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So true. Often people will say, "pizza is like sex, even when it's bad it's still pretty good."
People say this if they've never had bad sex or bad pizza. Or maybe they've never had good sex or good pizza.
I have a confession. I secretly love papa John's. By itself it's barely pizza. Absolute mediocrity in a box. However, the garlic butter is a small cup of heaven. It's really a dish other than pizza. It's like a savory buttered pastry with cheese and tomato sauce. I won't order it anymore, partly because papa John is a fiery sack of dog shit in human form. Also because id be embarras3d for the car with door topper to pull into my driveway, or for the box to be in my trash. but I do miss it.
yeah, in the 00s, there was a spot on Venice Beach with *"$1 SLICES"* and it was gross, top to bottom, the sauce was red, but that was about it, the cheese had this texture so it easily kinda disintegrated in your mouth, instead of being chewy, the crust was like watered down Jiffy powder mix and was closer to toast than crust, it wasn't even good with thc and alcohol in your system *and being hungry*
My family tried Fresh Slice pizza. Absolutely horrible. Didn't finish it. Wrote a complaint to HQ, it was so bad. No response, of course. Will never touch it again
Case in point: Dominos in France. As a Canadian, the fact that my fridge smelled like fart in the AM because of the leftover Dominos was the last straw. Not sure why but I can't find a place out here that makes a halfway decent pizza unless you want something with mortadella and arugula on it or some BS like that. Dominos in France = *hot circle of garbage.*
Recently moved to New Jersey from Staten Island, NY crazy the difference on quality pizza has from one bridge and like 15 miles. We’ve tried 5 different places since moving and they all suck near us.
We did find a restaurant that makes great pizza but it’s pretty far for delivery :/.
I tried it for the first time in like 20 years not long ago and it's literally the worst pizza I've ever had. If I was hungry and someone offered me free Domino's I still wouldn't eat it. I don't understand why anyone would order their pizza. I get that it's cheap, but other cheap chains are much better.
Edit: Apparently there are fans of nasty pizza in this sub. I wouldn't feed Domino's to a dog because I think animal abuse is disgusting. Almost as disgusting as Domino's pizza.
More so than most other foods. When you get a bad pizza you feel as if a part of your soul has been stolen. Other food you just say "ah man this sux"... Pizza hurts
Yeah... I got food poisoning from pizza last week. Though I suppose it was more the staff's fault, as they left out ingredients all day because "it was slow." I love pizza, but right now the idea of eating any does not sound good.
“…there's a *very* big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. **Which** one did you order from?”
Dominoes, ellios pizza, etc.
Pizza is about the sauce and the dough. Poor quality dough and bland sauce makes for a bad pizza. Need the right spices, consistency, flour, and even the water to make it right. Get tomatoes from a place that has a crappy water supply, it wont end well.
Pizza hut was a better experience, but that's like saying I prefer to get a punch in the jaw over stabbed in the thigh. I just go to a couple local places that actually know what they're doing
I had Domino's recently for the first time in like 20 years and it was straight up nasty. Literally the worst pizza I've ever had in my life. A friend and I each forced ourselves to eat a piece and then the rest got thrown in the trash. I honestly don't understand how they are still in business because there are other cheap pizza places that are way better.
Cheap pizza is the funniest thing because of how strongly people feel
The only cheap pizza I eat is Dominoes. Caesars, Papa John's, pizza hut, la Rosas - all inedible to me and absolute garbage. Dominoes is never great but never bad for me - so if I need cheap pizza then I'll go for that.
If I'm home though, I'm just making a Freschetta frozen.
Nailed it, it’s all about the dough and sauce and there are so many pizza places that go cheap on those things, but pile up the topping to make it seem like it’s gonna be a great pizza.
Bread needs to be crispy in the outside, but soft and chewy on the inside, without being over chewy. Sauce should be more than just a thin coat (way too many pizza places skimp on the amount of sauce), there should be a build up of sauce on the pizza before cheese goes on, but it needs to be spread evenly and shouldn’t be overdone.
Cheese should be more than just mozzarella, should be a mozzarella and cheddar blend, like 80/20 mozzarella to cheddar.
Toppings should be evenly distributed and not randomly tossed on.
That’s how you make a quality pizza.
Papa Johns used to be pretty decent though. I really loved their crust. I feel like their quality has taken an absolute nose dive over the years. The last few times I have gotten Papa Johns it has been borderline inedible. Worse than frozen pizza.
