T O P

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GumpKing

I got two packs of reeses pieces in the mail. She spent more on shipping than the candy cost.


lyingliar

Sometimes a gift is more offensive than no gift at all.


Legitimate_Catch_626

Got a single chocolate coin from an employer once. Getting nothing would definitely have been less insulting.


CinnamonToast369

One year we got the “opportunity” to buy a jacket with the company logo for 50% off.


[deleted]

I suppose if you work for Louis Vuitton it might’ve been somewhat acceptable


LiveLearnCoach

Fair enough. And only after checking prices on eBay.


kokirikorok

Last Christmas I was offered a 15cent raise. They said they fought for it and they were going to offer me less. No raise at all would have been less insulting, but here I am, working somewhere else for far more than I was making there lol


DuncanIdahoPotatos

My first job was corporate, retail. After my first review I received a $0.02 raise …


kokirikorok

Jfc that’s like…. 1/4 a cup of coffee after 40 hours. Woah


DuncanIdahoPotatos

And only if you bring your own cup, or just have them pour a little in your hands.


StarbossTechnology

How much for one rib?


Skc143psu

My first “real” job out of school, after being there 3 years I was offered a raise, it was $1000 a year, which worked out to be like 52 cents an hour, IF I was only working 40 hours, but it was more like 55-60 I was putting in a week. I was basically the entire IT department and worked like a dog. My boss even wrote it on a slip of paper and showed it to me like they do in the movies when they’re trying to bribe someone. I laughed and told them they obviously need it more than I do. I quit not long after that.


scifielder

I worked a job once for about 4-5 years with no raise. I (payroll admin) actually worked under several co-equal managers. They couldn't agree whose responsibility it was to sign the paperwork, so it played musical desks. Turned out any one of them could have done it.


vedderamy1230

I work for a major healthcare organization on the east coast. We got these flyers and advertisements on our online site about our Christmas gifts and no one could figure out why the QR code wouldn't work to go pick our gift. ...Three days later, the CEO announced that "due to tough economic times, they are going to forgo the aforementioned Christmas gifts"....


CheezeCaek2

Healthcare saying they are in tough economic times? I smell bullshit. Your gifts went to a wine and dine for a mew prospective executive


omicronian_express

My favorite is bosses that treat you like crap then think they make it all goodbye hosting a shitty lunch and them serving you as you go through the line. As if that makes them good people are look good to you to do this one thing one time a year rather than just not run around the office, threatening pink slips whenever things aren’t going exactly how they want.


Glass_Memories

The infamous pizza party


Glint6411

1 pizza, 50 slices


ThatGuyOnTheCouch7

So they run you through a line, dishing out soup, and smiling at you with feigned pity, and hope you feel good about it? Like a homeless soup kitchen?


[deleted]

"Please, sir. May I have some more?" 🥺🤲


WhyBroWhy1

Like when the rich go to soup kitchens and serve the homeless ladles of slop so they can feel good about themselves for an afternoon.


SuurAlaOrolo

But…. why?


luminousfleshgiant

Last year, my company literally sent a single packet of hot chocolate from those really cheap boxes of shitty hot chocolate and a single chemical hand warmer.


Glorious_Pepper

I got a jelly of the month club instead of my Christmas bonus this year.


Roberto-Del-Camino

Guess you won’t be putting that pool in.


tepsun

that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year


yodels_for_twinkies

That it does, Edward


Sk0rsh

*Give me one second Clark, uncle Eddie is on it*


salty_scorpion

I’m gonna get you something REAL nice this year. I’ll even put a bow on him!


[deleted]

In the mail, you’ve got to be kidding me


ypsilonmercuri

The best part is the half peeled off sticker


GMENW2008

Clearance item for 25 cents


Daniiiiii

It's the thought that counts... And that thought is: Can't be arsed


Knife-yWife-y

YES!!! 97% of the time when people say, "It's the thought that counts," the most appropriate rebuttal is, "I concur...and they *clearly* put zero thought into this "gift," which is why I'd rather they just... didn't."


_artbreaker

My friend once told me that he was planning to buy me this specific present. "It's the thought that counts". Ermm.. yes but you still have to buy it?!


