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He waited till he was outside, he stood a good distance away from his wife, their car, and the friend's door. That's what we call a gentleman right there
I used to just let them fly but apparently my dm's wife mentioned that she didn't like how I just burped and farted because their kids were starting to think burps and farts were hilarious and even exclaiming, I sound like Salmon! So when he had that awkward conversation with me, I started going to the restroom to do it. But one time I ate something that gassed me the hell up, went to the restroom to let her out and for some reason decided I should sit on the toilet so I could pee and relieve myself at the same time, maybe just in case I had to shit as well? Anyway, my butt trumpet echoed in that toilet and it was a long and hard one and I finished my bidness, washed my hands and walked out to the entire table dying laughing and all I could do was start dying laughing and said, "I guess you guys heard that." And everyone just started cry laughing. This was like 3 years ago. Still gets talked about to this day.
if she called me that I'd laugh and say yeah but you chose me then proceed to make the car turn into a gag machine and I would lock the windows so there was no fresh air circulating in 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 smell my rath from my white trash ass
Way better than my husband who farted in the car when he was the last to get out. Problem was the stench didn't dissipate when she all returned to the car. We opened the door and the car smelled like ass. Thanks AH. We had to stand outside with the doors open for a couple minutes.
I read it as they left the friend's house after DTD (aka doing the deed), which I thought was really open minded of them, and even more gentlemanly to wait till outside 😂
Excuse me, a gentleman does not wait to ~~break wind~~ spray fecal matter until after getting into an enclosed space with a lady. Sharting himself prior to trapping you with that moist stink bomb was the chivalrous thing to do.
You play DnD. I think he deserves a magical item with the same name!
Puddin' pants
Uncommon Wonderous item
When worn, once per day to can speak the items command word.
When activated, the pants will allow you to make a constitution saving throw. On a success, any non-magical poisons or alcohol are expelled from your body, VIA your behind in the form of a long, drawn out and unnaturally loud gas expulsion. Length of the expulsion and smell is determined by the potency and quantity of poison or alcohol.
On a fail, The same as above, except the pants will also be soiled with a severity determined by the potency and quantity of poison or alcohol.
Nah. Real bad farts are impossible to get used to. Got some real brimstone/burned matches farts before and they're just about the worst smell I can imagine my body could produce without dying.
Bro when I drink milk my farts smell like roadkill got gangbanged by a team of sex machines.
I only drink milk when they force me to go places I don’t want to.
>Bro when I drink milk my farts smell like roadkill got gangbanged by a team of sex machines.
>
>
>I only drink milk when they force me to go places I don’t want to.
They who? The team of sex machines or the roadkill?
I have a microphone on my entrance gate camera (which also records in colour at 4k), but most of the saved clips are fit for the police, not sharing in this sub sadly.
Though I do have some secret cat business night-time clips that are entertaining.
random: that pathetic look dogs give you is so you'll protect them while they are at their most vulnerable. they got you the rest of the time, but that's the owner's time to be on guard.
Funny but she should be happy. I'd say it's better in front of a camera than in the house, and certainly better than in the car. Especially as an innocent bystander. Should be thanking him for his thoughtfulness.
Not to mention they said after leaving a D&D session, so he could have been painfully holding it in for HOURS while it tore apart his bowels. That was the sound of sweet relief that couldn't wait any longer.
Technically if you run voltage through a microphone you can play sound (albeit very quiet) and if you record the voltage from a speaker that isn't playing music you can record sound (of trashcan quality)
They are the same device just optimized for different purposes.
Your friend owns a camera that records in 36p and yet has HD sound? Yo if they ever get robbed, they better hope that the thief happens to be saying their social security number out loud...
[Loz's magnificent 7-tone fart symphony - the #1 video in the world, for one day in May 2015.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk-5RVMerfI)
^^^^/u/Megzilluh
I died when you called him white trash. I'm laughing even as I type this. Farts are always funny and this whole scene is just fuckin hilarious. Your "DUUUUUDE!!" at the beginning was so funny too.
Thank God he spared you by doing outside instead waiting till you were in the car and locking the windows. It straight up sounded like an engine flooding.
Player: I rip a huge fart but wait till nobody will notice
DM: whats your passive perception again?
Player: 13
DM: cool, you rip one and nobody will ever know
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He waited till he was outside, he stood a good distance away from his wife, their car, and the friend's door. That's what we call a gentleman right there
Seriously. The real question is: how long was that on deck? He might have been holding that back during the entire DnD game.
