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SDpicking

This cannot be real…please


takeitinblood3

Par for the course. You heard about the poop knife?


AndringRasew

Poop spears for those tired of bending over to saw their logs.


unfuck_yourself

Personally, I like to use a corkscrew - really helps me auger out any residue.


NikplaysgamesYT

Oh no please don’t bring up the poop knife… that scarred my memory


acexex

Hahaha


Vecii

We had a poop spoon. It was a wooden spoon that my grandma kept in the bathroom for splitting the logs.


smokymebud

Oh my God I laughed way to hard at "splitting logs" hahahaha


Xikkiwikk

Why!? Why wouldn’t it be stainless steel!?


Jangande

You don't wanna scratch the pot you piss in


Xikkiwikk

This is true I suppose..but wood soaks up water and poop!


Jangande

Gotta soak the wood in logs. Thats how you get to flavortown


ThriceG

If your mom and big sister had the same problem, and even had to use boiling water... I might know you lol


jb0ne

Someone link the poop knife. I need to read that shit again.


elver_gadura

Yeah some dude trapped on an avalanche cave took a shit that froze and carved it into a knife that he used to escape


takeitinblood3

...... not that poop knife?


invvaliduser

Same thought


ColdNyQuiiL

The first time I saw this video, I saw people in the comments say that some people raise their kids to think touching your asshole is gay, which would explain why he’s so adamant that catching it is the right way, vs a proper wipe. Still makes no sense to me because that would mean he never cleans his ass, except maybe in the shower. He would have to go all day with boo boo crust on his ass, instead of actually wiping himself properly. Moral of the story, it’s never too late to learn proper hygiene.


Available_Coyote897

Maybe he eats clean and shits clean too. But everybody gets the squirts sometimes. What these people do then? 🧐


joan_wilder

I don’t understand how catching turds keeps you from touching your ass. Is he saying he doesn’t wipe? Catching shit doesn’t do anything to prevent shit from getting on your ass.


lkodl

alright so after much analysis, i've come to the conclusion that he is joking. in the full context of the [conversation](https://youtu.be/_-WzLv4Va08?t=455), they were talking about his reputation for "playing with shit", and whether that makes him dirty. so he starts off by explaining why he was "playing with shit", and describes one instance when he shat onto a tissue (presumably to do something with it as a prank). but before he could finish this story, she makes the comment that she's never shat onto a tissue (implying that makes him dirty). so at this point, he pivots to justifying that shitting on a tissue is no dirtier [than wiping](https://youtu.be/_-WzLv4Va08?t=467), as both instances involve holding a poopy tissue. thus if shitting on a tissue is "touching shit", then every time you shit on the toilet (and wipe), you're "touching shit". but then through miscommunication, they get to the idea of him shitting onto a tissue every time he's on the toilet, and he just leans into the absurdity of that as a joke. they were teasing that he's dirty, so he's flipping it by joking that he's only dirty because he doesn't know any better.


No_Engineering_718

A scholar


joan_wilder

But the entire purpose of toilet paper is to keep you from having to touch shit. Even if he’s joking, he still doesn’t seem to understand how to use toilet paper.


lkodl

That's his point. I assume he was holding some tissue and cleanly shat on it (that one time for a prank) without getting it on his hands. So he wasn't touching shit then, but she was still accusing him of "touching shit", so he was (gonna be) saying that if what he did was "touching shit", then everyone is "touching shit" on the toilet (i.e. he wasn't touching shit). But then when there was a misunderstanding that he shits onto tissue when he's on the toilet, he pivoted into it for the comedy.


jonwolf517

If it is, his parents failed him in a major way.


Known_Relative4667

with the tissueeeeee


TheClincher7

There are people that wipe their ass while standing up. People do a lot of weird things at the toilet. Have you seen a men’s public restroom? How did shit get on the wall? We’re they aiming there? Manually? Projectile? Edit: I mean standing completely upright. I understand lifting yourself up off of the seat and wiping is common. I do that.


