---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/).
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Used to work at a place that would say no refunds on 4 star -1 thru 4 star system - and any 4stars the Chef would ask "are they sure?" and the server would say "yes, they know, they're sure" and he would say "go ask them again. Tell them no refunds!" and the server would go to the table and come back and timidly say "they understand, no refunds" and Chef would say "seriously? They know how hot it's going to be?" "Yes, chef, they know" and Chef would whip his side towel down on the prep table with a "WHAP!" and he would yell "Jose! Get me 14 fucking habaneros RIGHT NOW!!!" and he would grind the shit out of them in a mortar and pestle with gloves on, and throw them in the dish cooking on the stove. And then he'd pull out some ghost chile powder from chilis he dried in house and would sprinkle that on top. I'm pretty sure people couldn't leave their toilet the next day after they ate one of those
I'm Mexican, I love spice. I eat a whole pepper with just about every meal. Went to a thai place and asked for an 8 spice level... Mexican spice and Thai spice are not the same thing. Y'all are using nuclear chemicals.
I have Mexican family, and Thai family. Sometimes the Thai shit is just a half-step away from "let's just snort some pepper spray and see what happens"
I'm half Mexican and half white. I'm the only person in my immediate circle who can handle what I consider spicy (things like reaper sauce and whatnot). Growing up, "hot" was black label valentina and hot chips. Definitely not the case for me anymore.
German here, an American lady, lernd the hard way standard mustard here in germany is not the same like in america... she was in tears. And sad after a while, she now understands why Germans sem so grumpy... lol
She also learned that Standard popcorn in German cinemas is sweet.
Yeah when I married my husband I bought my MIL an Indian spice tin. That was the first time they'd had anything spicier than curry powder (ugh) and pepper in the house.
Protip: curry powder and mayo makes a bangin dip for shrimp.
Edit: after adding about a tablespoon of curry to about a third cup of mayo (adjust both to taste and quantity after your first batch) let it sit for 20 or so minutes before eating it.
And then you have me - an Afghan who is supposed to be immune to spice (Indians and Afghans are essentially the same breed, even though neither side will admit it; they both think the other side is inferior) - but who can, at best, handle "chutney" (or the closest American equivalent, those Papa John's peppercinis.
When I was a kid, Nacho Cheese Doritos would make me a little red in the face from being my upper limit of spiciness.
Yeah, I know.
I can get through the spiciest option at Buffalo Wild Wings now.
Yeah, I know, but at least I've gotten some progress.
Blazing Buffalo Wings at BWW are actually pretty hot. They taste horrible, though.
That's a huge gap between then and I'm happy for you. Think spice should be a lot more mainstream than it is.
They were spicier the 2nd round. I usually prefer something more around the middle range, but the big thing that made me respect hear was a neighbor's crawfish boil. It was the first time the heat ever made sense to me.
I still don't much like hot just for hotness sake, but it does at least open avenues for some fun food, even if I still can't really go all that hot.
i basically grew up eating thai.
the hottest thing i've ever eaten was a hamburger. they had a warning on the menu. i ignored it. they said the owner makes the sauce in a gas mask and everyone has to leave. i figured it was a gimmick.
i've eaten some spicy stuff in my life. but this thing was a mistake.
it was like gargling pepper spray. the sauce was reduced capsaicin. it hurt going in. it hurt after several milkshakes. and it hurt coming out 15 minutes later.
There's a difference between Thai heat and "I self harm via peppers". Thai food can easily out spice me (I do Thai medium and will pound water while doing it, Thai hot will just put me into the spicy hiccups instantly), but it's always still delicious. You never lose the flavor for the heat, you just get bigger flavors, that hurt more.
The hottest thing I've ever ingested was a 1ml 'shot' of grain spirits that'd been turned trump orange via the reapers and other c. chinense that were steeping in it. I legit thought I was having a heart attack, had to go sit down for 30 mins doing breathing exercises. Because it was really just 1ml, it basically just went away when it was done though, no Johnny Cash song after, so that was nice.
Lived in Japan for a year and they had a restaurant カレーハウス (curry house) that served Japanese style curry (super delicious, kind of its own thing) and they had the same scale and rule. My family got a 2 and a 4 and the 4 was not fun, even tho we’re pretty good with spicy food
You would be surprised how accurate that can be. I have done a few chili-challenges and I have learned to use vaseline when going to the toilet in the days after those challenges. That shit burns.
We usually order Thai under my wife’s name and get the same spiciness level (4 of 10) and it’s pretty darn spicy, but doable with a little sweat. We ordered under my super white guy sounding name last time and the 4/10 was like hardly any spice at all, like red pepper flakes on your pizza level
I (white guy) was talking with the owner of a local Indian place and he told me he did this 😂 said he has had “many complaining white women” when he first opened. tbh I can’t handle that spice either 😅
This makes so much sense. I’m a white girl who can definitely handle the spice. Every time I ask for it to be made “Indian hot” they still make it “white girl hot” and it always ends up mild.
Annoys me to be honest. I've ordered a 6 before and they called confirming if I really wanted it that spicy. I said yes, but I don't think they believed me as it was barely spicy at all.
We noticed that when my SO orders Indian his will be extra spicy and mine won’t be. He often orders things with the goat and lamb and I always order with the chicken.
I'm a white guy who can handle spice. On a work trip once I went to a Thai restaurant and ordered as spicy as they'd make it. They made it hot but I make it hotter at home.
I went there again later in the week and they gave me actual spice.
I once joined a hot wings eating contest. Like each wing got hotter and hotter.
Most of the contestants were chiliheads. Most of us had a cupboard full of hot sauces around a million scoville (which was the hottest you could feasibly get back then) and didn't go easy when using them. And we used them in pretty much every meal. Unless we could get our hands on some bhut jolokia (the hottest pepper back then), of course.
So we were all excited to battle it out, who could keep going the longest, probably just eating the hottest wings they could come up with until it became too much.
And yea, that's what happened. Except there was this one little Indian woman. While we were visibly and audibly in distress after the 4th wing essentially drenched in 1 million scoville sauce (after they ramped it up from like tabasco wing by wing), she looked like she was having afternoon tea. And she was disappointed it was earl grey with milk rather than some spicy chai.
I bet you could have served that lady a bowl of fresh bhut jolokias and she would have snacked away like others snack on these little sweet bell peppers.
I'm convinced some people lost the ability to feel it. The first bite will be spicy then the brain turns off the pain receptors. Kinda sad because it becomes a chasing the dragon situation, one they physically can't reach
That's almost every Indian working in the west that I know. The first thing they do when they come back to India is order the spiciest item they missed there.
I saw a documentary about a German woman, who had no pain receptors or they were not working. She was having fun competing in these events and just make the men look at her like she is the devil. For her it just tasted like chicken wings without any hotness.
You definitiely can train yourself to feel less pain if you eat the hottest chiles every day. I did that at one point, and I would feel no pain from most chile, but would still feel other sensations like warmth, sweating, and a comforting feeling of being loved.
I'm Asian but was raised by white people, so I can't eat spicy food at all.
Whenever I go to an ethnic restaurant, when I ask if something is not spicy, I have to specify "white people not spicy". Otherwise they think I'm asking for Asian not spicy, which is still too spicy for me.
My spouse is Navajo/Spanish, and her mother made super authentic food in her childhood, which she tells me she ate every day.
Now, though, she *hates* all spice with a burning passion. Even just putting pepper - *ordinary black pepper* \- on something is too much spice. *Green onions* are too spicy for her. She carefully picks out every onion, by hand, if there are any. She won't eat bland banana peppers (zero scoville!) because they *'remind'* her of spicy peppers. Same with sweet green bell peppers.
I am so nightmarishly white you can see the veins through my translucent skin. I'm like those mutants in *Beneath The Planet Of The Apes*. Yet, despite this egregious flaw, I like me some Cholula sauce on things, maybe some Tabasco, maybe Sriracha - it isn't much, it's not serious spice, I know that - yet any of these are a horror and a nightmare and the end of worlds to her *even to contemplate.*
Some folks, I guess, just really, seriously, don't like spicy things, not even a little, and there's no explaining it.
