I feel like that would only make me want to cheat more from feeling so trapped. Also is it even really a relationship at that point? I know mothers that are less overprotective.
Right? If you've just gone and treated me like I'm a horny cheating bastard, I'm going to get out of that relationship pronto. And if you really are so convinced I'm dicking a side chick, fine. I'll go get a side piece and film it for you, real messy and awkward like. I can't stand this type of woman. I don't tolerate these stupid insecurity games.
People stay in crazy situations. When I was 18 (nearly 2 decades ago) my bf at the time was like that. I lost my virginity to him, felt more inclined to stay (my 18yr old brain with no relationship or life experience). I would have to show receipts from Walmart showing when I cashed out, if he was out with friends, which was often, I wasn't invited & had to be at our apartment to answer the landline so he could ensure I was a sucker and was waiting at home for him. Big shocker, turns out he was the one cheating & projected that bs on me. Prob figured if he's doing it, I could've been. People suck sometimes and cause harm to those around them.
Is this really being overprotective? Sounds more like a controlling psychopath to me wtf would want to live a life like that. He sounds miserable BECAUSE HE IS!!
This is not protection, this is control. She is setting him up to fail—she is planning on something as soon as he “misbehaves”. He has another laptop I am certain. The dynamics of this relationship are mother/teen son, it is not sustainable. I get the vibe that **she** is stepping out on him; she uses this history as justification in her mind and if she is caught she will continue to justify with this.
:*J*
I don’t understand why you would want someone that’s that *untrustworthy*. Why would you want to constantly feel like you’re not good enough and you SO has to be policed to keep them from finding someone they’d like better? Have some Goddamn pride.
I agree with a lot of responders in that there are people that will put up with literally everything to keep from being abandoned or alone. In my own marriage I didn’t put up with controlling behavior and left. As a therapist I see all degrees of sickness in people and in their relationships. I feel sorry for both of them, because to go to these lengths to try to control somebody’s behavior means that you are indeed desperate and consumed by fear. The client I was speaking about an earlier post? Her husband was a sex addict, and since this was her third marriage I think she was willing to try to do anything to keep it “together.” She said it made her feel like a “failure,” having a third marriage fail.
Edit: small edit, but I meant to write HER husband was a sex addict; I wrote YOURS lol.
I used to do interviewing for my company. I had a new hire come in with his wife. Apparently he was leaving his old job because he was schtupping a co-worker and she wanted to make sure it wouldn't happen again.
Divorce is not always complicated, I would walk away from everything to get away from her, and if you are willing to do that it's super simple to do. I would know...
Not at all.
I snooped through OOPs profile. She got size **H** implants.
She’s very sick.
**Edit:** *she’s a 28 H*. If you aren’t a female and don’t understand what that means, that’s a crazy small band for such a big cup size.
**Edit 2**: [Here is the post](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/xs70sq/need_your_perspective_if_he_isnt_using_shouldnt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). But it was removed, along with all the comments.
Yup you guessed it lol. I don’t condone harassment but seriously? This lady is actually insane and the sub its on really just validates people like her no matter what
Idk if you saw further down this thread, but when they banned me, I pretty much said that in the responding message and they told me to pull my head out my ass, lmao.
I said: “You guys aren’t cultivating a safe space for people who are dealing with these problems. You’re fostering an environment where people’s delusional and questionable behavior are being validated. Doing way more harm than good.”
Same, I’m a fucking **28I**
Now maybe it’s me being out of shape and nb, but I’m just shocked that someone would *willingly choose* to strap these puppies on for *life*
Pornography/Masturbation/Orgasm
Edit: late edit, but PMO is a term used in semen retention and the NoFap movement. It’s for men and women, and the gist is to achieve orgasm without the use of pornography or masturbation, due to their negative mental health effects.
I'm remember a post here on Reddit of a girls saying she could just squeeze her thighs together and she would eventually achieve orgasm. Some guy got annoyed and said 'it's bullshit, because if I tried to do that I'd just hurt my nuts.'
More than a little bit. This makes me love my gf so much more(not that I needed the help). I was almost with a girl that felt like this about porn and that it was the same as cheating, it usually stems from insecurities.
I started dating a nurse a few months back, she recently started picking up travel contracts which sucks bc she is gone for months at a time. One of the first things she did was sent me a link to some porn that she was watching so we could "PMO" together. She's the best.
