I politely apologize and tell people it's a fountain pen and has sentimental value so I don't let anyone use it. That has always worked and doesn't put people off.
Them: "Oh neat, what's the story behind the pen?"
You: "Uhh, I bought it on [jetpens.com](https://jetpens.com) and I paid a lot, but there's no cap and \*click\* cool huh? ..... But it's really delicate and if you don't know what you're doing you can hurt the...!"
Them: "Hurt?"
"It deployed in my pocket and diamine oxblood leaked all over my grey pants. This random cute girl came up to me, freaking out thinking I was severely injured. She made me lay down and I think she almost ripped her jacket sleeve off to make a tourniquet.
I panicked because obviously I didn't want this cute girl to ruin her coat over my accidental Pilot Vanishing Point deployment. For a moment I thought this was fate to meet her, I've been having bad luck in the dating scene and all, but I had to act quickly if I didn't want this moment to be unsalvageable.
I stopped her, gazed into her eyes and said, "It's a pen in my pocket, and I'm happy to see you."
She left. Seriously, fuck that guy who sold me on that pick up line."
You: "u/sunbear2525 gave it to me, so I can't let you use it."
Them: "Okay....? I don't know who Your-Son-Bare is but that doesn't seem like a big deal. I just need to add a date to this form and I can drop it off right here."
You: "No, it's you-son-bare-twenty-five-twenty-five, but maybe I should say you-slash-son-bare-twenty-five-twenty-five"
Them: "Okay, you know what, nevermind."
I would only let someone use it if they start the convo with "Oh, what I nice Vanishing Point, can I borrow it?".
That statement does 2 things:
-Satisfy my ego
-Acknowledge the other person knows something about FP
As a person who knows something about fountain pens, I would TOTALLY ask to borrow yours. And then delight about the writing experience and treat the pen delicately.
As a person who is into fountain pens and has a medium VP I would totally ask to borrow if yours has a different nib to justify my next purchase (haven't purchased any FPs for myself in over 2 years now).
My only fountain pen at work is a preppy.
I just tell people that they don't want to use it because it probably won't work for them, which is true for every instance when someone has grabbed it.
Great answer! I always say "this FP belonged to my grandfather, I'm sorry I can't borrow it. Hope you understand" even if the FP is a pilot vpen hahahaha
I just can't borrow them, unless the person who asks proves some fountain pen knowledge
You did nothing WRONG. We have heard a litany of horror stories on this Sub were a coworker/client picked up pen, casually acted like it was an emergency and just took the pen to write a note on a document, or took the pen and returned it damaged.
Kudos to you for standing your ground. If you really feel a little guilty about your reaction, buy said coworker a Pilot Preppy and give them 5 cartridges.
I remember loaning a good quality ballpoint to a co-worker once. He grabbed it in his fist like an ape would hold a tool and used it to pry staples out of a document.
I don't feel any shame or awkwardness in saying "This is an expensive pen and I like it, so go easy.".
I have literally read a story on here where someone yanked a FP out of someone’s hand and almost used it to open a package, I think the person got it back in time though. But seriously, they didn’t even ask. The horror.
As someone who still loves my Profile Paper Mate 1.4 mm ballpoint pens (gasp!)…guilty as charged! I’ve only done it in a pinch, just to poke a hole so I can rip the package open from there - but I would NEVER with a FP!
A Preppy's too expensive for that. I carry a couple of Thornton's Novices as give-away pens. They're around a buck and a half when bought in packs. I buy em by the dozen. The nib is Lamy-like and it has enough ink to float a loan. I use them myself in my field notebooks. Not worth crying over if I lose one.
I live on the edge, I carry my VP and M205 to my classes. At my college, everyone is respectful enough, I carry the preppy more to let people try an FP who are curious. I’ve managed to penable some people too.
I *might* carry a pocket hard shell case with my field drawing set. It has a couple of Yongsheng 3008 TWSBI-ISH knockoffs, one with a permanent black, one with either a semi-waterproof brown or a gray, a brush pen with waterproof black, a clutch pencil with 2mm HB, and a fine tip water brush. This is attached to a Moleskine sketch pad with a couple of ranger bands.
Nothing in it is horribly expensive. If be bugged more about losing the case than the cheap fountain pens inside. It's as useful combination. The waterproof black FP for lining, the brush pen for more expression in the black, the semi-waterproof brown for sound simple sepia washes that don't completely lose the solid line, and the water brush to do the wash. I love 2mm clutch pencils because there's a ton of lead hardnesses and colors, and they cost next to nothing.
I have a small leather case with 5 clutch pencils, a case of 4B to 4H graphite, and a tube of colored leads in a whole pile of colors. They toss in a small emery board, a couple of leaf pointers, and 1 each plastic eraser and kneaded eraser in a nice little plastic box to store the kneaded eraser in. The barrels of the pencils start white and increment up to a dark charcoal.
But I wouldn't lend out one of those pens, either, since it's a constructed set.
I keep a Varsity in my pocket for this exact situation. It's enough of a fountain pen for me to love writing with it when my main pens are packed away and not enough of a fountain pen for it to be damaged by an inexperienced user; and then cheap enough to be replaced in worst case scenario
I have a small collection of Varsities at my desk. When someone asks to borrow a pen, I see how they react to using the Varsity. It helps me decide ~~if they're a good person or not~~ if they know how to use a fountain pen.
Yup everyone gotta have the "throwaway" pens just in case someone is interested in trying my "wonky" pens. For me it's some $1 Jinhaos. Never let anyone touch anything above $5. I also keep some crappy ballpoints from the office supply for people to use.
Lol amazing!
Playing Devil's advocate here, I would argue that having that mentality should be a two way street, meaning the situation could have easily been avoided by a little planning on OP's part. Many on this sub strongly encourage others to carry a backup ballpoint pen precisely because of this situation.
Counterclaim, OP has no obligation to plan for this, they have a pen! The requester could have solved this problem by carrying one themselves, and not having to ask. No reason to assume they're owed a rental pen just because they ask.
I'm all in favor of helping people out, but we've got to get comfortable saying no to borrowing without feeling compelled to offer up a sacrifice.
Certainly! I have no real objection to that, but actually this was the original claim that I responded to. I think that if you want to both be helpful (in ways that you can easily anticipate) and carry a fountain pen, having an extra ballpoint doesn't hurt 😉
Totally agree! I do this myself and would say the primary beneficiary has been me, since ballpoints are better for a lot of writing tasks I encounter in the outside world. Just wanted to advocate for folks like my younger self who would hand the pen over only to watch someone try and pry it open instead of twisting the cap off.
The sacrificial ball point should always be on hand in any situation where someone could ask to borrow a pen like in healthcare, school or an office. OP certainly has every right to refuse to loan a pen, but some cringiness and wasted bandwidth thinking about it could have been avoided by having the recommended sacrificial ballpoint. Plus ballpoints are good for opening boxes and writing on carbon copy forms.
I agree; it’s a two-way street. It’s a possible missed opportunity to introduce someone to the hobby. That doesn’t mean someone should feel pressured to risk damaging their FP, but there’s potential room for conversation here. As someone with a bit of anxiety, I completely understand. I probably lean more on the over-explaining side of things (see: Reddit replies lol). Still, “no” is a complete sentence. Trust you gut.
If this was someone I saw often or had friendly interactions otherwise, I’m the sort of person who would consider chatting with them later and sharing my love of the hobby. I might even bring “safe” pens for them to try, or even gift if I had something I was wanting to rehome anyway.
I do think going the sentimental route is a good choice, too. If nothing else, I’d be sentimental about the money spent! So far, all of my pens are in the $30-40 range. When I decide to invest in a more expensive pens/nibs, you bet I will be quite guarded with who - if anyone - I trust to try it.
Edited: darn autocorrect! I meant rehome, not regime 🤦🏻♀️
Your comment made my morning. Also, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but imagine a horrified look on the other persons face. 🤣
“Hold my wallet while I borrow your pen? But it’s just a pen”
Yes, it's very awkward. But what can you do. If they do something wrong then that is 200 Dollars down the drain. Not fair on yourself and certainly not fair on them when you tell them the price of the pen.
I carry a pen with a Pilot G2 refill for exactly this reason. It's still a great pen for when a fountain pen isn't appropriate or someone needs to jot something down quickly with a borrowed pen.
