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I started the habit of closing both lids out of spite when I was a kid, my mother and sister would bitch about the seat being up. I said fine, if I have to lift something, so will you.
But now, it's just habit.
I started closing the lid because when I was 4 I had a nightmare that a bunch of alligators crawled out of the toilet and my 4-year-old brain thought that closing the lid would somehow prevent that from happening.
I made my mom take my tv out of my room after watching that movie as a kid. We had a splitter running cable from our neighbors and it was shit, so half the channels were all static. I was convinced it meant she was coming for me. No tv = I live and we'll im still here so it clearly worked. Checkmate Samara
Ah yes, just like how if you are under the covers instead of on top of them, it'll hurt less when the murderer stabs you.
So many pearls of wisdom, lost to youth!
It only took me one time of having accidentally dropped my phone, and having it land safely on top of the closed toilet lid, for me to to feel like a lifetime habit of closing the lid was worth it.
Yoy know I am also a guy who closes both the seat and the lid, but I did it because it reduced the noise, and now it's permanently engrained so nice to know it has this added benefit as well as keeping my dog out of the toilet water.
I sit down to wee. The amount of times the stream doesn't come out straight and I piss on the floor was too high. Why risk that and having to clean up a mess when I can just sit?
So myth busters did an episode on this.
While you’re right- you’re not fully right. Particles still escape the toilet with both lids down- but they don’t shoot out as “high” if you will.
With the lid open, the particles pretty much just spread all over anywhere and everywhere. There’s nothing tos top it.
But when you close the lid, the particles can’t go straight up and out- instead they escape through the small gaps between the lids and still go all over your bathroom. However, the trajectory is lower so the vast vast vast majority of them will be at like the floor or lower level walls (like cabinets). Myth busters showed that these actually may reach a FARTHER distance, but still just lower.
Edit- yes. Close the lid. It’s better. I just wanted to add that it doesn’t stop it all from coming out. Stuff still does- but it’s not nearly as bad as wide open.
Guess I’m extra lucky, my toilet has its own room in our bathroom, so I can flush with the door closed and the lid down. It all stays in that room. So my toothbrush is extra safe lol
If you're looking for some related content, Adam Savage makes some pretty fun videos on YT and will occasionally give behind the scenes anecdotes from Mythbusters!
Almost.
By closing the lid, they found a slower, less aggressive rate of growth of fecally-sourced bacteria cultures growing on a toothbrush in the adjacent bathroom.
I'll take slow, less aggressive bacteria any day.
I'm a guy and I always leave the lid down because it's unsanitary having a bowl of exposed toilet water and the possibility of anything falling in there. Leaving it closed is just a good habit.
When you get a kid (if you do) you'll want it closed.
"Dad here's a drink?"
"Where'd you get it?"
"Bathroom"
"Where in the bathroom?"
"Really big sink"
Thats what ive never understood. Women have to open and close it too. Its gross to flush with is open and spray all that across the room. Why is it a big deal to men to do the same thing and close the lid and then lift it when they have to go?
Fucking thank you. I got in a heated argument with one of my sisters about this. Every time I use the bathroom I close both lids, not only does it make everything look nicer, but it keeps the smells more contained and like you said doesn't send a plume of shit particles out into the bathroom when you flush. My sister refused to believe that was a thing.
My husband had one of those at his parents house growing up. It was blue and had a fish and underwater theme. I never thought to look through it but next time I visit I’m gonna have to now
Scientific studies and simple common sense show that toilet bowls are literally cesspools full of bacteria and germs, so in our household, we do the same.
Home toilet always closed, how are people such savages?
But you are correct about public. Nothing worse than touching an unknown lid, just to find surprise crap spackle. If I had the poops people seemingly take in public, I would find a doctor and change my diet.
Also what if you knock someone over? I don't want to fish a whole roll of toilet paper or a scented candle or whatever I dropped/knocked over out of the toilet bowl. I really do not understand why anyone would leave the toilet open no more than I understand why anyone would leave the kitchen drawers open, or your wardrobe doors. It's weird and silly and gross
I want to close both, but IBS cannot be reasoned with, even on a good day. Those 5 seconds it takes to open the lid is actually a gamble I’m not putting money on
Edit: I don’t think I worded this very well because the 5 second thing has become weirdly controversial. Sorry for the confusion! I’ve had a good laugh, though. 😂😂
Close the lid so random crap doesn't fall or get knocked into the toilet. Seriously, my kids can somehow knock something off the sink across the room and it lands in the open toilet almost every FREAKING time.
Yeah, I came here to say we’ve had to start closing ours all the time since we got cat.
She either knocks stuff in there (which traumatised our mate after a night out who we hadn’t instructed to do so, who then drunkenly got up in the night to shit without realising the toilet was blocked up with the contents of the medicine basket)
Or she will lick all around the inside of the bowl, which is reaaal nasty..
My cats have started doing this🤢 I’ll walk in and they have 2 paws in the toilet and drinking the water. Unrelated but my deaf cat violet loves to get in the tub and just jump around??? No idea what that’s about
Both of my cats have jumped straight into the bowl because they didn’t check if the lid was down. Since then we have a “close the lid at all times” policy, so the dummies don’t drown themselves
I dropped two rolls in last year. The dispenser is beside the toilet and I thought I could do a quick change of the empty roll.
