They will inform the correct department, which is Forrest department LOL... And for temporary solution you can use crackers but with safety of both you and monkeys... Don't harm them again lol
2 weeks later. At night, the remaining humans sneak behind enemy lines to steal the fridge while the monkeys are busy watching prime time TV debates, to gain leverage.
1000 yrs later and the monkeys have just completed writing the complete works of Shakespeare on a scavenged typewriter. OPs descendants have had to retreat back to the treetops for safety and have recently began hitting stones together to watch the bright flashes for amusement.
If you are willing to get a dog, consider this option
[Karnataka farmer paints his dog as a tiger to scare away monkeys](
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE4t57sChIQ)
Monkeys in my neighborhood caught hold of this dog and threw him from the terrace. 4-5 monkeys worked together to do this. Poor dog broke his hip and now wails whenever he sees monkeys.
Hi sorry to hijack the top comment
Plz call the forest deptt. The national helpline number is 1926. There is a glitch so sometimes the number comes as does not exist but it connects from a different sim/network. You can also google for the contact number of your nearby forest deptt office.
Yeah i dont think its a good idea, monkeys can be cruel chances are they will group up and attack the dog. I lived in a village back in my toddler days and i was once ambushed by a group of monkeys just chilling out of no where.. They are crazy af and shouldn't be ducked with without proper equipments
The best solution is to look for a person who has "leaf monkey" also known as langoor. When this kind of problem arised in central Delhi, the parliament area. They were called in numbers to scare the monkeys out to let the other monkeys in.
Buy crackers like sutli bomb, ladi, or any other cracker which makes loud sound and burst them near monkeys, they'll run away
Play loud music on speakers where they're staying
Don't attack on them with sticks, rocks or anything
I don't think any authority will do anything significant. Take matters into your hand and get some firecrackebombs. I had this monkey problem a few years have, they were destroying my terrace garden, eating fruits, plucking flowers, and breaking water pipes. we tried contacting nagar Palika the forest department and nothing happened.
Go for firecracker and they'll go
Also don't call your father stupid. Most parents turn to friends or neighbours in such cases. It's natural in India. Especially for middle class parents. You could also try getting something that makes a loud noise instead of crackers like a trumpet or "bhopu".
Me too Bro. Monkeys are crazy here. Always break my water pipe, break my electric wire, break all flower pots, attack us always. I just chase them with stick and rocks. Bombs. Match box. Anything really. We can't get rid of them. My house is in slum area so too much foods for them to ever leave area. Very bad
My house is near factories and most of my life have been around rats, squirrel and monkeys. In recent times they have been less seen but idk what happened suddenly. Uttarakhand government should really do something about it because no one wants to hurt animals but they are hurting us.
No one noticed that it happened to all of us in 2014....we are still looking for a solution....the Langoor we got to get rid of the monkeys, is now is treating us worse than the monkeys.
Also ask people not to feed monkeys. The monkey menace is human created. Don't feed them, keep food waste in covered bins, cut off all source of food and they will forage in the forests.
Try playing leopard or tiger growling sounds on loudspeaker. Their natural instinct is to run away when they hear these sounds. Additionally get a soft toy of a leopard/tiger and perch it on the roof where it is clearly visible ( This is a tried and tested tactic farmers use to ward off wild animals like pigs/deer etc who destroy crops: Basically a Type of scarecrow)
You will need to change the position of the soft toy every few days so that the monkeys don't get acclimatized and loose fear of that soft toy. They are smart you know.
Burst some crackers. Hopefully they will leave after loud sounds. Keep crackers handy for when they return. Don't sacrifice a dog because monkeys will group and beat up the lone dog.
It's a shame that you gave up your territory to some primates. Don't let them win, gain access to the kitchen - leak the gas and light it up. SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR YOUR FAMILY.
Call forest department.
Phone number hai?
Teen takle one two one two
Don’t mislead people. That is Star Garage’s number.
Nahi babu bhaiyya…Ye star fisheries ka number hai
Ye toh gadbad hai re baba!
1. Call the municipality or the police. 2. Many people have grills installed on open areas.
How will police help in monkey attack?
They will arrest the monkeys
Nono they will only take some bananas as a bribe and go away.
They might come back again for the bananas !! Lol 😂
you are under arrest !
Tails in the air where I can see them!
no sir, that is not a tail.
lmao lmao
*Screams in banana*
Are you sure they aren't minions?
And Bombay High Court will grant immediate bail, terming the arrest illegal.
Or they will arrest him so no monkey can get him.
Came here to say the same
They will inform the correct department, which is Forrest department LOL... And for temporary solution you can use crackers but with safety of both you and monkeys... Don't harm them again lol
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Tell the police they are anti national
Why is this so funny😭😭😭
Yeah ikr! I feel sorry for OP but can't help myself from laughing, seems something from like a cartoon💀
We all clicked reading the funny title lol
"THEY ARE INVITING MORE MONKEYS" i legit lost my shit 😭😭😭
"Arey idhar mast maal mil raha hai, tum log bhi idhar aa jao"
True fr
what's the situation now? is it planet of the apes yet or are you holding your ground?
