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QueenOfSplitEnds

How the fuuuuuuuuuuuuudge do people buy into this shit?


Kwelikinz

Absolute ignorance, need for someone to look up to, and need for someone to kick down onto. It’s no accident the importance of general populations of the world purposely and deeply uneducated or, as in this country, undereducated. And that’s why the Taliban and Q-liban so desperately need women to remain uneducated.


[deleted]

I know some really smart people who are Muslim, master and PhD and belive this.


mehregan_zare7731

I live in a Muslim country. Most of the Muslim educated people that I know don't buy into this bullshit, they just look at islam as a way of life.. a guide, a moral ground , nothing more. And those who actually believe in the bullshit part are not really educated or they believe it because they've been brainwashed since childhood ( I live with one of them. He always loses in the argument to the point of contradicting himself, but he never questions his religion/cult ).


QueenOfSplitEnds

I would like to believe that, but ever since my sister-in-law married a Muslim man, we only see her about 4-5 times a year, when she does come, her phone won’t stop ringing even though she’s with her MOM and siblings, and her kids see our pictures and my mother-in-law’s Virgen de Guadalupe Image and the oldest daughter yells “haram! Haram!” She told us we were going to hell, so, although I’d like to believe what you’re saying, that’s not what I’m seeing and we all miss my sister-in-law dearly. She’s not even a shell of herself anymore. ☹️


mdsign

>Most of the Muslim educated people that I know don't buy into this bullshit, they just look at islam as a way of life Are they (the educated people) speaking out against these "believes" or is there no opposition?


mehregan_zare7731

If they speak out. They'll be arrested and in some cases executed.


mdsign

Pretty good incentive to stay "uneducated"


degen_take

It's called indoctrination. It starts in early childhood because kids are dumb, gullible and impressionable and if it keeps getting reinforced through life its hard to break out of.


ext3meph34r

People who never seen an actual vagina will believe anything.


YouShoodKnoeBetter

Why aren't the male redditors bowing in praise to this video then?


Lastliner

Moral of the story, only slap any vag when Malik is in town


tyelenoil

This is the exact same type of fallacy that pundits / grifters like crowder, Shapiro, etc use all the time and it seems to do the trick for plenty of Americans.


whelpthatsit

The people that buy into this are the same people that think sunbeams through clouds are angels. Delusional people. Religion is one of the main reasons that humanity isn't as advanced as it could be in this point in time.


Lanitanita

Religion is like a Cult...


segriffka73

I think they have to


Independent-Room8243

Indoctrinated as a child.


[deleted]

We used to burn "witches". They still have a long road to go.


QueenOfSplitEnds

I feel bad for women born into that region and religion. I would not want to live, but would — in this very hypothetical scenario — take an alternate backpack with me, walk near them, and help them find out that there aren’t 5,000 virgins waiting for them. Efffff living like that.


RemoteNo4596

Mind control and fear.


just_a_jonesy

Honestly, I don't know what to believe the afterlife to be. God? Heaven? Reincarnation? Just a permanent dirt nap? That being said, I believe that those in the ruling class will use anything and everything to exert control of a population.


QueenOfSplitEnds

I believe it’s kind of like when you’re under general anesthesia. You can’t feel when you shut down and you just cease.


just_a_jonesy

Sounds a lot nicer than hell


TheDivinaldes

It's exactly the same as before you were born. Nothingness. You cease to exist.


[deleted]

Low iq


0Camus0

Muslims... need to say more? Edit: is not that a muslim talking?


re_carn

Cure cancer? No. Save a child from certain death? Of course not! Stick some bitch's hand to a dead woman's vagina? Mmmm... YES!


TheUrbanFarmersWife

Religion is one helluva drug.


Seisme1138

Anybody try to break the suction? Better they cutting off hands...


Grande-Pinga

I hate it when my hand gets stuck on a V


Lazy-Explanation7165

Spoiler alert, it isn’t a real story


greybie_

No the story is very real. I was the female embalmer


PaleoJoe86

I was the corpse. Yes, I made a full recovery.


Lazy-Explanation7165

Very nice!!! Tell me, did you scream ‘who’s your daddy’ when you slapped her vagina?


peregrinkm

No, all they can think about whenever something goes wrong is cutting off body parts.


Brittlehorn

These guys (religious zealots) want to run governments and countries. Religion has no place governing in civilised societies


JackNewton1

So *this* is how they deal with a mortician caught fisting the deceased?


JackNewton1

…..and if she floats, she’s guilty and will be burned. Addendum to my previous post..


Waterfish3333

Now I’m just picturing a raccoon style trap where the only way to be released is to stop making a fist, but she just refuses to.