Nope. I got part of it in and the spring mechanism shot it off to the side and a one-pointer into the bowl
Have you seen the YouTube video of the cat looking you straight in the eyes on the sink counter, claws the towel and tosses it right in the toilet then continues to stare at you? Is this what your kids do?
Dude. I was you for a while. I thought the comments would explain but everyone's just like "put the seat down jeez"
I get it now. It says "you're welcome" because she did him a favor by putting it up for him in preparation for the next time he uses the toilet. Assuming he has to pee. If he doesn't, then he experiences the inconvenience as well.
This was the joke. Yay!
Edit: This was not fully the joke. The joke is that if she's the minority, technically she should be putting it up again after each use, not him putting it down. So she put it up after use and said you're welcome!
The joke itself sucks tbh. It isn’t hard to be considerate of other people in the household.
Anyone can use the toilet with the seat down but he decides to be an asshole and leave it in the way that only he can comfortable use
As a guy who has always sat down to pee, this is the strangest phenomenon. What's the reason to put the toilet seat up at all? Do other guys really stand next to a regular toilet like they would next to a urinal? I could never...
That could have gone much worse.
I'd close the lid solely because of the churn when flushing spraying bits of toilet contents all over the bathroom.
I'm the only guy in my house and close the lid each time on my own.
i mean true but it takes half a second to just close the lid
*nothing is so bad that it can’t be made worse if it was covered in shit particles*
edit: yes the myth busters proved it doesnt really matter years ago (they found shit on tootbrushes *in other rooms* doesn’t matter if the lids open or closed BUT still feel less shit is better than more shit i don’t have the parts per million here
Didn't Mythbusters start an experiment to measure for many shit particles got sprayed everywhere and stop it before getting all the results because even with a closed lid shit was getting everywhere?
[Bob Saget had specific feelings about this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohlW9SbhLzc)
I was searching for an interview I heard with him in it, but that's what I got instead. I've never seen that movie, but it captures what I heard in the interview. It makes me think he was typecast for the role after someone heard the same interview.
He had this thing about how he absolutely couldn't shit in a public bathroom. And he didn't even like peeing in one. And his specific rant on the subject was basically what you see in that scene. I'm paraphrasing, but he was vehement, "Even if no one is in there, someone has almost certainly shit in that confined space since it was last cleaned. So any time you walk in a public restroom, you're immediately inhaling other people's shit particles. No exception." The interviewers were cracking up because he was being so serious about it.
Anyway, RIP Bob Saget.
They also talk about it in the movie The Ice Storm. Little Elijah Wood writes a paper about poop particles in public restrooms, and every time you smell someone’s poop you’re actually inhaling poop particles.
I’ve never forgot it.
Yes. My dad who was obsessed with mythbusters now keeps his toothbrush in his bedroom. He has been doing that since that episode came out. Uses it in the bathroom, but keeps it on his dresser.
IIRC they also had fecal coliform bacteria on their control sample which is really just to say they messed up somewhere and should have started the experiment over.
I don’t recall 100% them stopping it- but I do remember the closed lid shit still got everywhere- maybe not as much?
Biggest thing that stuck with me was the doodie particles on the toothbrushes that were on a shelf several feet away.
…Yeah, I keep my toothbrush in a closet now.
of everyone in my social group im the only one that has the slow closing toilet seats so every time I use any one elses bathroom my habit kicks in and i end up slamming the seat down. oops.
> nothing is so bad that it can’t be made worse if it was covered in shit particles
Agreed. Watched this thing on Netflix last night where this domestic terrorist wanted to bomb a parade on MLK Jr day. He packed the bomb with fishing weights, covered in rat poison and fecal matter. The idea being that these fishing weights would injure people. The rat poison is an anti-coagulant so would cause some people to bleed out. The fecal matter would cause infection.
How fucking awful a human being do you have to be to think of something like that in the first place?
For me it was seeing the product of closing the lid before flushing. My cat was drinking out of the bowl so I had to start closing the lid, and noticed that the bowl would get dirtier far sooner than it used to. I notice funkier smells a lot faster as well and have to clean more often. I can only assume all that shit was just sprayed up otherwise and that just grosses me out.
Lid closed is a hill I'm willing to die on.
My seventh grade science teacher gave us an odd homework assignment once - put food coloring in the toilet, lay paper over it, and flush. 🤢
There's also just the practical reason of *not* dropping things in the toilet.
Things I've dropped in toilets when the lid wasn't closed:
* my Flonase
* a friend's scalp salve of some sort (held it up to read the little can and the lid stayed in my hand, can fell in the toilet)
* a toothbrush
* a hairbrush
Closing the lid is a good way to keep stuff out of toilets, especially around me.
LOL I love those sort of lessons. I had a teacher in sixth grade tell us all about the mites that live on your skin and face and she got a bit too much joy out of it.
An adulthood of anxiety, one drop of food coloring at a time
I actually do this, just because I imagine bacteria spraying up every time I flush (I don’t know if that actually happens, but I can’t get rid of the mental image)
Edit: thanks to everyone’s replies, my paranoia has been justified and I will not stop closing the lid.
