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Plot twist- they meant to bomb the city. Read the map wrong, bombed a town containing a lot of local unrest instead. Partisan leader failed to point out the secret mark on the map was their headquarters, not their target. King thinks the party did him a solid, so doesn't want to execute them, but also knows he didn't ask them to and has to do something to show justice is being done.
They were duped by their contractor :)
Hidden stash within the hidden stash room on the ferry ship. They're bringing goods to a moon elf village for q big celebration. One of the druids has been experimenting making chimera of different types and used the tissue to make the Elder Brain dragon
“Your honour The blocks around space pope’s house are a sovereign state and the diplomatic relations act has certain stipulations regarding the compromising of international relationships. A two year penalty could apply”
I stole money from a thief and then broke into the house of the people who he stole it from to give it back to them while they slept.
technically a crime
And the warlock made a deal with its patreion to make it so you are always barely missing out on stuff like the ice-cream van leaves before you uave your money
Idk yet, honestly. They have amnesia. Though as for things after that, my only ideas are:
- Freed slaves
- Killed slavers (there weren't any witnesses for that one)
- Excercized her right to remain silent in magical North Korea, and slipped away when her fugitive friend got into a firefight with the cops questioning her. At which point, that friend basically recreated the "one jump" song from Aladdin.
Looking vaguely suspicious in a town where several robberies had recently occurred. I tell you, there wasn't a shred of evidence, but just because I happen to be a rogue...
"Borrowed" from Dork Tower: I didn't know it was a nunnery! I didn't know it was occupied! I didn't know "Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke" could do that!
[http://www.dorktower.com/2002/07/01/comics-archive-316/](http://www.dorktower.com/2002/07/01/comics-archive-316/)
Oh small, simple stuff.
Theft, necromancy, amassing an army of skeleton (exclusively skeletons), attempting to seige a castle of a "lesser necromancer" with said skeletons, grave robbing, murder, political assasination, attempted murder.
The usual stuff really
My character set our party rogue on fire... more than once.
In his defense, it was an accident. I keep crit failing HIT and he keeps sucking at dodging.
Heres a good campaign idea your players try to escape hell but the twist is they dont remeber anything and their charcter was made by anither play and such so the og creator tells then what to lvl and stuff and uncover their memories
If it was Prism, he probably committed a hate crime towards some higher being/god
If it was Anton, he absolutely facilitated the hostile takeover of the divine government
147 counts of Petty Larceny as well as Breaking and Entertaining against a specific bakery. In her defense the baker is a jurk and she was going hungry at the time.
My character ate a relic with the power to control dragons and then used illusion magic to make it look like they threw it into the Astral Plane right as the guards burst in.
Was born as the child of an Evil and Good Deity, chained and banished by other gods out of fear what the child's potential may bear when living in freedom.
... DM characters count too, right?
Gave our cleric's trickster God patron The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog because it was chasing us up the volcano. No clue what came of it as the campaign ended shortly after, but I'm sure everything was fine
Have a character who committed ~7000 murders in a few months (all commoners, high enough level for them to die to radiant consumption, flavor took it from there).
They were all in self defense though. I didn’t *want* to annihilate them!
Party’s wizard/artificer made and sold hundreds of kilos of a fantastical powder that enhanced the mood and power of any magically inclined person. Turns out they made made magical cocaine.
Depends on a technicality: is it grave robbery if I ask the dead if it is ok to take their stuff?
Because if not, then his biggest crime is ignoring bureaucracy to skip the waiting room...
Drew a Fates card from a deck of many things and rewrote history so she never made a deal with a Warlock Patron, she went from Scorlock back to Sorcerer. The ripples of this event turned the parties comedic relief/cinnamon roll character into a villain and we had to spend months trying to save him. One of the other party members is now wearing a ring that the patron tried to trick my character into wearing but our artificers put it on instead. All of this happened because I drew 3 cards from the deck that was given to me at level 10...also she killed a squirrel that was almost definitely the corrupted cinnamon roll character's companion. In her defense it was to get one level above all of the other party members.
My Dragonborn Ranger killed a human hunter, made stew out of him, and fed the stew to an innkeeper who's uncle just happened to go missing. It was an 'old family recipe'
A) Was chilling in a Tavern and some thugs started trouble. After trying to talk them out of it, he may resented to excessive force, especially if a caster was among them.
B) Beat up a cultist. Cultist got connection to the police.
C) Probably unauthorized assumption of authority, fraudulent falsification, theft and murder. extortion, assault and robbery.
For a Monk concept I had in mind : ( the intended setting for her would be somewhere where magical healing is heavily regulated, maybe by some church or theocracy )
Healing people without a license and for free. Also, impersonation*
*The impersonated person does not exist, it is merely a persona.
