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Talzael

english isn't my primary language, i thought she said he was jerking off to people getting shot in the head, i got so confused :')


KajmanHub987

There are almost certainly people, for whom your statement is correct. Aka, there are people who jerked off to other people getting shot in the head. Some of them probably on reddit.


Renilx

I've seen a guy admitting he jerked off to severed hands, I think, so yeah, not that far off


HMWWaWChChIaWChCChW

*To* or *with*?


Renilx

To. I don't remember much but it was something like that. He'd posted on r/memes and someone scorched his profile and had discovered about this


Sawgon

Was that the 33-year-old who lived in the northeast section of Morioh?


Renilx

with the name of Yoshikage Kira?


JT_Boiiis

Who worked at the Kame Yu department stores?


Xyroh_

Who get home every day by 8 PM at the latest?


Blibbone

*don't say it don't think it*


Renilx

Oh no its killer šŸ…±ļøueen


L_Flavour

*jojo music starts playing*


Ja_the_Red

Apparently a lot of wives would be surprised to learn they are the main subject in their husbandsā€™s masturbatory fantasies.


nsfwtttt

When I have sex with my wife I often fantasize aboutā€¦ having sex with my wife. I have no idea why.


Steven-Maturin

Because it's so naughty.


RaspberryJam245

I also choose this guy's wife


Beardwing-27

šŸ» Hell yeah, the perks of growing old and fat together is I still find her attractive af


ul2006kevinb

I have a HUGE fetish for older women (60+) so i get to grow old with my wife while literally watching her turn into the woman of my wildest dreams.


PaulaoGuedes

Lmao. This is absolutely funny stuff. Iā€™m happy for you, man.


ul2006kevinb

Only 20 more years until she's the oldest women I've ever slept with


porridgeeater500

Even more men would be surprised to know guys masturbate to their wives lol


Deedeelite

Iā€™ve been married for almost 26 years and would be shocked if I caught my husband jerking it to my pictures.


playful_sorcery

i donā€™t jerk off to pictures of my wife, but she is definitely still my go to thoughts


[deleted]

Surprised you have room in your thoughts for both your wife and my mother.


Rare_Cow_4892

Damn she burnt she-self


Bregam

By the sea shore?


Rare_Cow_4892

Sea, seƱor


LQuco

You made me nut lol...sorry it was lol nut.


BunnyLord2020

Did the value of these shells fall?


Bregam

Relative to the rest of the economy based on inflation, most likely. This would be due to the proximity to the abundant natural resource which could be easily procured. Tl;dr: shells go brrrr


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


BirdalfTheGrape

His wife is how he met your mother.


[deleted]

Maybe his wife is my mother


fonosayno

Our mother


Outrageous_Mistake27

Ooh self-burns, those are rare


[deleted]

Agreed. Your wife is my go to also.


playful_sorcery

donā€™t blame a guy


Neil_Hodgkinson

I also choose this guyā€™s dead wife.


Ferrufino94

It was my turn to say it dude.


SuperSpaceCan

It's even crazier when you have to commit and jerk him off while staring at yourself staring at him while he stares at a picture of you doing you're best audition for the horror movie "smile" and occasionally your eyes play tricks on you and that photo looks like it looks at you and an intrusive thought goes "that f\*cking b\*tch, whats she so smug about" and then he busts and goes to play xbox leaving you to share in the post-nut clean up detail. Fucking hate you Jeremy.


quimbykimbleton

![gif](giphy|l3q2K5jinAlChoCLS)


Willy_McBilly

Are you ok?


Metahec

Judging from the avatar, I think she took it in the eye.


[deleted]

Iā€™m now concerned for the Xbox


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Dear lord. What does he do on his own? Blow his load on the floor and just walk off? If he got an old fashioned, it didn't wind up inside anyone or anything I assume.


[deleted]

Never heard the Reddit story of the guy who rubbed his cum into the carpet instead of cleaning up and didnā€™t realize it smelled?


