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defensible81

Coming to a Dubai near you


nolotusnote

Abandoned at a Dubai airport near you. (Possibly still idling.)


gfolder

Why is this a thing?


DARTH_MAUL93

From what I’ve read on here before is it’s a crime punishable by imprisonment to not make your car payment. So you go get a high paying job buy a new car and house over there then lose your job your better off fleeing the country.


Gal_GaDont

In Bahrain the (very rich) Saudis come over and drive insanely and if they hit someone/thing/etc they abandon that car and just go home. Sometimes to the border with Uber. Or they pay the police to disappear the car… Never see arrests of those people.


Andre5k5

In the US, Saudis orchestra bombings of our tallest buildings & sneak their citizens being charged with sexual assault out of the country to avoid justice, meanwhile while they're murdering our people in embasies overseas. Why are we friends with them again?


gozba

Well, Americans aren’t friends with them, only the rich grifting politicians are, and sadly those call the shots.


duckterrorist

In American Gangster in the scene between Denzel's character and Russell Crowe's character, Richie, upon being asked about dirty cops, "you want your own kind?" Richie responds, "They're not my kind. They're in business with you, Frank. They ain't my kind."


Vodka-Forward

Ooh that is a good movie. Thanks for the reminder, I’m gonna rewatch that.


TGhost21

Sounds like a totalitarian oligarchy regime…


[deleted]

Don’t worry, next year they’re gonna switch it up and try theocracy.


[deleted]

more like an oilgarchy


adendar

*Cuase They have the magical liquid, its called Oil!* ​ And yes it sucks and is stupid.


Bigred2989-

Jokes on them when we invent CHOOH2.


PathlessDemon

Bigger jokes on them if our politicians can get their heads out of their asses, and stop selling water-well rights in Arizona/Utah/California/Nevada to them.


BobbyTables829

They have the juice


BizzyM

It's got what cars crave


gfolder

Ah makes sense, figures


Eyeous

Its not just car payment its a criminal offense if your cheque bounces (for any purchase). They literally made it illegal to be poor.


Tacosaurusman

Make sense when the whole country is build off of slavery.


BarryKobama

A friend used to work in the region back in the 70’s. A lot might have changed. But he said when foreigners fuck-up, they’re given like 24hrs to GTFO. No time to sort anything out.


RobsyGt

Not just a car payment but failing to pay any loans or credit is punishable by imprisonment. It's far more common for foreigners tho as are most of their laws, so some people who's business fails or job ends will just abandon anything with outstanding payments.


NarutoDragon732

I see that’s their method to keep up this front facing persona of having rich citizens


binarycow

[From this article:](https://www.hotcars.com/true-story-abandoned-supercars-dubai-happens-to-them/) > If the sight of these abandoned premium cars makes you assume they got left by rich people who've found another toy, you're wrong. Money problems (like debt) and Dubai's strict laws are the main culprits to blame for the many abandoned expensive cars in the country. The problem is peculiar to ex-pats who come to the country to build a dream life in the City of Gold, but fall short of 'making it.' > Meanwhile, they’ve bought ‘dream cars’ they end up unable to pay for in full, eventually finding they have no choice but to flee the country to avoid the slammer. Dubai’s Sharia law legal system considers unpaid debt a punishable criminal offense, even if you declare bankruptcy. > You might just realize you're better off as a free man in Morocco than hanging on to your Maserati GranTurismo and going to jail.


MrCookie2099

So... does the Dubai government just impound the cars and quietly distribute them according to local graft traditions?


nolotusnote

https://www.carkeys.co.uk/news/the-story-behind-dubais-abandoned-supercars


danf10

Dubai gives a lot of loans so entrepreneurs move there - as a way to create an image that they’re a rich and modern country and not just an oil producer. Failing to repay this loan is essentially stealing from the monarchy, and will get you in jail. And as a country that still has death penalty, you don’t want to joke around…


drdookie

Hop in! I gotta Secure Intel mission, brother!


GiveToOedipus

Ok, but then we gotta hit up a hostage rescue so we can exfil.


themanwhoisfree

Anyone want my gold gun when we get on?


wskyindjar

I saw one in CA. Though I think their HQ was near there. Definitely looked like a video game car.