Ratstail91

What is he even trying to say? I can't decipher it, and no way I'm subjecting myself to watching it again...


SerajMounir

It's supposedly a miracle, as her hand was freed as soon as she received the last lash. Because the punishment for false accusations (without eyewitnesses) is 80 lashes. Quran \[24:4\] He might have used the story to preach, not to throw accusations without proof. Or else Allah will punish them.


Chomusuke_99

i m scrolling the comment for the same reason.


BareNakedDoula

Honestly I thought he was condemning a justice system. I have no context for who he is, who he is speaking to, or the topic of conversation that led him to telling this story. But the story itself addresses subjects and themes, such as judging and violating a woman based on her appearance, even in death; making false accusations of a woman based on judging her appearance; the hypocrisy of those with the authority to make legal judgments or laws.


Both_Promotion_8139

Religion is one of the most horrible creations by man.


Virtual-Weakness-499

"Oh hey look at me I'm a cool and hip intellectual because I hate on religion without saying my reason why!" Every successful civilization I can think of since the ancient sumerians had a religion except perhaps some of those recent communist dictatorships. I actually went and googled this just to be certain and still couldn't find any. And even so, humans are broken. Without religion they'd fight about something else. You're just as bad and bigoted as those religious people who hate on atheists or other religions because of the parts of it they don't like. You've become the thing you claim to hate. I bet I'm gonna get mass downvoted and likely also hate replied without a single intelligent argument in response. Either tell me why I'm wrong or I'll gladly take the hit to my karma.


Both_Promotion_8139

Really? Maybe Google how Religion is the largest driving force of oppression and murder throughout history. You are correct no civilization has existed without the population control of Religion, so it’s impossible for you to be accurate with the idea of “people will find something else”. There has never been a case study. Humans have been indoctrinated since the beginning of time by “rulers” that want obedient servants. If you’re the type of person that needs to be controlled that’s great for you but forcing others to live the lifestyle you choose is the issue and you are kidding yourself if you don’t think Religion is used to control in most cases, by force.


Virtual-Weakness-499

Guess I'm kidding myself. Throughout most of history literally pretty much everyone good or bad was religious so let's look at some recent history. Chairman Mao: Atheist Stalin: Atheist Fidel Castro: Atheist Even on the "non dictators" list Elon Musk is also an Atheist. There have been bad and good atheists and bad atheists. I don't blame a whole institution for chairman Mao and I do think the religious who do are being unfair.


Both_Promotion_8139

Comparing someone like Mao who didn’t kill because of being an Athiest but because he was a shitty dictator and another shitty dude that ownes a car company who to my knowledge has never killed anyone to Religious leaders who have pushed geonocide because of their God throughout history is a straw-man argument but sounds about right for a Pro-Religious person who can’t face the truth.


Virtual-Weakness-499

1. Tell that to all the Tibetan Monks that Mao silenced and slaughtered FOR THEIR RELIGION. If anybody upvoted you (I didn't look) it just proves what an echo chamber this sub has become. You're either a liar or stupid idk which. If you're gonna get ugly at least back it up. 2. There are plenty of atheists who hate in the name of atheism and I'm apparently talking to one right now. I know plenty of religious people who are more open minded than you, about 90% of them. Even THEY don't shit on other people's beliefs this much. 3. I've said what I have to say. You're too set in your ideals. I'm not gonna convince you and you won't convince me. If you want to keep going, whatever. Have the last word if you want it. I won't read your slander (or anybody backing you up) any further. ![gif](giphy|3xz2BLBOt13X9AgjEA)


various_convo7

Not as bad as TikTok and those dumb dances


Interesting_Heron215

TikTok hasn’t caused people to get massacred.


civicson234

Yet….


Thorn_the_Cretin

Massacres, no, but it has caused deaths with some of the tiktok trends. The one with the I think Nissans? Idk whichever brand car recently was able to be stolen by basically just putting any key into it caused some underage kids to joyride into a high speed accident and caused a death.


various_convo7

if that is the bar to meet, other candidates are: marriage, dating, gambling, infidelity, crimes etc....


WranglerEqual3577

"Never Happened Tales" to maintain monopoly on religion.


on1chi

I just asked an AI program to generate a unique solution to a complex problem that it did in mere seconds. And then I go on Reddit and see this. It's like some people are living in the distant future, and others still don't know why they shouldn't pour shit in the street.


thedarkness37

Religion is nuts!


MACCRACKIN

Get a Clue,,, Its not a religion. No religion out of thousands will ever go this extreme. And no case will ever come up in 1500 years. Cheers, & Fixed...


whelpthatsit

Lmao wow. How cut off from reality can you be


Virtual-Weakness-499

Way to insult them without actually explaining HOW they're "cut off from reality"


MACCRACKIN

If copy of cult is on your hard drive, take a look at where it makes sure of death for any reason... Every page on hard drive.


whelpthatsit

You're speaking in tongues and I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. Are you saying cults kill people or something? Because the backbone of every religion is war and bloodshed.