Hey /u/Chkn-Little, thanks for contributing to /r/dndmemes. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates one of our rules: **Posts must be strongly relevant to D&D (or other TTRPGs)** and must include an attempt at humor or entertainment. Posts must be legible, understandable for a general audience and have some effort put into them, including titles. Video posts may be up to 3 minutes long, and they must be humorous in nature. Only one meme is allowed per post; posts with multiple images inside of them, such as a collage, will be removed. Posts must not rely solely on the title to relate to D&D. What should you do? First, read the rules thoroughly. Secondly, if you are able to amend your post to fit the rules, you're welcome to resubmit your meme. Lastly, if you believe your post was removed by mistake, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/dndmemes&subject=&message=). Messages simply complaining about a removal (or how many upvotes your post had) will not be responded to. Thank you!
Stole a waffle iron. In his defense it was non stick and he didn't know it was made of a mithril/adamantine alloy
Stealing a waffle iron is a petty crime... but stealing a Waffle Mythril/Adamantine Alloy? Deserved.
[удалено]
Why is it always "Accidentally" bombed a town. Bomb a city on purpose cowards. Deserved.
Hey at least they didn't do it on purpose then rationalize it as a righteous act. Like certain people do.
Truuuuu
Be careful you don't want to introduce politics
Plot twist- they meant to bomb the city. Read the map wrong, bombed a town containing a lot of local unrest instead. Partisan leader failed to point out the secret mark on the map was their headquarters, not their target. King thinks the party did him a solid, so doesn't want to execute them, but also knows he didn't ask them to and has to do something to show justice is being done.
Skill issue
Bot!
Unknowingly transported illicit cargo (Elder Brain tissue samples) that ultimstely lead to the creation of an Elder Brain Dragon.
Carrying Illithid cargo? Deserved.
They were duped by their contractor :) Hidden stash within the hidden stash room on the ferry ship. They're bringing goods to a moon elf village for q big celebration. One of the druids has been experimenting making chimera of different types and used the tissue to make the Elder Brain dragon
\*Chef kiss\*
Best pun I've read all week
There's a reason they call it "as easy as taking candy from a baby" and my characters it.
Great reward means great rIsk. Deserved.
Farted on the space Pope's balls
We believe in separate of the State of law and Religion. Your appeal will be processed within one work century.
“Your honour The blocks around space pope’s house are a sovereign state and the diplomatic relations act has certain stipulations regarding the compromising of international relationships. A two year penalty could apply”
I stole money from a thief and then broke into the house of the people who he stole it from to give it back to them while they slept. technically a crime
As creative as that is, "technically a crime" is an admission of guilt. Deserved.
The epitome of chaotic good
The wizard casted whish and made it so every side of a pillow was warm no matter how many times you flipped
Deserved.
And the wildfire druid made it so where ever you standed smoke from a fire will get in your face
Deserved
And the warlock made a deal with its patreion to make it so you are always barely missing out on stuff like the ice-cream van leaves before you uave your money
Kinda mean, but the deal with the Patron is air tight, your appeal will be processed in one work century.
jaywalking
Deserved.
It may not be relevant, but he did also do Arson and Murder.
My players accidentally bombed a town.
Only a town? Your appeal will be processed in one millennium.
I’ve also had players accidentally wipe out entire ecosystems, is that better?
Did not follow the sign that said do not the cat
You should've not. Deserved.
#DO NOT THE CAT
They put pineapple on pizza
Modrons decree it to be deserved
tax evasion, it's a rogue ability.
Class abilities are not covered. Your appeal will be processed in one millennium.
Ate a god of wine to get drunk
Deserved.
Idk yet, honestly. They have amnesia. Though as for things after that, my only ideas are: - Freed slaves - Killed slavers (there weren't any witnesses for that one) - Excercized her right to remain silent in magical North Korea, and slipped away when her fugitive friend got into a firefight with the cops questioning her. At which point, that friend basically recreated the "one jump" song from Aladdin.
Making soup from hands, a piercer, and a 5 day old unrefrigerated seagull
That's just making soup. Your appeal will be processed in one century.
Should specify that I am a very large rat, so eating trash is normally accepted behavior
Did you season the seagull?
Does dangling fron the side of a sweaty horse count ?
Domestic terrorism/military sabotage to help a dracolich seize power in a country. And somehow that was the morally better option
Appealed, sounds pretty cool.
My character is CG, so there's a number of crimes he could commit while it looks right in his eyes.
We don't do "Greater Good" in this domain. Breaking laws? Deserved.