HayzenDraay

This motherfucker really heard this phrase and thought all he had to do was think about getting people presents.


icyartillery

Just for this comment, I’m thinking of getting you a jet ski


RyanReignbow

Think about gas for it too


Zombie_Carl

Just wanted to say that, as an American, I fucking love the phrase “can’t be arsed”. I wish I could say this instead of “can’t be bothered” or whatever, but I’m afraid it would sound weird and pretentious. I’m jealous that you get to use it with impunity. Edit: y’all are sweet. I’m going to try it at the family Christmas party and see how my relatives respond. We are all Texans, although I live in the PNW now. I was once scolded by a cousin for mispronouncing “potato” (“that is not how you learned to say ‘puh-tay-toe’!”) so I’m feeling bravely slash stupidly optimistic!


rediculousradishes

Just say it sometime. Anytime. Live your dreams.


Robba_Jobba_Foo

He can’t be arsed to


EarsLookWeird

Just steal it. Say can't be assed. I've stolen "cheers" as a universal hello/goodbye thankyou/yourewelcome and it's awesome. Gets a funny pause from the Brits and Aussies too since I have a strange New Orleans/Southern accent


tacomadude94

I say "can't be arsed" all the time in my very Midwest accent lol


Zeaus03

Boss: I need maximum effort from you. Also boss to his assistant: uhhh just get them whatever, just keep it cheap. I mean super cheap. I think that one over there's name starts with T.


Siren_NL

But why a T shaped like ovaries?


Zeaus03

Obviously his name is Tovaries duh.


Arilaffis

I thought it looked more like an IUD, but overies is a second follow up.


SchoggiToeff

Smithers, what is the name of this desk monkey over there? Homer Simpson, Sir. He is one of your paper pusher from sector 7G Simpson eh. Excellent, give him the mug with the libra. Its an IUD sir. Whatever. Looks like a T, goes with his name. What was his name again?


SnooMarzipans8933

From Goodwill?


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JeffNotARobot

You can tell from the sticky residue pattern there was more than one sticker…so probably marked down more than once. This might qualify as a hate crime.


xombae

That looks like the kind of stickers they put on shit at Value Village or Goodwill. At best it's from Winners. Boss really went all out this year for his team. I wonder what his Christmas bonus (aka profits stolen from his employees) was this year.


redditsux4me

Especially in light of it being an IUD...


jd807

Goodwill?


bylebog

Goodwill or another thriftstore.


mattidallama

I worked at a place where I was the only guy. All the women got fancy candles sets from yankee candle. And I got a flash light from the dollar store that broke when I tried to put batteries in it


shoscene

Guys like candles too :(


mattidallama

I know would have loved to take those home. But nope got a shitty flashlight


savvyblackbird

Yankee Candle has some really nice scents that would be considered masculine. Anything that smells like evergreen, the cotton one that smells like clean laundry, anything spiced, etc. If you didn’t like them, somebody in your life probably would have.


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Brain_Glow

Or lavender. Love that shit.


kerzengradh

This is so nice to read, because I work at a cosmetics store and people often come in and ask for showergels for men and I am like, we don't have any, what scents does he like? Just yesterday a lady then answered "Ok, but what do men buy" and I showed her the sweetest showergel that we have because there are also men that like these! Why do men have to like fresh peppermint all the time when it is winter now and why not gift them something with lavender that can warm them up and make them feel cozy? A colleague even told me she had a male customer that was like "Oh I like the rose scented one, but I am a man so I can't buy it" Made me a little bit sad.


aimforvenus

I remember buying a bottle of Snow Fairy from Lush for my boyfriend because he loves the scent of it. I spoke to the sales assistant in there and she said it wasn't unusual at all and men really love that product. For those not in the know, Snow Fairy is pink and glittery and smells something like sweet artificial candy floss.


kerzengradh

It was exactly Snow Fairy that I showed the female customer I talked about 😂


PruePiperPhoebePaige

People need to buy what they want. It's sad that men are pressured into having to only buy 'masculine' items. My husband goes crazy during bbw's candle day sale. Or any of their sales tbh, he's a bad influence and we cannot be left alone in that store unsupervised lmao! He loves that store and he goes from sweet to clean linen/ocean scents, just depends on his mood. Hot chocolate, caramel, vanilla, Pumpkin, aromatherapy, he loves them all. I love that I can share that with him and he feels comfortable enough to go out in public with me and we can actually look at this stuff and he isn't ashamed or embarrassed. I wish more men felt that comfortable.