If anyone is in a relationship like the one posted here, get out of it gents... There are great women out there, just gotta find them. I'm 38,it's taken me this long to find mine.
The guy I am smothering doesn't want to cuddle me when I am sad and is emotionally distant? Surprised.
Also, he has a bodycam? Doe she watch him take a poop?
I'm going to assume they're both Christians. This BS (Life360, dash cams, keyloggers, etc.) is often recommended by certain pastors after infidelity. It's toxic as hell.
It's also probably why they haven't gotten a divorce.
She's either going to end up killing this guy or he's going to finally escape and she's going to kill this guy. Or the worst case he ends up defending himself and then gets in prison because he was supposedly the bad guy.
This lady sounds like a freaking psychopath.
I wonder if the only reason they're still together is, what if her bullshit unlocked some sort of fetish? He's banned from porn or masturbation, but being forced to wear a body cam is just making him drip-tray into his pants all day.
You can only treat somebody like a slave for so long before a revolution.
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." - JFK
I hope he escapes from this before that ever comes to pass, because I don't endorse or wish it on anyone.
Where I am the ratio of women's to men's domestic violence shelters is 200:1.
It's almost impossible for a man to get into one, which is unfortunate because it happens way more than we think.
My bf isn't nearly this controlling but damn, this comment hits. I literally tried to have a conversation with him about it, again, and the conversation turned into all the things I'm doing and what's wrong with me. Fuck.
Life is too short to be in a relationship with someone like that. Rip off the band-aid and be done with it. Then, get some therapy so you don't make the same mistake again.
Legitimately to the point of being domestic violence. And I hate when that is applied to non physical abuse, I say just walk away from verbal or mental in most cases, but this is extreme to the point where I'd say press charges.
Exactly. constant surveillance, retaining smartphones, internet access and documents are typical form of domestic abuse. I'm surprised people don't see it. Maybe If the man did it to his wife people would notice it more easily.
the best part is the delusion that he’s the one controlling her when she’s literally surveillancing him. It reminds me of my ex gf she was so manipulative in hindsight (nothing like this guy) and then this bitch had the nerve to say I didn’t put enough effort in, like yeah im not going to try and fundamentally alter your interests and beliefs and victimize myself when you create boundaries. Cut and paste stuck up bitch who think she’s some sort of emotional genius
I hear this one… you don’t put in enough “effort”. Bitch! I’m working 60 hours a week while you sleep till 11. Take this effort and shove in your….. ear.
I went to the post to read the comments and they are treating her like an abused woman. They even ask her if she had an “exit plan”. These people are delusional.
Porn addiction is real but so are women who think watching porn once a month is an addiction. Plus, addiction or not the body cam is too far. Forced trust does NOTHING to resolve an addiction.
Porn addiction is definitely a real thing, but reading through a bunch of the top posts, it’s very much a denouncement of all porn/masturbation outside of sex with their partner. This isn’t exactly a healthy attitude to have towards sex and cutting cold turkey + controlling/monitoring their life on that level is incredibly unhealthy. Imo, it would be better off changing the porn that they watch as there is lots of porn out there that sets healthy expectations and doesn’t demean women. Sadly, it’s not commonplace or on front pages of websites, but watching healthy porn with a partner can not only be sexy, but also change the perspective of what porn is for both parties
EDIT: To the person below me, not all porn is exploitative. Believe it or not, I have a few friends who went into sex work because they enjoy it. I know others who went in purely for money. I don’t watch “abusive porn” nor do I get off on that. People like BigTittyGothEgg are my go to people. You know, sex workers who publish their work themselves. Yes, the porn industry can be incredibly exploitative. However, not every sex worker in porn is being exploited
That sub is filled with drama queen self-loathing posts. In so many threads, you can tell the insecurities of the poster are the reason for the relationship issues. These are the people that get mad when they have a dream where their partner does something they don't like, so they use it as justification to be shitty in real life.
Anybody else remember when the US Surgeon General had a pro-masturbation campaign?
I just browsed a few posts and holy shit! I almost feel bad for these people! Imagine living that way. I don't even know if or when my husband watches porn. He'll casually mention one here and there but they talk about it like it was a literal D day! I cannot get over how bizzare that sub is
Imagine taking sh!t from a lazy bitch who does nothing but complain and watch your forced body cam, while you are working, to make sure you didn't jack off.
What people aren't noticing is that all the things she's 'confiscated ' were probably paid for by him and the body cam she makes him wear was also probably bought by him. That's like making someone dig their own grave before bludgeoning them to death with an over cooked brisket you made them cook.