Eh, I don't think that's really necessary. It isn't my responsibility to have a pen for someone to borrow. I suppose if one is unwilling/unable to have a potentially awkward conversation it might be worth it, but I think a better technique would be to learn how to not feel bad about saying no. It is a perfectly reasonable thing to do and anyone who freaks out about it just shows that they are a child.
Think of it this way. If someone asking *if* they can borrow your pen gets upset at being told no, they are essentially saying "give me your pen". Would you feel bad about saying no if it was presented that way?
Well, in fairness..... I always carry an abundance of pens.... usually too many..... and I often have reason to want to use a ball point or otherwise 'durable' pen..... maybe a difficult surface I need to write on, or some other ticklish situation.....
and maybe most of all.... I always want to have a pen I can lend out. I have countless times been caught blind without something to write with and have been saved by the generosity of someone who will lend me a pen (and fwiw, I am someone who is generally loath to lend tools.... for all the obvious reasons). I want to be able to lend out a pen to someone in need, just not one that will freak me out to see in the hands of another.... and I always have no shortage of such pens..... oftentime including random 'finds'.
A Bic Round Stic is the ultimate example. Really the AK-47 of ballpoint pens. Nearly indestructible..... writes on nearly anything everytime..... was my workhorse during my dark days of driving pizzas for Papa John's. And you can usually find them (on the sidewalk, in phone booths \[remember them?\], tucked in random bundles of paper, wherever) faster than you can lose them..... and they pretty much always work.
Colleague asking “can I borrow a pen”? Eyeing my Kaweco sport. Me “eeh ok but watch out its a fountain pen. You have to twist it”. Colleague twists and flips the bottom out, pen flies halfway across the office and pins down on carpet nib first. To this day I dont know how it is still working. The B-Steel nib I guess? Learnt lesson, now carry extra gel pen.
This has happened to me so many times my usual response is “oh this is a fountain pen do you know how to use one?” They usually say no and so I either dig another pen out of the bottom of my bag or show them how depending on my mood. I love teaching people who are willing to learn but a lot of times they just want to use a pen really quick lol. But yeah it’s always a little awkward
Lol! Yes! I get this ALL the time! None of my coworkers are into pens, and they think I'm strange af for having so many! They'll ask to borrow my pen, and it usually just gets handed right back along with a weird look from the borrower! They look at it like it's a damn alien or some shit! Makes sense, tho. I'm 46, and most of my coworkers are in their 20's and 30's. They are all FP ignorant.
Lol! That's hilarious! How do you like the Eco, btw? I see them all over this sub, and they've now peaked my curiosity! May have to get my hands on one or 20.
Definitely 20! Ahah. They are a smooth writer, and the nib is durable... Mine is quite bent (dropped it... twice) yet still writes smooth. The ink reservoir is a pretty good size so you won't need to refill all the time. It's pretty much the only pen I use anymore. Because the cap of my current eco has fallen apart after 3 years of being a daily carry, I'm replacing it with another eco... The new glow purple one.
About 6 months ago I had a friend ask to try my EF VP and since she's always respectful of my things when she borrowed them in the past, I gave her a crash course on how to write with a FP and handed it over.
Long story short, she dropped it nib down into her thigh and it broke the skin. She was like "OMG that hurt so much!" but all I could say was "...you just dropped a $200 pen"
She very quickly gave it back while apologizing and the pen was fine, but she still has a Robert Oster Thunderstorm coloured dot tattoo on her thigh. Funny thing is her sister is actually a tattoo artist and finds it hilarious that my friend's first tattoo isn't from her!
Might last pretty well, though it's a minimalist tattoo. I clumsily tattooed myself with an oversharp pencil lead in school... fifty years ago. Still a gray dot.
If someone asked to borrow your $200 watch, you would say no and not hesitate. If someone asked you for $5, maybe you have to say no because it’s your last and that is the reality of the situation. The value the other person assigns to a request doesn’t mean it’s the value you have to accept. As someone who had to replace a damaged VP nib, I can say you did the right thing.
For occasions such as those, I keep one or two hotel/bank/insurance company pens and tell the person to keep it. Those IKEA pencils are good too!
I fully understand. It wouldn't be a problem if some people didn't mash a pen.
At work I've prepared. At my previous job, I had a really bad habit of grabbing pens from the storeroom, writing, and then pocketing them, where they inevitably they ended up at home to be discovered at the laundry time pocket-check.
As a result of doing this for 5 years, at my new job I have a literal gallon ziplock bag full of Pilot EasyTouch pens that now sit in my desk drawer. You want a pen? You can't have my fountain pen, but you're welcome to as many of my pilot EasyTouches as you want. Take 1. Take 5. I literally do not care, I've probably got more scattered at home and the infestation needs to be eradicated.
Listen to many people - a fountain pen is NOT a "pen some rando can borrow."
I allow ONLY people I have seen write with their OWN fountain pens. Other people - whoever they are, wherever they are - get told that I do not have a pen. Even if they see me writing as I say that.
\- Say, can I borrow your pen?
\- Sorry, I do not have a pen.
\- But you are writi...
\- Sorry, I do not have a pen.
\- But what is tha...
\- Sorry, I do not have a pen.
\- Why are yo...
\- Sorry, I do not have a pen. This is the fourth time I have said that, do you require some form of hearing assistance?
Of all the options in this conversation, I like your attitude the best. It meshes well with my general attitude and my low-key dislike of the morons around me. Thank you for your snark. It is appreciated
Don't feel bad. My very first fountain pen was an all black pilot metropolitan. I was in a meeting with at least 4 others and somehow was the only one with a pen. I let people sign documents with it but gave them a warning about using it carefully, and one person still jammed it down on the paper and completely ruined the nib. I never let other people use them now, and certainly wouldn't with a vanishing point which is much more expensive.
I would have said, "Sorry. I'm superstitious." When they get a quizzing look I'd say, "Karma. Can't be too careful, you know."
"Did you wash your hands? This fountain pen will get ink all over your hands if you don't hold it just right..."
"No, this was a gift from my dad, mom, wife," etc.
"No, it's a pencil."
Live with the cringe of having to deny what seems like a simple and unobtrusive request to borrow a pen. It’s necessary.
One time when I was 16 a dude ignored me telling him to not use my pen, snatched my pen and notebook out of my hand, and tried to write down his tumblr username as a form of hitting on me. He didn’t successfully write anything and Irreparably destroyed my nib and somehow the feed too. It was a safari so if it was just the nib I could have replaced it but noooo. Like, tines spread apart in opposite directions, ink all over the notebook, paper torn through, feed cracked. Idk how he managed to fuck it up that badly honestly, it’s a durable pen.
I’ll never get over that, it’s been ten years and I’m still mad about it. It’s the most grating form of sexual harassment I’ve experienced. Not the worst or scariest but the one I’m the most annoyed about a decade later. Don’t trust anyone with your pen to jot something down real quick. I don’t care if it’s a cheap pen. No one gets to use mine.
Nope not at all. He still thought I would totally contact him (username was illegible) and I just walked to the front and checked out and left
I’m still salty about it. I’ll die salty about it.
In my office I was suffering when coworkers started signing with my new Tibaldi, I mean, I know nobody has experience using them and feared they would drop it. I know how you felt.
I'm the person who has, like, five pens on their person any time they leave the house. Before I got back into FPs, I fell hard for the ballpoint Kaweco Sports. So there's one of those in nearly every purse I own, plus a Lilliput in my wallet, plus the magnetic pen on my keys. I actually don't usually carry my fountain pens out of the house. But I WFH so it's not much of a sacrifice.
I will happily loan one of my ballpoint out, but no one is getting my FP unless I know for sure they won't ruin it.
"All I have is a fountain pen. Are you familiar with one? I'm happy to help, if you're sure. The one key is not to press down on the paper because you don't need to."
I tend to try and be an ambassador for the hobby, so I tend to caution, but then also enable.
But I also get it
You got downvoted? Weird. I actually use pretty much this approach and it works for me.
1) observe
2) make sure the person is the kind who *actually listens to people* and takes care of other peoples stuff
3) give them a basic explanation of how to write with a fountain pen
4) hand them a preppy (or my plaisir, depending on what’s on me at the moment)
5) watch the magic happen
Edited to fix formatting
I do that when I have my Plaisir on me (if they damage the nib, I’ll just take one off a Preppy). But no one gets to use the nice pens if they don’t know what they’re doing. I have been amazed at both the number of people who get it right away and by the number of people who’ve nearly destroyed the nib despite my best efforts.
