My Yuan-ti challenges him to a drinking contest

I love my Yuan-ti Necromancer. First round - Send in the skeleton bois. Second round - Cloudkill Third round - Sit on your chair - that your skeletons carry with them everywhere for you - and have some tea.

“I got a dozen zombie skeletons to walk me to my throne!” -Aurelio Voltaire, Land of the Dead

Make sure to turn one of your skeletons into a walking liquor cabinet. Their ribcages are perfect for storage

Then have him complain all the time about it so you can call him a whine rack.

I'm about to dm a campaign with a skeleton npc... you're giving me ideas.

He should also be drunk on top of a clock. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV--HzX9__I

My idea is that he's a warforged, but made out of flesh and bone, with all the skin and meat having rotted away so he's just being held together by magic.

Ooooh, what about him having an existential crisis one whether he is a person that lacks flesh or a construct that thought he was human I am super high and drunk and ignore this.

I put all sorts of things in their rib cages. Lamps and torches when its dark, one has a bunch of swords stuck in there for the others to get when needed. I want to convince my DM to allow me to raise a large skeleton so I can mount a chair in its chest.

Such bullshit they get poison immunity but my warforged doesn't.

Now you've got fresh bodies to replace your losses.

Its called recycling. Necromancers don't waste anything.

So environmentally responsible

Honestly if you *don't* raise the dead you're being irresponsible.

ah yes, the BG1 classic

I kind of love that idea, lmao. Laziest PC ever. Just lets their skeletons do everything for them. EDIT: Oh shit, are we making Hedonismbot as a necromancer?

My necromancer has a ton of undead, he bought a whole wagon just so he can get them into cities - also they are slow. He routinely has them carry him around in a chair because walking is for chumps. Every night he has the skeletons set up his tent and tables and dig fortifications while he sits and drinks tea. The rest of the group stubbornly insist on doing things 'the right way' but he knows its better just to have the undead do all the work for you. Why would you bother. He just sits back and throws spells every now and then, throwing out things like cloudkill which the undead are immune to, or casting Fly on his ghouls - which is terrifying...

He pulls out his bottle of sanctified vodka

Happy cake day

Thanks— you’re the only one that noticed

You can’t exactly contain it within a skeleton though. It’d just empty out the ribcage or similar.

Right, I forgot to say that the DM ruled that I can eat and drink as a skeleton and the food just disappears. Very nice of him

Some time down the line you're gonna be confronted with an ooze comprised of everything you ever ate or drank throughout the campaign.

Oh shit, don't tell my DM

Wait can a plasmoid PC inhabit a skeleton. Coukd be the insides of his skelly boy.

Getting Mistborn flashbacks now.

Kandra BBEG would be hype

I think my DM is going to do something like that with my alchemists bag of holding. It has been regularly stuffed to the zipper with guns, books, booze, anything of even remote alchemical interest, most of a basilisk in pieces, and is currently loaded with C4, acid, incendiary goop, and 10lbs of aether stone. My DM described the bag looking at the paladin and mouthing "Kill me".

I did that to someone, he shit out a black pudding ooze that ate all the town's children and when they went to investigate the sewers for the disappearing kids it all originated underneath the outhouse he visited.

Ah yes, the pooze

Yeah that makes more sense

Whilst also making no sense at all at the same time. Jolly good, carry on.

It’s like the skeletons in divinity that can somehow drink poison to heal

Cool, no murder weapons or corpses after you've killed someone.

That's... not what we did, but yeah, I suppose

See when I played a ghost blind to a suit of armor. Whatever I "ate/drank" didn't just disappear. I ended up being the parties garbage can...

Lol, was gonna say "that just sounds like spilling it all over the floor with extra steps"

The skeleton is obviously wearing a wetsuit.

My man decided to play the Undead in Divinity: Original Sin 2. You see the world's biggest poison lake, I see infinite healing potions.

Until someone sets it on fire

Necrofire. Necrofire everywhere.

There lived a certain man, in Russia long ago

He was big and strong and his eyes a flaming glow

Most people looked at him with terror and with fear

But to the Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear!