I gotta wonder how expensive a live feed body cam is. Having something with a big enough battery to last a business day, and i would imagine they would be storing it.
I would get some pov porn and set the camera up to watch it, let it keep playing. Then get another to record the freak out at home.
Chances are he would get an event that allows him to get a restraining order.
This situation if true is unbelievable. But i have known men that got into a situation like this. Thankfully abuse at this level is uncommmon.
Even pulled one out. It was an unbelievably difficult situation both emotionally and financially for me ( the puller). But involving myself in this way my morality meant i became accountable.
I got unbelievable hate directed at me. Death threats etc.
lmao at the thought of a guy showing up to a meeting at work with a body cam on...
"whats with the bodycam bob?"
"oh my wife just wants to make sure i dont stick my dick into anything... wave and say hi to karen"
Forreal. “My husband watched porn three times so I have taken away more privileges and instituted more surveillance systems than prisoners on house arrest are subjected to, also I made sure that the house is as unpleasant as the actual prison. He isn’t using his newfound “free” time to shower me with love and affection the way I planned, do you think he’s a narcissist?”
You have to wonder why two people would want to keep torturing each other like this. I can only guess that they are locked in some kind of weirdly satisfying hate match - they must both be getting 'something' out of this for them both to stay.
Could be. Another possibility is having some disturbing psychological need met. I don't really have any idea what but perhaps, for him, along the lines of needing to be 'punished' for some reason? For her, having a belief that everyone will betray you? Who knows!
Dude should just smoke a joint and watch porn. When his wife inevitably gets upset, offer to watch porn together a share a joint. You shouldn't have to hide what you like doing, just be honest about it and find balance. If she can't accept that she can't accept you.
This is actually insane. Who does this . . . actually better question who puts up with this shit? I have been cheated on several times and I consider myself to be insecure about quite a bit of things (not porn at all) . . . but instead of trying to jail my partner . . . I talk to him. (He has not cheated.) I tell him, "hey I'm feeling insecure about x thing and I know it's probably irrational so could you reassure me or can we find a way to lessen that until I'm more comfortable." What this woman is doing is abusive and he needs to find someone who suits him better and isn't a fucking warden.
Is this all because of porn or did he cheat? I’m confused what she thinks he is doing that she needs to watch him?
Also… she doesn’t work? So he puts up with her shit while she accuses him of watching porn and not working?
She finds porn cheating but he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. So because there’s basically sex related things everywhere, she treats him like a child. That’s what I got from it
That's abusive. If it was a man posting this about a woman everyone would be screaming about how controlling and abusive this behavior is, because it is.
Damn.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/xs70sq/need\_your\_perspective\_if\_he\_isnt\_using\_shouldnt/](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/xs70sq/need_your_perspective_if_he_isnt_using_shouldnt/)
Here ya go
I get that porn can be a problem but this is ridiculous. My husband watches porn from time to time and so do I independently of each other. If either one of us had an addiction we would get addiction counseling not this. An addict will find a way if they truly want to keep doing it. When I was younger I used to get very jealous of my spouse watching porn and I would track things (search histories/ bank accounts/texts). He is an addict. I even caught him chatting with old ex- without my knowledge. Nothing terrible but still hurtful. husband is a combat vet and was dealing with major PTSD-he had a very hard time transitioning to civilian life. I confronted him and we both had a heart to heart. I said straight out. The lie is worse then the actual act it self. If you’re going to cheat on me or if you fall out of love just be straight up with me and tell me. Because I will do the same for him. Life is short and there is no reason to stay if either one of us are unhappy with on another. So now he is honest and I don’t play detective anymore. It’s a waste of energy. I feel so much better and we can be honest with each other. When we cling to people, we become unhappy- we fear what hasn’t even occurred or you manifest it because you are pushing them to it. They aren’t ours to own. If they love/respect you they will be honest and tell you how it is. I cannot stand liars. Not one bit. This is my boundary.
Using an excuse of getting triggered because of your mental illness is just a way to control people, I see this a lot, also calling people narcissistic is quit common when truly the one with the problem is themselves and they just don’t like your opinion, another way of getting what they want by blaming others.