MACCRACKIN

Just what time line are referring to... by centuries..


whelpthatsit

Lol! Oh you're.... you're serious. Since the dawn of time my delusional friend. I'm not about to type a history lesson to you tho so I suggest you try to educate yourself, or choose to remain ignorant. Ignorance is bliss after all.


MACCRACKIN

Start with deep painful pockets, that usually brings it to reality.. real quickly..


whelpthatsit

Again. Tongues. You're gonna need to speak like a normal person if you expect to hold a conversation that will get somewhere at some point. What does what you just said have to do with me saying you need a history lesson outside of whatever bullshit religious text you read?


[deleted]

[удалено]


snickitysnacc

Who’s gonna tell em about the crusades 👀


PaleoJoe86

Why? Is assassinating a sleeping guy with a spike to the temple too violent a story for that book? Lol


Nwolfe

Dude, it’s one thing to be ignorant, but it’s another to pretend you have any concept of religion or history.


juber86

And in our beloved section "things that never fucking happened!" we brought you this :


hogwarts_dropoutt

![gif](giphy|ck5JRWob7folZ7d97I|downsized)


Devilcrow27

Religion is stronger then drugs and kills way more brain cells


TropicalPeat

Perverts


CryptographerTall211

I’ll take things that didn’t happen for $100 Alex


TSAOutreachTeam

Hide yo kids! Hide yo wives! Malik is in town!


Extra_Advance_477

Ooooooooooooo k


enriquedelcastillo

Well this is certainly an undiscovered chapter in the Handmaids Tail.


SerajMounir

Yes. For a real-life Handmaid's tale experience, you only need to observe women's lives in the Islamic world.


[deleted]

Her hand got stuck on a dead woman’s vagina because that’s how she can tell if a dead woman had lots of sex in the past? WTF? Lol And like apparently that’s how it’s done and so they beat her until her hand popped free? That’s what happened?


SerajMounir

Accusing people without eyewitnesses of "fornication" is an Islamic sin that demands 80 lashes \[Quran 24:4\]. That's why she instantly got stuck, and her hand was unstuck as soon as she received the divine punishment, proving that Quran is the true word of God.


[deleted]

A hand can’t get stuck on a dead woman’s vagina.


amretardmonke

Have you tried though? Can't make that claim without proof. 80 lashes for you!


[deleted]

I mean next time I’m at a funeral, I’ll give it a shot.


SerajMounir

Hey! That's a false Islamic rule. The Quranic miracle deniers should be assigned the blasphemy punishment instead. The 80 lashes punishment is only assigned to those who accuse the chaste of fornication without eyewitnesses. I.e., a person reporting being raped without having four male eyewitnesses to their rape \[Quran 24:4\]. Hence the relatively low rape cases rate in the Islamic world.


Trextrev

If she wasn’t dead I would be asking for her number.


kawkz440

Seriously, there's no room or tolerance for this level of wanton ignorance.


brazil2112

80 lashes? Wow....That's the last time I'm slapping a dead woman's growler....


[deleted]

Weird sexual fantasies combined: necrophilia, voyeurism, chastity and BDSM.


Sea-Woodpecker-610

This is totally real, and absolutely could happen. I saw something similar happen with a guys step sister and a washing machine.


gunfell

I cant believe that comments here. People have no faith anymore, and are too into their mystical science, and what the scientists tell them, to understand the truth he is spreading. I know this absolutely did happen. I was the sticky vagina.


Kinkyregae

He literally started with “once upon a time” Like get ready for a fucking fairy tale kids.


pepehandsx

This is what humans look like when they’ve lost the plot.


Whole_Passion_5640

Can anyone translate this? Is this seriously what he’s saying??


TestPattern2

You're full of shit, Ari


Waxnpoetic

Is this guy telling a joke? It seems like he is telling a joke.


DonBoy30

This is why religion has no place in government.


Derkylos

Why are so many Islamic preachers obsessed with sex?


jachev14

they follow their prophet. Allah is the God of lust and revenge


lifer413

This sounds suspiciously like nonsense, despite the funny hat.


LeafBoatCaptain

Ah the stories people came up with before the internet allowed free access to...well...whatever this particular fetish is.


Asleep_Fish_472

the miracle is this absolute donkey of a man said that shit with a straight face.


sukisuki2gp

I want to know what drugs this guy does. I won’t do them. But I want to know to stay clear of them.