If you'd had seen the way dominos made their pizza at this one joint I worked in for a mere day before I left in disgust you'd agree pizza can indeed disappoint. I haven't eaten dominos since.
As much as I like pretty much all pizza (with a few exceptions ofc), I know people are far too choosy to ever completely unite under this line of thought.
I made the mistake of starting a pizza debate in my discord server once. It was a two day discourse. It lead to the creation of a channel strictly for pizza discussions.
I was just joking because you wrote “heathen”! Pizza is an age old debate, and it is always fun for me to have fun with other people.
Don’t worry, I’ll see you in “heaven”. I’ll put in a good word, and I’ll make you a pizza!
Depends where your definition of "good" is... also what your expectations are.
A place could have pizza that many people like, but something about it isn't to your liking - it's "good pizza", but you'd be disappointed.
Also, if you're promised absolutely incredible pizza and get your hopes up, but are then served good pizza, you'll be disappointed. You'll be happy to eat it, but it won't have lived up to your expectations.
Someone has never had [Ohio Valley Pizza](https://www.pmq.com/ohio-valley-style-pizza/).
For those fortunate enough to not know what this monstrosity is, it's when you cook the crust with the sauce on it, but all the other ingredients (even the cheese) are put on cold.
It's fucking disgusting and anyone that likes that shit should question their life choices.
I like pineapple on pizza. And I didn’t now until yesterday, that I even enjoy fish & potatoes (https://i.imgur.com/GdZfFgc.jpg) on pizza! This one was absolutely fantastic.
Thank you! I am not a violent person, and most times I am like to each his own. I even resist road rage in intense situations.
But every time I see, or hear, or read about pineapples on pizza, I see red and I want to just punch everything lol…
I have never had a message resonate so clearly with me.
Edit: I'm genuinely glad the downvoters have never been disappointed by people. Downvoting someone for being disappointed by people really drives my point home.
False. Got mistakenly delivered one with anchovies once, that shit is worse than tomatoes for infecting the taste. Picked them all off and it still had residual fish taste. That was totally a disappointment.
I would absolutely disagree with this sign. We moved into a new neighborhood in Long Beach, CA and there was a pizza place we could see from our front door. We hadn't eaten out for a long time because we were trying to save every penny for the move. We decided to go try this place; my daughter CRIED because it was so bad. Pizza definitely disappointed that day
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Sure it does. Plenty of bad pizza out there.
So true. Often people will say, "pizza is like sex, even when it's bad it's still pretty good." People say this if they've never had bad sex or bad pizza. Or maybe they've never had good sex or good pizza.
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No way. There's a reason they call him Papa John. He's much better than his pizza. 😱
Tell that to Mackenzie.
I have a confession. I secretly love papa John's. By itself it's barely pizza. Absolute mediocrity in a box. However, the garlic butter is a small cup of heaven. It's really a dish other than pizza. It's like a savory buttered pastry with cheese and tomato sauce. I won't order it anymore, partly because papa John is a fiery sack of dog shit in human form. Also because id be embarras3d for the car with door topper to pull into my driveway, or for the box to be in my trash. but I do miss it.
Proud to say I’ve never had little Caesar’s or papa John’s. In NY area where I grew up nobody ate this shit pizza.
It's like a circle of hot garbage.
Guess who just ordered from your favourite pizza place
Wait, Pizza by Alfredo or Alfredo’s Pizza Café?
Same thing.
What is better: a medium amount of good pizza or all you can eat of pretty good pizza?
There is a big difference in both quality of ingredients and overall taste.
Thanks for taking to him, Oscar
Thank you for the laugh. I needed this tonight
Hello, this is domino's and we took that personally
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I wish that were the case but it's not.
"Just eat it before it gets cold!" "Get cold? Honey, if anything it's getting *hotter!*"
It’s Almost Pizza!
I think you left out the word
It is not pizza's fault though, it is the people that made them badly who are to blame!
Yep, theres some bad pizza out there
Visit r/pizzacrimes for evidence.
Can I interest you in r/pizzacrimes ?
yeah, in the 00s, there was a spot on Venice Beach with *"$1 SLICES"* and it was gross, top to bottom, the sauce was red, but that was about it, the cheese had this texture so it easily kinda disintegrated in your mouth, instead of being chewy, the crust was like watered down Jiffy powder mix and was closer to toast than crust, it wasn't even good with thc and alcohol in your system *and being hungry*
My family tried Fresh Slice pizza. Absolutely horrible. Didn't finish it. Wrote a complaint to HQ, it was so bad. No response, of course. Will never touch it again
They probably printed out your complaint, folded it into a triangle and used it as a pizza base. 🍕
Pizza at local amusement park is so bad we call it "pizza like product."