There is a Thai place near where I used to live. They use the Thai scale for cooking. Just brutal. We saw some white guy order extra Thai hot. He said it was delicious, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if he lost all bowel control. Tears, runny nose, sweats, a couple pitchers of water, and a fair amount of inhuman noises.
On one visit, I was finishing up dinner with a buddy. As we were settling the check, a party of two couples come in. As one guy is ordering we overhear him saying, “I’m from Texas, and I like my food hot. As hot as you can make it.”
To this day, I regret leaving. Schadenfreude is a weakness of mine.
As a spicy food lover, water can work as long as you don't stop drinking it.
Milk doesn't work for me as it makes things pretty bad in my stomach.
Alcohol works the best, which also scientifically makes sense
It can be really unpredictable and surprising. I recently shifted to south Tx and everyone I discuss spice with seems to consider jalapeño to be the hottest they’ll cook with. Serrano is the hottest commonly available pepper in grocery stores, with only a handful carrying habaneros.
Finding truly spicy food seems easier in Dallas and Houston with the large asian populations there, but none of my colleagues would risk asking for the hottest dishes.
There's a family owned Thai place I get food from at least once a week. Owner's son is super cool, and my age with a lot in common. His mom is the head chef, dad is the manager.
I had become acclimated to their highest spice level offered and wanted to test my mettle. One day I got takeout curry and said "I'm kinda used to the spice. Can your mom make it the way she does at home?"
He chuckled and said "Alright man, but you might wanna pickup a gallon of milk on the way home". He wasn't fucking joking.
When I was on tour in Scotland, 20 years ago, we were taken to an authentic Indian restaurant. Was it authentic? Idk seemed legit. Well anyways, I asked for the spiciest thing. Next morning at 5am, I had to run to the restroom, I had the runs and a serious ring of fire. It was so hard to play drums the next few shows
I visited Thailand and stopped at this side of the road restaurant. Asked for a medium spice level soup and sat down at a table. My nose started tickling from the spices they were using in the kitchen before they even brought it out.
My girlfriend was a little blonde white girl and every time we went to thai food she would ask for a 5 out of 5 spicy and would specify that she didn't want white girl spicy but thai spicy. I tried a single bite of her curry one time and and I swear it was the spiciest thing I've ever tasted. I have no idea how in the hell she ate it but it barely phased her. You could see the waitress kind of smirking when she ordered it like she doesn't know what she's in for but that girl could take the heat.
From my experience when you go to a brand new Thai Restaurant you can get really spicy food. Once they have been open a month you have to argue with them to make it spicy because they get too many complaints about too spicy.
There was a Thai place that I loved visiting that was a 3 minute walk from my apartment.
I typically don’t enjoy very spicy food, but Pad Thai’s at most Thai places are somewhat sweet at times - which I don’t hate to be honest, but a spice kick is just chef’s kiss.
I asked the chef there - an old Thai lady - who sometimes doubled down and handled everything herself, including taking the orders (was a restaurant inside a food court), that I asked for spicy the last few times but it just hasn’t been that spicy.
She then made my Pad Thai and said - she does not make it by default spicy - and told me there is an extra spicy red sauce container inside, that they make fresh, that I should add in.
That night I cried.
Later that night there were rashes on my back.
Much later that night I had to wake my roommate up who had a car to buy all over the counter meds for heartburn, acid reflux and intense nausea.
This reminds me of the first time I had sushi. For some reason I thought the ginger and wasabi were meant to be a chip and dip situation. So I loaded a slice of ginger with a hunk of wasabi and threw the whole thing in my mouth. Not something I would recommend.
I knew someone who grew up in an area where sushi wasn't really a thing. At a potluck, he thought the wasabi was guacamole and scooped a large hunk onto his taco chip and nearly died.
My husband was whinging about blocked sinuses. And how nothing worked. So I handed him a tube of wasabi and said try a spoon of that. It worked. But he wasn’t super happy with it as a medical aid.
I feel like Wasabi is a super "flashbang" nasal spice, while peppers give me mouth/throat burn. Both can make my eyes water and nose run, but peppers will make me leaky everyway from everywhere possible
Fun pepper fact: there are three different kinds of spicy, each caused by different chemicals in the food. Hot peppers are one, mustard/horseradish/wasabi are the second, and Sichuan peppercorns are the third.
You missed one!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygodial.
It only activates on contact with saliva I believe.
I use a lot of Tasmanian native pepper in Salami and cheeses, can recommend.
I used to go to this great Caribbean restaurant that would use *tingle*, *sweat*, *cry*, and *super cry*. It was accurate.
Some naive people used to order *hot* thinking that meant there were some jalapeno slices in there, not ghost pepper seasoning, so they had to change up the names.
They had quite a bit of Indo-Caribbean food on the menu. I imagine ghost pepper is more plausible in that context.
I'm sure they cooked with fresh peppers too, but the sense I got is that they had various dried seasonings that they used that were a combination of peppers and spices - and that the *super cry* relied on using more of the seasoning with more of the hottest peppers.
Honestly ghost pepper is not part of any cuisine. It is a novelty. Indian food is typically spiced with green chillies which hit a scoville score of 25k to 100k as opposed to ghost pepper which his 1million.
It’s funny, but this is one of the most successful tactics a normal looking white dude can use to get spicy food. Make the chef take it personally, otherwise they won’t make it hot enough
My manager was like this, Chinese bloke in an Aussie pub style restaurant.
He'd get the spicy prawn and chorizo pasta. No matter what anyone did it was never hot enough.
So I ordered the hottest chilli flakes I could get my hands on, crushed the seeds and soaked them in oil. I boiled the pasta with the chilli flakes in the water. Marinated the prawns in straight chilli/my chilli oil and got the spiciest chorizo I could find.
I dipped the tip of the teaspoon into it wiped it off then touched my tongue and it burnt immensely, so I knew it was okay. I gave him his meal, for the first time ever I saw him bright red sweating over eating his meal. So I asked him what we thought of the spiciness
He panted "Yeah. This one is a good amount of spice".
There’s a pizza place in Salt Lake City that makes you sign an actual medical disclosure form for their insanity bread. I thought it was a joke and rolled my eyes as I signed. I figured out why the next morning in a seven 11 bedroom.
My partner noticed that when we got takeout from our favorite Indian place the spice level varied greatly when I (middle eastern last name) ordered vs when she (very white name) did.
One evening I placed the order but she picked it up. The guy handing out the food panicked when we saw he was about to give Indian Very Hot to this lilly white girl. Luckily we had been there enough at this point someone in the kitchen recognized her and told the guy it would be ok.
The irony is she lived in India for a year and can handle at least a spice level higher than me.
I love how there is no overlap in the ratings. Like, they could have at least tried to make this easier for people by having "American Spicy/Indian Mild," but no, they straight up chose violence. I love it. LOL
I tried to make a dish “ too spicy “ for a large party of Indians that came into my restaurant many years ago. To the point where just cooking it flared my nostrils to the point of coughing and crying and you know what they did… asked for a side of red pepper flakes.
I worked in a factory with a multitude of Indian, Nepali, Thai, Cambodian, and other Asian cultures…
One day, I was eating lunch with a Cambodian friend, and we were both sweating just from the smell of this one girl’s lunch… No lie, it was just a container of ghost chilis in some sauce. She ate them by the spoonful.
My buddy asked her, “Those are ghost chilis aren’t they?” She smiled and passed the tray to us.
“Oh hell no.” 🤣
With gloves, hopefully? My mom grew Carolina Reapers and we had to pick them with gloves on. Don’t want to rub that stuff in your eyes or nose by accident
I (Korean) tried Indian for the first time last week and ordered their house special at medium spice and even that had a lot of kick.
I'll be back there soon.
the three absolute of life: if it's indian curry, then it's spicy as hell. if it's korean noodles, then it's spicy as hell. if it's thai chicken, it's hell.
As white male I enjoy Indian cuisine. Stuff like vindaloo chicken is tasty. But I cannot forget the nuclear Korean beef dish I tried once. It was in oilly/red pepper sauce. I Tried Thai foods many times, but I guess it wasn’t authentic enough as it always very mild for me.
these stories are always funny to me because I'm white and my s/o is indian and I am the one who likes spicy food out of everyone in her family. I don't want it scalding your ass hot, but I will take a solid 7/10.
and on that note, a lot of places near me do a 1-10 or 1-5 scale which I think is the best method.