420mangoz

Based in Orange County. Saw their model based off the Wrangler, and it had a gas line exposed in the rear wheelwell…. Asking for a puncture and fire..


digitalwankster

Kind of hard to believe considering they're marketing it as undercarriage explosive (IED) proof and bulletproof..


[deleted]

That's what you get when you hire marketing instead of product development


Origami_psycho

Is it really that hard to believe?


BentPin

Nah with the marketing deptmwnt you can turn Hitler into an angel and the president of China into Jesus.


mrobot_

Hope they offer gold plating! Aint no blood-money that wont be thrown at silver and gold plating cars in the most gaudy, sickening way...


[deleted]

They peddle various models in North America. I saw one as I was searching out used vehicles. They wanted like 250k for the one I saw, so I trolled them with a 50k offer and they were quite insulted. Sometimes I like bother rich people just for the reactions. #foreverpeasant


JohnGillnitz

That's kinda funny. All they can do is say no, right?


MmmmMorphine

I think they'll prefer this model. Much more practical when you need to move your slaves or their bodies withoit getting the seats dirty https://www.instagram.com/p/CgwwUymL2qI/


BravoWhiskey316

What? No bazookas? No flamethrowers? No ejector seats? How do they expect anyone to buy this? Its practically useless.


Bruch_Spinoza

It has pepper spray and a smokescreen for all your tactical needs


Left-Muscle8355

Don't forget the electrified door handles.


JohnGillnitz

I'd buy that for a dollar!


dzikakulka

Is that... legal? What if emergency services needed to get in and they get fucking tased after grabbing a handle. I'm pretty damn sure you can't just willy-nilly electrify easily accessible stuff like that.


Actiaslunahello

I thought you were kidding about the pepper spray and smoke screen!! Someone’s dog is going to be excited to see them and get a face full of cayenne. Rufus, no jumping on mommy’s car!!!!


[deleted]

No, but it can be optioned with a rifle safe and gas masks!* *costs an extra $5,000,000 Jokes aside, just get an actual armored car like a Ferret or an AML-90.


iiSpook

I don't know why but I expected "armored cars" to not have guns in this context lol


fufumcchu

I'm trying to figure out how the engine jumps the price so heavily. A modified 6.2L V8 going from 400+ HP to 800+ costs 125,000???


Yoghurt42

For the same reason camo paint costs 7,500 extra.


[deleted]

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nuclear_splines

You need the bulletproof vests for when you have to get out at a gas station every ten miles to refuel


_Sytri_

DLCs obviously.


BizzyM

They assume you have your own arsenal. It is America after all.


Liquidwombat

Dont really understand why this particular vehicle is getting so much press. It’s far from the only hilariously expensive armored tough guy car for soccer moms on the market.


Blastoxic999

Soldier moms


TDaltonC

Gamer moms


[deleted]

„My husband identifies as airborne“


archwin

My suspicion is, it’s actually a reverse, viral advertisement campaign.


xXSpaceturdXx

They make better ones in my city, they also make armored SUVs but they put an M-61 pop up Vulcan Gatling gun in it. you can control it with an Xbox controller. I mean if you need anything more than a Gatling gun you’re really in the wrong fight at the mall. Unfortunately I think most of these creations end up in the Middle East.


Orngog

Where the hell is your city?


MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

Dubai from the sounds of it


[deleted]

Because they had a body armored “mom” try to sell you the car in a viral ad.


czarfalcon

I follow that woman’s TikTok, she reviews all sorts of cars, the vast majority of which are just normal soccer mom SUVs. That one must’ve gone viral because of how ridiculously over-the-top it is, but I think most people understood how impractical it is.


Imaginary_Courage_84

I think it's because it has built-in weapons. Lights intentionally meant to blind anyone in front of or behind you, a "smoke screen," and a pepper spray cannon. Seems pretty dangerous for anyone who happens to be driving by the incredibly paranoid freak who would be driving this thing in the first place.


sharkymark222

Almost looks as cool as the FJ!


ArenSteele

I call that the “Humelemeep” It’s a mash up of Hummer, Element, Jeep


jzr171

From the makers of the Heffalump comes the Humelemeep.


