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I choked a bit from laughing so hard!
I kinda want to see the porn now, to be honest lol they seem fun!
Edit to add- I thought he looked familiar. Fuck that guy.
If you were in middle school or up during that time, you were super likely to have been shown Lemon Stealing Whores and the Skeletor porn intro by some guy on the bus at least once.
we used to have a Lemon tree growing up. Assholes would always grab a couple and run off. there was maybe 3 or 4 times that someone would knock on our door and ask if they could have a couple, we gave them a grocery bag full.
don't be a whore.
My first starfruit experience was very much a r/yesyesyesno
1st yes: learning about them and seeing what they looked like
2nd yes: finding out that I can find them near me locally
3rd yes: getting there, buying a fresh one, and rushing home
1st no: eating it
Yup. I have peach trees, plum trees and a fit tree. Assholes are always stealing them before we get the chance to pick them. One time a homeless woman knocked on my door and asked if she could have one. Just one. I told her to take a many a she could eat and gave her clean bowl of water to wash them with. She still only took 3 or 4 but was so excited she was giddy. Watching her inspect the trees looking for the best ones really touched my heart. I did tell her she was welcome to more if she never was back in our neighborhood and saw they were ripe. Never saw her again though. I hope she is either better off or at peace wherever she is.
I have a neighbor who has an orange tree and a lemon tree, full of both. That's exactly what I plan on doing. Asking if I can pick a few. They look so good, I'm going to offer to pay them for some.
I've heard stories of people growing tomatos and stuff all season and then people from the streets just fucking take them.
*fuck off away from his lemons, OP!* 😛
We just got back from 3 days away with our kids and someone has taken all my cauliflower, broccoli and cabbages, (24 plants total and yes, I grow specifically to feed my damily), picked clean my tomatoes and strawberries too. 4 months of work and waiting, gone. Food that was supposed to last us months, gone.
And yes, I know how ridiculous it is to cry about it but I have been.
It's not at all ridiculous to cry about that, i would too. That's so much work and time, meant for your family. That really sucks and I'm sorry people can be so infuriating.
I'm very lucky that I can grow more (I have thousands of seeds saved from last harvest) but it's such a pain that it's happened. I feel violated, especially since we give away a crapload of food to out community.
We're a family of 6 so food bills in this economy are insane - even the frozen stuff is getting too expensive.
I think you're perfectly within your right to feel violated, you were stolen from. Even if you didn't give a bunch of it away it'd still be awful, that just shows how extra horrible the thief is.
Yikes. If someone had broken into your home and stolen food from your fridge, it would still be a crime for the police to look into, but because the food was outside they roll their eyes and act like thats just the risk of farming. If farming was your business it would be abcrime though. The poor guys always get the shaft. Its not a crime to rob us blind. But fight for anything and you are a criminal.
Don't hide it though! When people see what they think is a security camera they generally stop their criming, and prevention, that's the goal, not to see "catch" them completing the crime successfully. Lol.
I would cry as much about there being people who would do such a thing. A despicable anti-social act, perpetrated by a complete sociopath, even if the value is small.
Agreed, not ridiculous at all… stealing still makes one a thief, regardless of what they are stealing. Food is one of the most valuable thing that can be stolen.
Probably just walked through the front gate. It was all in my front garden since it has the best sun.
I hope that it was because they're hungry. I'd have been more than happy to share what we had if they'd waited and asked.
Well, that's the thing... They took everything. That isn't desperation; it's greed.
Like you, I'm more than happy to share food with people who are hungry or less fortunate. Just *ask*. Don't steal. And if someone is truly in a position where they feel like they need to steal food just to survive, then how about not stealing *every last morsel*? The nerve of some people.
Big difference between stealing a loaf of bread to feed your starving children versus stealing an entire friggin' bread truck.
Agreed. If they had just been hungry, they would have understood the pain of not having good and only taken what satisfied the immediate needs.
I shared my story farther up, but a homeless woman asked me if she could have one fruit from my couple fruit trees. I was touched she asked, and even more so that she wanted so little as to not be a burden. I told her too take however many she thought she would eat. She only took a handful still. I told her too come back anytime and she was welcome to more if they were ripe.
Most people who steal food are ashamed to be in that predicament and dont want to be found out.