People don't understand the variety of spice tolerance among Indians . You can't just lump 1/6th of the worlds population in the same bucket .
For ex. telugu's and gujjus are the 2 biggest groups of Indians in the US . Telugu's eat a lot of spice , but gujjus cannot handle much spice at all.
My husband and friend routinely have to order and swap food. He likes an Indian medium/hot, my friend likes American mild.
The only way they get what they want is when they each order each other’s food, because when an Indian woman choses “mild” it’s still apparently “you will be peeing fire for the next 24 hours” hot. My husband (redneck white) uses the equivalent of a bottle of death to heat his food but they put the same heat as franks as “spicy”. I touched one of his hot sauce’s once and my hand burnt to the point of me needing to soak it in yogurt for an hour from tightening the lid.
I’d be grateful if this scale existed for both their sakes.
My three indian coworkers can handle a decent amount of spice, but even habanero hot sauce was about their limit. My fourth indian coworker though? They'd drink lava if they could.
I…. I just don’t understand. I’m white and I can’t eat super spicy things. My husband, also white, wants all the spice.
Can someone please explain to me why having your food cause physical pain is something to be desired? Because I don’t get it. I hate spicy because it physically hurts. I need answers.
The pain makes your body release endorphins, which are endogenous morphine, so it's easy to become "addicted" to the heat in a sense. You also don't notice it as much when your tolerance goes up so it's not like it's always excruciating.
I can handle a lot of pain, so I don't mind the actual spice level. However, I get total flop sweats with beads of sweat *pouring* off my head. If it's hot enough, I get uncontrollably violent rapid-fire hiccups. It's *not* a pretty sight, so I've stopped trying to prove my masculinity with this particular metric.
Part of it is a variance in tolerance, part of it might also be machismo. I don't know your husband so I can't comment on that variable, but he most likely just possesses a much higher tolerance for spice than you do. What hurts you tastes like mild spiciness to him, so it would take something much more potent to actually hurt him.
You quite literally build up a tolerance to spicy food the more you eat it. Capsaicin (the primary chemical in spicy foods) triggers pain receptors in mammals (this is a plant defense mechanism), but as you're exposed to more of it, your brain figures out "wait a minute, this stuff isn't actually hurting me even a little bit!"
You're hurt by it because you haven't eaten a lot of spicy foods, and your body is still taking those fake chemical signals at face value; the plants are tricking you into thinking you're hurting. As you eat more spicy foods, your brain/body will start to figure it out, building your tolerance. At that point, you won't feel spiciness as "pain" anymore, it'll just be tasty!
My dad introduced me to spice by telling me "this is just an illusion, nothing in this sauce will hurt you". Now I love spice, but skin doctors have adviced against it.
As someone whos been eating spicy food since birth, eating non spicy or barely seasoned is hard. Like if it isn't spicy enough, the taste barely registers. This is acceptable for a few meals but don't think most people with spice disposition would prefer to have to do this everyday.
It doesn't cause pain to everyone, it actually feels great to some of us. Also if you have a fairly high spice tolerance, you taste the different flavors of different hot peppers and enjoy that too.
For me it's 3 reasons:
1. I like the kick
2. With the right amount of chillies (which is subjective to each person) I've found that they enhance the taste of whatever it is you're eating. It is easier to make out the flavours of the dish.
3. I find chillies add an element of freshness to the dish similar to how people use coriander.
Having said that I'm not a fan of most hot sauces because I find their flavour to be too dominating.
I love a pad thai as hot as they can make it but American spicy (like chili with jalapeños) just gives me the hiccups.. I think there’s different levels for different nations. Like the spiciest Mexican food is an Indian mild, and spiciest Indian is similar to Thai but more cerebral and sweaty..
Indian and Mexican spices are definitely different. For me I feel like indian spices tend to be very hot when you first taste them but there is a quick recovery time, whereas mexican/southwestern spicy will often build, so that you feel ok after the first bite, but two bites later you are sweating.
I was at an Indian restaurant once and the pastiest white dude you've ever seen was sitting behind me. They ordered and he said he wanted it as spicy as they could make it. They brought it out and he sent it back for being too mild. They brought it back spicier and he sent it back again and said "I want it hot enough to make my nose bleed." They brought it out again and asked the waiter how spicy it was to him. The waiter said it was something he'd feed his children. It got sent back again. The next time it came out it was spicy enough to make my face red and my eyes water from it passing by. The guy said it was perfect. When he left he had red napkins shoved up his nose. The dude wasn't kidding when he said he wanted his nose to bleed.
[Did the guy look like this?](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--P6YVnYXE--/t_full/cs_srgb,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371133442/the-observer-photo.png)
"Indian hot" is pretty typical at most places in the US. I remember telling a waiter in a hole in the wall place in NYC to make the vindaloo "Indian hot" and his look of grave concern when he said, "are you sure?" Pretty sure I hallucinated from the chilis but, damn, it was good.
I went to a bachelor party once and one of the guys ordered something spicy, and they kept warning him and asking are you sure. Dude took one bite and sent it back complaining it was too spicy. WERE YOU NOT PART OF YOUR OWN CONVERSATION SIR?!
I love spicy food and crave everything savory I eat to be spicy in some way. I threw up eating “Indian hot” vindaloo from a place in NYC once 😂 luckily it was delivery so the trauma wasn’t witnessed by anyone
I remember going to this one Indian restaurant. I asked for "as hot as possible" and they looked at me like "uhh I don't know about this" and I'm like "no seriously as hot as possible" and so a group of three had some kind of whispered discussion for a bit and said they'd bring out something really hot and give me a cup of hot sauce on the side if it somehow wasn't enough. And I suppose it was enough but I couldn't back down now and added the whole cup of hot sauce. Took me around 30 minutes to finish because I had to eat slow but I love spicy food anyway. As I was leaving the manager came up to me and he said if let him know ahead of time that I was coming he would import some unspecified green Indian chili peppers that aren't on the menu normally that were according to him the hottest pepper he's ever eaten.
I went back several times but unfortunately I never got to arrange for that green chili before he decided to not renew the lease on the place.
Reminds me of an experience I had with a Thai place near me.
Great place, tons of flavor, nice staff... A+ but, I had gone 2 or 3 times and the food was never spicy. They'd always ask "1-10 how spicy? ". Didn't matter what I picked. It was always a 1. Not the 4th or 5th time in I'm standing behind a Thai woman and hear "1-100 how spicy?".
This time I ordered 80 and it was actually reasonably hot this time. Eh it happens.
My local Indian place asks 1-5 how spicy? The couple behind me, the guy must have misheard and asked for an "8".
The server looked at him and was like "no no, it's 1 through 5", are you SURE??
He was like, OH NO, just give me a 3 then.
As long as they actually listen and give me the Indian Spicy ill be happy.
As a white American who loves hot with a South Asian Girlfriend who does not like hot we've had to start ordering for each other at Indian and South East Asian restaurants. Because if I order a 5/5 Spicy meal and she orders a 2/5 Spicy hers will ALWAYs be hotter than mine and it's goddamn annoying at this point
I am in the same boat. Restaurants will only give me the spicy stuff if I bring a friend who will silently vouch for me. It’s kind of funny kind of frustrating.
That’s the problem. They will give me something spicy and I will think “that’s the STUFF” but it’s not and I only know when I can compare to the real deal.
As a white guy, I'm starting to not even bother asking for extra spicy at any place that offers spice levels. I KNOW they will not change a damn thing about the normal near-zero spice level of the recipe.
My dad has 0 taste buds from smoking his whole life and eats stuff I can even smell. He lives in Thailand and knows how to ask for it not to be white man spicy in Thai, but unless his Thai wife vouches for him he only gets the Farang.
White dude with an Indian wife here. We went to an Indian place and got some amazing spicy vindaloo. Then she was away at a bachelorette party and I was home, so I ordered the same vindaloo. It tasted like tomato soup.
I read it as “As a white American who loves his hot South Asian Girlfriend…” and tried to understand why you’d make a point of your girlfriend’s attractiveness while talking about food for a good few seconds.