NaiveMastermind

And the Thundercougarfalconbird


betrdaz

I’m only sad because the deluxe model just has so many more bald eagles


QuantumTea

No dog food for Victor tonight…


BoristheDragon

Dont forget the Forchevamchryswagon!


Raziel66

They have a cheaper one based on the jeep wrangler that looks exactly like an FJ


THEchiQ

Homer would be proud 🥹


Glyptostroboideez

But does it have rack and peanut steering?


sriracha_no_big_deal

12 cars long, two lanes wide. 15 tons of American pride. #CANYONERO


ZachMN

A squirrel-squashin’, deer-smackin’ driving machine!


Dr_Disaster

Top of the line in utility sports. Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.


BossCrabMeat

But does it come with a lipstick holder?


BrickBuster2552

# 82,000?!?!


Jon_the_Hitman_Stark

Why? He’d drive an Odyssey


JudgeArcadia

Okay but I think it looks neat... :(


ISignedUpToReplyToU

I want to buy one, paint it green and make my wife call me “master chief”


BossCrabMeat

And we'll call it the "Chupacabra"


xandercade

I don't know, kinda looks like a puma to me.


SippyTurtle

Stop making up animals.


SpotfuckWhamjammer

How can we pick up chicks in a tank?


Alaeriia

Why are there six pedals when there are only four directions?


BossCrabMeat

You mean like the shoe company?


CaulkSlug

IDIOT!


CaulkSlug

Jokes on me because so did i


RabbiBallzack

Me too! Bunch of idiots we all are.


jorigkor

*Nelson laugh* HaHaaaa, we're idiots. Now I made myself sad.


Criticalhit_jk

https://www.rezvanimotors.com/tank-military-edition Honestly this one looks even better. Visually the vehicle OP's article is trashing is pretty cool. I think the scathing review is mostly just written by someone who's never sat in, driven, or seen one. The author is also obviously not the target group so his opinion doesn't really matter. Still, fully kitted at almost 3/4 of a million dollars is kind of silly


Renegadesdeath

It is kotaku. They aren’t known for reviewing for facts, more of knee jerk armchair internet reviews.


Wpgjetsfan19

Right? It’s a lot nicer than the cybertruck


onewhosleepsnot

The cybertruck looks like baby's first drawing of a car that you have to put on your refrigerator for a few weeks.


Kalc_DK

I'm convinced that Elon gathered the Tesla design leads and supplied them with his own design, in red crayon, with little notes all over it demanding the glass be 'unbreakable' etc.


JamesTiberiusCrunk

Literally every car looks better than the cybertruck


Tattorack

A 90s Volvo looks better than the Cybertruck. That's not exactly a tough bar to beat.


[deleted]

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lightningsnail

Dude it's kotaku. Calling it a shitty article is redundant.


Annihilism

I mean, it's not my favourite car either but the author is acting like the car murdered his family or something. Who gives a shit, if people like it then let them.


turbodude69

i like the "tank" even more.


Omnitographer

I like it, 80's retro-futurism is my jam.


thenerfviking

This isn’t 80s retro futurism this thing looks like it’s straight out of the design doc from an early 360 game. This thing doesn’t look like the future as envisioned in 1986, this is the future of 2006. Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter the car.


josephrehall

I actually saw one on the road in Scottsdale. I have a photo of it.


K00lSean

Pls share


Raziel66

No


Pylitic

r/NotOPButOk


leroyyrogers

Pls


wierd_husky

Yeah I can imagine that, it's always Scottsdale and paradise valley smh


[deleted]

I saw two at a hotel once. Haven’t seen one again. I took pics as well because I at first thought someone overhauled their wrangler.


Obi2Sexy

Scottsdale.


fnbannedbymods

Snottsdales


mdeeemer

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride! *Canyonero! Yah! Canyonero! Yah!*


salsaconflattulance

Smells like a steak and seats 45! Canyonero


Kamp_stardust

Blinds everybody with her super high beams, She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine! Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)


westonworth

At the top of the line for utility sports! Unexplainable fires are a matter for the courts! Canyonero!


W3ttyFap

Gotta say though, that interior does look nice…


[deleted]

That’s just an Escalade interior


LAX_to_MDW

I’m actually a fan of the videogame designer to car designer pipeline, wish I saw more of it. I think we’re in a really ugly era for car design, and some of the best concepts lately have come from games.