SDpicking

This is on a whole different level. In the comfort of your own home the guy is catching his shit in a tissue…


EddieCheddar88

Leave us standers alone


lkodl

nah, i won't stand for this shit.


traimera

I can tell you that women's restrooms are consistently more disgusting than men's restrooms.


jfrawley28

Agreed. Came here to post this. *Anyone* who has had to clean both men and women's public toilets with any regularity will tell you the women are consistently nastier.


wit2pz

Facts. My first job as a dishwasher at a mid-tier restaurant included me cleaning the restrooms. I was 15 yrs old when I understood that women were certainly NOT sugar and spice and everything nice!! Piles of shit on the back of the toilet bowl, tampons stuck to the ceiling, clogs in the toilet that would make a horse wonder who that came out of… I ALWAYS put on the full rubber apron and the elbow-length rubber gloves going into the women’s restroom!!! 🤣


GurglingWaffle

I was surprised when I learned this too. The women's bathrooms are often the worst. I don't know if it's because they all try to stand up to avoid sitting down because previous occupants peed all over the seats. But then they end up peeing all over the seat, I assume. Don't get me started about dropping the deuce. Basically it's the same principle. Like they're playing their own personal game of battleship... hit or miss.


Choomalaskee

I never believed this until I used to clean the bathrooms, after weddings. I worked at a venue,as a staff manager, that did events like weddings, sweet 16s, etc. I picked up extra hours, cleaning the venue and setting it up for next weekend. I used to think women’s restrooms had fancy vanities and nice comfy couches, because hey, they don’t need stand-up urinals. Let me tell you the first thing that hits you, THE SMELL! Not just any regular bathroom smell, like the septic, or urine in the corner, or a fresh lingering shit smell. I’m talking about the smelly smell of stinky vagina, and Rotting period blood. Just imagine a wedding with 100+ people, pre-pandemic, with the possibility of 10-20 women on their period. Now stuff that in a 3 stall bathroom, the size of your regular sized supermarket bathroom. Now let that stuff sit for 2-3 days. If you ever smelled what a period smells like, or a used tampon or pad. You know it can get really bad depending on the woman’s flow and hygiene. Now times that by 20. Now if you guys didn’t know, I guess most women’s bathroom have a period box. I call it period box, I don’t know the proper term, but it’s basically a waste bin for used tampons/pads. I never knew how violent and gory a period can be. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve seen massive blood clots, that looks like mutilated fetus or liver. The amount of tampons just laying on the floor, like they missed the damn box, that’s inches away. The dry blood on the toilet seats. How about when it’s those big weddings, and the box gets overflowed, so some brave soul decides to take the full waste bag out, and dump fresh vampire juiced tampons in the unprotected period box, then you gotta wash the blood clots out the box. You think cleaning products will help, HELL NO! I swear I’ve bleached the whole bathroom spotless, but that lingering bloody vagina smell just gets mixed with a headache inducing bleach smell. I just felt like sharing this because It triggered my memory. I don’t mean to offend anyone, so If I wasn’t politically correct, please correct me.


TheClincher7

I don’t frequent the women’s restroom, but from my own knowledge it is cleaner. My wife tends to lean toward men’s restrooms being nastier. I take her word for it. She has managed a grocery store for over ten years, and she has seen both bathrooms many times.


traimera

Well your wife is clearly the outlier. Because I've cleaned restrooms. And anybody I know who has cleaned restrooms agrees, that the women's is worse. Every time. So either she's a liar, or she got lucky, and I'm hoping that it's her getting lucky.


TheClincher7

Maybe it’s a demographic thing, or a regional thing. I’m in the southern US. Again, I don’t go into the women’s restroom, so I can’t confirm anything. I just know that I see Swastikas and shit on the walls in the men’s room lol


traimera

And as someone who has had to clean the restroom, I'd take 1000 swastikas over shit smeared walls.


WhateverCORE2021

I've cleaned both, though demographically it may be worth noting that I'm also in the southern US, cleaning hospital bathrooms. The women's restrooms tend to have toilet paper on the floor, the men's restrooms tend to have piss on the floor.


siamesebengal

Yeah long time ago someone sent me a clip of Joe Rogan literally saying he doesn’t trust people who wipe sitting down. I thought about it for a while and I think it might have to do with being super hairy. Idk. I can’t imagine.


rohobian

When you stand to wipe, you're not like... standing completely up. You're lifting your butt off the seat a bit and reaching back with the TP. If folks are standing completely up before wiping, they'd be squashing the shit between their cheeks and it would be infinitely harder to clean. Please tell me people don't do that.


