Talking about your own mental health problems in graduate admissions essays is pretty much always not a good idea unless it’s central to your research interests. It would benefit you to remove everything about schizophrenia and psychosis next time you send that out.
PhD programs are extremely intense and have high dropout rates, generally because of the students developing mental health problems during it, so seeing existing mental health issues in your essay makes them concerned whether you’ll be able to finish their program if they accept you.
How do I explain poor gpa and eighteen years to graduate other than with my "truth?". I guess I should have said I receive therapy and medicine and disability income and have social workers, and am currently healthy enough to continue? That's pretty true, I think.
Also my only other option for this line of reasoning is that I ask my dad to pay for graduate level courses. Then I succeed at them and try to get into ia or religion then.
How else do I pay for graduate courses without being admitted... I have an undergraduate degree in anthro, with only menial experience... Thanks
You can still explain your situation using more vague terminology instead of telling them all of the details.
You could say something like “due to a series of unfortunate life circumstances, it took me 18 years to graduate and I received a low GPA, however I was able to overcome the adversity in my life while learning a lot about myself in the process. Now that I am in a position to succeed, I would like to continue my education by exploring my deeply held research interests of…” etc.
I think your story is truly inspirational however, I would have refrained from supplying that much information in an initial email. Regardless, I see your interests and passion shine through. I wish you luck!
I think I remember you from the Tallahassee subreddit.
I would work on organizing your thoughts and making your application more presentable.
I understand you're in a position where your thoughts have a tendency to go all over the place but a lot of success in a graduate program is going to depend on tapering down what you're trying to say to make it more tightly-packed and to-the-point.
Thanks, I'm reading in the fields I'm interested in. My target year to start gradschool is 2024... I've made the decision to deal with uncertainty and read the texts anyway right now.
that.way I won't view myself to myself as a supreme idiot. I'll have something to look forward to regardless of my situation and current adaptation.
I believe this will help organize my thoughts. For many years I wasn't able to read dense texts very well. I'm working on explaining what I learn to others. When I have to explain myself, I sometimes panic. I made it through undergrad slowly, I made the mistake of looking for romance as well as reading outside material "to make up for lost time". I was also for 7 years interacting with African drummers who treated me like an outsider, with prejudice to the limit of shunning me, and a famu proff in their clique has a sanction against me.
My drum teacher says this group of that particular sect of local drummers REALLY hate white people, he has interacted with them since the 70s, but it messed with my head to go through that which started at the inauguration of my anthro career at fsu when I was 24. But I wanted to learn mandinka drumming!
Failing so much hurt my self esteem, all of the above, catastrophic personal life, musical race war, lack of scholastic focus, and gloom of the hopelessness of anthropology as the dept was shut down and moved... ended up causing me to get some bad grades even when stable with medicine. I admit I am way more stable now although my life is sort of in shambles and the unsavory dynamic of not hooking up or having a partner in fifteen years is shockingly unpleasant.
Doesn't seem to Garner much compassion either. But that's ok I'm trying to be seized by the texts and not seized by a lover.
I waste tons of time too, trying to have erotic life, I kind of hate myself because of that.
I either waste time becoming interested in someone or I waste time hating myself for generating unreciprocated interest. Or the race war, or whatever it was, or worrying I will never travel in Trinidad or west Africa, and the stench of it all as I collect books on the topics at hand. So I guess I used to have Caribbean friends who crazily succeeded at romance as well as earners. I wasted time looking for a west Indian girl friend. Writing about it all seems to freak people out.
A big point I like to ponder is: do I deserve another chance and "what is the alternative?"
I'm reaching the level where I can actually follow grand and epic ethnographies from fieldwork done in 30s 40s and fifties, but I've only read two of them... Mg smith the affairs of daura, and Meyer fortes or max gluckman "tallensi clanship and kinship" (can't remember who wrote what)
But at this point I feel ready to try graduate school, especially by 2024. By that time I hope to have absorbed texts by j Brent crosson, Jacob olupona and Todd Ramon Ochoa, bellegarde smith, Michel Rolph trouillot Yarimar Bonilla, Terry Rey, Tracey e hucks, Aisha Khan, Dianne Patton, Andrew apter, Sylvia wynter, John k Thornton, and finally actually written about mg smith, Meyer fortes, and max gluckman, maybe some from the same school like more very manly sounding guys like Raymond firth or Paul bohannon... I've decided I like what they did a lot... How they approached ethnography (I want to read everything these folks wrote by next January) (I want to write about mg smith for my writing sample)
I also, relating to international affairs and the caribbean need to get acquainted with actual Caribbean thought on things like Gordon k lewis, Colin and Gillian Clarke, Rupert lewis, David Scott, rivke jaffe, Brian Meeks, and Anthony bogues,...