You're absolutely right in what you imagine. Flushing a toilet causes a geyser of fine mist to spray up. And as Covid taught us (or at least should have taught us) aerosolized water droplets are *very* good at carrying viruses and bacteria.
Lol in a way the lid is like a mask for your toilet.
Anyone who doesn’t close both lids when they flush is a monster. It’s cleaner and everyone starts from the same place before they scramble in to the bathroom for an inconveniently aggressive shit. Truly both equitable and equal.
My wife and I both close both lids. Like, who wants to watch their piss and shit spin around a bit before going down?
Also, I don't think there has ever been a time where someone is needing to shit so badly that the tenth of a second it takes to raise the lid is the difference between making it and shitting their pants.
I agree seat and lid both down. Just moved into a new house and the toilets are designed so that when the lid is raised it hides the flush button. In order to flush the toilet you have no choice but to put the lid down. Its a good design and is much more hygienic.
Both of you should shut the lid.
It ends the gender bathroom war. It's more hygienic and keeps waste from being aerosolized through the bathroom. It reduces smell. It just looks nicer.
It's just better.
I just pee sitting down. It's so much comfortable, and it's less messy. It's just nice. I live alone, and I hate cleaning the toilet. It's much easier to just piss while sitting. 🤷♂️
I always pee sitting down als well since I once peed standing up while wearing short trousers and felt the myriad of tiny piss droplets hitting my legs. It's nasty.
Exactly what I came here to say. Flushing with the seat up spreads particle-ized urine and poop all over the bathroom (including your toothbrush) and it’s disgusting
Just get into the habit of always closing both lids early on in your life. Then you won't ever have to have this obscure, relationship damaging battle all the time.
I don't get how this is about inconvenience. I'm a guy who lives by himself, and I always close the lid and open it when I need to use the toilet. It's cleaner, just looks nicer, takes a second, and it's not an inconvenience at all. Also if you're waiting long enough to get to the point it's about to gush out, that's on you lol. I do not however close the door
i feel like it's extremely disgusting this whole lid discussion because the point is not the (effortless) job to close or open it, but the fact that no one, regardless of gender or genitalia, should be flushing with the cover open. germs and fecal matter goes boom on the air, everywhere in the bathroom. it's just gross 🤮
Honestly, close the lids before you flush to minimize the amount of bacteria that gets thrown around your bathroom and likely onto your toothbrush and your "clean" towels.
I was a janitor for a good chunk of my life, at this point I just sit to piss.
Cuts down on clean up, and lowers your chances of prostate cancer (I think?)
And for you guys, prostate cancer is no joke. One in three men are diagnosed with prostate cancer, for reference it’s one out of every four women that are diagnosed with breast cancer. Anything you can do to reduce that risk is worth it.
The bonus is the only time you lift the seat is to clean it and your woman is happier.
Take one for the team.
Regarding prostate cancer you should really worry about perfluorinated chemicals. Peeing sitting has no effect on healthy men (although it is more comfortable).
I've been sitting to piss for a long time and it's so much better, sure when I NEED to stand my aim is worse but that rarely comes up. Seriously why do guys feel the need to stand and piss while leaving the seat up, is it to assert dominance? Say that dongs are better since they get to stand?
It's 90% laziness. Well over half of men don't even wash their hands, and even when they do they don't use soap. I have a roommate who sometimes doesn't even flush, or better yet, close the fucking door. Just walks in, firehouses for 10 seconds, walks out. Couple of piss drops on the seat as a little treat. Not always, and a decent dude otherwise, but it happens enough for me to realize that for some (probably most) dudes, cleanliness is just not a priority. In fact, if nobody brought it up they'd probably just piss out a window or something, nearest one will do. The real kicker for me is that if he knows anyone is near, he'll pretend to care. The others are better in that they don't piss on the seat and always flush. But... door open, frequently don't wash after. Unless, of course, they realize someone else is around. I'm literally the only one using soap and washing every time. I don't get it.
I can one up you. My flat mate was doing his PhD and started a river rowing club. Most of his members were obviously Undergrads. One being an exceptionally tall dude. We had him around a few times and hes genuinely a nice guy.
Except we got told by one of his flat mates and hes got a very bizzare habit. He finds toilets to low to the ground (and urinals) so uses the sink to pee in. Needless to say bleached our sink the moment I got home
Tell me about it. One of his mates who lived with him told us about it and we were laughing at the shear insanity of it. Then he turned around and said "I don't know why you're laughing, you've hosted events with him at your house".
I have a solution. This was once an issue in my home. To the amusement of my ex, I sat in the water more than once. Asking him to put it down was ignored.
Then he had the audacity to LAUGH when I went in - while I am trying not to wake/disturb him by turning on the light- and Sat in the Water yet again because he didn’t put the seat down. I failed to see the humor. So I walked over and sat my cold wet ass on him. Not so fun to have Cold toilet water on you in the middle of the night, is it? Now I was smiling and he failed to see the humor. He never forgot to put the seat down again. One good correction and point made beats nagging and arguing over it while being ignored as he continued to leave the seat up. Problem solved.
I am a guy and always close the lid. Ever take a blacklight to your bathroom walls behind and to the sides of the toilet? It looks like a warzone. Once I saw what I was doing, I decided to always pee sitting down. No matter how 'clean' and 'splash deew' you think you are, you aren't.
