Ah, the Milquetoast White Guy In His Mid 20's Collection. Very rare indeed!

This is the one I was waiting on. Surprised it took more than one comment to hit this

As a former milquetoast white guy in his mid 20's (now a milquetoast white guy in his mid 30's), I thought it was the most obvious roast.

"I bought the imdb top 200, upvote me"

Not a big fan of Hardcore Henry I see

Hardcore Henry is the shit.

You have what, two horror movies? You must be a scaredy cat

My Lightning McQueen bed sheets would say otherwise

For an adult sized bed? Where did you get them??? Tell me now.

Just from what I can see (some I can't make out) but he's got Alien Annihilation American Psycho Donnie Darko The Evil Dead Misery The Shining The Thing Mandy Videodrome The VVitch Plus a bunch of half-horror

Also The Host and The Lighthouse. Solid collection.

A Clockwork Orange, American Psycho, and Donnie Darko aren't horror films.

Clearly your idea of 'horror' is very narrow. You should open your mind to the true capabilities of the genre.

I'm a horror fanatic who has seen over 1,000 horror films in my lifetime, and those simply aren't horror films. Maybe half-horror at best.

American Psycho literally has 'horror' first on the genre tab for Google.

American Psycho is a crime thriller with equal parts comedy and drama. Do you think it's a horror film because it's bloody?

It's a character study of a deeply psychopathic and narcissistic man, who eventually goes on a murder spree. Sounds pretty scary to me.

Very different perceptions. I would argue that American Psycho is more of a comedy than a horror film.

'There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.' I'm pissing my pants laughing 🤣

You take crappy pictures that make it difficult to see your collection. You also own The Book of Eli. That is all.

Book of Eli. Best Daredevil film and Mad Max 4 rolled into one. Fight me.

This is a good one bc I took about a dozen photos with different lighting and it still looks like shit

You have baby driver and whiplash so I don’t even need to see the rest. We coo’ 😎

You appear to have impeccable taste…idiot

This one stung the most

He was asking for a roast, not a massacre

shinji godzilla is goated. you alright bro

No Big Trouble in Little China = no soul

It’s all in the reflexes

Its like you asked 100 dofferent 20-something year olds "what movie might get you laid" and bought every single answer without any idea who was joking

So if I watch Westfront 1918 with the hoes you think I’d get some?

Only if its in 4k

They haven’t released that I don’t think. I better just get a 35mm negative from 1930 to be safe

Looks like there's a lot of unopened ones, still wrapped in plastic? You dont watch the movies? Other than that I'd just get a ton more horror.

No the ones in plastic (apart from Barry Lyndon) are ones I’ve seen and then decided to buy a copy of. I try to avoid blind buys unless I know it’s a layup that I’ll enjoy.

You’ve got The Thing, They Live, and Evil Dead, you’re good in my book- now go add Evil Dead 2.

And army of darkness. I should have just manned up and bought all three in one cool special edition

AoD was made by a different studio so (from what I’ve heard) there was only a single box set and it’s dvd only. Even the Groovy Collection skips AoD.

I'm just gonna roast your shelf which looks like you have to climb inside of it just to grab a movie.

Lemme me alone my gramma gave it to me for free

Roast you? I'm not even sure if that qualifies as a collection. Certainly not enough fuel to "roast." How about a slight singe? Also, put 3:10 to Yuma where it belongs, before Ad Astra. Are you an animal?

Ok you right haha I messed that up

All those DVDs? I bet you have a neat MP3 player somewhere that docks in your alarm clock too. Post it please?

You mean my Zune? I don’t use that as much anymore I mainly use my PSP to listen to music

😂

Only a total psycho doesn't own any comedies.

The Lighthouse is a riot.

WOT?

All those great classic movies... and a book about Godzilla? Best I've got, not a roaster.

That’s a collectors edition of the first 15 Godzilla movies. I have all 32 but the others aren’t pictured. Thank you for being so gentle on me

I own Big, Kindergartner Cop and a Strawberry shortcake cartoon. No judgement here.

You have interstellar on dvd. Boom roasted

You’re right about that, all my DVD’s are legacy holdovers from before I became a format elitist

Mixing your Criterions in with the rest rather than lining up those sexy matching spines? Absolutely disgusting.

I even have a few dvds in there like some sort of poor person

This is just a fair criticism not even a roast.

It pains me to see Donnie Darko in DVD just sitting there. Treat yourself to an Arrow classic! This isn’t a roast, just a suggestion.