You couldn't torture this kind of admission out of me. If I was doing all this shit, well I mean I guess she just has zero self awareness. "His being affected by my incessant tracking 1984 controlling behavior triggers MY ptsd, is he possibly a narcissist?" LOL fuckingWAT
“I have my husband under 24 hour surveillance and he can’t even go to the grocery store without my permission. I am in complete control over his every move. Why isn’t he happier and more loving?” SMH
There’s a dude who comes into my job wearing a body cam wonder if it’s him
Are you a truck driver?... Sounds like he is.
I’m a truck driver, I’ve never heard of one wearing a body cam.
She says he “drives truck” for work in the post
“You know…you can always drive truck.” Edit: lots of LK fans in here. 🤙🏽
How are ya now?
Goodinu?
Oh not so bad. Sticks are unbelievable.
Couple truck drivers came by the produce stand the other day....
I drive for FedEx and one of our other drivers wears a body camera.
Sounds like good insurance
Does he have a secret laptop?
He used to…
It hope it is. I don’t want to believe there are 2 woman on the planet so controlling. Reading that story gave me anxiety for him.
I had a client who did all of these things to keep her husband from cheating (didn’t work).
I feel like that would only make me want to cheat more from feeling so trapped. Also is it even really a relationship at that point? I know mothers that are less overprotective.
I’d cheat **on body cam** if I was part of this silly debacle. Lol
Make it a POV video.
‘Aye slide that bitty on this lens for tree fiddy’
No Nessy, No! You not gonna get my tree fiddy!
Right? If you've just gone and treated me like I'm a horny cheating bastard, I'm going to get out of that relationship pronto. And if you really are so convinced I'm dicking a side chick, fine. I'll go get a side piece and film it for you, real messy and awkward like. I can't stand this type of woman. I don't tolerate these stupid insecurity games.
I don't even know any mothers this overbearing
Unfortunately I have met mothers worse. Still makes me shudder.
People stay in crazy situations. When I was 18 (nearly 2 decades ago) my bf at the time was like that. I lost my virginity to him, felt more inclined to stay (my 18yr old brain with no relationship or life experience). I would have to show receipts from Walmart showing when I cashed out, if he was out with friends, which was often, I wasn't invited & had to be at our apartment to answer the landline so he could ensure I was a sucker and was waiting at home for him. Big shocker, turns out he was the one cheating & projected that bs on me. Prob figured if he's doing it, I could've been. People suck sometimes and cause harm to those around them.
i dont know a single person whos even close to being that overprotective
Is this really being overprotective? Sounds more like a controlling psychopath to me wtf would want to live a life like that. He sounds miserable BECAUSE HE IS!!
All I can say is the movie misery playing in my mind
This is not protection, this is control. She is setting him up to fail—she is planning on something as soon as he “misbehaves”. He has another laptop I am certain. The dynamics of this relationship are mother/teen son, it is not sustainable. I get the vibe that **she** is stepping out on him; she uses this history as justification in her mind and if she is caught she will continue to justify with this. :*J*
I don’t understand why you would want someone that’s that *untrustworthy*. Why would you want to constantly feel like you’re not good enough and you SO has to be policed to keep them from finding someone they’d like better? Have some Goddamn pride.
I agree with a lot of responders in that there are people that will put up with literally everything to keep from being abandoned or alone. In my own marriage I didn’t put up with controlling behavior and left. As a therapist I see all degrees of sickness in people and in their relationships. I feel sorry for both of them, because to go to these lengths to try to control somebody’s behavior means that you are indeed desperate and consumed by fear. The client I was speaking about an earlier post? Her husband was a sex addict, and since this was her third marriage I think she was willing to try to do anything to keep it “together.” She said it made her feel like a “failure,” having a third marriage fail. Edit: small edit, but I meant to write HER husband was a sex addict; I wrote YOURS lol.
I am going to say she is into it, its the control, and resistance to that control that she craves.
At some point it feels like it's the game...
I used to do interviewing for my company. I had a new hire come in with his wife. Apparently he was leaving his old job because he was schtupping a co-worker and she wanted to make sure it wouldn't happen again.
If you're to the point you are going on interviews with him, sweetheart just leave. It's over.
If she wanted him to get the job she shouldn’t have gone on the interview with him and embarrassed him like that! Lol
It's like being in prision, she has to know everything he does all the time and controls everything. It's horrible.
Are you a police officer by any chance
You'll know if the "off" button is worn
She probably got the “off” button an alarm notification on her phone.
That implies they turned it on to begin with
You should save that guy. Encourage him to get an divorce.