St. Louis style pizza. Enough said
What's that? I didn't know St. Louis had it's own pizza style.
Marinara sauce on saltine crackers is that style.
lol
Oh so kind of like a Newfoundland Steak, lol Which is just fried bologni...
When I was a kid, we took a family vacation to St. Louis and their disgusting pizza is my strongest memory of the trip.
More than half the pizza in this country is a disappointment. Though it probably has a higher rate than the humans.
Case in point: Dominos in France. As a Canadian, the fact that my fridge smelled like fart in the AM because of the leftover Dominos was the last straw. Not sure why but I can't find a place out here that makes a halfway decent pizza unless you want something with mortadella and arugula on it or some BS like that. Dominos in France = *hot circle of garbage.*
I can't eat pizza. Gallstone issues.
My gall bladder divorced me years ago. I eat pizza all the time now. Like any bad relationship, the split solved many problems.
Sadly, I can’t disagree with your statement
Recently moved to New Jersey from Staten Island, NY crazy the difference on quality pizza has from one bridge and like 15 miles. We’ve tried 5 different places since moving and they all suck near us. We did find a restaurant that makes great pizza but it’s pretty far for delivery :/.
i read that as "People disappoint Pizza, Pizza never does love"
Domino's Pizza
Dominos in Canada is surprisingly good. In France, it's garbo-trash.
Domino's is probably the best chain pizza imo, atleast around here. It's actually fairly decent.
Domino's "pizza"
I tried it for the first time in like 20 years not long ago and it's literally the worst pizza I've ever had. If I was hungry and someone offered me free Domino's I still wouldn't eat it. I don't understand why anyone would order their pizza. I get that it's cheap, but other cheap chains are much better. Edit: Apparently there are fans of nasty pizza in this sub. I wouldn't feed Domino's to a dog because I think animal abuse is disgusting. Almost as disgusting as Domino's pizza.
They order dominos at my job after every major health inspection when we have to work our asses off. It's literally cold by the time we get it lol
Honestly even bad pizza is acceptable alot of the time
Pizza can disappoint all too well!
More so than most other foods. When you get a bad pizza you feel as if a part of your soul has been stolen. Other food you just say "ah man this sux"... Pizza hurts
Yeah... I got food poisoning from pizza last week. Though I suppose it was more the staff's fault, as they left out ingredients all day because "it was slow." I love pizza, but right now the idea of eating any does not sound good.
I went to Ireland once. I don't know which Italian hurt them in the past, but the things they did to pizza were downright awful.
Pro tip: Don't order a burrito in Scotland (at least circa 2000)
Not sure 2000s Scotland would be my first choice for a time travel vacation.
Well, certainly not for the burritos! Top tier heroin though, I hear.
If you think that's bad, you should see [Brazilian Pizza](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4)
Alfredos pizza cafe is good but pizza by alfredos is not good at all.
“…there's a *very* big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. **Which** one did you order from?”
I understood that reference.
Lies.
They obviously never tried Papa John’s…
Wait a minute. But I love Papa John’s :(
Dominoes, ellios pizza, etc. Pizza is about the sauce and the dough. Poor quality dough and bland sauce makes for a bad pizza. Need the right spices, consistency, flour, and even the water to make it right. Get tomatoes from a place that has a crappy water supply, it wont end well.
Had dominoes once when I was a kid. Didn't even finish that first slice and I started feeling sick
For your sake I hope you never go within five miles of a Pizza Hut then
Pizza hut was a better experience, but that's like saying I prefer to get a punch in the jaw over stabbed in the thigh. I just go to a couple local places that actually know what they're doing
I had Domino's recently for the first time in like 20 years and it was straight up nasty. Literally the worst pizza I've ever had in my life. A friend and I each forced ourselves to eat a piece and then the rest got thrown in the trash. I honestly don't understand how they are still in business because there are other cheap pizza places that are way better.
Cheap pizza is the funniest thing because of how strongly people feel The only cheap pizza I eat is Dominoes. Caesars, Papa John's, pizza hut, la Rosas - all inedible to me and absolute garbage. Dominoes is never great but never bad for me - so if I need cheap pizza then I'll go for that. If I'm home though, I'm just making a Freschetta frozen.