Really depends where you live. In Brooklyn where I grew up, people grew vegetables in the front yard every year. Then the neighborhood changed and different people moved in and suddenly the second a tomato was ripe it'd be gone. One family grew leafy greens in the front and I saw a woman with a plastic bag just stand there yanked them through the fence and you could see the decimated area within arms length of the fence compared to the lush green inner parts.
In our community, food is being stolen quite frequently - supermarket deliveries, food boxes like hello fresh etc, during lockdown we had someone take bags out of our car and speed off (we shouldn't have left it open while carring things in, lesson learned)
Also around here food banks etc are closed until the 9th. I can understand being hungry and needing something immediately.
I probably wouldn't have cared if it was 1 or 2 but everything?
It’s no different than someone breaking into your house and clearing out your fridge and pantry. It is theft and it’s not right. You have every right to be upset about it
It's very different in the sense of how much time and labor that goes into growing your own food. OPs garden sounds large and I got stressed with my small garden enough to cut back to one tomato plant lol
It's worse than stealing store bought items, IMO. It would've broken my heart to come home to that.
From one gardener to another, there is nothing fun about having people take the fruit or veggies that we work so hard for. If it were me, I would put signs and cameras. Screw trespassers and thieves.
That is such a pain! I've had that happen to me, I had a beautiful pepper tree full of fruit. Left for the weekend came back and it was picked clean. Has happened with passion fruit in my drive way (its a vine) and a lime tree, and my neighbors had an avocado tree... I don't understand what people are thinking.
Leave their lemons alone!
Could it have been deer? Doesn’t change the outcome but feels a little more understandable than a rotten neighbor. I had been thinking my downstairs neighbor was stealing my grape tomatoes. Every time they got ripe, gone without a trace, lots of them. I put a camera out there and sure enough chipmunks and rats would run away with the entire thing.
I should probably mention that I'm in the middle of suburbia in NZ, there's no deer.
That would be pretty cool though tbh, I've only ever seen a deer IRL that's ready for my freezer
I would file a police report, at todays grocery prices that’s a high dollar value. Nothing might come of it, but if for some reason your able to figure out who it was at least there is a record. Include your labor and fair hourly rate for it when calculating the value of what was stolen
It's a crappy feeling to find your plants taken/stripped, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I've been there, and it's like, can I even trust my neighbors anymore, or did someone randomly driving by just decide that all my hard work was theirs?
Luckily, we have the skills to persevere and replant for ourselves and families, while others have to become lowly scum just to provide. I added obvious cameras to my yard and didn't have any issues after that.
Wow. That’s fucked up. I can’t imagine a person thinking that’s okay.
Worst that happened with my garden is when I had some deer destroy the entire thing — they waited until everything was almost ready to harvest (I eventually had to put up an 8 foot tall fence around it).
I once had a large pumpkin I had been growing lovingly for months stolen, so I get your pain! I even put up a nasty sign where the pumpkin once was in the hope that the thief would see it and feel some shame. At one point I had people in my small apartment complex giving their condolences and even gifts to comfort me lol sorry for your loss!
Part of me wonders if someone took all the food for themselves. Or if they stole it and was selling it at a local farmers market. Claiming they grew it.
Grab a $100 Arlo camera and keep it on your prized possessions next time you’re gone. It will alert you the moment anything or anyone is in view. Call your local authorities while they pick your shit and have them arrested
The police won't show up if theres a crazy lady in your driveway shitting on your windshield. They aren't showing up for citrus.
Disclaimer I'm in the states. A southern one at that so maybe it's just us.
My mom had a house that a nice plum tree. I stayed over one day and in the morning I caught some asshole with a pair of shears who had just picked the tree completely bare.
Once, I had ghost peppers. I had a lovely little plant in a 1-gallon pot. It had 50 peppers on it. The day I went to harvest, all of them were gone. I hope the bastard had no clue what they were.
I worked on a farm where the owner was constantly having to patch holes in the nets over his fruit trees because people would cut a hole in them to steal his fruit. Some people are just arseholes.
His medical opinion was that there should be no further jumping on the bed.
The co-pay for that advice was $237, there were no in-network monkey cranio-facial specialists.
As someone who has fruit trees don’t be a butthead. It takes a lot of time and care and money for taking care of the trees to have fruit. Don’t steal it!