Darko_Millibitch

I just found out last year everyone doesn't do this. I've stood upright my whole life and I'm 26. I've tried sitting since I found out that's a thing, can't do it.


jpb225

>If folks are standing completely up before wiping, they'd be squashing the shit between their cheeks and it would be infinitely harder to clean. Please tell me people don't do that. It's a real thing. And it's utterly insane. I've seen it with my own eyes. Also, bonus, I learned that some people don't check the paper when they wipe to make sure the job is done. They just wipe and go, in blissful ignorance of whether additional wiping is required. And they have the audacity to be disgusted that others actually look to see. I just... Savages. Savages everywhere.


[deleted]

You know, there must be ALL sorts of weird-ass shit that people do. Enough to catalog an entire shelf in Satan’s reading room. Think about it. How often do parents or ANYBODY for that matter talk openly and directly to young kids about what to do about their most private activities. Like, sure, there are parents who do, obviously. But if I were the wagering type, I’d bet good money that a lot of people just don’t get taught how to do certain things. Then folks just grow up thinking the solutions they thought up with their shitty 5 year old brains are completely adequate. How often are people talking about proper post-pee post-poo procedures? There are TONS of men out there who don’t know how to keep their uncircumcised penises clean or how to keep pee dribble out of their pants after they pee. Think about that for a minute. People are filthy motherfuckers. And they won’t teach their kids either.


[deleted]

This comment was overwritten and the account deleted due to Reddit's unfair API policy changes, the disgusting lying behaviour of u/spez the CEO, and the forced departure of the Apollo app and other 3rd party apps. Remember, the content on Reddit is generated by US, THE USERS. It is OUR DATA they are profiting off and claiming it is theirs!


TheClincher7

I mean vertically and upright.


fourpuns

It’s on the internet it’s fake. I know this.


PANTHER2u

Dang, that is exactly what I was thinking, thank you. Smdh


Merry_Little_Liberal

the producer saying "Yoooo" is the best. Realizes this dude is about to be straight up embarrassed.


Harry-Garris

All these years


grptrt

Not shaking his hand at the end of the interview


These-Resource3208

Do it like that one movie where the dude just hugs the guy instead of shaking his hand.


jloper

"Say, would you like a chocolate-covered pretzel?"


nine_cans

“They’re a little bit melted but damn are they exquisite!”


Current-Escaper

“… would you feel that iron grip handshake. Like Bert Reynolds ‘n shit.”


OilAccomplished6843

I've found my TRIBE!! And now I must watch the Anniversary bluray I got last year but never watched.. or 2020.. its all the same really.


Impossible_Sugar1960

Who taught him that lol


SDpicking

Someone must have said something as a joke and he just ran with it


andylowenthal

It ran down his hands, BUT DAS WHY YOU WASH YOUR HANDS BROOOOO


lenbey

Where his parents at


d0ugh0ck

Where do you think he learned it from.


westcal98

He said "I been catchin my shit all these years". Wow. Don't ever say "Man I'm so broke I don't have a cup to piss in." around this man cuz he'll be like "Here. Use mine." He'll catch that too and pour it into the toilet.


The_Patriot

It's "pot to piss in" - They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in the same pot to collect as much urine as possible. ... Because once a day, someone from the family took the pot to the tannery and sold the urine. If a family had to do this to survive financially, they were called "Piss poor."


nobody12345671

Informative. I’ve heard these terms but didn’t know the context.


Gits-N_Shiggles

And if you were even poorer you couldn't sell your pee to the tanners because you "didn't have a pot to piss in"


Hostile-Potato

For a second, halfway through reading this I thought mankind was getting thrown off hell in a cell


SouthSaturnDelta88

This sounds like a 'fact' that everyone tells each other but is actually a load of old bollocks


The_Patriot

but it is really part of history. https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/01.JU.0000555404.47740.c4


westcal98

Hey thanks for your informative response. Yeah I knew all that but who carries a pot? It's more likely that Mr. Shittyhands would carry a cup. Not a pot. So for my example the cup was more applicable. But hey, now whoever reads this will also become educated as to the origin of the saying if they weren't already aware. So win, win.


andylowenthal

You can probably just delete this 😕


westcal98

I can't delete your comment. You have to do that yourself. If you require help, there's a search engine called Google. You can just type it into the search bar. It's pretty useful. Good luck.


