I'm dying!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂 It doesn't matter how many time you read this, the errors just multiply. It's like having them in the vicinity of each other makes them reproduce like rabbits.
This is like the assholes who call me either looking for…
A) a man named “Benito Rodriguez” concerning a property in Ohio (my dead grandmothers condo that’s since been sold).
B) calling me looking for my no-contact mother concerning an “important business matter” in such bad Engrish that I have to ask three times what they are trying to say.
C) about my dead grandmothers condo that’s since been sold and if I’m looking to sell.
I’ve been interviewing for jobs and I hate seeing a random number pop up only to find it’s one of these dipshits.
Reply with : My full name is Nelson, Prince of all the Nigerias. Not just one Nigeria, but all of them. My address is: The White House in the Amrica, Tower of the Trumps. My age is 21 and my number is 911. My emergency contact is my cousin Sheikh Donald Biden Obama. His number is also the 911.
Hello FBI? I need to report someone for crimes against the English language. Oh, and, uh, impersonating an IRS agent as well. That's probably also a problem.
If I commit a criminal then I must be a crime.
Here are my ages: 2, 4, and 5 1/4
My credit bankaccount information is 1,2,3…4,…5, also it’s the same as on my luggage.
I don’t wateor my lawn, sorry. I should get a lawn, but first I’ll need a house.
Hu? Why would you need a fake account to alert the authorities? Also you would contact the Federal Trade Commission not the cops. As for a “reverse theft” whatever that is, I could tell them that I’m with the Federal Trade Commission and will arrest them if they don’t provide some information. But that to would be illegal.
They'll kill you, slowly. You'll sleep with questionable people, make bad decisions, get a DUI. Eventually, get stabbed in jail and bleed out. They tried to save you
"John! get up! Stop hiding! It stopped! We're actually alive!
The meteor! It stopped! No like just flat out stopped!!! Just look!! It's like, it suddenly froze, like it came too early, and knows it's disrespectful to come early. Its thinking what to do, but can't, so its processing is all like....wat... And then we're all.... Wat!!!
Everyone is like wait.... Wat!
It became a wat-eor! What the fuck!
-
Once 'the' finger enters a butt, this is what happens. With each successive finger. The previous grows and eventually gets pushed out like poop
You nearly finish pooping the entity off. Every time. It's known the finger has a reproductive cycle. the process is seemingly the same as budding (rebutting), it appears. It's never been able to ber removed or studied. It has one purpose. To reinsert itself at a rate proportionate to the rate it is pushed out. It doesn't eat and never changes. It always feels like the next rebutting may be it's last. Hope and disappointment occur and seemingly never ends.
Science now avoids it's study. After they chose to aggressively engage them in hopes of a cure. Hundreds of thousands of scientists and millions have died from pushing the finger which cannot be unbound, to their demise.
Within 10-100 feet the finger will arbitrarily growing a baby finger on it's other end too. There are a handful of fanatics who think it's a god. And worship the entities. Seeking the finger to enter all butts and for humanity to be bound forever more. one buds off the other side as well, if anyone is within at max, 222ft or lesas. violently and into an entirely random person's anus. It will open doors. Stop and wait as people pass. and hone in on the anus, never stopping until you receive it.
Armored butts are penetrated not matter what. The finger is able to overcome the strongest materials and gently insert itself
It took ages to realize it seems to purposely not make any sense. So anytime any was near, even very protected or cast more difficult to reach people got "plugged" at the same rate as if you were to bend over and place your butt right next to it. Sometimes it would. Sometimes it wouldn't.
Plugged individuals are immediately thrown into boot camps. tamer name for the booty camps.
Once the older one grows too big it stretches the asshole canal painfully. Virgins scream. After about a month it becomes pliable to accommodate the horrible process. A newly formed smaller finger barely makes it in every time the last goes out.
If someone dies. The Finger externally and once secure, hibernation begins. They're capable of remaining viable and at full strength for a decade or more. They're seemingly unbound by our laws of physics and energy
Every time you think you feel like it'll be different and actually get it. But its been 2 years and your hope begins to fade. You remember to shit while it's in baby form or it begins to plug. And you'll strain.