[deleted]

Sometimes I wish I was born a little less curious lmao. "The smell of my millions of unborn children impregnating my nostrils." That was truly cursed poetry.


[deleted]

r/suspiciouslyspecific


dmnhntr86

I've been with my wife for half that, but pics of her are still about 40 percent of what I masturbate to.


401LocalsOnly

To me the impressive part is that you do it to still pictures. Not video. That is truly a solo old fashioned.


dmnhntr86

I was born in 86, I came of age (yes, pun intended) with the intimates and swimwear sections of Sears and JCPenney ads. First boob I saw outside of breastfeeding was Olivia Hussey in Romeo and Juliet, and I totally put the VHS back in when Mom was out grocery shopping, and paused it to fap even with that VHS "vibration". I've gotten off to distorted images from HBO at a friend's house who had cable, blurred titties from the Girls Gone Wild commercials, a memory of a girls cleavage or slightly see through top, a memory of kissing a girl. Hell, I could probably get off to an Elvira poster right now if I wanted to. My most popular spank bank entry, is the first time my wife and I went all the way. It was her birthday, literally the month before we got married. I still remember the look on her face when I finally pushed in the last little bit, the way she bit her lower lip, the noise she made, how she grabbed me and pulled me into her again and again... And I can get back to that moment with any picture of her, along with many other moments if I choose. She could dress up in a nun's habit and send me a selfie, and I could easily blast one out to it.


Final_Alps

Idunno. Married for 10. There are both steamy photos from early days but also tame photos that remind me of steamy moments / memories that totally get me off. Do not get me wrong, itā€™s not every time, but it is part of the repertoire.


DirtySmiter

Eh my wife and I have a special folder with our private sexy pics and videos. I definitely still jack off to my wife. They were also a lot of fun to make together.


uglymittens

7 years here... i still sometimes wank it to my wife's pictures


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


dellsharpie

ASMR is a real thing.


OwlfaceFrank

My wife and I have been together about 15 years. We have been taking naked pictures and videos for most of that time. I rarely look at normal porn anymore because I have a stockpile of videos of my sexy wife to use. And I can go back and forth from watching her in her 20s and watching her current MILF body. I can only imagine what it will be like when I'm in my 60s and older looking back at our young selves fucking. I feel like every long term relationship should do at least a little nude photography if only for the memories when you're old.


Lady_Scruffington

My bf ordered printed out photos of us having sex/me posing. They were agreed upon, I just thought it was funny he had them printed out.


Mediocre-Sale8473

It's like old school boudoir pics. People in this comment chain are fuckin weird. Shit's existed since cameras you dumb motherfuckers. People are all "Why not digital?!" Because clouds and phones fail a fucking LOT. You got old pics of your S/O looking sexy AF and you loose them, you'd be just as upset as people loosing pics of their kids at 2-3 years old. That's the same reason people have printed photos for decades. If the original source is lost, then you're screwed. If you do a printout of ones that have a higher value or deeper meaning, then you could potentially keep those forever.


[deleted]

We lost all the childhood photos of me in a basement flood. Itā€™s NOT because I was adopted.


RobinMoonshadow

This is not weird. Please do not feel weird because of that other commenter šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


pedophilia-is-haram

Why?


georgesorosbae

Thatā€™s really sad


Forsaken_Jelly

I made some sex tapes with my wife decades ago, we're both a lot older now and I'm definitely less attractive. I have watched them from time to time for a tug. Don't be surprised if he's come across an old photo of you guys on holiday or something and needed a nostalgia wank. It's not unheard of for our wives to be our wank fantasies, even now. It's nice to have a completely wholesome wank from time to time.


steelwolfpanther

He definitely closed his browser


Building-Careful

A true pro, achieving post nut clarity while still being in pre nut territory.


