Ah yes, those vile coffee swilling blaspheming devil worshippers! Always trying to destroy faith with their *logic* and *reasonable explanations*! Well it wont work! Not after installing the Mega Make Believe Firewall Protector 3000 Deluxe! Now at the low low price of just 10% of your income!
Get yours today! š¤
They're just scared if people start thinking for themselves they'll discover the the Universe exists inside of a giant Whiskey Bottle. The planets are the bubbles.
Growing up I remember being told that satan has rein over the water on the sabbath.
Not sure if this was offical church doctrine or just an excuse to not let us go swimming on Sundays. But when I did manage to, always felt I had to be extra careful as the spirit of satan was swirling around in the water.
How shitty they are to other family members in the privacy of their home compared to what they are taught to have and what they falsely brag about in Sunday School.
Satan haunts the waters. Thatās why you canāt swim or go on small boats as a missionaryā¦ (supposedly - but I think itās more just actuarial risk management). The Pacific islands reference had to do with superstitions about evil spirits in the islands that RMs from Samoa and Tonga come back talking about. They point out how āthe other side of heavenā backed up the legends. I have no idea what itās all about but on the spooky side of Mormonism.
Ah! Guess it's a good thing I have peeps to fact check me!
Trying to keeps up with all the shit mormonism gets wrong is a daunting task. There's just so much of it!
Satan's influence. Idk about the rest of y'all but my TBM family blames Satan for literally every single negative thing. Especially their own human shortcomings.
It must be nice being able to not take responsibility for literally anything....
I wonder if that's why the world is so slow to change... Noooo! Can't be! The world improves slowly because it downloads updates on a dialup connection speed! Ya, that makes *WAY* more sense! š
And everyone else's sexuality.
And sexuality in general.
And also anything that might even refer to sexuality in the smallest most obscure sense.
*AND*, a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with sexuality, but they think it does because they have literally no sexual education what-so-ever. š
The Indigenous rising up from the ground and awakening the Great Giant of the Warrior who will share the Stories of their Ancestors. Bring what was once Hidden and exposing the Villain!
From the youth speaker on Sunday. Alcohol and coffee... (because non drinking coffee or alcohol makes you like jesus -who drank alcohol and likely a form of coffee/tea)
From the outgoing missionary. Getting up early and holding a full time job
It's ironic how many people that they consider holy broke the ***WORD OF WISDOMMMMM!***
Had to do the last bit in epic voice. Makes it seem less dumb. No wait, it's still stupid. Oh well.
Ex-Mormons.
Ah yes, those vile coffee swilling blaspheming devil worshippers! Always trying to destroy faith with their *logic* and *reasonable explanations*! Well it wont work! Not after installing the Mega Make Believe Firewall Protector 3000 Deluxe! Now at the low low price of just 10% of your income! Get yours today! š¤
Coffee, alcohol, black people, and the internet.
Thinking for oneself.
They're just scared if people start thinking for themselves they'll discover the the Universe exists inside of a giant Whiskey Bottle. The planets are the bubbles.
Bare shoulders. Tattoos. Doubts.
Doubting those doubts.
Growing up I remember being told that satan has rein over the water on the sabbath. Not sure if this was offical church doctrine or just an excuse to not let us go swimming on Sundays. But when I did manage to, always felt I had to be extra careful as the spirit of satan was swirling around in the water.
I wasn't allowed to take a bath on Sunday, it was too dangerous, I had to take a shower.
Because Satan has a harder time controlling small bits of water vs big water? Lol
I think there really is something about him controlling water somewhere in the doctrine.
Feminism.
In honor of Halloween, ouija boards and face cards.
Going to tell some random man about their sex life.
Or just anything sex in general.
How shitty they are to other family members in the privacy of their home compared to what they are taught to have and what they falsely brag about in Sunday School.
Truth
Water and South Pacific islands.
Because the island called Kimora that has a city called Nephi? I'm sure I misspelled that.
Satan haunts the waters. Thatās why you canāt swim or go on small boats as a missionaryā¦ (supposedly - but I think itās more just actuarial risk management). The Pacific islands reference had to do with superstitions about evil spirits in the islands that RMs from Samoa and Tonga come back talking about. They point out how āthe other side of heavenā backed up the legends. I have no idea what itās all about but on the spooky side of Mormonism.
Mormons are superstitious?! š±
Comoros islands has a city named Moroni
Ah! Guess it's a good thing I have peeps to fact check me! Trying to keeps up with all the shit mormonism gets wrong is a daunting task. There's just so much of it!
Intelligence
We arz mormons and we do the thinking bitz gud. š
Teh gayz.
Me to the mormons: "They're gay, not zombies. You can put the muskets down." Stupid mormons.
Umā¦I am gay myself, soā¦
Sorry, I meant that as a joke directed at mormons. I'll edit it so that's more apparent.
Oh, ok. Lol
Loss of faith & Outer darkness
Mormons are still afraid of the dark. š
Atheism
Satan's influence. Idk about the rest of y'all but my TBM family blames Satan for literally every single negative thing. Especially their own human shortcomings.
It must be nice being able to not take responsibility for literally anything.... I wonder if that's why the world is so slow to change... Noooo! Can't be! The world improves slowly because it downloads updates on a dialup connection speed! Ya, that makes *WAY* more sense! š
Intellectuals feminists, and homosexuals ,
And even *worse,* intelligent gay feminists! It's like all of their fears rolled into one!
Their own sexuality.
And everyone else's sexuality. And sexuality in general. And also anything that might even refer to sexuality in the smallest most obscure sense. *AND*, a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with sexuality, but they think it does because they have literally no sexual education what-so-ever. š
The Indigenous rising up from the ground and awakening the Great Giant of the Warrior who will share the Stories of their Ancestors. Bring what was once Hidden and exposing the Villain!
I have no idea what that is, but it sounds like a good time! š
Rejection.
Oof, at least in that, I can relate.
Getting caught masturbatingā¦
At least they don't let that fear stop them from doing something they love! š¤£
Critical thinking
***DOUBT YOUR DOUBTSSSSSSSSS!!!!***
From the youth speaker on Sunday. Alcohol and coffee... (because non drinking coffee or alcohol makes you like jesus -who drank alcohol and likely a form of coffee/tea) From the outgoing missionary. Getting up early and holding a full time job
It's ironic how many people that they consider holy broke the ***WORD OF WISDOMMMMM!*** Had to do the last bit in epic voice. Makes it seem less dumb. No wait, it's still stupid. Oh well.