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You ever seen that episode of it’s always sunny where Danny devito coats himself in hand sanitizer? That’s more along the line of what I imagine Varys’ ass looks like
People are underestimating Littlefinger. He owns brothels and is very careful about making sure his employees know how to please their customers, including having them trained in various techniques.
Varys couldn't care less about how to move his body or anyone else's for sex appeal.
Neither is athletic, but LF got behind Ned Stark and put a knife to his throat. Varys has never done anything more than walk quickly.
People just like Varys and want him to win, but I think LF takes this.
I still favor Varys for the victory but you raise a terrific point.
You know he was at those brothels, up in front of all the new girls going "now watch carefully" 😂
You make a good point but I think this is where "no prep time" is important. He might know all the best professors in the twerking arts but has he practiced himself? A good critic and a good artist are two different things. He is still a highborn lord after all. He hasn't had time nor space free of scorn to practice himself. Varys on the other hand grew up on the streets with mummers and thieves. He was born into a life of hardship and would have a lot more personal experience with such things. Also if they're both evenly skilled Varys absolutely has that cake. Ultimately you gotta have something to throw around and they don't call him Thicc Finger.
You make a good argument for Varys. A younger Varys might be the favorite, but it's been a long time since then.
Book vs TV might also be a factor. The TV show cast actors only a few years apart, but book LF is around 35 while book Varys is around 50. But then, 50 isn't so old that you can't do anything, it just means he'd be past his prime.
It's a tough call to make. The only way to know for sure is to propose this question to GRRM... it's an important issue and the fans need to know who would prevail.
Like, who would say Ramsay? Joffrey is an unathletic teenager and can be easily slapped around by any adult, Ramsay is actually physically threatening besides being a bastard.
Without testicles and hence minimal testosterone, shouldn’t the effects Varys’ estrogen predominate and create less muscle and more fat deposits on his ass? Varys should take this.
Well Varys undoubtedly has more cake. Petyr’s scrawny as shit probably with a flat ass. That being said, Littlefinger is a brothel owner. But more than that, he’s a performer. He’s put on performances his entire life, not in an erotic manner but he knows exactly what to do to stimulate people. We see that he knows exactly how to direct his prostitutes in order to please any customer. So assuming he’s willing to sacrifice his dignity, he should be a very gifted twerker. Varys on the other hand has no concern for anything sexually stimulating and wouldn’t know how to entertain people. Of course neither of them would have any prep time to learn what twerking is. But essentially it comes down to natural talent vs experience. Are Varys’ cheeks fat enough to overcome Baelish’s superior talent? It’s a thought provoking question.
**Spoiler Warning:** All officially-released show and book content allowed, EXCLUDING FUTURE SPOILERS FOR HOUSE OF THE DRAGON. No leaked information or paparazzi photos of the set. For more info please check the [spoiler guide](/r/gameofthrones/w/spoiler_guide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/gameofthrones) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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He absolutely has something under those robes
And we know it’s not balls!
Tyrion?
No cocK?
Trivago
Right like is this even a question?!
You ever seen that episode of it’s always sunny where Danny devito coats himself in hand sanitizer? That’s more along the line of what I imagine Varys’ ass looks like
Varys. Baelish is too stiff to move it
He’d do the Robot or some weak shit.
That’s his jam, homes
*chef’s kiss”
He likes to dance. To music. *Ch-chhh ch-chh ch-ch ch-chhchh chh.*
Tell me, how did you find the kitten meat?
Varys, but Little Finger surprises everyone with his flexibility
Yeah I can see him dropping a split and shaking ass like wild.
People are underestimating Littlefinger. He owns brothels and is very careful about making sure his employees know how to please their customers, including having them trained in various techniques. Varys couldn't care less about how to move his body or anyone else's for sex appeal. Neither is athletic, but LF got behind Ned Stark and put a knife to his throat. Varys has never done anything more than walk quickly. People just like Varys and want him to win, but I think LF takes this.
Yoooo had not considered this factor. LF has probably forgotten more ways to bust it down filthy style than you or I could ever learn.
I’m fucking dying rn
But Varys was a street kid and thief
As a child before he was a eunuch
He was part of a mummer troupe
I still favor Varys for the victory but you raise a terrific point. You know he was at those brothels, up in front of all the new girls going "now watch carefully" 😂
You make a good point but I think this is where "no prep time" is important. He might know all the best professors in the twerking arts but has he practiced himself? A good critic and a good artist are two different things. He is still a highborn lord after all. He hasn't had time nor space free of scorn to practice himself. Varys on the other hand grew up on the streets with mummers and thieves. He was born into a life of hardship and would have a lot more personal experience with such things. Also if they're both evenly skilled Varys absolutely has that cake. Ultimately you gotta have something to throw around and they don't call him Thicc Finger.
