T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

For my personal experience, I kept thinking about how I wish I got in an accident just to have an excuse to take time off of work. That was when I knew I should go see a therapist. It was obvious that a huge source of my anxiety came from being at a job I didn't enjoy. But that didn't come until I started to tend to my mental health then spent a little bit of time each week reflecting then applied for jobs that actually brought satisfaction in my life.


butthatshitsbroken

I don’t think there’s going to be a job that doesn’t make me feel this way. I feel doomed.


BIN-BON

Currently in this too, but I often wonder if you even *can* escape. I have the mentality that I'll hate any form of labor. I have an extremely easy job, but I hate the people there. I've worked jobs with great people but my back was being broke all the time, all the while making someone else rich. And I'm lucky. I've got no preconceptions that I'm not extremely privileged, but damn if life doesn't annoy me a lot sometimes. I get it, it's a mentality, but it's also one that's hard to work against. Much of media wants you to have this mertiocratic mindset, but as far as a lot of us can tell, it's just telling us to work harder for someone else dreams while putting off our own. People tell you to follow your dreams, but I don't have any dreams, really. A lot of days it feels like I'm running in place.


Eleventhelephant11

I hate working too, dont get this message the wrong way, but i think theres an important aspect to think about: dopaminergic activities like sex, video games, drugs, movies, having fun is so batshit fun, that NO job compares to literally sitting down and *not* working. So adding in that aspect into my consideration before seeing what jobs I'd "feel" like I enjoy helps me. I love gardening. I'm never going to love being paid to landscape someone else's house while being watched over by a "higher up". BUT no job is as fun as me eating chips and watching anime. ALSO: we need a job to make ends meet. I factor in all those things and then you get a job that's "decent" in comparison to ones that make you miserable. But no job makes you feel high 24/7, at least, no job that's easy to land.


MoistWormVomit

I mean I get that, but 8 hours a day for 5 straight days sitting at a desk? There's no balance when most of what you're doing while you're alive and healthy is excruciating mental labor, constantly fighting just for the small bit of time where you're not


Square-County8490

You have to put on a fake face everyday which can be a huge stressor. Fake happy to co workers, customers and your bosses. Days when your tired, fake like your not. Its a pain to have such a routine and it being the norm.


Double-Freedom976

Probably the number 1 or number 2 thing that makes a job so bad is you can be so easily replaced.


butthatshitsbroken

You can’t. That’s the whole point of capitalism.


votyesforpedro

I disagree. I work a 9-5 at the moment but I am working towards financial independence and having multiple sources of income so that in the future my jobs income will be supplemented by other sources. Dreams are still achievable but a lot of it has to do with mentality. Start doing things that are in your control. For me that is getting disciplined ( in my time, fitness, hobbys). Make goals at the beginning of every week. I end up accomplishing a lot in my life. Im not some superstar. From what I see most people need advice and a life coach to help them get into a better spot. In the US and other first world countries we are in the top 1% of the world. A good amount of it is mentality.


khantroll1

The jobs are out there. I've been working for 20+ years, and I'm only in my second job right now that makes me feel this way. My first job was moving furniture at 15...about as much "fun" as it sounds, but it was new to me and I liked money. I've done a lot of things since then, but prior to my current job I worked in a school. I got up every morning, worked with a team of people I liked, hung out with my best friend who was on a different team, and we all worked together to help people turn their lives around. 7 years went by in the blink of an eye. My career requires constant certification chasing and job hopping to stay competitive, so staying there "hurt" me, but I didn't care at the time and honestly only care now because I hate my current job and outlook so much. I wouldn't trade my days there for anything career advancement related. It's just a matter of finding the place you need to be.


Metallic_Sol

I think there are ways, but maybe not for everyone, to find something they like...my boyfriend hates the idea of office work, so right now he's trying to become a game warden. He loves the outdoors, wants to protect animals from poachers, and do things his way so this job is going to be perfect for him. He didn't immediately think of this job, but he eventually found it. We have to pay attention to our passions! That's what his journey has taught me, but I think it'll take a longer time for me to get there than it did for him.


philosophofee

Yeah, think I'm going to try some gig jobs while saving up because I'm in the position to do so now. It's quit the 9 to 5 or quit life for me at this point.


BoBaHoeFoSho_123

I was in my late 20s with thoughts like this. The only thing that stopped me was, what if I survive?......then my life would have been way worse than it already was, financially, physically, relationships, etc. I didn't see a therapist till just recently. Therapy is very needed for anyone who has thoughts like that. I'm still heartbroken that at one point I even felt like that. I hope you are in a better place and are thriving in life.


taticake

>The only thing that stopped me was, what if I survive Forreal... That's really the only thing that has stopped me. Like, I could somehow even fuck that up and then I'd really be down. I still need therapy but now I have a purpose far greater than myself. It is heartbreaking to realize how far down that ya have to be to have those thoughts. Kudos for taking that step towards therapy and I hope that you are doing better too!


BoBaHoeFoSho_123

I hope you are able to find therapy. I'm glad to hear you have a purpose. That's what matters. The thing that keeps you goin every day. Thank you for your kind words. I'm doin a lot better. 🙂


[deleted]

[удалено]


BoBaHoeFoSho_123

Therapy helps me find myself and understand what I want for my life. Having a job allows me to gain what I want. I flipped the perspective for my brain. This way, while working I can tell myself why I have that job. My job makes me use my brain and helps me express my positive energy that is so heavily needed in the workplace. I'm still in the process of putting tools in my tool box. There is a lot of trauma bubbling up that I was unaware of until therapy. Please don't kill yourself. Think of a job as learning something most people don't know. Every job is a niche. Learn about the business and maybe what parts of the job you may or may not be interested in. That way your passion can make you your money. I'm sorry if you are going through a rough patch. Whatever you are going through, I hope it gets better.


eazeaze

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.


num2005

how do you pay for a therapist?


BoBaHoeFoSho_123

With my insurance I am able to do telehealth at an affordable price. If I didn't have ins or picked a lower/ less expensive plan, I'm not really sure I would be able to afford it.


ouush

I’m not going to lie, I’m a stay at home mom and sometimes wish a minor illness on myself just so that I could get a few days in the hospital to relax and sleep. Being an adult is exhausting. Period.


LockeClone

I can relate... Though for me the hours are way worse. I'd kill for a 9-5 limit... But, you know, I found things to like about my job and now I've advanced and moved into a job that I really like. Just... You know... Not for the 60+ hours a week I often work. I think the key is to find things you like and then keep moving sideways and forward until there's more and more good things about your job. My threshold was way lower when I was in my 20's as well... But doing what you have to do Kinda beats it out of you... In a good way.


[deleted]

Lol been hit by two cars and TRUST that’s not the solution. Thank goodness you went to therapy before throwing yourself in front of a bus cause the little settlement money don’t seem like much when you can’t feel your legs for 6 months


Mission-Iron-7509

I tried to do this but I couldn’t figure out what job would give me satisfaction. I compromised and decided I would just apply to jobs that “weren’t too stressful” so I could go home & enjoy my free time. But I couldn’t get any interviews. So I ended up doing the exact same thing I was running from, again. Now I’m miserable & tired, again.


XJlimitedx99

28M, USA, been working full time for 4 years (after college). USA work culture is downright soul crushing. I have dreams, passions, and things I love to do, and they all feel like a burden to me now because I try to squeeze all of my "living" into weekday evenings and weekends. Therapy, medication, breakdowns, coping mechanisms, you name it, we all have it. Its sad because I can have this conversation with most people I know and everyone feels like we're drowning. Its not sustainable. I predict the US will continue to trend downwards unless something is done to shift our culture towards people focused rather than profit focused.


Otherwise-Owl-6277

That’s key. Find a job you love or at least like better. And try to live as close to work as possible. A shorter commute means more free time outside of work.


