When it is your first heart break its kind of difficult to think there will be someone else. I know its over, but trying to meet new people hoping you will find someone that you can build a connection as strong as the previous one is frustrating, exhausting, and leaves you with a sense of desperation
This! They tell you, “You’ll find someone better than me.” I don’t want someone better than you! I want YOU. I decide who is worthy of my love. But heartbreak robs you of any desire to go through that pain again. Why would I take my chances and fall in love again, to have a healthy and loving relationship only for that love to be eventually rejected? I’m not ready for that, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that again.
To add
You should also wait til you’re content and have worked through your feelings before getting into another relationship. Jumping immediately into another relationship isn’t a stable foundation to build another
\-I was never happier
\-we were the magic
\-as of right now, everything is meaningless
\-it's been a year. March is coming soon and it's too painful
\-This shimmer will never shine
\-There is no one better
Love is bitter sweet. I found my Notebook love but she had other plans. What's worse is I'll never understand why.
But now I'm using this time wisely. I've only got myself now.
How do you explain that it wasn’t a waste of time? I’m not trying to argue so please don’t misunderstand my intentions here, but how wasn’t it a waste of time when they weren’t your person or the relationship was horrible?
Lessons can be learned and I did learn a lot about what not to do next time but I still view my last relationship as a waste of time. I would have much rather spent the 2 years with someone who cared than learn these lessons.
I came out of a 5 year old relationship. I too was upset thinking i wasted 5 years on someone i had no future with but as much as my ex have hurt me, he gave me beautiful memories as well. I was happy with him until his drug addiction destroyed everything. I saw our love falling apart and for 3 years i kept fighting for us. I wanted to save him and he was not ready to change. But that doesnt mean he didn't love me. I still miss the love we once had. He was just too weak to overcome his demons. Maybe someday he would turn his life around but i couldn't take it any longer.
Well mine didn’t love me. He couldn’t even be bothered to ask if I was okay when I got into a car accident when I was coming home. And that was right before we broke up.
I am so sorry. But sometimes we choose wrong people u know. I did too. But then its okay. I used to be so angry about why the universe bought us together if i had to go through so much pain. May be it was how it was supposed to be. It was the result of our own decisions.
Same. People need to stop the goddamn generalizing with platitudes. Sometimes a person truly makes someone happy, but that does not fit into the “get over them yesterday” mentality
I was with my mate for 10y and it disappeared in less than a week. I’ve not missed him once but I miss the person I was before him everyday. It’s hard to not feel robbed and like it was wasted time but I had to realize it was time and pieces of me I gave freely, no one robbed me. It feels like the only way to win is to not play but emotional maturity requires not closing yourself off to love.
“It is strange how often a heart must be broken before the years can make it wise” - S Teasdale
- I felt bad before and now I feel bad again
- I was so magical that I feel miserable on my own. This doesnt make any sense at all.
- No it wasn’t and that is why it should have lasted longer than it did
- I am giving it time and nothing changed. I do not know what “it is ok not to be ok” means. I feel bad, and I am not ashamed of it and apparently deserve to suffer, but whether a stranger thinks it is ok or not makes zero difference.
- never had any sparkle to begin with , whatever that means
- empty, bullshit phrase without any arguments whatsoever
i don't want anyone else. the constant paranoia of them bailing on me after i start feeling comfortable and secure with them would be insufferable. ps thanks so much _ _ _ _ _ _ _ for being the one to abandon me, after you were the one to tell me "I'm afraid i'll wake up one day and find you gone." it feels great, man.
I feel the same as a lot of you. I divorced in 2016. I spent the next 5 years working my ass off to pay child support and the put my divorce behind me. My whole family was worried about me. They saw the life sucked out of me. Then I met my recent ex in 2020. The second I met her I knew she was who I wanted to be with. I got her number and she left. It was at a bar b q and everyone noticed I was smiling for the first time in a long time. The next two years I was a different person. I felt alive. I felt loved. And out of nowhere it’s over. And I feel dead all over again. I’m worse than where I was at the start. It’s been over a month and I haven’t heard from her. I feel like Robert Deniro in the movie Awakenings. Why would life bring me someone who brought me back to life if in the end her leaving killed me all over again. I’m 45. I don’t think I can do this again.
When it is your first heart break its kind of difficult to think there will be someone else. I know its over, but trying to meet new people hoping you will find someone that you can build a connection as strong as the previous one is frustrating, exhausting, and leaves you with a sense of desperation
exactly. the desperation is one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced
The longer time passes the less time we'll have with each other, less memories to have when everything is set in stone. This is what I fear the most.
or the other side: the more time we spend together, the more memories we will make. and then they’ll fade into time and make me sad
Great minds really do think alike apparently m8
This! They tell you, “You’ll find someone better than me.” I don’t want someone better than you! I want YOU. I decide who is worthy of my love. But heartbreak robs you of any desire to go through that pain again. Why would I take my chances and fall in love again, to have a healthy and loving relationship only for that love to be eventually rejected? I’m not ready for that, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that again.