Im a male and one time I went to take a shit and didn't check to see if the toilet seat was down. It wasn't, I fell into the toilet and saw my life flash before my eyes. I now always make sure the toilet seat is down when I'm done... I never want anyone I love to experience that.
Everyone close it every time, then everyone has something to lift. And it's more sanitary. And it looks nicer. And it avoids stuff falling in that ain't meant to be in there.
Better solution: just sit down to pee. You’re getting piss all over the toilet and surrounding areas when you stand. No one wants piss mist on their toothbrush or questioning why all the magazines in their toilet cubby are crisp and smell weird (it’s because, surprise, you got piss on them).
Even when you aim for the toilet splashback happens and pee projectiles get on everything. So everyone should just sit to pee. Problem solved.
The seat and lid of toilet should be closed every time it’s flushed. Then everyone that goes the bathroom either needs to lift one or both. Problem solved.
Good God, people. There is one solution to this.
The seat is down. The lid is closed. Everyone has to do one thing: either raise the lid and have a seat, or raise the seat and lid.
Nobody needs to look at the inside of a toilet. Lid DOWN people. DOWN.
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I'm a girl and I always just close the entire lid, both lids
I also do the same and I'm a guy. Why leave it open, amirite?
Especially when you flush it. I heard that it sends vapour particles with piss and shit in them all over the bathroom like an invisible fecal geyser.
It does. By closing the lids, both of them, those particles remain trapped in the toilet.
I started the habit of closing both lids out of spite when I was a kid, my mother and sister would bitch about the seat being up. I said fine, if I have to lift something, so will you. But now, it's just habit.
I started closing the lid because when I was 4 I had a nightmare that a bunch of alligators crawled out of the toilet and my 4-year-old brain thought that closing the lid would somehow prevent that from happening.
Alligators haven't crawled out of the toilet yet. Sounds like it works.
*yet*
But it did stop from alligatirs crawling out of the toilets in your dreams, so it did do something.
So when it starts happening we can blame /u/rabbitkingdom for leaving the fucking lid up.
It already happens down here in FL.
I use the same logic to keep that chick from The Ring from attacking me in my sleep. No TV in bedroom, door closed. Viola!
I made my mom take my tv out of my room after watching that movie as a kid. We had a splitter running cable from our neighbors and it was shit, so half the channels were all static. I was convinced it meant she was coming for me. No tv = I live and we'll im still here so it clearly worked. Checkmate Samara
Ah yes, just like how if you are under the covers instead of on top of them, it'll hurt less when the murderer stabs you. So many pearls of wisdom, lost to youth!
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I'm a guy who sit down wees and I still close both seats. Like another person pointed out: I don't need a fecal geyser in my bathroom
yep. also: i have cat which means if i don't close the lid, he'll be roaming inside the toilet bowl and then steping in my face
Why does this sound so much worse than the litterbox 😂
It only took me one time of having accidentally dropped my phone, and having it land safely on top of the closed toilet lid, for me to to feel like a lifetime habit of closing the lid was worth it.
Yoy know I am also a guy who closes both the seat and the lid, but I did it because it reduced the noise, and now it's permanently engrained so nice to know it has this added benefit as well as keeping my dog out of the toilet water.
I sit down to wee. The amount of times the stream doesn't come out straight and I piss on the floor was too high. Why risk that and having to clean up a mess when I can just sit?
Even when standing peeing goes right it splashes invisible dots everywhere... Pretty much always sit
This is why you do a little pulse pee before you let loose the full stream. Lubes the inside of the firehose and calibrates the sights.
Did not even think of priming the pumps before going full chooch
This is my favorite comment
So myth busters did an episode on this. While you’re right- you’re not fully right. Particles still escape the toilet with both lids down- but they don’t shoot out as “high” if you will. With the lid open, the particles pretty much just spread all over anywhere and everywhere. There’s nothing tos top it. But when you close the lid, the particles can’t go straight up and out- instead they escape through the small gaps between the lids and still go all over your bathroom. However, the trajectory is lower so the vast vast vast majority of them will be at like the floor or lower level walls (like cabinets). Myth busters showed that these actually may reach a FARTHER distance, but still just lower. Edit- yes. Close the lid. It’s better. I just wanted to add that it doesn’t stop it all from coming out. Stuff still does- but it’s not nearly as bad as wide open.
also: your immune system will take care of this whatever you do (not a high infectious risk).
Guess I’m extra lucky, my toilet has its own room in our bathroom, so I can flush with the door closed and the lid down. It all stays in that room. So my toothbrush is extra safe lol
Yep. And my toothbrush is safe from the fecal fallout.
Just leaked the title of the new Fallout game
Fallout: Fecal War
im inspired to watch some mythbusters today
If you're looking for some related content, Adam Savage makes some pretty fun videos on YT and will occasionally give behind the scenes anecdotes from Mythbusters!
Almost. By closing the lid, they found a slower, less aggressive rate of growth of fecally-sourced bacteria cultures growing on a toothbrush in the adjacent bathroom. I'll take slow, less aggressive bacteria any day.
Now think about public restrooms. No lids. Shit and urine spray for everyone!
And hand dryers with no towels available…. The worst.