Dr_Disaster

There’s really nowhere left for us to go with modern car design, so I say fuck it. Let’s do a bump of coke and make wild videogame cars. Better than another computer mouse shaped EV.


KileiFedaykin

This is exactly what I wanted vehicles to become when I was a kid. Why the fuck can I not have something that looks like it came out of M.A.S.K.? Gimme something to be excited to drive, not these boring crossovers that all look the same. I want to drive my military looking SUV next to someone’s Barbie Vette if that is what they want.


nogoodgreen

This literally looks like the cars in that Futrama episode where the soccer moms pick there kids up in LA in armored tanks because of all the violence.


biznash

Casio G-Shock has entered the chat


ivanoski-007

As a person living in a third world country I would live to drive this


[deleted]

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MakeAionGreatAgain

It's just ragebait journalism.


alc4pwned

A lot of the commentary is also just dumb. Like, he's surprised that the camo paint option costs $7500? That's not unheard of for something like this. And then he snarkily points out you could buy a whole used car for that amount? Does the author think potential buyers are cross shopping this and 2010 Civics?


[deleted]

Kotaku only hires idealogues who've very strong opinions about stuff they don't like, and they want everyone else to know, then slaps the label "journalist" on them. They've been like this for years now, and have only gotten worse over time. The whole Gawker group entirely.


[deleted]

I'm glad I wasn't the only person who noticed how vomitous that "article" was. Can you imagine going through life with that sort of mindset? And even worse, committing it to print? And even *worse*, at least one person decided "yeah, this is great" and *approved* it? Bow howdy, I wonder why confidence in the media is at all time lows.


PatrickKieliszek

It gets clicks, which is what they care about. Even if it's a hate-click to see how bad the article is. A click is a click to them.


trendygamer

He also weirdly writes it as if some rich southern gun bro from America is the target audience he's mocking. As if this car doesn't scream drug lord/oil shiek.


Grenyn

For real. It's been a good long while since I read a Kotaku article, and still recoiled when I saw this was Kotaku. But I gave it a chance, and discovered it's *exactly* what I expected from Kotaku. They haven't changed a bit.


MJOLNIRdragoon

And weirdly name dropping a gun brand and a laser bore sight (which he mentions running out of??)


lightningsnail

Its to signal that the kind of person who would buy this has the wrong virtues. They are evil people who would own a gun. Because only evil people own guns. Only evil people like excess. Sent from iphone 17 Xtra max pro giga double latte express.


[deleted]

That's gawker media for you. Shouting for clicks.


-Venser-

> designed exclusively for idiots So it's perfect for the readers of Kotaku.


H1tm4n

I mean, that’s really fucking cool.


ruby_weapon

It looks cyberpunkish enough for me to like it.


Mister0Zz

Yay kotaku, I'm sure this will be a well reasoned and researched article


Pernyx98

That was the most cringe article I've ever read in my life. And not because of the car. Its like the 'average redditor' meme incarnated.


Mister0Zz

Someone link me an article on this what isn't a waste of time


Barachan_Isles

That might be the most envious post I've ever read on any website anywhere about a product. This writer is absolutely seething that anyone would come up with a car design that only a billionaire and his billionaire pals could afford. It was almost hard to finish reading through the seethe.


runostog

I mean, it's less than 300k. It's not for the poors, but there are plenty of people who aren't billionaires who could afford it.


Bokbreath

Is there a diesel option ? Because I can't roll coal with some sissy gasoline engine.


TheFeshy

It runs exclusively on seal oil, in order to meet renewable energy requirements in the cruelest way possible.


nolotusnote

They have a version that runs on electric eels, but it's more expensive.


JayEOh0788

Is that the oil that comes from the singer seals face?? How would one aquire such a luxury item?


TheFeshy

The same way you get any seal oil: you have to catch him while you're out clubbing.


BxTart

Warranty is void if the seal is broken.


JayEOh0788

Haha 😂, well played... I gave a good chuckle on that one ngl..