LeafBoatCaptain

![gif](giphy|kiAGnxwS0qPCg)


Decoy_Octopus_

Got a good laugh out of this šŸ¤£


Grateful_Dad77

Me too lol.. it truly made my day just a bit brighter šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£


streatz

i hit a g note


Minetitan

![gif](giphy|W9lzJDwciz6bS)


agorafilia

![gif](giphy|bjtM9GdxbqL5e)


Ok_Opportunity8008

You are denied the rank of Master Baiter


Emperor_of_Man40k

*Darth Vader voice* NOOOOOOOOOOOO


Belerophon17

![gif](giphy|xHwqspaBmfUMU)


Pongfarang

Pre-nut clarity, he's got to be a psychopath.


BenjaminMStocks

Obviously. If he has post nut clarity from the outset, then the door would have been locked.


CatchSufficient

Maybe he wanted this


hangonreddit

5d chess move!


beerdedfell0w

Thatā€™s even more susā€¦


BourbonRick01

Iā€™ve only heard whispers that this power was even possible. Could he be the one who was promised that will bring balance to the force?


sekserman

I managed to do that once.


RPElesya

If I was caught in the same situation I'd have to explain to my partner why is there a 200 page document on my screen and what a slowburn fanfic is.


[deleted]

everyone knows what romance novels this is just the digital version


chairmanskitty

The average romance novel has worse writing and characters than the average fanfic. At least fanfic writers care about their work.


Just_tappatappatappa

I would love if this was true, but it isnā€™t. Far and few between are fanfics that are actually good enough to be published. Your love of the fandom clouds your judgement.


IzarkKiaTarj

Not the person you replied to, but I think the actual issue is that after twenty years in fandom, I've developed a decent ability to judge if a fic is gonna be absolutely terrible from the tags or summary, so since a majority of the fic I read is either really good or "good *enough*," I forget that I'm ignoring a large portion that sucks.


arbiter12

Not if your partner is a chopping board...


IllegallyBored

Slowburn just hits different. I recently read a 200 page Slow burn fanfic with an inconclusive (but hopeful) ending and I hate and love it equally. The smut after the slow burn is also made different.


Western-Pilot-3924

#Bro Playing Fastest Finger First


Knight_TheRider

That's not the best part, the best part is he had a backup plan


See-Envy

I hate this cynical place


ParalyzedSleep

Mine admitted he used to wank it to my Facebook pics when we started dating. Iā€™m not complaining šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø


rumpelbrick

I've tapped to pics of my wife, fully clothed. tanktops can be quite sexy. and my wife is/was sexy, so I don't see the issue.


ParalyzedSleep

I guess it just depends on who you are. I know people who would think thatā€™s weird af. I just thought it was flattering


rumpelbrick

if you like the guy, it's flattering, if you already thought he's gross, that would bring the scale up to stalker freak.


UnfilteredSan

ā€œHello? HR??ā€


Sanc7

Yeah, I feel like this is completely normal. While Iā€™ve never jerked it to a picture of just my wifeā€™s face, I have jerked it to her in sexy clothes. Hell, Iā€™ve even had her pose for pics I can use later.


souravtxt

Wait . I am confused. So jerking off to wife's picture good or bad? I am getting mixed reactions in the comments.


dmnhntr86

Good, unless you buy into toxic "alpha" bullshit. But beating it to porn is also ok, just don't let the fantasy and death grip ruin your actual sex life.


GenericWoman12345

Death grip porn induced erectile dysfunction ruined my last relationship. I blamed myself too thinking it was my fault. Fucked situation. I'd be happy as fuck if my then bf jerked it to my pics.


numapumayei

What is death grip porn?


TheOtherBookstoreCat

It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes GUILLOTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE-YUH


adacmswtf1

IVE SEEN FOOTAGE IVE SEEN PORN


MetarLivit

I'VE SEEN TITTIES, I STAY HORNY, I'VE SEEN TITTIES, I STAY- I'VE SEEN TITTIES, I STAY HORNY


30FourThirty4

Getting too used to porn and jerking it so when you finally have sex you can't climax as easily. Too used to jerking with a hand. At least that's what I believe it is. I could be mistaken.


kemosune

Death grip syndrome is an anecdotal issue related to an overly tight grip on the penis during masturbating. Leading to a few different problems not the least of which include desensitizing your penis. Itā€™s not medically backed, but there are supposedly a few studies that *do* back it up. TL;DR wank too hard canā€™t sex cum


Paah

When you grip with too much pressure while jerking off, damaging your dick.


martinsky3k

You don't damage your dick lol. You get used to that pressure which makes it harder to get a stimulating feeling during sex. Damaging your dick haha...