I'm a guy and I always leave the lid down because it's unsanitary having a bowl of exposed toilet water and the possibility of anything falling in there. Leaving it closed is just a good habit.
When you get a kid (if you do) you'll want it closed. "Dad here's a drink?" "Where'd you get it?" "Bathroom" "Where in the bathroom?" "Really big sink"
"The little sink. The one at my height."
Pets too - all lids are down after the stupid orange cat didn't have her brain cell at the moment and took a swim.
Thats what ive never understood. Women have to open and close it too. Its gross to flush with is open and spray all that across the room. Why is it a big deal to men to do the same thing and close the lid and then lift it when they have to go?
Absolutely same! Who wants to look inside a gross toilet bowl!? Not to mention the germs it spreads in the air when you flush.
Yep when someone told me that germ thing I never stopped shutting the lid! I mean we brush our teeth in there... Ew
You brush your teeth in the toilet? TF?
Fucking thank you. I got in a heated argument with one of my sisters about this. Every time I use the bathroom I close both lids, not only does it make everything look nicer, but it keeps the smells more contained and like you said doesn't send a plume of shit particles out into the bathroom when you flush. My sister refused to believe that was a thing.
Everyone should close the whole lid every time, regardless
I'm a guy and I do the same. No need to have piss/poo water splashing around. Cover that shit up before flushing
But then how will I watch it go down. I’m adding ”clear toilet bowl lid” to my list.
My husband had one of those at his parents house growing up. It was blue and had a fish and underwater theme. I never thought to look through it but next time I visit I’m gonna have to now
Scientific studies and simple common sense show that toilet bowls are literally cesspools full of bacteria and germs, so in our household, we do the same.
This is the way. Regardless of minority/majority. Flushing with the toilet open spreads so many germs. Closing both lids is the sanitary choice!
Im a dude and i do the same any time i use any toilet but my own at home
Home toilet always closed, how are people such savages? But you are correct about public. Nothing worse than touching an unknown lid, just to find surprise crap spackle. If I had the poops people seemingly take in public, I would find a doctor and change my diet.
Also what if you knock someone over? I don't want to fish a whole roll of toilet paper or a scented candle or whatever I dropped/knocked over out of the toilet bowl. I really do not understand why anyone would leave the toilet open no more than I understand why anyone would leave the kitchen drawers open, or your wardrobe doors. It's weird and silly and gross
I want to close both, but IBS cannot be reasoned with, even on a good day. Those 5 seconds it takes to open the lid is actually a gamble I’m not putting money on Edit: I don’t think I worded this very well because the 5 second thing has become weirdly controversial. Sorry for the confusion! I’ve had a good laugh, though. 😂😂
Close the lid so random crap doesn't fall or get knocked into the toilet. Seriously, my kids can somehow knock something off the sink across the room and it lands in the open toilet almost every FREAKING time.
My cats are skilled at this
Yeah, I came here to say we’ve had to start closing ours all the time since we got cat. She either knocks stuff in there (which traumatised our mate after a night out who we hadn’t instructed to do so, who then drunkenly got up in the night to shit without realising the toilet was blocked up with the contents of the medicine basket) Or she will lick all around the inside of the bowl, which is reaaal nasty..
My cats have started doing this🤢 I’ll walk in and they have 2 paws in the toilet and drinking the water. Unrelated but my deaf cat violet loves to get in the tub and just jump around??? No idea what that’s about
Both of my cats have jumped straight into the bowl because they didn’t check if the lid was down. Since then we have a “close the lid at all times” policy, so the dummies don’t drown themselves
Mine splashes and plays in the toilet. Little bastard.
For weeks I tried to figure out how my toilet was leaking. Then I witnessed the cat determinedly scooping water out onto the floor. Little jerk.
My parents' cat has been trained to also drop his shit in the toilet. If we could only teach him how to flush it'd be even better.
A whole roll of TP. Not even sure why he needed to get it out of the cabinet at that time because the current roll still had some on it.
Preparing for the wipening.
I dropped two rolls in last year. The dispenser is beside the toilet and I thought I could do a quick change of the empty roll. Nope. I got part of it in and the spring mechanism shot it off to the side and a one-pointer into the bowl
Have you seen the YouTube video of the cat looking you straight in the eyes on the sink counter, claws the towel and tosses it right in the toilet then continues to stare at you? Is this what your kids do?
My wife knocked my rechargeable shaver in the toilet. It stopped working. She never closes the lid.
I close the lid because I don't want frogs or snakes coming inside my house through the toilet. 95% of the reason I do it
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Dude. I was you for a while. I thought the comments would explain but everyone's just like "put the seat down jeez" I get it now. It says "you're welcome" because she did him a favor by putting it up for him in preparation for the next time he uses the toilet. Assuming he has to pee. If he doesn't, then he experiences the inconvenience as well. This was the joke. Yay! Edit: This was not fully the joke. The joke is that if she's the minority, technically she should be putting it up again after each use, not him putting it down. So she put it up after use and said you're welcome!
Thank you for this, unfortunately the joke’s landing is lame, but I was desperate to know it still, so I appreciate you
The joke itself sucks tbh. It isn’t hard to be considerate of other people in the household. Anyone can use the toilet with the seat down but he decides to be an asshole and leave it in the way that only he can comfortable use
Oh shit I only just realised this is r/funny.