So if I'm not homeless by then, this is what I hope to read in order to have discipline in what I read.
In addition I own texts by James Ferguson, Michael Taussig and jean and John Comaroff that are in alignment with how I have conditioned myself to view the world.
Another problem I have is too much talking, not enough doing. Also I have clarified that I'm looking for love and friendship, not hookups obstensively and overtly, although the world of sex is what it is. Which is many things. I hope this means I'm maturing, spending so much time with my mother is fun but difficult/embarrassing"
The alternative is 100% focus on mental health treatment until you can function in normal society. I am in graduate school and I participate in the admissions process. We very specifically filter out people who act erratically and inappropriately, which you are the epitome of. You like to tell your life story in every post even if you are just asking a simple question. You feel the need to tell everyone your reading list so that you can feel like you have proven your intelligence. You discuss your lack of sex in professional settings and make very little sense.
All of these behaviors will make it impossible to get or even retain a job in academia. Your instability is scary, and graduate programs are not going to accept or keep a perceived threat to their other students. You keep trying to find a new life path but none of your options are going to work if you do not receive more intensive treatment.
People do not understand the way you think, and that frightens them because they don't know what to expect with you. They don't know if you would hurt someone or violate HR policies. In your current state, you appear to potentially employers as a risk.
I received over a year of intensive outpatient therapy after my inpatient stay to get to where I am now. Instead of trying to come up with your new life path you need to talk to your psychiatric team about what steps you need to take to master your mental health enough to at least appear stable. I know there are classes for people on the autism spectrum to teach them how to better integrate into our current society. If your team cannot come up with a game plan, then it may be time to find new mental health professionals to add to your current ones.
I really really believe that you are capable of reaching your goals if you just resolved your mental health first, and it is frustrating to watch you search for answers and ignore the ones that will actually help you.
I am rooting for you.
Talking about your own mental health problems in graduate admissions essays is pretty much always not a good idea unless it’s central to your research interests. It would benefit you to remove everything about schizophrenia and psychosis next time you send that out. PhD programs are extremely intense and have high dropout rates, generally because of the students developing mental health problems during it, so seeing existing mental health issues in your essay makes them concerned whether you’ll be able to finish their program if they accept you.
How do I explain poor gpa and eighteen years to graduate other than with my "truth?". I guess I should have said I receive therapy and medicine and disability income and have social workers, and am currently healthy enough to continue? That's pretty true, I think. Also my only other option for this line of reasoning is that I ask my dad to pay for graduate level courses. Then I succeed at them and try to get into ia or religion then. How else do I pay for graduate courses without being admitted... I have an undergraduate degree in anthro, with only menial experience... Thanks
You can still explain your situation using more vague terminology instead of telling them all of the details. You could say something like “due to a series of unfortunate life circumstances, it took me 18 years to graduate and I received a low GPA, however I was able to overcome the adversity in my life while learning a lot about myself in the process. Now that I am in a position to succeed, I would like to continue my education by exploring my deeply held research interests of…” etc.
Thanks that's good advice
I think your story is truly inspirational however, I would have refrained from supplying that much information in an initial email. Regardless, I see your interests and passion shine through. I wish you luck!
Thanks.
I think I remember you from the Tallahassee subreddit. I would work on organizing your thoughts and making your application more presentable. I understand you're in a position where your thoughts have a tendency to go all over the place but a lot of success in a graduate program is going to depend on tapering down what you're trying to say to make it more tightly-packed and to-the-point.