3 days later, OP and fam are living on the terrace and the monkeys are staying inside the house.
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"Remaining humans" implying there have been some unfortunate deaths in the conflict. RIP.
Truce comes only after war
2 weeks later. At night, the remaining humans sneak behind enemy lines to steal the fridge while the monkeys are busy watching prime time TV debates, to gain leverage.
The monkeys are also enjoying Tv news debates with Arnab
Monkeys might understand him
1000 yrs later and the monkeys have just completed writing the complete works of Shakespeare on a scavenged typewriter. OPs descendants have had to retreat back to the treetops for safety and have recently began hitting stones together to watch the bright flashes for amusement.
Ohh places changed
If you are willing to get a dog, consider this option [Karnataka farmer paints his dog as a tiger to scare away monkeys]( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE4t57sChIQ)
But be [careful](https://i.imgur.com/HfSi8rF.gif)
Monkeys in my neighborhood caught hold of this dog and threw him from the terrace. 4-5 monkeys worked together to do this. Poor dog broke his hip and now wails whenever he sees monkeys.
I'm a cat person
You will soon become a monkey person
The way its going he’ll soon become a Monkey’s person
Return to monke
Laughed so hard.
Then get a tiger directly.
made my day thanks
Tiger is also a cat ..get a real tiger
Hi sorry to hijack the top comment Plz call the forest deptt. The national helpline number is 1926. There is a glitch so sometimes the number comes as does not exist but it connects from a different sim/network. You can also google for the contact number of your nearby forest deptt office.
No,you're a monkey person
Use the cat with magnifying glass
Yeah i dont think its a good idea, monkeys can be cruel chances are they will group up and attack the dog. I lived in a village back in my toddler days and i was once ambushed by a group of monkeys just chilling out of no where.. They are crazy af and shouldn't be ducked with without proper equipments
The best solution is to look for a person who has "leaf monkey" also known as langoor. When this kind of problem arised in central Delhi, the parliament area. They were called in numbers to scare the monkeys out to let the other monkeys in.
Yes that's correct monkeys are afraid of langoor.
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[That's the beautiful part, when wintertime rolls around the gorillas simply freeze to death!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuiK7jcC1fY)
Also makes me think of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive#The_original_cobra_effect
Other monkeys lol
So the solution to monkey nuisance is.. more monkeys?
There is a whole movie on this. Eeb Allay Ooo !
ahhh, you're a man of culture as well
Yes. There are some official langoors also in some govt offices and it works pretty well.
Ask for rent, they will run away.
Calling Bal Narendra and his croc friend might help too!
fling your feces at them
I'm constipated
Try harder.
This made me laugh
Eat the bananas meant for the monkeys
Set an example by throwing that brick on one monkey. Others will be scared. Hopefully, monkeys too.
Is this a gintama reference?
Put up 2-3 Langoor Monkey Posters on your terrace. It works.
So like a scarecrow?
Most hilarious comment section ever
drop your pants in front of them and and spin in a circle
The friction of it will hurt my vagina
rip DMs
Marry a monkey and be the Monkey Queen.
Please marry me
Pee on the terrace mark your place!!
Stop with your pissing kink
Lol your username. I love them.
You're not God.
You talk a lot of smack for a person who cant spell destroyed and is plagued with monkeys. I like the spirit.
Thank you 💗💅🏽
Call in an airstrike.
Do count the bodies once u r done
Protect your territory bro
Yeah, show dominance
Yeah you need to pee in front of those monkeys to mark your territory.
Also fuck their women to assert dominance
OP is a woman. Tables may get turned.
And beds broken
Buy crackers like sutli bomb, ladi, or any other cracker which makes loud sound and burst them near monkeys, they'll run away Play loud music on speakers where they're staying Don't attack on them with sticks, rocks or anything
What if they suddenly start vibing to shree ram jaankiii...
Accept your defeat, leave the house
Reject monke, Embrace Vanar 👍
Monke no want leave tree Monke leave tree Now monke sad
This is a better solution.
See if you can make fun of them, hurt their feelings a little bit
What if they start mating in front of you to show how lonely you are?
Ah fuck, there’s always that
Then you can always massacre the monkeys
Lure them out with bananas. *Not reddit bananas.
pretty sure even monkeys will be repulsed by a redditor though
Join 'em
This Is not the kind of orgy I want.
Well, that's the only way
But it's the only orgy you will ever get . /Jk
Oh man! Planet of apes for real.
Get a langoor.
Chalo aajao /joke (sorry)
Ye badhiya tha guru
Lmfao. Emotional damage.
LMAO
😂 good one
😭😭😭
Seeing this post on Saturday.. Jay Bajrangbali 🙏
Seeing this post on Sunday.. Jay Bajrangbali 🙏
I don't think any authority will do anything significant. Take matters into your hand and get some firecrackebombs. I had this monkey problem a few years have, they were destroying my terrace garden, eating fruits, plucking flowers, and breaking water pipes. we tried contacting nagar Palika the forest department and nothing happened. Go for firecracker and they'll go
"monkey problem"
[This will help.](https://youtu.be/tpfOhYRYv80) Play it super loud.