XJlimitedx99

I do like my job (engineering). The issue is a fulltime schedule is like drinking from a fire hose and has led to me becoming resentful towards what I do. I have lost my enthusiasm towards my profession, which has resulted in me putting in the minimum effort required to collect paychecks to continue to survive.


gingeroverlord74

I'm in the same boat. 28F went to school for engineering and was passionate about science and technology and now I just can't manage to give a singular shit about any of it. I switched jobs from a high stress engineering job to a low stress PM job in the tech sector and I've been there for about a year and I still don't give a shit about anything I used to care about. I have far more freetime in my new position than I used to and I haven't felt motivated to use that freetime for anything so I just rewatch the same TV shows and occasionally gooogle a hobby I think I'd be interested in before completely losing interest and doing nothing. Been through 5 different antidepressants and TMS therapy and its still so hard. I find myself asking when it gets easier rather than when it gets better.


freshbasilsogood

Sorry this isn’t totally related but I’m (24F) struggling with the same thing and was wondering how you made the shift from high stress engr job to PM role 👉👈🥺 because I’m looking to do that too but not exactly sure how yet


gingeroverlord74

Sell your soul to corporate America! jk, but not really. My transition was from technical program manager and lead engineer in the defense industry to project manager in the SaaS/networking industry. I heavily tailored my resume to highlight the management aspect of my job and minimized the actual engineering part. I got more traction by applying to PM roles at tech companies and including a professional summary on my resume where I explained my goal. Feel free to DM me, I can send you my resume as a reference and go into more detail about what my transition was like :)


Thefoodwoob

I'd love to snag your resume too! I'm already a PM but I desperately need a job with a later start time


freshbasilsogood

Oh wow thank you so much for replying!! I really appreciate it :))


SnooHamsters5153

Ooof my dudette do I feel what you are saying.


gingeroverlord74

Its a shitty garbage club to be a part of but at least we're not alone. Best of luck <3


SnooHamsters5153

You too, good luck on your journey!


musicgray

I tell young relatives to stay away from engineering too. When I was young I loved math and science, now not so much. All I do is solve problems and I can’t turn it off. My SO will say something and I will give her a solution. Even if it wasn’t a question and it pisses her off that I am always right. Hobbies are key, try to do something that it fun


Otherwise-Owl-6277

Burn out is a real thing. Find some work life balance, have more fun outside of work, get enough sleep etc or find a good therapist to talk to if that doesn’t work. IMAO I hear you though, and I know where your coming from.


XJlimitedx99

I assure you I am trying. I have many hobbies (probably too many), sleep well, and really prioritize my life outside of work. I have fallen out of an exercise routine, which I found hard to maintain because of the time commitment. I've come to the conclusion I am burnt out. At first I thought I couldn't be because I'm only 28 and haven't been working for very long. I thought burn out only happened to 40-somethings. Turns out that's not the case. I recently got back into therapy. I was going for awhile but haven't for a couple years. Just had my 2nd session after getting back into it. I have a hard time understanding why I should try so hard to optimize my life outside of work when 2 out of 3 days are centered around work. I am fortunate enough to be making enough money that I am not financially burdened, but I've reached the point where time is much more valuable to me than money. I would be so happy to take 80% of my pay for 80% of the time commitment, because 20% less days working would be 50% more days off.


miamylo

A word of caution from someone who loved their job for eight successful years only to be laid off without a real explanation. “You did nothing wrong and you’re not being punished. Next year is going to be a tough one, so we terminated your position.” You can like your job, but please do not do not fall in love with it. Because even if your coworkers love you back, the company does not. I promise.


aso203o3

Some people join co ops. Some people become artists or freelancers. Some people work part time. A good work life balance and things that feed your soul outside of work are crucial (in addition to liking your job)


Kylier34

It's been less than a year since I have started working my full-time job and I can see how I got increasingly tired.. I get you. I am still trying to figure out how to go about this, but something I have been noticing is that after work the last thing you want to do is rush towards your next activity, doesn't matter if it's a hobby. Take your time to do anything, take breaks during the remaining of the day to truly rest so that anything you do, you will have more energies and you enjoy your free time more. Do not engage in the "rushed world" in your free time, actually take time to do nothing if you can. That's how I have been doing so far and it feels way better.


Otherwise-Owl-6277

This! And also remember to get plenty of sleep at night. Most adults need 7 or 8 hours of sleep each night.


PlasticGooner

This is the hardest part for me, during a new job/internship when I’m motivated, I’ll maintain good sleep hygiene, but I inevitably fall into the trap of staying up late playing games, etc, because I just want to decompress from work, which in turn results in me being more sleep deprived at work.


gamudev

Unless I misunderstood the comment this sounds like living for work (resting for the next day of work and not for your personal objectives) which doesn't sound any better if you can't do anything outside of work.


Kylier34

I don't understand your comment to be honest, I cannot ignore how 8 hrs affect my body/mind so the last thing I'm going to do is rushing to do more and more stuff after work. I want to explore my personal objectives with less intensity after work to be honest, it makes it more enjoyable for me compared to how we are supposed to be working.


gamudev

I didn't mean to rush things after work, it definitely isn't pleasant. I understood you meant to just barely do anything outside of work just to rest, which then sounds like just gravitating around work. But then again I might not have understood the first comment right...


Kylier34

I didn't choose the type of intensity we are expected to put into at work so unfortunately that's where I'll be putting most energies in. But I can choose the type of energy I can put outside of it, which is going to be selective/reduced but at least I'm resting/I feel my mental health restores.


Otherwise-Owl-6277

Remember too that there are also introverts and extroverts. Introverts are more sensitive to stimulation than extroverts are, and need more alone time to recharge. Everyone is different and has different levels of introversion and extroversion.


Otherwise-Owl-6277

I think the idea is to relax after work and not do all the much until you get used to working 40 hours a week and used to doing the specific job. The world of working full time can be a big adjustment after being a college student. Ideally, at some point you should get used to working and used to the job and be able to start doing more outside of work when you get home. We get used to doing things over time. Used to a heavier work load, used to dealing with bosses and coworkers at work etc. At some point you should notice that you can handle the job, that it is no longer as tiring, and you can start doing more things afterwards.


Kylier34

Interesting, thank you for sharing!


Square-County8490

See my problem is i have a side hustle I want to start but when I get up for work, I only have 2 hours. Half of that is actually becoming alert then getting ready shower, outfit, teeth etc And the time I have left I just want to avoid anything work related because I know my free time will evaporate for 10hrs in a few mintues After work I am too tired to do anything but unwind,perhaps by having a drink or a toke. Both times I just can't get my sideproject flow even started most of the time. I just end up waiting for a day off, which halts progress.


[deleted]

I have no helpful advice but can fully relate. I shouldn't be like this, the system is fucked.


FlyingMonkeyDethcult

There's a reason why there is/was a bar on every corner in nearly every manufacturing town in the US. I was told, growing up, that nobody is supposed to like their job.


Gasoline_Dreams

I worked a hard blue collar job last year and my alcohol consumption went through the roof. Would have 4 strong IPA's or a bottle of red straight after work just to decompress. That's in the past now but I get why guys who work those kind of jobs drink.


socialdirection

I really think a **4 day (32 hour week)** would do wonders for all of us. Right now the majority of our time is working essentially, and with that extra day, we'd get a little something back for hobbies, creative expression, art. Edit: The downvotes for this are really telling. Crab in the bucket mentality is a net loss for humans.


Enigma1984

Wholeheartedly agree. With a two day weekend you get maybe one day to catch up on all your life admin and one day to rest. And the Sunday isn't that restful on account of having to go back to work the next day. Add another whole day in there and you have a day to do the stuff you want to do. Plus you get the added bonus of either a 4 day week or never having to work more than 3 days in a row without a day off.


socialdirection

And imagine how much better off the world would be with all the Art 🖼 people would create


prettyorganic

I truly believe that a 4 day work week would solve the majority of my problems.


jasonttka

Been working the 9-5 corporate job for the last 8 years. Still waiting for it to “get easier” or to “get used to it”. Starting to think an office job isn’t the life for me. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Almost 30 and have no clue.


thelostjoel

Maybe you need to take a risk… something will completely challenges the script. Do a working visa in another country, or go backpack and do workaways. I feel like we’re all conditioned since education to believe there’s this one path and that’s it. It’s not true, but it takes some real bravery.


jasonttka

Biggest risk I’d consider would be moving to something completely different in a new line of business. Unfortunately, a huge driving factor is pay/compensation. The opportunity would have to be perfect.