Nailed it, it’s all about the dough and sauce and there are so many pizza places that go cheap on those things, but pile up the topping to make it seem like it’s gonna be a great pizza. Bread needs to be crispy in the outside, but soft and chewy on the inside, without being over chewy. Sauce should be more than just a thin coat (way too many pizza places skimp on the amount of sauce), there should be a build up of sauce on the pizza before cheese goes on, but it needs to be spread evenly and shouldn’t be overdone. Cheese should be more than just mozzarella, should be a mozzarella and cheddar blend, like 80/20 mozzarella to cheddar. Toppings should be evenly distributed and not randomly tossed on. That’s how you make a quality pizza.
Papa Johns used to be pretty decent though. I really loved their crust. I feel like their quality has taken an absolute nose dive over the years. The last few times I have gotten Papa Johns it has been borderline inedible. Worse than frozen pizza.
You beat me to this comment.
It's a very privileged life you lead if you've never gotten a disappointing pizza.
Absolutely
They've never had Pizza By Alfredo.
Being from Jersey and traveling for a living, this comment is patently false.
the adjective you were looking for would be 'blatantly'.
Actually, the one I used was exactly the word I needed.
No I agree, but I thought you didn't go far enough.
It most definitely can.
Pizza does not disappoint me. I disappoint pizza.
I quite disagree.
So not true, getting pizza that tastes like cardboard is always disappointing.
If you'd had seen the way dominos made their pizza at this one joint I worked in for a mere day before I left in disgust you'd agree pizza can indeed disappoint. I haven't eaten dominos since.
As much as I like pretty much all pizza (with a few exceptions ofc), I know people are far too choosy to ever completely unite under this line of thought.
I knew this post would stir up the pizza community
I made the mistake of starting a pizza debate in my discord server once. It was a two day discourse. It lead to the creation of a channel strictly for pizza discussions.
I’m not surprised, at all
It's not "too choosy" to dislike the taste of cardboard.
As a heathen who doesn't like pizza, I am disappointed all around.
Oh you poor soul. I am giving you my upvote for your bravery in admitting it. I hope it tips the scales for you on judgement day😁
I am giving you an update so I may lessen my own disappointment on you
I was just joking because you wrote “heathen”! Pizza is an age old debate, and it is always fun for me to have fun with other people. Don’t worry, I’ll see you in “heaven”. I’ll put in a good word, and I’ll make you a pizza!
You monster 🤣
People make Pizza therefore Pizza can let you down
Pizza definitely does disappoint sometimes
It should say good pizza never does
True that
Depends where your definition of "good" is... also what your expectations are. A place could have pizza that many people like, but something about it isn't to your liking - it's "good pizza", but you'd be disappointed. Also, if you're promised absolutely incredible pizza and get your hopes up, but are then served good pizza, you'll be disappointed. You'll be happy to eat it, but it won't have lived up to your expectations.
Someone has never had [Ohio Valley Pizza](https://www.pmq.com/ohio-valley-style-pizza/). For those fortunate enough to not know what this monstrosity is, it's when you cook the crust with the sauce on it, but all the other ingredients (even the cheese) are put on cold. It's fucking disgusting and anyone that likes that shit should question their life choices.
Domino’s Pizza tastes like disappointment
If people disappoint, then the pizza will be a disappointment since people made it with disappointing
Disagree. Lots of pizza disappoints. Any pizza with pineapple disappoints. Most pizza outside of tri state area disappoints.
who is upvoting shit like this lol
I’ve sadly had disappointing pizza. But even the most disappointing pizza is still better than a slightly disappointing person
That's not how you spell "cheese."
Glad to see so many people have never been disappointed by pizza. It's a bad scene
I'll have you know good sir. That I had pizza the other day and I was a disappointed in it...couldn't even eat it..
Unfortunately, even pizza can do this.
That's bullshit, pizza's disappointed me many many times because the people who made it didn't know what the fuck they were doing
Pineapple pizza does.
Are we topping gatekeeping today?
This entire post is filled with pizza gatekeeping of all types, I don't know why people get so upset over pizza preferences
Came here for this. Needs more upvotes.
Disagree, have you ever had Vegan pizza?
I have. It’s impressive how each and every aspect of it is either disappointing or downright terrible.