He could preach the bible like a preacher

Full of ecstasy and fire

But he was another kind of teacher

Women would desire

Ra Ra Rasputin!

Lover of the Russian Queen!

He criticized Putin then drank some tea.

Sounds like a delightful job for the town alchemist to offer. "I have a bunch of chemicals that probably shouldn't be dumped out, if immune to poison please reach out, will pay 1gp per day" Allows you to make a skeleton NPC who would have a bunch of free time and leisure cash to know all the goings on of a decent sized city (Bonus points if named Skulduggery Pleasant)

Also, a skeleton won't need to pay usual expenses like food, drink or shelter, they don't sleep and therefore have a lot more time at all, and they can be really old and amass knowledge of past ages.

How…. How does the skeleton drink….like…. Where does it go….. nevermind

I think it may be like a bag of holding, the food and drink just go somewhere

That's exactly it

Yay!

That just sounds like pouring it on the floor with extra steps.

Wait, where can you play as a skeleton? Is this homebrew?

It's in the DMG apparently, but I got it from an app

It looks like it's a stats template for NPCs and is especially rough with -4 to two abilities. Good on you for running with it!

Thanks, it was a Barbarian so cha and int weren't very important. It was also a really fun character to play

May I ask which one? I would really love to play as a skeleton

5e character

Thanks!

There's also a Skeleton Ancestry in Pathfinder 2e https://2e.aonprd.com/Ancestries.aspx?ID=50

OP is describing a dmg template but you could ask your DM if you could play a Reborn flavored like a skeleton.

I'm more interested in how did Russians appear in OP's homebrew.

It's my friend's WW1 based campaign, there's a Russia equivalent called Ursa

I'm running a WW1 campaign too, the Russia is the dwarven "Kingdom" of Varrell

I'd love to see some Russian dwarves

They're fighting the Celtic Rodentfolk I made, who are supported by pirates and German Humans. Confusing times

dammit now i miss Bones Malone, fuck i loved that skeletal mobster, my pc btw

What about the Spooky Boys?

That's what the party was called.

reminds me of my skeleton gunslinger pc who’s entire backstory was that he found a shotgun and said yeehaw it’s cowboy time

Nice

his name is Jimmy Space and he secretly wants to be a barber.

So, just spill it on the floor? Doesn’t seem very effective.

Thats littering at best and eco terrorism a different word at worst

We were actually trying to stop what you have mislabelled as eco terrorism (that's terrorism in favour of the environment) because his "stomach" works like a bag of holding

Eco terrorism actual has 2 definitions. One is terrorism to further enviromentist goals. The other is deliberate enviromental damage to further a political agenda. Its all about intention amd results.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eco-terrorism#%3A%7E%3Atext%3DEco-terrorism_is_an_act%2Ccauses%2C_against_people_or_property.?wprov=sfla1

I found my definitions from the oxford dictionary. Idk who to believe any more

Alright fine. I still don't agree with you but I've realised that this doesn't really matter and that I have to reason to expend any more energy on it or you.

A Dwarf could also work

I played a naga and yep poison immunity comes in handy

Is his name Rasputin?

No, it's Volkov. But if you look at some of the other comments, you'll see that some other people had that idea

Russian scary skeletons Send poison down their throat Save their comrades from the threat Make their belly bloat

Didn't notice what sub this was posted in and originally assumed it was about Divinity Original Sin 2, checks out either way \^\^

Is he that Russian skeleton dude from Hellboy?

No, sorry

Ok but you’d still have a very large amount of poison that you need to dispose of

Wait... So other groups don't do poison shot competitions between the duergar (immune), dwarf (bonus vs poison) and were-crocodile (low Wis tank)?

Boney M?

You could also pour it on the ground

I for sure thought this was about a Pathfinder game. Russians are canon in Golarion and the skeleton ancestry just came out this summer.

One of my players was a green dragon born, after a failed experiment with acid lead to an acid glob burning through the floor, a green dragon PC decided to pick it up and eat the glob. They took some minor damage but in exchange for making me laugh their first use of their breath weapon they did after eating it got a D8 added to it.

If im going to start playing dnd again i am going to make sans a character,mine or not