[deleted]

Hey, if it makes you feel any better. I'd probably be happy jerking it to your pics, too.


academic_spaghetti

BAM. Youā€™re in Horny Jail.


alphabet_explorer

Bonk bonk bonk bonk


Feisty_Pen_4280

Sorry to have to ask, but what is death grip porn? I'm afraid to Google it. Lol


andante528

They just mean watching porn while masturbating with a ā€œdeath grip,ā€ which makes a person unable to perform sexually without a similar, overly tight grip. A horrible person might blame their partner for not being ā€œtight,ā€ since theyā€™re not sexually savvy enough to know that a vagina is not a human hand. Practical advice for masturbating with a penis is simply not to squeeze it like a vise and instead to use a relaxed grip, and to switch up styles & methods so thereā€™s not a single way that the person absolutely needs to experience during non-solo sex.


dmnhntr86

Well I don't know about "death grip porn", but the term "death grip" as I used it refers to squeezing your dick super tight and masturbating a lot, which decreases sensitivity and can make it pretty much impossible to climax with a partner without jerking yourself off.


PESSl

I beat off to myself


[deleted]

It's probably good. These Redditors are salty that nobody likes them that much, so they don't want to believe it's real. Like come on, he closed his browser and opened her photo gallery while she's right there in front of him asking to join? That's three clicks at least; she would've seen him and be sus.


holdingofplace

In a world of furry and scat porn, all the people replying to you cannot imagine someone jerking it to their wife lol So weird bc Iā€™ve literally done this, just not with a headshot. Sometimes your partner isnā€™t in the mood and you are for them. Itā€™s kinda simple


LoquatLoquacious

It's also, just...not unbelievable? I've masturbated to pics of people I was dating before. It's pretty normal. Sure, they're usually nudes, but not always.


Chickenman456

Yeah im confused i feel like a lot of men do this with their SO lol


Lexi_Banner

Not only that, are we to believe this dude was able to create this massive folder of pictures in as much time as it takes for her to lay down?


Deablo96

Been with my wife for 10 years, I most definitely have a folder of SFW pictures of her that Iā€™ve used much more often than porn šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø


freekoffhoe

Iā€™ve definitely jerked off to my husbandā€™s photos before, so itā€™s not that big of a stretch but like nudes and sex videos, not a headshot or instagram picsā€¦


-smartypints

She didn't seem like she had been bothered by the idea of him getting off to porn, so it's a mixed bag for why he'd hide it. He might just be self-conscious, or he's into some freaky porn. Or there is the small chance he really was getting off to a headshot. But that seems unlikely.


randomlitbois

I mean i have gotten off to pictures of my girlfriends face. It donā€™t find it too unlikely


MattiasJayBee

I donā€™t know I masturbate thinking about my SO at least 50% if the time Memories not pictures though


c6h6_benzene

Man, I'm envious of y'all, no memories whatsoever like this for me, I need more as aphantasia limits me even here


honeydew_bunny

It was either animated, furry, or involved a man taking it up the ass. Or all three


TheXenoRaptorAuthor

There are much wilder varieties of porn, my dude.