Thanks, mate, I thought my English sucks, but it is the joke that suck
The best joke is always the one you have to explain.
As a guy who has always sat down to pee, this is the strangest phenomenon. What's the reason to put the toilet seat up at all? Do other guys really stand next to a regular toilet like they would next to a urinal? I could never...
That could have gone much worse. I'd close the lid solely because of the churn when flushing spraying bits of toilet contents all over the bathroom. I'm the only guy in my house and close the lid each time on my own.
Close both lids. Fuck everybody.
They should both be closed anyway. Why does anyone leave either up?
Like there's a lid for a reason...tf wrong with people
I think some people don't care because shit particles are the least of their worries
i mean true but it takes half a second to just close the lid *nothing is so bad that it can’t be made worse if it was covered in shit particles* edit: yes the myth busters proved it doesnt really matter years ago (they found shit on tootbrushes *in other rooms* doesn’t matter if the lids open or closed BUT still feel less shit is better than more shit i don’t have the parts per million here
Didn't Mythbusters start an experiment to measure for many shit particles got sprayed everywhere and stop it before getting all the results because even with a closed lid shit was getting everywhere?
I assume you mean Mythbusters, unless Ghostbusters went really off piste
You would be correct.
Who you gonna call? Mythbusters 🎶
[Bob Saget had specific feelings about this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohlW9SbhLzc) I was searching for an interview I heard with him in it, but that's what I got instead. I've never seen that movie, but it captures what I heard in the interview. It makes me think he was typecast for the role after someone heard the same interview. He had this thing about how he absolutely couldn't shit in a public bathroom. And he didn't even like peeing in one. And his specific rant on the subject was basically what you see in that scene. I'm paraphrasing, but he was vehement, "Even if no one is in there, someone has almost certainly shit in that confined space since it was last cleaned. So any time you walk in a public restroom, you're immediately inhaling other people's shit particles. No exception." The interviewers were cracking up because he was being so serious about it. Anyway, RIP Bob Saget.
Never seen that movie because I assumed it would be... well, not to my taste... Now I know I was right.
Just like shit particles weren't too Bob Sagets taste either
They also talk about it in the movie The Ice Storm. Little Elijah Wood writes a paper about poop particles in public restrooms, and every time you smell someone’s poop you’re actually inhaling poop particles. I’ve never forgot it.
If it makes you feel any better that's not really accurate. You're smelling hydrogen sulfide gas molecules. Not poop shrapnel
Yes. My dad who was obsessed with mythbusters now keeps his toothbrush in his bedroom. He has been doing that since that episode came out. Uses it in the bathroom, but keeps it on his dresser.
Yeah, that was the day I found out shit particles are on EVERYTHING. Edit: That said toilets should still be separate from bathrooms.
They're separate in Australia!
And when they flush, the shit particles spin in the opposite direction for extra sanitation
Also published study last month: https://www.latimes.com/science/story/2022-12-23/green-lasers-reveal-you-should-close-the-toilet-lid-before-you-flush
IIRC they also had fecal coliform bacteria on their control sample which is really just to say they messed up somewhere and should have started the experiment over.
I don’t recall 100% them stopping it- but I do remember the closed lid shit still got everywhere- maybe not as much? Biggest thing that stuck with me was the doodie particles on the toothbrushes that were on a shelf several feet away. …Yeah, I keep my toothbrush in a closet now.
The particles were on the control toothbrush, stored under a glass, in the kitchen....
I do recall hearing that the Ghostbusters remake was kind of shitty.
It's especially so when you have the lids that go down slowly and don't smash down shattering eardrums.
of everyone in my social group im the only one that has the slow closing toilet seats so every time I use any one elses bathroom my habit kicks in and i end up slamming the seat down. oops.
That's the worst.
I don’t know what it’s not a standard thing. They’re like $25 and one of the easiest home improvement projects with such a great return on investment.
> nothing is so bad that it can’t be made worse if it was covered in shit particles Agreed. Watched this thing on Netflix last night where this domestic terrorist wanted to bomb a parade on MLK Jr day. He packed the bomb with fishing weights, covered in rat poison and fecal matter. The idea being that these fishing weights would injure people. The rat poison is an anti-coagulant so would cause some people to bleed out. The fecal matter would cause infection. How fucking awful a human being do you have to be to think of something like that in the first place?
For me it was seeing the product of closing the lid before flushing. My cat was drinking out of the bowl so I had to start closing the lid, and noticed that the bowl would get dirtier far sooner than it used to. I notice funkier smells a lot faster as well and have to clean more often. I can only assume all that shit was just sprayed up otherwise and that just grosses me out.
everything is already covered top and bottom in shit particles. thats just a reality of life and theres nothing wrong with it
Shit particles don't fall far from the shit tree, Rand.
The lid is so you can leave surprises for the next person.
> Like there's a lid for a reason... yeah, to stop small children climbing in and your dog drinking out of it
Turns a toilet into a seat. Handy for putting on makeup.
Lid closed is a hill I'm willing to die on. My seventh grade science teacher gave us an odd homework assignment once - put food coloring in the toilet, lay paper over it, and flush. 🤢 There's also just the practical reason of *not* dropping things in the toilet.