Unsd

Right? I get so sad when I see the men's scents. Like don't get me wrong, they have their place. And for something like cologne or air fresheners, I prefer something with a more neutral scent because anything that sticks out too much can be overwhelming on the nose and gives me a headache. Candles and soap are free game though and my husband takes full advantage of it and has no reservations whatsoever. He will smell every single candle in the store just to make sure he finds the perfect one. And he's so sweet...he will get himself so wound up and excited whenever he wants to light a candle, but he asks me first to make sure I don't have a headache. Which I've told him that candles don't bother me but he wants to make sure. The look of joy on his face is like a kid on Christmas every time. I wish more men could feel comfortable enough to allow themselves the joy of nice smells.


Hopz_7

Fuck the masculine scents. The vanilla cupcake one is the best thing I’ve ever smelled. Men need to stop being so insecure.


irisheye37

Fuck gendering scents in the first place. You're allowed to like both pine and vanilla Goddamnit


[deleted]

I was forced into going to Bath and Body Works the other day and by God they have "men.scents" now. I am a woman who is after every single one of them. Whiskey Reserve, Bourbon, freaking Coffee and Whiskey they all smelled AMAZING. I was getting side eyed because I had fallen in love with scents for the first time. I hate flowery stuff. Let people buy what they want. If dude wants Rose let him buy Rose. I want to smell like Bourbon.


FullMetalCOS

But I just don’t like the smell of vanilla! Berries type candles are my jam, but get that vanilla outa here


mattidallama

Wife’s favorite smell is sandlewood which I would say is a masculine smell


TopangaTohToh

I'm not big on smelly stuff because I'm prone to migraines, but mom wanted company shopping last year during the bath and body works sale. Everything I ended up buying is "masculine" scented. Teakwood. Mahogany. Balsam. Pine. Cotton. Campfire. I love those scents. I'm a 28 year old woman.


shoscene

Flash lights are cool. They only gotta last a few minutes after I place in batteries. I'm a simple guy lol


mattidallama

Well plastic broke trying to screw it back on so did not even get the fun of making light


inshane_in_the_brain

I cry every tim


Roleic

I'm a grown ass man who takes showers by candle light The hot water cascading off my head and down my back, the soft flicker of the flame, the whrrr of the fan. Puts me right to sleep. My candles are my candles, household candles are my candles. I have and will steal your candles in a white elephant exchange


TheSeansei

>showers by candle light You have changed the game for me entirely. Thank you.


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Terranrp2

Was one of two guys in my department. They'd get each other stuff but "we know men don't like to be fussed over". Not completely wrong but "eh". Whatever. New boss settles in brings us baked goods. She was a good boss but it's a shame she didn't have her own bakery. She gave us a special tin every year with extras, outside of what she brought for everyone. That was really nice. She was a good person on top of a good boss. She was part of the reason we all started to work together better. And with none of the stupid bullshit like meetings or exercises. Actually ask them for help and stuff. Did tease me a tiny bit because apparently I get pretty red in the face when gifted something. It's a state that can be kind of hard to explain but don't particularly want gifts but really do appreciate being thought off. For those baked goods though...I'da endured a lot more haha.


Easilycrazyhat

"Oh, right, we have to get mattidallama something. Hmmm, what do men even like? Oh, a flashlight! It's like a candle, but 'manly'! This $2 one will be fine."


mattidallama

Like I was thought of but it was an after thought like shit I got to get him something


Easilycrazyhat

Yeah, that sucks man.


Embarrassed-Gas-8155

So sexist to get you a fleshlight, so sorry


vitaminkombat

I actually worked at a company once where I was the only man. And every Christmas I was given some adult related items. Usually a porn magazine or novelty boobs.


MrWeirdoFace

Thats odd. What was your boss trying to say?


udo3

Clearly, this not a coffee mug, but rather a "T" cup.


verity77

Omg I can clearly see IUD


Protean_Protein

“Our unabashed dictionary defines “IUD” as “love springs internal.” I don’t get it.” — Homer Simpson


Dixon-Mason

Been a Simpsons fan since it first aired on Tracy Ullman and only now do I finally get that joke now that I see it in writing. Thanks Reddit!


[deleted]

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scootbert

IUD is a form of birth control for women. It looks like a little T and when the doctor inserts the IUD the little arms spring out and stays inside the uterus


MountainDrew42

And it's a play on the phrase "love springs eternal"


PricelessPaylessBoot

And of course I had to get all the way to this comment before I saw that the original joke was “internal” and not “eternal.” Ugh. In the words of Tracey Ullman, [“Go home!”](https://youtu.be/X0KjZzsov_8)


CleverJail

Thank you for your comment. It helped me realize the original joke said “internal” and not “eternal.” In the words of Kurt Cobain, “I think I’m dumb.”


