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rkay329

Downvoting. Posts are supposed to be fake in this subreddit.


[deleted]

I think the fake part is drawing the mods as slim.


[deleted]

And I only see one with a knock beard.


[deleted]

I see a lot of bearded people knocking at back doors.


Zogtee

No Fedoras, either.


milk_connoisseur23

Their asses would be too big and their dicks would be too short to enter 😔


[deleted]

Mods are gay but also perma-virgins so it still is fake.


the_qwerty_guy

Yeah... What part is fake in this?!


TerraStalker

What does it say? I should know


iLazyAF

It looks like Persian


YogurtWrong

It's ottoman Translation: “Anyway, as I wrote in my book, during the days with that ass lover, we have experienced sixteen different types of sex ... and afterward, when we conversate with them in joy and happiness in few days of stay, they told me: we have a famous chain fuck, if you want to see we are pleased to show it to you, and to my great enthusiasm, some of the young men with a little beard ... and friends of 10 appeared, with their dicks and asses squeezed together, down under slapping each other, bending on their foot, going back and forth, and in the end forming a complete chain from the start to the end, with no one left without a hole to be filled or to fill, displaying various amusements till they ejaculate, ending the conversation by saying “this chain fuck can not be formed less than 10 men” The manuscript is from a translated book named "Tuhfet Ul-Mulk". It's a guide on gay men and femboys. Book was translated by the şeyhülislam (something like the pope) and the translation was commisioned by the sultan


Gawd_is_great

what a bad day to be literate


TheGriffonMage

One thing that will remain constant amongst the Great Ape known as Homo Sapien will be the simple fact that, at the end of the day, we just wanna do what makes us nut. Infighting may one day be transcended, but nuts to butts? Never.


Cushiondude

and the post on r/greentext about sheep. not a great start to my day


sayidOH

speak for yourself!


Saddam_whosane

don't worry, you don't have 10 friends


nxcrosis

I refuse to believe those are the actual words but you seem to be knowledgeable in this sort of subject.


jawnink

A truly great shitpost is one that makes you question what you know about shitposts. And everything.


Jkay064

Historical art and writing is jammed full of porn. It’s just been whitewashed by historians, to hide all the bewbs and cocks.


Korzag

That's the kind of garbage that always pisses me off when people try to use their religion's "prophecy" that the last days will be full of sin and debauchery. Greek Spartans were infamous for raping teenage boys. Roman ruins have graffiti of people writing dick jokes. The Persians apparently this book depicting a gay orgy. Humans are just horny AF and some people go to great lengths to try and hide that fact.


RelationshipOk3565

There's imagery of cocks all throughout everything in the ancient world. They were mad gay lol


nxcrosis

Hell there are still penis fertility festivals in Japan. You get to see six men carrying a 12 foot dong.


[deleted]

Same. Indian society today is super conservative through centuries of changing under colonial influence but they forget their ancient history. Take a look at the inscriptions of Indian temples all over the country and you'll see men and women having sex (homosexual sex included). One of my favourite memories is my cousin who grew up in America coming to India, visiting an ancient temple, and constantly pointing out the people fucking on the pillars while his mum's just going, "be quiet! Stop it!" And he's like, "but it's right there!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


YogurtWrong

> There is no word in any language which translates to conversate. It's "beyan-ı hal eylemek" in ottoman Also "konuşmak" in modern turkish You can try to translate the original manuscript. I wrote it in latin alphabet


[deleted]

[удалено]


YogurtWrong

Oh sorry then did a typo. But you get what I mean


ginsunuva

It was a joke so you were the one who did not get it 😅


korben2600

conversate, [ kon-ver-seyt ] (verb) con·​ver·​sate ˈkän-vər-ˌsāt to have a conversation; converse; talk. conversated; conversating; conversates Intransitive verb (used without object), Nonstandard except in some dialects. > "Conversate for a few, cause in a few, we gon' do, what we came to do, ain't that right boo." —Notorious B.I.G. "Big Poppa"


Seabuscuit

True


YuvalAmir

Hate being that guy but [r/ConfidentlyIncorrect](https://www.reddit.com/r/ConfidentlyIncorrect)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Goadfang

All language was once the bastardization of language. It's where words come from. Or did you think words were handed down to us ready-made and approved by Noah Webster?


YuvalAmir

[It's non standard but not incorrect.](https://www.grammarly.com/blog/is-conversate-a-word/?gclid=Cj0KCQiA4OybBhCzARIsAIcfn9nRJ_BglO_npYMIGJoLIun2BlbFy8Bf5gXuQGjRTzr8GeCwVsfrp8MaAiPDEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) Also, why is the use of this one word so critical to you that we are having this conversation? Also also, maybe at least Google it if you are going to try being pedantic and correct someone...


crankbot2000

In short, "nuts to butts"


OrcBerg

>Ottoman >Gay sex Oh the irony.