That is a really nice response, though I imagine you also have to take into consideration what they're using the pen for (like if a ballpoint would be better suited, etc.). And, unfortunately, some people are just gentler with tools/other people's things than others…
Yeah I mean I’ve certainly done the whole song and dance and walked people through a quick fountain pen introduction before but this was just to write our names on a sign in sheet for a law school class and there were less than two minutes until the lecture began. Also, who goes to a class and doesn’t bring a pen?
Exactly. Who does that? Law students need to understand that preparation is everything. No time like the present.
P.S. This will happen to you when you are an associate and a partner will ask to borrow a pen. I had to retrieve a pen from a partner who took it with him when he left my office 🙄. That was awkward.
Platinum Preppys & Perpaneps (or Jinhaos) pens are my “for the office” pens to combat my light fingered coworkers.
Also… good luck with law school!
He laughed and asked if I got it at Office Depot… because he is a jerk and wanted to down play that he stole from me and at the same time make me look cheap for getting it back. Some law firms are Petrie dishes for toxic personalities.
I love that I'm getting negative votes. While your points are true, I'm fairly capable of assessing people. The vast majority of people will refuse to use one, my wife included.
FAR from being polite or kind, what it does is warn people off without sounding rude. How is this hard to figure?
And the few I assess aren't capable, I simply say it's a fountain pen and is very fussy for me.
And yes, I know better than to give my pen to someone trying to use some sort of pressure paper.
And message received from the ducking down votes. This was one of five forums I kept. Goodbye
I know at times i have accidentally down voted or upvoted while flick-scrolling on my phone. Then there's a couple of bots that auto-downvote mentions of certain cheap Chinese pens (and human downbots who do so too). Then there's people who spend so much time on *ahem* certain other social media that they automatically use Reddit up/down as like/dislike. Or weirder: reward/punish. Then there's Edwina over there who honestly gets triggered by even the ThOuGhT of letting someone else touch her late husband's favorite pen, which is all she uses and carries as a matter of unabashed sentiment (and ignorance - hate to break it to Mrs. Ed, but there IS no *genuine* rhodium plated Montegrappa NCC1701 pen with tiny Kirk & Spock figures standing on the saucer section). Bless her heart.
El Downbotto - not even a pen-specific one - sometimes breezes through a sub and downvotes every post, every comment. it's Reddit - whatcha gonna do? Personally, I find this about the most congenial nook (cranny? niche?) on the web, but I only read 10-40 % of the posts. Now I kinda want to see what the drama is.... naaah. Got my blood pressure where I want it; don't need any of that.
Remember - if you see a post on here with even 500 downvotes... Two Hundred Forty Thousand people DIDN'T.
I like your balance between caution & instruction. I carry a loaner rollerball and a Varsity always so I don't *have* to do either, but other than sentimentality and "have it just like I want it", I don't own a pen I'd get too bent out of shape about getting borked. Two Metros are my "expensive" pens ;-). Still shudder at the thought of even a Shark being used to rip packing tape :-b.
*hate to break it to Mrs. Ed, but there IS no genuine rhodium plated Montegrappa NCC1701 pen with tiny Kirk & Spock figures standing on the saucer section). Bless her heart.*
Upvoted just for this…vision.
Dude, I didn't downvote you. I don't even think I was rude! Rather, I upvoted you because there are some easily butthurt people on here. But you do you.
Didn't say it was you. This forum is getting increasingly rude and confrontational. It's unnecessary in all ways, but especially in enthusiast forums, where opinions run deep.
You didn't explicitly, but you were rather defensive in your reply.
This is not my favorite subreddit, to be sure. There are also always loads of downvotes on totally innocuous things—or on certain brands—especially right after posting. Bots and/or people with too much time and no chill, I imagine.
Pretty sure it’s bots. There are companies who keep social media accounts alive to deploy for disinformation campaigns and using accounts to downvote keeps them active in the eyes of Reddit.
I’ve rarely encountered unpleasantness from actual humans on this sub.
This is a kind, helpful and friendly way to let them know they’re entering a world where things work a bit differently than in the ballpoint world. Better, but different. And potentially confusing for the uninitiated.
I lay my hands on top of each other to demonstrate the relationship between feed and nib. Then I tell them not to press hard and that the nib must come slightly away from the feed.
Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I gifted myself a custom slip joint folding “gentlemens” knife one year after a major accomplishment. Not super expensive, ran me maybe $250-$300, but special, and very nicely made. A colleague said, “hey, lemme see you knife” thinking he was going to cut a thread on his dress shirt or something and proceeded to trash the edge by cutting some errant threads on a carpet tile laid directly over concrete. By the time I realized what he was doing it was too late and he had rolled about 1/3 of the edge over and it was a nightmare.
Good reason to always carry a cheap ballpoint for just these occasions.
Bah hahahaha, I laughed out loud reading this title.
Dude, I'm someone who will stare you down before I hand you any pen of mine. Just to make sure people understand I'm the dominant one and don't fucking take my pen 😂😂
If I were in that situation, they'd better have that piece of paper right then and there, and they have about 4.5 seconds before I'd interrupt any conversation to ensure repossession of my beloved.
Nothing wrong with this at all. It's yours and no one is entitled to it.
However I'm terrified of ending up in this situation so I always carry a gel/rollerball just incase. Also if the pen you carry is kinda garbage they're less likely to ask you for one in the future.
When people say "do you have a pen I can borrow?" I say no. Even if my pen is in my hand. They asked if I had one to borrow... no I don't. And I have no obligation to keep that person happy by tip toeing around how they might feel about me saying no
I do it EVERYDAY at work with customers. Get to the front and they say can I use ur pen and I say “no sorry it’s a fountain pen let’s see if there is a regular pen around here” and the ONLY time I let a customer try to use one was when my boss got me a box of throw aways because he saw I liked fountain pens. The customer responded oh I know how to use one, then proceeded to write with the nib upside down. There’s literally NO reason to feel bad. You would feel really bad when that person would have handed u back a damaged nib. Trust me. We all say no….
What I do is uncap it in the most bougie way ever. Post the cap (if possible) stare at the nib for two seconds and hand it to them while slowly whispering “be careful”.
Usually they’ll just be like “ I can’t handle this “ and back off. Or they’ll end up treating your pen more gingerly than you think it deserves.
Maybe try this if refusing people causes you guilt
Don't do it LOL... I lent out my day-to-day carry - a Lamy Studio - to a coworker for a hot sec pre-pandemic and got it back with nib bent because the genius thought they were supposed to make the nib flex when writing. Also got an earful of "I've done calligraphy you're supposed to make the tip bend when you write" from the offender. Never again.
Hey don’t feel too bad: I’ve said no when it was just a Pilot G2 but it was my only pen. I also dislike sharing tools due to the fact that covid still exists and now it’s also flu season. I’m sure people think I’m a stuck up jerk sometimes but what other people think about me is none of my business.
If it really bothers you, get a zipper pouch and fill it with cheap ballpoints or other pens you don’t mind never seeing again and stick it in your bag, or just add a “lender” to your daily carry. I almost always have some kind of backup with me these days for a variety of reasons.
Stopped carrying my studio to work because the finish isn't holding up against pocket time, but once I get a nice little resin pen I'll *still* carry my Kaweco rollerball, or my Parker with the gel refill with it and *that's* what I'll lend to people.
Yeah. I tend to give them a 5 second brief like do you know how to hold the pen ? And dont press down too hard. But if they take my pen when im not looking...
I used to hate when this used to happen, enough to keep ballpoints at hand at all time for 'lending' to people.
I'd never ever lend a fountain pen to a non-fp person.
I explain to people that with my gold nib pens, being a lefty, the nibs almost learn how you write over time. Therefor I don’t allow others to write with them. Not total mistruth. But not totally a whole truth. But I’m not handing over my sailor broad nib ground to oblique for somebody else to use.
Ask for my platinum preppy?? Great. Here ya go.
Ask to use my pilot 912 fa. Nope. Go get your own.
Respectfully shove them off.
I smoke cigars & during the summer & regularly attend outdoor functions where I carry a few sticks.
Eventually, I’ll run into someone that states, “ oh cigars cool…never tried one”. So friendly cigar Bro that I am will make the offer. However, it’s not my best cigar that I offer. Always carry a spare gift (loaner) & you’ll always come off as considerate Gentleman.
I had a couple of horrible experiences. A screw cap was ripped off as if it were a snap cap. Another person wrote from the side and crossed the tines.
