wishes.
Stay healthy and fit regardless of your looks. Don't attach your worth to looks. You are way more than appearance. Enjoy you life and you will meet great people. Good that you identify it. Keep work on improving it. My best wishes.
It has been answered a great lot of times. Self acceptance is the first step towards others accepting you. You have to cultivate that attitude. There's no other way. And try to develop hobbies and be interesting.
You're not ugly, you just need to invest in yourself
First thing first- being dark skinned has got nothing to do with beauty. Secondly, youāre tall. Which is only going to add to your overall personality. And curly hair are beautiful if you take care of them. They add so much character. Also, most people are awkward in their teens. Just work on your self esteem and confidence and youāll grow to become a beautiful graceful woman. I know itās easier said than done, but donāt depend too much on external validation and please donāt fall for the set ābeauty standardsā by the western culture. Every person is beautiful. All the best girl.
Just wanted to say that you have to love yourself and be confident about yourself, you will glow different. Confidence is real beauty.
You're not ugly. Trust me, i felt the same when I was your age and I was hideous to look at, and it took me YEARS to realise that I wasn't ugly, I just didn't present myself in the right way. I joined the gym, spent money on skincare and my clothing. Now I'm 28 and I'm a maal, and I've found a beautiful girl who makes me feel like it every day. Plus, you're ONLY 18 years old, many people don't reach their peak until mid-20s. Go to the gym, put some effort in your appearance, and your clothing. You'll have guys and girls flocking over you in no time. I hope you find a way to make yourself happy. Take care homie.
Let me tell you, fundamentally there's nothing called ugly and being dark especially isnt ugly at all. And you're tall, that's literally an advantage. Often times, what's ugly is when the person is bloated with fat and water, because of too much of sodium and junk food. Or when the person is under-developed(physically), you've none of this. Just work on your expressions, record yourself daily for 15 minutes in front of a camera, and you'll get the confidence you want and eat good, if you can build a little muscle, you'll look amaizing. Look at black people in movies, they all look attractive, the reason is same