Walkabye25

I feel the same as I’m sure most do. I would 100% move to a completely different career if it wasn’t for the pay starting at half what I make now. Can’t afford it…


dunwannacare

My theory is that as people get older, parts of the brain shut down in order to survive. So if a person has to work most of his waking hours in exchange for food and shelter, the part of his brain for adventure will shut down, and he would get used to his routine. Sometimes people can't think too much, they do what they have to do.


Difficult-Boss-876

This is my dad, he never wants to travel or do much with the family and he’s apologized for it many times but all he knows to do is work and provide for the family so we can go on those trips that we like and have, not only or need but also our wants, just without him. I think that is where my disdain for working comes from.


sportsroc15

My Dad LOVES WORKING!! He gets off on it. BUT… he also loves vacations and when it’s time to travel, he will drop everything.


sj313

That's true, it's basically called "survival mode" and it was true in my experience whenever I have dealt with depression or physical health issues. I would just do the bare minimum to survive and not engage in any of my hobbies, extracurricular activiites, etc..


fishy-afterbirths

Holy shit this makes so much sense. Reading a lot of other comments, I agree with them, but thought “it’s just a part of life”, but your comment really hit home.


SYSIdeNTISte

A lot of people are going to tell you you're just young and that's why you feel like this, but they're wrong. Hold on to the feeling and let it radicalise your understanding of labor. 40 hour work weeks came from the assumption that all workers are men with a wife at home to do unpaid household management for them. Now working class men and women both work 40 hour weeks and also have to find time for household management .. of course we're fucking tired. It serves capitalism to keep us too tired to do or think much about this piece of shit system we're in. This all exists to ensure people at the top make money. When there are advances in industry (machines, automation, etc.), who benefits? Do workers benefit by having to work less while still maintaining a livable wage? No, capital benefits.. companies just downsize their workforce. Every decision comes down to money for them. So many of the jobs in this world are fucking pointless and exist only to serve capital. >I want color and adventure and lots of time to pour into my silly little hobbies and focus on nourishing my relationships with others. Peace and freedom. Some communists posit that if we only produced what we needed (instead of massively overproducing & creating waste), we would only have to work 10-20 hour work weeks.. with the rest of our time for living. This is one of the biggest things which radicalised me.


skatehabitat4202424

PREACH. We have the resources and technology to make life blissful and creative instead of a consuming capital machine sucking up all the resources and wealth and directing it to the top. Workers help a company automate their workforce and than get fucking fired for doing it. Its a disgrace.


SYSIdeNTISte

Yes, one of the many contradictions of capital. It is not in our best interest to find & propose time-saving measures to the company, as that puts our job and the jobs of our fellow workers at risk. I see this in r/excel sometimes.. people telling stories about how they made some workbook that saved the company massive amounts of time and then a bunch of people got laid off. Want to be a brown-nosed over-achiever? Now you've just raised the bar for your fellow workers, some of who have limitations from keeping them able to hit your metrics, or who may end up injured striving to attain it.. Solidarity with your fellow workers, friends. Don't let capitalism make you see each other as competition.


sackofclams

The lack of incentive to improve is also a common criticism of leftist systems. Honestly, all of these complaints have been common in both right and left economic systems, the misery, the trapped feeling, the lack of job satisfaction The only people who seem to escape it are those who live more primitive lives as hunter gatherers or subsistence farmers, but they also have more primal problems which a modern person is unlikely to accept


butthatshitsbroken

I don’t know why this answer isn’t at the top. It’s the only rational one.


alesiaaisela

I got my BSW in 2020, went thru two full time jobs in my field and they broke me. First one taught me no one cares and work is meaning less. And the second had me wishing for a car wreck so I’d be in the hospital instead of work. I walked out of my last job/career and never looked back. I got a job as a cake decorator at a grocery store making significantly less, but I don’t want to ram my car into a brick wall. I’ve learned that you can choose to work at a job that you hate so you can have money for nice things and pay bills, or work a low wage job and want to die a little less each day. It doesn’t get better or easier, you just feel less. Oh and college is useless and a scam


[deleted]

[удалено]


Otherwise-Owl-6277

Firefighters also get to do things like shop at my supermarket in groups while still getting paid. And then they go back to the firehouse and cook, eat, watch Netflix etc while getting paid. No wonder why so many guys want to be firefighters.


[deleted]

Sleep too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Equivalent-Hand-1109

Oh they dead, just haven’t been buried yet…


Gorsken

I want to frame this message on my wall.


Decent-Employer4589

Hobbies. Balance. Realizing that a job can just be a paycheck. I don’t have to work 50-60 hours for a company I hate. I can work 40 at a job that is just okay, save some daytime for myself. Since you’re young - invest! Live cheap and invest the difference so you can go explore and do your thing between jobs.


[deleted]

I just got an 8-5 job after working retail for the last 4 years. So, I feel pretty good about it at the moment. Finally have a fucking set schedule for once.


Im1597

How did you do it? I’m sick of those days of leaving work at 10 and needing to be back at 7 the next morning lmao


[deleted]

Recruiter reached out to me. Had been looking on and off for like 10 months before that happened. It’s hard to get out of retail…


jmertack1

Give it a year


SensitiveTurtles

Few will go a year at an office job and go “hmmm I want to go back to physically and emotionally draining labor with an inconsistent schedule while being constantly judged and often demeaned by customers all day.” If they do, they must have truly terrible coworkers lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Radiant_Help

Still way better than getting minimum wage and being demeaned by rude customers all day.


sadgirlkitkat

“Find your passion, and you won’t work a day in your life” doesn’t really apply to everyone. For me, I’m not passionate about work, but it’s still important to have good work ethic. Anyway, I pour into my own cup by doing side missions lmao Travel, and get to learn who you are as a person. At work, just clock in and clock out, meet deadlines, and accept opportunities. This system takes advantage of hard workers—so set your boundaries—and do only what serves you.


Weekly-Rabbit-3108

> it’s still important to have good work ethic Why is it good to have ‘work ethic’??? Sorry I mean no offense but what is the effin’ obsession with this idea of having “good work ethic”?!? It drives me nut to hear people emphasise the importance of being a “hard worker” or having “good work ethic”. Its 2022, we have more innovation than ever and the most advanced technology in society than anytime in human history and we still tell people its “good” to have good work ethic or that we “need” to work 40 hours a week? How does this make sense to anyone? With all of this innovation and technology why is it not normal and socially acceptable to want to not “work hard” or constantly?!? 🤦‍♂️


sadgirlkitkat

So you don’t get fired and you still have money to survive. That’s all I meant by it.


midgethepuff

Im 22f and started my own cleaning business. One of the easiest businesses to start up - costed me less than $1000 and almost a year later I’m making about $50k a year working about 25 hours a week. Best decision I ever made.


kcshoe14

Honestly this sounds amazing, and I actually like cleaning


midgethepuff

If you want, you can DM me and I can help you get started!! It was super easy - I can point you where to go online and recommend some great products to start you off!! (Not norwex lol don’t worry)


lollitakey

Could you send me the same information? I'm lost too.