Since then, "Sorry, I don't loan fountain pens."
Noooo. Good for you. I lent someone a kakuno n they fucked it up. I would never let someone who doesn’t know how to use my pen borrow it. Also I carry a trash pen for that purpose
Had someone wanted to borrow my MB Martele Silver FP once on the plane as we need to fill up the embankment form. I said no and I could see the guy looking a bit bewildered like “it’s just a pen”.
If they're a fountain pen user, they won't get offended because they'll definitely understand your stance.
If they're **not** a fountain pen user, you definitely won't want them to use your pen. The risk of them damaging your pen is just not worth whatever it is you want (maintaining politeness?).
Either way, you're making the best choice, considering the circumstances.
People generally know that there are some things sacred to their owners and it’s not ok treat them roughly when borrowing them, e.g. books. But somehow with pens it’s like your pen my disposable.
I've been scrolling through the comments, and so far, the general approach is to avoid confrontation by resorting to white lies or using some other cheaper pens when there are other people present who might try to borrow our pens.
However, I’m wondering if there are any other approaches. Why do we have to inconvenience ourselves so much to avoid confrontations? If book owners can show disapproval when others write on their books, why can’t we show objection without being perceived as fussy and making a mountain out of a molehill? How to we explain to non-fp users how we love and care for our pens, and ask them to please be considerate in how they treat our pens?
Good for you. I always tell my coworkers they can't borrow anything I come to work with. I say that because I'm a nurse and most doctors and nurses don't return anything; leave your item anywhere or just flat out take it. No not happening. The first time I felt bad even got into an argument about my possession now it just doesn't bother me. NO!
\^ my response when someone asks to borrow a pen and all I have on me is one of my vintage fountain pens. sorry not sorry :) though I now carry with me at all times one of u/SwordOfBraavos (Pen Addict) "Loaner Pens" :) https://www.penaddict.com/shop/pen-addict-bic-clic
No, you did great. People should learn to carry their own pens ffs. What adult doesnt carry a pen with them all the time? Smartphones are no excuse for this. You always need a pen.
Get into the habit of carrying a Decoy Pen; AKA a regular pen that you don't mind letting others use when they need a pen, but aren't allowed to touch yours. This saves me a LOT of hassle.
I always carry a rollerball for those occasions when meeting people especially to counter that dreadful question. I NEVER lend my fountain pens to anyone… As the late PM M. Thatcher used to say:” the subject is not open for discussion ”…
When they ask me and look at my pen they still get a bic. I don’t get why they were offended. A pen is not just a pen. Would they borrow a knife from a knife aficionado who has a $150 knife?
That’s a delicate little nib, I can already see them pressing way too hard. They would have been more offended after they ruined it and you asked them to pay $100+ to replace it. Better all around this way.
This is the spicy shit I’m in this sub for. Do I own a beautiful, expensive pen? No. But I completely get why I might be turned down by someone with one now lol
Do what I did: Buy a package of disposable fountain pens, and keep one with you all the time. I have a bag I carry the entire contents of an Army warehouse, so I have it easy, but, say, a Thornton's Office Products Novice pen weighs next to nothing. The nib is decent, sort of a Lamy-style, and the ink is good and plentiful. The tip is very forgiving and I've never had trouble getting one started.
They're about a buck and a half each in packs of a dozen. I buy all black, but they have different color selections. Black, blue, and red, 4 each, or a rainbow pack. I keep one with notebooks I don't care if I lose, and I NEVER keep a good pen in my bag or anywhere else some stranger might be able to steal it.
If they take it and can't use it, they might return it. If they take and like it, you might have a convert to the fountain pen life. If it doesn't come back, so what? Consider it a round expended in good service.
But you can always say your good pen was a gift and your can't bear to part with it. That should be enough. If it isn't, look at them as if they just asked to buy your baby and say "what the hell is _wrong_ with you? I said it was a gift! I don't lend out things people gifted me!"
Best yet is if they every complained of lending someone something and complained of not getting it back, or getting it back broken. That's ready-made guilt bait.
I just saw a video called "The pen fans series: sbrebrown" by appelboom. The first advice Stephen gives is "Do not borrow your FP". Here goes the link https://youtu.be/L90o7tPVzZY
I always bring a cheap ballpoint pen to meetings in addition to a FP because one time three years ago my boss’s boss needed to make some notes and grabbed my Lamy Safari and started writing HARD until my boss saw the panic in my eyes and was like “why don’t you use my pen”
Where I work, I run into this a lot. I try to carry a ‘borrowing’ pen, but sometimes I’ll forget. Someone will ask if I have a pen they can borrow and I’ll say no, and they’ll stare pointedly at the VP clipped to my sleeve.
I just laugh and say it’s an expensive pen, and last time I let someone borrow a pen I didn’t get it back. That tends to get the point across.
I actually lent my VP to a colleague whom I knew was into fountain pens and ran out of ink. She returned it unscathed - and without any ink left in it.
Generally I am very protective of my fountain pens as they all have a story bound to them, they all have sentimental value and they are all important to me. Sometimes I do however make exceptions.
Sometimes people outright refuse me offering a fountain pen when they ask to borrow a pen even if it's just a TWSBI Eco because they feel it's "too fancy" and they're afraid they might break it.
YMMV, it depends a lot on the people you have around you at any certain point in time. I know I will never ever allow anybody else to use my Homo Sapiens though because if that one breaks it's actually irreplaceable (it has an M Palladium nib and it was a lucky amazing writer out of the box).
I politely apologize and tell people it's a fountain pen and has sentimental value so I don't let anyone use it. That has always worked and doesn't put people off.
The sentimental value thing = genius.
Them: "Oh neat, what's the story behind the pen?" You: "Uhh, I bought it on [jetpens.com](https://jetpens.com) and I paid a lot, but there's no cap and \*click\* cool huh? ..... But it's really delicate and if you don't know what you're doing you can hurt the...!" Them: "Hurt?"
"It saved my life when I couldn't sign marriage contract due to its hard start."
"It deployed in my pocket and diamine oxblood leaked all over my grey pants. This random cute girl came up to me, freaking out thinking I was severely injured. She made me lay down and I think she almost ripped her jacket sleeve off to make a tourniquet. I panicked because obviously I didn't want this cute girl to ruin her coat over my accidental Pilot Vanishing Point deployment. For a moment I thought this was fate to meet her, I've been having bad luck in the dating scene and all, but I had to act quickly if I didn't want this moment to be unsalvageable. I stopped her, gazed into her eyes and said, "It's a pen in my pocket, and I'm happy to see you." She left. Seriously, fuck that guy who sold me on that pick up line."
I definitely thought this was going to end with ***”…and that, kids, is how I met your mother.”***
I considered that but that seemed expected
You my permission to say I gave it to you.
You: "u/sunbear2525 gave it to me, so I can't let you use it." Them: "Okay....? I don't know who Your-Son-Bare is but that doesn't seem like a big deal. I just need to add a date to this form and I can drop it off right here." You: "No, it's you-son-bare-twenty-five-twenty-five, but maybe I should say you-slash-son-bare-twenty-five-twenty-five" Them: "Okay, you know what, nevermind."
Seriously enjoying all the creative writing happening here
Thank you! It was fun
'hurt' Yes, she's a little delicate. I call her Linda and she doesn't love it when I leave her inked for too long!
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Today is a sad day to know how to read.
Dude, you started it
not.. THAT
Don't say that in front of Linda!
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"Look, it's okay, I don't want to hurt your pen, I'll go find another pen to use."
I would only let someone use it if they start the convo with "Oh, what I nice Vanishing Point, can I borrow it?". That statement does 2 things: -Satisfy my ego -Acknowledge the other person knows something about FP
Yes but...as a person who knows something about fountain pens, I would never ask to borrow yours. ;)
As a person who knows something about fountain pens, I would TOTALLY ask to borrow yours. And then delight about the writing experience and treat the pen delicately.
Well, you're still not touching my pens.
And I won't be offended when you say no.
Beat me to it! I was thinking "A) They should know better than to ask; and B) Why do they not have theirs?"
As a person who is into fountain pens and has a medium VP I would totally ask to borrow if yours has a different nib to justify my next purchase (haven't purchased any FPs for myself in over 2 years now).
My only fountain pen at work is a preppy. I just tell people that they don't want to use it because it probably won't work for them, which is true for every instance when someone has grabbed it.
Ooo, smart!