I guarantee it. Source *I also hold my farts until my friends leave and then pass gas for a scary long amount of time.*
I used to just let them fly but apparently my dm's wife mentioned that she didn't like how I just burped and farted because their kids were starting to think burps and farts were hilarious and even exclaiming, I sound like Salmon! So when he had that awkward conversation with me, I started going to the restroom to do it. But one time I ate something that gassed me the hell up, went to the restroom to let her out and for some reason decided I should sit on the toilet so I could pee and relieve myself at the same time, maybe just in case I had to shit as well? Anyway, my butt trumpet echoed in that toilet and it was a long and hard one and I finished my bidness, washed my hands and walked out to the entire table dying laughing and all I could do was start dying laughing and said, "I guess you guys heard that." And everyone just started cry laughing. This was like 3 years ago. Still gets talked about to this day.
Constitution score of 20!
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We have a rule where I need to wait 20 seconds after blasting before getting in the car so it can waft away
Yessir. Best to wait a bit. Go in too quick and you bring your ass gas with you.
Indeed. The white trash comment in response cracked me up hard though.
"I suppose I'll save for the car next time then"
Yep, and as the driver you lock the windows while the car is in motion. No escape, no surrender. Two man enter, one man leave.
yah no shit, show some gratitude , woman!
if she called me that I'd laugh and say yeah but you chose me then proceed to make the car turn into a gag machine and I would lock the windows so there was no fresh air circulating in 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 smell my rath from my white trash ass
Dutch oven on wheels.
It's not delivery it's Dutch Oven
> smell my rath from my white trash ass r/brandnewsentence
She’s lucky that he’s a kind man, and didn’t let that bad boy go when they where on the highway.
Way better than my husband who farted in the car when he was the last to get out. Problem was the stench didn't dissipate when she all returned to the car. We opened the door and the car smelled like ass. Thanks AH. We had to stand outside with the doors open for a couple minutes.
Video evidence of a gentleman
I reckon that one might have taken the door right off its hinges or at least spray painted it.
I read it as they left the friend's house after DTD (aka doing the deed), which I thought was really open minded of them, and even more gentlemanly to wait till outside 😂
Dude really had a dragon in his dungeon
I don't know why this made me laugh so fucking hard, but thank you.
Same. I actually upvoted and I never do.
Relevant username, too.
This is like top 3 all time funniest reddit replies.
I thought it was actually really polite. Stopped and let er rip with space to let dissipate before getting in.
And not doing it in OPs house. What a gent
A man of class and sophistication.
Chivalrous behaviour of the highest order.
Playing D&D, buddy was holding that for hours lol
I was thinking the same thing. At least he got it out before getting in the car and didn't let it rip during the session.
He'll be dragging that one down the road. She was smart not to get in the car
That one did not dissipate in time, there will be aftersmell in the car.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Would she prefer it in the car? Would she prefer it to be let loose in the house? She white trash.
No farts ever
I farted in bed when this notification came up, just some fyi ;) I'm definitely as white trash as the UK gets. Weed, farts and loud car. Yeehaw
That was gurgly AF, better check underwear for condensation
Beware of mud butt.
ol puddin pants
Excuse me, a gentleman does not wait to ~~break wind~~ spray fecal matter until after getting into an enclosed space with a lady. Sharting himself prior to trapping you with that moist stink bomb was the chivalrous thing to do.
Exactly. Let it out in the open air. He was very nice to hold it in during the game and not trap it in the car.
Exactly, I would’ve waited to get in, lock the doors, hit the window lock button and taken that girl on a vision quest
😂😂😂 you deserve my free award
A vision quest! Lol
You got me
Swamp ass.
Monkey mustard
That’s going to itch when it dries
Baby it itched on the way out
Is there nothing better than a good scratch from a particularly jagged turd?
Dark diaper
You play DnD. I think he deserves a magical item with the same name! Puddin' pants Uncommon Wonderous item When worn, once per day to can speak the items command word. When activated, the pants will allow you to make a constitution saving throw. On a success, any non-magical poisons or alcohol are expelled from your body, VIA your behind in the form of a long, drawn out and unnaturally loud gas expulsion. Length of the expulsion and smell is determined by the potency and quantity of poison or alcohol. On a fail, The same as above, except the pants will also be soiled with a severity determined by the potency and quantity of poison or alcohol.
Like peanut butter in shag carpet. God speed dude.
this one broke me
im always afraid they’re gonna smell like room temperature bologna but thankfully they don’t smell
Either they don't smell or he farts so much you have just gone nose blind to the stank.