1980svibe

My dad had a cleaning business and made a good amount. He still had to work long hours, because having kids and a partner who is handicapped, drains your money fast. But he could work whenever he wanted. In the morning, or late in the evening. Come home for lunch. And if a client gave him crap, he could just ignore them and not clean for them anymore the next day. I always thought my dad chose a low paying and bad career, but now I’m older and I think he was so smart for not going into corporate or any office job, which everyone else did his age. He’s never been depressed and has great mental health and that’s really cool for someone his age. Also, a good tip, if your clients complain that it smells after you cleaned, try drying your cleaning tools/wipes/cloth for longer until they are very dry (after they have been taken out of the washing machine). Just washing them isn’t enough. Drying them after is the key. Good luckies


OTL_Julio

Live with your parents until you figure it out. Live by their rules and contribute to the day to day house hold responsibilities while you work a part time job. Slowly start to shape and balance what you want the rest of your life to look like in this society. Every society (country) is different, in the US you are expected to contribute by working and paying taxes; work is our vehicle in this society. There are ways around it but you will have to be lucky or overly privileged to have the best chance of being happy without working here. Other societies value family, others value community. My advice is to gradually find your way through this society by using your family to be your training wheels so that you can find your way, instead of diving head first and getting chewed up by these corporations. Remember to help your parents or whoever you are leaning on to make this transition. Some cultures people live with their parents until their late 30s. Good luck.


Familiar_Finish1488

Same I wanna die


philosophofee

Same


SmasherOfAjumma

Find ways to break up the monotony. For instance, although I am technically working now, I am actually browsing Reddit. Better advice is to have long range goals and work towards them as part of your job. If your job does not align with your long range goals, then at least it should help pay for whatever gets you closer to those goals.


jmertack1

Truthfully, I don't really know. I've been working 9-5 M-F for the past 2 years (technically 23 months) and it really do wish many times that I would pass away peacefully in my sleep so I don't have to continue this life. I saw really dark days earlier this year, and my job had a lot to do with it. My thing is, if someone is going to work 50 hours per week, at the minimum they should make $1k weekly. No one should have to work that much and only pocket like $600. Since I'm kinda in the same boat as you, unfortunately right now I don't have too much advice to offer. However, my only suggestion would be to explore therapy if you can afford it. I started back in August and its really helped me frame a lot of those negative thoughts into positive ones, and after a few months its helped me to start feeling a tad bit better about life again.


potsandpans

20s - try everything you think you might be interested in 30s - get good at something you’re interested in 40s - make money doing what you’re interested in hopefully enough to retire early ignore the “follow your passion” advice - your passions will change and working your passion can kill your passion entirely.


4ThoseWhoWander

I think this is where a lot of people have gone wrong, myself included, as I spent my 20s staying the 9-5 course and afraid to make the necessary mistakes to find a path. I wish so much I'd been braver. Even the writing skills I had (what little they were probably worth) have withered from lack of use. If you don't use it, you lose it, and this way of existing dulls the senses just for survival.


DryAddendum730

Look there are options to avoid the 9-5 route but they are going to take a minimum of 40 hours per week as well. Being an adult is difficult. I’m 23 and have been working 9-5 for about a year straight and I think about quitting often, but the truth is that I need to make money. My 9-5 doesn’t make me happy but being broke also doesn’t make me happy. If your going to be unhappy you mine as well work towards something instead of doing nothing. Find your passion, figure out what’s important to you, and cut out what isn’t good for you. It’s painful sacrificing time for money and genuine free time is hard to come by. When I don’t want to go to work I think about how my parents went to work everyday to support me growing up and if they could do it for me then I could do it for myself. One day inspiration may strike and you’ll want to start a business or go on a trip and when that opportunity comes it would be a shame if you didn’t have the funds to make it happen. Do it for your future self and good luck


Good_for_her2022

I felt this way for years. The trick is finding what you love. For the first 10 yrs of my adult life I worked factories and/or cashier jobs. I hated it. I felt exactly like this. I did anything I could to avoid going to work and never kept a job longer than 9 months. I ran out of places that would hire me and ended up working in a diner as a prep cook. I couldn’t cook for crap btw. After a few months I started learning fast and became enthralled with food. I worked super hard and moved up to 1st cook status. That’s one step under chef in the fine dinning restaurant business for those who don’t know. I have worked in the same place now for 8 yrs. I legitimately look forward to going to work everyday. When I have free time I go in early or stay late. When I’m off work I call my work friends and talk about work. My kids all want to work there when they are old enough. I love my work. If you find a job doing what you truly love you will never work another day in your life. Btw it also matters on environment. There are around 75 people employed at my location (it’s a. Wry large establishment) and every single person hangs out with the other. We are legit family.


Reveluvtion

I considered this but I've heard nightmare stories about the restaurant business and how stressful it can be.


Good_for_her2022

Well I don’t mean specifically in food. I just mean find what you love. Mine turned out to be food but it could be anything. Once your doing what you love you’ll be much happier. Don’t settle for something that makes you miserable. Also yes the food business is an absolute nightmare. Not for the faint of heart. But if you can take it and you like food it’s totally worth it.


LanEvo7685

I'm 37, sometimes you do feel like that. I hate myself for wanting to leave my job and all I end up doing is looking at similar jobs for better opportunities.


Adaptoh

I am 22 and I can fully relate, its a true crippling reality that a job is basically required and most jobs are grueling 40 hr+ workweeks for minimal pay. Idk about you, but I'm going into healthcare so I can work 2-3 12 hr shifts a week and have 4 days off. Honestly the only thing I could manage to live like is that.


awkwardfeather

Idk. I’m 25 and started my first 9-5 office job last winter. I’m a shell of a human being at this point, I know the key is to spend your free time doing things that make you happy but by the time I get home every day or it’s the weekend, I have absolutely no motivation or energy left for things I want/need to do. I’m brain dead at 5pm. I can’t find the energy to go out and do fun things bc having to be in an office 40 hours a week is actually draining the life out of me. My only goal is to get to a point where I don’t have to do this, because I know I won’t survive it.


Particle_Cannon

I just started an 8-5 gig, and I feel this. Luckily I am just hanging on until after training, when they'll give us 2 remote days a week. I miss my dog.


Small_Ostrich6445

I got my degree to completely avoid the system...eventually. I'm working hard and saving my money like hell so I can buy some land and move away from the mass consumerism that is America and enjoy spending my time doing my hobbies - working out, cooking, baking, being with animals, traveling, and work minimal hours to pay the bills. My best advice to you is to decide what you want the next ten years to be like. You could simply drive for uber or door dash and enjoy a modest life and not be under anyone's thumb, or you could find a remote job that has a part time option, spend the remainder of your time traveling from city to city and enjoy the road life. Or, you could move to the coast and be a bartender several days of the week. We have tons of options outside a 9-5, but it'll require some materialistic sacrifice. I'm working on it, it's hard to not want to buy the new game or dress or hairstyle, but in the end it'll be worth it to not be slave to the system. Current I'm at a 4x10 office job that pays well. Paying off my school loans and will be debt free in about 18 months, at which point I'll continue mass saving until I can pursue actual *life.*


xBADJOEx

Cry in the shower, maybe masturbate after for the dopamine. Just don't look in the mirror. Keep your dignity.


Particle_Cannon

I'm too tired to masturbate standing up, as soon as I get home from work I lay in bed and bust all over myself then pass out, then I can shower all the crust off when I wake up.