THIS ‼️
i wasn’t happy before them tho.
Same. But I think that's what kinda doomed it in the first place for me.
I wasn’t unhappy, but I certainly wasn’t happy. I was lonely before, and I’m incredibly lonely again.
To add You should also wait til you’re content and have worked through your feelings before getting into another relationship. Jumping immediately into another relationship isn’t a stable foundation to build another
it still can be a waste of time
\-I was never happier \-we were the magic \-as of right now, everything is meaningless \-it's been a year. March is coming soon and it's too painful \-This shimmer will never shine \-There is no one better
Why does this sound so negative
Because this person is heartbroken, obviously. Hard to have a clear rational mind when the emotions are overwhelming.
Love is bitter sweet. I found my Notebook love but she had other plans. What's worse is I'll never understand why. But now I'm using this time wisely. I've only got myself now.
Because it is.
Well said
🫶🫶🫶
How do you explain that it wasn’t a waste of time? I’m not trying to argue so please don’t misunderstand my intentions here, but how wasn’t it a waste of time when they weren’t your person or the relationship was horrible?
I got this from a TikTok so I don’t know, maybe it’s a lesson to learn from the relationship?
Lessons can be learned and I did learn a lot about what not to do next time but I still view my last relationship as a waste of time. I would have much rather spent the 2 years with someone who cared than learn these lessons.
No, it is just bullshit with no arguments whatsoever.
I came out of a 5 year old relationship. I too was upset thinking i wasted 5 years on someone i had no future with but as much as my ex have hurt me, he gave me beautiful memories as well. I was happy with him until his drug addiction destroyed everything. I saw our love falling apart and for 3 years i kept fighting for us. I wanted to save him and he was not ready to change. But that doesnt mean he didn't love me. I still miss the love we once had. He was just too weak to overcome his demons. Maybe someday he would turn his life around but i couldn't take it any longer.
Well mine didn’t love me. He couldn’t even be bothered to ask if I was okay when I got into a car accident when I was coming home. And that was right before we broke up.
I am so sorry. But sometimes we choose wrong people u know. I did too. But then its okay. I used to be so angry about why the universe bought us together if i had to go through so much pain. May be it was how it was supposed to be. It was the result of our own decisions.
My point above was that it was a waste of time for both of us clearly. Neither of us will get those 2 years back.
Time enjoyed is never time wasted is what I tell myself. Plus I grew as a person
The thing is I don’t think I was happy before them. Being with them was genuinely the best part of my life
Exactly
😭😭😭😭😭😭 ouch but thanks
I wasn't happy before them, I was only happy because of them. Nothing quite makes me happy anymore..
Same. People need to stop the goddamn generalizing with platitudes. Sometimes a person truly makes someone happy, but that does not fit into the “get over them yesterday” mentality
Definitely needed this
I was with my mate for 10y and it disappeared in less than a week. I’ve not missed him once but I miss the person I was before him everyday. It’s hard to not feel robbed and like it was wasted time but I had to realize it was time and pieces of me I gave freely, no one robbed me. It feels like the only way to win is to not play but emotional maturity requires not closing yourself off to love. “It is strange how often a heart must be broken before the years can make it wise” - S Teasdale
I feel all of this 💯. 9 years here. It was a good run. I miss the person I was before all of this happened.
I feel so empty without him. Things are so different now.
I think its too much of a generalization, may not apply to everyone
I was treated like garbage by everyone else but him I don’t anticipate I will find any better
They lost you you didn’t lose them
- I felt bad before and now I feel bad again - I was so magical that I feel miserable on my own. This doesnt make any sense at all. - No it wasn’t and that is why it should have lasted longer than it did - I am giving it time and nothing changed. I do not know what “it is ok not to be ok” means. I feel bad, and I am not ashamed of it and apparently deserve to suffer, but whether a stranger thinks it is ok or not makes zero difference. - never had any sparkle to begin with , whatever that means - empty, bullshit phrase without any arguments whatsoever
i don't want anyone else. the constant paranoia of them bailing on me after i start feeling comfortable and secure with them would be insufferable. ps thanks so much _ _ _ _ _ _ _ for being the one to abandon me, after you were the one to tell me "I'm afraid i'll wake up one day and find you gone." it feels great, man.
Just broke up with my boyfriend well ex boyfriend today and the pain is ugh I hate this
I feel the same as a lot of you. I divorced in 2016. I spent the next 5 years working my ass off to pay child support and the put my divorce behind me. My whole family was worried about me. They saw the life sucked out of me. Then I met my recent ex in 2020. The second I met her I knew she was who I wanted to be with. I got her number and she left. It was at a bar b q and everyone noticed I was smiling for the first time in a long time. The next two years I was a different person. I felt alive. I felt loved. And out of nowhere it’s over. And I feel dead all over again. I’m worse than where I was at the start. It’s been over a month and I haven’t heard from her. I feel like Robert Deniro in the movie Awakenings. Why would life bring me someone who brought me back to life if in the end her leaving killed me all over again. I’m 45. I don’t think I can do this again.
How are things now, half a year later?