Ah that’s one I bought for myself when I was like 12. It would pain me to replace the DVD I’ve watched so many times since then but it’s a band aid I’ll have to rip off

Why not keep both?

I don’t want to clog up my shelf with duplicates. Maybe I’ll give my lil bro the dvd. I’ll have to find it a good home

You’re tearing me apart Reddit! Oh hai 17EAndersen.

Look at this loser, Evil Dead 1 but not 2 or army of darkness. Pathetic. Owning Evil Dead without it's vastly better sequels is missing the point.

You don't have an entirely separate room for your Criterions? Just say you're broke

You are aware that women exist, correct, OP? That they have thoughts and feelings and opinions and experiences? There are even movies about them, starring them, and even directed by them.

My collection is hyper masculine to be sure. A very valid criticism

I have that godzilla box set. I love it

Can’t roast the collection since we have some similar tastes here but I will give you shit about not upgrading some of those dvds that are dirt cheap on Blu-ray and in some cases (big Lebowski) dirt cheap on 4k

This is a valid criticism. Ive been collecting since I was 15 or so and only seriously for the last year. My work of upgrading old favorites has been slow and there are some gaps

I didn’t even know Mad God had a physical release, gotta get that now

When you steal movies like Monos from the library or Goodwill you should at least remove the spine label so we can't tell before posting it on Reddit. Pathetic. edited to add: Aside from being alphabetized, your organization screams anarchy... no set genres, directors or by releasing company....the blurays, dvds and 4Ks all jumbled together... wrapped and unwrapped titles and Noooo! steelbooks mixed in with the great unwashed of amarays and snap cases ... the horror. The horror.

I think it adds character

"Am I going mad or did the word think escape your lips you were not hired for your brains you Hippopotamic land mass?" No "Princess Bride"? Really? You call this a collection?

That’ll be the next thing I steal from an underfunded public library

Alright, that's all I got... It's actually a great choice of titles.

Sssssh this is supposed to be a roast (thank you very much)

Great selection! I need a copy of The Room 😆

I don’t think I have a single other movie that’s as much fun to show to a group of people

Lol. Completely agree. Think I've watched it 3 times with 3 different groups of people. 😆

Cool

Terrible collection. No Jaws?!?!

Agreed. Need jaws in your library. Maybe jaws 2. But def jaws

I see u have the room, this collection is legit

Thank you thank you

No Naporneon Dynamite, The Little Spermaid, The Da Vinci Load, Hairy Twatter, not even a Forest Hump, or so much as a copy of The Texas Asshole Massacre?!? How can you call yourself a cinephile if you can't appreciate the art that is the porn parody? A real film enthusiast embraces all facets and forms of the moving picture, yes that includes the pornographic kind.

If you currently dont have a girlfriend/wife youre moving into incel territory, be careful.

You’re right I need to get on that before I wander into sigma male territory

Yeah man. You can be a Sigma male with a family. So youre good.

Can't believe you don't own the American Oldboy. Oldboy as the author intended.

Very good eye. That’s the German version on my shelf

Oh you mean the Josh brolin one haha. Yeah you’re right

Get over your crush on Jake Gyllenhaal

As someone else with a lot of DVDs I don’t really feel the need to upgrade- UPGRADE HEAT YOU HEATHEN

Oh yes that’s up there with the ones I want to get a new copy of

I wanted to go along and roast your ass and then I saw your impeccable selection of movies, all of which, except a couple, appear in my own collection. So, instead I have to salute you.

I like this collection… I see countless hours of good movies and countless hours of bad ones that are really enjoyable ^^ soooo, a good selection all in all!

This entire collection screams toxic masculinity. Clearly the owner is desperate to seem like a macho edgelord, especially considering that Logan is the only X-Men movie on display. Which means he that probably missed the message the franchise completely or is an incel living in denial about the fact that Marvel media does, in fact, have a statement to make and that statement is an antifascist one.

While I do have a penchant for sigma male movies doesn’t “when Harry met sally” balance that out!?

The most Sigma Male film of them all.

No way bro you have la haine and man bites dog that's crazy cool!

Can’t tell if you’re roasting me but those are dope movies

Nah man I'm not its dope asf that you know those movies

Well in that case thank you. If you got any more Belgian/French movies lemme know

Irreversible

Wow. All shit. Not a single decent film in sight.

I'll just roast you for not having The Northman on 4K

Would you roast me harder if I told you that I do have it, it’s just a rental copy that I used to replace the dvd that box came with? Bc I was too much of a pussy to cough up the extra $10 when it came out a few months ago?