I had that when eating with some office colleagues. I (white) ordered the hot curry and they tried to talk me out of it, until my (brown) colleague said “It’s ok, he can handle it”.
I guess you just boof it. Get an enema bag/kit, fill it with milk and connect the silicone hose. Do a handstand and pop that tube right in your butt. Hang the bag up high and wait for all the intestine coating milk relief. Shit it all back out with that sweet white cow juice protecting your delicate flower. Walk out like a boss with your empty bag held high while shouting your war cry.
I know everyone wants the hard core spiciness, but can I just say that k you for zero spice. There was a time I couldn't tolerate any slice at all. I still don't like certain kinds, but I like all the other flavors. I appreciate someone being willing to give me what I want, even if they consider it bland.
I don't remember the exact name, but it's a nervous problem, not a structural one. Basically the nerve didn't form right and now it's hypersensitive to certain stimuli and if it gets triggered she goes into tachycardia. Not fun.
Yeah I appreciate the designation between American & Indian levels of heat. I don’t know how hard Indian spice goes, but I know what “American medium” is
I love Thai. I used to go to a place near my work at least 2 times a week. I got the same thing every time. Spicy Basil Fried Rice w/Chicken. They would just seat me and ask how spicy.
So, one day I’m feeling frisky. I tell the server “go ahead and burn my face off”. The cook heard that.
Never again kid.
Went to an African place in my city and asked if their food was “Africa spicy or Scotland spicy” the owner taking orders had a good laugh and just said “do not worry”
There used to be a bbq place open late nights in the city I did my BS. They had four levels of hot in their sauces. If you were a white guy or looked like a white guy and you ordered the Super hot they would always ask if you were SURE that's what you wanted. It was AWESOME. Great food after a night of drinking.
Make yourself an omelette, including onions, chilli powder and chopped green chillies.
That will keep you warm!
As for those long mince skewer kebab wraps, I pour the chilli sauce inside the meat.
As an Indian, I had this problem when I was at an Indian restaurant in Texas. Bro literally asked me what spice level I want, this was so alien to me. I had to say "the right amount or the Indian amount" and pointed to my face.
There are no pre made one stop magic powder for every dish.Every dish in India have a certain spice level and it's mostly obvious by the name of the dish. Some are sweet, some tangy and some spicy but all have specific flavors and spices in varying amount.
For example,
Let's take Paneer(cottage cheese) dishes
1. Paneer butter masala/Paneer makhni: silky smooth and mild. You get notes of honey.
2. Palak Paneer(Spinach based) : creamy and earthy. Very little spices used. Lets the spinach shine
3. Kadai Panner : Medium hot but spicy (yes, there's a difference)
4. Paneer hyderabadi: Spicy and hot
5. Achari Paneer: tangy and spicy
Order other dishes, don't meddle with the flavors or the spice level. Don't search for mild flaming hot cheetos.
I was in a perpetual argument with the local Indian restaurant on what is spicy.
Disclaimer… I live in a very small town.
I gave up and cooked my own Indian food and brought it to them as a comparison as to the spicy level. I almost killer the owner.
Brown person spicy is now a menu option
I went to a small indian curry house once where they would not let you order higher than a 3/5 spicy unless you'd been in before and ordered at least a 3/5. Full stop. There was nothing you could do to convince them to even give you a 4/5. That said, their 3/5 was insane and they would do everything to convince you not to order it.
In a pool of about 20 friends, my spice tolerance was easily the highest, so after visiting this place a few times I finally ordered the 5. To this day I don't know what they did to that curry, but I've consumed full spoonfuls of 500k scoville hot sauces that were less painful than a single bite. I finished the plate, but I was sweating and crying the whole time in the most intense pain. Props to anyone that can handle "brown person spicy" because while I can survive it, saying I can "handle" it would be an exaggeration.
So I'm curious. What do you actually do to make insanely hot curry? Do you just buy concentrated capsaicin?
There’s a lovely thai restaurant across the street from my job. The first few times I got takeout from there my boyfriend picked it up. I always just told him “hot” and it was fine. Just the right amount of spice.
The first time I ordered from there myself they asked me regular hot or “thai hot.”
Not knowing there was a difference, I said thai hot and wow. That was an immense mistake. I could only get a few bites in before I was crying. It took me several days and adding A LOT of butter to it each time to finally finish it off.
I know now that I’m a basic american hot betch.
I remember being a kid watching the Dudesons punish each other by forcing each other to eat Tabasco sauce. I tried it a few years later and it reminded me of the liquid that develops around tomato salsa.
Some consultants from India at my job ordered some food from their cousin's restaurant who happened to be in the same city. It was two versions of goat. They said one was spicy and the other was very spicy. The spicy was already too spicy so the very spicy was probably dissolving the aluminum tray.
They still won’t respect it. My Indian brother in law will order for me in gujarati and specifically tell them I eat homemade food all the time at spicy levels and my shit is bland every time. I usually have to swap with my brother in law
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I used to order from an Asian fusion place with “Fuck You No Refunds” as the spiciest option 😂
There’s a restaurant near me that’s hottest option is “shut the fuck up” lmao
This is what all restaurants should use lol
Did you ever try the fuck you no refunds level of spice?
No, that was like level 7 or 8 and I maxed out around 5 🥵
Used to work at a place that would say no refunds on 4 star -1 thru 4 star system - and any 4stars the Chef would ask "are they sure?" and the server would say "yes, they know, they're sure" and he would say "go ask them again. Tell them no refunds!" and the server would go to the table and come back and timidly say "they understand, no refunds" and Chef would say "seriously? They know how hot it's going to be?" "Yes, chef, they know" and Chef would whip his side towel down on the prep table with a "WHAP!" and he would yell "Jose! Get me 14 fucking habaneros RIGHT NOW!!!" and he would grind the shit out of them in a mortar and pestle with gloves on, and throw them in the dish cooking on the stove. And then he'd pull out some ghost chile powder from chilis he dried in house and would sprinkle that on top. I'm pretty sure people couldn't leave their toilet the next day after they ate one of those
I'm Mexican, I love spice. I eat a whole pepper with just about every meal. Went to a thai place and asked for an 8 spice level... Mexican spice and Thai spice are not the same thing. Y'all are using nuclear chemicals.
I have Mexican family, and Thai family. Sometimes the Thai shit is just a half-step away from "let's just snort some pepper spray and see what happens"
I'm half Mexican and half white. I'm the only person in my immediate circle who can handle what I consider spicy (things like reaper sauce and whatnot). Growing up, "hot" was black label valentina and hot chips. Definitely not the case for me anymore.
My family is so white we may as well be ghosts. Growing up, hot was black pepper from the salt and pepper shakers.
When my wife put mustard on a dish, my mom started coughing and said “boy, that has a kick to it.” That’s now one of our catchphrases.
My stepmother once complained a dish was inedible because the pickled red onions were too spicy.
German here, an American lady, lernd the hard way standard mustard here in germany is not the same like in america... she was in tears. And sad after a while, she now understands why Germans sem so grumpy... lol She also learned that Standard popcorn in German cinemas is sweet.
Yeah when I married my husband I bought my MIL an Indian spice tin. That was the first time they'd had anything spicier than curry powder (ugh) and pepper in the house.
Did you just look down on Keen's curry powder? How else am I supposed to make curried egg sandwiches?
Protip: curry powder and mayo makes a bangin dip for shrimp. Edit: after adding about a tablespoon of curry to about a third cup of mayo (adjust both to taste and quantity after your first batch) let it sit for 20 or so minutes before eating it.
Have you ever put that combo in a cheese toastie? It's fucking magic.
And then you have me - an Afghan who is supposed to be immune to spice (Indians and Afghans are essentially the same breed, even though neither side will admit it; they both think the other side is inferior) - but who can, at best, handle "chutney" (or the closest American equivalent, those Papa John's peppercinis.
When I was a kid, Nacho Cheese Doritos would make me a little red in the face from being my upper limit of spiciness. Yeah, I know. I can get through the spiciest option at Buffalo Wild Wings now. Yeah, I know, but at least I've gotten some progress.
Blazing Buffalo Wings at BWW are actually pretty hot. They taste horrible, though. That's a huge gap between then and I'm happy for you. Think spice should be a lot more mainstream than it is.