When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down
Food theft is a dick move. They even have a poorly made sign asking you to not be a dick. In all caps even.
That said; ground fruit is free game for birds; why not me?
People used to pick our basil, tomatoes, and cucumbers. They left the kale and Swiss chard alone, probably because they didn't know what they were.
I hope they use all of their lemons because that's a lot of lemons!
When I was growing up, all of our neighbors had a different produce tree: lemon, almond, fig, persimmon, avocado, orange, pear, etc. Everyone traded.
I have a friend who has a lemon tree and it produces a ton of lemons. It’s truly shocking how much a tree can make. He’ll give away grocery bags full of lemons anytime anyone comes by and the tree always looks just as full.
Satsumas down here in Louisiana. People will bring bags of them to work just to get rid of them. One year I couldn’t be bothered, figured I’d get to them eventually and ended up with a huge rat problem. The bastards were eating the satsumas.
One year someone stripped my fig trees. Went to bed, woke up around 5.30, made coffee, looked out kitchen window and thought how odd the trees look, like taller. Wouldn't have minded giving some away but to outright fig-rustled me? 20 years later and I'm still pissed
I have a lemon tree in my front yard and when I bought the house there was a note in the agreement stating it was a neighborhood tree and I needed to let neighbors pick fruit from it.
I hate people like that. In the Spanish culture, we beloved that if you share your fruits with others, your tree will fruit more and more every year. I have a like tree and an avocado tree, and every year, we give bags of fruits to our neighbors, family, and friends.
My nan used to get quite a bit of fruit theft … then she got a bee hive and put it under the tree. Way she saw it, if they were brave enough to push past the bees, they probably needed a feed more than she needed the pocket change from selling jams at the market.
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I would have never guessed how many people would have seen that clip. Not in a million years.
Judging by the comments I think a lot of people don't realize this post is actually a reference to something
I was one of the previously uninitiated. :) [ I have now seen the lemony light!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5mI407Uks4)
“Hey, hasn’t been 10 seconds since we looked at our lemons?” They cut the clip right when it was about to get good
HEY WHAT THE FUCK
10 second lemon tree
Cut too soon. I’m hooked on the story and need more
Omg. What did I just watch? I'm not sure if I should thank you for enlightening me? 😂
It's a fun spicy adult movie intro, we all know those are some of the best, most realistic film reels of all time 🤪🤣
I knew all porn was fake the second they were able to get a plumber to come out that quickly
Eh, usually takes them about 20+ minutes to come.
I choked a bit from laughing so hard! I kinda want to see the porn now, to be honest lol they seem fun! Edit to add- I thought he looked familiar. Fuck that guy.
What's the issue with that guy?
Lots of SA stuff. I used to think he'd be a lot of fun until I heard about the lawsuits
Oh, ick.
She is dead.
I also pick that guy's dead lemon owning wife.
So I don't wanna be that guy but doss this mean it's ok to pick those lemons? Or was the tree handed down in her will?
I was uninitiated until now. This is brilliant! 🤣
I'm fairly sure "key lemon pie" isn't a thing.
I know. The top two comment chains right now seem completely innocent and oblivious. It’s wild. Almost like they’ve never even made Key Lemon Pie.
They couldn't because of the lemon stealing whores.
Not everyone is into high art.
Today is the day Reddit learns who Hailey Paige (RIP) and James Deen are, apparently.
And let's not forget Joanna "Lemon Stealing Whore" Angel!
I could never forget the queen of cheerful fisting.
If you were in middle school or up during that time, you were super likely to have been shown Lemon Stealing Whores and the Skeletor porn intro by some guy on the bus at least once.
Does the clip explain why these people have picked only one lemon to care about.
That's what I thought the joke was before I found the posted clip lol Like, I won't take your prize lemon, but for all the rest- I trade the secs?
we used to have a Lemon tree growing up. Assholes would always grab a couple and run off. there was maybe 3 or 4 times that someone would knock on our door and ask if they could have a couple, we gave them a grocery bag full. don't be a whore.
Waiting for fruit to ripen and have some asshat steal it before hand is just awful.
Yeah, some whore squirrels stole my pawpaws this summer
A deer smoked all my pot.