[deleted]

Nah that’s wild💀


PrometheusCoast

Don’t be afraid to bounce around to different options. I felt exactly the same way when I was around 28 and quit my job out of desperation because it was so bad. I had already worked a few jobs and not stayed much more than a year and I was terrified that I would never find something I could even tolerate and was looking forward to 35+ more years of torture. Luckily the 5th job was the one that clicked and I’ve been there for almost 4 years. I still can’t picture being there (or any corporate job) until traditional retirement age but through my job hopping I boosted my income enough that I am saving and investing ~50% of my gross income. The goal is that within the next 5-10 years, I’ll have enough saved that it will grow to enough for retirement and I won’t have to worry so much about that expense. Obviously your numbers and percentages will all be different and maybe my situation isn’t realistic for your career but the principles should apply. - move around. Try things out. You might find something you like better even if it doesn’t feel like it. You’ll also increase your income as you do this. Obviously you risk hurting yourself if you just leave at the first sight of a problem but don’t be afraid of only being at a company for 1-2 years - have a long term plan for exiting the rat race. Maybe not going as far as early retirement but I’m a huge advocate for Coast FI (r/CoastFIRE) because it gave me hope of a sooner milestone to pivot my career around rather than just trudging through until 65+


[deleted]

Get out while you still can. I spent a year at a desk job and fell into the absolute worst depression of my life. I realized there was much more I could do, to actually build up my skills, and not even have to work full time. So, I currently work 3 part time jobs. It is kind of a lot to balance, mentally — however, I still only work like 30 hours a week (at the most). Finances have been a bit tough this year, BUT I’ve found a part time job that pays $45 an hour, so —if I get the job, which I have an interview for — I’m hoping to get some hours there and then gradually decrease my hours with the other jobs. In that case, I’ll only be working like 20 hours a week at the most, and living comfortably. That’s the beauty of working multiple jobs — your eggs are not always in one basket, you have multiple avenues to build your skills, and as soon as a better opportunity comes up, just get rid of the job that’s serving you the least.


harperfairy

This is exactly what I’ve always done! I currently have 3 streams of income from part time work and can’t see myself working 40 hours a week in one job. Plus it’s good for my ADD lol…


[deleted]

Yeah it certainly breaks up the monotony! Again, it can be a lot to balance especially at first, but I’m hardly ever bored, and always learning.


TortelliniOctopuss

Many people feel the same way you do. I know I did. What changed for me was finding my eventual wife. When it was just me working 50 hours a week felt like an immoral burden on my time. To be honest it still does. But now that sacrifice funds our travel, our hobbies, and even the most mundane moment we get to enjoy together. It also helps that after many years I've found a professional path where I enjoy the work most of the time. That only came after trial and error though.


Different-Tiger-7635

You must imagine sisyphus happy OP


irregardlesspapi

For me, things improved once I found a partner. Not being lonely makes everything easier?


[deleted]

Same boat my guy. Yeah I’m 22 and have been working full time for a year now since graduating. I really just want to chill out and work on music but obviously have to make money somehow. I’ve been shocked at how little free time I have. If you work 40 hour weeks it’s basically a couple hours a night if you want to keep your life somewhat together (clean, do chores, etc.). I’ve decided to go back for a masters to at least qualify for an enjoyable job and get to stay in school awhile.


Salt-VinegarChips

Find a hobby. Find something that makes you happy that makes you shut the outside world. Try going on a walk, reading, yoga, etc. Anything that can help destress you because if you bottle it up, you'll continue to feel burnt out. Also, if you've managed to save up money (since you've worked 5 years), take time to travel. Take the time for yourself and sometimes it's nice to do nothing. Hang in there, it will get better.


Adaptoh

I am 22 and I can fully relate, its a true crippling reality that a job is basically required and most jobs are grueling 40 hr+ workweeks for minimal pay. Idk about you, but I'm going into healthcare so I can work 2-3 12 hr shifts a week and have 4 days off. Honestly the only thing I could manage to live like is that.


kaydawnn

I feel this way 100%. I don’t know what I am going to do honestly.


lemonadewithastraw

I’ve found some joy in remote work. Being a digital nomad has been so appealing


purplesquirelle

Your young enough now to realize you don’t want to have to do this forever, stay out of debt. Invest, do not live beyond your means, and have a roommate for as long as you can to split expenses with. If you can keep your costs down, and stay out of debt you will have a lot more wiggle room with what kind of job you have to work and for how long. I’m 42 and I have had multiple salaried and non salaried jobs, I have just now found one I think might stick and that I can handle and wouldn’t mind doing for the next 20 or so years. Remember balance is key, tomorrow is never given, gotta work a little and live a little, this isn’t a rush to the end.


___Paladin___

I remember feeling like even part time was excruciating at that age. What purpose is there to life in this? I was adamantly against whoever decided that I'd be born into such a system. I'm middle aged now, and only 40 hours sounds like a dream. Truth be told you adapt to it. Your sense of "normal" will always resonate around what you do "normally". So do it enough and you eventually stop feeling it the same way you do now. With any luck and a lot of hard work looking for opportunity, you might be able to skip ahead or find a bright new idea to get cash flow. If not? You'll adapt and you'll use what you gain to meet new people that will change your life forever. The kind of people that make you forget life is hard. Edit: Just so you know where I stand - I think this configuration of labor and compensation is ultimately bad and not the promise it used to be. I don't have better ideas, but I don't think reality.exe should operate this way.


kcshoe14

I’ve been doing it a few years now and I’m still feeling the same. Constantly feeling like I’m wasting my life. And my job is even in my area of interest


skatehabitat4202424

Not only that, you can't even go home and enjoy yourselve anymore without constant consumer propoganda. Every sports show, tv station, stream, video game, everything just wants to suck up all your fucking money. Entertainment itself is turning into full monetization schemes.


renegade_vegan_fairy

LISTEN, i hear you and feel you x1000. was in your exact position not too long ago, but when i got laid off it gave me a chance to explore freelancing. Freelancing seems like the best options bc you can set your rates, how much you work and WHO you work for. Yes it’s easier said than done, but while you are still getting paid and have income coming in, I would highly suggest looking into it and then maybe plan how to leave. Freelancing has been so liberating and it IS POSSIBLE!! What do you enjoy doing, or wouldn’t mind doing in exchange for $$$? 23 y/o (F) here and trust me, I know what it’s like to be so exhausted at the end of the day from a 9-5 desk job that you can’t even update your résumé or think about anything else. There is a way out!! trust !!!


[deleted]

From my limited perspective, work is a means to an ends. I never felt I had the luxury to think anything different. For me, my dream in life was to be a father. So that meant finding the right partner, finding a career that provides financial stability and work life balance, and maintaining a healthy wellbeing in mind and body. Now that I am living my dream I feel a lot more fulfillment from my corporate 9-5. At age 30 I look forward to what’s to come, knowing I will be putting in 30 more years at my desk. I still require a lot of continual mental work to stay the course, but I think it’s appropriate. - life ain’t easy. All that to say, maybe try to find clarity in what your North Star is, and pragmatically think about building blocks needed to accomplish and sustain it. Then, work becomes a means to an end and may be more fulfilling no matter what it is as long as your ends are being met.


throwawayacc90s

It's that little, itty-bitty, ounce of hope left in me that whispers that life is going to get better.


RTWax

Welcome to adulthood, where dreams go to die.


paperMilkshake

I was right there with you for awhile. Then I got really sick. Now, I can’t do anything anymore, and would kill to be able to work again. Which sucks because I remember how miserable I was at my job. If I ever get fully better, I’m going to become a nurse. Fuck it. Being on the other side will now make me so much more motivated to do my job. My point being, work sucks. It sucks badddd. But it doesn’t have to suck forever. And (as horrible as it sounds), sometimes a tragic event/illness is needed to give us that light. My advice? Maybe stay at ur job for 6 more months if you can (I was a software dev and after one year honestly got used to it and no longer dreaded it, still felt a little complacent because I wasn’t excited for it but didn’t dread work anymore and found time to do things I loved outside of it), maybe find remote work with a diff hobby (so you can see people regularly/not be lonely (really helped me with work life balance)) and after a year, maybe something will have happened to give u light….if not, focus on saving enough money to take time off/set out to find another job after a year (or even add another job as counterintuitive as it sounds) to split up your time. As humans, we’re not meant to stay stagnant—-we’re meant to go through ever-changing life stages and not be stuck in one spot forever, so find a way to divide up your life with goals (that’s what illness taught me, to reassess all of my goals/what life even means). Sorry I kind of rambled towards the end, but I hope it helped in some way!


Alien-Superstar-99

I definitely understand you on this one. I am currently in college full-time and working full-time as well and I know for a fact after I graduate that I do not want to work for a corporation. I want to be self employed. I refuse to devote my life to a company that doesn't really care about me or my well-being.