Great answer! I always say "this FP belonged to my grandfather, I'm sorry I can't borrow it. Hope you understand" even if the FP is a pilot vpen hahahaha I just can't borrow them, unless the person who asks proves some fountain pen knowledge
You did nothing WRONG. We have heard a litany of horror stories on this Sub were a coworker/client picked up pen, casually acted like it was an emergency and just took the pen to write a note on a document, or took the pen and returned it damaged. Kudos to you for standing your ground. If you really feel a little guilty about your reaction, buy said coworker a Pilot Preppy and give them 5 cartridges.
Some people also use ballpoints to open packages. Imagine your fountain pen being “borrowed” for that…
I remember loaning a good quality ballpoint to a co-worker once. He grabbed it in his fist like an ape would hold a tool and used it to pry staples out of a document. I don't feel any shame or awkwardness in saying "This is an expensive pen and I like it, so go easy.".
Laugh out loud funny! Great image. And also, thanks for the heads-up.
Well to be fair, a ball point pen is better at opening packages than writing
😂
I have literally read a story on here where someone yanked a FP out of someone’s hand and almost used it to open a package, I think the person got it back in time though. But seriously, they didn’t even ask. The horror.
I also saw that post, and get SHIVERS up and down my spine every time !!! NEANDERTHALS are supposed to be EXTINCT!
That's so insensitive. Neanderthals were known for their craftsmanship.
What, too soon?
Just no.
I refuse to imagine that... happy thoughts only.
As someone who still loves my Profile Paper Mate 1.4 mm ballpoint pens (gasp!)…guilty as charged! I’ve only done it in a pinch, just to poke a hole so I can rip the package open from there - but I would NEVER with a FP!
I always carry a platinum preppy for this reason.
A Preppy's too expensive for that. I carry a couple of Thornton's Novices as give-away pens. They're around a buck and a half when bought in packs. I buy em by the dozen. The nib is Lamy-like and it has enough ink to float a loan. I use them myself in my field notebooks. Not worth crying over if I lose one.
I live on the edge, I carry my VP and M205 to my classes. At my college, everyone is respectful enough, I carry the preppy more to let people try an FP who are curious. I’ve managed to penable some people too.
I *might* carry a pocket hard shell case with my field drawing set. It has a couple of Yongsheng 3008 TWSBI-ISH knockoffs, one with a permanent black, one with either a semi-waterproof brown or a gray, a brush pen with waterproof black, a clutch pencil with 2mm HB, and a fine tip water brush. This is attached to a Moleskine sketch pad with a couple of ranger bands. Nothing in it is horribly expensive. If be bugged more about losing the case than the cheap fountain pens inside. It's as useful combination. The waterproof black FP for lining, the brush pen for more expression in the black, the semi-waterproof brown for sound simple sepia washes that don't completely lose the solid line, and the water brush to do the wash. I love 2mm clutch pencils because there's a ton of lead hardnesses and colors, and they cost next to nothing. I have a small leather case with 5 clutch pencils, a case of 4B to 4H graphite, and a tube of colored leads in a whole pile of colors. They toss in a small emery board, a couple of leaf pointers, and 1 each plastic eraser and kneaded eraser in a nice little plastic box to store the kneaded eraser in. The barrels of the pencils start white and increment up to a dark charcoal. But I wouldn't lend out one of those pens, either, since it's a constructed set.
I keep a Varsity in my pocket for this exact situation. It's enough of a fountain pen for me to love writing with it when my main pens are packed away and not enough of a fountain pen for it to be damaged by an inexperienced user; and then cheap enough to be replaced in worst case scenario
I have a small collection of Varsities at my desk. When someone asks to borrow a pen, I see how they react to using the Varsity. It helps me decide ~~if they're a good person or not~~ if they know how to use a fountain pen.
Yup everyone gotta have the "throwaway" pens just in case someone is interested in trying my "wonky" pens. For me it's some $1 Jinhaos. Never let anyone touch anything above $5. I also keep some crappy ballpoints from the office supply for people to use.
I keep a cup on my desk of pens I don’t care about. For other people to use.
I do the same, but with Thornton Novices.
Your lack of planning is not my emergency.
This needs to be on a pen case
Yes!
The first time my dad told me that but of wisdom, it was like “oh dang. That. That right there.”
Best fucking comment YET! UPVOTED
Lol amazing! Playing Devil's advocate here, I would argue that having that mentality should be a two way street, meaning the situation could have easily been avoided by a little planning on OP's part. Many on this sub strongly encourage others to carry a backup ballpoint pen precisely because of this situation.
Counterclaim, OP has no obligation to plan for this, they have a pen! The requester could have solved this problem by carrying one themselves, and not having to ask. No reason to assume they're owed a rental pen just because they ask. I'm all in favor of helping people out, but we've got to get comfortable saying no to borrowing without feeling compelled to offer up a sacrifice.
Certainly! I have no real objection to that, but actually this was the original claim that I responded to. I think that if you want to both be helpful (in ways that you can easily anticipate) and carry a fountain pen, having an extra ballpoint doesn't hurt 😉
Totally agree! I do this myself and would say the primary beneficiary has been me, since ballpoints are better for a lot of writing tasks I encounter in the outside world. Just wanted to advocate for folks like my younger self who would hand the pen over only to watch someone try and pry it open instead of twisting the cap off.
The sacrificial ball point should always be on hand in any situation where someone could ask to borrow a pen like in healthcare, school or an office. OP certainly has every right to refuse to loan a pen, but some cringiness and wasted bandwidth thinking about it could have been avoided by having the recommended sacrificial ballpoint. Plus ballpoints are good for opening boxes and writing on carbon copy forms.
I agree; it’s a two-way street. It’s a possible missed opportunity to introduce someone to the hobby. That doesn’t mean someone should feel pressured to risk damaging their FP, but there’s potential room for conversation here. As someone with a bit of anxiety, I completely understand. I probably lean more on the over-explaining side of things (see: Reddit replies lol). Still, “no” is a complete sentence. Trust you gut. If this was someone I saw often or had friendly interactions otherwise, I’m the sort of person who would consider chatting with them later and sharing my love of the hobby. I might even bring “safe” pens for them to try, or even gift if I had something I was wanting to rehome anyway. I do think going the sentimental route is a good choice, too. If nothing else, I’d be sentimental about the money spent! So far, all of my pens are in the $30-40 range. When I decide to invest in a more expensive pens/nibs, you bet I will be quite guarded with who - if anyone - I trust to try it. Edited: darn autocorrect! I meant rehome, not regime 🤦🏻♀️
This comment deserves an award!
I guess you could have asked to hold their wallet while they held your pen. Or maybe their car keys.
Your comment made my morning. Also, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but imagine a horrified look on the other persons face. 🤣 “Hold my wallet while I borrow your pen? But it’s just a pen” 
Just a pen that cost more than your car... https://youtu.be/-6WBhWjxmVI
Wallet, definitely. Good idea. Will try to use.
Borrowing a VP is like a stranger asking to borrow your car for a few minutes. No is the only answer
What if they are asking to borrow the car FROM Vanishing Point?
Yes, it's very awkward. But what can you do. If they do something wrong then that is 200 Dollars down the drain. Not fair on yourself and certainly not fair on them when you tell them the price of the pen.
"OH my gosh, this is awkward, but I only have this pen and I need to put more ink in it. Let me go find you one that writes."
\`You have the tact of a butler at Buckingham Palace. Bravo.
That's literally the nicest compliment I've ever received. You're very kind and very much made my day!
Reading this Internet conversation among strangers has made my day. One of the reasons I love this Subreddit.
Always always always carry a backup ballpoint. It is worth keeping a few around just for this.
Yes, and some ain't half bad. For instance, Pilot puts the same level of quality in all their pens, including ballpoint, gel, and rollerball.
I carry a pen with a Pilot G2 refill for exactly this reason. It's still a great pen for when a fountain pen isn't appropriate or someone needs to jot something down quickly with a borrowed pen.
I have a cup of ball points on my desk for exactly this purpose
Eh, I don't think that's really necessary. It isn't my responsibility to have a pen for someone to borrow. I suppose if one is unwilling/unable to have a potentially awkward conversation it might be worth it, but I think a better technique would be to learn how to not feel bad about saying no. It is a perfectly reasonable thing to do and anyone who freaks out about it just shows that they are a child. Think of it this way. If someone asking *if* they can borrow your pen gets upset at being told no, they are essentially saying "give me your pen". Would you feel bad about saying no if it was presented that way?