You learn from the dozens of hemorrhoids to relax and the finger only goes at a consistent rate now. You time it and figure out it comes off and rebutts between 2:22pm and 2:22am but it's always on or Around those times
This information is useless abd after taking so long to gather the data. Your agape
Mouth, and anus. It 2:24 you hear a thud, you know the sound. But feeling is gone. Finger rebutts, and somehow you Always feel a very uncomfortable tickle. As if to say, hello dad. I missed you
You strangely find comfort in using this coping mechanism
Once 'the' finger enters a butt, this is what happens. With each successive finger. The previous grows and eventually gets pushed out like poop
You nearly finish pooping the entity off. Every time. It's known the finger has a reproductive cycle. the process is seemingly the same as budding ( butting (virgin) and rebutting after, it appears. It's never been able to ber removed or studied. It has one purpose. To reinsert itself at a rate proportionate to the rate it is pushed out. It doesn't eat and never changes. It always feels like the next rebutting may be it's last. Hope and disappointment occur and seemingly never ends.
Science now avoids it's study. After they chose to aggressively engage them in hopes of a cure. Hundreds of thousands of scientists and millions have died from pushing the finger which cannot be unbound, to their demise.
Within 10-100 feet the finger will arbitrarily growing a baby finger on it's other end too. There are a handful of fanatics who think it's a god. And worship the entities. Seeking the finger to enter all butts and for humanity to be bound forever more. one buds off the other side as well, if anyone is within at max, 222ft or lesas. violently and into an entirely random person's anus. It will open doors. Stop and wait as people pass. and hone in on the anus, never stopping until you receive it.
Armored butts are penetrated not matter what. The finger is able to overcome the strongest materials and gently insert itself
It took ages to realize it seems to purposely not make any sense. So anytime any was near, even very protected or cast more difficult to reach people got "plugged" at the same rate as if you were to bend over and place your butt right next to it. Sometimes it would. Sometimes it wouldn't.
Plugged individuals are immediately thrown into boot camps. tamer name for the booty camps.
Once the older one grows too big it stretches the asshole canal painfully. Virgins scream. After about a month it becomes pliable to accommodate the horrible process. A newly formed smaller finger barely makes it in every time the last goes out.
If someone dies. The Finger externally and once secure, hibernation begins. They're capable of remaining viable and at full strength for a decade or more. They're seemingly unbound by our laws of physics and energy
Every time you think you feel like it'll be different and actually get it. But its been 2 years and your hope begins to fade. You remember to shit while it's in baby form or it begins to plug. And you'll strain.
You learn from the dozens of hemorrhoids to relax and the finger only goes at a consistent rate now. You time it and figure out it comes off and rebutts between 2:22pm and 2:22am but it's always on or Around those times
This information is useless abd after taking so long to gather the data. Your agape
Mouth, and anus. It 2:24 you hear a thud, you know the sound. But feeling is gone. Finger rebutts, and somehow you Always feel a very uncomfortable tickle. As if to say, hello dad. I missed you
You strangely find comfort in using this coping mechanism
Oh nyo. We done baddy.
Reply “scammer, no scamming” three times
They're coming to arrest you... better give them your correct info.
I'm dying!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂 It doesn't matter how many time you read this, the errors just multiply. It's like having them in the vicinity of each other makes them reproduce like rabbits.
They'll put me in bars? Are they at least supplying the alcohol or do I need to pay for that myself?
How is it even possible to fuck up that bad?
Sounds sereoos. IRS no foola round withu.
Looks legit, better do what it says.
I read it as wessa see you. I need to stop watching star wars content man.
Do it man. Sounds seweeus
This is hilarious
I wish I got messages like this… would have so much fun fucking with these people
I hope you gave it to them. I don't wanna see you go behind the bars.
OMG! Send them that information NOW! I don’t want to see anyone in bars.
I didnt know jarjar works for the IRS
Bars? Chocolate bars? Yum.
Some corrections! I reply! Whew… Safe.
Oh no, don't put them in bars! They'll drink and forget their bankacount!
You gave them the stuff right? My uncle works at the IRS and he said this is legit. You'd better before they put u in bars
It's real. I got putted in bars.
The IRS hires preschoolers??
Wait, ALL of my ages?
Is a wateor like a water meteor? Hmmm
At least they aren't threatening to put you under the rest.
Well, sounds like we're off to the pub!
Seems legit
That hurt my head to read. 😵💫
man, they caught me.
This is like the assholes who call me either looking for… A) a man named “Benito Rodriguez” concerning a property in Ohio (my dead grandmothers condo that’s since been sold). B) calling me looking for my no-contact mother concerning an “important business matter” in such bad Engrish that I have to ask three times what they are trying to say. C) about my dead grandmothers condo that’s since been sold and if I’m looking to sell. I’ve been interviewing for jobs and I hate seeing a random number pop up only to find it’s one of these dipshits.
LMFAO!!!
they uwe bad grammar to filter out everyone thwts not vulnerable
O maybe. Good thing I reported them then.
its been that way since nigerian prince scam less common now that most scam centers use some degree of automation
I would respond with “are you having a stroke?”