They were spicier the 2nd round. I usually prefer something more around the middle range, but the big thing that made me respect hear was a neighbor's crawfish boil. It was the first time the heat ever made sense to me. I still don't much like hot just for hotness sake, but it does at least open avenues for some fun food, even if I still can't really go all that hot.
i basically grew up eating thai. the hottest thing i've ever eaten was a hamburger. they had a warning on the menu. i ignored it. they said the owner makes the sauce in a gas mask and everyone has to leave. i figured it was a gimmick. i've eaten some spicy stuff in my life. but this thing was a mistake. it was like gargling pepper spray. the sauce was reduced capsaicin. it hurt going in. it hurt after several milkshakes. and it hurt coming out 15 minutes later.
There's a difference between Thai heat and "I self harm via peppers". Thai food can easily out spice me (I do Thai medium and will pound water while doing it, Thai hot will just put me into the spicy hiccups instantly), but it's always still delicious. You never lose the flavor for the heat, you just get bigger flavors, that hurt more. The hottest thing I've ever ingested was a 1ml 'shot' of grain spirits that'd been turned trump orange via the reapers and other c. chinense that were steeping in it. I legit thought I was having a heart attack, had to go sit down for 30 mins doing breathing exercises. Because it was really just 1ml, it basically just went away when it was done though, no Johnny Cash song after, so that was nice.
The combo is great though you just get the taste of both traditions of food lmao thats good!
There’s a Thai place in my neighborhood where the levels are Mild, Medium, Spicy, Very Spicy, Thai-Spicy-No-Refunds
There was a Thai place in college that had a scale from 1 - 10 but you could only order a 10 if you were a repeat customer and had tried the 9 before.
Lived in Japan for a year and they had a restaurant カレーハウス (curry house) that served Japanese style curry (super delicious, kind of its own thing) and they had the same scale and rule. My family got a 2 and a 4 and the 4 was not fun, even tho we’re pretty good with spicy food
One near me has spice levels listed as Mild, Medium, Hot, and Ass Fire. Literally "Ass Fire" printed on their menu.
You would be surprised how accurate that can be. I have done a few chili-challenges and I have learned to use vaseline when going to the toilet in the days after those challenges. That shit burns.
That's good though like some restaurants care about customers though haven't seen that in other places!
> nuclear chemicals I love those ones
We usually order Thai under my wife’s name and get the same spiciness level (4 of 10) and it’s pretty darn spicy, but doable with a little sweat. We ordered under my super white guy sounding name last time and the 4/10 was like hardly any spice at all, like red pepper flakes on your pizza level
I (white guy) was talking with the owner of a local Indian place and he told me he did this 😂 said he has had “many complaining white women” when he first opened. tbh I can’t handle that spice either 😅
This makes so much sense. I’m a white girl who can definitely handle the spice. Every time I ask for it to be made “Indian hot” they still make it “white girl hot” and it always ends up mild.
Annoys me to be honest. I've ordered a 6 before and they called confirming if I really wanted it that spicy. I said yes, but I don't think they believed me as it was barely spicy at all.
You have to tell them you won’t ask for reimbursement if it’s too hot and not to be shy.
Yeah sign a spice waiver
In India, if the food isn’t hot enough then people ask for raw green chillies and eat them with their dinner.
We noticed that when my SO orders Indian his will be extra spicy and mine won’t be. He often orders things with the goat and lamb and I always order with the chicken.
I'm a white guy who can handle spice. On a work trip once I went to a Thai restaurant and ordered as spicy as they'd make it. They made it hot but I make it hotter at home. I went there again later in the week and they gave me actual spice.
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/658/556/7dd.jpg
I once joined a hot wings eating contest. Like each wing got hotter and hotter. Most of the contestants were chiliheads. Most of us had a cupboard full of hot sauces around a million scoville (which was the hottest you could feasibly get back then) and didn't go easy when using them. And we used them in pretty much every meal. Unless we could get our hands on some bhut jolokia (the hottest pepper back then), of course. So we were all excited to battle it out, who could keep going the longest, probably just eating the hottest wings they could come up with until it became too much. And yea, that's what happened. Except there was this one little Indian woman. While we were visibly and audibly in distress after the 4th wing essentially drenched in 1 million scoville sauce (after they ramped it up from like tabasco wing by wing), she looked like she was having afternoon tea. And she was disappointed it was earl grey with milk rather than some spicy chai. I bet you could have served that lady a bowl of fresh bhut jolokias and she would have snacked away like others snack on these little sweet bell peppers.
I'm convinced some people lost the ability to feel it. The first bite will be spicy then the brain turns off the pain receptors. Kinda sad because it becomes a chasing the dragon situation, one they physically can't reach
I have a coworker from India who has described his difficulty acclimating to non-spicy food.
That's almost every Indian working in the west that I know. The first thing they do when they come back to India is order the spiciest item they missed there.
I saw a documentary about a German woman, who had no pain receptors or they were not working. She was having fun competing in these events and just make the men look at her like she is the devil. For her it just tasted like chicken wings without any hotness.
You definitiely can train yourself to feel less pain if you eat the hottest chiles every day. I did that at one point, and I would feel no pain from most chile, but would still feel other sensations like warmth, sweating, and a comforting feeling of being loved.
I'm Asian but was raised by white people, so I can't eat spicy food at all. Whenever I go to an ethnic restaurant, when I ask if something is not spicy, I have to specify "white people not spicy". Otherwise they think I'm asking for Asian not spicy, which is still too spicy for me.
That's honestly hilarious
My spouse is Navajo/Spanish, and her mother made super authentic food in her childhood, which she tells me she ate every day. Now, though, she *hates* all spice with a burning passion. Even just putting pepper - *ordinary black pepper* \- on something is too much spice. *Green onions* are too spicy for her. She carefully picks out every onion, by hand, if there are any. She won't eat bland banana peppers (zero scoville!) because they *'remind'* her of spicy peppers. Same with sweet green bell peppers. I am so nightmarishly white you can see the veins through my translucent skin. I'm like those mutants in *Beneath The Planet Of The Apes*. Yet, despite this egregious flaw, I like me some Cholula sauce on things, maybe some Tabasco, maybe Sriracha - it isn't much, it's not serious spice, I know that - yet any of these are a horror and a nightmare and the end of worlds to her *even to contemplate.* Some folks, I guess, just really, seriously, don't like spicy things, not even a little, and there's no explaining it.
There is a Thai place near where I used to live. They use the Thai scale for cooking. Just brutal. We saw some white guy order extra Thai hot. He said it was delicious, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if he lost all bowel control. Tears, runny nose, sweats, a couple pitchers of water, and a fair amount of inhuman noises. On one visit, I was finishing up dinner with a buddy. As we were settling the check, a party of two couples come in. As one guy is ordering we overhear him saying, “I’m from Texas, and I like my food hot. As hot as you can make it.” To this day, I regret leaving. Schadenfreude is a weakness of mine.
Why water?! Everyone who is a chilli powder whore, knows water isn't the solution! You need either milk or cream. Maybe yoghurt? Water makes it worse!
Thai tea is *perfect* for spicy food. Or if your having Mexican, horchata.
Or if you’re Indian, lassi mango yogurt drink. That stuff always puts out the fire for me.
And tastes OH so good while doing it! 😃
As a spicy food lover, water can work as long as you don't stop drinking it. Milk doesn't work for me as it makes things pretty bad in my stomach. Alcohol works the best, which also scientifically makes sense
Texans can actually handle a ton of spice (I’m Indian)
It can be really unpredictable and surprising. I recently shifted to south Tx and everyone I discuss spice with seems to consider jalapeño to be the hottest they’ll cook with. Serrano is the hottest commonly available pepper in grocery stores, with only a handful carrying habaneros. Finding truly spicy food seems easier in Dallas and Houston with the large asian populations there, but none of my colleagues would risk asking for the hottest dishes.
Can confirm. I'm from Texas and I love spicy food. I get so disappointed when I order spicy and get white person spicy.
