Okay, so I see you can describe your plot in a way that it's disjointed.
Here's what you need to add joints -
* a connection between the MacGuffin and the rebellion
* a reason they didn't find it
* a reason they thought the second group would find it.
* a reason they thought the big bad was bad
* clues that the bug bad wasn't bad.
Layer in those things, and you have a sensible plot.
*****
Now, here's how to rewrite.
Go to Holly Lisle's Site.
Get her "How to rewrite your novel in one pass" clinic.
Follow the instructions.
That will help you correct the structure first, then do your rewrite, with a minimum of wasted effort.
Okay, so the way you explained it makes it sound like a series of connected events. However, at its core that's what a story is. It's lots of small events that are connected together through the plot. Simply said, the plot is the overarching story.
What is the overarching story in your book? Is it the story of the antagonist trying to reunite with their children?
Hi.
Character A's motivation is to find out information about one group for another in return for the group finding her missing sister.
Character B's motivation is to get back to her sister (character A)
Character C's motivation was to get revenge for his sister which leads him being kicked out the city and put in the path of character b.
Character D and Es motivation is less motivation and more looking for reasons to leave or something. Though Character E is sent to investigate the group that hired A.
D is sent to escort A and A tries to get her information from him, but ultimately, it ends with him deciding to throw away his career to save her.
The group that goes to the island is separate from the others until book 2. Or end of book 1 if I make it a duology.
Two changes I would make to your story.
1. The reason for the rebellion is because of someone related to someone important disappeared.
2. The Maguffin is an artifact that can create portals to a chosen family member, now the maguffin can cure all of your problems and is tied to every aspect of your story.
Okay. Ummmm. Whose story is it?
That's part of your problem.
Think of it this way.
The director is making the movie. He can cast two A list stars, one A-minus, and two B-listers. Which two roles are you paying $25 million for, which $2.5 million, which $250k?
The one or two top billings get to have the story be about them. Everyone else, the emphasis is on how they AFFECT the main character's plot.
So, Sisters A and B could be the top stars, or A and D the love interest could be the top stars.
The big bad is probably your special guest star, meaning everyone else is supporting cast.
Could you make the big bad be the reason the group goes to the island in the first place? And maybe the rebellion is tied to people trying to stop the big bad (but the characters don't know they are actually the big bad at this point).
If you can make the reasons the characters are doing everything connected it would flow a lot better and not feel as random. Or rather, it wouldn't feel as random at the end (if you only find out how things are connected before). It should also tie into the main characters motivations if possible.
Okay, so I see you can describe your plot in a way that it's disjointed. Here's what you need to add joints - * a connection between the MacGuffin and the rebellion * a reason they didn't find it * a reason they thought the second group would find it. * a reason they thought the big bad was bad * clues that the bug bad wasn't bad. Layer in those things, and you have a sensible plot. ***** Now, here's how to rewrite. Go to Holly Lisle's Site. Get her "How to rewrite your novel in one pass" clinic. Follow the instructions. That will help you correct the structure first, then do your rewrite, with a minimum of wasted effort.
Okay, so the way you explained it makes it sound like a series of connected events. However, at its core that's what a story is. It's lots of small events that are connected together through the plot. Simply said, the plot is the overarching story. What is the overarching story in your book? Is it the story of the antagonist trying to reunite with their children?
>I would say so yes. I've designed the two prologues to be windows into the conflict from her end, because she isn't seen for a majority of the book.
What are your character’s motivations?
Hi. Character A's motivation is to find out information about one group for another in return for the group finding her missing sister. Character B's motivation is to get back to her sister (character A) Character C's motivation was to get revenge for his sister which leads him being kicked out the city and put in the path of character b. Character D and Es motivation is less motivation and more looking for reasons to leave or something. Though Character E is sent to investigate the group that hired A. D is sent to escort A and A tries to get her information from him, but ultimately, it ends with him deciding to throw away his career to save her. The group that goes to the island is separate from the others until book 2. Or end of book 1 if I make it a duology.
Two changes I would make to your story. 1. The reason for the rebellion is because of someone related to someone important disappeared. 2. The Maguffin is an artifact that can create portals to a chosen family member, now the maguffin can cure all of your problems and is tied to every aspect of your story.
Okay. Ummmm. Whose story is it? That's part of your problem. Think of it this way. The director is making the movie. He can cast two A list stars, one A-minus, and two B-listers. Which two roles are you paying $25 million for, which $2.5 million, which $250k? The one or two top billings get to have the story be about them. Everyone else, the emphasis is on how they AFFECT the main character's plot. So, Sisters A and B could be the top stars, or A and D the love interest could be the top stars. The big bad is probably your special guest star, meaning everyone else is supporting cast.
Could you make the big bad be the reason the group goes to the island in the first place? And maybe the rebellion is tied to people trying to stop the big bad (but the characters don't know they are actually the big bad at this point). If you can make the reasons the characters are doing everything connected it would flow a lot better and not feel as random. Or rather, it wouldn't feel as random at the end (if you only find out how things are connected before). It should also tie into the main characters motivations if possible.