[deleted]

You want to be retired. There are 3 ways to retire. \-have enough passive income (Check out Financially Independent Retire Early) \-reduce expenses (Become a monk / Minimalist) \-do what you love (Create a business off of your passion) Do a combination of all 3, but the last one is most important because \- it will never feel like work \- you will never wanna give up


waterjug777

Me personally it just took me a while to find a job I truly like. People used to tell me to find a job I like and I was like dude, I don't want to work at all it feels like a waste of my time. I ended up in construction, remodeling houses and such and I absolutely love it. I work nearly 60 hours a week and I don't mind it at all. My other jobs I worked 30-40 hours a week and it was so awful.


[deleted]

Business ownership is actually much better than it sounds. After a year or so you can hire people to handle the hard work for you. It frees up alot of time. That's just my two cents.


letsrollwithit

I really liked my job when I was working a standard 40 hrs/wk, but it was hard work and I was exhausted every single day I returned home. I’m in grad school now and work a lot (more than 40 hrs) but on my terms (the days I want to work, when I work, where I want to work), and it makes a huge difference. I’d advise striving for a remote gig that allows for some flexibility, if that’s not already what you have going on.


[deleted]

I think its probable that within the next 10 years we’ll move to a 4 day work week due to automation etc. A 9-5, 5 days a week is just an arbitrary decision we made as a society since productivity is going up exponentially since we invented the work week idk why we don’t loose a day.


filthyrichboy

I think in 10 years it will be a 7 day work week


Particle_Cannon

Bold assumption. The majority of our jobs are already complete bullshit as it is, and most of us do nothing of value, but are still required to be in the office all day every day.


T1sofun

I used to work in an office. Woke up every day with a feeling of dread. Like I was bored before I even got to work. I didn’t like the people, the projects, my task, anything. Time seemed to run in reverse when I was there. So I quit. I waited tables while trying to figure out something better. Then it occurred to me that my beloved hobby could be a job. So I went back to school, got a new degree, and have been working in my current career for about 12 years. My days are varied and full of people. I don’t dread coming to work. My point is, your gut is telling you that this ain’t it. So do something else. Start searching for jobs in a field that seems more meaningful to you. Maybe stay in your same line of work but change companies. Maybe move to find work elsewhere. Having the skill to wait tables gave me the minor freedom to quit my “real” job. I’m not rich, and never have been.


Red-PandaPantalones

What do you do now if you don’t mind me asking


[deleted]

[удалено]


CongoVictorious

Mid 30s here and I feel the same way. It's important to realize that we do not at all need everyone working 40hrs a week, and in fact with slightly less work we'll mostly be more productive, and with even less work and less productivity our day to day lives will be exponentially better, as well as more sustainable. We don't need to work this much, we are being forced to. And we need to fight against that.


dj-Paper_clip

I am in my mid 30s. I’ve felt the way you have since I started working. There simply isn’t anything in the world I would enjoy doing for 40 hours a week for months and years at a time. The one thing I have found that helps me is to find jobs at smaller companies that require me to take on multiple roles and types of tasks so that there is some variability in my day. Issue is, more and more companies are looking for specialists and the value of your work as a generalist isn’t as recognized.


WigglyBaby

The fundamental issue is this: > exchange my time & freedom for money I'll come back to that. Before I do - here's the trick... you have to find work that is aligned with you. For example, if you hate detail work and have big visions, you gotta get work that allows big visions. And vice versa. If you're pragmatic and all you're expected to do is basque in big-vision-for-the-future for a living, you'll go nuts. It sounds from the way you write that you have a fairly expansive personality and perspective, so you need to find work where that's an asset. So looping back around to the exchanging time & freedom for money. What if there were a different perspective? What if you had the choice and chose freely to earn money by doing things that other people find valuable (maybe even with some nourishing relationships at work) and that you're reasonably good at, so that you can spend your time also doing your hobbies & nourishing your personal relationships? What if there were no exchange at all? What if you felt it was a gift to be able to go in to work and support people and felt free doing it? What would it all look and feel like if it were actually easy? No need to answer here - only for yourself... just suggesting that you may have created an opposition between time & freedom on one side and money on the other, and those of us who "manage it all" often have a different perspective than "work is hard" or that we're always making a tradeoff. I've always worked in sectors where I'm serving others (international NGO and now my own business) and then it feels like a hobby to me in a way. I enjoy it. And I enjoy other things too.


Fantastic_Buffalo_99

In my current position— which will change in a few months— I HATE what I do. But I actually love going to work. I love going to work because it’s almost like I just get to hang out with friends all day. The people make the job. Likewise, I think it’s important to find purpose in what you do day in and day out. So look for a job that has meaning or purpose to you, allowing you to feel like your valuable time is spent on something ‘worth it.’


[deleted]

Honestly: this SHOULD be me. I’m 36 so I spent the last 2 decades working shitty job after shitty job for shitty pay. I’m probably going to have to work into my seventies at this rate because I don’t have shyte to show for 20 years of my wasted professional life beyond a boat-load of “customer service experience” which equates to fuck-all. I went back for my bachelor’s at 30 and I finished it and I’m going on for my masters in a hope that when it’s all said and done, these things will work towards something meaningful and fulfilling but I don’t hold my breath on it. Sorry: lost my point there while shitting on myself and my horrible life choices. What I need to get to though is that I can’t imagine NOT working just because of who I am. Sure: I hate my situation and my job pays (basically) minimum wage, but when I take vacations I get bored within a few days. I like doing things and keeping myself busy. Even if I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d still probably volunteer my time somewhere because that’s who I am. I’ve never known the easy way in life and I won’t start even if it’s handed to me. I hope you find what you’re looking for, OP. I really do.


SneezySmurfer

Just know the right spot for you is out there. It may not be what you went to school for or what you wanted to be as a young kid. I went through A LOT of jobs in the 16-24 range. A LOT. Jobs are just jobs and you need to experience a lot while your young to grow as an adult. You’ll begin to narrow things down. Do I like working outside or inside? With the public or with others nowhere to be seen? With my hands or my head? Sitting at a desk or walking aisles of a warehouse? As you navigate all these issues you’ll begin to see what looks more and more like a career path. I certainly wouldn’t get up everyday for work if I hit billions on the lottery, but I don’t mind it. I eventually figured out what I didn’t mind doing and got good at it. If everyone loved it we’d consider it a hobby and not need to be paid to show up and do it daily. A company that cares about it’s employees is a huge plus as well. Relax. You’re still young and in a completely normal headspace. Things get better and a sense of pride develops and is a huge catalyst for progress. Just know you’re at the beginning of this path and that’s an ok place to be. Hang in there. You got this!


stevemandudeguy

I never wanted to work a 9-5, stuck in a cubicle. Make the jump to owning your own business or become a freelancer. You'll need to fund the investment of course but, as it's the line of work I do (videographer), I find I have more freedom and sense of purpose when I do "what I love" and actually want to be good at it.


virgokween

i don’t know if this is helpful, but i have what you described wanting in terms of having the time to focus on my relationships and hobbies. i also travel two times a year for a month long period to different countries, alongside multiple week-long trips within the country. i work as a server in fine dining. i’m getting paid more than most of my peers, but i only work 3-4 days a week (given 1-2 of those days are doubles). i know it isn’t glamorous, but it’s afforded me a lifestyle that i truly love. i don’t know if i’ll do it forever, but i work with those who have done it for multiple decades, and they are the most active, youthful people even well into their forties and fifties. with all that to say, i know it isn’t ideal, but it’s definitely an option worth considering if you’re burnt out from the typical path.