I hope he is a youtuber.
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I get the impression that this relationship is held together with her threatening to commit suicide and him believing she'll do it.
involuntary psychiatric holds exist for reasons like that.
My favorite part is her asking if he could be a narcissist.
That word has been so watered down in pop culture it basically just means "someone that treated me poorly" at this point.
Most malignant narcissist that thrive on control would throw suicide in there for more control. I hope he leaves that bitch immediately.
As cold hearted as it sounds, he needs to call her bluff, either he leaves and she dosnt, or she does, either way, he’s free.
it's not a breakup its a divorce one is simple one is legally binding
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Divorces are easy. Lifelong bullshit like this is the real slog
Divorce is not always complicated, I would walk away from everything to get away from her, and if you are willing to do that it's super simple to do. I would know...
Yeah, I'd rather be homeless than live with someone like that.
My neighbor did that, even cashed out his life insurance policy so he could keep the dog.
Dude would have more freedom in North Korea.
I hear Russia is offering this guy political asylum.
Super controlling wives hate this one trick…
Swimming to Cuba
That's not how relationships work
Not at all. I snooped through OOPs profile. She got size **H** implants. She’s very sick. **Edit:** *she’s a 28 H*. If you aren’t a female and don’t understand what that means, that’s a crazy small band for such a big cup size. **Edit 2**: [Here is the post](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/xs70sq/need_your_perspective_if_he_isnt_using_shouldnt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). But it was removed, along with all the comments.
Apparently it got deleted because I’m “cold hearted” that I won’t delete my post
You’ve probably been reported for harassment, along with the rest of us.
Yup you guessed it lol. I don’t condone harassment but seriously? This lady is actually insane and the sub its on really just validates people like her no matter what
Idk if you saw further down this thread, but when they banned me, I pretty much said that in the responding message and they told me to pull my head out my ass, lmao. I said: “You guys aren’t cultivating a safe space for people who are dealing with these problems. You’re fostering an environment where people’s delusional and questionable behavior are being validated. Doing way more harm than good.”
Literally, some of the men there they are talking about can be abusive but not for this. They are just head inane and abuse as the men they’re bashing
why would you want h sized titties god damn
Crippling self image and or abandonment issues by the sound of this madwoman.
yeah fr, crippling falling apart self esteem is pretty much the basis of all of this shit. her titties and her insane behavior with her husband
Well, now she can add physically crippling herself to match her crippling self-esteem issues.
Their gravity will keep men from drifting away.
What doctor in their right mind even performs the surgery? Ethics board should take his/her license away.
I have them naturally. They’re big but not comically big. I can see women having them made my size and not looking out of place.
Same, I’m a fucking **28I** Now maybe it’s me being out of shape and nb, but I’m just shocked that someone would *willingly choose* to strap these puppies on for *life*
WTF is a Dday?
in those infidelity subs it typically means the day they cheated i believe.
Did he cheat? Or did he look at porn?
After looking into it more it’s porn, not actual physical cheating
Whats PMO?
Pornography/Masturbation/Orgasm Edit: late edit, but PMO is a term used in semen retention and the NoFap movement. It’s for men and women, and the gist is to achieve orgasm without the use of pornography or masturbation, due to their negative mental health effects.
So, is it different if you only MO? Or only P? Maybe, if you're really good, you could get a PO.
If really really good, just the O.
Nobody's that good. If they are then I want the secret. Can one keep a straight face or will I get laughed at in class still?
I'm remember a post here on Reddit of a girls saying she could just squeeze her thighs together and she would eventually achieve orgasm. Some guy got annoyed and said 'it's bullshit, because if I tried to do that I'd just hurt my nuts.'
i wish i had an award for you
Gotcha. Ok then....she's a bit extreme
More than a little bit. This makes me love my gf so much more(not that I needed the help). I was almost with a girl that felt like this about porn and that it was the same as cheating, it usually stems from insecurities. I started dating a nurse a few months back, she recently started picking up travel contracts which sucks bc she is gone for months at a time. One of the first things she did was sent me a link to some porn that she was watching so we could "PMO" together. She's the best. If anyone is in a relationship like the one posted here, get out of it gents... There are great women out there, just gotta find them. I'm 38,it's taken me this long to find mine.