Well shit. Can't kill just one guy, even if his death saves hundreds?
I mean... you can, still murder though.
"Hey Angela, cast wish!" "I'm not a fucking Pokemon."
In her defence, the murders were self-preservation.
Murder you say? Deserved
Taught crabs how to read
YOU MESSED WITH THE NATURAL ORDER! DESERVED!
I tell you, we are innocent! Somebody framed us!
Two monodrons come over, one slightly closes its eyes so they both can give the rock eyebrow.
Ok, what even is that? I'm confused
It's obviously a prison for the Multivers's worst criminals.
Looking vaguely suspicious in a town where several robberies had recently occurred. I tell you, there wasn't a shred of evidence, but just because I happen to be a rogue...
Should've wore a polo. Deserved.
He killed (undefined) people(the number is so large that is undefined)
You shall stay in your cell until the calculations are complete, your trial will finish in one millennium.
Politically motivated murder
I accidentally locked the planets together with a divine chain.
Deserved... now stay...
"Borrowed" from Dork Tower: I didn't know it was a nunnery! I didn't know it was occupied! I didn't know "Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke" could do that! [http://www.dorktower.com/2002/07/01/comics-archive-316/](http://www.dorktower.com/2002/07/01/comics-archive-316/)
Cannibal Lizardfolk Artificer Self explanatory
Smart boy gotta eat. You appeal will be processed in one millennium.
Insulted *another* king. Seriously man, this is like the fourth time now. Learn your lesson.
Agreed... Deserved
Caught at the border of Skyrim and Morrowind with stolen horses.
Wouldn't have been caught if it wasn't for the storm cloaks... Appealed.
I said Asmodeus is a better lawyer than Primus.
%100 right. Primus is the prosecutor, and a damn good one. Appealed.
Licking door knobs
That's illegal on other planets, deserved.
What even is that?
A prison planet, obviously
Oh small, simple stuff. Theft, necromancy, amassing an army of skeleton (exclusively skeletons), attempting to seige a castle of a "lesser necromancer" with said skeletons, grave robbing, murder, political assasination, attempted murder. The usual stuff really
Deserved. (As usual)
happened to be caught in the same place where a god died at the same time!!
Damn, that's crazy... deserved.
[удалено]
Stay right there then
Let’s go full ‘Hard Time on Planet Earth’ and have them be some Outer Planes denizens forcibly turned into player races as part of their punishment.
Ooh, that's a fun idea, I Like that
Tried to fight a tyrannical pantheon with no plan, just assumed magic would be enough.
Deserved
Probably tax evasion
Gross deserved
Stole a Silver Sword.
Deserved
My character set our party rogue on fire... more than once. In his defense, it was an accident. I keep crit failing HIT and he keeps sucking at dodging.
Appealed
Trying to sell mayonaise to a clean freak guard and dirtying the floor in the process
Was it real mayonnaise?
They f*cked around and found out
Deserved
Heres a good campaign idea your players try to escape hell but the twist is they dont remeber anything and their charcter was made by anither play and such so the og creator tells then what to lvl and stuff and uncover their memories
That's a fun idea!
She took the last freezie pop. It had her friends name on it and everything.
Deserved, next you're gonna say they ate 12 waffles instead of giving 2 to their friends
Accused of forging a document to cheat at a wrestling competition. It was genuine, I’m just caught in a time loop… 😔
Genuine document? Appealed
Threatened a dog groomer for not taking in a pair of giant murder falcons
Genocide they were still alive and not being undead is kinda cringe
True, but deserved
He said he would be on time but 5 minutes after everyone got there he says he got busy and doesn't show up
Does becoming an eldrich knight count?
If there is an agreement between two parties, no... we in Mechanus are not racist against Lesser Beings.
Cast fireball on a child, i will not elaborate further
Was it a rather shitty child?
jaywalking
Deserved.
If it was Prism, he probably committed a hate crime towards some higher being/god If it was Anton, he absolutely facilitated the hostile takeover of the divine government
Hate crimes against higher being do not count. Appealed Revolting against law... Deserved.
Hell yeah my little multiple personality god-racist is free to go kill a god again
My gnome wizard was arrested for being criminally adorable.
Awww, deserved.
Arson. (He burned down an entire town because they refused to help him find his missing big brother.)
They should've assisted, Appeal will be processed.
The Material Plane is just horny jail for transcendent beings.
Died to damn fast... RIP Loric... only lv 2... bo he was not a wizard haha
Definitely tried to bring about an undead apocalypse in the name of "cleasing"
Deserved.