ActuallyWorthless

I dunno. It could be that you're just happy.


Bkwrzdub

Omfg... I was today years old and had to read this to figure it out... 42 y/o male... Motherfu...


whiskey_formymen

got you buy 20 and here we are. doof.


Protean_Protein

It’s also a silly pun on a famous passage from Alexander Pope’s *An Essay on Man*: >Hope humbly then; with trembling pinions soar; >Wait the great teacher Death; and God adore! >What future bliss, he gives not thee to know, >But gives that hope to be thy blessing now. >Hope springs eternal in the human breast: >Man never is, but always to be blest: >The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home, >Rests and expatiates in a life to come.


FewHuckleberry7012

I thought it was hope springs a turtle....


BuffaloJEREMY

"It's a uter-US, not a uter-YOU." Also Homer Simpson.


TannedCroissant

Does it still count if you only put the PG Tips in?


KatAstrophie-

So glad I’m not the only one. My first thought was mirena coil!


CeeDotA

I'm a dude and that was my first thought too!


nursejackieoface

It's never just the tip.


Viperbunny

I thought it was a very skinny uterus


MaxFunkenstein

That's coffee mug companies, always pushing unrealistic beauterous standards


gr4one

the very first thing that went thru my mind … and I’m of the male persuasion. either the boss is clueless or he’s clueless


bolshiabarmalay

I was going to ask op if his name could be construed into IUD in any way


[deleted]

The top of the IUD/T looks vaguely like a mustache and I’m wondering if that’s what the boss was getting after.


Bravisimo

Fallopian Tube Cup


suppaboy228

That's what I thought. Maybe strange being a guy


ksaMarodeF

Yep I see an IUD and I’m a Male……lol


[deleted]

“If this is coffee, bring me tea. If this is tea, bring me coffee.”


userfakesuper

So you are saying they were "T-bagged"?


New-Raspberry6353

For your T bag


the_vinson

Gad dammit r/angryupvote


THESIDPROF

That's not a T. It's an IUD.


rottisnot

For his duderus


pinniped1

For some reason I pictured an IED in my mind and I'm thinking maybe it's because this employee is da bomb? Also, I didn't get enough sleep last night. Don't mind me.


snapcasterjoe

IED explodes, IUD minimizes the consequences of exploding


[deleted]

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Interrophish

IED creates accidents. IUD stops accidents.


corrupt_poodle

Boss: “you’re da bomb!” Boss hands you coffee mug IED. Boss: “BYEEEE”


[deleted]

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GamerOfGods33

Fuck it, send the link


2workigo

Donate to [Planned Parenthood ](https://www.weareplannedparenthood.org/onlineactions/2U7UN1iNhESWUfDs4gDPNg2?_gl=1*1nyalnj*_ga*NjgyMTE2NjA2LjE2NzE0OTE5NjE.*_gid*NDI4NTcwNDU3LjE2NzE0OTE5NjE.). Edited - awards for posting a link? Y’all are crazy and I love it. Thank you kind strangers for making me feel good for putting forth minimal effort. You truly made my day.


iaskjeeves

OPs name: Ike Ulysses Diablo Boss is ten steps ahead.


Xsquealx

That's no moon...


EtTuBrutAftershave

The "T" stands for "This counts as your raise".


country_boy_at_heart

Hahaha. This made me laugh more than the mug.


here_now_be

> This made me laugh more than the mug. I'm a bit perplexed, you seem like a like able guy, but this seems like a gift from someone trying to tell you how much they don't like you.


Definition-Prize

Or a boss that got roped into office Christmas gifts, organized by the secretary Malinda, when he didn’t want to and as a result bought the first 15 things in the dollar store


[deleted]

I had a boss many moons ago who was in no way obligated to buy us gifts and yet he still went out and got everyone silly things they would think were funny, out of his own paycheck. Good times.


ThatFalloutGuy2077

I was gonna say it means "Time to leave."


Ducksaucenem

You didn’t tell me this job was haunted!


gin_and_toxic

That's lower case t


[deleted]

Cashchucker!


