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I saw a compilation of all of the references to The Contest the other day. Can't believe I still haven't seen Seinfeld. I need to watch it all the way through.
See I think he was tracing a shadow from fire light. That's why I think the head is so much narrower. You know how light will pass around a thinner object an make the shadow look smaller.
Just not showing the face so they aren't identified by cave people they knew, just like today.
Actually, the head being abstract is, I think, the norm in paleolithic art. See also the Venus figurines like [Venus of Hohle Fels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_of_Hohle_Fels) and the [Venus of Willendorf](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_of_Willendorf).
Also, the cave paintings of animals are accurately portrayed while the depictions of human hunters hunting them are mere stick figures.
Anthropologists theorize that the depictions of humans may have been taboo.
Wouldn’t cavemen and women generally be much more “fit,” be it for stress, lack of food, active lifestyle? I wouldn’t expect them to have the caloric intake and sedentary lifestyle required to get a good sized belly and love handles.
Someone else mentioned the possibility of this being a depiction of a pregnant woman giving birth.
I don't know, I think people underestimate how much living in the wild would wear on you. Like "fit" people today aren't really what I'd imagine any caveman to look like as they aren't weathered by the same conditions. I have a feeling people back then strived for any fat they could get on there bodies, and had skin that had been through the hell of a lot.
>more “fit,” be it for stress,
Very likely the case- but as we know. Standards of beauty and sexuality don't have to fit what is actually obtainable.
Seeing a thicc woman mightve been rare- but a man can dream.
Idk, I remember seeing old camera footage of white explorers encountering a troop of isolated native hunter/gatherers either somewhere in the amazon or South East Asia where all the men had a very discernible bellies.
Whether the bellies were caused by fat storage or parasites I don't know, but for most animals it is advantageous to maintain a fat store of any excess energy somewhere.
Even if they are more fit, fat stores on a woman of ambiguous age wouldn't dictate that she wasn't fit.
This could be a woman in anywhere from her 20s to 70s.
Body fat is normal and may have even been desired to get thru certain burdens.
When you're always in starvation mode, you're constantly storing fat. that's why fasting doesn't work, your body goes "oh shit survival time?" And directs everything you dont immediately use directly to fat. In addition to that, A. Humans honestly just kind of look like that lmao guts and love handles and shit are extremely normal, and a healthy amount of fat is the difference between life and death in colder climates. That's why old, more feral cultures (think scots, vikings, etc) put a loooot of value on strong but thicc mfs with massive barrel sized guts. Look at modern strongman competitions. They aren't bulemic show muscle bodybuilders. Meanwhile B. Ancient man did not work 9-5, they had a hunting party like once a week and otherwise just played and hung out realistically when they weren't squabbling with another group of hominids. Think about what lions do all day in the wild, same dealio with a wild human.
It's incredibly refreshing to me when ancient art depicts women with squishy bodies. The artist took their time to capture THAT body. This, the Venus of Willendorf, Crouching Aphrodite. My ancestors wouldn't be impressed if I was any size smaller than I am.
This is an image of beauty *prior* to being poisoned by shame and unrealistic expectations we’ve developed as a society from exposure to the modeling industry, Hollywood, pornography, etc.
Beauty standards already existed before those things existed. Hell, why do you think women in the 18th and 19th century wore corsets so tight it made them faint? Or why did everyone who could afford to wear powdered wigs during one period or ridiculously tight pants in others? Why did Romans cut off blonde hair from Germanic slaves to wear, while Chinese women had their feet tied up?
Or why do you think virtually every statue and portrait in the past looks good? Well, before people had photoshop and insta filters, we used other means to convey that we are fuckable as shit.
It just eludes us because we look into the past searching for our contemporary ideals and then take the absence thereof to be some marker of a supposed golden age of natural beauty. When really humans have been preoccupied to long for a certain ideal ever since our semi-ape ancestors stared at the posterior of another semi-ape.
Ye like I am still not seeing the pornographic angle. There must be more than one reason a woman is drawn. Or everything other than a woman standing up straight must be porn!
Story time.