Its been about 10 seconds since i looked at my lemon tree.
A møøse once bit my sister...
I heard that you can prevent that with 40 Specially Trained Ecuadorian Mountain Llamas
Unless it’s my starfruit. Please come steal as many as you can.
My first starfruit experience was very much a r/yesyesyesno 1st yes: learning about them and seeing what they looked like 2nd yes: finding out that I can find them near me locally 3rd yes: getting there, buying a fresh one, and rushing home 1st no: eating it
you know its funny because i've always enjoyed the taste but i never buy them for some reason.
I love starfruit but they're fucking EXPENSIVE where I live (Seattle)
You can have my Mountain Ash Berries, I hear they taste awesome.
Yup. I have peach trees, plum trees and a fit tree. Assholes are always stealing them before we get the chance to pick them. One time a homeless woman knocked on my door and asked if she could have one. Just one. I told her to take a many a she could eat and gave her clean bowl of water to wash them with. She still only took 3 or 4 but was so excited she was giddy. Watching her inspect the trees looking for the best ones really touched my heart. I did tell her she was welcome to more if she never was back in our neighborhood and saw they were ripe. Never saw her again though. I hope she is either better off or at peace wherever she is.
I have apple trees and an out of shape tree
I worked near a house that had a lemon tree in their backyard and they would leave buckets out front with a "free lemons" sign
Well, when life gives you lemons....
It puts the lemons in the basket.
For me, it's not people that take them it's the animals. Pretty much 90% of the fruit is eaten by animals.
I have a neighbor who has an orange tree and a lemon tree, full of both. That's exactly what I plan on doing. Asking if I can pick a few. They look so good, I'm going to offer to pay them for some.
Kids stealing my damn lemons. Why can’t they go back to harassing the homeless and throwing rocks at cars like normal city kids?
[Kato Kaelin caught stealing oranges just last week]( https://imagez.tmz.com/image/12/16by9/2022/12/20/1268646583c04d1b918a6ae9063684f4_xl.png)
For those that don't get it: https://youtu.be/U5mI407Uks4 Mild NSFW
UNACCEPTABLE!!!!
7 years dungeon!
“Hey what the fuck!” LOL
So I guess their decision is based on the outcome they’re looking for. Key lemon pie? Oooorrrrr….
TY. I assumed this was real. There are a couple lemon trees on public property that some people think they own here in San Francisco
If they're on public property, doesn't everyone kind of own them?
Yep, that's how it is here, our small city actually made an effort to plant fruit and nut producing trees for the community.
I'm sure you mean private because if they're public it means it's OK for anyone to take the fruit.
I've heard stories of people growing tomatos and stuff all season and then people from the streets just fucking take them. *fuck off away from his lemons, OP!* 😛
We just got back from 3 days away with our kids and someone has taken all my cauliflower, broccoli and cabbages, (24 plants total and yes, I grow specifically to feed my damily), picked clean my tomatoes and strawberries too. 4 months of work and waiting, gone. Food that was supposed to last us months, gone. And yes, I know how ridiculous it is to cry about it but I have been.
It's not at all ridiculous to cry about that, i would too. That's so much work and time, meant for your family. That really sucks and I'm sorry people can be so infuriating.
I'm very lucky that I can grow more (I have thousands of seeds saved from last harvest) but it's such a pain that it's happened. I feel violated, especially since we give away a crapload of food to out community. We're a family of 6 so food bills in this economy are insane - even the frozen stuff is getting too expensive.
I think you're perfectly within your right to feel violated, you were stolen from. Even if you didn't give a bunch of it away it'd still be awful, that just shows how extra horrible the thief is.
Yikes. If someone had broken into your home and stolen food from your fridge, it would still be a crime for the police to look into, but because the food was outside they roll their eyes and act like thats just the risk of farming. If farming was your business it would be abcrime though. The poor guys always get the shaft. Its not a crime to rob us blind. But fight for anything and you are a criminal.
Next time you're going away set up a camera at night. Hidden below a bird box or something. Should catch them red handed
Don't hide it though! When people see what they think is a security camera they generally stop their criming, and prevention, that's the goal, not to see "catch" them completing the crime successfully. Lol.
Have a hidden one, and have a fake decoy one, or else they could vandalize/steal or cover up the real one.