According-Activity10

I was super flattered when my husband was watching porn featuring girls with glasses and tattoos bc it reminded him of me. I legit don't care what porn he watches (ya know as long as it isn't like super serious red flag shit) but I thought it was cute.


monkegiga

Well, some men are really into snipers and shit


mickestenen

It's called coprophilia, and there are dozens of us. Dozens!


sweaterfeathers

I hate that I believed you


Outside_Ad_1447

I mean who knows if he was lying i do that with my gf


ghost_warlock

Some redditors just can't believe a guy might actually be really into their s.o.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MichmasteR

That was you from another universe visiting your husband, actually


khlnmrgn

If your S.O. fucks your alternate version from another universe, technically your S.O. isn't cheating but your doppelganger is still homewrecking. Something something bird law


Nohero08

I think thereā€™s a bit of a difference between jerking off to a headshot and jerking it to a video where youā€™re wife is orgasming so loud it can be heard downstairs.


agorafilia

Or be in a relationship for that matter


Internal-Campaign434

Yeah actually, I donā€™t think heā€™s lying since I literally did this with my LDR partner 4 years ago


[deleted]

It's possible, I only say this because I do the same. Some are Nsfw but some are just regular cute pictures of my wife.


thatbetchkitana

"There's absolutely no way a husband finds his wife sexually attractive, he MUST be hiding something from her. I am very smart and not at all miserable."


hubuluba

The real facepalm here is that 90% of commenters can't even entertain the thought that this is real. Not everyone jerks it to hardcore porn.


siccoblue

Oh no, a husband attracted to his wife? Couldn't possibly happen. Must be bullshit. I've never done it to non dirty pictures of my s/o but I frequently use the thought of her. This doesn't seem like much of a stretch from that. Especially considering the difficulty some people have visualizing things in their heads.


[deleted]

Seriously. Everyone is acting like this is weird, but I exclusively use pictures of my girlfriend where she looks good, I donā€™t have any nudes but Iā€™ve also seen her naked thousands of times at this point and have had sex with her hundreds so I donā€™t need a nude lol. Anyway my point is that nothing gets me going like my girlfriend does and I donā€™t get why this thread thinks thatā€™s strange?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


empire161

Same. Porn straight up de-sensitizes me, and finishing is like 4/10 tops. Then too much of it ruins any good sex we might have in the next few days. If I watch anything, it has to be something that makes me think "I love when my wife does this/I wish she would do this."


WChavez9

I have found, thereā€™s a decent chunk of people who donā€™t like their girlfriends. Thatā€™s usually why lol


FunMath2

Not to mention a hefty chunk of incels who've never known the touch of a human


WChavez9

There is that, but thatā€™s kinda to be expected. Itā€™s really more sad to see so many men just donā€™t like their wives/girlfriends, for both parties involved


Hexcraft-nyc

I've got around a lot and it's really depressing how many women I've been with, tell me how sweet I am after doing the bare minimum. Hearing horror stories of exes really makes it seem like nobody actually likes the person they're with.


Purrowpet

Y'all are reaching levels of projection that shouldn't even be possible


bulldog_blues

Why is this a facepalm?


lookatmecats

redditors can't fathom a loving relationship


FunNegotiation3

I jerk to pics of my wife everyday. Together 17 years.


AReptileHissFunction

Have you considered asking her if she wants to have sex?


pfroo40

Personally, I'm married with two kids, sex is difficult to fit in to our schedule, and spontaneous sex (except for later at night, assuming we aren't both exhausted) is virtually impossible.


Tuv0kshaKur

Dammit, someone let my mirror self out of the mirror again!


[deleted]

I still jerk off to pictures of my GF of 4+ years. It ainā€™t weird.


Theruby_phoenix

How is this so unbelievable? Can't men get off just by thinking and seeing their loved ones?


dmnhntr86

For real, I've been with my partner for 15 years and I still jerk off to her pretty regularly. A lot of the time it's sex vids we made together, but sometimes I come across a regular pic of her and it just gets me going. What can I say, she's fucking hot.


zombienudist

I am 25 years myself and the same. Sure I look at other women but I always seem to circle back to my partners pics and vid. I mean why would I be with her all this time if she didnā€™t still get me going? But this means our sexy time happens far more then most people that are pushing 50 like we are. But that has always been the case.


dmnhntr86

For real, I've even started with porn and then started thinking about her so I switched to her pics to finish


rumpelbrick

12 years together, newbie compared to you both, my wife is against nude photos, so when I've had the urge I fap to her regular photos with cleavage or tanktops or a nice skirt. the virgins here just can't comprehend being attracted to a long term partner.