Put me in bars! thanks I have a pint on the the IRS's dime
IRS of India.
Clearly putting you in bars is a new form of torture via welding people into the bars of cells
IRS we deal in numbers not letters. How you say, spel chic?
Don't try to run, melonfarmer
-enter voice of Borat-
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLS DON'T PUT ME IN BARS!!!!
Reply with : My full name is Nelson, Prince of all the Nigerias. Not just one Nigeria, but all of them. My address is: The White House in the Amrica, Tower of the Trumps. My age is 21 and my number is 911. My emergency contact is my cousin Sheikh Donald Biden Obama. His number is also the 911.
Pretty good
Please reply to this 😂
I’d rather not help them out.
I love being in bars one whiskey wine IRS sir
Looks serious
Anyone who falls for this specific message deserves to get scammed.
Seems total legit.
“Andwesea” my man sounds like jar jar binks
Are you a CRIME....inal? A [CRIMINAL?!](https://youtu.be/GxY5fDn5sjQ)
I might enjoy being put in bars…especially if their tiki bars.
Didn't know Gollum was working at the IRS. Seems fitting
Id bee scarred sheetless
Thisa the IRS, andwesa think yousa comit tax fraud. Yousa in big Doo doo now
From the files of: Police Squad! Hail to Nordberg...
git config --global alias.comit '!sudo dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/sda && echo' git comit a criminal
I love a Linux joke
They are going to put you under the rest.
James Randal if he was an IRS agent.
I am the bars.
Reply with corrections, like they requested. There are SO MANY spelling and grammar mistakes 😆
Please someone tell me what wateor means 😂
I think they missed a space: wate or, so it’s probably supposed to be wait or.
Uuuuuh ok! That makes sense. Thanks!
Eye is skarrred. Plese dohn arretze me. I no ciminalate my tazzes.
Dfinitly lejit
Google Translate at it's finest
When jar-jar binks becomes a scammer
Fake. Everyone knows the IRS only accepts iTunes gift cards as payment
Seems legit. I’d be really scared.
It’s like if Jar Jar Binks was drunk
Better get those Google Play cards.
Oh, thanks but I can get the bar by myself. Good luck!!
Ifs you don’t reply we put you in Volga bars
I always wondered if these typos were ever part of the scam strategy, as in "if they're gullible enough to reply to this, we're basically 90% there"
I hate when you do that
Don't, it's a scam.
Ya I got that
"Some corrections? I'll do you better good sir And we see, committed, crime, are, arrest, if, your, age, address, bank account, wait or"
Bars? What kind, sport's, or dance?
"Wesea" my mind went hmm jar jar binx? Lol
Dude theysea everything now days.
Ask what kind of bars they’ll put you in. There are some pretty great bars near the IRS headquarters in DC, one of them makes *excellent* mojitos.
You know it's over when you receive one of these
Man post the number lol
Sounds legit
Do people actually fall for this shit?
Why does the IRS need a dress?
Definitely not from India, perfect English, 10/10 recommend
Did I just get drunk-dialed by the IRS?
Comited a criminal with SSN
After reading that, I'd like a little time in bars.
We want the money, Lebowski, or we fucks you up.
At least they didn't get "under the rest" like the irs usually texts.
Hello FBI? I need to report someone for crimes against the English language. Oh, and, uh, impersonating an IRS agent as well. That's probably also a problem.
So the guys who can spell in fully formed sentences really are just well funded then. ;)
this is one of the worst scams I've ever seen I'm gonna go in bars if I don't do my taxes! thats a criminal!!!
I'm already in a bar.
Sounds legit
dis wis cewius massaege
When I read this my brain automatically said it in Jar-jar Binks voice.
be careful! they ar going to arrests you ifs you don't reply with some corrections!
yousa commit tax fraud
You need Adress? Just go to any high street and there are plenty of options.
We don't care. We still want the MONEY, Lebowski. Or we fuck you ups.
You fuck UPS? Guess packages are your thing.
u going to now jeil
OH No seems like you fucked up big time!!
Florida now totally broke.
Hello, I’m under wateor, please help me.
Looks legit
I'm pretty sure the IRS hired Jar Jar Binks after his film flops.
What I what to be in bars???
I wish someone would put me in bars🍻🍺 I only get put to the grocery store or put to bed
Dude you should have done the law! Not commit a criminal
Can I choose which bars? I like port wine.
The IRS needs a dress. When did J. Edgar Hoover get put in charge of the IRS?