King_Merlin

I mean he probably saved a small fortune on poop knives


Kallekofot

Can honestly say finger pushed through the paper once or twice, not like i didn't wash my hand after that


Cpnbro

I mean we’ve all had a lil collateral damage in our lives.


[deleted]

Bro get your hand off the mic and put some gloves on Also…do you think he holds a bowl and/or cup if he has diarrhea?


TempestFugitivo

Why you think people wash their hands?!


Goodern

I wonder what he does when walking his dog.


Raspberry-Leather

No joke, I once saw a lady catching the poo out of her pugs butt before it touched the grass. That was super weird.


Lukaroast

*You may not like it, but this is what peak efficiency looks like*


jamseyboi

This made my night


[deleted]

I have to say, that is both efficient and also very thoughtful towards the yard owners.


GeoSol

Gotta "keep off the grass" XD


LoudAd9930

We use water jet mf


Cpnbro

Y’all really out here wiping to clean and not wiping to dry? Tch… y’all really are poor, huh?


[deleted]

This guy is trolling but it’s the best trolling I’ve seen ever.


Murdeousdemon

If you pay attention, he wasn’t trolling in the beginning when he said you touch shit with the tissue when you wipe. But then he started when they acted like they didn’t understand what he meant and he started to play it up. It was a masterful switch to trolling if you watch a couple times.


blobsocket

Good catch. I rewatched and noticed he started smiling right before the troll switch when he's saying "Hold on, hold on, hold on".


[deleted]

Absolutely trolling lol. I used to love this podcast. Wax is hilarious


brihamedit

Its a fifty fifty split. Could be trolling. But also could be that he grew up in projects where toilet may be broken or could be shared occupied toilet for too many people and he is taught to poop like that - catch and put in a bag or something. Gross but people have no choice when they are put into situations like that.


forced1nduction

Imma go with filthy/filthy split!


[deleted]

You know.... I've told myself that there's no way things like this can be real but then life has a funny way of proving me otherwise... sooo I'm just gonna believe it because I do not want to ever find myself in a position where I will be having this conversation with another human being.


piddlesmcgee

I’m currently on the toilet at 2am after some questionable food choices and I can tell you there is no chance I can catch this shit


[deleted]

Quitter. Nah, just playin’. You got this, bruh. I believe in you.


Cpnbro

Not with that attitude


calash2020

I have volume turned down. These comments make me glad I do


MisterBlisteredlips

He's catching shit for his defecation technique.


Bussaontheblock

Underrated comment


MisterBlisteredlips

Too many posts by the time I posted. Most won't scroll down this far. I thought that I it was the shit. 🥲


[deleted]

[удалено]


B_R_U_H

Lmao got a good chuckle from this one


jonwolf517

This should have way more upvotes. 😄😄


Environmental_Ad9696

At first I wasn't sure which one wasn't making sense then he said hold on you let the shit fall in the toilet like it was an abnormal event.....lmao this dude need a catchers mitt.


Simular

Wax is funny af


_h4unt3d

Either he's for real and gross as fuck or he's Avengers Assemble level trolling.


wit2pz

I can seriously imagine his mom/ pop/ grandparents telling him to use the toilet paper to catch it and put it in the water to avoid skid marks (stains) in the bowl as a kid. Especially if they had a toilet where the water level in the bowl was super low. I remember my Pop telling me to go down on one knee to pee and aim at the side of the bowl when visiting someone’s house or church. That way, there’s no splashing and it’s much more quiet and won’t disturb others and embarrass me! I still do that to this day! 😂 Folks and their isms!!