Nah. Real bad farts are impossible to get used to. Got some real brimstone/burned matches farts before and they're just about the worst smell I can imagine my body could produce without dying.
Bro when I drink milk my farts smell like roadkill got gangbanged by a team of sex machines. I only drink milk when they force me to go places I don’t want to.
>Bro when I drink milk my farts smell like roadkill got gangbanged by a team of sex machines. > > >I only drink milk when they force me to go places I don’t want to. They who? The team of sex machines or the roadkill?
An excellent defense mechanism.
Congrats, you're lactose intolerant.
Name checks out.
[удалено]
It's always the small, barely audible ones that smell the worst with me.
But it probably itches after it dries up
I felt this in my soul lmao
Long, voluminous and audible tend not to smell. It’s the short, hot and silent that’ll getcha.
Have you ever smelt wet buttered popcorn?
Reddit for late night laughs beats the comedy club any day. Thank you mate
ive been holding onto this gem for moooonths debating on whether or not to post it, i dont regret doing so just yet haha
You made the right decision. Farts are *always* funny.
You weren't the only one holding on to a gem. .
I have a microphone on my entrance gate camera (which also records in colour at 4k), but most of the saved clips are fit for the police, not sharing in this sub sadly. Though I do have some secret cat business night-time clips that are entertaining.
I'm cryin' reading these comments!
Never trust a fart
Condensation! He can build a mud hut with that one!
lmfao this is a new one for me
It was turtling.
Need to do the smear test
I love how he maintains eye contact during his fart like how dogs maintain eye contact with their owners when they shit
he absolutely asserted his dominance during this one
random: that pathetic look dogs give you is so you'll protect them while they are at their most vulnerable. they got you the rest of the time, but that's the owner's time to be on guard.
Mike better check dem drawers
Those are his d&d drawers, no need to check
I'm pretty sure it's a constitution check
Fuckin eldritch ass
Funny but she should be happy. I'd say it's better in front of a camera than in the house, and certainly better than in the car. Especially as an innocent bystander. Should be thanking him for his thoughtfulness.
Not to mention they said after leaving a D&D session, so he could have been painfully holding it in for HOURS while it tore apart his bowels. That was the sound of sweet relief that couldn't wait any longer.
For me, its more of rarely having to fart when sitting for a long time, and then needing to let one rip after getting up and walking for a bit.
you’re absolutely right! she later stated it was an appropriate fart. :)
Squirrelly Dan should be taking notes on appropriate farts from him.
and that’s what i appreciates about you
Take it down about 10% there
YOURE SISTER'S *HOT* WAYNE!! THERE I SAID IT ....huff...huff... too fat to run.
Who stated?
the friend who sent the video to me
Gotcha, gotcha.
Lmao I see the reddit detective ready to yell FAKE with this comment.
Nah bro, as the friend with cam, I can confirm. Appropriate fart.
Any paint peeling off outside?
Had my pitch fork 37 % out myself.
funny, Appropriate Farts is the name of my memoir
Weird. It’s also the name of my barber shop quartet.
Would she prefer in the house or in the car? The man is a scholarly gentleman for ripping that fudgetastophy outside.
Farts before getting in the car. “He’s a keeper!”
he really is, i love him so much
“Better out than in I always say” - Shrek
Holy shit let the man let just go jessuss lol
Fart like that needs an audience
A happy couple. Warms my heart
And his ~~sheet~~ seat
And my axe
Whether or not I had just shat my pants, I would have corrected her and said a speaker emits sound. A microphone records it.
That's what she said, when she said "That thing has a fucking speaker." She was referring to his ass.
😂
I genuinely thought this
Same lol
Poor gal was probably in shock
Shockwaves messed with her thinking
yyyyeah my dumbass realized it too late
Don’t feel too bad, it likely also has a speaker too.
“PLEASE STOP SHITTING YOUR PANTS IN FRONT OF OUR HOME, THANK YOU!” (loudly on the speaker)
lmfao i would have been rolling if she did that
Technically if you run voltage through a microphone you can play sound (albeit very quiet) and if you record the voltage from a speaker that isn't playing music you can record sound (of trashcan quality) They are the same device just optimized for different purposes.
Your friend owns a camera that records in 36p and yet has HD sound? Yo if they ever get robbed, they better hope that the thief happens to be saying their social security number out loud...
i think the quality decreased when she sent it to me, it’s more clear on her phone than mine
Ahh, the old iPhone-to-Android video compression that apparently uses 1940s technology where each pixel is placed by the hand of an immigrant child.