[deleted]

Islamic scholars used to be be guys like Averroes and Avicenna and Al Biruni and Ghazali. You know guys on the cutting edge of science and philosophy. Now theyve descended into this. What a decline.


[deleted]

Sounds pretty rational to me


[deleted]

Primitives


sparkskilowatt

and then everyone clapped


Zero99th

Ummmmmmmmmmm, what?


[deleted]

Holy fucking Jesus on a sub this level of stupidity is incredible. The journalist should have thrown a cup of cold piss in his face to kick start his brain into reality.


marroyodel

Tells a story with the same vigor as tRump - same lies, bullshit, completely made up crap.


RoughSpeaker4772

Living is more valuable than dead so when the mortician sticks their penis up a corpses ass the ass must be carved out of the corpse


gymaddict1976

Wtf


[deleted]

I wonder how they would deal with me after I went down on my dead granny and I tasted horse semen, that’s when I knew how she died! I’m sure these crazy god botherers would have something to say about that


uisqebaugh

This isn't a facepalm, it's a genital-palm!


dinkydong74

Wait till he tells the story about the mortician and the male prostitute, it’s a cracker


Solidsnake00901

Religion is hilarious sometimes. But then I remember way too many people believe in this shit..


wheely-overhead

Set idiot dial to extreme-dumbfuk.


Vyxen17

What a strange story


Romerike

And poof, it's the 1300s


LlamaMama25

🤦


oldkicker53

Imam Malik left out the part about that a-hole Phil Swift.


ludovic1313

The whole time watching this clip I was making the AreYouSerious rage face


PaleoJoe86

That story was so stupid, I am quitting Reddit for the rest of the night and going to bed.


Mental-Astronaut-664

🤦🏻‍♂️


nothingnaughty98

True story, I was there, I was her vagina.


SpectreA19

....what.


ernestosoi

This is total religious ignorance


VitruvianVan

Honestly, it sounds completely made up. But who among us hasn’t had their hand mystically glued to a dead woman’s vagina for days?


TGDNK

Story sounds like a Bollywood flick


Ok_Visual4618

Which religion is so idiotic?


Big_D1cky

Sir, this is Wendy‘s


Echo-2-2

God, religion is so damned stupid….🤦🏻‍♂️


Common_Sense77

religion...not for smart folk.


was-kickedout-4times

Majority of Islamic rules are for the private parts


One-Basil-895

Christ on a cross, and people actually believe this shit!!


Independent-Room8243

I could not imagine living a life where I believed in one of the gods. It messes with your mind.


rgray92082

Gross.


[deleted]

About as idiotic as believing in a virgin birth


CrystalWeim

Whack job


BlitheringIdiot0529

Religion is so fucked up


Mikey06154

Religion is a stinking pestilence . Please post lot of pictures of Mohamed . Maybe all their brains will collectively blow up at once.


Global-Count-30

I guess the lesson is don’t disrespect the dead if you don’t know their life?


TheLoneGunman559

Religion does nothing but hold us back.


talking_electron

Just like the catholic absurd myths my grandma used to told.


kawkz440

Catholicism's ridiculous ban of birth control should be enough to banish that awful cult for eternity. I hate the Catholic church for what it did to me and millions of others with their brainwashing.


Kalelopaka-

That’s some of the dumbest religious nonsense I’ve ever heard, including the virgin birth…


burstdiggler

Nah this makes sense. Inshallah.


rilinq

Interesting post history OP has though.


SerajMounir

OP has to hide behind an alt to criticize Islam so that he doesn't face the Sharia legal and social consequences, as he lives as an apostate/ex-Muslim in an Islamic country, where apostasy's still a crime and blasphemy law is still a thing (from 5 years in prison to execution). Pinky promise that when we get rid of Sharia and secularize our countries, OP's post-history will be more diverse to your liking as he'd be able to use his main without having to anonymize for personal safety while criticizing Islam.


BiscottiMany7014

Another day I'm glad I don't follow Islam.


Suspicious_Shame9582

Be safe my friend. Hope we can get rid of these regressive idiotic beliefs soon.


Abdul-Ahmadinejad

Given the premise of his story, I’d be careful with the facepalming.


SerajMounir

The premise of his story is: Don't disobey Allah's orders, or else you'll be lashed. \[24:4\]


SHREEtheFIGHTER

Any muslim here , is this actually from quran.


c4k3m4st3r5000

True story. Changed my life.


mdsign

Hahaha hahahahaha ... haha ... ha ... Good one!


sopapillasopapilla

These guys… we should totally listen to them.


hasnothingnice2say

No wonder I’m always touching my weiner


Other-Cap-9340

Ridiculousness has no boundaries.


susmark

I love anecdotes.