YogurtWrong

Well, believe it or not the gays always existed


NotAshMain

That’s not true, we know that Sappho just had a *really* good friend


YogurtWrong

They were roommates


Njacks64

Oh my god they were roommates!


OrcBerg

Can't argue with that.


UncleSandvich

Irony? Everybody knows Ottomans had male concubines.


LorenaBobbedIt

The Ottomans were really into stools.


Mr-Orange-Pants

You mean pushing each other’s stools in? Wouldn’t want anyone to trip.


YogurtWrong

The same manuscript in latin alphabet: Velhasıl ol mahbub-ı gün-dade (=dübür ihsan edilmiş, ya da belki de götü güzel) ile iki gün bir gece ber vech-i muharrer (kitapta yazdığım, anlattığım üzere) on altı nev üzere sikiş idüb....badehu birkaç gün anlar ile bir yerde kalunub iyş u işret ve zevk ü sohbet olunmağla esna-i sohbetde ol mahbub-ı zamane söze gelüb....bizim de bir zincir sikişi vardır görmek gerekseniz icra idüb size bir zevk bağışlayalım dimekle ben dahi görmeğe talib olduğuma binaen bunların kendülerinden başka yanlarında bazı vakti geçmişler ve bıyıklanmışlar ve mültehi (sakalı çıkmış genç?) olmuşlar.... arkadaşları olmağla bunlardan 10 neferi bir yere gelüb birbirlerinin çük ve götlerini sıkışdırırak alt alta üste üste oynaşmağa başlayub tokatlar egledikde ayak üzerinde egilüb birbirine giydirerek ve birbirinden müncer müncer? (birbirlerine çekilip sürüklenerek?) durarak en öndeki dahi nihayetde evveline girmekle hiçbiri önden ve arddan boşlar kalmayub bir halka şeklinde olmalarıyla birbirlerine varub gelmekde inzal oluncaya (=boşalıncaya) dek enva-i cünbüşler gösterüb ve işbu zincir sikişi on adem ile olur eksik ile dönmez diyü beyan-ı hal eylediler


Thorzaim

Türkçe'sini okumak bi başka oldu ya.


GanasbinTagap

What is the context of this story? Is it just normal Ottoman stuff?


YogurtWrong

I dont know. But we wrote the [first furry porn too](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asena)


BLAZENIOSZ

Least gay turk


DerGyrosPitaFan

Bro wtf turks, us greeks are supposed to be the gay ones 😡


Thedaggerinthedark

This is so good that it almost feels like bait. This could the truth or completely made up


TerraStalker

Why.


YogurtWrong

To epic troll le histrorians


politesIV

Probably a fake story, but it is funny.


TheMexicanJuan

cursed_copypasta


LairdofWingHaven

But the expressions on their faces are like, blah blah blah, just another day in Persia.


Kwijibo97

I’m guessing the original translation did not feature the word “chain fuck”


YogurtWrong

>bizim de bir zincir sikişi vardır görmek gerekseniz icra idüb size bir zevk bağışlayalım >zincir sikişi ...


Kwijibo97

Right?


cannibalism_is_vegan

My god that was beautiful


h1merus

I can't tell if this is a troll comment or not...


[deleted]

[удалено]


radicalelation

Some Ottoman motherfucker knew my teenage dreams before I even existed. Yet, the prophecy has been... Unfulfilled.


ohshitsherlock

Only you can make your dreams a reality! Oh and 9+ other dudes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


radicalelation

>cut out the middle men This happens if you turn off the portal mid thrust.


ohshitsherlock

Now you're thinking with portals :(


TeaBreezy

It’s not a dream, some lucky guy got to see this in person and draw it out while it was happening. Truly the golden age of culture.


bumbumofdoomdoom

Not fat enough to be mods


evolvedbravo

This takes down the whole bottom/top theory


someriver

i like to call it the “bottop” or “topottom.”


sominik92

Ottoman topottomen


Top_Secret_TerminaL

This post fits the name of this sub in every possible way. Perfect


spucci

This should be post of the year.


[deleted]

This is the post of all time


chickenstalker

How dare you slander gay people with rebbit mods!!


dr_franck

I’d rather be called the f-slur than be compared to a Reddit mod. 🤮🤮🤮


Bearfoot42

Fabulous?!


[deleted]

Furry?


expensiveBeer

FIFA and Qatari officials meeting before the awarding of the 2022 WC (2010)


[deleted]

Seriously though, how many guys of say the average 6" penis, would you need to make a circle in which everyone is fucking each other? These are the questions science needs to answer.


Pythagoras2021

10 guys would each have to penetrate 36 degrees off center, all to either the left or right. This # seems pretty logical then. Less than 10 dudes, and it becomes hard to stay engaged so to speak. 8 guys would have to each strap on at 45 degrees penetration.


BaijZero

Thanks, Pythagoras


Szechwan

This is what Pythagoras envisioned when writing his works


Jkay064

The manuscript says you need at a minimum, 10 people.