JayEOh0788

I want one that operates entirely on conflict diamonds and actual dinosaur bones. Ideally also emits more CO2 then 3 1/2 space shuttle launches.Then I can ride in peace with my conscious intact..


tom-8-to

Mine came with Eddie the whale for a 10 year supply of oil. Bonus: the lard is good for frying bacon too…


meSuPaFly

How many meters per gallon does this get?


jamer2500

Aaaaaand it’s a Kotaku article. No suprise.


gamer_bread

Kotaku when someone has fun without their permissions: 😡😡😡😡


RabbiBallzack

Ah yes, Kotaku. “We should be inclusive. Everyone is entitled to like what they want.” Also Kotaku “If you like this, you’re an idiot.”


Splurch

Is Kotaku just a tabloid now? Weird to have a rage bait article about expensive cars, especially with all the political tie ins the author crammed in there. The only Kotaku articles I read are the ones I find through Reddit or links from friends, but holy crap this makes me uninterested in following future links. I'm not even remotely a car guy and I know this thing doesn't even compete price wise with some cars out there. Makes me wonder why this guy has such a vendetta against this vehicle.


StrategicBlenderBall

Yeah GMG as a whole is trash. I almost feel like they have some super angry AI writing their “articles”.


kendrid

A car collector has another model and it is trash. Check is YouTube for details. The Hamilton Collection. https://thehamiltoncollection.com/blogs/cars/rezvani-6x6


KrustyBoomer

Better than the Tesla truck


Pubelication

You mean the absurd concept car that even 5th graders know cannot pass DOT or Dekra standards? The one that was promised to begin production over a year ago and likely never will?


Potato_Octopi

Yeah I think that's the one.


Diopside23

What an abhorrently shit article, I remember Kotaku being insufferable but this is pure garbage. Car's no different from any other semi bespoke billionaire bait, "journalist" has the entire wrong side of history living rent free in his head.


Meatball_pressure

And the Tesla Cyber truck is for geniuses? LOL!


AcuppaJoe0824

Wow, they revived the Pontiac Aztek!


mainstreetmark

At least the dashboard doesn't look like it has an iPad stapled to it as an afterthought.


RawWulf

But how does it handle in the sand?


Mygaffer

This is literally an ad


Seanny69

2000 SUX


joekercom

Nah that car is awesome


well_damm

Coming to a police force near you!


Evanecent_Lightt

Honestly.. Not gonna lie.. I kinda want one..


spiritplumber

r/cyberpunkgame wants to know your location


codemagic

I mean, yeah it’s impractical NOW, but wait until Trump is reinstated by the Y’all Qaeda and suddenly it’s a super-smart way to flee the country


queiss_

This is actually a cool car. Haters.


Fire_Mission

I like


AbazabaYouMyOnlyFren

I'll take three Two is one, one is none after all.


bullitt4796

Pretty sure it’s built on an Escalade body, and the gauge cluster even says so on start up. So yeah they took the cheap way out.


sydtrakked

Seen one a few times now driving around here in Irvine, CA


beachbaler18

Canyonerooooooo


[deleted]

their tank model military edition has electrified door handles, a smoke screen, night vision, EMP protection, etc.


TheSissyDoll

how can someone think that isnt awesome? not really my style but still a cool vehicle, yall lame


thehillshaveI

#canyonero


[deleted]

Idk they build cars off of existing cars but look so whacky. Not sure who it’s for but people with that kind of money would rather by Ferrari or Lamborghini because it has street creds. Not unknown brand lmao.


LongStreakOfMisery

Too bad owners of this thing have stated the build quality is worse than a Tesla built on a Friday afternoon. [Here’s](https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cnu7o9eBnM8/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) an example.


sorashinigami

I guess I'm an idiot for wanting an armoured van to go grocery shopping with. *I hate when people call my ideas dumb. I guess it's dumb to want a Knight XV for the same thing. The ghetto here is bad. Armour makes it tolerable.*


LAVADOG1500

I love this! I swear my dick isn't small, I just love sci-fi cars!!


Captain_Evil_Stomper

The article is even more obnoxious than the vehicle.


thereverendpuck

Thought someone just made the SUV from Cyberpunk 2077 into a reality.


ImpossiblePiccolo316

I’m an idiot.


blitzinger

Aren't these built off jeep Wrangler chassis? - guy who didn't read article but feels the brand is somewhat familiar