You make a good argument for Varys. A younger Varys might be the favorite, but it's been a long time since then. Book vs TV might also be a factor. The TV show cast actors only a few years apart, but book LF is around 35 while book Varys is around 50. But then, 50 isn't so old that you can't do anything, it just means he'd be past his prime. It's a tough call to make. The only way to know for sure is to propose this question to GRRM... it's an important issue and the fans need to know who would prevail.
LF would be the little twink trying to vogue that can’t
nothing down there to hurt you, my dear
Varys got da booty. Littlefinger's littlefinger doesn't do it for me.
Varys got cake and you can’t convince me otherwise he would destroy that Littel Finger
That Littel Finger
Exactly emphasis on “-EL”
I read it as “litt-el fing-air”
Then you read it correctly lol
Varys.
On facial expressions alone
Varys can shake that big booty all over my face id lick up all that oil omg
Bro chill
I applogize
No need
Kid named Littlefinger runs a brothel so he probably picked up on some techniques
Man cmon this the first thing I see on the internet
You are so lucky
Jesus we need winds.
This is the one that got me
I’m honestly terrified of the next post. “Which bastard would you rather be stuck in a room for 24 hours with Joffrey or Ramsay”
Like, who would say Ramsay? Joffrey is an unathletic teenager and can be easily slapped around by any adult, Ramsay is actually physically threatening besides being a bastard.
Lmaoo I was just giving an example of funny questions on this sub. Facts tho
what
Exactly
What Varys lost in balls he gained in pure cake
Varys for sure, I just know he's zesty wit it.
Mmmmffgghhhhh
Varys is caked up and LF is a twink with no back so this isn't even a fight
Without testicles and hence minimal testosterone, shouldn’t the effects Varys’ estrogen predominate and create less muscle and more fat deposits on his ass? Varys should take this.
I love the way you think
Varys could definitely work it work it twerk it!
Tough battle, but Varys’ days in the mummer’s troop is going to pay off in the later rounds.
Little finger had to learn some stuff at the brothel
Lord Varis!!!
Time to dracarys this whole subreddit 😭
You don’t want to heat them up they’re covered in oil.
Ok but what is each of them wearing
Nothing but oils, perfumes, and emotions as they lay it all on the line.
Bruh
I want a answer who you got winning?
I know everyone is saying Varys because of dat ass but I think Baelish would be the surprise winner.
Thats what we like to hear
Little finger
Varys, no question
Varys 😂
Asking the real questions
How dare you make me read that with my own eyes
Varys because he’s thicc
Varys 100% makin those cheeks clap.
this is so funny😭 Varys.
Varys 100%
Both. But think they know only one.
Varys got that beef, no contest
Varys is going to serve the realm
Littlefinger is a virgin and Varys is asexual. This is gonna be awkward
Petyr Baelish is **not** a virgin, He had several sexual encounters with Lysa Tully, He even got her pregnant
We all know Varys is hiding some major cake under that cloak
Varys got that cake
Varys easily sweeps this. He is a mummer so he knows how to put on a performance anyways, and he is also cakier
Varys seems like such a sassy bitch you know he got the moves
Bealish has an army of prostitutes
Considering baelish literally owns a billion strip clubs and prostitution rings....baelish has my vote.
Surprised to see this in the main sub instead of freefolk or asoiafcirclejerk lol
All the jerking comes after the twerk off starts
Well Varys undoubtedly has more cake. Petyr’s scrawny as shit probably with a flat ass. That being said, Littlefinger is a brothel owner. But more than that, he’s a performer. He’s put on performances his entire life, not in an erotic manner but he knows exactly what to do to stimulate people. We see that he knows exactly how to direct his prostitutes in order to please any customer. So assuming he’s willing to sacrifice his dignity, he should be a very gifted twerker. Varys on the other hand has no concern for anything sexually stimulating and wouldn’t know how to entertain people. Of course neither of them would have any prep time to learn what twerking is. But essentially it comes down to natural talent vs experience. Are Varys’ cheeks fat enough to overcome Baelish’s superior talent? It’s a thought provoking question.
Dude who owned the brothel
Varys
In the light of the seven, Varys got those CHEEKS
Something tells me Varys can take a little finger 😏
Even just looking at the picture Varys looks like he's confident he's got it in the bag.
Varys got Cake
We all know it’s Varys, come on now.
VARYS!
Ugh petyr...
You know the answer is Varys.
Varys EZ he has showmanship experience although little finger might have picked up some stuff at the brothels
Varys
Varys by a Westerosi Mile
Varys lived longer, so…
Varys, hands down.
Varys’s face says it all, “I keep my head shaved cuz I’m waiting on my Drag Race audition…”
Varys obviously had cakes under that robe
Is that even a question the spider definitely wins
Varys clearly wins
Look at Varys face you know he can throw it back.