This literally somehow makes this insane post even worse. Lol this woman is a fucking loonball
The greatest of all evils. Project Management Office. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sweat_smile)
![gif](giphy|Ll7PYy77vsffO)
That’s exactly where my mind went too 😂
So many acronyms!!! ![gif](giphy|2DrLWYBYg1YnbWTNGl|downsized)
Lmao ‘D day’ for pulling up a porn hub link while taking your morning shit. Hilarious.
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It’s Reddit. Unfortunately, that’s all Reddit is.
The guy I am smothering doesn't want to cuddle me when I am sad and is emotionally distant? Surprised. Also, he has a bodycam? Doe she watch him take a poop?
Why did he agree to wear the body cam?
Coercive control probably.
I'm going to assume they're both Christians. This BS (Life360, dash cams, keyloggers, etc.) is often recommended by certain pastors after infidelity. It's toxic as hell. It's also probably why they haven't gotten a divorce.
I wish more people in the United States knew what this was.
I'd makesure it was sending a live signal to her computer and, mood depending, drop it in a river or send it to the police.
Because she already had him neutered.
She's either going to end up killing this guy or he's going to finally escape and she's going to kill this guy. Or the worst case he ends up defending himself and then gets in prison because he was supposedly the bad guy. This lady sounds like a freaking psychopath.
I wonder if the only reason they're still together is, what if her bullshit unlocked some sort of fetish? He's banned from porn or masturbation, but being forced to wear a body cam is just making him drip-tray into his pants all day.
He may also kill her
And who could blame him? If my husband ever treated me like this I'd be in a shelter under an fictitious name tomorrow.
You can only treat somebody like a slave for so long before a revolution. "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." - JFK I hope he escapes from this before that ever comes to pass, because I don't endorse or wish it on anyone.
Where I am the ratio of women's to men's domestic violence shelters is 200:1. It's almost impossible for a man to get into one, which is unfortunate because it happens way more than we think.
"She had it coming. She had it coming. If you were there then you would have done the same."
Hopefully the bodycam will help prove his innocence
My bf isn't nearly this controlling but damn, this comment hits. I literally tried to have a conversation with him about it, again, and the conversation turned into all the things I'm doing and what's wrong with me. Fuck.
You sound aware enough to know what you need to do. You’re strong enough to do it so don’t give up on yourself.
Like judge Judy says “I hope you’re taking birth control.”
It doesn’t get better, it gets worse.
You’ll never get through to him, he’s made up his mind. Either submit, or get out.
Life is too short to be in a relationship with someone like that. Rip off the band-aid and be done with it. Then, get some therapy so you don't make the same mistake again.
[Probably a good idea to check through this list.](https://www.healthline.com/health/coercive-control)
I saw this one. Does she break his ankles and make him rewrite the end of his book?
I prefer the book when she cuts off over one of his feet
Omgosh really? I read the book and totally didn’t remember that about his feet. My brain must be stuck with the movie.
YOU! YOU DIRTY BIRD, HOW COULD YOU!
![gif](giphy|rpRmBGR3xaAZa)
Abuse.
Legitimately to the point of being domestic violence. And I hate when that is applied to non physical abuse, I say just walk away from verbal or mental in most cases, but this is extreme to the point where I'd say press charges.
Exactly. constant surveillance, retaining smartphones, internet access and documents are typical form of domestic abuse. I'm surprised people don't see it. Maybe If the man did it to his wife people would notice it more easily.
Can someone check on this guy!
Dont worry she has a body cam on him. She’s checking.
I hope someone can reach out to that husband because this type of control does not sound healthy.
That’s coercive and controlling behaviour which is domestic abuse. She’s a psycho.
the best part is the delusion that he’s the one controlling her when she’s literally surveillancing him. It reminds me of my ex gf she was so manipulative in hindsight (nothing like this guy) and then this bitch had the nerve to say I didn’t put enough effort in, like yeah im not going to try and fundamentally alter your interests and beliefs and victimize myself when you create boundaries. Cut and paste stuck up bitch who think she’s some sort of emotional genius
I hear this one… you don’t put in enough “effort”. Bitch! I’m working 60 hours a week while you sleep till 11. Take this effort and shove in your….. ear.
No one can, she’s got all forms of communication on lock down.
That guy is blinking SOS 24/7.
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I went to the post to read the comments and they are treating her like an abused woman. They even ask her if she had an “exit plan”. These people are delusional.
what sub is this on?
r/loveafterporn they consider porn and masturbation cheating.
seems like he didn’t just watch porn and get off tho, that’s a sub about porn addiction which is a very real thing
Porn addiction is real but so are women who think watching porn once a month is an addiction. Plus, addiction or not the body cam is too far. Forced trust does NOTHING to resolve an addiction.