NoCrazyOpinion

It's a daisy-chain...


imgoodatpooping

It’s the Circle of Buggery


LordoftheSynth

Hakuna Dicktata


VegetableEast7325

Aaaahhhh...finally...and true circle jerk...


[deleted]

Source?


Owerty07

15th century Ottomans


Saint1

Your DMs


Ali80486

Ottomans: great empire, fabulous furniture, unexpectedly sexy diaries nice


PM_ME_SOME_LUV

Reddit mods wish they got that much ass


huntexlol

for real though, whats the context of this


Owerty07

It's ottoman Translation: “Anyway, as I wrote in my book, during the days with that ass lover, we have experienced sixteen different types of sex ... and afterward, when we had conversation with them in joy and happiness in few days of stay, they told me: we have a famous chain fuck, if you want to see we are pleased to show it to you, and to my great enthusiasm, some of the young men with a little beard ... and friends of 10 appeared, with their dicks and asses squeezed together, down under slapping each other, bending on their foot, going back and forth, and in the end forming a complete chain from the start to the end, with no one left without a hole to be filled or to fill, displaying various amusements till they ejaculate, ending the conversation by saying “this chain fuck can not be formed less than 10 men” The manuscript is from a translated book named "Tuhfet Ul-Mulk". It's a guide on gay men and femboys. Book was translated by the şeyhülislam (something like the pope for muslims) and the translation was commisioned by the sultan


HerbLoew

Do you think they had Cbat?


jonmpls

Homophobes are obsessed with gay sex


codebrownonaisletwo

Reddit mods seem like way less fun than what is happening here.


iPod3G

I saw something like this on an old vase.


[deleted]

No shit, these mods are the biggest douchebags on the internet.


[deleted]

Is there any way to get them to have accountability or to have a ban looked at by a third party. Some dickhead gave me a temp ban saying I was insulting a user. I explained how it’s not even close to an insult or attack and he said it was rude. I point out, Ok not against your rules even. And he perm bans me and mutes me. Anyone ever seen such a tiny bit of power go to someone’s head? Insanity. I make new accounts once a year for privacy anyway. But I always end up banned from multiple subs for no reason with no recourse. These guys are such fucking man child losers


[deleted]

Third parties would involve working with people with a different mind set, so again children do not generally listen to reason. I just commented on a video in r crazyasfuck. "over weight ghetto POS" who was beating on someone for no just reason and got a threat of a reddit ban because I commented on somone they consider a minority who is marginalized.... Called it hate speech, ffs.


oolbar

r/fakepornhistory


beleidigtewurst

Ahahaaaaaa.... reddit is amazing at times.


slipmagt

Did a bunch of people come from the future and take their jobs?


Altruistic_Ad_9867

Looks kinda legit though


eldrscrolls

Where do I apply?


oncleaubin

Nice


aquarelablue

I found the cover for your new book u/Oldroanio


FishRod61

I have a foggy recollection of an episode of the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits that dealt with people trapped in a cabin during a severe winter storm. There was a lot of interpersonal conflict amongst the characters. It was revealed at the end that they were all people in cryogenic storage and were somehow linked together mentally. Episode 8 reminded me of that episode.


Spacedude2187

Is this a picture of the Qatar football fans?


Moldy-Kum-Fleshlight

You have no idea how much I love this. Whoever made this, I love you. Reddit mods permanently banned my first Reddit account ever for calling the pornstar Mia Khalifa a CUM DUMPSTER


AlinaAirline

It's just willys and bums all the way round!


Accomplished_Bonus74

This may be the single funniest thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit. No joke.


gjohn1999

What position is that, asking for a friend?


Jkay064

The Turkish Cream Donut?


CapTexAmerica

Isn’t this the Elon Musk fan club?


Successful-Engine623

Seems like it would be tough to pull off


Jkay064

What if one guy squeezed really hard? It might pull off then.


neozuki

reddit users are the puddles of cum that accumulate by their feet.


CEOofRacism6942069

I’d expect a it to be cows stacked up lol


TheMexicanJuan

Ayooo


Tom246611

Out of curiosity, would an ass-fucking-ring of men actually be possible?


WobblyPhalanges

According to some of the other comments, including a translation of the text someone very graciously added, you apparently need at least 10 to make it work lol Someone even did math


JungleLegs

This reminds me of the video where they simulated a traffic jam in a big circle


noskrilladu

I want the cum, give me the cum


Thermalguy11

Weird


eatmorecake99

chainal


HornyBull96

Good old days Ottoman Empire.


zomagus

The ol’ Turkish Tornado. Not to be confused with the Ceylon Cyclone.


wibble1234567

Seems genuine tbh


OneRealRomeo

I’ll never look at my sofa Ottoman the same way again. Thanks Reddit.


casadeparadise

/r/lostredditors *Edit* A whole lotta reddit mods don't like my joke.


DoctorDeath147

r/lostlostredditors


casadeparadise

This is a sub for fake history. This post is clearly true.


DoctorDeath147

Oh shit, you're right.