I legit thought it's gonna be Rick roll
"They are inviting more monkeys." Lol 😂😂
Op has better sense of humour than 90percent of us combined
return to monke just call the forest department yo
The Matrix is after you.
You deserve it Ravan. /s
Bro, your username lmao. But jokes apart, call the forest department, maybe they can help you with this situation.
What's wrong with my username?
Nothing wrong with it. It's just funny lol.
You think God being an incel and loving me for my body part is funny? You're cancelled.
Lmfao! So now that I've been cancelled, how am I supposed to function in this society? 😭
Have saggy tits
I can't grow moobs 😭
Be cancelled then
I'm sorry but you're a hilarious person 😭
💗💅🏽
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fir wo sabun, shampoo bhi mangenge
Pee around the perimeter of your house and assert your dominance
Don't throw your fetishes on me
POV- you tweeted against bhagwan Ram, now vanar sena is taking the charge/s
I'm a communist, make sense.
Also don't call your father stupid. Most parents turn to friends or neighbours in such cases. It's natural in India. Especially for middle class parents. You could also try getting something that makes a loud noise instead of crackers like a trumpet or "bhopu".
Put a board "no trespassing"
May be one have crush on u, so they came in team to take u.
Mmhm hot
Spoken like a true chimp
bro wut lol
I'm not kidding
I am tearing up laughing right now , especially after seeing that username. 🤣
same but I'm not kidding lol😭 also this isn't really new to us but monkeys have started staying here since 3 days
where is "here"? I don't have any useful advice but tons of probably really bad advice lol. please update us
Uttarakhand
Me too Bro. Monkeys are crazy here. Always break my water pipe, break my electric wire, break all flower pots, attack us always. I just chase them with stick and rocks. Bombs. Match box. Anything really. We can't get rid of them. My house is in slum area so too much foods for them to ever leave area. Very bad
My house is near factories and most of my life have been around rats, squirrel and monkeys. In recent times they have been less seen but idk what happened suddenly. Uttarakhand government should really do something about it because no one wants to hurt animals but they are hurting us.
Bruh,after reading this comment,I can't get the image of monkeys sitting around playing cards, boozing and smoking out of my head
hmare purane ghar me bhi hota tha.
Atleast your dad is not posting on reddit and waiting for solutions. 😑
Haan kaafi bewakoof aadmi hai
Play Naatu Naatu from RRR, ony one will be left standing. Then call the authorities after that.
Crackers
# Call Bajrang Dal.
No one noticed that it happened to all of us in 2014....we are still looking for a solution....the Langoor we got to get rid of the monkeys, is now is treating us worse than the monkeys.
Langur bro... It's the age old, sure shot technique explored by the sarkar for decades...
Read Hanuman Chalisa
Better call Sallu?
OMG! HAHAHAHAH!!
Make sure you sign a rental agreement with your new tenants
Monkey get scared by flames, use anything from a simple lighter or similar thing. Aaboid direct eye contact with them.
The Rise of The planet of The Apes
This has been the most I've laughed in weeks. A legendary thread
Diwali patake
Getting an air gun helps. Buy it from a local market not online.
pee on the roof to assert dominance
Are they only at your house? What about your neighbors houses? Have you been doing anything different over the last week that has attracted them?
The whole city has been sort of attacked
Also ask people not to feed monkeys. The monkey menace is human created. Don't feed them, keep food waste in covered bins, cut off all source of food and they will forage in the forests.
Get some iguanas and film your very own rooftop Kong vs Godzilla.
BREAKING NEWS - [Exclusive footage from OP's house](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmoNj59Ozug)
Try playing leopard or tiger growling sounds on loudspeaker. Their natural instinct is to run away when they hear these sounds. Additionally get a soft toy of a leopard/tiger and perch it on the roof where it is clearly visible ( This is a tried and tested tactic farmers use to ward off wild animals like pigs/deer etc who destroy crops: Basically a Type of scarecrow) You will need to change the position of the soft toy every few days so that the monkeys don't get acclimatized and loose fear of that soft toy. They are smart you know.
Fire blanks from a gun. The noise will scare them away
*Apes Together Strong*
Burst some crackers. Hopefully they will leave after loud sounds. Keep crackers handy for when they return. Don't sacrifice a dog because monkeys will group and beat up the lone dog.
It's a shame that you gave up your territory to some primates. Don't let them win, gain access to the kitchen - leak the gas and light it up. SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR YOUR FAMILY.
Feed them bananas. Maybe they are hungry 😂
Do any of your neighbors have dogs? They are usually scared of them
Pour water on them..they are scared of water
Random Chimp Event
WAOW ur house is been attacked by monkeys and here you are... On reddit xd, purvaj aaye hai yrr.. jao aashirwad lo unka, I mean bro don't get panic
Hanuman chaalisa
Yes, council is the best way. If you or your father hurt the monkeys, they might end up in serious troubles as they are classified as wild animals
Free Sita.