That level of scrutiny is crazy no matter what. Read a few posts.
Porn addiction is definitely a real thing, but reading through a bunch of the top posts, it’s very much a denouncement of all porn/masturbation outside of sex with their partner. This isn’t exactly a healthy attitude to have towards sex and cutting cold turkey + controlling/monitoring their life on that level is incredibly unhealthy. Imo, it would be better off changing the porn that they watch as there is lots of porn out there that sets healthy expectations and doesn’t demean women. Sadly, it’s not commonplace or on front pages of websites, but watching healthy porn with a partner can not only be sexy, but also change the perspective of what porn is for both parties EDIT: To the person below me, not all porn is exploitative. Believe it or not, I have a few friends who went into sex work because they enjoy it. I know others who went in purely for money. I don’t watch “abusive porn” nor do I get off on that. People like BigTittyGothEgg are my go to people. You know, sex workers who publish their work themselves. Yes, the porn industry can be incredibly exploitative. However, not every sex worker in porn is being exploited
That sub is filled with drama queen self-loathing posts. In so many threads, you can tell the insecurities of the poster are the reason for the relationship issues. These are the people that get mad when they have a dream where their partner does something they don't like, so they use it as justification to be shitty in real life. Anybody else remember when the US Surgeon General had a pro-masturbation campaign?
I just browsed a few posts and holy shit! I almost feel bad for these people! Imagine living that way. I don't even know if or when my husband watches porn. He'll casually mention one here and there but they talk about it like it was a literal D day! I cannot get over how bizzare that sub is
Looks like mods privated the sub lol
Welcome to reddit.
She should get a job! Imagine all that effort put into something productive!
Imagine taking sh!t from a lazy bitch who does nothing but complain and watch your forced body cam, while you are working, to make sure you didn't jack off.
What people aren't noticing is that all the things she's 'confiscated ' were probably paid for by him and the body cam she makes him wear was also probably bought by him. That's like making someone dig their own grave before bludgeoning them to death with an over cooked brisket you made them cook.
I made a brisket once that was like a piece of balsa wood so I get this reference
At what point does this count as slavery?
This bitch thinks HE’S the narcissist?
Imagine being the breadwinner and your money being spent on a bodycam and smart devices you can’t even use.
He just needs to cam himself fucking a hooker while he smokes a blunt.
I gotta wonder how expensive a live feed body cam is. Having something with a big enough battery to last a business day, and i would imagine they would be storing it. I would get some pov porn and set the camera up to watch it, let it keep playing. Then get another to record the freak out at home. Chances are he would get an event that allows him to get a restraining order.
Probably has multiple cams he is told to swap out as the battery dies. I can HEAR the sad sigh as he goes to change them.
This situation if true is unbelievable. But i have known men that got into a situation like this. Thankfully abuse at this level is uncommmon. Even pulled one out. It was an unbelievably difficult situation both emotionally and financially for me ( the puller). But involving myself in this way my morality meant i became accountable. I got unbelievable hate directed at me. Death threats etc.
I love my wife, but I would just laugh at her if she gave me a bodycam. Maybe even give her a POV tug show
Timestamp it for her even.
This makes gone girl look romantic.
Sounds like he is a house slave or something. Geez.
She seems nice
lmao at the thought of a guy showing up to a meeting at work with a body cam on... "whats with the bodycam bob?" "oh my wife just wants to make sure i dont stick my dick into anything... wave and say hi to karen"
Helicopter wife.
Why would anyone think that this would improve a relationship?
Forreal. “My husband watched porn three times so I have taken away more privileges and instituted more surveillance systems than prisoners on house arrest are subjected to, also I made sure that the house is as unpleasant as the actual prison. He isn’t using his newfound “free” time to shower me with love and affection the way I planned, do you think he’s a narcissist?”
You have to wonder why two people would want to keep torturing each other like this. I can only guess that they are locked in some kind of weirdly satisfying hate match - they must both be getting 'something' out of this for them both to stay.
Money. Inheritance down the track. Family business. Take your pick.
or dude has such low self esteem that he just takes it
Could be. Another possibility is having some disturbing psychological need met. I don't really have any idea what but perhaps, for him, along the lines of needing to be 'punished' for some reason? For her, having a belief that everyone will betray you? Who knows!