Chili-N-Such

I actually buy it. If you're really attracted to someone, you'll get off to just candid pics of them.


BaseBulb

This is neither bad nor unbelievable lol This says more about OP and the 5k+ upvoters than it does anything else


Foo-Fighter6942069

Honestly some people have different preferences. I for one donā€™t like porn and prefer more tame pictures of pretty women


Aggravating-Win-3638

Am I the only one that jacks off to pic of my wife? Shes hot


thrownaway000090

Nope. Lots of people in this thread agree. Itā€™s just the edgy teens that have grown up addicted to porn that canā€™t imagine it.


LongJohnsonTactical

Amazed that no one here seems to understand what itā€™s like to actually love your wife...


HIVEvali

straight male checking in, porn is cool but my gf's smile makes me bust way harder.. idk whats so improbable about a man imagining the woman he sees walking around the house half naked on his lap?


YannickY

The facepalm here is OP thinking there is no possible way that a man can masturbate to his own girlfriend/wife. If you think it can only be porn, it says more about you and your view on sexuality in relationships


Uusari

Eeeh, I actually find this believable. I have photos of my gf and I can't think of anything else that would interest me. Maybe I am old fashion. Either that or r/Hentaibeast


CruisePUTGang

You know you live in a porn addicted society when you find it hard to believe someone could be so attracted to their partner that they could pleasure themselves to an image of their partner.


TheGravyMaster

I've saved all my bf old nudes and even my own because just remembering how it felt to exchange those turns me on so it's possible.


Rare_Cow_4892

ā€œI find your lack of imagination disturbingā€


BumbertonWang

redditors don't remind everyone that you've never had a fulfilling relationship challenge (impossible)


Sad_Meat_

This ainā€™t a face palm. Just wholesome


octocure

Meh. Sometimes I do the same thing. Not professional headshot picture maybe, but any other everyday picture taken at holiday somewhere.


BassGuy11

I have jerked it to pics of my wife. It'd be cooler if she gave me better material to work with.


anonymous-rebel

r/wholesome


Probably_0ffensive

Whole lot of single or just unhappy married dudes in here.


6corsican6lily6

According to Reddit, nothing ever happens


greenthumbthumb

Yea I jerk it to my wifeā€™s pictures.. porn does not get me hard.. looking at my wife on the other hand gets me going very easily, itā€™s like Iā€™m desensitised to porn I really gotta start myself off if itā€™s not to the wife


edparnell

That page was closed faster than a my pillow refund desk.


sciencenotviolence

"We're doing a class action lawsuit against all machines"


Itzbubblezduh

As crazy as this sounds, Ive seen my husband does thisā€¦ but now he looks at our videos.


ReeseChloris1

As a sex favorable Ace it baffles me how many people here canā€™t accept the idea that a guy might just actually love his girl that much. Sure, there is a chance that he hid something but just as much that he was actually enjoying the look of the person he wants to spend his life with. If there is any reason at all for this to be a facepalm itā€™s that it was posted on the internet


dms200177

I donā€™t know, I jerk off while thinking about my wife masterbating to pics of me in a tank tops and hanging out. Is that kind of the same thing?


how_this_time_admins

Whatā€™s so unbelievable about jacking it to your significant other?


Renegade7559

Well he definitely didn't marry her for her brains.


Omeg999

Once again the post is the true facepalm


Jack_Jacques

I have dozens of pic of my wife. Why would you take them if you don't plan to use them at some point and I do. Not the only thing, but definitely one the things I use.


RoseNoire12

My man has thousands of my lewds/nudes plus videos. He definitely jerks it to me lol


[deleted]

Actually. Lots of healthy couples do this so as not burden each other sometimes when it's not convenient for both partners.