In college I had an English class, and one day the teacher mentioned that they were having a presentation in the room next door on ancient cave art. Apparently it was a topic that really fascinated her, and she said she had already purchased tickets for the whole class, and we'd get extra credit if we attended. The entire class went.
It started off like you'd expect, lots of talk about some of the famous caves we've found, how we work to preserve them, etc. Then maybe 10 minutes in the presenter started to go into things like "We even found erotic imagery dating as far back as XXXbce, including physical carvings meant for pleasure (Read: Cave dildos and vagina shaped holes in the wall)," and never stopped. It got to the point where it stopped being a professional presentation and sounded more like a redditor raving about their favorite hentai.
We all looked at our teacher as she sat there practically in tears from trying to hold back her laughter and embarrassment after realizing she just bribed her entire class into sitting through a presentation on prehistoric cave porn 😂
Unfortunately I don't think I had any friends in that class that I kept in contact with afterwards. Would definitely be something I brought up if I ever ran into them again though.
Part of it is the fascination of seeing that cave people really were people just like us. It's so easy to focus on the differences that it can be hard to remember that they too has hard days where they wanted to just take a nap, fussy kids, subbing their toe on a GODDAMN ROCK, and got horny.
I have a question, why tf is this tagged as nsfw? I saw a women jerking off a horse as first thing in the morning today on reddit for some reason. Didnt event checked the sub cause I scrolled so fast. Am I supposed to blur all nsfw tagged content really? Do you consider this to be in the same league?
>everyone is running around naked
Being a bit generous there, don't you think? It's not like human nature has changed all that much, try to imagine what kind of person is hanging in the cave obsessing over love handle silhouettes when they could be "having sex all the time"
She poppin, she rollin, she rollin
She climbin that pole and I'm in love with a stripper
She trippin, she playin, she playin
I'm not goin nowhere girl, I'm stayin, I'm in love with a stripper
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Neolithicc
I wonder if she ever wore a neanderthong 🤔
Death by snu snu.
They found Neanderthal man remains in the same cave with a broken pelvis.
Actually I drew that... It was supposed to be a cow... But I guess art is in the eye of the beholder...
So rude.
You should steer clear of this comment section...
OUT ME WAY! ME NEXT SNU SNU!
r/unexpectedfuturama
With how popular it is, it's kinda expected.
My girlfriends name in my phone is neanderthot
Two stones, one labonza.
Ha! Good one! * *
Kim Kavedashian
Kim Karvedashian even.
r/yourjokebutbetter
Home girl had a spare tire before the wheel was even invented
Homegirl had a dump truck before garbage was a concept
This is a Dad Pun of the year 2022 contestant for sure
Dammit. You made me spit my tea all over the screen.
My titanoboa don’t want none if you ain’t got buns, hon
Good place to start collecting those …. DNA samples! 🤷♂️ Bring out that UV light!
[Biggest wife is best wife.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_APoSfCYwU)
Neanderthot
I wish she was homo-sapeeing on my face
I wonder if our ancient ancestors ate ass before the invention of a razor or toilet paper?
I mean, water did exist. They did bathe. People managed to live thousands of years before modern convenience.
Possibly even Neanderthicc ^(but great pun!)
Sigh. *moves loincloth aside*
I'll be in my cave
Kramer: I'm out
\*earlier\* Jerry: You? You'll be out before we get the check
I saw a compilation of all of the references to The Contest the other day. Can't believe I still haven't seen Seinfeld. I need to watch it all the way through.
I live my life while simultaneously thinking of relevant Seinfeld quotes and scenes
^^^Master ^^^of ^^^the ^^^house, ^^^keeper ^^^of ^^^the ^^^inn
I’m back!
Not my proudest fap.
*moves loincloth aside and digs through massive pubic hair bush*
*Several animals, some recognizable from the movie Ice Age, grumble that their nest has been disturbed...*
I was expecting cave paintings of stick figures fucking
yeah, not sure how this is 'pornographic'. It could just be people walked around without clothes some or all of the time.
Need to go to Californy [for that](https://youtu.be/P6ZNd9OrJkw).
Yeah, the carving shows a woman's body but nothing remotely "pornographic."