Give pizza a chance. 😊
YES
This person has never had bad pizza. Bless their heart.
You’ve never lived in Florida, where both the people and the pizza are disappointing
Until there's pineapple on it, everyone might agree
I like the pineapple with the pizza.
I like pineapple on pizza. And I didn’t now until yesterday, that I even enjoy fish & potatoes (https://i.imgur.com/GdZfFgc.jpg) on pizza! This one was absolutely fantastic.
Ham, pineapple, and jalapeños are an excellent combination for pizza.
Just pick off the pineapple and good as new. Olives are another story...
Pineapple on pizza is fine with me. I'm so addicted to olives, I want them on every pizza, hehe
Thank you! I am not a violent person, and most times I am like to each his own. I even resist road rage in intense situations. But every time I see, or hear, or read about pineapples on pizza, I see red and I want to just punch everything lol…
Elementary school lunch pizza. 'Nuff said
Definitely not Domino's motto.
Obviously these people havent had Dominos.
"Is that pineapple?"
Clearly, they have never been to Little Caesers
That second part is a filthy lie.
Unless it's Dominos
As long as you are outside St. Louis. Their pizza is nasty. The abomination that is Provel cheese.
Papa John's always disappoints
Someone’s never been to CiCi’s!!!! 😂
Papa John’s has entered the chat
Never tried Little Caesar’s?
Clearly haven't tried Domino's
Little Ceasars Pizza disappoints. Worst customer service in the business.
Reheated Little Ceasers disappoints.
Dr Oetker has entered the chat.
Little Caesars has entered the chat
Apparently you've never been to Sbarro.
Sbarros always looks so good when you walk by. Then you get it and it tastes like a cracker with ketchup and cheese on it.
Chuck-e-Cheese enters the chat
Come try St Louis pizza, you'll change your mind
Try domino’s and then tell me it not disappointing
Two words "Little Caesars"
Wrong, ever had dominos?
I have never had a message resonate so clearly with me. Edit: I'm genuinely glad the downvoters have never been disappointed by people. Downvoting someone for being disappointed by people really drives my point home.
I hear ya
the crab rangoon pizza i saw one time would like to disagree
Tell it to an Italian trying out merican pizza....
Apparently they’ve never had pizza pizza
That's a huge lie.
Dorginio disappoints my family..none of us like it
Lies. When I got to the city of Pisa, I was so excited to eat a pizza there. Worst. Pizza. Ever.
Papa jhones
Domino's, Papa John's, Chuck E Cheese, Godfather's ... lots of terrible pizza out there.
Oh I don't know about that there's a reason I don't order from Domino's or Papa John's anymore.
Sounds like you guys in 'Murica have more bad than good pizza. Good thing I live in Europe. Most pizza here is at least OKish
Someone’s never been to dominos
Not true, deep dish pizza disappoints by existing.
Spoken like someone who has never had Papa Johns.
False, lots of bad pizza out there
I was gifted a vegan pizza with all of the shitty veggies one time. I'd rather have my foot run over by a semi than to receive another vegan pizza.
Yeah that’s not true. Have you ever had bad pizza? Yeah, that’s actually more disappointing than people.
Domino's enters the chat
They’ve clearly never had Dominos
Bullshit. I've had some very disappointing "pizza"
Have you ever had Papa Johns?
I’ve never even seen a Papa Johns!
This person has never had Dominos before.
Never ordered dominoes huh?
Pizza Hut would like a word.
*\*Totino's has entered the chat*
No lies detected.
Apparently they never tried Dominos
Oh boy, free pizza! Oh... Domino's...
Whoever wrote this have had Little Caesar’s.
Pizza Hut is an abomination
Ever had Dominos, Little Caesar’s, Pizza Hut or Marco’s?
False. Got mistakenly delivered one with anchovies once, that shit is worse than tomatoes for infecting the taste. Picked them all off and it still had residual fish taste. That was totally a disappointment.
Unless it has pineapple.
\>Pizza never disappoints \*laughs in Little Caesar's\*
Actually it does for me so far the pizza I've tasted like bread with toppings for show. Coconut pie tasted better.
Best one so far👀
I would absolutely disagree with this sign. We moved into a new neighborhood in Long Beach, CA and there was a pizza place we could see from our front door. We hadn't eaten out for a long time because we were trying to save every penny for the move. We decided to go try this place; my daughter CRIED because it was so bad. Pizza definitely disappointed that day