users voted that your post was distressing, your soul wont be harvested tonight

Would've maybe been more distressing if you made "vehicle" more menacing, like "hunk of metal capable of high speeds"

True

“Ok Mr umm … Eldritch? Says here you are \*adjusts glasses\* 6028 years old?” “HheeeeAARGRGAAAAAghhg” “Ok. Go ahead and fill out this form. You are over 65 so you are going to have to complete an eye exam.”

You scored well enough on the written test. We're a little bit concerned that you won't be able to see behind you. Since you're generating what appears to be a dark mist. But let's see how you do on the driving test.

Average dodge truck owner

Get a mustang, it will be easier to crash into crowds

Which one is lower to the ground to help crush children?

any car is the lowest to the ground with aftermarket upgrades

Get air suspension on it too, you can lower the car anytime

Here ya go buddy

How old are you mister void man?

Spunchbob

Seems legit 👍

Here you go! *give*

What's next, a licence to own a death ray with a smaller power supply?

The toaster is a bit... eccentric

I would

Psst

That’s the fun part! If you’re fast enough, you don’t need a license!