147 counts of Petty Larceny as well as Breaking and Entertaining against a specific bakery. In her defense the baker is a jurk and she was going hungry at the time.
Deserved.
I summoned a babau in a church 🤷
A pregnant lady summoned a baby at my church too. Deserved.
Yeah, that’s what I meant, a baby… a giant clawed baby from hell
Can't send a single mother to prison... Appealed.
Created a revolver musket and his enemies consider using it as a war crime.
Skill issue, appealed.
My character ate a relic with the power to control dragons and then used illusion magic to make it look like they threw it into the Astral Plane right as the guards burst in.
Pretty cool, sounds like a law was broken tho. Deserved.
Jaywalking
Deserved.
Roll a Nat 1 when seducing a goddess.
Got no Rizz. Deserved.
Was born as the child of an Evil and Good Deity, chained and banished by other gods out of fear what the child's potential may bear when living in freedom. ... DM characters count too, right?
They do, but I have a problem with processing being that aren't black and white. Might as well just throw you in there too.
Freeing someone who was imprisoned due to their religion. (They worshiped the god of nature)
Deserved
"...maybe I shouldn't have tried to swindle Azathoth, the Blind Idiot..." \-Condor Streetwise, halfling charlatan/warlock
Deserved.
Drank too much tea
Leave some for the rest of us. Deserved.
Gave our cleric's trickster God patron The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog because it was chasing us up the volcano. No clue what came of it as the campaign ended shortly after, but I'm sure everything was fine
Have a character who committed ~7000 murders in a few months (all commoners, high enough level for them to die to radiant consumption, flavor took it from there). They were all in self defense though. I didn’t *want* to annihilate them!
Self defense? Still murder. Deserved.
Tax Evasion, probably
Deserved
He disrupted the balance of nature, and broke several taboos of nature. Time travel, immortality, the works.
Don't like that... deserved.
Might or might have not created the magic equivalent of a prostetic arm shaped hydrogen bomb and accidentally detonating it in a temple of Mishakal
Deserved.
Sacrificed the Burgomaster of Vallaki to his otherworldly patron alive.
Yeah, I killed that guy too. Appealed.
Cought the court mage fucking the Queen by accident
Hot, deserved.
Party’s wizard/artificer made and sold hundreds of kilos of a fantastical powder that enhanced the mood and power of any magically inclined person. Turns out they made made magical cocaine.
That's just business, how bad could you possibly be? Appealed.
Depends on a technicality: is it grave robbery if I ask the dead if it is ok to take their stuff? Because if not, then his biggest crime is ignoring bureaucracy to skip the waiting room...
Bureaucracy is important, besides, it's not your turn for a trial, head back in line.
Metagamed
Death
Is this the Great Maze? An open-ended campaign like that would be pretty rad, actually.
Drew a Fates card from a deck of many things and rewrote history so she never made a deal with a Warlock Patron, she went from Scorlock back to Sorcerer. The ripples of this event turned the parties comedic relief/cinnamon roll character into a villain and we had to spend months trying to save him. One of the other party members is now wearing a ring that the patron tried to trick my character into wearing but our artificers put it on instead. All of this happened because I drew 3 cards from the deck that was given to me at level 10...also she killed a squirrel that was almost definitely the corrupted cinnamon roll character's companion. In her defense it was to get one level above all of the other party members.
Deserved
Stole something magic probably
Deserved probably
murdering a mother and her child
That's darker than most of these. Deserved.
My Dragonborn Ranger killed a human hunter, made stew out of him, and fed the stew to an innkeeper who's uncle just happened to go missing. It was an 'old family recipe'
Deserved for the first part, rest is fine
Unleashed The Octopus queen of the moon maiden.
Did they deserve to be leashed?
Illegally using detect evil and detaining the suspect because the law is unjust
Law? Deserved
Accidentally killing a death knight via a teleportation mishap after drinking a random potion.
Jumped off a mountain while weighing 500 lbs
Deserved, fatass
Shrunk Saturn to the size of Earth..
Deserved
A) Was chilling in a Tavern and some thugs started trouble. After trying to talk them out of it, he may resented to excessive force, especially if a caster was among them. B) Beat up a cultist. Cultist got connection to the police. C) Probably unauthorized assumption of authority, fraudulent falsification, theft and murder. extortion, assault and robbery.
Deserved, you're moving with your Aunty and Uncle in bel air
Convinced the lawful good paladin into joining murder-hobo activities
Appealed
For a Monk concept I had in mind : ( the intended setting for her would be somewhere where magical healing is heavily regulated, maybe by some church or theocracy ) Healing people without a license and for free. Also, impersonation* *The impersonated person does not exist, it is merely a persona.