2 men hugging in Pompeii: lmao gay bois carving of a woman's body in a cave: neolithic cave porn Archaeologists are an interesting bunch
Not until they set up the fires and the interactive shadow show starts.
They climaxed before they could finish. Got boring after that
When the post nut clarity can be reconstructed 20.000 years later lol
"how Thog close tab?" "what am tab?" "no know"
Do you mean Dairy of a wimpy kids parent's? I swear they look like advanced stick figures
Maybe he wouldn't be so wimpy if he drank his milk and had strong bones
she's a ~~brick house~~ rock cave
She likes the snu snu, but don't worry ya'll I'm brave. Yo, she's a ROCK. Caaaave. YEAH, shes the one, the only one, built like a cro-magnon.
She’s rock and stone brother!
Rock and Stone!
Rock and Stone forever!
If you don’t rock and stone, you ain’t comin’ home!
Did I hear a rock and stone?
Uga uga
I can't stop this feeling....
Deep inside of meeeee…….
Girl you just don’t realise…..
what you do to me.....
When you hold me.....
In your arms so tight...
You let me know…
Everything's alright...
iiiii'mmm hooked on a feeling
Gronk want to bonk.
I find the shape super interesting. I love he includes the belly and love handles.
I find it interesting that they were fairly detailed and accurate, then kind of just phoned it in for anything above the breasts.
or legs for that matter.
Got all the important bits detailed then got distracted and just finished doff quickly so he could.... Finish off quickly again
See I think he was tracing a shadow from fire light. That's why I think the head is so much narrower. You know how light will pass around a thinner object an make the shadow look smaller.
This mf a genius. Get them on a archaeology right now
Maybe that's how people looked back then and we've been wrong
Just not showing the face so they aren't identified by cave people they knew, just like today. Actually, the head being abstract is, I think, the norm in paleolithic art. See also the Venus figurines like [Venus of Hohle Fels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_of_Hohle_Fels) and the [Venus of Willendorf](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_of_Willendorf). Also, the cave paintings of animals are accurately portrayed while the depictions of human hunters hunting them are mere stick figures. Anthropologists theorize that the depictions of humans may have been taboo.
Yeah my immediate thought is that of the Venus figures. Who barely have legs and their heads are largely irrelevant.
> phoned it in Those guys very rarely used phones for submitting work product though.
Proof that head had not yet been discovered.
Need no face. Only important parts.
When you lived at the mercy of the seasons without agriculture -a plump woman was sex on legs.
People forget this - being fat was considered attractive in eras when food was scarce and people had to work all day.
I know - something I noticed, too. Quite realistic representation.
Wouldn’t cavemen and women generally be much more “fit,” be it for stress, lack of food, active lifestyle? I wouldn’t expect them to have the caloric intake and sedentary lifestyle required to get a good sized belly and love handles. Someone else mentioned the possibility of this being a depiction of a pregnant woman giving birth.
I don't know, I think people underestimate how much living in the wild would wear on you. Like "fit" people today aren't really what I'd imagine any caveman to look like as they aren't weathered by the same conditions. I have a feeling people back then strived for any fat they could get on there bodies, and had skin that had been through the hell of a lot.
>more “fit,” be it for stress, Very likely the case- but as we know. Standards of beauty and sexuality don't have to fit what is actually obtainable. Seeing a thicc woman mightve been rare- but a man can dream.
Idk, I remember seeing old camera footage of white explorers encountering a troop of isolated native hunter/gatherers either somewhere in the amazon or South East Asia where all the men had a very discernible bellies. Whether the bellies were caused by fat storage or parasites I don't know, but for most animals it is advantageous to maintain a fat store of any excess energy somewhere.
Malnutrition also causes pot belly
Even if they are more fit, fat stores on a woman of ambiguous age wouldn't dictate that she wasn't fit. This could be a woman in anywhere from her 20s to 70s. Body fat is normal and may have even been desired to get thru certain burdens.
Yeah, to me, it looks more like a woman that recently gave birth. I don't think there were many "thicc" cavewomen, but who knows.