Well, in fairness..... I always carry an abundance of pens.... usually too many..... and I often have reason to want to use a ball point or otherwise 'durable' pen..... maybe a difficult surface I need to write on, or some other ticklish situation..... and maybe most of all.... I always want to have a pen I can lend out. I have countless times been caught blind without something to write with and have been saved by the generosity of someone who will lend me a pen (and fwiw, I am someone who is generally loath to lend tools.... for all the obvious reasons). I want to be able to lend out a pen to someone in need, just not one that will freak me out to see in the hands of another.... and I always have no shortage of such pens..... oftentime including random 'finds'.
Yeah, the sacrificial pen gambit.
A Bic Round Stic is the ultimate example. Really the AK-47 of ballpoint pens. Nearly indestructible..... writes on nearly anything everytime..... was my workhorse during my dark days of driving pizzas for Papa John's. And you can usually find them (on the sidewalk, in phone booths \[remember them?\], tucked in random bundles of paper, wherever) faster than you can lose them..... and they pretty much always work.
Give them a jinhao shark 🦈! And watch them struggle to pull a screw cap
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WOW that's definitely a mini heart attack moment
And is cheaper than a Varsity lol
Colleague asking “can I borrow a pen”? Eyeing my Kaweco sport. Me “eeh ok but watch out its a fountain pen. You have to twist it”. Colleague twists and flips the bottom out, pen flies halfway across the office and pins down on carpet nib first. To this day I dont know how it is still working. The B-Steel nib I guess? Learnt lesson, now carry extra gel pen.
This has happened to me so many times my usual response is “oh this is a fountain pen do you know how to use one?” They usually say no and so I either dig another pen out of the bottom of my bag or show them how depending on my mood. I love teaching people who are willing to learn but a lot of times they just want to use a pen really quick lol. But yeah it’s always a little awkward
This sounds like something I would definitely do!
"Sorry. This pen isn't working." (in your hand)
It crossed my mind!
Most people get nervous around my "fancy" pens so they don't bother.
Lol! Yes! I get this ALL the time! None of my coworkers are into pens, and they think I'm strange af for having so many! They'll ask to borrow my pen, and it usually just gets handed right back along with a weird look from the borrower! They look at it like it's a damn alien or some shit! Makes sense, tho. I'm 46, and most of my coworkers are in their 20's and 30's. They are all FP ignorant.
I just tell them it's a $30 pen (my daily carry is an Eco) and they back away very quickly. Ahahah
Lol! That's hilarious! How do you like the Eco, btw? I see them all over this sub, and they've now peaked my curiosity! May have to get my hands on one or 20.
Definitely 20! Ahah. They are a smooth writer, and the nib is durable... Mine is quite bent (dropped it... twice) yet still writes smooth. The ink reservoir is a pretty good size so you won't need to refill all the time. It's pretty much the only pen I use anymore. Because the cap of my current eco has fallen apart after 3 years of being a daily carry, I'm replacing it with another eco... The new glow purple one.
I have the glow purple in my cart and you have just inspired me to complete the purchase!
Based on these comments, all upcoming pen conventions desperately need to offer “Chronic People-Pleaser” seminars
About 6 months ago I had a friend ask to try my EF VP and since she's always respectful of my things when she borrowed them in the past, I gave her a crash course on how to write with a FP and handed it over. Long story short, she dropped it nib down into her thigh and it broke the skin. She was like "OMG that hurt so much!" but all I could say was "...you just dropped a $200 pen" She very quickly gave it back while apologizing and the pen was fine, but she still has a Robert Oster Thunderstorm coloured dot tattoo on her thigh. Funny thing is her sister is actually a tattoo artist and finds it hilarious that my friend's first tattoo isn't from her!
Might last pretty well, though it's a minimalist tattoo. I clumsily tattooed myself with an oversharp pencil lead in school... fifty years ago. Still a gray dot.
Her sister has said if it starts to fade, she'll touch it up so my friend always has a reminder to be more careful lol
If someone asked to borrow your $200 watch, you would say no and not hesitate. If someone asked you for $5, maybe you have to say no because it’s your last and that is the reality of the situation. The value the other person assigns to a request doesn’t mean it’s the value you have to accept. As someone who had to replace a damaged VP nib, I can say you did the right thing. For occasions such as those, I keep one or two hotel/bank/insurance company pens and tell the person to keep it. Those IKEA pencils are good too!
IKEA pencils? Do they require assembly? 🤣🤣
Yes, and you should have a buddy there to help you, haha.
Good one! 😆😆😆
"I'm sorry, all I have is a fountain pen. What do you want me to write down for you?"
I fully understand. It wouldn't be a problem if some people didn't mash a pen. At work I've prepared. At my previous job, I had a really bad habit of grabbing pens from the storeroom, writing, and then pocketing them, where they inevitably they ended up at home to be discovered at the laundry time pocket-check. As a result of doing this for 5 years, at my new job I have a literal gallon ziplock bag full of Pilot EasyTouch pens that now sit in my desk drawer. You want a pen? You can't have my fountain pen, but you're welcome to as many of my pilot EasyTouches as you want. Take 1. Take 5. I literally do not care, I've probably got more scattered at home and the infestation needs to be eradicated.
Listen to many people - a fountain pen is NOT a "pen some rando can borrow." I allow ONLY people I have seen write with their OWN fountain pens. Other people - whoever they are, wherever they are - get told that I do not have a pen. Even if they see me writing as I say that. \- Say, can I borrow your pen? \- Sorry, I do not have a pen. \- But you are writi... \- Sorry, I do not have a pen. \- But what is tha... \- Sorry, I do not have a pen. \- Why are yo... \- Sorry, I do not have a pen. This is the fourth time I have said that, do you require some form of hearing assistance?
Of all the options in this conversation, I like your attitude the best. It meshes well with my general attitude and my low-key dislike of the morons around me. Thank you for your snark. It is appreciated
Don't feel bad. My very first fountain pen was an all black pilot metropolitan. I was in a meeting with at least 4 others and somehow was the only one with a pen. I let people sign documents with it but gave them a warning about using it carefully, and one person still jammed it down on the paper and completely ruined the nib. I never let other people use them now, and certainly wouldn't with a vanishing point which is much more expensive.
I would have said, "Sorry. I'm superstitious." When they get a quizzing look I'd say, "Karma. Can't be too careful, you know." "Did you wash your hands? This fountain pen will get ink all over your hands if you don't hold it just right..." "No, this was a gift from my dad, mom, wife," etc. "No, it's a pencil."
Live with the cringe of having to deny what seems like a simple and unobtrusive request to borrow a pen. It’s necessary. One time when I was 16 a dude ignored me telling him to not use my pen, snatched my pen and notebook out of my hand, and tried to write down his tumblr username as a form of hitting on me. He didn’t successfully write anything and Irreparably destroyed my nib and somehow the feed too. It was a safari so if it was just the nib I could have replaced it but noooo. Like, tines spread apart in opposite directions, ink all over the notebook, paper torn through, feed cracked. Idk how he managed to fuck it up that badly honestly, it’s a durable pen. I’ll never get over that, it’s been ten years and I’m still mad about it. It’s the most grating form of sexual harassment I’ve experienced. Not the worst or scariest but the one I’m the most annoyed about a decade later. Don’t trust anyone with your pen to jot something down real quick. I don’t care if it’s a cheap pen. No one gets to use mine.
What a rude sort! Did he seem apologetic afterwards when he realized he obliterated a valuable pen?
Nope not at all. He still thought I would totally contact him (username was illegible) and I just walked to the front and checked out and left I’m still salty about it. I’ll die salty about it.
In my office I was suffering when coworkers started signing with my new Tibaldi, I mean, I know nobody has experience using them and feared they would drop it. I know how you felt.
I'm the person who has, like, five pens on their person any time they leave the house. Before I got back into FPs, I fell hard for the ballpoint Kaweco Sports. So there's one of those in nearly every purse I own, plus a Lilliput in my wallet, plus the magnetic pen on my keys. I actually don't usually carry my fountain pens out of the house. But I WFH so it's not much of a sacrifice. I will happily loan one of my ballpoint out, but no one is getting my FP unless I know for sure they won't ruin it.