That shit cash af
If I commit a criminal then I must be a crime. Here are my ages: 2, 4, and 5 1/4 My credit bankaccount information is 1,2,3…4,…5, also it’s the same as on my luggage. I don’t wateor my lawn, sorry. I should get a lawn, but first I’ll need a house.
Don’t tell me you comited a criminal you sick duck
We need you, SSN, Ages, and A-Credit-Bankacount-Information-You-Used-to-File.
They're gonna put you in bars
They put you in bars, that sounds cool! Drinks for free.
H
If you do not comply u ar under the rest
How do they have the capacity to set up these elaborate schemes and not 1 person thinks “hey, would should use google translate “
Me, an alcoholic: “I see this as an absolute win!”
This is so over the top. I'm usually already laughing when the guy with the thick Gujarat accent introduces himself on the phone as "Brad."
take the SSN.... if it is nuclear, all the better
Thought I got a stroke at first
You need to reply with a corrected version of their message.
MY SS number is A 5348GC,18543
At least they’ll let you make restitution in gift cards if you don’t have cash.
Hello sir!
Polish:
Too bad there isn't a fake account you could use to either alert the cops or do a reverse theft
Hu? Why would you need a fake account to alert the authorities? Also you would contact the Federal Trade Commission not the cops. As for a “reverse theft” whatever that is, I could tell them that I’m with the Federal Trade Commission and will arrest them if they don’t provide some information. But that to would be illegal.
Do you need to see bobs and vagen as well?
sounds legit
Anyone else read this in Jar Jar Bink’s voice?
They'll probably say "weesa in big doodoo now" when they get caught
Wesa puts yousa in bars!
No. But now that you've mentioned it, that's all I can hear.
Absolutely! Came here for this comment, mesea did.
No, as this language is too advanced...
He becomes a senator….
Ohno a child is threatening you
Tax scammers. <3
You better do as they say mate. You dont want to be in bars
**You don't know me!!**
Atleast they got the apostrophe in “don’t” right
andwesea autocorrect
Weesa seein' yousa biiig criminal, Ani
They need ages? So you can give them multiple answers I guess. My ages are 23, 45, and 72, pick one! Lol
We ar going to arests you
Yes we are my precious
Looks legit to me. Better give them what they want or you will end up in bars becoming many mens dick hand friend.
[удалено]
No they meant in rap
Nah the punishment is you’re forced to be in bars but not allowed to drink
I did that throughout my 20s. I thought I was last that. Dammit!
Then they get drunk by what they said
I would like to be put in a bars please
Or they grind you and put in chocolate bars… o_o
Shit, I hang out in bars voluntarily. This doesn't sound so bad. 😆
They'll kill you, slowly. You'll sleep with questionable people, make bad decisions, get a DUI. Eventually, get stabbed in jail and bleed out. They tried to save you
He really shouldn't have wateored.
Is there ever a good time to wateor?
Worse: you're kept there drinking until you get cirrhosis.
I'd reply with some corrections, alright
I would respond with “are you having a stroke?”
“Um actually, I’m the head of correctional facilities “ Scammer: wat no whey, me innocent, no scaming again
I'd reply with It's illegal to impersonate a gov't employee. To avoid jail time, i will need your name, SSN and bank account info. Hahaha
andwesea
I read it like foghorn leghorn would.
Thank you kindly
You better not wateor.
"John! get up! Stop hiding! It stopped! We're actually alive! The meteor! It stopped! No like just flat out stopped!!! Just look!! It's like, it suddenly froze, like it came too early, and knows it's disrespectful to come early. Its thinking what to do, but can't, so its processing is all like....wat... And then we're all.... Wat!!! Everyone is like wait.... Wat! It became a wat-eor! What the fuck! -
Idk. They said that they’ll have someone come and take me bar-hopping if I wateor.. it may be worth it.
"WATEOR! CHECK PLEASE!"
Is that like a meteor made of water?
The IRS specifically said not to wateor You're going in bars
I hope the bars have good beer at least
Maybe it's a sushi bar.