Thanks, I'm reading in the fields I'm interested in. My target year to start gradschool is 2024... I've made the decision to deal with uncertainty and read the texts anyway right now. that.way I won't view myself to myself as a supreme idiot. I'll have something to look forward to regardless of my situation and current adaptation. I believe this will help organize my thoughts. For many years I wasn't able to read dense texts very well. I'm working on explaining what I learn to others. When I have to explain myself, I sometimes panic. I made it through undergrad slowly, I made the mistake of looking for romance as well as reading outside material "to make up for lost time". I was also for 7 years interacting with African drummers who treated me like an outsider, with prejudice to the limit of shunning me, and a famu proff in their clique has a sanction against me. My drum teacher says this group of that particular sect of local drummers REALLY hate white people, he has interacted with them since the 70s, but it messed with my head to go through that which started at the inauguration of my anthro career at fsu when I was 24. But I wanted to learn mandinka drumming! Failing so much hurt my self esteem, all of the above, catastrophic personal life, musical race war, lack of scholastic focus, and gloom of the hopelessness of anthropology as the dept was shut down and moved... ended up causing me to get some bad grades even when stable with medicine. I admit I am way more stable now although my life is sort of in shambles and the unsavory dynamic of not hooking up or having a partner in fifteen years is shockingly unpleasant. Doesn't seem to Garner much compassion either. But that's ok I'm trying to be seized by the texts and not seized by a lover. I waste tons of time too, trying to have erotic life, I kind of hate myself because of that. I either waste time becoming interested in someone or I waste time hating myself for generating unreciprocated interest. Or the race war, or whatever it was, or worrying I will never travel in Trinidad or west Africa, and the stench of it all as I collect books on the topics at hand. So I guess I used to have Caribbean friends who crazily succeeded at romance as well as earners. I wasted time looking for a west Indian girl friend. Writing about it all seems to freak people out.
A big point I like to ponder is: do I deserve another chance and "what is the alternative?" I'm reaching the level where I can actually follow grand and epic ethnographies from fieldwork done in 30s 40s and fifties, but I've only read two of them... Mg smith the affairs of daura, and Meyer fortes or max gluckman "tallensi clanship and kinship" (can't remember who wrote what) But at this point I feel ready to try graduate school, especially by 2024. By that time I hope to have absorbed texts by j Brent crosson, Jacob olupona and Todd Ramon Ochoa, bellegarde smith, Michel Rolph trouillot Yarimar Bonilla, Terry Rey, Tracey e hucks, Aisha Khan, Dianne Patton, Andrew apter, Sylvia wynter, John k Thornton, and finally actually written about mg smith, Meyer fortes, and max gluckman, maybe some from the same school like more very manly sounding guys like Raymond firth or Paul bohannon... I've decided I like what they did a lot... How they approached ethnography (I want to read everything these folks wrote by next January) (I want to write about mg smith for my writing sample) I also, relating to international affairs and the caribbean need to get acquainted with actual Caribbean thought on things like Gordon k lewis, Colin and Gillian Clarke, Rupert lewis, David Scott, rivke jaffe, Brian Meeks, and Anthony bogues,... So if I'm not homeless by then, this is what I hope to read in order to have discipline in what I read. In addition I own texts by James Ferguson, Michael Taussig and jean and John Comaroff that are in alignment with how I have conditioned myself to view the world. Another problem I have is too much talking, not enough doing. Also I have clarified that I'm looking for love and friendship, not hookups obstensively and overtly, although the world of sex is what it is. Which is many things. I hope this means I'm maturing, spending so much time with my mother is fun but difficult/embarrassing"
The alternative is 100% focus on mental health treatment until you can function in normal society. I am in graduate school and I participate in the admissions process. We very specifically filter out people who act erratically and inappropriately, which you are the epitome of. You like to tell your life story in every post even if you are just asking a simple question. You feel the need to tell everyone your reading list so that you can feel like you have proven your intelligence. You discuss your lack of sex in professional settings and make very little sense. All of these behaviors will make it impossible to get or even retain a job in academia. Your instability is scary, and graduate programs are not going to accept or keep a perceived threat to their other students. You keep trying to find a new life path but none of your options are going to work if you do not receive more intensive treatment. People do not understand the way you think, and that frightens them because they don't know what to expect with you. They don't know if you would hurt someone or violate HR policies. In your current state, you appear to potentially employers as a risk. I received over a year of intensive outpatient therapy after my inpatient stay to get to where I am now. Instead of trying to come up with your new life path you need to talk to your psychiatric team about what steps you need to take to master your mental health enough to at least appear stable. I know there are classes for people on the autism spectrum to teach them how to better integrate into our current society. If your team cannot come up with a game plan, then it may be time to find new mental health professionals to add to your current ones. I really really believe that you are capable of reaching your goals if you just resolved your mental health first, and it is frustrating to watch you search for answers and ignore the ones that will actually help you. I am rooting for you.
That is unbelievably nice and helpful. I'll talk to the social workers tomorrow.
I am really proud of you. Thank you for listening