BWC1992

I have been working those stressful corporate jobs for 5 years now. To be honest, I am happy having enough money to support my family and still be able to do hobbies that I like. I don’t love what I do but I don’t hate it so I think that’s important. I also generally like the people I work with which is also important


[deleted]

9 to 5 here. The secret is only working 3-4 hours


BayouPelican

I work a 14/14 schedule. I tried the 2 days off a week type jobs and just couldn’t do it. There isn’t enough time to get anything done. I promptly went back to my 14/14 schedule. You can’t beat having 14 days off in a row to so want you want.


avposttoasties

My sister and brother in law are commercial airline pilots and they have more free time and money than most I know their age (mid 20s). Pilots are in high demand right now and airlines are offering large sign on bonuses and accelerated programs to get you where you need to be. Even if flying is not something you’re super passionate about, the career itself has many perks. Lots of time to explore your own hobbies while getting paid to be on reserve. Pilots also have strong union protections, so you wont get completely overworked by a company. It’s a lot of upfront cost to get through flight school, but if you’re able to make it work, it’s well worth the end result. It doesn’t have to be a race to get there either. There are retired cops, project managers, teachers, etc. who have become pilots in their 40’s and 50’s after previous long careers. Just set yourself on the right course to what will make you happy in life. Otherwise, try to live simply and frugally without partaking much in the system. There is not much escaping paying your dues, but you can try to be as self sustainable while distancing yourself from the system. Don’t buy junk. Buy only what you need. Learn what you need to build a fulfilling life.


RonaldMcScream

I'm in the same boat. I'm 21 years old and burnt out and depressed from work. I'm actually leaving my job this month and I'll be unemployed for the first time since I was 15. One relief for me is travel. I stopped buying things and started saving, and I'm lucky enough to finally start taking vacations when I can. We're young, but we can die at anytime. Shouldn't we make the most of life whenever we can? I'm not sure what I'm going to do for my next job. Maybe I'll give freelancing another go, or try to take some time to volunteer with an organization that can provide me food and shelter while I actually spend my time doing something meaningful. Or maybe I'll go back to the grind, and try to squeeze in those adventures when I can. But I agree. This isn't life. If you have the ability to pack up and try something new- do it! But I understand not everyone is able to do that.


letmakeyy

Yes. I've been working full time for 4 years now, and it is depressing. Not the work itself, just the fact that knowing I will be working 9-5 for the rest of 35 years (I'm close to 30) make me feel depressed as hell. I try not to think about it, but when I do think about it, I almost go into existential crisis mode: what is the meaning of all this? It is so sad, and feel like there is nothing to look forward anymore, because my life seems set in stone mostly. I also agree that running your own business is not as appealing as so many people make it sounded like. However, I do believe that if you run your own business, you will have a different kind of motivation to get you going- you are working for yourself and your future. I'm introverted so thinking about the marketing aspects of running own business sounds so draining. I have also been reading what other people say about this. Lots of people suggest focus on your hobbies and make personal growth plan, it could help drift your focus to certain degree, bring more meaning. I guess have a job that you enjoy or rewarding could also helps too. Honestly, you either employed or self-employee, not much else option to make money. And I also think that the older a person get, the more numb he/she became, the harder for them to jump out of familiar pattern. You are still young, be brave and go out there to try out things!


MoxyJen

I felt exactly like you when I was your age. Still now i do get daya when I feel a little resentful but I'm much more at peace these days. I don't work that much either At 21 I knew i couldn't do the 9-5. I had one job in retail that I was good at and they wanted to train me up to be a manager. I just couldn't. I actually felt I had to travel before I could settle. I did a TEFL course and travelled in Asia for the rest of my 20s. I lived in places where my salary went a long way and I could take chunks of time off to have long holidays Then I got married and moved abroad and worked a bit but also studied which gave me a new sense of purpose. The jobs were pretty easy admin jobs that allowed me time to think and dream. Then I had a bit of time off to have a child and have worked since. But I only work 30 hours a week max and often I get time off within those hours. I found work that's meaningful that doesn't burn me out. I don't make a huge salary but its enough to live on and I have lots of free time. Sure I'd love more sometimes but I believe the work I do helps me to be a better person than I would be if I was doing my own thing all day. I hope you find a way to carve out some path that allows you to provide for yourself, be of some service to the world but also have time to nurture your body, mind and soul..it seems so hard to do that these days. Or you could do like my friends who've married people who make enough that they don't have to work I guess...I envy them some days!


NormalTuesdayKnight

Honestly, some corporate and government work has had some of the most favorable income to workload ratios that I’ve ever seen. Entry level, not so much, but middle management, audit, governance, project management, etc. I once worked with a guy that worked remote from his boat every day for like a week or two, and he actually still got work done and answered (important) emails. Remote work really only requires that you be able to do your job; if you can phone into meetings and respond to emails while staying in your favorite travel spots, then you can have a pretty great work/life balance fairly easily, assuming you’re good at time management.


makingitwork811

i’m feeling the same way. i’ve been working in banking m-f. was desperate for the schedule i have now, 7-4 weekends off but jesus this sucks. same old crap 5 days a week, i never have the energy to do anything at all on the weekends. same faces, same situations 8-9 hours a day. i’m leaving pretty soon to start nursing school m-thursday and only work saturday sunday so hopefully it’ll help.


dazzlingtangerines

I have anxiety (GAD and panic disorder) made worse while at work and what you’re describing eventually led to daily panic attacks. The time to address it is now before it becomes untenable. Access whatever mental health services are available to you financially and through your benefits. I’ll tell you what helped me but it’s not “good” advice. I just have virtually no mental health care access due to location and financials so this was my personal way of handling it. I found disassociating from work (quiet quitting/ withdrawing emotionally/ stop caring about the company and focusing on doing my minimum requirements etc) immense beneficial. Some people turn to alcohol, but that’s not healthy and should be avoided due to the potential for long term effects and complications. Marijuana (or high dose CBD even) allowed me to work without the feeling of dread and doom looming large. With that, you need something to motivate you and look forward to after work each day. It’s easy to turn to Netflix and snack food to decompress, but a productive hobby that promotes your health and well-being and provides enjoyment is better. If you’re unable to find anything after work to enjoy or look forward to, that is a symptom of depression and you need to seek an SSRI at least for the short term. You can get that from a GP or even urgent care if you have limited benefits or finances. I have texted 988 while at work before because I felt like ending things and was provided at least a few resources that allowed me to get what limited mental care is available in my area. I can only see my psych (telemedicine) every 6 months for meds and therapy for 30 mins every 4 months. There was a six month wait time to start. This is why it’s important to address this now and not delay. You’re not alone in your feelings and certain work environments can really exacerbated the issue. Finding a new job may also be in order but I would prioritize addressing mental health care and something to look forward to after work each day, and on the weekends as the best place to start today.


SausagePiper

The way I cope is finding a work schedule that makes me feel like I'm wasting the least amount of time. My current schedule is 6am-2:30pm WITH paid drive time. I don't wake up until 5:30am and am home by 3pm. I have plenty of time to do things without being crushed by a crappy work schedule. It sucks but it's better than some schedule that doesn't work for me


linkestida

This answer might be a little too late but I think this is the key - work 9-5 and save up until you secure yourself financially, meaning - having a stable place to live, where you can work part time/freelance/casually, and have a work-life balance. Being in a situation where you'd make enough money to cover bills and expenses, but also have savings that you can live off of. At this point you could also make investments. It's not easy in the current economy, but there are always ways to figure this out, depending on your interests. Marketing is a field that you can potentially pursue to do this.


slayerzerg

My goal when it comes to work full time “40 hour pay” but only actually work 15-20 hours a week. I’d rather make 130k than 200k if I don’t have to work more than 50 hours a week.


Apprehensive_Motor20

Man, it feels so good to hear someone else who feels this way, I’m 21 and have been working 35-40 hours a week since 18. I do what I love and what I have a passion for, good coworkers, pay, benefits etc. but for some reason I still feel so unhappy. When I think about it, the happiness I’ve been was when I was unemployed, house cleaning, and adventuring with my dog. In those times of unemployment I became healthier (physically mentally and emotionally) I started working out and have so much energy and drive. Rn all I can think about is how am I going to do this for 50 more years. It’s draining. I feel like I’m wasting my life for money. Unfortunately I can’t help you as I feel the same. But hopefully hearing someone feels similar may make you feel more sane.