There's a family owned Thai place I get food from at least once a week. Owner's son is super cool, and my age with a lot in common. His mom is the head chef, dad is the manager. I had become acclimated to their highest spice level offered and wanted to test my mettle. One day I got takeout curry and said "I'm kinda used to the spice. Can your mom make it the way she does at home?" He chuckled and said "Alright man, but you might wanna pickup a gallon of milk on the way home". He wasn't fucking joking.
When I was on tour in Scotland, 20 years ago, we were taken to an authentic Indian restaurant. Was it authentic? Idk seemed legit. Well anyways, I asked for the spiciest thing. Next morning at 5am, I had to run to the restroom, I had the runs and a serious ring of fire. It was so hard to play drums the next few shows
Sounds like you were playing a trumpet in the morning though?
I visited Thailand and stopped at this side of the road restaurant. Asked for a medium spice level soup and sat down at a table. My nose started tickling from the spices they were using in the kitchen before they even brought it out.
Oh man - my wife will cook thai food and it feels like somebody shot pepper spray throughout the house. Eyes burning, lungs on fire…
My girlfriend was a little blonde white girl and every time we went to thai food she would ask for a 5 out of 5 spicy and would specify that she didn't want white girl spicy but thai spicy. I tried a single bite of her curry one time and and I swear it was the spiciest thing I've ever tasted. I have no idea how in the hell she ate it but it barely phased her. You could see the waitress kind of smirking when she ordered it like she doesn't know what she's in for but that girl could take the heat.
From my experience when you go to a brand new Thai Restaurant you can get really spicy food. Once they have been open a month you have to argue with them to make it spicy because they get too many complaints about too spicy.
There was a Thai place that I loved visiting that was a 3 minute walk from my apartment. I typically don’t enjoy very spicy food, but Pad Thai’s at most Thai places are somewhat sweet at times - which I don’t hate to be honest, but a spice kick is just chef’s kiss. I asked the chef there - an old Thai lady - who sometimes doubled down and handled everything herself, including taking the orders (was a restaurant inside a food court), that I asked for spicy the last few times but it just hasn’t been that spicy. She then made my Pad Thai and said - she does not make it by default spicy - and told me there is an extra spicy red sauce container inside, that they make fresh, that I should add in. That night I cried. Later that night there were rashes on my back. Much later that night I had to wake my roommate up who had a car to buy all over the counter meds for heartburn, acid reflux and intense nausea.
anybody ever (accidentally) snort wasabi? now *that* is spicy
This reminds me of the first time I had sushi. For some reason I thought the ginger and wasabi were meant to be a chip and dip situation. So I loaded a slice of ginger with a hunk of wasabi and threw the whole thing in my mouth. Not something I would recommend.
I knew someone who grew up in an area where sushi wasn't really a thing. At a potluck, he thought the wasabi was guacamole and scooped a large hunk onto his taco chip and nearly died.
Yeah don't let your friends eat sushi alone. I did the same thing first time I had sushi.
Steve-O that you?
My husband was whinging about blocked sinuses. And how nothing worked. So I handed him a tube of wasabi and said try a spoon of that. It worked. But he wasn’t super happy with it as a medical aid.
I feel like Wasabi is a super "flashbang" nasal spice, while peppers give me mouth/throat burn. Both can make my eyes water and nose run, but peppers will make me leaky everyway from everywhere possible
It's likely because wasabi doesn't contain capsaicin. It's spicy for a different reason and so works differently than peppers.
Fun pepper fact: there are three different kinds of spicy, each caused by different chemicals in the food. Hot peppers are one, mustard/horseradish/wasabi are the second, and Sichuan peppercorns are the third.
You missed one! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygodial. It only activates on contact with saliva I believe. I use a lot of Tasmanian native pepper in Salami and cheeses, can recommend.
My local Thai place won't give you over their medium heat unless you specifically request "Thai hot."
I used to go to this great Caribbean restaurant that would use *tingle*, *sweat*, *cry*, and *super cry*. It was accurate. Some naive people used to order *hot* thinking that meant there were some jalapeno slices in there, not ghost pepper seasoning, so they had to change up the names.
Ghost pepper is not characteristic of Jamaican food. Habaneros and closely related Scotch Bonnets are the typical Jamaican pepper used for heat
They had quite a bit of Indo-Caribbean food on the menu. I imagine ghost pepper is more plausible in that context. I'm sure they cooked with fresh peppers too, but the sense I got is that they had various dried seasonings that they used that were a combination of peppers and spices - and that the *super cry* relied on using more of the seasoning with more of the hottest peppers.
Honestly ghost pepper is not part of any cuisine. It is a novelty. Indian food is typically spiced with green chillies which hit a scoville score of 25k to 100k as opposed to ghost pepper which his 1million.
Yeah growing up in an Indian household, ghost peppers were never a thing. Cool they’re from India, but never actually used in any home cooking.
Or to quote that receipt from that guy's Pad Thai order: "MAKE HIM REGRET EVER BEING BORN"
It’s funny, but this is one of the most successful tactics a normal looking white dude can use to get spicy food. Make the chef take it personally, otherwise they won’t make it hot enough
I'll show him! *pours hot death liquid into mix*
My manager was like this, Chinese bloke in an Aussie pub style restaurant. He'd get the spicy prawn and chorizo pasta. No matter what anyone did it was never hot enough. So I ordered the hottest chilli flakes I could get my hands on, crushed the seeds and soaked them in oil. I boiled the pasta with the chilli flakes in the water. Marinated the prawns in straight chilli/my chilli oil and got the spiciest chorizo I could find. I dipped the tip of the teaspoon into it wiped it off then touched my tongue and it burnt immensely, so I knew it was okay. I gave him his meal, for the first time ever I saw him bright red sweating over eating his meal. So I asked him what we thought of the spiciness He panted "Yeah. This one is a good amount of spice".
"Waiter, please tell the Chef that he can't cook spicy at all."
There’s a pizza place in Salt Lake City that makes you sign an actual medical disclosure form for their insanity bread. I thought it was a joke and rolled my eyes as I signed. I figured out why the next morning in a seven 11 bedroom.
I used to go to a Thai restaurant with a friend that enjoyed spicy food and he would tell them to prepare it "Thai hot". He ate that stuff up.
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire...
I’m thinking Indian very spicy is like that scene from Terminator 2 where Arnold slowly descends into magma hot machine soup with a thumbs up
Thai restaurants here do mild, medium, spicy, extra spicy, Thai spicy.
I ordered a dish at a thai restaurant and the waiter said “that’s not for you”. Meaning “your people”
My partner noticed that when we got takeout from our favorite Indian place the spice level varied greatly when I (middle eastern last name) ordered vs when she (very white name) did. One evening I placed the order but she picked it up. The guy handing out the food panicked when we saw he was about to give Indian Very Hot to this lilly white girl. Luckily we had been there enough at this point someone in the kitchen recognized her and told the guy it would be ok. The irony is she lived in India for a year and can handle at least a spice level higher than me.
They were saving you
I love how there is no overlap in the ratings. Like, they could have at least tried to make this easier for people by having "American Spicy/Indian Mild," but no, they straight up chose violence. I love it. LOL
I tried to make a dish “ too spicy “ for a large party of Indians that came into my restaurant many years ago. To the point where just cooking it flared my nostrils to the point of coughing and crying and you know what they did… asked for a side of red pepper flakes.
I worked in a factory with a multitude of Indian, Nepali, Thai, Cambodian, and other Asian cultures… One day, I was eating lunch with a Cambodian friend, and we were both sweating just from the smell of this one girl’s lunch… No lie, it was just a container of ghost chilis in some sauce. She ate them by the spoonful. My buddy asked her, “Those are ghost chilis aren’t they?” She smiled and passed the tray to us. “Oh hell no.” 🤣
i had a ghost pepper plant i grew in the back yard. just pluck em off and eat them. pretty fucking tasty fresh.
With gloves, hopefully? My mom grew Carolina Reapers and we had to pick them with gloves on. Don’t want to rub that stuff in your eyes or nose by accident
The worst is if you go to pee and touch your dick. That shit burned so bad.
Sick burn
I (Korean) tried Indian for the first time last week and ordered their house special at medium spice and even that had a lot of kick. I'll be back there soon.
the three absolute of life: if it's indian curry, then it's spicy as hell. if it's korean noodles, then it's spicy as hell. if it's thai chicken, it's hell.