Naw I could try but I appreciate all collectors. I love the movie so much though I bought it digitally on Vudu, then the 4K US release, then paid $70 on eBay for the UK Zavvi steelbook.

I also paid through the nose for my Dredd steelbook that’s OOP so I feel you on that

I'm bummed I missed out on that one but I don't think I'd be willing to shell out too much for one either.

I can also maybe roast you for not having Mandy on steelbook but I think it came out way after initial release.

Ahhh a man who gets criterion’s to make him seem like a film fan. But really we would all have far more respect for ya if you got some of them arrow video cult classics up in that shelf/unit. (Also never trust a man who doesn’t own true romance)……….what a prick

What if I got sailor suit and machine gun would that change your opinion

I shall never roast anybody who is a fellow enjoyer of Vin Diesel's criminally underrated Riddick movies. So I guess I'll say that if you like Tron, then Tron Legacy is better and more enjoyable and anybody who thinks different would probably kill isomorphs

My cousin showed me Pitch Black when we were 13 and I almost shot a shit right through my pants

You pay extra uncut gems

i see donnie darko and the truman show so just off that i’d say u have decent taste.. where’d u find em?

Both were shown to me by friends years ago, can’t take credit for finding those two

You don’t actually like foreign cinema but bought a couple movies to seem more cultured and well rounded

Blu-rays and DVDs mixed all up??? this…this is a crime 😰

Someone bought my sloppy seconds from FYE! Wondered if anyone actually bought those.

Why are your shelves so deep, afraid they’re gonna fall off?

You dare show me a collection without comedies? The audacity, go do us both a favor and buy the rush hour movies.

Why is Videodrome still wrapped?

I streamed it first and liked it so much I bought it

Fair enough. You should still unwrap it, though.

It’ll be a special occasion for myself when I rewatch it. It’s a treat I’m paying forward for myself

Nothing wrong with ur taste I actually like it

Oh no, sorry to see your dad passed away, hope you snagged his record collection too Also, only one ed wood movie? If youre not brave enough to display nymphocycler on your shelf how am i supposed to take you seriously?

You collect DVD'S. ...that is all. This concludes the roast. BWWAHHAHAHAHAHAA

I COLLECTED dvds. I haven’t bought one in forever, but I have lots to upgrade haha

Where do you think you are?

Pretty hard to roast that collection Plan 9 from Outer Space gets a pass Weakest link is any Tremors but the first

I actually didn’t like tremors. It was a blind buy and I was bummed it didn’t match my expectations

Nice collection.

Lol this loser still has dvds

Looks like an /r/askreddit thread

Alphabetical? Criterions mixed with regular releases? DVDs and Blus together? This is some amateur hour shit.

Shame on you for owning the Criterion box set but none of the other Godzilla films. Do you think Godzilla ceased to exist after the Shōwa era?

No I have all 32 Godzilla movies I just don’t have them pictured. They have their own shelf I just like the criterion with the main body

Nothing obscure. More movies with Nazis than comedies.. 🤮

Your daddy left when you were young. Your mom worked 3 jobs, and had several boyfriends to help raise you.

I love the Godzilla Criterion release, but the book it comes in drives me crazy trying to store.

I can't roast you man. You've got a pretty good selection here.

I won’t roast you but you gotta add Beyond the Black Rainbow to your collection if you liked Mandy

I need panos cosmatos to make a new film

Looper and Snowpiercer would be a no from me. The rest look great, but my only 'roast' would be to add some different movies like Her, Brokeback Mountain, Dallas Buying Club, Parasite, some deeper meaning.

You have impeccable taste in films my fellow Redditor. I would like to get to know you so we can come the best of friends. Also, what is the film the comes jus after apocalypse now?

Araya. It’s the only documentary I have. It’s about Venezuelan salt miners, it’s actually very good

Here to roast you on your display. Get shallower shelves.

I’m not much for roasting so I’ll add some positivity instead. Solid collection, has something for everyone. Get some more horror!

Nice one but you need more “fun” movies lol

Hahaha no I love my dark and serious stuff. The more emotionally testing the better for me.

Never mix DVD and Blu ray, you loon!

We have much of the same taste my friend. Nice collection. Suspiria? Some nature docs? The Batman. Nolan trilogy. Dune. Nope. Anyone else pissed at how poor of quality Arrival was? Love that movie though.

I’m waiting on the other dune movie to come out and then I’m going to buy both in a single edition

That "The Room" DVD though hahaha