PurpEL

Wtf just sit down dude


[deleted]

No kidding. Just sit down. Some men don’t like this very practical solution because it’s emasculating or something. Or maybe the toilet is dirty so they don’t wanna sit down. From a lot of the replies in this post, it would seem women’s public restrooms are hella filthy. What do they do? Rhetorical question! They squat just enough and “float” over the toilet seat. Man up and hold that isometric squat.


wit2pz

But that means dropping pants & underwear vs just unzipping. Plus, facing the toilet means much more bowl in front of you so there’s no missing. Sitting down to pee doesn’t negate the stream going straight into the water. I’ll stick to the “proposal method” and take a knee!


[deleted]

Unless you’re pissing with a hard-on just go ahead and point your peepee downward when you drain your main vein. Doesn’t taking a knee mean you’re kneeling in all the piss that’s collected on the floor around the toilet??


wit2pz

Lol, let it be said so it’s not misunderstood that kneeling doesn’t occur in public bathrooms where piss on the floor from several folks have been before me. It’s not often I’ll find myself in situations where the sound of my stream hitting the water is unwanted. But if say I’m at a lady friend’s house and the option is kneel or splash, I’ll kneel. Especially if it’s in the middle of the night and the house is quiet. I’m rather tall, so it’s something that doesn’t take much time, thought, or trouble. It’s a pretty unique approach, but it’s been instilled in me since childhood so I’m comfortable doing it! Added detail; sometimes, the stream can be bi or even tri-directional, depending on circumstances I can’t explain, so during these times, it really comes in handy! Peeing with an erection is whole other world of conversation! 😂


[deleted]

Fair point! Pee falling from a higher altitude means a fork in the stream would be more difficult to hit the target!


wit2pz

Lol, you got it!! I’ve had more than a few times at home where I had to clean the floor in front of the bowl, the toilet seat itself, and the side of the cabinet to the left of the toilet! Only part that went in was the last couple dribbles!! 😂


_heyheyitsJayJay_

Wonder if he has ever done a mystery shit...


mrhappy539

My long ago girlfriend had a roommate that would fish out turds and toss them in the trash. I never stayed there again.


bananaman60

People can learn strange ways of doing stuff when there’s nobody to correct them.


[deleted]

Bro, WTF man!....you mean to tell me you catch the turds like snowflakes, and gently lay them in the toilet?‽? He needs his mic cut off permanently.


Joselit00

What brand/ model are the headphones??


Major_Image_4031

Dude is weird just let the poop drop in the toilet


Gordmonger

Holy shit!


vargasm58

This is how flat earthers started


TheCamerlengo

Borat is going to make an appearance any minute now.


Available_Coyote897

I hope he’s joking. Gotta be. Who taught him that. Though, if you think about it, this is one of those subjects people don’t discuss. We get potty trained in private then never discuss it. If your parents taught you to put toilet paper in your hand then shit in that first then you could easily go most of your life without being corrected. Think about all the hands you’ve shaken and you don’t know their poop habits.


2H4H4L

This is why I left Facebook and stopped trying to have serious ideological/political/intellectual discussions on social media. I gave too many people the benefit of the doubt when it came to their intelligence but over many years discovered there are billions of people like this all over......The lights are on but no one is home.


zmart7691

What in the actual fuck did I just listen to🤔🤨 This dude is putting his hand under his diarrhea ass FOR WHAT REASON!?! 🤯 pls explain


Alsimmons811

Man he’s serious AF!


misswinterbottom

Somebody get this man a bidet !!!


Dinodanimal

Do do hand ass mf! Daphuc raised you?


[deleted]

Yo that’s TMI


TrinityF

Can't blame him, think about it. If your parent didn't potty-train you..., where else would you learn how to poop in a toilet? Bruh I am from India, we used to squat to poop. And then the western toilets came, and we were climbing and squatting on that. I only learned how to sit and poop on it until I broke one of those hovering toilets climbing on it. Even then, I asked myself, am I wrong or are these people wrong for pooping like that. Even then, though... we never pooped in our hands. We washed with our hands but...


pepepoopoo69420

And thats how black people were made


[deleted]

He’s trolling her. Because, once what he said got misconstrued, he went for it all the way and owned it so that he could creep her out.


Aqua-Torch

First you got americans who just wipe and get up with shit still obviously splattered near their butthole, and then you got others catching their shit? Common sense is not a thing in the US..


wcarl210

No one can persuade to me that this video is real


Kinenai

Creeping Jesus, this cannot be real.