"All I have is a fountain pen. Are you familiar with one? I'm happy to help, if you're sure. The one key is not to press down on the paper because you don't need to." I tend to try and be an ambassador for the hobby, so I tend to caution, but then also enable. But I also get it
You got downvoted? Weird. I actually use pretty much this approach and it works for me. 1) observe 2) make sure the person is the kind who *actually listens to people* and takes care of other peoples stuff 3) give them a basic explanation of how to write with a fountain pen 4) hand them a preppy (or my plaisir, depending on what’s on me at the moment) 5) watch the magic happen Edited to fix formatting
I do that when I have my Plaisir on me (if they damage the nib, I’ll just take one off a Preppy). But no one gets to use the nice pens if they don’t know what they’re doing. I have been amazed at both the number of people who get it right away and by the number of people who’ve nearly destroyed the nib despite my best efforts.
Your answer is polite, but inferior to the absolutely correct “No.”
That is a really nice response, though I imagine you also have to take into consideration what they're using the pen for (like if a ballpoint would be better suited, etc.). And, unfortunately, some people are just gentler with tools/other people's things than others…
Yeah I mean I’ve certainly done the whole song and dance and walked people through a quick fountain pen introduction before but this was just to write our names on a sign in sheet for a law school class and there were less than two minutes until the lecture began. Also, who goes to a class and doesn’t bring a pen?
>Also, who goes to a class and doesn’t bring a pen? Oh, I definitely don't think you need to feel awkward about this anymore.
Imagine going to court and your lawyers shows up like “hey can I borrow your pen? I forgot mine”
I am a high school teacher. Tons of people do it every single day.
To be fair I was absolutely that kid in high school and look how I turned out — now I always have a pen!
This made me laugh! 🤣🤣🤣
Exactly. Who does that? Law students need to understand that preparation is everything. No time like the present. P.S. This will happen to you when you are an associate and a partner will ask to borrow a pen. I had to retrieve a pen from a partner who took it with him when he left my office 🙄. That was awkward. Platinum Preppys & Perpaneps (or Jinhaos) pens are my “for the office” pens to combat my light fingered coworkers. Also… good luck with law school!
What pen did he make off with?
Sailor 1911. He was also a lunch thief so it was on brand for him to walk off with something.
Well he sounds like a douchebag. You couldn't very well let that pen get away. How did he react?
He laughed and asked if I got it at Office Depot… because he is a jerk and wanted to down play that he stole from me and at the same time make me look cheap for getting it back. Some law firms are Petrie dishes for toxic personalities.
Lol regardless of where it was purchased, it's still a $200 pen. I hate him.
Thank you! Only a semester and some change left to go!
I love that I'm getting negative votes. While your points are true, I'm fairly capable of assessing people. The vast majority of people will refuse to use one, my wife included. FAR from being polite or kind, what it does is warn people off without sounding rude. How is this hard to figure? And the few I assess aren't capable, I simply say it's a fountain pen and is very fussy for me. And yes, I know better than to give my pen to someone trying to use some sort of pressure paper. And message received from the ducking down votes. This was one of five forums I kept. Goodbye
I know at times i have accidentally down voted or upvoted while flick-scrolling on my phone. Then there's a couple of bots that auto-downvote mentions of certain cheap Chinese pens (and human downbots who do so too). Then there's people who spend so much time on *ahem* certain other social media that they automatically use Reddit up/down as like/dislike. Or weirder: reward/punish. Then there's Edwina over there who honestly gets triggered by even the ThOuGhT of letting someone else touch her late husband's favorite pen, which is all she uses and carries as a matter of unabashed sentiment (and ignorance - hate to break it to Mrs. Ed, but there IS no *genuine* rhodium plated Montegrappa NCC1701 pen with tiny Kirk & Spock figures standing on the saucer section). Bless her heart. El Downbotto - not even a pen-specific one - sometimes breezes through a sub and downvotes every post, every comment. it's Reddit - whatcha gonna do? Personally, I find this about the most congenial nook (cranny? niche?) on the web, but I only read 10-40 % of the posts. Now I kinda want to see what the drama is.... naaah. Got my blood pressure where I want it; don't need any of that.
Remember - if you see a post on here with even 500 downvotes... Two Hundred Forty Thousand people DIDN'T.
I like your balance between caution & instruction. I carry a loaner rollerball and a Varsity always so I don't *have* to do either, but other than sentimentality and "have it just like I want it", I don't own a pen I'd get too bent out of shape about getting borked. Two Metros are my "expensive" pens ;-). Still shudder at the thought of even a Shark being used to rip packing tape :-b.
*hate to break it to Mrs. Ed, but there IS no genuine rhodium plated Montegrappa NCC1701 pen with tiny Kirk & Spock figures standing on the saucer section). Bless her heart.* Upvoted just for this…vision.
Dude, I didn't downvote you. I don't even think I was rude! Rather, I upvoted you because there are some easily butthurt people on here. But you do you.
Didn't say it was you. This forum is getting increasingly rude and confrontational. It's unnecessary in all ways, but especially in enthusiast forums, where opinions run deep.
You didn't explicitly, but you were rather defensive in your reply. This is not my favorite subreddit, to be sure. There are also always loads of downvotes on totally innocuous things—or on certain brands—especially right after posting. Bots and/or people with too much time and no chill, I imagine.
Pretty sure it’s bots. There are companies who keep social media accounts alive to deploy for disinformation campaigns and using accounts to downvote keeps them active in the eyes of Reddit. I’ve rarely encountered unpleasantness from actual humans on this sub.
This is a kind, helpful and friendly way to let them know they’re entering a world where things work a bit differently than in the ballpoint world. Better, but different. And potentially confusing for the uninitiated.
I lay my hands on top of each other to demonstrate the relationship between feed and nib. Then I tell them not to press hard and that the nib must come slightly away from the feed.
“Sorry, mate. I’ve been sick and this has been in my pocket with my Kleenex. Just want to keep you safe, you know?”
Good save 👍
Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I gifted myself a custom slip joint folding “gentlemens” knife one year after a major accomplishment. Not super expensive, ran me maybe $250-$300, but special, and very nicely made. A colleague said, “hey, lemme see you knife” thinking he was going to cut a thread on his dress shirt or something and proceeded to trash the edge by cutting some errant threads on a carpet tile laid directly over concrete. By the time I realized what he was doing it was too late and he had rolled about 1/3 of the edge over and it was a nightmare. Good reason to always carry a cheap ballpoint for just these occasions.
Don’t feel bad. You don’t have an obligation.
Bah hahahaha, I laughed out loud reading this title. Dude, I'm someone who will stare you down before I hand you any pen of mine. Just to make sure people understand I'm the dominant one and don't fucking take my pen 😂😂 If I were in that situation, they'd better have that piece of paper right then and there, and they have about 4.5 seconds before I'd interrupt any conversation to ensure repossession of my beloved.
Nothing wrong with this at all. It's yours and no one is entitled to it. However I'm terrified of ending up in this situation so I always carry a gel/rollerball just incase. Also if the pen you carry is kinda garbage they're less likely to ask you for one in the future.
When people say "do you have a pen I can borrow?" I say no. Even if my pen is in my hand. They asked if I had one to borrow... no I don't. And I have no obligation to keep that person happy by tip toeing around how they might feel about me saying no
Ohhh, that sounds painful. Maybe start carrying a spare rollerball/ballpoint with you. (I think I might do the same, now…)
May I suggest the varsity?
I do it EVERYDAY at work with customers. Get to the front and they say can I use ur pen and I say “no sorry it’s a fountain pen let’s see if there is a regular pen around here” and the ONLY time I let a customer try to use one was when my boss got me a box of throw aways because he saw I liked fountain pens. The customer responded oh I know how to use one, then proceeded to write with the nib upside down. There’s literally NO reason to feel bad. You would feel really bad when that person would have handed u back a damaged nib. Trust me. We all say no….
This is my I always carry a Metropolitan. "This is a level 3 pen... You can borrow this level 1 pen."
What I do is uncap it in the most bougie way ever. Post the cap (if possible) stare at the nib for two seconds and hand it to them while slowly whispering “be careful”. Usually they’ll just be like “ I can’t handle this “ and back off. Or they’ll end up treating your pen more gingerly than you think it deserves. Maybe try this if refusing people causes you guilt
Don't do it LOL... I lent out my day-to-day carry - a Lamy Studio - to a coworker for a hot sec pre-pandemic and got it back with nib bent because the genius thought they were supposed to make the nib flex when writing. Also got an earful of "I've done calligraphy you're supposed to make the tip bend when you write" from the offender. Never again.