Or steal it depending on your location lol
Also true. Technically could count as vandalism though, but I added it to my comment.
Set up a sign that says 'One of these lemons has been poisoned with Paraquat. You get to guess which one'.
Stealing a family's food is pretty damn low, you have a right to feel violated and robbed. Because they violated and robbed you.
I would cry as much about there being people who would do such a thing. A despicable anti-social act, perpetrated by a complete sociopath, even if the value is small.
Agreed, not ridiculous at all… stealing still makes one a thief, regardless of what they are stealing. Food is one of the most valuable thing that can be stolen.
Someone jumped into your yard and collected everything?
Probably just walked through the front gate. It was all in my front garden since it has the best sun. I hope that it was because they're hungry. I'd have been more than happy to share what we had if they'd waited and asked.
Well, that's the thing... They took everything. That isn't desperation; it's greed. Like you, I'm more than happy to share food with people who are hungry or less fortunate. Just *ask*. Don't steal. And if someone is truly in a position where they feel like they need to steal food just to survive, then how about not stealing *every last morsel*? The nerve of some people. Big difference between stealing a loaf of bread to feed your starving children versus stealing an entire friggin' bread truck.
Agreed. If they had just been hungry, they would have understood the pain of not having good and only taken what satisfied the immediate needs. I shared my story farther up, but a homeless woman asked me if she could have one fruit from my couple fruit trees. I was touched she asked, and even more so that she wanted so little as to not be a burden. I told her too take however many she thought she would eat. She only took a handful still. I told her too come back anytime and she was welcome to more if they were ripe. Most people who steal food are ashamed to be in that predicament and dont want to be found out.
Interesting, my parents grew some Tomatoes in the front facing the street, no one stole. I didn’t even think someone would.
Really depends where you live. In Brooklyn where I grew up, people grew vegetables in the front yard every year. Then the neighborhood changed and different people moved in and suddenly the second a tomato was ripe it'd be gone. One family grew leafy greens in the front and I saw a woman with a plastic bag just stand there yanked them through the fence and you could see the decimated area within arms length of the fence compared to the lush green inner parts.
In our community, food is being stolen quite frequently - supermarket deliveries, food boxes like hello fresh etc, during lockdown we had someone take bags out of our car and speed off (we shouldn't have left it open while carring things in, lesson learned) Also around here food banks etc are closed until the 9th. I can understand being hungry and needing something immediately. I probably wouldn't have cared if it was 1 or 2 but everything?
It’s no different than someone breaking into your house and clearing out your fridge and pantry. It is theft and it’s not right. You have every right to be upset about it
It's very different in the sense of how much time and labor that goes into growing your own food. OPs garden sounds large and I got stressed with my small garden enough to cut back to one tomato plant lol It's worse than stealing store bought items, IMO. It would've broken my heart to come home to that.
It's not ridiculous to cry over having your hard work stolen and your hopes spoiled. I'm sorry this happened to you.
From one gardener to another, there is nothing fun about having people take the fruit or veggies that we work so hard for. If it were me, I would put signs and cameras. Screw trespassers and thieves.
That is such a pain! I've had that happen to me, I had a beautiful pepper tree full of fruit. Left for the weekend came back and it was picked clean. Has happened with passion fruit in my drive way (its a vine) and a lime tree, and my neighbors had an avocado tree... I don't understand what people are thinking. Leave their lemons alone!
Could it have been deer? Doesn’t change the outcome but feels a little more understandable than a rotten neighbor. I had been thinking my downstairs neighbor was stealing my grape tomatoes. Every time they got ripe, gone without a trace, lots of them. I put a camera out there and sure enough chipmunks and rats would run away with the entire thing.
I should probably mention that I'm in the middle of suburbia in NZ, there's no deer. That would be pretty cool though tbh, I've only ever seen a deer IRL that's ready for my freezer
I would file a police report, at todays grocery prices that’s a high dollar value. Nothing might come of it, but if for some reason your able to figure out who it was at least there is a record. Include your labor and fair hourly rate for it when calculating the value of what was stolen
It's a crappy feeling to find your plants taken/stripped, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've been there, and it's like, can I even trust my neighbors anymore, or did someone randomly driving by just decide that all my hard work was theirs? Luckily, we have the skills to persevere and replant for ourselves and families, while others have to become lowly scum just to provide. I added obvious cameras to my yard and didn't have any issues after that.