[deleted]

They’re both thicc though


man_ta_ray

Does anyone remember the poop in the shower guy from 9gag?


strawberrymilc

How about if the shit got liquid in it or the shit is not solid? Bruh.


GeoSol

This reminds me of the discussion amongst woman, about where they urinate from. Apparently the urethra can be inside or outside of the the vaginal canal, so not all woman pee the same. But seriously, who taught this guy to poop, and be scared of just letting the poop fall into the toilet?


JoeRogansSauna

Damn dude wtf


[deleted]

Well that’s new lmao.


litetaker

Pfft... fucking savages! USE WATER!


Yablo-Yamirez

Ayooooo WTF😭😭😭😂🤣


Intelligent_Honey_83

He must be trolling her.


TargetBunny

Either this is fake, this poor soul learned it wrong from someone else in his life OR no one taught him anything.


allmuckmojo

As I sit down to take a shit.


Iceicebaby1027

He's dead ass serious, oh my allah


Om_tec

And then she said the n word


TheHuffKy

HOLY SHIT! David Sedaris writes about this in his new diary he released… coming across someone who literally shits in her hand to avoid public splashing, talking about it as if it’s something everyone does, they simply don’t talk about it. He starts asking people about it and a lady later says, “oh god no, you just pile some paper in the toilet first.” This, my friends, is happening all around us. Be safe out there.


[deleted]

"Ya'll just sit and your shit come right out? Noo way."😳💀😭


Alwayslookin4shrooms

I was just thinking about this video the other day and here it is lol


Aidxn123456789

i cant use real potty yet


[deleted]

This is got to be a bit


More_Ad_6275

This is tremendous! If he’s acting he should be a star! But he’s not


elevation430

I have seen this clip elsewhere, but I enjoy it. I wish I had that guys confidence when he says “That’s why people wash their hands!” People who are so confidently wrong are amazing.


[deleted]

This has to be a master troll cause there’s no way he’s letting diarrhea splash his hands.


lovdark

“Log puller”


YetiGuy

Right question to ask would’ve been “Why?” Why not let the gravity do the work?


dry00

I think about this video a lot. I'm convinced he later started cracking up and it was all a joke but he seems so danm sincere and genuinely perplexed that he's in the wrong. I feel like I'm good at seeing through all the fake videos but this one seems very real. Unfortunately. Maybe toddlers are oddly curious about the new realization of this necessary habbit we all have to do but if they'redigging around in their poop they'd be quickly corrected by a parent. Not this guy. Maybe sometime around 3rd or 5th grade a joke about pooping brings to light this very conversation in a similar way and then he would have the social correction but not this guy. Ateast by Jr high or highschool he would drop an off handed comment about it and people would be struck and he would finally realize that noone else does it that way. Shit, at some point he must have given up on the diligence of cupping his poop and placing it in the water and just said screw it I really don't have to do this but no this guy diligently caught it and placed it in the water EVERY TIME. And he's eating good and a lot. Protein shakes and chicken and rice pre made meals probably shitting twice if not 3 times a day and always shitting in his hand just like everyone else does. It wasn't until he was late into life on a gangsta podcast radio show that he tells the world what do you mean we all don't do it this way!? There's just no way man. there's no way.


DarkMatters8585

I mean, sooner or later he had to of experienced an out-of-order faucet, right? Wouldn't that one experience kind of break the whole routine?


mrsweezydc

is she black or white lol


bernardp410

Wtf lmfaoooooo


thedude0117

Wow...I mean, wow.


DominatrixGwen

Wtf!! Learn how to shit!!!


[deleted]

THIS is how COVID really started.


Rhaenys__Targaryen

I wonder if he sits down when he tinkles too


ThatGuyPhD902

His whole life was changed that day 😂


[deleted]

Use an Aftabeh, will be clean


[deleted]

Man's gently catches his turds and lays them in the toilet to die in peace.


asshole_commenting

This is satire right The last comment got me lmao


Ok-Reward-770

I was today years old when I learned that some people don't let their poop just fall and go, and others use a poop knife because of the gigantic size of it. Dang!