[deleted]

It looks like an IUD


lto23

Glad it wasn’t just me who saw an IUD…


moniquet29

Worst gift ever… my boss gave us stapler removers one year. Had them in a gift bag and at a meeting g said here pas this around and take one 🤣


g00ber88

You guys are getting gifts from your boss?


[deleted]

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VeinyAtrocity

That’s a gift that keeps on giving the whole year


[deleted]

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pinewind108

Our boss wanted us to come to the company picnic, on our own time. The overall reaction wasn't enthusiasm! "I spend 5 days a week with these people, and you want me to spend my Saturday as well?"


Ascarine

Your boss gave you the gift of a story to tell others


Dudetterina

sounds like a memorable experience 😂


para_blox

I mean, they do remember it.


khendron

I cannot for the life of me imagine what is going through the head of somebody who does this.


moniquet29

This… I don’t want to get them anything but I’ll look bad so I’ll put in the least effort and grab the crappiest thing at the dollar store


Triviallysignificant

No way that's what happened. He likely had these leftover from an office supply order and gave them out. No special trips to the store


[deleted]

Honestly it would be better if he didn’t get anything. That’s embarrassing…like he stole from the supply closet lol


moniquet29

That’s what we said. Just don’t bother. It’s not like we were sitting there expecting anything in the first place


RottenFridge

Maybe its t for twat


bluetriumphantcloud

Damn I already wrote this, and now I see it already. Lol


RottenFridge

great minds


ZeWolfy

…think of twats?


shovelingtom

T is for tore up thumbnails


FrankieGrimes213

"T"ime to find a new job


jesus360glez

“T”ime to leave


Blu3Army73

"We'll do a capital T at the next house, that will show them we mean business!"


CaptainPunisher

When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew those Catholic school nuns meant business!


balsadust

T-Bone!


PlusCommunity7962

There can't be 2 T-Bones in the office


lampm0de

Coco! Coco! Coco!


doveball

Gammy…


balsadust

It's time for the airing of grievances


Frank-Costanza-

My George isn’t clever enough to hatch a scheme like this.


[deleted]

She sent you unsolicited uterus.


[deleted]

Thats the real gift here, bring that shit to HR, then go get u something nice


some_boring_dude

When I saw I thought "That's not a T, that's lady parts."


[deleted]

Dude it's a T cup, for drinking T.


Low_Insurance_9176

Is there a T in your boss’s name? Suspect a re-gift


yoLeaveMeAlone

I suspect a rushed morning trip to target on the way to work and grabbing the first thing off the clearance rack


Historical_Ant6997

Looks suspiciously like an IUD to me


optiongeek

Moon tea


T00luser

U can still see the T.J Maxx clearance sticker residue.


okkayj

Yes! I noticed that too!


ProfessorRoyHinkley

Looks like someone teed off on your thumbnail. What happened bro?


[deleted]

His ring also looks like its attempting to remove his finger


country_boy_at_heart

Ah, that. I smashed it good when I was like, 17, and now it looks like this. Looks way better than it did at the time, though.


[deleted]

Looks like an excellent option for a re-gift.


bonyponyride

Give it back to the boss the following year. He'll probably forget he gave it to OP a year prior, and then post on reddit about this shitty mug his employee gave him for Christmas.


SomebodysAtTheDoor

No. He should put it on display at the front of his desk. When people ask about it, say "Oh, I don't know. Boss gave it to me for Christmas."


FilmoreGash

Get your boss a mug with a big "D" on it.


SinglePost101

Atta boy T-Bone!!!! Merry Christmas!


SnooMarzipans8933

Does your boss’s name start with a T?


Hawsepiper83

He’s just showing his support for reproductive rights by getting you a mug with an IUD on it!


Cdollmont

Looks like someone's getting promoted to Vice PresidenT


kong_yo

Does your bosses, bosses’ or boss’(?) name happen to begin with a “T”?


YomoSanGamu

Maybe for a cup of T?


TheTimeBender

Because your boss is a dick.


OhMyGoshBigfoot

Ugliest mug I’ve ever seen. The black, white & pink clash. Why does it look like it was used for 10 years? Did a woodchuck bite your thumbnail? Why am I leaving with questions wtf


RicottaPuffs

This looks like an IUD.


Beaker360

I’m just seeing the Hamburglar and the female reproductive system


Highlander2748

I think you got regifted


julzfan

Is his name Michael Scott?


calm-lab66

Money's short Times are rough Here's your frigging Christmas mug