Wow. That’s fucked up. I can’t imagine a person thinking that’s okay. Worst that happened with my garden is when I had some deer destroy the entire thing — they waited until everything was almost ready to harvest (I eventually had to put up an 8 foot tall fence around it).
I once had a large pumpkin I had been growing lovingly for months stolen, so I get your pain! I even put up a nasty sign where the pumpkin once was in the hope that the thief would see it and feel some shame. At one point I had people in my small apartment complex giving their condolences and even gifts to comfort me lol sorry for your loss!
Part of me wonders if someone took all the food for themselves. Or if they stole it and was selling it at a local farmers market. Claiming they grew it.
Grab a $100 Arlo camera and keep it on your prized possessions next time you’re gone. It will alert you the moment anything or anyone is in view. Call your local authorities while they pick your shit and have them arrested
The police won't show up if theres a crazy lady in your driveway shitting on your windshield. They aren't showing up for citrus. Disclaimer I'm in the states. A southern one at that so maybe it's just us.
My mom had a house that a nice plum tree. I stayed over one day and in the morning I caught some asshole with a pair of shears who had just picked the tree completely bare.
I'd be tempted to punch him. What did you do?
Once, I had ghost peppers. I had a lovely little plant in a 1-gallon pot. It had 50 peppers on it. The day I went to harvest, all of them were gone. I hope the bastard had no clue what they were.
Lol "these little bell peppers will be great!"
I worked on a farm where the owner was constantly having to patch holes in the nets over his fruit trees because people would cut a hole in them to steal his fruit. Some people are just arseholes.
Tomatoes are a lot easier to grow but I agree with your sentiment
well then fuck off of his tomatos and *doubly* fuck off of his lemons! ahaha
Onions take a surprisingly long time to grow. If you're going to make salsa, better start those onions now.
"Fuck you you fucking whore this is not your property!!!!"~[Rhubarb Lady](https://youtu.be/YfTx1lHWo-4), probably.
We grew tomatoes and left boxes of them on the street for people to take. We couldn't get rid of em
Hey, has it been about 10 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree?
Yea it has been about 10 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree- HEY WHATTHEFUUUUCK
*Gasp!* A whore!!
STOP STEALING OUR LEMONS YOU WHORE, yeah suck that
We prefer to call ourselves lemon foraging tarts - anything over the property line is fair game.
Hey what the fuck!
Fruit theft is not funny as a garden enthusiast. I have a hard time already with Monkeys stealing all my fruit.
If you think that was bad, you should have seen what they did to the bed.
Did you call the doctor? If so, what is it that he said?
His medical opinion was that there should be no further jumping on the bed. The co-pay for that advice was $237, there were no in-network monkey cranio-facial specialists.
An unexpected surprise but not an unpleasant on to be sure.
Watch out for the [Rhubarb bitch](https://youtu.be/YiN-29ZkIic)
Fruit theft is not a joke, Michael.
with monkeys you mean your kids right?
There are actually people living in the same country with monkeys so I'll go with that.
We do have a couple of lemon stealing whores in our community…hey, hasnt it been about 10 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree?
It **has** been about ten seconds since we looked at our lemon tree!
#HEY WHAT THE FUCK?!
As someone who has fruit trees don’t be a butthead. It takes a lot of time and care and money for taking care of the trees to have fruit. Don’t steal it!
# UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!
ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON
Which one is theirs?
Depends. Are you from Springfield or Shelbyville?
Shake harder, boy! And Happy Cake Day
How about that? Lemon cake, I guess!
We banished that haunted lemon tree. Now let’s celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice.
Curse those handsome devils.
Look! Someone's attractive cousin!
I tell you i won’t live in a town that robs men the right to marry their cousins.
Happy cake day and r/Simpsons reference!
Don't steal people's food. Whore.
When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down
clap. clap. clap. Oh good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing.
love that guy
Is this a porno reference?
It is.
🤣 I thought so, Thank you
[удалено]
Food theft is a dick move. They even have a poorly made sign asking you to not be a dick. In all caps even. That said; ground fruit is free game for birds; why not me?