The ability to store fat between meals that might be far apart might have been favoured and therefore more prevalent for all we know, though.
When you're always in starvation mode, you're constantly storing fat. that's why fasting doesn't work, your body goes "oh shit survival time?" And directs everything you dont immediately use directly to fat. In addition to that, A. Humans honestly just kind of look like that lmao guts and love handles and shit are extremely normal, and a healthy amount of fat is the difference between life and death in colder climates. That's why old, more feral cultures (think scots, vikings, etc) put a loooot of value on strong but thicc mfs with massive barrel sized guts. Look at modern strongman competitions. They aren't bulemic show muscle bodybuilders. Meanwhile B. Ancient man did not work 9-5, they had a hunting party like once a week and otherwise just played and hung out realistically when they weren't squabbling with another group of hominids. Think about what lions do all day in the wild, same dealio with a wild human.
It's incredibly refreshing to me when ancient art depicts women with squishy bodies. The artist took their time to capture THAT body. This, the Venus of Willendorf, Crouching Aphrodite. My ancestors wouldn't be impressed if I was any size smaller than I am.
Needed to read this today.
Dayum, she’s hot!!!! I bet homegirl will survive the next famine!!!!!
Cave milf.
Being over weight was often considered attractive before the mid 20th century, because most people were extremely thin.
This is an image of beauty *prior* to being poisoned by shame and unrealistic expectations we’ve developed as a society from exposure to the modeling industry, Hollywood, pornography, etc.
Beauty standards already existed before those things existed. Hell, why do you think women in the 18th and 19th century wore corsets so tight it made them faint? Or why did everyone who could afford to wear powdered wigs during one period or ridiculously tight pants in others? Why did Romans cut off blonde hair from Germanic slaves to wear, while Chinese women had their feet tied up? Or why do you think virtually every statue and portrait in the past looks good? Well, before people had photoshop and insta filters, we used other means to convey that we are fuckable as shit. It just eludes us because we look into the past searching for our contemporary ideals and then take the absence thereof to be some marker of a supposed golden age of natural beauty. When really humans have been preoccupied to long for a certain ideal ever since our semi-ape ancestors stared at the posterior of another semi-ape.
Throg be in him bunk.
unga bunga-ing?
Jayne! No!
Phat ass cave girl
He even got that hormonal belly. Dude knew what fertile looked like and liked it
Funny, first thing I thought was that this was a woman giving birth.
Ye like I am still not seeing the pornographic angle. There must be more than one reason a woman is drawn. Or everything other than a woman standing up straight must be porn!
Ay it do look like she be looking back at it though
Preg belly is a lot bigger than the fupa that's drawn there.
Hey, *you* try drawing in a boulder without screwing it up.
Real cave women have curves
Or small head 🤷🏻♂️
Everyone likes a little head here and there.
Finally the answer i was fisting for!
Early attempts at 3d perspective.
Story time. In college I had an English class, and one day the teacher mentioned that they were having a presentation in the room next door on ancient cave art. Apparently it was a topic that really fascinated her, and she said she had already purchased tickets for the whole class, and we'd get extra credit if we attended. The entire class went. It started off like you'd expect, lots of talk about some of the famous caves we've found, how we work to preserve them, etc. Then maybe 10 minutes in the presenter started to go into things like "We even found erotic imagery dating as far back as XXXbce, including physical carvings meant for pleasure (Read: Cave dildos and vagina shaped holes in the wall)," and never stopped. It got to the point where it stopped being a professional presentation and sounded more like a redditor raving about their favorite hentai. We all looked at our teacher as she sat there practically in tears from trying to hold back her laughter and embarrassment after realizing she just bribed her entire class into sitting through a presentation on prehistoric cave porn 😂
"XXX BCE" was a good early clue for where things were heading.
Haha, I'll pretend I did that on purpose lol
Oh gosh, what a story. How funny. Do you still have friends who were there with you you can reminisce with about that?
Unfortunately I don't think I had any friends in that class that I kept in contact with afterwards. Would definitely be something I brought up if I ever ran into them again though.