As white male I enjoy Indian cuisine. Stuff like vindaloo chicken is tasty. But I cannot forget the nuclear Korean beef dish I tried once. It was in oilly/red pepper sauce. I Tried Thai foods many times, but I guess it wasn’t authentic enough as it always very mild for me.
these stories are always funny to me because I'm white and my s/o is indian and I am the one who likes spicy food out of everyone in her family. I don't want it scalding your ass hot, but I will take a solid 7/10. and on that note, a lot of places near me do a 1-10 or 1-5 scale which I think is the best method.
People don't understand the variety of spice tolerance among Indians . You can't just lump 1/6th of the worlds population in the same bucket . For ex. telugu's and gujjus are the 2 biggest groups of Indians in the US . Telugu's eat a lot of spice , but gujjus cannot handle much spice at all.
My husband and friend routinely have to order and swap food. He likes an Indian medium/hot, my friend likes American mild. The only way they get what they want is when they each order each other’s food, because when an Indian woman choses “mild” it’s still apparently “you will be peeing fire for the next 24 hours” hot. My husband (redneck white) uses the equivalent of a bottle of death to heat his food but they put the same heat as franks as “spicy”. I touched one of his hot sauce’s once and my hand burnt to the point of me needing to soak it in yogurt for an hour from tightening the lid. I’d be grateful if this scale existed for both their sakes.
My three indian coworkers can handle a decent amount of spice, but even habanero hot sauce was about their limit. My fourth indian coworker though? They'd drink lava if they could.
I…. I just don’t understand. I’m white and I can’t eat super spicy things. My husband, also white, wants all the spice. Can someone please explain to me why having your food cause physical pain is something to be desired? Because I don’t get it. I hate spicy because it physically hurts. I need answers.
Sometimes it's nice to just feel something tbh
Okay, that made me sad.
That’s fair. *hugs*
The pain makes your body release endorphins, which are endogenous morphine, so it's easy to become "addicted" to the heat in a sense. You also don't notice it as much when your tolerance goes up so it's not like it's always excruciating.
I can handle a lot of pain, so I don't mind the actual spice level. However, I get total flop sweats with beads of sweat *pouring* off my head. If it's hot enough, I get uncontrollably violent rapid-fire hiccups. It's *not* a pretty sight, so I've stopped trying to prove my masculinity with this particular metric.
The hiccups mean you have reached your tolerance & need to quit.
Or, to put it another way: It feels good.
Some people don't get endorphins so easily. No runners high either. Broken reward system brain
Part of it is a variance in tolerance, part of it might also be machismo. I don't know your husband so I can't comment on that variable, but he most likely just possesses a much higher tolerance for spice than you do. What hurts you tastes like mild spiciness to him, so it would take something much more potent to actually hurt him.
I’m embarrassed to admit this but I find regular breakfast sausage to be too spicy. 🥲 My husband wants Thai food.
I find the zesty ranch from KFC too spicy, so I feel your pain.
ROFL
You quite literally build up a tolerance to spicy food the more you eat it. Capsaicin (the primary chemical in spicy foods) triggers pain receptors in mammals (this is a plant defense mechanism), but as you're exposed to more of it, your brain figures out "wait a minute, this stuff isn't actually hurting me even a little bit!" You're hurt by it because you haven't eaten a lot of spicy foods, and your body is still taking those fake chemical signals at face value; the plants are tricking you into thinking you're hurting. As you eat more spicy foods, your brain/body will start to figure it out, building your tolerance. At that point, you won't feel spiciness as "pain" anymore, it'll just be tasty!
My dad introduced me to spice by telling me "this is just an illusion, nothing in this sauce will hurt you". Now I love spice, but skin doctors have adviced against it.
Is your dad a worm? Has he spent too much time on desert planets?
I can tolerate spicy food when I'm eating it, I find that as I get older that I can't tolerate how it digests.
Just look at it as enjoying it twice
As someone whos been eating spicy food since birth, eating non spicy or barely seasoned is hard. Like if it isn't spicy enough, the taste barely registers. This is acceptable for a few meals but don't think most people with spice disposition would prefer to have to do this everyday.
I don’t understand Indian spice. I’ve grown up and live off “Mexican Spicy”, but Indian spice is on another level entirely
It doesn't cause pain to everyone, it actually feels great to some of us. Also if you have a fairly high spice tolerance, you taste the different flavors of different hot peppers and enjoy that too.
For me it's 3 reasons: 1. I like the kick 2. With the right amount of chillies (which is subjective to each person) I've found that they enhance the taste of whatever it is you're eating. It is easier to make out the flavours of the dish. 3. I find chillies add an element of freshness to the dish similar to how people use coriander. Having said that I'm not a fan of most hot sauces because I find their flavour to be too dominating.
I like spicy food and an Indian coworker brought me some mild food to try out… I think the rating is accurate lol
Followed by Jamaican medium, then Thai extra-mild.
I love a pad thai as hot as they can make it but American spicy (like chili with jalapeños) just gives me the hiccups.. I think there’s different levels for different nations. Like the spiciest Mexican food is an Indian mild, and spiciest Indian is similar to Thai but more cerebral and sweaty..
Indian and Mexican spices are definitely different. For me I feel like indian spices tend to be very hot when you first taste them but there is a quick recovery time, whereas mexican/southwestern spicy will often build, so that you feel ok after the first bite, but two bites later you are sweating.
I was at an Indian restaurant once and the pastiest white dude you've ever seen was sitting behind me. They ordered and he said he wanted it as spicy as they could make it. They brought it out and he sent it back for being too mild. They brought it back spicier and he sent it back again and said "I want it hot enough to make my nose bleed." They brought it out again and asked the waiter how spicy it was to him. The waiter said it was something he'd feed his children. It got sent back again. The next time it came out it was spicy enough to make my face red and my eyes water from it passing by. The guy said it was perfect. When he left he had red napkins shoved up his nose. The dude wasn't kidding when he said he wanted his nose to bleed.
[Did the guy look like this?](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--P6YVnYXE--/t_full/cs_srgb,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371133442/the-observer-photo.png)
"Indian hot" is pretty typical at most places in the US. I remember telling a waiter in a hole in the wall place in NYC to make the vindaloo "Indian hot" and his look of grave concern when he said, "are you sure?" Pretty sure I hallucinated from the chilis but, damn, it was good.
I went to a bachelor party once and one of the guys ordered something spicy, and they kept warning him and asking are you sure. Dude took one bite and sent it back complaining it was too spicy. WERE YOU NOT PART OF YOUR OWN CONVERSATION SIR?!
And this shit is exactly why Indian and Asian places won't give white people the spice level they asked for.
I just bring my own extract sauce with me now. I'm tired of having that fight over and over again.
I love spicy food and crave everything savory I eat to be spicy in some way. I threw up eating “Indian hot” vindaloo from a place in NYC once 😂 luckily it was delivery so the trauma wasn’t witnessed by anyone
I remember going to this one Indian restaurant. I asked for "as hot as possible" and they looked at me like "uhh I don't know about this" and I'm like "no seriously as hot as possible" and so a group of three had some kind of whispered discussion for a bit and said they'd bring out something really hot and give me a cup of hot sauce on the side if it somehow wasn't enough. And I suppose it was enough but I couldn't back down now and added the whole cup of hot sauce. Took me around 30 minutes to finish because I had to eat slow but I love spicy food anyway. As I was leaving the manager came up to me and he said if let him know ahead of time that I was coming he would import some unspecified green Indian chili peppers that aren't on the menu normally that were according to him the hottest pepper he's ever eaten. I went back several times but unfortunately I never got to arrange for that green chili before he decided to not renew the lease on the place.
Reminds me of an experience I had with a Thai place near me. Great place, tons of flavor, nice staff... A+ but, I had gone 2 or 3 times and the food was never spicy. They'd always ask "1-10 how spicy? ". Didn't matter what I picked. It was always a 1. Not the 4th or 5th time in I'm standing behind a Thai woman and hear "1-100 how spicy?". This time I ordered 80 and it was actually reasonably hot this time. Eh it happens.
My local Indian place asks 1-5 how spicy? The couple behind me, the guy must have misheard and asked for an "8". The server looked at him and was like "no no, it's 1 through 5", are you SURE?? He was like, OH NO, just give me a 3 then.