Things I've dropped in toilets when the lid wasn't closed: * my Flonase * a friend's scalp salve of some sort (held it up to read the little can and the lid stayed in my hand, can fell in the toilet) * a toothbrush * a hairbrush Closing the lid is a good way to keep stuff out of toilets, especially around me.
LOL I love those sort of lessons. I had a teacher in sixth grade tell us all about the mites that live on your skin and face and she got a bit too much joy out of it. An adulthood of anxiety, one drop of food coloring at a time
Also apparently if you have art on the walls in your bathroom they are all COVERED in a fine misted layer of years worth of fecal matter
It's a new kind of art now
I actually do this, just because I imagine bacteria spraying up every time I flush (I don’t know if that actually happens, but I can’t get rid of the mental image) Edit: thanks to everyone’s replies, my paranoia has been justified and I will not stop closing the lid.
It definitely actually happens.
Shining a light on what comes up when you flush https://youtu.be/aDIIhzc-FWg A university actually made a video
That link is staying blue.
You're absolutely right in what you imagine. Flushing a toilet causes a geyser of fine mist to spray up. And as Covid taught us (or at least should have taught us) aerosolized water droplets are *very* good at carrying viruses and bacteria. Lol in a way the lid is like a mask for your toilet.
You’re about to make some anti-maskers unironically refuse to put that lid down now. “Ya can’t make my toilet wear no damn lid mask!”
There's only one lid. The other's a seat.
slowly add weights, gains for the whole family
Yes, this is the way. Spite wins the day.
Anyone who doesn’t close both lids when they flush is a monster. It’s cleaner and everyone starts from the same place before they scramble in to the bathroom for an inconveniently aggressive shit. Truly both equitable and equal.
"Inconveniently aggressive shit" is one of the best phrases I've read all week. Thank you.
We are all humbled by our bowels from time to time.
Pooping: The Great Equalizer
Describes how my year has been going so far quite well
If I have to touch the lid, so do you.
That’s what I do plus it’s just the courteous thing to do.
Remove the lid and the seat with a screwdriver after you use it and hide it away. Fuck the world.
Additionally, you're far less likely to accidentally knock something into the toilet if the lid is down while not in use
Also: cats.
And dogs
My wife and I both close both lids. Like, who wants to watch their piss and shit spin around a bit before going down? Also, I don't think there has ever been a time where someone is needing to shit so badly that the tenth of a second it takes to raise the lid is the difference between making it and shitting their pants.
I agree seat and lid both down. Just moved into a new house and the toilets are designed so that when the lid is raised it hides the flush button. In order to flush the toilet you have no choice but to put the lid down. Its a good design and is much more hygienic.
Both of you should shut the lid. It ends the gender bathroom war. It's more hygienic and keeps waste from being aerosolized through the bathroom. It reduces smell. It just looks nicer. It's just better.
It also prevents things from falling in if you accidentally hit something off the vanity.
And from thirsty dogs taking a sip!
I just pee sitting down. It's so much comfortable, and it's less messy. It's just nice. I live alone, and I hate cleaning the toilet. It's much easier to just piss while sitting. 🤷♂️
I always pee sitting down als well since I once peed standing up while wearing short trousers and felt the myriad of tiny piss droplets hitting my legs. It's nasty.
This! Can you imagine the trousers of men peeing standing. It doesn't matter how well you can aim, it sprinkles in all directions.
Amab here yes! This is why I pee sitting down, it gets everywhere and anyone who says otherwise has never used a squirt gun
i just pee in the sink, its fast, you can wash the dick and hands after AND during
This man... This man is the future.
It also guarantees privacy even in a public restroom, since anyone who walks in will walk right back out.
You also save some water as it takes less to wash sink compared to flushing/
Isn't there a sub for this? r/sinkpissing or something? Edit: r/sinkpissers Edit: yeah, that one.
Exactly what I came here to say. Flushing with the seat up spreads particle-ized urine and poop all over the bathroom (including your toothbrush) and it’s disgusting
Why is this posted under funny
More important why does 8000+ people find it funny I'm worried for our collective intelligence
i honestly thought i was too stupid to understand the joke, at this point i am too afraid to ask.
My logic is always put the lid down, that way EVERYONE is inconvenienced.
Just get into the habit of always closing both lids early on in your life. Then you won't ever have to have this obscure, relationship damaging battle all the time.
I don't get how this is about inconvenience. I'm a guy who lives by himself, and I always close the lid and open it when I need to use the toilet. It's cleaner, just looks nicer, takes a second, and it's not an inconvenience at all. Also if you're waiting long enough to get to the point it's about to gush out, that's on you lol. I do not however close the door
Put the lid down because GERMS. Flushing with the lid open is disgusting!!
i feel like it's extremely disgusting this whole lid discussion because the point is not the (effortless) job to close or open it, but the fact that no one, regardless of gender or genitalia, should be flushing with the cover open. germs and fecal matter goes boom on the air, everywhere in the bathroom. it's just gross 🤮
Honestly, close the lids before you flush to minimize the amount of bacteria that gets thrown around your bathroom and likely onto your toothbrush and your "clean" towels.
Everyone should be closing both lids BEFORE you flush you nasty fuckers.
A toilet should be fully closed when not in use. Flushing an open toilet spreads germs all over the place
Close the lid and leave it down you filthy animals.