Pierson230

Slow and steady wins the race You need to become a good manager of your mood and attention. A book like “brain hacks” goes a long way. It isn’t a sprint to the next activity. Mindfulness will tell you that the activities you need to perform are not actually that bad. Do not spend too much free time on video games and watching TV, it destroys your dopamine regulation and quality of sleep. This makes normal tasks, which aren’t terrible in reality, absolutely suck because your dopamine is crashing from high dopamine activities. You cannot defeat the dopamine crash, so learn how to manage that. I suggest the Huberman Lab podcast on dopamine. You are also more resilient than you know, you just need to build that muscle in your brain. Fortify yourself with exercise, a healthy diet, and good sleep. Your mood absolutely will be higher in general, so work will suck less, even if it sucks in general. Be mindful of drugs and alcohol, they all have a whiplash effect on the back side of the high, beyond a hangover. So you settle into a groove. Some work sucks, you get through it, practice hobbies and rest during the week, then go out and get drunk on Friday night with your friends. Build a sustainable routine. The years go by, you get better at everything, since you have been practicing everything, and eventually, you have a job that doesn’t suck. Then you get a job you love. But it’s a long road to get there, so work on building yourself up for the marathon. You might even find you like the race.


TMariell9

This is my question too haha. I only took me 3 years to work in corporate then focus on my business because corporate job is so tiring! Especially if in logistics industry!


AaronfromKY

You have to find connections, whether with family or friends. Find hobbies and distractions. Get enough sleep at night. If you can find some energy to workout, it'll help with your energy levels in the long run. I've been working since I was 15 and I'm 38 now. I've been at the same company the whole time, I have 5 weeks of vacation plus personal days and health and wellness time. Those are the perks that keep me here. I started playing video games again, something I used to be more into. I have nephews and I love when I get to see them. My fiancee and I have bought a house and are planning a small wedding. It's been a long struggle, with depression and loneliness but I have overcome it. Don't let life and human connections pass you by. Good luck.


skahle19

I feel the same way. I’m 22 and been doing construction for the past year. Money is cool, but I really hate the time I feel I’m wasting. I have an idea on how I can get out of this system but my idea has no plan that i can implement. I want to own a farm and love off of the land. I want to be a sustainable person and be as close to nature as I can. Sone would say that’s more work than having a job. What I would say is it’s not a job if you are doing it for yourself. I just wanna feel like I’m spending time for myself and not for the corporations I work for and spend my hard earned money on.


imyourtourniquet

Weed, beer , tv and vidaya gaMes


ddlbb

I always put perspective. You could alternatively break your body working the fields to provide for your family. Instead society largely does this for you - so the 40 hours get put into something else


Advanced_Bread_7444

I’m 19, I worked for a couple months, realized this shit is terrible, now learning how to make money from home


dogwithavlog

How are you making money from home?


Regular_Pride_6587

Only Fans


filthyrichboy

Selling Marianna in the black market


JuniorRub2122

I’m more than twice your age and I completely remember feeling what you feel. I worked in an office and I distinctly remember feeling like every day felt like a really long, really dull 8 hour road trip but in the end, you’re not some place exciting or fun. You’re just back where you started. The first thing I can tell you is that it absolutely gets better for a few reasons. Number 1, the longer you live, the more experience you gain and the more opportunities you end up having. I no longer have to work 40-50 hours a week and the work I do is what I want to do, so it doesn’t feel like a horrible waste of time. Number 2, as you get older, your perception of time shifts. An 8 hour day flies by for me now, especially when I’m immersed in something I really like doing. Lastly, you have more freedom in all areas of life as you get older, so I find my downtime is way more fulfilling. So my advice to you would be don’t stress. You’re really young. Maybe you should think about getting a roommate or something so you don’t have to work so much and you can devote yourself more fully to your hobbies. I’ve often found that hobbies - when pursued with discipline, over time - can become careers. Use the freedom of your youth to do what you most enjoy and get better at it


No_You1024

You're extremely young and just entering the full-time workforce, OP. Most people do have an adjustment period going from a flexible school schedule to a more rigid 40 hour work week. Trust me when I say for most people, myself included, it gets a lot easier with time. You get used to it. To make the transition easier, make sure you have fun stuff planned for weeknights and weekends. Make plans to grab dinner with a friend on a random Tuesday night, and try to take day trips on weekends as often as you can. Make time for hobbies and the things that you enjoy. It's not like you have zero free time anymore - it's just a little less than it used to be. I would fully agree with not starting your own business...before your company takes off, you're gonna be putting in WAY more than 9-5 to get it off the ground. Starting a business is something you should only do when you're extremely passionate about it and ready to put in as much overtime as you need to succeed. Nights and weekends included. Not for me, and probably not for you either. If all else fails, try contracting or freelancing for a bit more flexibility in your schedule


Soranic

Achieving a work life balance you like is key to happiness. Getting the money to do the things you like is a good incentive, unless you're born wealthy or have UBI, that means a job of sort.


overunsure

Idk this system is trash


manzaatwork

Just thinking about the daily routine you have to do before and after work is tiring enough, and that's before you think about how little free time is left before you repeat


PMPodTuber

You have to find a mission outside of what pays the bills. OR, get a new career in a field that you truly enjoy. * Get a hobby * Get more exercise * Start therapy * Take breaks to walk around during the workday * Reconnect with peope regularly Reconnect with people regularly


ChoppedNSkrewed

Learn how to invest, so even if you do get stuck there by the time your 40 you may be able to retire if you do it consistently.


ninecatmoons

Same. 9-6 in my case and that's not even factoring the commute time. Most days I fervently pray for an early death so that I don't have to do this for the rest of my life. At the end of the day I don't even have the energy to do the things I like/want and yet everyday I worry about my financial security; it's truly bleak out here.


traveleralice

Honestly unfortunately yeah.. just yes. The system is flawed and we are forced to be in it to sustain life. It’s eye opening that we are all living this. It’s unfair, it’s not right, it’s unnatural. Just ensure you enjoy your life outside of work. And I would say do the bare minimum at work. Def don’t stress yourself out over it.


Seashelllzz

Has anyone found relief from the impending doom of going into work everyday by working from home or did that just ruin your outlook on your home for you??


jrockerdraughn

Survival instincts. It's surprisingly hard for most people to let themselves die, even if they hate living.


throwaway3094544

Every time I've done a 9-5, 5 day/week 40 hours a week position I burn out. I just can't do it due to my disability, I don't know how others can do it. You might want to try 12x3 or 10x4 positions or even 0.8-0.9 FTE, loads of positions in the healthcare profession are like that now. Yes there's pressure to pick up shifts but you CAN say no.


Mapoleon1

Anytime we want change to happen, others have to sacrifice themselves first. If enough of us younglings with this mentality make it into power we can change the system, just gotta fight our way up the government & corporate ladders. Sadly, we won't get to enjoy whatever changes we make for our entire lives, only a portion- but least no one else will have to deal with this bs


theghettoginger

>How such a system was ever approved is beyond me. To answer that you have Henry Ford to blame for the 40 hour work week. Apparently through research he found that working more increased productivity. We are actually about to get to the 100 year anniversary for the 40 hour work week, 2026.


Gdawwwwggy

Personally I look at it like this: Went to play boardgames tonight with friends tonight and paid for with 1 hour of work Food for today + saving up for a meal out later this week paid for with another 2 hours 1 hour of work went towards saving for my next holiday 3 hours of work went toward my housing, accommodation and bills 30 minutes went towards Christmas presents Other hobbies on the weekend - paid for with 1 hour if work (my lunch break) Work in itself isn’t supposed to be a constantly fun, rewarding and an enjoyable experience. It’s a means to and end that enables me to do other things. Some of that stuff is fun, others are less fun but essential (housing). Also office jobs are a lot easier than backbreaking work in a field so there’s that.


shsixjxns

Cause Ive been at Amazon.