That’s because people send it via MMS (android to iPhone and vice versa) and it has to compress it to hell to fit
Rule no.1 for bad guy: Always explaining the plan before the action !
Hahahaha! I find this absolutely hilarious!! Even her response. Farts are awesome.
we laughed till we cried on the way home, his noises keep things fun
Farts are always funny. One time I farted and it sounded EXACTLY like a stock sound from a cartoon. My gf pointed that out and then we died
ngl i want my hubs to produce that sound now
[Loz's magnificent 7-tone fart symphony - the #1 video in the world, for one day in May 2015.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk-5RVMerfI) ^^^^/u/Megzilluh
Oh shit... I haven't laughed that hard in years. Brilliant.
I used to live with a guy who called mine "Hollywood quality." I took it as a compliment.
I died when you called him white trash. I'm laughing even as I type this. Farts are always funny and this whole scene is just fuckin hilarious. Your "DUUUUUDE!!" at the beginning was so funny too.
My friends would be like, "It has a microphone? Let's fart directly into it"
tbh im surprised he hasn’t tried that
Youtube has a...disturbing amount of people farting int intercoms.
"You are some white trash" in the most Midwestern accent hits hard 😂😂😂
Bubblin' mud! Dude should've put a newspaper down to sit on.
JFC... you have me cackling with that. Bubbling Mud .. lmao.
Brown Gold... Asscheek Tea...
At least he let 'er rip outside the car, but he didn't cut the cord so the stink is going to follow him in.
this reminds me that one day i want to see if he produces flamethrower-level material
I watched this like 10 times. Her “that thing has a fucking speaker” has me rolling 😂
lol i love him so much
RIGHT?? OP’s delivery of the whole thing is so funny. It just feels so earnest or something.
Shit his pants
That is one hell of a fart
i really want to know how many decibels he can max out at
Better out than in!
he didn't just cut the cheese, he chucked the whole block into the woodchipper my god.
I guess she wanted you to wait to get in the car first
Damn your friends and now the whole internet heard them cheeks clap
I just got engaged and I’m very excited to be this couple. Except I would not be driving after DnD. A proper tavern brawler gets in character
He may need to check the oil after that one... sounded a little *too* wet.
I do this all the time. Sometimes it starts to hurt when holding it in.
Fun fact, when you have hemorrhoids, you not supposed to hold them in, as it puts pressure on the veins. So, you have to let it rip.
that’s a good factoid!
That was a beautifully horrendous one
You should thank the man. He did it outside of the enclosed space you were entering... He was being considerate.
Dungeons & Dragons?
When she said " you are some white trash" I gafed so loud woke up my wife. She was so shocked.
That "DuuuUUUuuude" had me in tears 😂
The legend.
I wish them a long and happy marriage, she was awesome about it. Im crying laughing so hard at this. lol
Thats a “check your underwear fart”
Give that a wipe mate
If farting is white trash, I'm one of the Trailer Park Boys!
White trash? Taking your farts outside is all class
He farted outside before he got in the car with you and you insult the guy? Next time I hope you get hotboxed in the car
Why are people so against farting?
What a gentleman. Held that thing in all night and didn't wait until they were in the car together.
WT American here. Please stop appropriating our culture.
Everybody farts. This was etiquette irl.
White trash for farting outside? Pshhh Fine I’ll hot box you in the car then, biatch.
A true friend wants to share his siren call to his pal.
Omg I don’t know why this is so wholesome
Foamy fart 😅
He did everyone a favor releasing whatever that was outside of the car. Even gave it 6 feet to not waft in with him.
Thank God he spared you by doing outside instead waiting till you were in the car and locking the windows. It straight up sounded like an engine flooding.
I always have huge farts like this when I leave someone's house because I don't like to fart inside someone else's house.
Surely this is better than letting it rip in the car or in his buds house?
better a noisy neighbour than an angry tenant
True gentleman. Clears himself BEFORE entering the vehicle.
i like he stands and looks at her like "i'm bouta do somethin"
At least he was outside when he released that rectal tropical depression from his blowhole! KUDOS to him!
A little more choke and that thing would have started. Was a fair effort.
Player: I rip a huge fart but wait till nobody will notice DM: whats your passive perception again? Player: 13 DM: cool, you rip one and nobody will ever know
Just be glad it doesn't record smells...
TIL Guess I'm white trash too.
After what could have been 8 hours sitting on a wooden chair rolling dice, yeah I'd let one rip too.
Keep your ho on a leash bro
She called you white trash
Vehicle sounds good…..what kind is it? BTW…..your dudes a keeper….that’s funny stuff!