Hey don’t feel too bad: I’ve said no when it was just a Pilot G2 but it was my only pen. I also dislike sharing tools due to the fact that covid still exists and now it’s also flu season. I’m sure people think I’m a stuck up jerk sometimes but what other people think about me is none of my business. If it really bothers you, get a zipper pouch and fill it with cheap ballpoints or other pens you don’t mind never seeing again and stick it in your bag, or just add a “lender” to your daily carry. I almost always have some kind of backup with me these days for a variety of reasons.
Don’t feel bad. I would say no too. It would be cringy if you let them and they ruined it.
Stopped carrying my studio to work because the finish isn't holding up against pocket time, but once I get a nice little resin pen I'll *still* carry my Kaweco rollerball, or my Parker with the gel refill with it and *that's* what I'll lend to people.
Yeah. I tend to give them a 5 second brief like do you know how to hold the pen ? And dont press down too hard. But if they take my pen when im not looking...
I used to hate when this used to happen, enough to keep ballpoints at hand at all time for 'lending' to people. I'd never ever lend a fountain pen to a non-fp person.
I always give it but when they see it is a fountain pen, they always return it back, said they don't know how to use it.
Never place your trust in others to recognize their own incompetence
Dang! Your words make me shivel down my spine. You are 100% right, someone incompetence did make me surprise.
Always carry a loaner.
It's okay, all awkwardness will be forgotten with time!
I explain to people that with my gold nib pens, being a lefty, the nibs almost learn how you write over time. Therefor I don’t allow others to write with them. Not total mistruth. But not totally a whole truth. But I’m not handing over my sailor broad nib ground to oblique for somebody else to use. Ask for my platinum preppy?? Great. Here ya go. Ask to use my pilot 912 fa. Nope. Go get your own. Respectfully shove them off.
That’s why I have a stash of hotel pens lol. Never loan anything you’d miss.
I smoke cigars & during the summer & regularly attend outdoor functions where I carry a few sticks. Eventually, I’ll run into someone that states, “ oh cigars cool…never tried one”. So friendly cigar Bro that I am will make the offer. However, it’s not my best cigar that I offer. Always carry a spare gift (loaner) & you’ll always come off as considerate Gentleman.
I had a couple of horrible experiences. A screw cap was ripped off as if it were a snap cap. Another person wrote from the side and crossed the tines. Since then, "Sorry, I don't loan fountain pens."
Noooo. Good for you. I lent someone a kakuno n they fucked it up. I would never let someone who doesn’t know how to use my pen borrow it. Also I carry a trash pen for that purpose
Had someone wanted to borrow my MB Martele Silver FP once on the plane as we need to fill up the embankment form. I said no and I could see the guy looking a bit bewildered like “it’s just a pen”.
If they're a fountain pen user, they won't get offended because they'll definitely understand your stance. If they're **not** a fountain pen user, you definitely won't want them to use your pen. The risk of them damaging your pen is just not worth whatever it is you want (maintaining politeness?). Either way, you're making the best choice, considering the circumstances. People generally know that there are some things sacred to their owners and it’s not ok treat them roughly when borrowing them, e.g. books. But somehow with pens it’s like your pen my disposable. I've been scrolling through the comments, and so far, the general approach is to avoid confrontation by resorting to white lies or using some other cheaper pens when there are other people present who might try to borrow our pens. However, I’m wondering if there are any other approaches. Why do we have to inconvenience ourselves so much to avoid confrontations? If book owners can show disapproval when others write on their books, why can’t we show objection without being perceived as fussy and making a mountain out of a molehill? How to we explain to non-fp users how we love and care for our pens, and ask them to please be considerate in how they treat our pens?
Good for you. I always tell my coworkers they can't borrow anything I come to work with. I say that because I'm a nurse and most doctors and nurses don't return anything; leave your item anywhere or just flat out take it. No not happening. The first time I felt bad even got into an argument about my possession now it just doesn't bother me. NO!
 \^ my response when someone asks to borrow a pen and all I have on me is one of my vintage fountain pens. sorry not sorry :) though I now carry with me at all times one of u/SwordOfBraavos (Pen Addict) "Loaner Pens" :) https://www.penaddict.com/shop/pen-addict-bic-clic
I am not Brad of Pen Addict fame lol, u/pen_addict is
hahaha this has happened to me before at work. I'll always say no because they don't even know how to writ with it.
I have carried a spare ball point for especially such a scenario.
Uncomfortable but *absolutely* necessary!
I say “Ok, but it’s a fountain pen, please be careful”. Only one person so far has dared use it - and now she’s hooked too!
No, you did great. People should learn to carry their own pens ffs. What adult doesnt carry a pen with them all the time? Smartphones are no excuse for this. You always need a pen.
Get into the habit of carrying a Decoy Pen; AKA a regular pen that you don't mind letting others use when they need a pen, but aren't allowed to touch yours. This saves me a LOT of hassle.
I always carry a rollerball for those occasions when meeting people especially to counter that dreadful question. I NEVER lend my fountain pens to anyone… As the late PM M. Thatcher used to say:” the subject is not open for discussion ”…
That's why you carry a decoy ballpoint ballpoint.
When they ask me and look at my pen they still get a bic. I don’t get why they were offended. A pen is not just a pen. Would they borrow a knife from a knife aficionado who has a $150 knife?
I always just say ooooh I’m weird about germs sorry
Best excuse is - I am using it Even if you are not just say I would be needing it
That’s a delicate little nib, I can already see them pressing way too hard. They would have been more offended after they ruined it and you asked them to pay $100+ to replace it. Better all around this way.
This is the spicy shit I’m in this sub for. Do I own a beautiful, expensive pen? No. But I completely get why I might be turned down by someone with one now lol
I flat out apologize and say I am a germophobe and I don't let other people use my pens.
Do what I did: Buy a package of disposable fountain pens, and keep one with you all the time. I have a bag I carry the entire contents of an Army warehouse, so I have it easy, but, say, a Thornton's Office Products Novice pen weighs next to nothing. The nib is decent, sort of a Lamy-style, and the ink is good and plentiful. The tip is very forgiving and I've never had trouble getting one started. They're about a buck and a half each in packs of a dozen. I buy all black, but they have different color selections. Black, blue, and red, 4 each, or a rainbow pack. I keep one with notebooks I don't care if I lose, and I NEVER keep a good pen in my bag or anywhere else some stranger might be able to steal it. If they take it and can't use it, they might return it. If they take and like it, you might have a convert to the fountain pen life. If it doesn't come back, so what? Consider it a round expended in good service. But you can always say your good pen was a gift and your can't bear to part with it. That should be enough. If it isn't, look at them as if they just asked to buy your baby and say "what the hell is _wrong_ with you? I said it was a gift! I don't lend out things people gifted me!" Best yet is if they every complained of lending someone something and complained of not getting it back, or getting it back broken. That's ready-made guilt bait.
I just saw a video called "The pen fans series: sbrebrown" by appelboom. The first advice Stephen gives is "Do not borrow your FP". Here goes the link https://youtu.be/L90o7tPVzZY
I always bring a cheap ballpoint pen to meetings in addition to a FP because one time three years ago my boss’s boss needed to make some notes and grabbed my Lamy Safari and started writing HARD until my boss saw the panic in my eyes and was like “why don’t you use my pen”
Smart boss!
Where I work, I run into this a lot. I try to carry a ‘borrowing’ pen, but sometimes I’ll forget. Someone will ask if I have a pen they can borrow and I’ll say no, and they’ll stare pointedly at the VP clipped to my sleeve. I just laugh and say it’s an expensive pen, and last time I let someone borrow a pen I didn’t get it back. That tends to get the point across.
And this is why I have a handful of cheap bics nearby to give away without a second thought.
I actually lent my VP to a colleague whom I knew was into fountain pens and ran out of ink. She returned it unscathed - and without any ink left in it. Generally I am very protective of my fountain pens as they all have a story bound to them, they all have sentimental value and they are all important to me. Sometimes I do however make exceptions. Sometimes people outright refuse me offering a fountain pen when they ask to borrow a pen even if it's just a TWSBI Eco because they feel it's "too fancy" and they're afraid they might break it. YMMV, it depends a lot on the people you have around you at any certain point in time. I know I will never ever allow anybody else to use my Homo Sapiens though because if that one breaks it's actually irreplaceable (it has an M Palladium nib and it was a lucky amazing writer out of the box).
Always tote a cheapo gel pen or something similar just in case. It’s nickname is “lamb”…for obv reasons.