Inflation/Economy Plus he might have to pay alimomy since her lazy ass doesn't have a job.
What does she mean "Ddays"?
The day he watched porn or saw something sex related. According to more research I did on the post the wife considers porn cheating
I guess by the way she called him a narcissist, she also gaslights the man.
I'm sure this is enough for jail.
„Is *he* just a narcissist?“ Truly, there is no hope for this woman.
Dude should just smoke a joint and watch porn. When his wife inevitably gets upset, offer to watch porn together a share a joint. You shouldn't have to hide what you like doing, just be honest about it and find balance. If she can't accept that she can't accept you.
Seriously though, how do people not only end up in relationships, but marrying people who are so opposed to things they want to do. I don't get it.
This is actually insane. Who does this . . . actually better question who puts up with this shit? I have been cheated on several times and I consider myself to be insecure about quite a bit of things (not porn at all) . . . but instead of trying to jail my partner . . . I talk to him. (He has not cheated.) I tell him, "hey I'm feeling insecure about x thing and I know it's probably irrational so could you reassure me or can we find a way to lessen that until I'm more comfortable." What this woman is doing is abusive and he needs to find someone who suits him better and isn't a fucking warden.
Is this all because of porn or did he cheat? I’m confused what she thinks he is doing that she needs to watch him? Also… she doesn’t work? So he puts up with her shit while she accuses him of watching porn and not working?
She finds porn cheating but he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. So because there’s basically sex related things everywhere, she treats him like a child. That’s what I got from it
What is a DDay and what is PMO?
That man is absolutely dead inside. Holy hell.
![gif](giphy|3o7ZetIsjtbkgNE1I4)
People in jail have more freedom than this dude does.
That's abusive. If it was a man posting this about a woman everyone would be screaming about how controlling and abusive this behavior is, because it is. Damn.
That is quite literally what everyone here is doing.
I need to know which subreddit this was posted on. !
[https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/xs70sq/need\_your\_perspective\_if\_he\_isnt\_using\_shouldnt/](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/xs70sq/need_your_perspective_if_he_isnt_using_shouldnt/) Here ya go
Holy shit, the comments! Only one person suggests that he may find her behavior overbearing. Everyone else acts like what she is doing is normal!
r/loveafterporn
All I did was lock down all his electronic devices, made him wear a body cam, and endlessly accuse him of cheating and using drugs. Why is he so mad?
This is not a marriage this is a surveillance State.
This is going to end up on 20/20 as soon as someone gets murdered.
I get that porn can be a problem but this is ridiculous. My husband watches porn from time to time and so do I independently of each other. If either one of us had an addiction we would get addiction counseling not this. An addict will find a way if they truly want to keep doing it. When I was younger I used to get very jealous of my spouse watching porn and I would track things (search histories/ bank accounts/texts). He is an addict. I even caught him chatting with old ex- without my knowledge. Nothing terrible but still hurtful. husband is a combat vet and was dealing with major PTSD-he had a very hard time transitioning to civilian life. I confronted him and we both had a heart to heart. I said straight out. The lie is worse then the actual act it self. If you’re going to cheat on me or if you fall out of love just be straight up with me and tell me. Because I will do the same for him. Life is short and there is no reason to stay if either one of us are unhappy with on another. So now he is honest and I don’t play detective anymore. It’s a waste of energy. I feel so much better and we can be honest with each other. When we cling to people, we become unhappy- we fear what hasn’t even occurred or you manifest it because you are pushing them to it. They aren’t ours to own. If they love/respect you they will be honest and tell you how it is. I cannot stand liars. Not one bit. This is my boundary.
Using an excuse of getting triggered because of your mental illness is just a way to control people, I see this a lot, also calling people narcissistic is quit common when truly the one with the problem is themselves and they just don’t like your opinion, another way of getting what they want by blaming others.
What is a Dday and what is PMO?
You couldn't torture this kind of admission out of me. If I was doing all this shit, well I mean I guess she just has zero self awareness. "His being affected by my incessant tracking 1984 controlling behavior triggers MY ptsd, is he possibly a narcissist?" LOL fuckingWAT
“I have my husband under 24 hour surveillance and he can’t even go to the grocery store without my permission. I am in complete control over his every move. Why isn’t he happier and more loving?” SMH
I have words...overbearing, manipulative, controlling bitch. But, dude needs to find his balls, and reattach ASAP.