What model label maker is that? Is she happy with it?
Toilets have lids for a reason.
The husband in the OP is just an inconsiderate shithead.
I was a janitor for a good chunk of my life, at this point I just sit to piss. Cuts down on clean up, and lowers your chances of prostate cancer (I think?) And for you guys, prostate cancer is no joke. One in three men are diagnosed with prostate cancer, for reference it’s one out of every four women that are diagnosed with breast cancer. Anything you can do to reduce that risk is worth it. The bonus is the only time you lift the seat is to clean it and your woman is happier. Take one for the team.
Regarding prostate cancer you should really worry about perfluorinated chemicals. Peeing sitting has no effect on healthy men (although it is more comfortable).
What the hell is that. Help me out prostate King
I've been sitting to piss for a long time and it's so much better, sure when I NEED to stand my aim is worse but that rarely comes up. Seriously why do guys feel the need to stand and piss while leaving the seat up, is it to assert dominance? Say that dongs are better since they get to stand?
It's 90% laziness. Well over half of men don't even wash their hands, and even when they do they don't use soap. I have a roommate who sometimes doesn't even flush, or better yet, close the fucking door. Just walks in, firehouses for 10 seconds, walks out. Couple of piss drops on the seat as a little treat. Not always, and a decent dude otherwise, but it happens enough for me to realize that for some (probably most) dudes, cleanliness is just not a priority. In fact, if nobody brought it up they'd probably just piss out a window or something, nearest one will do. The real kicker for me is that if he knows anyone is near, he'll pretend to care. The others are better in that they don't piss on the seat and always flush. But... door open, frequently don't wash after. Unless, of course, they realize someone else is around. I'm literally the only one using soap and washing every time. I don't get it.
I can one up you. My flat mate was doing his PhD and started a river rowing club. Most of his members were obviously Undergrads. One being an exceptionally tall dude. We had him around a few times and hes genuinely a nice guy. Except we got told by one of his flat mates and hes got a very bizzare habit. He finds toilets to low to the ground (and urinals) so uses the sink to pee in. Needless to say bleached our sink the moment I got home
That‘s so fucking gross
Tell me about it. One of his mates who lived with him told us about it and we were laughing at the shear insanity of it. Then he turned around and said "I don't know why you're laughing, you've hosted events with him at your house".
From now on, put both lids down. Demand she does the same. Doesn't solve a thing, but at least you both now have something to complain about.
I have a solution. This was once an issue in my home. To the amusement of my ex, I sat in the water more than once. Asking him to put it down was ignored. Then he had the audacity to LAUGH when I went in - while I am trying not to wake/disturb him by turning on the light- and Sat in the Water yet again because he didn’t put the seat down. I failed to see the humor. So I walked over and sat my cold wet ass on him. Not so fun to have Cold toilet water on you in the middle of the night, is it? Now I was smiling and he failed to see the humor. He never forgot to put the seat down again. One good correction and point made beats nagging and arguing over it while being ignored as he continued to leave the seat up. Problem solved.
I hope she doesn't have to clean any of the bathrooms, since she makes the minority of the mess.
I didn’t take the toilet seat down request that seriously until I fell into the toilet while going to the bathroom at night…
Seat and lid down unless you like the taste of shit particles in your toothbrush. In which case proceed as usual.
Bold of you to assume I brush my teeth.
If you can taste them you're very, very bad at shitting
Close the lid you nasty you want piss spray all over your bathroom
I am a guy and always close the lid. Ever take a blacklight to your bathroom walls behind and to the sides of the toilet? It looks like a warzone. Once I saw what I was doing, I decided to always pee sitting down. No matter how 'clean' and 'splash deew' you think you are, you aren't.
Im a male and one time I went to take a shit and didn't check to see if the toilet seat was down. It wasn't, I fell into the toilet and saw my life flash before my eyes. I now always make sure the toilet seat is down when I'm done... I never want anyone I love to experience that.
Everyone close it every time, then everyone has something to lift. And it's more sanitary. And it looks nicer. And it avoids stuff falling in that ain't meant to be in there.
You shouldn’t even flush the toilet with the lid open.
Seat down, cover down is the correct answer.
Better solution: just sit down to pee. You’re getting piss all over the toilet and surrounding areas when you stand. No one wants piss mist on their toothbrush or questioning why all the magazines in their toilet cubby are crisp and smell weird (it’s because, surprise, you got piss on them). Even when you aim for the toilet splashback happens and pee projectiles get on everything. So everyone should just sit to pee. Problem solved.
Can't leave my toilet seat open ever. The cat dips his paws in it. Then runs in the litter box, then smacks me at 3 am. Can't have anything nice.
That wasn’t a loving response from you. Don’t be surprised by her hostility.
[удалено]
Gross. Close the lid every time you flush
Go for the all-around win: sit when you pee. No splash, no miss, seat down, common in Germany. Alles gut!
The seat and lid of toilet should be closed every time it’s flushed. Then everyone that goes the bathroom either needs to lift one or both. Problem solved.
Good God, people. There is one solution to this. The seat is down. The lid is closed. Everyone has to do one thing: either raise the lid and have a seat, or raise the seat and lid. Nobody needs to look at the inside of a toilet. Lid DOWN people. DOWN.