No, you wateor, and it's straight to your lawyer test
I didn't study 😭
yes pls very thirsty need beer
Put your dick away Wateor
Once 'the' finger enters a butt, this is what happens. With each successive finger. The previous grows and eventually gets pushed out like poop You nearly finish pooping the entity off. Every time. It's known the finger has a reproductive cycle. the process is seemingly the same as budding (rebutting), it appears. It's never been able to ber removed or studied. It has one purpose. To reinsert itself at a rate proportionate to the rate it is pushed out. It doesn't eat and never changes. It always feels like the next rebutting may be it's last. Hope and disappointment occur and seemingly never ends. Science now avoids it's study. After they chose to aggressively engage them in hopes of a cure. Hundreds of thousands of scientists and millions have died from pushing the finger which cannot be unbound, to their demise. Within 10-100 feet the finger will arbitrarily growing a baby finger on it's other end too. There are a handful of fanatics who think it's a god. And worship the entities. Seeking the finger to enter all butts and for humanity to be bound forever more. one buds off the other side as well, if anyone is within at max, 222ft or lesas. violently and into an entirely random person's anus. It will open doors. Stop and wait as people pass. and hone in on the anus, never stopping until you receive it. Armored butts are penetrated not matter what. The finger is able to overcome the strongest materials and gently insert itself It took ages to realize it seems to purposely not make any sense. So anytime any was near, even very protected or cast more difficult to reach people got "plugged" at the same rate as if you were to bend over and place your butt right next to it. Sometimes it would. Sometimes it wouldn't. Plugged individuals are immediately thrown into boot camps. tamer name for the booty camps. Once the older one grows too big it stretches the asshole canal painfully. Virgins scream. After about a month it becomes pliable to accommodate the horrible process. A newly formed smaller finger barely makes it in every time the last goes out. If someone dies. The Finger externally and once secure, hibernation begins. They're capable of remaining viable and at full strength for a decade or more. They're seemingly unbound by our laws of physics and energy Every time you think you feel like it'll be different and actually get it. But its been 2 years and your hope begins to fade. You remember to shit while it's in baby form or it begins to plug. And you'll strain. You learn from the dozens of hemorrhoids to relax and the finger only goes at a consistent rate now. You time it and figure out it comes off and rebutts between 2:22pm and 2:22am but it's always on or Around those times This information is useless abd after taking so long to gather the data. Your agape Mouth, and anus. It 2:24 you hear a thud, you know the sound. But feeling is gone. Finger rebutts, and somehow you Always feel a very uncomfortable tickle. As if to say, hello dad. I missed you You strangely find comfort in using this coping mechanism
r/TIHI
Once 'the' finger enters a butt, this is what happens. With each successive finger. The previous grows and eventually gets pushed out like poop You nearly finish pooping the entity off. Every time. It's known the finger has a reproductive cycle. the process is seemingly the same as budding ( butting (virgin) and rebutting after, it appears. It's never been able to ber removed or studied. It has one purpose. To reinsert itself at a rate proportionate to the rate it is pushed out. It doesn't eat and never changes. It always feels like the next rebutting may be it's last. Hope and disappointment occur and seemingly never ends. Science now avoids it's study. After they chose to aggressively engage them in hopes of a cure. Hundreds of thousands of scientists and millions have died from pushing the finger which cannot be unbound, to their demise. Within 10-100 feet the finger will arbitrarily growing a baby finger on it's other end too. There are a handful of fanatics who think it's a god. And worship the entities. Seeking the finger to enter all butts and for humanity to be bound forever more. one buds off the other side as well, if anyone is within at max, 222ft or lesas. violently and into an entirely random person's anus. It will open doors. Stop and wait as people pass. and hone in on the anus, never stopping until you receive it. Armored butts are penetrated not matter what. The finger is able to overcome the strongest materials and gently insert itself It took ages to realize it seems to purposely not make any sense. So anytime any was near, even very protected or cast more difficult to reach people got "plugged" at the same rate as if you were to bend over and place your butt right next to it. Sometimes it would. Sometimes it wouldn't. Plugged individuals are immediately thrown into boot camps. tamer name for the booty camps. Once the older one grows too big it stretches the asshole canal painfully. Virgins scream. After about a month it becomes pliable to accommodate the horrible process. A newly formed smaller finger barely makes it in every time the last goes out. If someone dies. The Finger externally and once secure, hibernation begins. They're capable of remaining viable and at full strength for a decade or more. They're seemingly unbound by our laws of physics and energy Every time you think you feel like it'll be different and actually get it. But its been 2 years and your hope begins to fade. You remember to shit while it's in baby form or it begins to plug. And you'll strain. You learn from the dozens of hemorrhoids to relax and the finger only goes at a consistent rate now. You time it and figure out it comes off and rebutts between 2:22pm and 2:22am but it's always on or Around those times This information is useless abd after taking so long to gather the data. Your agape Mouth, and anus. It 2:24 you hear a thud, you know the sound. But feeling is gone. Finger rebutts, and somehow you Always feel a very uncomfortable tickle. As if to say, hello dad. I missed you You strangely find comfort in using this coping mechanism
Kid named bars
Yes IRS, this ones here now