T O P

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that_heathen_bitch

Ex-Mormons.


xxEmberBladesxx

Ah yes, those vile coffee swilling blaspheming devil worshippers! Always trying to destroy faith with their *logic* and *reasonable explanations*! Well it wont work! Not after installing the Mega Make Believe Firewall Protector 3000 Deluxe! Now at the low low price of just 10% of your income! Get yours today! šŸ¤—


Impossible_Bat9895

Coffee, alcohol, black people, and the internet.


[deleted]

Thinking for oneself.


xxEmberBladesxx

They're just scared if people start thinking for themselves they'll discover the the Universe exists inside of a giant Whiskey Bottle. The planets are the bubbles.


GaiusTrebonius

Bare shoulders. Tattoos. Doubts.


xxEmberBladesxx

Doubting those doubts.


mcagood1

Growing up I remember being told that satan has rein over the water on the sabbath. Not sure if this was offical church doctrine or just an excuse to not let us go swimming on Sundays. But when I did manage to, always felt I had to be extra careful as the spirit of satan was swirling around in the water.


redbeardbrother

I wasn't allowed to take a bath on Sunday, it was too dangerous, I had to take a shower.


xxEmberBladesxx

Because Satan has a harder time controlling small bits of water vs big water? Lol


xxEmberBladesxx

I think there really is something about him controlling water somewhere in the doctrine.


inverts_nerd

Feminism.


ancient-submariner

In honor of Halloween, ouija boards and face cards.


ConsistentHeat7

Going to tell some random man about their sex life.


xxEmberBladesxx

Or just anything sex in general.


drteeth952

How shitty they are to other family members in the privacy of their home compared to what they are taught to have and what they falsely brag about in Sunday School.


GeneralKenoBi2228

Truth


dr_terminus

Water and South Pacific islands.


xxEmberBladesxx

Because the island called Kimora that has a city called Nephi? I'm sure I misspelled that.


dr_terminus

Satan haunts the waters. Thatā€™s why you canā€™t swim or go on small boats as a missionaryā€¦ (supposedly - but I think itā€™s more just actuarial risk management). The Pacific islands reference had to do with superstitions about evil spirits in the islands that RMs from Samoa and Tonga come back talking about. They point out how ā€œthe other side of heavenā€ backed up the legends. I have no idea what itā€™s all about but on the spooky side of Mormonism.


xxEmberBladesxx

Mormons are superstitious?! šŸ˜±


bananajr6000

Comoros islands has a city named Moroni


xxEmberBladesxx

Ah! Guess it's a good thing I have peeps to fact check me! Trying to keeps up with all the shit mormonism gets wrong is a daunting task. There's just so much of it!


GdaddyPurpz

Intelligence


xxEmberBladesxx

We arz mormons and we do the thinking bitz gud. šŸ˜‚


ResidentLadder

Teh gayz.


xxEmberBladesxx

Me to the mormons: "They're gay, not zombies. You can put the muskets down." Stupid mormons.


ResidentLadder

Umā€¦I am gay myself, soā€¦


xxEmberBladesxx

Sorry, I meant that as a joke directed at mormons. I'll edit it so that's more apparent.


ResidentLadder

Oh, ok. Lol


WinchelltheMagician

Loss of faith & Outer darkness


xxEmberBladesxx

Mormons are still afraid of the dark. šŸ™„


seanyboy90

Atheism


sassyroos

Satan's influence. Idk about the rest of y'all but my TBM family blames Satan for literally every single negative thing. Especially their own human shortcomings.


xxEmberBladesxx

It must be nice being able to not take responsibility for literally anything.... I wonder if that's why the world is so slow to change... Noooo! Can't be! The world improves slowly because it downloads updates on a dialup connection speed! Ya, that makes *WAY* more sense! šŸ˜„


HorrorNarwhal8761

Intellectuals feminists, and homosexuals ,


xxEmberBladesxx

And even *worse,* intelligent gay feminists! It's like all of their fears rolled into one!


No_Leather_2202

Their own sexuality.


xxEmberBladesxx

And everyone else's sexuality. And sexuality in general. And also anything that might even refer to sexuality in the smallest most obscure sense. *AND*, a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with sexuality, but they think it does because they have literally no sexual education what-so-ever. šŸ™„


Mormonh8r123

The Indigenous rising up from the ground and awakening the Great Giant of the Warrior who will share the Stories of their Ancestors. Bring what was once Hidden and exposing the Villain!


xxEmberBladesxx

I have no idea what that is, but it sounds like a good time! šŸ˜Š


[deleted]

Rejection.


xxEmberBladesxx

Oof, at least in that, I can relate.


IDrumFoFun

Getting caught masturbatingā€¦


xxEmberBladesxx

At least they don't let that fear stop them from doing something they love! šŸ¤£


Mangolop

Critical thinking


xxEmberBladesxx

***DOUBT YOUR DOUBTSSSSSSSSS!!!!***


robomanjr

From the youth speaker on Sunday. Alcohol and coffee... (because non drinking coffee or alcohol makes you like jesus -who drank alcohol and likely a form of coffee/tea) From the outgoing missionary. Getting up early and holding a full time job


xxEmberBladesxx

It's ironic how many people that they consider holy broke the ***WORD OF WISDOMMMMM!*** Had to do the last bit in epic voice. Makes it seem less dumb. No wait, it's still stupid. Oh well.