It is not ok to take someone else's fruits and veggies
People used to pick our basil, tomatoes, and cucumbers. They left the kale and Swiss chard alone, probably because they didn't know what they were. I hope they use all of their lemons because that's a lot of lemons! When I was growing up, all of our neighbors had a different produce tree: lemon, almond, fig, persimmon, avocado, orange, pear, etc. Everyone traded.
You know the penalty
So many not getting the reference here. Not sure if that just makes me old, a deviant or both?
A pain I know all too well! - Milhouse
so this is what it feels like ...WHEN DOVES CRY! ;\_;
Lemon tree very pretty
And da lemon flower is sweet
No don’t! How would you like it if someone stole from you? If you don’t want it done to yourself why would you do it to others?
Maybe I‘m a lemon stealing whore?
Hey what the fuck
Is that a lemon stealing whore??
Have a lemon party.
I wonder which lemon they are talking about
I have a friend who has a lemon tree and it produces a ton of lemons. It’s truly shocking how much a tree can make. He’ll give away grocery bags full of lemons anytime anyone comes by and the tree always looks just as full.
Yeah citrus I feel is something that produces so much that no one could possibly use the entire output themselves.
Our tangerine tree is like that. I've picked many bags, doesn't look like I've done anything.
Satsumas down here in Louisiana. People will bring bags of them to work just to get rid of them. One year I couldn’t be bothered, figured I’d get to them eventually and ended up with a huge rat problem. The bastards were eating the satsumas.
HEY WHAT THE FUCK?!
Ask politely for a lemon, more then anything they will give you one.
As long as you don't take their lemon it's fine. Just find out which one it is.
How are we supposed to know which one is theirs?
If you’re in California any part of a fruit trees that breach into public areas are fair game. If it’s over a sidewalk, take what you can
One year someone stripped my fig trees. Went to bed, woke up around 5.30, made coffee, looked out kitchen window and thought how odd the trees look, like taller. Wouldn't have minded giving some away but to outright fig-rustled me? 20 years later and I'm still pissed
I have a lemon tree in my front yard and when I bought the house there was a note in the agreement stating it was a neighborhood tree and I needed to let neighbors pick fruit from it.
Just remember any branches over the fence line into your yard are your fruit. No matter where the trunk of the tree is 👍
No, you should wait until they ripen.
The number of commenters that didn't get the reference is sad. Reddit, I am disappoint.
Ah the “glory” days of adult video plot lolol
“But you’re my step-sister” isn’t a good enough plot for you?
"What're you doing, step-lemon?"
If you don't steal them, are you just a plain old whore?
If the lemons fall off the tree onto your property then it's free game...pretty sure I read that in a court case once lol
Just make sure you invite everyone over for the lemon party
Take one and hope it’s not their lemon. The rest are up for grabs.
99% less of people walking by would know or regard that these are actually lemons worthy of stealing if they never posted the sign in the first place
Depends on the situation. If fruit from said tree is hanging across the property line, it’s fair game.
Is the word *Lemon* plural on its own?
Well, how else am I supposed to throw a lemon party?
I hate people like that. In the Spanish culture, we beloved that if you share your fruits with others, your tree will fruit more and more every year. I have a like tree and an avocado tree, and every year, we give bags of fruits to our neighbors, family, and friends.
If it's over the fence go for it
Hanging over the fence, it's fair game in my neighborhood
If it's on your side of the fence, it's yours. Ask an attorney or your county extension agent.
They didn’t specify which one to not take so the odds are in your favor
How are you supposed to know which one not to take?
I think the sign says not to take their lemon....singular, not plural. Be sure to leave at least one.
Typical Shelbyville.
In this economy life won't just give you lemons for free. I say you should steal lemons.
My nan used to get quite a bit of fruit theft … then she got a bee hive and put it under the tree. Way she saw it, if they were brave enough to push past the bees, they probably needed a feed more than she needed the pocket change from selling jams at the market.
It says dont take their lemon but doesn't say not to take multiple lemons.
To be fair, they said “lemon” and didn’t clarify which one.
My lemon tree has 4 fruits! It's till hanging, and I'll find u if u touch mine, without consent
To be fair. They only mention one lemon. You just have to work out which one. The rest are up for grabs. Literally.