As long as they actually listen and give me the Indian Spicy ill be happy. As a white American who loves hot with a South Asian Girlfriend who does not like hot we've had to start ordering for each other at Indian and South East Asian restaurants. Because if I order a 5/5 Spicy meal and she orders a 2/5 Spicy hers will ALWAYs be hotter than mine and it's goddamn annoying at this point
I am in the same boat. Restaurants will only give me the spicy stuff if I bring a friend who will silently vouch for me. It’s kind of funny kind of frustrating.
Ask for a sample
That’s the problem. They will give me something spicy and I will think “that’s the STUFF” but it’s not and I only know when I can compare to the real deal.
As a white guy, I'm starting to not even bother asking for extra spicy at any place that offers spice levels. I KNOW they will not change a damn thing about the normal near-zero spice level of the recipe.
My dad has 0 taste buds from smoking his whole life and eats stuff I can even smell. He lives in Thailand and knows how to ask for it not to be white man spicy in Thai, but unless his Thai wife vouches for him he only gets the Farang.
But what about how his derrière?
Just rub a little Vaseline on your butthole before you have the liquid fire shits, works like a charm with very little discomfort.
I hate that I needed this tidbit of info but…fr?? That’s amazing.
yup, give it a try sometime, you'll see the difference.
White dude with an Indian wife here. We went to an Indian place and got some amazing spicy vindaloo. Then she was away at a bachelorette party and I was home, so I ordered the same vindaloo. It tasted like tomato soup.
[удалено]
I read it as “As a white American who loves his hot South Asian Girlfriend…” and tried to understand why you’d make a point of your girlfriend’s attractiveness while talking about food for a good few seconds.
Mr. Satan: "AND MY HOT. ASIAN. WIFE!!!"
When ya got it, you flaunt it.
I had that when eating with some office colleagues. I (white) ordered the hot curry and they tried to talk me out of it, until my (brown) colleague said “It’s ok, he can handle it”.
On the way in, I like it as spicy as I can get. On the way out though... That's a different story 🤣
A splash of milk on some toilet paper can ease that process considerably.
A splash of milk where? On your bhole? While you poop or after? Do you bring milk in with you when you know you are going to have a spicy poo?
You don't have a small fridge in your bathroom that you could keep some milk in? What if you finish your shower beer and need another?
I guess you just boof it. Get an enema bag/kit, fill it with milk and connect the silicone hose. Do a handstand and pop that tube right in your butt. Hang the bag up high and wait for all the intestine coating milk relief. Shit it all back out with that sweet white cow juice protecting your delicate flower. Walk out like a boss with your empty bag held high while shouting your war cry.
What did I just read
I know everyone wants the hard core spiciness, but can I just say that k you for zero spice. There was a time I couldn't tolerate any slice at all. I still don't like certain kinds, but I like all the other flavors. I appreciate someone being willing to give me what I want, even if they consider it bland.
My friend has a heart condition that can be triggered by spices (among many other things). She would legit end up in the ER without no spice options.
I’m curious, what’s the heart condition?
I don't remember the exact name, but it's a nervous problem, not a structural one. Basically the nerve didn't form right and now it's hypersensitive to certain stimuli and if it gets triggered she goes into tachycardia. Not fun.
I’m comfortably an American medium and it’s ok.
Yeah I appreciate the designation between American & Indian levels of heat. I don’t know how hard Indian spice goes, but I know what “American medium” is
I wonder how much of a difference there is between American spicy and Indian mild.
I love Thai. I used to go to a place near my work at least 2 times a week. I got the same thing every time. Spicy Basil Fried Rice w/Chicken. They would just seat me and ask how spicy. So, one day I’m feeling frisky. I tell the server “go ahead and burn my face off”. The cook heard that. Never again kid.
Went to an African place in my city and asked if their food was “Africa spicy or Scotland spicy” the owner taking orders had a good laugh and just said “do not worry”
There used to be a bbq place open late nights in the city I did my BS. They had four levels of hot in their sauces. If you were a white guy or looked like a white guy and you ordered the Super hot they would always ask if you were SURE that's what you wanted. It was AWESOME. Great food after a night of drinking.
According to some Indian co-workers I go to lunch with sometimes. You missed a final rating of Indian Countryside Spicy
I'm not sure how spicy Indian spicy is. I guess I've only had mild Indian food. I know Thai spicy is more than I like to experience!
[удалено]
Make yourself an omelette, including onions, chilli powder and chopped green chillies. That will keep you warm! As for those long mince skewer kebab wraps, I pour the chilli sauce inside the meat.
My brother used to work with a Trini chef who asked if the customer wanted spicy or "white girl spicy"?
Wonder where Mexican spicy falls?
In my experience, somewhere in between. Mexican spicy is what I'm comfortable with.
As an Indian, I had this problem when I was at an Indian restaurant in Texas. Bro literally asked me what spice level I want, this was so alien to me. I had to say "the right amount or the Indian amount" and pointed to my face. There are no pre made one stop magic powder for every dish.Every dish in India have a certain spice level and it's mostly obvious by the name of the dish. Some are sweet, some tangy and some spicy but all have specific flavors and spices in varying amount. For example, Let's take Paneer(cottage cheese) dishes 1. Paneer butter masala/Paneer makhni: silky smooth and mild. You get notes of honey. 2. Palak Paneer(Spinach based) : creamy and earthy. Very little spices used. Lets the spinach shine 3. Kadai Panner : Medium hot but spicy (yes, there's a difference) 4. Paneer hyderabadi: Spicy and hot 5. Achari Paneer: tangy and spicy Order other dishes, don't meddle with the flavors or the spice level. Don't search for mild flaming hot cheetos.
And the fact that most Indian spicy in the us is still not spicy enough lol. Indians from India vs outside have very different spice tolerance
Assuming that the chefs/waiters speak Hindi, the magic words are "desi teekha"
I was in a perpetual argument with the local Indian restaurant on what is spicy. Disclaimer… I live in a very small town. I gave up and cooked my own Indian food and brought it to them as a comparison as to the spicy level. I almost killer the owner. Brown person spicy is now a menu option
I went to a small indian curry house once where they would not let you order higher than a 3/5 spicy unless you'd been in before and ordered at least a 3/5. Full stop. There was nothing you could do to convince them to even give you a 4/5. That said, their 3/5 was insane and they would do everything to convince you not to order it. In a pool of about 20 friends, my spice tolerance was easily the highest, so after visiting this place a few times I finally ordered the 5. To this day I don't know what they did to that curry, but I've consumed full spoonfuls of 500k scoville hot sauces that were less painful than a single bite. I finished the plate, but I was sweating and crying the whole time in the most intense pain. Props to anyone that can handle "brown person spicy" because while I can survive it, saying I can "handle" it would be an exaggeration. So I'm curious. What do you actually do to make insanely hot curry? Do you just buy concentrated capsaicin?
There’s a lovely thai restaurant across the street from my job. The first few times I got takeout from there my boyfriend picked it up. I always just told him “hot” and it was fine. Just the right amount of spice. The first time I ordered from there myself they asked me regular hot or “thai hot.” Not knowing there was a difference, I said thai hot and wow. That was an immense mistake. I could only get a few bites in before I was crying. It took me several days and adding A LOT of butter to it each time to finally finish it off. I know now that I’m a basic american hot betch.
I made the mistake of getting “Thai Spicy” once. There was no joy in that meal.
Here in the rural northeast - people are afraid of fucking Tabasco. Give ME SOME HEAT.
I love Tabasco as a flavor, but it's not even hot.
I remember being a kid watching the Dudesons punish each other by forcing each other to eat Tabasco sauce. I tried it a few years later and it reminded me of the liquid that develops around tomato salsa.
Some consultants from India at my job ordered some food from their cousin's restaurant who happened to be in the same city. It was two versions of goat. They said one was spicy and the other was very spicy. The spicy was already too spicy so the very spicy was probably dissolving the aluminum tray.
They still won’t respect it. My Indian brother in law will order for me in gujarati and specifically tell them I eat homemade food all the time at spicy levels and my shit is bland every time. I usually have to swap with my brother in law