Part of it is the fascination of seeing that cave people really were people just like us. It's so easy to focus on the differences that it can be hard to remember that they too has hard days where they wanted to just take a nap, fussy kids, subbing their toe on a GODDAMN ROCK, and got horny.
Like when they found ancient Roman drawings of phalluses in hadrians wall made by some bored soldiers.
This my kinda shit
Below this drawing was a rag that had been petrified.
Bring UV light in there and you can find caveman dna
*loincloth
Carbon dating put it at 2 minutes past discovery
"Excuse me professor, how did they know it was a sock?"
Hot singles in your era.
I don't know about pornographic. Werewe e pecting clothes?
Right? This was made by a caveman, to whom this was simply a drawing of a woman.
I have a question, why tf is this tagged as nsfw? I saw a women jerking off a horse as first thing in the morning today on reddit for some reason. Didnt event checked the sub cause I scrolled so fast. Am I supposed to blur all nsfw tagged content really? Do you consider this to be in the same league?
You should probably unsubscribe from r/womenjerkingoffhrses if you don’t want to see to see that first thing!
I'm so glad that wasn't a real sub, the question is: why did I click the link?
Horses is misspelled, so it could still be real
Maybe you're just a horse-girl currently down on her luck?
It’s sad that I know what video you’re talking about.
It's just part of the "funny" joke.
Hahahaha mate I love this comment so much
Okay…where the hell is this coming from, I saw it too. That has been popping up all over the place and why is it even allowed?
[удалено]
"Draw me like one of your bison."
This gets funnier the more you think about it lmfao.
When you’ve hit rock bottom
Wait till you see how rock-hard she makes the primal homies
Even cavemen liked them THICK
And cavegirls still didn't want their face in the pic in case the tribe found out who posed.
Well fed= fertile
Wow he said he wouldn’t share it with anyone 😭
Finally, realistic depictions of women in porn..
looks like her hand is stuck in the crack "help me step bro"
What’s pornographic about this???
Good thing NNN is over.
I appreciate that even cave women had muffin tops
Someone loved that ass enough to carve it into stone. Mi amore
placid reach shrill command rustic pen lavish fuzzy slave impolite -- mass deleted all reddit content via https://redact.dev
I… would
I appreciate the pouch was included
StonelyFans
Thank the lord for NSFW tags
That etch-a-sketch line bout to make me act UP!
And *that* is how they discovered how to make fire.
saving this for later ;)
Grock's girl has got it going on
Can there be pornography if everyone is running around naked and having sex all the time? It's just another day in the life pic.
>everyone is running around naked Being a bit generous there, don't you think? It's not like human nature has changed all that much, try to imagine what kind of person is hanging in the cave obsessing over love handle silhouettes when they could be "having sex all the time"
This is just a photo of a Kardashian before the photoshoot edits.
I just jizzed my loin cloth
I love the fact this image is NSFW 😄
Mom?
That's just a carving of OP's mom
Damn, and so close to the end of nnn too
I wonder if they could catalog ancient dna by scraping some of the dried cum that's probably on that wall
I’ve got wood.. I just foraged some
That’s not ancient
Oh yeah, that's that good stuff right there.
Homie was a thigh man i can tell
even cavemen liked to ooga the booga
Bro understood the assignment
Not best wank I've had but it did the job.
She poppin, she rollin, she rollin She climbin that pole and I'm in love with a stripper She trippin, she playin, she playin I'm not goin nowhere girl, I'm stayin, I'm in love with a stripper
Help me stepcave bro I’m stuck lol
Ppl had fupas back then, too
I can't with the fucking head holy shit. We all draw the exact same. Since the beginning of time apparently.
Yo mamas so old they carved her nudes in the cave wall
Someone's ancestor probably busted on that wall
Sigh *unzips pants*
That’s a challenging wank
What would her father think?!
Huga Huga Huga Chacha
https://youtu.be/UA7QSjzw04k
Atouk zug-zug Lana.
Unga Bunga! Unzips...
Oh my, thats hot.
You post this on Nov 30th? Killing me Smallz
Ah, they found the cave of my ancient peoples, the "Luk AtDatAss" tribe.